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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,803 - HI. 2 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,200 [bone cracks] AAH! 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,370 [audience groans] 4 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:18,267 [cheers and applause] 5 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:20,697 - YAY. THANK YOU. 6 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:23,430 ALL RIGHT. 7 00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:26,173 IN HER DEFENSE, HE DID RUIN HER VAGINA. 8 00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:28,967 [laughter] 9 00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:30,497 I'M JUST GLAD THAT SOMEONE 10 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,070 STILL DISCIPLINES THEIR CHILDREN. 11 00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:34,367 I PLAN ON SPANKING MY KIDS IN THE FACE 12 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:38,167 WHEN A COURT FINALLY PROVES THEY'RE MINE. 13 00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:39,827 WELCOME TO TOSH.0. 14 00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:41,133 WAVE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR. 15 00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:44,473 BUT THIS TIME, WAVE THEM LIKE YOU DO CARE... 16 00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:47,297 BECAUSE THIS IS OUR SPECIAL HALLOWEEN EPISODE. 17 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,100 WHICH REALLY MEANS WE'RE JUST GONNA BE SHOWING 18 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:51,470 A FEW MORE DISGUSTING VIDEOS THAN NORMAL. 19 00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:53,167 ARE YOU SCARED YET? 20 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:56,367 TODAY, WE GIVE THE NINTENDO 64 KID A WEB REDEMPTION, 21 00:00:56,367 --> 00:00:59,327 I SHOW OTHER WAYS TO DO "FIRE IN THE HOLE" VIDEOS, 22 00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:00,833 AND I'LL BE SHOWING YOU 23 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:02,973 THE MOST DISTURBING/SCARIEST THING 24 00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:04,797 YOU'VE EVER SEEN ON TELEVISION. 25 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,800 AND, NO, IT'S NOT FERGIE'S FACE IN HD. 26 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,870 AAH! 27 00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:13,367 SO GROSS. 28 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,067 SPEAKING OF AWFUL BANDS, 29 00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,967 I'M SURE THIS GUY'S THE LEADER SINGER OF ONE. 30 00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:23,697 [audience groaning] 31 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:26,500 HIS OTHER COOL TRICK 32 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:29,300 IS GETTING PEOPLE LATTES. 33 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:30,830 THE UP SIDE TO DOING THIS TO YOUR TONGUE 34 00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:32,473 IS YOU CAN GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP 35 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,467 IN HALF THE TIME. 36 00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:38,667 ACCORDING TO AN OWL, WHOSE ROUGH ESTIMATE WAS THREE. 37 00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:41,397 [laughter] 38 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,800 ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS ROUGH. 39 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,930 HOW ABOUT SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE FUN TO LOOK AT. 40 00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:46,973 AW! 41 00:01:46,967 --> 00:01:49,397 SEE, I'M A PROUD OWNER OF A GAYISH LOOKING DOG, 42 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,470 BUT AT LEAST I DON'T TAKE IT TO THIS LEVEL. 43 00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:55,627 - YOU SHOWING OFF YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUMES? 44 00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:57,273 PIXIE, ARE YOU PRINCESS LEIA? 45 00:01:57,267 --> 00:02:00,797 - NEXT YEAR, INSTEAD OF PUTTING US IN THESE COSTUMES, 46 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,070 HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE US TO THE POUND 47 00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:03,427 AND GET US EUTHANIZED? 48 00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:04,933 [audience groans and laughs] 49 00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:08,303 - WICKET, ARE YOU DARTH VADER? 50 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:10,730 - ARE YOU GUYS THERE? 51 00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:12,533 SEEMS LIKE THAT GUY [bleep] THE FORCE 52 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,303 RIGHT OUT OF PIXIE AND WICKET. 53 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:17,370 - DON'T GET MAD AT ME. 54 00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:19,097 MOMMY'S THE ONE WHO BOUGHT THE COSTUMES. 55 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,700 - AND BY "MOMMY", HE MEANS "BOYFRIEND". 56 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,767 ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME FOR OUR PIC OF THE WEEK. 57 00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:29,867 [singing off-key] * NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH 58 00:02:29,867 --> 00:02:31,197 * NAH NAH NAH-- 59 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,400 I'M DOING IT NOT COMPLETELY LIKE THE ORIGINAL 60 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,400 SO THAT WE CAN ACTUALLY AIR THAT ON TELEVISION. 61 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,230 BECAUSE THEY OWN * NAH NAH NAH NAH 62 00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:38,403 SO I HAVE TO DO IT... 63 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,800 [off-key] * NAH NAH NAH NAH 64 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,100 LIKE I'M [bleep] TONE DEAF. 65 00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,670 BUT I KNOW THE RIGHT WAY TO DO IT. 66 00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:45,167 BAT [bleep]! 