Original subtitles

[ Sobbing ]

Woman: Rumspringa is an Amish tradition in which boys and girls

experiment with a new way of life

in order to gain perspective on their own.

They can choose to return to their old lives

or be banished forever.

Three busy Debras decided to steal this idea.

Get a room!

Ladies, tomorrow is Debspringa!

I forget, what's Debspringa?

Explain, and fast.

-It's annual. -Go on.

Debspringa is the one day a year where we take a break

from the rigors of our busy lifestyle.

I don't remember where I came up with the idea.

[ Sobbing continues in distance ]

The only way to appreciate all that we have is to leave

our lives and make a really, really big deal about it.

Let's see if we all come back tomorrow,

or maybe I'll never see you again.

[ Bell tolls ]

Together: Bye!

♪♪

♪♪

Christina Da Vinci checking in.

Welcome back.

You're in room...

one.

He's waiting for you.

This never happened.

♪♪

Man: Come on, door is open.

It's not, actually.

You just have to push really hard.

No, it's not a matter of strength.

You locked the door.

The door is locked.Relax, I'm coming.

Okay, don't tell me to relax.

Was that so hard?

Hey, you.

You, file that paperwork. You, file my taxes.

You, file your nails, ew!

Madam Secretary Karen Con Leche, what's your BMI?

I don't have time for this.

The vote on my big bill is this afternoon.

If Congresswoman Simpson wants to be

on the right side of her-story,

she'll vote with me and the women of Lemoncurd.

Also, my BMI is four.

This just in --

Secretary Karen Con Leche's BMI is 400.

She's huge![ School bell rings ]

Popsicle: Attention, Lemoncurd High, this is Principal Popsicle.

Today's football practice is being moved to my house. Yes!

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

Excuse me, could you point me

in the direction of electricity class?

How's this for your electricity class?

Ow!

That stings.

[ Laughter ]

The theme for this year's prom is lunch.

[ School bell rings ]

Aah![ Laughter ]

Whoa!

Ow! Ow, ow!What? No!

No, I'm kidding.

You know, I've been a lot of places,

and I've met a lot of people,

but no one removes their thumb the way you do.

I really missed you, Jason.

I've missed you, too.

You feel like home.

All we've got is today.

Let's make it count.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Are you okay?

You look like you just saw a ghost.

It was nothing --

two nothings, to be exact.

Let's just focus on us.

We are the only two people in the entire world.

♪♪

♪♪

You still drink your old usual --

whiskey milk, hold the whiskey?

I'm off the stuff.

I'll take an ice water, hold the ice.

♪♪

Mm.

Good year. Where did you get this?

Cut the crap, Con Leche.

I know why you're here.

You want my vote, and I'll save you some stinky breath.

The answer is no.Come on, Homra,

this is me you're talking to.

Remember the old days?Mnh-mnh.

We shared a bed in law school.

I sang you to sleep every night?

♪ Good night, little Homra

♪ You look tired today

♪ You can tell on your face, you look sleepy ♪

♪ You have dark circles under your eyes ♪

No, don't pull that. You don't control me anymore.

I fall asleep all by myself these days,

and I'll decide how I'm going to vote.

Well, just remember --

the women of Lemoncurd are counting on you,

myself included.

♪♪

In conclusion, these are the eyes, and this is the mouth.

Now, for our next lesson, I'll need a volunteer.

How about Gabigail Guzzler?

Come on, don't be shy.

First things first -- fix this basic circuit board.

What's wrong with it?

That's for me to not know, and you to figure out.

[ Laughter ]

I've got it.

It's a trick question.

It can't be fixed.

It's not, and it can.

All it takes is a little elbow grease and half a brain.

[ Laughter ]

You're not up for the task, Miss Guzzler.

All: [ Chanting ] Moron, moron, moron,

moron, moron, moron, moron,

moron, moron, moron, moron, moron.[ School bell rings ]

Psst, good luck getting a date to prom.

Men are most attracted to intelligence, idiot.

♪♪

I'm going to light you up like the Fourth of July.

♪♪

I should probably be getting back.

Stay with me. Every day could be this perfect.

It's not that simple.

It's never been that simple.

I can't just leave my husband as much as you might want me to.

Why not? It's not that complicated.

People make decisions every day.

Don't you want to be happy?

[ Bell tolls ]

I can't do this.

I'm sorry.

Me, too.

Tell Mom I said "hi."

She says you don't call enough.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Electricity humming ]Clear!

[ Sighs ] I feel the answer is right under my nose.

Achoo!

♪♪

[ Electricity crackles ]

Just like a circuit board would do!

I really did it.

Whoa, this circuit board,

it's buzzing and lit.

It's perfect.

Now finish the job.

Finally, this chair is up and running again.

Good job, kid.

I'm older than you.

All: [ Chanting ] We want the chair,

the chair, the chair!

We want the chair!That was amazing.

Will you go to prom with me?

[ Bell tolls ]We want the chair...

I wish that I could, but it's time for me

to go home to my easy, empty life...

♪♪

...and you can [bleep] me there.

What a woman.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm counting on you, please be cool.

I'm always cool. Remember this?

Attention, it's time to vote on HR-126,

brought to the floor

by Madam Secretary Karen Con Leche.

All those in favor, say "aye,"

followed by anything you'd like.

Aye caramba!

♪♪

Aye, yai, yai.

[ Spectators murmuring ]

♪♪

Aye...

think I'm going to like it here.

[ Applause, gavel banging ]

The measure passes, three votes.

That is an unprecedented majority.

♪♪

Today is an historic day.

Thanks to an bipartisan effort, every woman in Lemoncurd

will be implanted with a mandatory tracking device

for safety and also for fun.

[ Applause ]

♪♪

[ Bell tolls ]

It was great working with you again just like old times.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you, too.

So why don't you stay?

You can have it all.

I don't want it all.

I want nothing and no respect.

Besides...

you know where to find me.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

So we all came back.

♪♪

Of course we did.

♪♪

What else would we do?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