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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:42,770 [TURKEY SOUNDS] [CLAPPING] 2 00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:44,797 >> STAND DOWN TURKEYS. 3 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:45,630 STAND DOWN. 4 00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:50,833 WELCOME TO TOSH.0. 5 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:54,273 >> TODAY WE HAVE TOMMY CHONG IN 6 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:57,727 THE WEED VERSE SALVIA RACE. 7 00:00:57,733 --> 00:01:00,533 THE DIZZY DUNK GUY GETS A WEB 8 00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:02,903 RAW SEM SHUN, AND I LAY DOWN THE 9 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:05,070 ULTIMATE POPCORN CHALLENGE. 10 00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:05,927 ALL RIGHT TURKEYS. 11 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,233 AFTER THIS SPEECH THE TURKEYS 12 00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:10,673 IMMEDIATELY INVADED POLAND. 13 00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:12,467 THEY WERE TRYING TO CREATE A 14 00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:13,727 MASTER TURKEY RACE. 15 00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:17,403 A TURKEY WITH ALL WHITE MEAT. 16 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,900 THAT SOUNDS DELICIOUS. 17 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:21,330 I'VE ACTUALLY PLAYED THERE. 18 00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:23,773 IT'S A NICE VENUE. 19 00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:34,627 HOW YOU TURKEYS DOING TONIGHT. 20 00:01:34,633 --> 00:01:36,573 AM I RIGHT? 21 00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:38,927 >> HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WITH A 22 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:41,603 LOT OF DARK MEAT WALK LIKE THIS, 23 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,830 AND TURKEYS WITH WHITE MEAT WALK 24 00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:44,633 LIKE THIS. 25 00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:48,273 YOU GUYS ARE GOBBING THIS UP. 26 00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:50,727 LAST WEEK I SAW A TURKEY IN A 27 00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:56,303 SUPERMARKET SO FAR PAST ITS EX 28 00:01:56,300 --> 00:02:00,100 OPERATION DATE ASHTIN KUTCHER 29 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:07,100 MARRIED HER. 30 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:10,430 >> I ALWAYS HAVE TO WEAR BLUE. 31 00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:11,573 I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE 32 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:12,897 THE SHOW. 33 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:13,630 CAN SOMEBODY TO CHECK IF MY GIMP 34 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,173 IS DOING MY LAUNDRY? 35 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,297 GOOD. 36 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:18,770 HE'S NOT MUCH OF A TALKER. 37 00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:20,067 TAKE A LOOK. 38 00:02:20,067 --> 00:02:22,667 I'M WRINKLE FREE. 39 00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:27,097 BY THE WAY OUR SAFE BOARD IS 40 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,430 FEBREE 41 00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:29,803 FEBREEZE. 42 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,530 >> YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART 43 00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:31,203 ABOUT HAVING A ROOMMATE IS. 44 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:41,070 THEY USE ALL YOUR PEANUT BUTTER. 45 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,797 JUDGE GROSS. 46 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,370 >> IT LOOKS LIKE MR. PEANUT 47 00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:46,527 NUTTED ON HIS FACE. 48 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,503 I LIKE IT WITH CELERY. 49 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,370 >> MAYBE HE HAD A LOT OF GUM IN 50 00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:52,297 HIS HAIR. 51 00:02:52,300 --> 00:03:06,930 WHAT'S NEXT. 52 00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:07,673 >> GOAL! 53 00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:07,967 GOAL! 54 00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:08,297 GOAL! 55 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,200 GOAL! 56 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,200 GOAL, GOAL, GOAL, GOAL! 57 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:11,830 GOAL! 58 00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:19,473 GOAL! 59 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:20,727 GOAL! 60 00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:21,903 >> I'M SORRY. 61 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:31,800 YOU WANT TO FEEL BAD FOR A GUY 62 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,530 IN A WIFE BEATER CAPRI PANTS 63 00:03:32,533 --> 00:03:33,173 THAT WAS WHIPPING A HORSE. 64 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:33,897 TONIGHT YOU'RE ALL IN FOR A REAL 65 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:34,200 TREAT. 