67 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:46,797 audience: OH! 68 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,600 [laughter] 69 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,400 - DON'T GET EXCITED, LADIES. 70 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,970 HE'S FRUIT BAT. 71 00:02:52,967 --> 00:02:54,827 LET'S GET 20 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK 72 00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:58,103 AND SEE HOW MANY FUNNY COMMENTS WE CAN POST. 73 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:01,330 SOMEONE'S SUPER EXCITED FOR THE NEW TWILIGHT MOVIE. 74 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,930 PEEING WITH MORNING WOOD IS REALLY EASY 75 00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:09,073 WHEN YOU HANG UPSIDE DOWN. 76 00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:11,297 I FEEL BAD FOR ASIAN BATS. 77 00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:13,330 [audience groans] 78 00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:16,803 GREAT. A BAT THAT CAN GIVE YOU RABIES AND AN STD. 79 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,900 IT'S LIKE NICOLE RICHIE. 80 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:21,670 OH! 81 00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:24,467 LOOKS LIKE ALL THE BLOOD HE'S SUCKED IS RUSHING TO HIS JUNK. 82 00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:25,927 [drumbeat] 83 00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:28,903 HMM. PERFECT TIMING. 84 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:32,070 ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT AN ANIMAL WITH A SLIGHTLY SMALLER PENIS? 85 00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:35,927 IT'S JUST A SHEEP WITH A MASK ON IT, YOU IDIOT. 86 00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:38,203 THEY'RE ALL SCARED. 87 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,800 IF THEY THINK THIS IS THE WORST PART OF THE DAY, 88 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,670 WAIT'LL THEY GET TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE. 89 00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,097 audience: AW! 90 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,800 - I KNOW. THEY'RE ALL TERRIFIED. 91 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:49,100 IT'S LIKE WATCHING BILL MAHER CHASE GIRLS AT A CLUB. 92 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,670 ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT? A HIDDEN CAMERA SHOW? 93 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,127 OKAY, THIS SHOULD BE BORING. 94 00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:03,067 audience: OH! 95 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,497 - YES! 96 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,900 THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR WEARING SUNGLASSES INSIDE, 97 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,070 YOU ASS[bleep]. 98 00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,267 WE'RE GONNA FILL IN THE BLANKS 99 00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:13,367 SO WHEN HE WAKES UP WE CAN EXPLAIN TO HIM 100 00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:15,127 WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN. 101 00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:19,473 [cheers and applause] 102 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,427 HIDDEN CAMERA SHOWS ARE AWFUL. 103 00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:24,073 BUT WHEN A PRANK GOES REALLY WRONG, 104 00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:26,067 IT SUDDENLY BECOME WATCHABLE. 105 00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:27,897 THIS IS IN BELGIUM, WHICH OF COURSE 106 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,530 IS KNOWN FOR THEIR WAFFLES AND BLACK BELTS. 107 00:04:30,533 --> 00:04:32,733 HERE WE HAVE A GUY ATTEMPTING 108 00:04:32,733 --> 00:04:35,203 THE OLD "NET OVER A TOTAL STRANGER'S HEAD AT THE MALL 109 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,670 THEN RUNNING THROUGH A CROWD OF NINJAS" GAG. 110 00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:39,467 IT'S A CLASSIC. 111 00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:42,067 WHAT HE FORGOT TO REALIZE IS THAT SPRINTING THROUGH A MALL 112 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,597 MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A CRIMINAL. 113 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,070 HE'S AT THE 30, THE 20-- DECAPITATED. 114 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,497 THAT WAS AWESOME. 115 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,400 LET'S SEE IT AGAIN. 116 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,930 audience: OH! 117 00:04:51,933 --> 00:04:55,333 - OH! WHY COULDN'T HAVE THIS BEEN DAX SHEPARD? 118 00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:58,103 I WANTED TO DO A B.J. NOVAK REFERENCE THERE, 119 00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:00,770 BUT NOBODY CARES WHO HE IS. 120 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,527 ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT AGAIN IN SLO-MO. 121 00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:04,903 audience: OH! 122 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,530 - THIS IS A LESSON TO ALL YOU DOUCHE BAGS 123 00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:07,833 AND IMPROV TROOPS. 124 00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:09,733 TAKE YOUR COMEDY GOLD TO THE OUTLET MALLS 125 00:05:09,733 --> 00:05:12,673 WHERE IT'S JUST FAT POOR PEOPLE WADDLING AROUND. 126 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:19,730 THANK GOODNESS THE MANAGER OF CINNABON CAME RUNNING OVER. 127 00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,633 TO POINT OUT THAT THERE'S TWO GUYS 128 00:05:21,633 --> 00:05:24,873 WEARING THE SAME GAY MIME SHIRT. 