Original subtitles

Woman: Nature --

it's that green stuff,

sometimes blue or even brown.

**

History has proven that fighting against nature

is truly stupid...

...and there's no one more stupid

than the Three Busy Debras.

**

**

I never thought I'd see an ATM eruption in my lifetime.

People of Lemoncurd, we are witnessing a miraculous event.

Today marks the first eruption of our town's

naturally-occurring ATM since 1892.

[ Applause ]

What's the plan for the dough?

Ah.

It's a free-for-all.

Have at it!

[ Cheering ]

**

Wow, nature's wonders never cease to amaze me.

Money really brings people together.

It sure does.

Together: Hi, Mayor Brett.

How are my pretty girls going to spend their funny money?

I'm going to take a solo trip to find myself.

I'll eat. I'll pray.

I'll love.

Ladies, I'm going to Vegas.

I'm going to do something that benefits the community,

like renovating my house.

-Yeah. -What about you, Debra?

I'm going to look inward and make some big changes

to my personality.

I'm getting fake tits.

I was going to suggest tits for you.

-Aw. -Yeah.

Times might be changing,

but I can always count on my Debras

to spend a lot of money in very little time.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, we're rich.

This is pennies to me.

Whee! [ Laughter ]

**

I think we can all agree my house

needs earrings and a big fun hat.

So here's the plan.

What, am I talking to myself here?

Where's my crew?

[ Tires screech ]

Sorry, lady, we're going to the mall.

Hey!

Hey! Hey, you get back here!

I don't lift a finger!

I get my fingers lifted for me!

[ Growls ]

* Money, money

[ Laughter ]

Yeah.

**

**

Looks like I'm operating on myself today.

Okay. [ Clears throat ]

[ Deep voice ] Dr. Debra reporting for duty.

Scalpel.

[ Normally ] Scalpel. [ Deep voice ] Thank you.

[ Normally ] You're welcome.

[ Deep voice ] Now count backwards from 10.

**

[ High-pitched voice ] Ten, nine, eight...

**

Attention, travelers, the airport is shut down.

No one showed up for work today.

Well, I want to go do nothing in a different time zone,

you know, vacation. -Not my problem.

If you need me, I'll be leaning on the plane.

I'm rich now.

Attention, everybody. Airport's back on now.

So please form a single-file line in birth order quickly.

Thank you.

**

[ Heart monitor beeping ]

**

Wait, where are my beautiful fake boobs?

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, God.

[ Sobbing ] How could you let me do this to me?!

[ Sobbing ]

**

Listen up, I'm willing to forgive your earlier outburst

if you will just get back to work.

Fat chance, lady.

We're relaxing.

Why are you relaxing?

What did you do to deserve a massage today?

Manual labor for 30 years.

I hate you.

* Money, money

Debra #2: Please discard all liquids, cellphones and children.

Sir, you're not allowed to bring that much water on the plane.

So pick your favorite 3 ounces and drink the rest.

**

[ Metal detector crackling ]

[ Metal detector beeping ]

Hey.

Love it.

I mean, I commend your initiative.

But who's going to fly the plane? That's not my department.

Hang tight, I'll radio control tower

and see who's on standby.

Oh, my God, I'm a working mother.

Ketchup? Ketchup.

Mustard? No, thanks.

So you have time to cut open that pig,

but you won't cut open this pig?

We're off the clock.

This is what we do for fun.

Surgery is my passion, and nursing is just my day job.

Well, you look ridiculous.

Pretty smug coming from the old witch

who has to shit out of her tits.

[ Laughter ]

Well, joke is on you. I haven't shit for years.

[ Laughter continues ]

**

More money!

I'm going to buy me a diamond made out of gold.

Our lives have never been worse than they are right now.

I mean, look at me.

My ass is tits,

and to make matters worse, I'm a terrible doctor.

You think your day is bad?

I'm an amazing manager.

30 people are depending on me.

Which reminds me, I have to figure out payroll.

Oh, wow, welcome to Lemoncurd,

a place where no one is working,

and I'm not getting what I want,

which, lest we forget, is earrings on my house.

This is all the ATM's fault.

I think it was sent from hell,

and I heard it's really bad there.

The ATM's reign of terror must be brought to an end.

[ Screaming ]

Money is supposed to bring people together!

But it actually drives them away.

-From their jobs. -Working for us.

[ Screaming ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

It's getting stronger.

We got to talk to the big man upstairs.

God?

Bigger.

The mayor.

**

Mayor Brett, let's talk.

Damn, Debras, you look awful.

No, everything is not okay.

-I didn't ask. -And therein lies the problem.

No one is doing their jobs anymore.

We need you to destroy the ATM.

Thank you. -[ Chuckles ]

No can do, 'bra.

Everyone knows you can't destroy the ATM.

It can only be deactivated using this ring,

which has been passed down from mayor to mayor

since the dawn of Lemoncurd.

Are you seriously not going to help us?

Why would I help you take away the most beautiful thing

that's happened in my lifetime?

Lemoncurd is now a town of prosperity,

equality and security.

-Who cares? -What could be better than that?

Other than...

[ Guitar riff plays ]

...rock and roll?

Don't worry, ladies.

I got this.

Do you think you could turn it off...

for me?

Oh.

Ooh.

Debra, Debra, Debra,

I wish I could help, but hands are tied...

in leather bracelets. [ Chuckles ]

That's right.

I'm going on tour with my a cappella group,

and before you ask, no free tickets.

[ Door closes, lock clicks ]

If you're not going to do your job...

[ Key clatters ] ...we're going to do it for you.

No.

-Yes. -Aah!

Give us the ring. Give us the ring.

Don't touch it. Don't touch it.

[ All singing ]

**

**

It is I, your town's beloved mayor,

elected and chosen through due process.

So I think it's about time we, uh, turn off the ATM, huh?

You all have enough money.

Time to finger that ATM to completion.

[ Crowd gasps ]

[ ATM crackles ]

I don't understand. Who would do something like this?

[ Chuckles ]

With all the money in the world, you could buy a clue.

Well, here's a clue.

We did that.

We killed the ATM.

Bet you feel so stupid.

It was us inside that coat the whole time, not the mayor.

We tricked you. -No, you didn't.

We knew it wasn't the mayor the second we saw his dead body.

He died of natural causes.

[ Crowd crying ]

I don't get it. Why aren't you all celebrating?

Isn't this exactly what I wanted?

You should be grateful you get to go back

to your old jobs right now. Go!

Um, you're welcome.

Now let's get back to the status quo.

Together: [ Chanting ] Status quo!

Status quo! Status quo!

Status quo!

Status quo! Status quo! Status quo! Status quo!

Status quo! Status quo! Status quo!

Status quo! Status quo! Status quo!

**

[ Gasps ] I'm going to buy my son new legs.

[ Gasps ] I'm going to buy your son's old legs.

I'm getting big fake tits.

Ooh!

**

Oh, glory day!

[ Laughter, cheering ]