66 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:41,730 IT'S TIME TO PLAY IS IT GAY? 67 00:03:41,733 --> 00:03:42,673 >> IS IT GAY? 68 00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:44,227 >> NO. 69 00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,403 HE IS A HERO. 70 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,170 AND THIS IS WHAT HE HAS TO DO TO 71 00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:48,097 KEEP US SAFE. 72 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:52,400 NEXT. 73 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,830 IS IT GAY? 74 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,573 NO. 75 00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:56,627 THIS GAME IS GETTING EASIER AND 76 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,603 EASIER. 77 00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,230 WHAT IF THEY'RE BROTHERS. 78 00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:00,703 YOU DON'T KNOW. 79 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,070 >> IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY 80 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:17,167 TIME ME AND MY BROTHER TONGUE 81 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:17,897 KISSED, IN THE MORNING, HE WOULD 82 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:18,600 COME DOWN FROM HIS BUNK BED, 83 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,130 MORNING MISSED YOU. 84 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:19,533 WHAT'S NEXT. 85 00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:21,103 >> THAT'S JAKE GYLLANHALL 86 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,670 WEARING A WHITE STEED. 87 00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:26,227 WEARING A VERY DEEP V. 88 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:32,503 NOTHING GAY ABOUT THAT. 89 00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,470 >> IS IT GAY? 90 00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:38,197 >> NO. 91 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,530 THIS IS NOT GAY. 92 00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:41,403 IT'S MERELY ADULT FILM STARS 93 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:45,500 ACTING IN A MOVIE. 94 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:48,400 WHAT IF THIS MOVIE HAD STARRED 95 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,330 KEVIN SPACEY. 96 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,273 MORGAN FREEMAN. 97 00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:53,127 TYLER PERRY. 98 00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:56,873 YOU WOULDN'T THINK THEY'RE GAY. 99 00:04:56,867 --> 00:04:58,067 THEY HAVE INCREDIBLE RANGE. 100 00:04:58,067 --> 00:04:58,797 >> THEY'RE GOING TO BE GETTING 101 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,170 AWARDS. 102 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:00,967 THIS GAME IS STUPID. 103 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:11,427 I QUIT. 104 00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:16,803 >> WHOA! 105 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,070 NOW, THAT WAS GAY. 106 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:20,797 >> STOP LAUGHING HE COULD HAVE 107 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:25,370 DISLOCATED -- 108 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,567 >> YOU COMBINE IT WITH GUT -- 109 00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:29,297 >> LET'S SEE WHO LOST THE TOUR 110 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:29,930 DE FRANCE IN THIS WEEK'S 111 00:05:29,933 --> 00:05:35,933 BREAKDOWN. 112 00:05:35,933 --> 00:05:37,473 [CLAPPING] 113 00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:48,097 >> BEFORE WE PLAY IT NOTICE THE 114 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:48,770 CHILD SIZE HELMET AND THE 115 00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:49,467 LAVENDAR T-SHIRT LIP BRACELET. 116 00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:49,897 >> ALL RIGHT. 117 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,430 LET'S THE DOUBLE XL GAMES BEGIN. 118 00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:54,233 REMEMBER WHAT SCIENCE TELLS AN 119 00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:56,373 OBJECT IN MOTION TENDS TO STAY 120 00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:57,627 IN MOTION. 121 00:05:57,633 --> 00:06:00,633 THAT'S ESPECIALLY TRUE FOR FAT 122 00:06:00,633 --> 00:06:01,503 OBJEC 123 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:01,830 OBJECTS. 124 00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:02,573 HE HITS THE MOLEHILL AND HE IS 125 00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:02,927 UP THERE. 126 00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:03,673 AT THIS POINT HE'S THINKING I'M 127 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:04,397 NOT GOING TO LIE THIS IS GOING 128 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:04,700 WELL. 129 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:05,700 IF THERE'S ENOUGH TIME IN THE 130 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:11,700 AIR I MAY TRY FOR A TAIL WHIP OR 131 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:12,430 A SUPERMAN SEAT GRAB OR A RODEO 132 00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:17,073 FLIP. 133 00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:17,667 AND BACK DOWN TO EARTH. 134 00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:18,397 TECHNICALLY HIS BACK WHEEL NEVER 135 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,270 LEFT THE GROUND. 136 00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:25,467 THAT'S NOT A JUMP. 137 00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,067 IT'S A WHEELY IN MY 138 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:26,597 NEIGHBORHOOD. 