129 00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:28,827 ALSO, YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER 130 00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:30,433 AFTER MY FACE HAS BEEN VIOLATED? 131 00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:34,573 WHEN MY ATTACKER GENTLY RUBS MY BACK... 132 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:38,227 AND WHISPERS IN MY EAR THAT I DESERVE THIS. 133 00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:40,603 LUCKY FOR US, EUROPEAN COPYRIGHT LAWS 134 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,570 ARE PRETTY, PRETTY... 135 00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:45,527 PRETTY LENIENT. 136 00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:48,133 WHICH MEANS GEMS LIKE THIS END UP ON THE INTERNET, 137 00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:49,973 AND FOR THAT, WE THANK YOU. 138 00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:51,367 COMING UP, WE GIVE 139 00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:52,867 THE NINTENDO 64 KID A WEB REDEMPTION. 140 00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:56,067 BUT FIRST, HERE'S THE CUTEST VIDEO I'VE EVER SEEN. 141 00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:58,367 PAY CLOSE ATTENTION, TURN THE VOLUME UP, 142 00:05:58,367 --> 00:06:00,497 BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE AT THE END, ONE OF THOSE CATS 143 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,970 MAKES A SLIGHTLY RACIST REMARK. 144 00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:05,967 [tranquil music] 145 00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:13,897 * 146 00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:21,973 - RARGH! 147 00:06:27,433 --> 00:06:30,073 - NINTENDO 64! 148 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,767 OH, MY GOD! 149 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,067 - THANK YOU, SANTA! - OH, MY GOD! 150 00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:37,067 OH, MY GOD! 151 00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:40,067 [screaming] 152 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:48,230 - I THINK THEY'RE EXCITED. 153 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,373 - YES! - OH, YES! 154 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,897 - YES! YES! - YES! YES! 155 00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:57,330 - YES! YES! YES! - YES! YES! YES! YES! 156 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,703 - I HAVEN'T BEEN THAT EXCITED 157 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,200 SINCE THE TIME PETER, STEWIE AND I 158 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,700 WENT TRICK OR TREATING AT CHRISTOPHER REEVE'S HOUSE. 159 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:06,900 [laughter] 160 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,370 NO CUTAWAY? UGH. 161 00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:10,897 THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH FUNNIER IF I WAS A CARTOON. 162 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,070 HEY, I DON'T BLAME THIS KID FOR GETTING EXCITED. 163 00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:14,867 THAT'S NINTENDO EFFING 64. 164 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:16,297 YOU EVER PLAY GOLDENEYE? 165 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,930 WELL, IF YOU DID, YOU'D UNDERSTAND. 166 00:07:17,933 --> 00:07:19,133 I LOVE CHRISTMAS. 167 00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:20,733 IT MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY. 168 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:23,103 RIGHT AFTER YOM KIPPUR. 169 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,700 DID I SAY THAT RIGHT? 170 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,630 SOME PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT CHRISTMAS. 171 00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:27,973 LIKE, OH, IT'S TOO COMMERCIAL, 172 00:07:27,967 --> 00:07:30,367 OR JESUS WASN'T REALLY BORN ON DECEMBER 25. 173 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,727 YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT UP! 174 00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:33,333 CHRISTMAS RULES. 175 00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:35,273 MY FAVORITE MEMORIES AREN'T OF THINGS I GOT. 176 00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:37,067 MINE ARE OF WATCHING MY SISTER HAVE MELTDOWNS 177 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,827 OVER THINGS SHE DIDN'T GET. 178 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,433 GREATEST PRESENT I EVER RECEIVED--A GO-KART. 179 00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:43,803 WHY IS MY HAT BACKWARDS? 180 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,170 FRED DURST PHASE. 181 00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:48,597 [laughter] 182 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,130 I DIDN'T GO CRAZY WHEN I GOT IT, EITHER. 183 00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:51,433 I CELEBRATED THE RIGHT WAY 184 00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:53,733 BY DESTROYING MY DAD'S YARD DOING DONUTS. 185 00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,573 THINGS WOULD BE TERRIBLE ABOUT CHRISTMAS. 186 00:07:55,567 --> 00:07:59,067 FOR ONE, MY FRIEND NATHAN WOULDN'T WORK. 187 00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:01,427 AND THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR TIM ALLEN. 188 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:04,073 WE'D BE DEPRIVED OF CLASSIC BEN AFFLECK MOVIES 189 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,597 LIKE SURVIVING CHRISTMAS AND REINDEER GAMES, 190 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,900 WHICH TO THIS DAY 191 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:10,470 IS A TRADITION IN THE TOSH HOUSEHOLD. 192 00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:12,897 THERE'D BE NO MISTLETOE, WHICH IS THE ONLY PLANT 193 00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,300 THAT LEGALLY ALLOWS YOU TO MOUTH-RAPE YOUR COWORKER 194 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,130 AT THE OFFICE PARTY. 