139 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,170 HE COMPLETELY EATS. 140 00:06:27,167 --> 00:06:29,667 DIRT HAS ZERO CARBS. 141 00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:30,397 >> HARD TO TELL EXACTLY WHAT HE 142 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,530 HEARD. 143 00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:34,373 HE'S CLUTCHING EVERYTHING. 144 00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:35,097 FIVE SECONDS AGO HE WAS ABOUT TO 145 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:43,400 KISS THE SUN. 146 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,600 NOW HE'S RDSING AROUND IN POISON 147 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,570 IVY. 148 00:06:45,567 --> 00:06:46,267 >> THOSE MAN BOOTS DOUBLE HIS 149 00:06:46,267 --> 00:06:51,267 AIR BAGS AND HIS BUDDY KEEPS THE 150 00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:52,067 CAMERA THROUGH THE PAIN AND FOR 151 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:52,797 THAT WE THANK YOU. 152 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,130 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE 153 00:06:55,133 --> 00:07:03,273 DIZZY DUNK GUY WEB RAW SEM SHUN. 154 00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:07,167 >> HOT POCKETS. 155 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:10,097 SIMILAR TERMS. 156 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:11,230 MEXICAN WAFFLES. 157 00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:27,333 TRUNK TACO. 158 00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:28,073 >> IT'S SLIPPERY. 159 00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:30,167 THAT'S WHAT I LIKE. 160 00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:31,067 GO AROUND THE BACK. 161 00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:33,267 1, 2, 3. 162 00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:36,697 ON THE GROUND. 163 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:38,770 OH MY GOD! 164 00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:51,497 [LAUGHING] 165 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,800 >> HEY. 166 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,700 BEATS WATCHING A WNBA GAME. 167 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:57,430 >> DID YOU REALLY NEED TO MAKE 168 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,733 THE DUNK HARDER? 169 00:07:58,733 --> 00:08:00,073 WHEN YOU'RE WHITE AND ON THE 170 00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:00,797 BASKETBALL COURT YOU'RE ALREADY 171 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,570 HANDICAPPED. 172 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,927 A LESSON FOR ALL THE KIDS AT 173 00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:07,233 HOME. 174 00:08:07,233 --> 00:08:08,303 PABST BLUE-RIBBON IS NOT A 175 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:11,070 ATHLETIC ENHANCER. 176 00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:14,097 SUBSTANCE ABUSE HAS NO PLACE IN 177 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:17,600 THEATRE ICKS UNLESS YOU'RE 178 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,170 AWESOME. 179 00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:20,267 YOU EVER WATCH A COMPETITION 180 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,597 THAT'S NOT DOMINATED BY JUNKIES. 181 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,330 ATHLETES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MEAT 182 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:23,633 HEADS. 183 00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,933 DON'T TAKE THE FUN OUT OF THE 184 00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:27,533 GAME BY BEING A GOODIE 2 SHOES. 185 00:08:27,533 --> 00:08:31,173 YOU WANT TO IMPRESS ME. 186 00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:34,267 CHASE SOME CHEERLEADER TAIL 187 00:08:34,267 --> 00:08:43,497 BEFORE GETTING IN THE RUNNING 188 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:43,800 BACK. 189 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:44,500 THAT'S THE WHITE RUNNING BACK. 190 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,200 >> DRINKING IS A WAY TO BOND 191 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:45,930 WITH YOUR TEAMMATES AND MINGLE 192 00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:46,673 WITH THE FANS AND TRY TO FORGET 193 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:47,327 THE FACT YOU'RE A COMPLETE 194 00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:57,833 DISAPPOINTMENT. 195 00:08:57,833 --> 00:08:58,573 THE WORLD OF SPORTS IS A HAVEN 196 00:08:58,567 --> 00:08:59,167 FOR DRUG TAKING MORONS. 197 00:08:59,167 --> 00:08:59,827 >> I SAY FINE YOU CAN'T BE 198 00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:00,633 EXPECTED TO THROW DOWN ONE DOWN 199 00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:01,203 ON THE FIRST ATTEMPT. 200 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,200 GREATNESS TAKES PRACTICE. 201 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,370 WE'VE BROUGHT HIM BACK AGAIN TO 202 00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:04,267 TRY TO DRINK AND DRIVE THE LANE 203 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:12,797 IN THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION. 204 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:13,470 >> HOW IS IT GOING, PAUL? 205 00:09:13,467 --> 00:09:14,697 >> GOOD. 206 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:18,470 >> SO GLAD TO MEET YOU. 207 00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:22,467 GLAD TO MEET YOU TOO. 208 00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:24,727 >> TELL ME ABOUT THAT DUNK. 209 00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:25,873 >> BASICALLY IT WAS US GUYS 210 00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:27,467 CHALLENGING EACH OTHER IN A 211 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,067 CONTEST. 