195 00:08:17,133 --> 00:08:19,333 THAT IS A FACT. 196 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,073 POOR PEOPLE LOVE CHRISTMAS. IT DISTRACTS THEM. 197 00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,167 IT'S THE ONE TIME OF THE YEAR 198 00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,627 THEY CAN GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING. 199 00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:26,933 LOOK AT THIS KID. 200 00:08:26,933 --> 00:08:28,803 HE'S JUST SITTING AROUND IN HIS FOOTIE PAJAMAS 201 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,930 AND SUDDENLY HE'S HANDED 202 00:08:29,933 --> 00:08:32,303 THE GREATEST 64-BIT CONSOLE EVER MADE. 203 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,070 THAT'S THE GREAT THING ABOUT AMERICA. 204 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,627 COOL [bleep] JUST DROPS IN YOUR LAP FOR NO REASON. 205 00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:38,633 LIKE THE NOBEL PEACE PRICE. 206 00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:40,803 [audience groans, laughs and applauds] 207 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,070 BESIDES, THE ONLY REASON 208 00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:44,897 PARENTS BUY THEIR KIDS VIDEO GAMES 209 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,370 IS SO THEY'LL GO TO THEIR ROOM FOR THE NEXT SIX YEARS. 210 00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,527 THERE'S A WAY TO BEHAVE WHEN YOU RECEIVE GIFTS, 211 00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:50,903 AND THIS ISN'T IT. 212 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:52,830 THAT'S WHY WE BROUGHT THE NINTENDO 64 KID OUT 213 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,973 TO FACE HIS GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST 214 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,597 IN THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION. 215 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,570 [cheers and applause] 216 00:08:59,567 --> 00:09:02,167 - KEEP 'EM CLOSED. 217 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,597 ALL RIGHT, OPEN YOUR EYES. 218 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,870 - OH! - AH! 219 00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:07,567 IT'S FAKE CHRISTMAS! 220 00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:09,967 - HOW OLD ARE YOU? - 20. 221 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:11,097 - HOW OLD WERE YOU IN THAT VIDEO? 222 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:14,470 - I WAS SEVEN. - SEVEN! OH! 223 00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:17,527 HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE JOY YOU HAD THAT MORNING 224 00:09:17,533 --> 00:09:18,973 TO ONE OF YOUR JEWISH FRIENDS? 225 00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:24,503 - I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO ANSWER THAT. 226 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,670 - [laughs] 227 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:30,597 I MEAN, THEY WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT. 228 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,670 BMW BOUGHT THAT VIDEO? 229 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:33,967 - YEAH. 230 00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:35,667 GOT A CALL ALL OF A SUDDEN, AND IT WAS LIKE 231 00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:37,327 BMW WANTED THIS VIDEO. 232 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:38,503 - HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY YOU? 233 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,930 - A GOOD AMOUNT. 234 00:09:39,933 --> 00:09:41,873 - OVER 5,000? - YEAH. 235 00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:43,697 - OVER 10,000? - YEAH. 236 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,630 - OVER 20,000? - OH, YEAH. 237 00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:48,703 - HOLY [bleep]. 238 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,670 DID YOU GET OVER $50,000 FOR THAT COMMERCIAL? 239 00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:51,827 - NO, THAT WAS IT. 240 00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:53,133 - HAVE YOU INVESTED YOUR MONEY? 241 00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:54,673 - NO. - NO. GOOD. 242 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,797 YOU'RE YOUNG. YOU'LL MAKE MORE. 243 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,130 WHO PUT THE VIDEO ONLINE? 244 00:09:58,133 --> 00:10:00,233 - I PUT IT ON MY WEB SITE. - UH-HUH. 245 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,233 - AND THEN SOMEONE SAW IT ON THERE AND PUT IT ON YOUTUBE. 246 00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:04,003 - HOW OFTEN DO YOU GO ONLINE 247 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,470 AND READ THE COMMENTS PEOPLE POSTED UNDER YOUR VIDEO? 248 00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:07,697 - I THINK I STOPPED 249 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,770 AFTER THEY STARTED TALKING ABOUT RAILING MY SISTER. 250 00:10:09,767 --> 00:10:12,827 - [raucous laughter] 251 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:15,133 OH! 252 00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:17,773 YEAH, THAT'S ALWAYS A TOUGH ONE TO HANDLE. 253 00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,927 DO YOU--DO YOU TELL PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY THAT'S-- 254 00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:22,873 - NO. I USUALLY DON'T TELL PEOPLE AT ALL. 255 00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:24,267 - REALLY? - YEAH. 256 00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:26,067 - I WONDER IF YOU COULD ACTUALLY GET LAID 257 00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:29,067 OFF OF A REACTION YOU HAD WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN YEARS OLD. 258 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:30,697 - THAT'D BE TIGHT. 259 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,930 - [laughs] THAT WOULD BE INCREDIBLE. 