212 00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:29,727 >> YOU DOWNED A BEER. 213 00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:30,473 WHAT WAS YOUR EXACT MENTAL 214 00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:32,897 STATE. 215 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:37,070 >> WE HAD BEEN DOING THE DUNK 216 00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:39,067 CONTEST ALL DAY. 217 00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:41,297 THIS WAS THE LAST ONE. 218 00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:42,870 AND THIS WAS MY GRAND ATTEMPT. 219 00:09:42,867 --> 00:09:47,497 MY GOAL IS TO CHUG THIS BEER, DO 220 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,430 A BACK FLIP, AND DO A 360 SPIN. 221 00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:51,173 AND THE SPINNING AND THE 222 00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:52,727 SPINNI 223 00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:53,103 SPINNING. 224 00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:53,800 >> BY THE WAY YOU ALMOST MADE 225 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,170 THE SHOT. 226 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:54,527 >> I KNOW. 227 00:09:54,533 --> 00:09:55,073 IT ALMOST WENT IN. 228 00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,967 IT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. 229 00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:57,667 >> I DID WIN THE DUNK CONTEST. 230 00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:59,697 >> WITH THAT ONE. 231 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,700 >> I HAD DONE ONE EARLIER WHERE 232 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:01,370 I DUNKED OFF THE HOOD OF A 233 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,767 MOVING CAR. 234 00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:05,727 I HAD A GOOD LEAD. 235 00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:06,473 I WANTED TO NAIL IT HOME WITH A 236 00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:07,297 STRONG DUNK THAT I DIDN'T THINK 237 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,000 ANY OF MY JEWISH FRIENDS THAT 238 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,770 ARE 5'8" COULD DO. 239 00:10:09,767 --> 00:10:11,427 I LIKE THE CAR ONE. 240 00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:14,303 KIDS IF YOU CAN BEAT THAT PLEASE 241 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,630 SEND US YOUR TAPE. 242 00:10:16,633 --> 00:10:17,333 >> HOW MANY SPINS DID YOU DO. 243 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:18,873 >> 10 SPINS. 244 00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:24,767 I KIND OF LOST COUNT. 245 00:10:24,767 --> 00:10:27,067 >> DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA. 246 00:10:27,067 --> 00:10:27,767 YOU DID LITTER THAT BEER CAN, 247 00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:28,497 AND THEN YOU FELL INTO THE TRASH 248 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,630 CAN. 249 00:10:29,633 --> 00:10:31,873 DO YOU SEE THAT? 250 00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:35,167 >> QUICK ACTING KARMA. 251 00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:35,967 >> VERY QUICK ACTING. 252 00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:37,827 >> WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE 253 00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:39,173 BASKETBALL PLAYER OF ALL-TIME. 254 00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:39,827 >> I WAS A BIG FAN OF DAVID 255 00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:41,073 ROBINSON. 256 00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:43,497 >> THE ADMIRAL. 257 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:44,630 >> YEAH. 258 00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:48,933 >> I HATED FLAT TOPS. 259 00:10:48,933 --> 00:10:51,303 THAT'S WHY I HATED STVE HARVEY. 260 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:55,470 WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE DRUNK OF 261 00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:56,397 ALL-TI 262 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:56,770 ALL-TIME. 263 00:10:56,767 --> 00:10:57,327 >> NORM FROM CHEERS. 264 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,973 >> MINE IS MY DAD. 265 00:10:58,967 --> 00:10:59,667 >> HOW HAS THIS CHANGED YOUR 266 00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:00,067 LIFE? 267 00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,367 >> I DON'T DO DIZZY DUNK SPINS 268 00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:06,397 ANYMORE. 269 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,600 DO YOU THINK KOBE BRYANT RAPED 270 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,330 THAT CHICK? 271 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:12,103 >> UM? 272 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:17,500 >> IT'S IMPRESSIVE, ISN'T IT? 273 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,130 >> YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH -- 274 00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:18,833 >> LET ME MAKE SURE THIS IS 275 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:26,603 OKAY. 276 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,100 >> UH-OH. 277 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,300 THAT WAS A MISTAKE. 