260 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,173 OKAY, OUR ORIGINAL WEB REDEMPTION IDEA 261 00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:37,197 WAS TO HAVE TO CALM DOWN. 262 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,230 - HUH? 263 00:10:38,233 --> 00:10:39,603 - YOU KNOW, JUST RECEIVE A GIFT 264 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,630 LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN AND SAY, "THANK YOU." 265 00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:44,703 BUT OUR GOAL NOW IS JUST TO TEACH YOU 266 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,170 THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS 267 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,797 AND THAT'S IT'S BETTER TO GIVE THAN RECEIVE. 268 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,200 BUT FIRST, WE ARE GONNA BREAK FOR LUNCH. 269 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,500 - OOH, AND THIS IS-- - HERE'S YOUR LUNCH, DANIEL. 270 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,630 - THANK YOU, RACHEL. WHAT DID I GET? 271 00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:58,033 IT'S A TURKEY SANDWICH! 272 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:01,303 AAH! IT'S A TURKEY SANDWICH! 273 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:04,570 YES! YES! YES! 274 00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:06,497 HEY, BUDDY. - HEY. 275 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,900 - MY FRIEND BRANDON HAS SOMETHING FOR YOU. 276 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,500 - HERE, I GOT YOU SOME-- - GOD, YOU STINK! 277 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:12,970 SORRY. LOOK! 278 00:11:12,967 --> 00:11:15,497 - WHAT THE [bleep] AM I GONNA DO WITH THIS? 279 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,130 - YOU COULD SELL IT FOR CRACK. 280 00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:18,473 - SELL IT. - LET'S BE QUITE HONEST. 281 00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:20,667 LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, BRANDON. UGH! 282 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:23,067 - THAT FELT GOOD. - OF COURSE IT FELT GOOD. 283 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:25,397 - COME OVER HERE. 284 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,270 WE'VE HAD A GREAT DAY. 285 00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:28,767 YOU'VE LEARNED SOME PERSPECTIVE. 286 00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:31,567 YOU LEARNED THE VALUE OF GIVING AND NOT RECEIVING. 287 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:34,097 SO AS A SHOW, WE WENT OUT AND GOT YOU A GIFT 288 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,970 FOR TOSH.0 TO YOU. 289 00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:37,397 YOU EXCITED? 290 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,700 - I'M REALLY EXCITED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. 291 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,270 - OKAY, THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW. 292 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,497 ARE YOU READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT? 293 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,070 - YES. 294 00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:45,897 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S OPEN UP YOUR GIFT. 295 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:50,770 [mystical music] 296 00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:52,827 - NINTENDO 64! 297 00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,733 OH, MY GOD! 298 00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:06,073 - ENJOY YOUR BRAND-NEW... 299 00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:08,427 - ARE YOU [bleep]? WHAT? 300 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,073 - SEA-DOO! - AAH! 301 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,597 OOOHHH, MY GOD! 302 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,170 - YEAH, GET UP ON THERE. ENJOY IT. IT'S YOURS. 303 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,727 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH IT. 304 00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:18,133 - OH, MY GOD! - WE'RE LIKE OPRAH. 305 00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:20,373 - THIS IS AWESOME. - HOW'D WE DO? 306 00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:22,327 - YOU--YOU DID A GREAT JOB. 307 00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:25,433 - RECEIVE A GIFT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN. 308 00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:27,203 SAY THANK YOU. SAY THANK YOU. 309 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,700 [slowed down] SAY THANK YOU. 310 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:31,100 IT'S A PRETTY BIG LETDOWN, I'LL ADMIT. 311 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:33,600 UH... 312 00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,973 [applause] 313 00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:43,867 - DID WE REALLY GIVE BRANDON A WAVERUNNER? 314 00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:46,267 WELL, LISTEN TO MY ASSISTANT'S VOICE MAIL. 315 00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:49,067 - PLAY YOUR SAVED MESSAGES, PRESS 8. 316 00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:51,727 [beep] - UM, HEY, RACHEL. 317 00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:55,073 IT'S BRANDON AGAIN. THE N64 KID. 318 00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,867 IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS NOW 319 00:12:56,867 --> 00:12:59,427 AND I STILL HAVEN'T RECEIVED THAT WAVERUNNER. 320 00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:04,073 UH, GIVE ME A CALL BACK. MY NUMBER IS 561-[bleep]-68. 321 00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:06,767 UH, OKAY. THANKS. BYE. 322 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,627 - HEY, BRANDON, PLEASE STOP CALLING. 323 00:13:08,633 --> 00:13:10,733 TECHNICALLY, THAT IS HARASSMENT. 