278 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:37,730 >> HERE WE GO. 279 00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:43,273 THAT WAS GOOD. 280 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:44,067 SO YOU CAN SPIN WITHOUT FALLING. 281 00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:44,697 YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE ON YOUR 282 00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:45,070 GAME. 283 00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:45,727 ONCE YOU GET A FEW BEERS IN YOU 284 00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:51,373 -- 285 00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:52,067 >> I GUESS THAT WOULD BE MORE 286 00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:52,427 REALISTIC. 287 00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:53,133 >> YOU'VE GOT YOUR BEER, AND 288 00:11:53,133 --> 00:11:54,773 YOUR BAT. 289 00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:56,967 THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW ARE YOU 290 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,427 READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT? 291 00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:01,903 >> I'M READY. 292 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:13,500 LET'S CHUG. 293 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:19,300 >> GOOD JOB. 294 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:19,930 GOOD JOB. 295 00:12:19,933 --> 00:12:21,203 10 ROTATIONS. 296 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:21,870 COME ON, KEEP THE HEAD DOWN. 297 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:22,597 >> I'LL BE HONEST I HAVEN'T BEEN 298 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:22,970 COUNTING. 299 00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:23,267 OKAY. 300 00:12:23,267 --> 00:12:23,767 GET ON THE BOARD. 301 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:30,227 COME ON. 302 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:30,573 PERFECT. 303 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:31,367 LET'S GO. 304 00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:33,467 YOU GOT TO GO FOR TWO. 305 00:12:33,467 --> 00:12:34,497 >> ARE YOU IN? 306 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:38,070 >> YES. 307 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:39,067 8 SECONDS ON THE BALL. 308 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:41,597 >> YEAH. 309 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,370 RIDE THAT BULL. 310 00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:44,597 ALL RIGHT. 311 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,100 PAUL COME ON, THIS WAY. 312 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,070 LET'S GO LET'S GO! 313 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:50,597 COME ON. 314 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,330 PAUL, WATCH OUT FOR THE PEOPLE 315 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:54,273 PLAYING JENGA. 316 00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:59,797 WATCH OUT FOR MY GRANDMA'S URN. 317 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:13,900 >> GO THIS WAY. 318 00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:14,800 AND I FORGOT TO MENTION YOU HAVE 319 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:19,900 TO DUNK OVER DENNIS RODMAN. 320 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,230 >> MY LITTLE BROTHER. 321 00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:23,633 >> THANK YOU, DENNIS. 322 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:26,133 >> I APPRECIATE IT. 323 00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:27,273 THAT'S COOL. 324 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:30,697 >> IT WAS ALL BALLS. 325 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:31,730 FOR $5,000 DENNIS RODMAN WILL 326 00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:32,473 COME TO YOUR PLACE FOR ABOUT 4 327 00:13:32,467 --> 00:13:35,097 MINUTES. 328 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:35,830 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH TOMMY 329 00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:39,133 CHONG. 330 00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:40,473 [CLAPPING.] 331 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:43,830 >> NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE PRANK 332 00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:49,903 OF THE WEEK. 333 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:54,970 >> GET OUT. 334 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:55,267 WHAT? 335 00:13:55,267 --> 00:14:01,497 >> I DON'T CARE. 336 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,170 >> I DON'T KNOW, LIKE, LIKE 337 00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:11,497 CHILI SAUCE. 338 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:27,070 [BLEEP] 339 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,167 >> THAT WAS THE PRANK OF THE 340 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:28,867 WEEK BROUGHT TO YOU BY BURGER 341 00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:29,967 KING. 342 00:14:29,967 --> 00:14:39,527 HAVE IT YOUR WAY, LATE AT NIGHT. 343 00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:41,273 THIS IS THE POPCORN CATCHER. 