324 00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,733 AND, NO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING A WAVERUNNER. 325 00:13:12,733 --> 00:13:14,403 YOU FORGOT TO SAY THANK YOU. 326 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,470 THOSE WERE THE RULES, PLAIN AND SIMPLE. 327 00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:19,067 BESIDES, WAVERUNNERS ARE DANGEROUS. 328 00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:21,327 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE GROSSEST THING 329 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,873 YOU'VE EVER SEEN ON TELEVISION. 330 00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:25,397 BUT BEFORE WE GO, IT'S TIME FOR THE PRANK OF THE WEEK, 331 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,730 AND THIS IS A HALLOWEEN CLASSIC. 332 00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:29,303 - ARE YOU GOING TRICK-OR-TREATING? 333 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:31,370 - NO, PROBABLY-- - RARGH! 334 00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:42,803 - UH, JUST ONE MORE THING. WHAT DID YOU GUYS WANT? 335 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,500 - UM, ONE, TWO, THREE. 336 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,130 men: FIRE IN THE HOLE! - FIRE IN THE-- 337 00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:48,903 [audience chuckles] 338 00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:53,200 - LIKE HER $7-AN-HOUR JOB ISN'T PUNISHMENT ENOUGH. 339 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,070 THAT WAS THE "FIRE IN THE HOLE" PRANK. 340 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,897 PRANK, BEING A DICK. IT'S A GRAY AREA ONLINE. 341 00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,470 BASICALLY, IT'S WHEN PEOPLE GO TO A DRIVE-THRU RESTAURANT, 342 00:14:00,467 --> 00:14:01,867 AND AS SOON AS THEY GET THEIR ORDER, 343 00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:03,727 THEY TOSS IT BACK IN THE WINDOW AND SCREAM, 344 00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:05,073 "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" 345 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,367 THEY'RE PRETTY POPULAR. 346 00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:08,327 SO I DECIDED TO SEE IF I COULD FIND OTHER PLACES 347 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:09,903 TO DO "FIRE IN THE HOLE." 348 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:16,297 FIRE IN THE HOLE! 349 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:23,170 FIRE IN THE HOLE! 350 00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:26,503 FIRE IN THE HOLE! 351 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,073 - ALL RIGHT, SIR, YOU HAVE A NICE DAY 352 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,297 AND DRIVE SAFE. 353 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:34,100 - THANK YOU. FIRE IN THE HOLE! 354 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:36,070 FIRE IN THE HOLE. 355 00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,927 FIRE IN THE HOLE. 356 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,070 KEEP IT CLOSE. 357 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,070 FIRE IN THE HOLE! 358 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,500 FIRE IN THE HOLE. 359 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,497 OH, MAN, FOR THROWING THAT TICKET IN THE COP'S FACE, 360 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,070 I GOT A MANDATORY COURT APPEARANCE IN POUND TOWN. 361 00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:13,097 [audience laughs] 362 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,330 'CAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE A STRIPPER. 363 00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:18,333 POUND TOWN. 364 00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,533 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET SERIOUS FOR A SECOND. 365 00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:23,433 ZIT POPPING HAS BEEN A TREND ON GOOGLE. 366 00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:25,833 IT'S GOTTEN SO POPULAR THAT TYRA BANKS 367 00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,603 TOOK SOME TIME OFF FROM BEING UNTALENTED 368 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,870 TO DISCUSS IT ON HER SHOW. 369 00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:32,067 WELL, THAT INSPIRED ME TO TAKE SOME ACTION. 370 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,727 IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GUYS HAD A GLIMPSE 371 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,073 OF ALL THE HORRIBLE [bleep] WE HAVE TO SIFT THROUGH 372 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,327 TO FIND FUNNY INTERNET VIDEOS. 373 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,403 SO GET YOUR BARF BAGS READY. 374 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,300 YOUR REACTIONS ARE ABOUT TO FILMED 375 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:45,370 WATCHING A SEGMENT CALLED "GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" 376 00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:46,667 [audience chucking] 377 00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:47,867 ALL RIGHT. 378 00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:50,097 HERE'S A DUDE WITH A CYST ON HIS BACK 379 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,630 AND A CHICK HOVERING OVER HIM WITH AN X-ACTO KNIFE 380 00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:54,273 AND BAND-AIDS ON HER FINGERS. 381 00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:57,927 SO I ASSUME SHE'S A LICENSED DERMATOLOGIST. 382 00:15:57,933 --> 00:16:00,103 CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 383 00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:05,227 - OH! AAH! 384 00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:06,573 [audience groaning] 385 00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:09,167 OH, MY GOD! 386 00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:10,827 OH...MY... 387 00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:12,573 - SO IF YOU GUESSED 388 00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:14,767 SHE WOULD USE A KNIFE TO SLICE AN ESCAPE ROUTE 389 00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:16,167 FOR ALL THE SHOULDER CHEESE, 390 00:16:16,167 --> 00:16:18,127 YOU'RE OFF TO A GOOD START. 391 00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:20,233 CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 392 00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:22,473 - IT'S THE WORST SMELL I THINK I'VE EVER SMELLED 393 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:24,097 IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 394 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,970 audience: OH! 395 00:16:26,967 --> 00:16:29,197 - OH! UGH! 396 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,070 - YES, THAT'S RIGHT. 397 00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:33,527 ANOTHER TABLESPOON OF PUS. 398 00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:34,973 AND IF YOU GUESSED THAT THE SMELL 399 00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:37,097 WOULD BE RANCID ENOUGH TO ALMOST MAKE HER PUKE 400 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,600 ON HIS BACK, GOOD WORK! 401 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,100 GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. 402 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,400 - OH, MY GOD! [audience groans] 403 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,130 - YEAH, A LOT MORE PUS. 404 00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,503 THE REAL THING YOU SHOULD BE WONDERING IS 405 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,400 HOW THE HELL THEY LET ME PUT THIS ON TELEVISION. 406 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,100 - OH! - THERE'S MORE COMING OUT. 407 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,470 - YOU WANT TO GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 408 00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:55,367 NO? TOO BAD. 409 00:16:55,367 --> 00:16:57,197 - UGH! 410 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,570 - YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! 411 00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:02,897 YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! IT'S LIKE A BRAIN! 412 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,330 - OH! 413 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:06,073 YOU KNOW HOW IT'S FUN TO LOOK AT CLOUDS 414 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,497 AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SHAPES YOU SEE IN THEM? 415 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:11,530 I LIKE TO PLAY THAT WITH THIS GUY'S PUS. 416 00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:13,333 SHE SEES A BRAIN. 417 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,233 I SEE A BABY ARMADILLO. 418 00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:16,773 AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 419 00:17:16,767 --> 00:17:18,067 ALSO, MAYBE A PAPER TOWEL 420 00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:19,367 ISN'T THE BEST THING TO USE HERE. 421 00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:22,127 INSTEAD, I'D RECOMMEND A SHAMWOW. 422 00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:25,673 NOW STOP DRY HEAVING AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. 423 00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:28,667 - OH, IT SMELLS SO BAD. 424 00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:30,797 GOD, I WISH I WOULD'VE BOUGHT GLOVES. 425 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,670 audience: OH! 426 00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:36,697 - TALK ABOUT YOUR SIXTH SENSE STYLE TWIST ENDING. 427 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:39,930 WHO COULD'VE POSSIBLY FORESEEN THAT STILL MORE PUS AND BLOOD 428 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:43,273 WOULD COME OUT OF THERE LIKE SOFT SERVE FROYO. 429 00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:46,497 BUT THAT'S HOW WE PLAY "GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" 430 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,830 AND TODAY, I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY, WE ALL LOST. 431 00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,273 [applause and laughter] 432 00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:53,467 OKAY, GUYS, IF YOU HAVE A GIANT CYST, 433 00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:56,227 SEND 'EM TO COMEDY CENTRAL-- NO, I'M KIDDING. 434 00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,833 IF YOU HAVE A GIANT CYST, GO SEE A DOCTOR. 435 00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:02,633 IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY VIDEO, GO TO COMEDYCENTRAL/TOSH.0 436 00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:03,933 AND UPLOAD IT FOR A CHANCE 437 00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:05,603 TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO OF THE WEEK. 438 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,070 THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS GENIUS CAMP. 439 00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:09,527 - WHOA, WHOA. YOU HEAR THAT? 440 00:18:09,533 --> 00:18:11,273 - SOUNDS LIKE A VOICE. 441 00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:12,927 - YOU CAMPING IN THERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 442 00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:14,573 - YEAH. - YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE... 443 00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:15,767 IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU. 444 00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,167 - HEY, WHERE'S YOUR RAIN COVER? 