344 00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:42,527 * 345 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:42,873 * 346 00:14:42,867 --> 00:15:03,167 [LAUGHING] 347 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:03,667 * 348 00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:30,067 * 349 00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:33,297 >> SO IMPRESSIVE. 350 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,070 MY ORIGINAL IDEA WAS TRYING TO 351 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:34,897 USE CADBURY CREAM EGGS. 352 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:35,930 BUT GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND 353 00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:39,073 THOSE IN THE SUMMER. 354 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:42,167 YOU CAN STOCK UP IN THE SPRING. 355 00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:42,897 IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER 356 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,070 SEND IT TO OUR WEBSITE. 357 00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,797 >> NOW LIVE VIA WEB CAM IS TOMMY 358 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:52,330 CHONG. 359 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,303 DOING FINE. 360 00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:54,800 HOW ARE YOU? 361 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,200 >> FINE. 362 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,130 I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT AWAY BUT 363 00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:58,273 I NEED YOU TO TELL THE KIDS AT 364 00:15:58,267 --> 00:16:02,667 HOME THEY SHOULDN'T DO DRUGS. 365 00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:07,667 >> TELL THEM WHAT? 366 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,397 >> TELL THEM NOT TO DO DRUGS. 367 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:08,730 >> WHY? 368 00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:13,133 >> IT'S A LEGAL THING. 369 00:16:13,133 --> 00:16:13,973 >> LISTEN KIDS, IF YOU WANT TO 370 00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,567 DO DRUGS REPLACE THEM. 371 00:16:15,567 --> 00:16:18,067 >> NO. 372 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:18,797 WHAT TOMMY IS TRYING TO SAY IS 373 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,400 DON'T DO DRUGS. 374 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:25,370 ENJOY THE VIDEO. 375 00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:26,127 >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE 376 00:16:26,133 --> 00:16:26,873 BATTLE YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING 377 00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:28,897 FOR. 378 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:36,370 WEED VERSUS SALVIA. 379 00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:37,567 TODAY WE HAVE THE PRINCE OF THE 380 00:16:37,567 --> 00:16:38,297 NEW SCHOOL, SALVIA ERIC VERSUS 381 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,570 TOMMY CHONG. 382 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,267 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TAKE A 383 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,767 TOKE. 384 00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:46,427 RUN THROUGH THE TIRES. 385 00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:49,403 THE FIRST ONE THROUGH BUYS A 386 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,870 LUNCH. 387 00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:56,527 >> ON YOUR MARK, GET SET. 388 00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:57,673 [GUNSHOT] 389 00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,127 * 390 00:16:59,133 --> 00:17:11,073 * 391 00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:15,367 * 392 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:31,667 * 393 00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:33,267 [LAUGHING] 394 00:17:33,267 --> 00:17:45,797 [BLEEP] 395 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,530 >> OH. 396 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:47,403 [CLAPPING] 397 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,530 >> DUDE! 398 00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:50,233 THIS IS A GOOD VISUAL AID WHY 399 00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:50,873 YOU SHOULD NEVER DO DRUGS. 400 00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:53,727 RIGHT HERE. 401 00:17:53,733 --> 00:17:54,403 >> MR. HAT, I HAVE TO GO TO 402 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:54,800 SPACE TODAY. 403 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,670 >> I KNOW YOU DO. 404 00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,067 >> THANKS, TOMMY AND ERIC, AND 405 00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:06,767 DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR 406 00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:07,397 WEBSITE, 407 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,530 COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0. 408 00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:09,273 >> THIS WEEK'S VIDEO COMES FROM 409 00:18:09,267 --> 00:18:11,897 JOHN ALRICH. 410 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,700 * 411 00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:26,970 * 412 00:18:26,967 --> 00:18:34,167 >> HOW YOU DOING? 