445 00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:18,367 - YEAH, THAT DOES SOUND LIKE ME. 446 00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:19,397 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE THE TENT? 447 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,870 - YO, IS THAT ME? 448 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,267 - YEAH, IT'S ME. 449 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,067 - YO, ME, HEY, WHAT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR? 450 00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,627 - BLUE. - OH, MAN, THAT IS ME. 451 00:18:27,633 --> 00:18:28,833 - OH, MAN, THIS IS WEIRD. 452 00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,173 - THAT'S PRETTY WEIRD. 453 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:32,727 - NOT THAT WEIRD. 454 00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:35,403 - THANKS, GUYS. 455 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,630 AND NOW THE MOST UNFORTUNATE DOMAIN NAME OF THE WEEK. 456 00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:41,073 THIS TIME, OUR WINNER IS AN INDUSTRIAL WEB SITE 457 00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:42,667 FOR AN OIL EXTRACTING COMPANY, 458 00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,427 AND THEIR ADDRESS IS BJSERVICES.COM. 459 00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:47,903 [audience laughs] ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN. 460 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:51,730 THE COMPANY WAS FOUNDED BY A GUY NAMED BYRON JACKSON--B.J. 461 00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:53,533 AND IF YOU CAN BEAT HIS PRICES, 462 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,603 HE'LL GO DOWN ON YOU. 463 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,370 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE GRAHAM NORTON EFFECT. 464 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:09,430 [applause] 465 00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:11,803 - HEY, GUYS, WELCOME BACK. 466 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,130 I WAS JUST IN POUND TOWN. 467 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:16,533 [laughter] 468 00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:20,333 ALL RIGHT, SPEAKING OF GAY, ROLLER-BLADING... 469 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,673 IS A LOT LIKE HOCKEY. 470 00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,167 IT'S ONLY INTERESTING TO WATCH WHEN SOMEBODY GETS HURTS. 471 00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,497 SO WITH THAT IN MIND, 472 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,630 THIS NEXT CLIP SHOULD BE REALLY FASCINATING. 473 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,830 - OH! [audience groans] 474 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:48,067 [audience groans] 475 00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:52,533 [woman shrieks] 476 00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:01,530 [audience groaning] 477 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,533 [laughter] 478 00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:05,773 - [bleep]! 479 00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:08,497 [laughter continues] 480 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,370 - KNOCK IT OFF, YOU GIRL. 481 00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:12,367 THE OTHER GUY FELL OFF A CHURCH. 482 00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:15,167 [audience laughing] 483 00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:16,627 BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK 484 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,473 WHEN THE TRAMPLED CHEERLEADER GETS A WEB REDEMPTION. 485 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,897 [crowd cheering] 486 00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:23,300 [audience groans] 487 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:26,600 - [laughing] SHE DIED! 488 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,870 NO. THAT'S JUST POOR TACKLING. 489 00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:30,427 REMEMBER TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER 490 00:20:30,433 --> 00:20:32,373 SO THAT WE CAN LIVE CHAT DURING THE SHOW. 491 00:20:32,367 --> 00:20:34,097 AND MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT MY TOUR SCHEDULE 492 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,930 TO SEE WHEN I'LL BE PERFORMING NEAR YOUR HOUSE. 493 00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:38,203 AND GO TO OUR WEB SITE TO SEE EXTENDED INTERVIEWS 494 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,500 FROM OUR WEB REDEMPTIONS. 495 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,800 AND ALSO TAKE MY SCREAMING HEAD 496 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,670 AND PUT IT IN INAPPROPRIATE PLACES. 497 00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:47,097 YEAH. HAPPY HALLOWEEN. I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 498 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,030 [cheers and applause] 499 00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,600 - I'M GONNA SHOW YOU IT TRULY IS BETTER TO GIVE 500 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,400 THAN TO RECEIVE. 501 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,700 ESPECIALLY IN PRISON. 502 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:05,870 I WOULD CERTAINLY RATHER GIVE. 503 00:21:05,867 --> 00:21:07,597 I THINK SO. 504 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,800 PART OF ME THINKS THAT I WOULDN'T IN PRISON 505 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,070 JUST BECAUSE OF THE FACT 506 00:21:11,067 --> 00:21:13,667 THAT I WOULD MENTALLY HAVE TO GET AROUSED 507 00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:15,497 FOR THAT SITUATION, 508 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,570 WHERE THE OTHER ONE, I CAN JUST CRY. 509 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,267 - AND TAKE IT. - RIGHT. 510 00:21:19,267 --> 00:21:20,597 - YEAH. 511 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,600 - MAYBE IT IS BETTER TO RECEIVE IN PRISON. 512 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,430 - I THINK IT'D BE OVER FASTER. 513 00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:27,073 - YOU DON'T KNOW ME. - OH. 36490

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