413 00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:35,227 >> THANKS, JOHN. 414 00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:35,933 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE. 415 00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:37,573 THAT'S MY BUSH. 416 00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:39,367 [CLAPPING] 417 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:53,600 >> WELCOME BACK. 418 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,530 LAST WEEK WE POSTED ON OUR 419 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:55,803 WEBSITE AN ORIGINAL PAINTING 420 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,070 THAT WAS CREATED FOR US, AND WE 421 00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:59,297 HAD YOU INTERPRET IT. 422 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,730 HERE'S SOME OF MY COMMENTS. 423 00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:04,573 PENSKE THINKS THAT THE PAINTING 424 00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:10,967 IS AN IMPRESSION ANIES 425 00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:12,067 PARTICULAR WORK. 426 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:12,597 TOGETHER DANIEL AND THE 427 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:13,370 PRESIDENT MUST TRAVEL SIDE FREE 428 00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:14,667 OF PRECONCEPTIONS DOWN THE 429 00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:17,297 STREAM OF IDEOLOGY. 430 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,330 DONNIE THINKS YOU AND OBAMA HAVE 431 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:21,673 BECOME GAY DINGOES. 432 00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:27,967 SO YOU MUST LEAVE THE U.S., AND 433 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,827 SAIL THE MARY, MARY. 434 00:19:30,833 --> 00:19:31,603 IT'S A VERY DIFFERENT VIEWPOINT. 435 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,700 NICK HOW MUCH I LIKE IT -- UNION 436 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:37,630 CORN. 437 00:19:37,633 --> 00:19:41,073 I DON'T CARE WHAT IT MEANS. 438 00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:43,667 IT TURNS ME ON. 439 00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:44,297 NATE, CHARLIE FOUND CANDY 440 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:50,070 MOUNTAIN. 441 00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:50,697 CHARLIE FOUND CANDY MOUNTAIN. 442 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:51,300 >> CHARLIE, FOUND CANDY 443 00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:55,070 MOUNTAIN. 444 00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,567 CHARLIE FOUND CANDY MOUNTAIN. 445 00:19:57,567 --> 00:19:58,297 IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 446 00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:02,230 HEAD OVER TO YOUR COMPUTER. 447 00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:02,973 >> HE DID ANOTHER PAINTING OF 448 00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:04,267 ME. 449 00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:05,997 THAT IS CURRENTLY AVAILABLE ON 450 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:17,870 eBAY. 451 00:20:17,867 --> 00:20:18,497 127 RIGHT NOW, WORTH NOW. 452 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,230 >> HERE'S OUR LAST VIDEO OF REH 453 00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:19,873 DOG. 454 00:20:19,867 --> 00:20:20,597 KEEP THEM COMING. 455 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,230 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 456 00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:29,003 WATCHING. 457 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,897 MAKE SURE YOU WATCH NEXT WEEK 458 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,630 WHEN WE GIVE THE SKATEBOARD GIRL 459 00:20:36,633 --> 00:20:43,433 A WEB REDEMPTION. 460 00:20:43,433 --> 00:20:46,673 YOU CAN DO IT! 461 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:47,097 >> DON'T FALL. 462 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:52,170 DON'T FALL. 463 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:52,897 >> YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO BUY 464 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:53,900 HER SHOES. 465 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:54,870 AND DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR 466 00:20:54,867 --> 00:21:05,067 WEBSITE. 467 00:21:05,067 --> 00:21:05,667 COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0 TO 468 00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:06,397 SUBMIT YOUR POPCORN CHALLENGES. 469 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:06,770 GOODNIGHT. 470 00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:16,197 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 471 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:16,930 BEFORE WE LEAVE I HAVE TO MAKE 472 00:21:16,933 --> 00:21:18,373 58 CONSECUTIVE 3-POINTERS. 473 00:21:18,367 --> 00:21:23,697 THAT'S JUST A LITTLE PART OF MY 474 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:23,970 OCD. 475 00:21:23,967 --> 00:21:25,367 IT'S GOING TO BE A WHILE. 476 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,297 MY RECORD IS 3. 477 00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:29,430 WE'RE GOING TO BE HERE ALL 478 00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:30,533 NIGHT. 479 00:21:30,533 --> 00:21:34,233 ONE. 480 00:21:34,233 --> 00:21:36,273 2. 481 00:21:36,267 --> 00:21:38,327 YES, I CALLED GLASS. 482 00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:40,973 GOT TO START OVER. 28736

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