Original subtitles

[soft dramatic music]

- [snoring] Wha--ninth encore?

Oh, you guys are the best audience,

but I insist on wearing pants.

[snoring continues]

♪ ♪

[Stacey hooting, snoring]

- Hmm. [mumbles]

[dramatic music]

- [groans]

Cold hands. What's going on?

- We're going to the outhouse.

- I know you're new to society, but isn't that a solo mission?

Why don't you go hand me back by the chimney with care?

I'm no night owl like Stacey.

What's going on? Are you afraid of the dark?

- We're here to see Alvin. - Alvin? Here? Why?

- We have a deal. She said if I give her you,

then she'll leave me and my sister alone.

- Oh, no, no, no Kendar, this is a bad idea, go get Brendar.

- Oh, she's sleeping.

And even I remember you never wake a sleeping Barbarian.

I'd rather brush an angry Gorgon's hair.

[creature growling]

- [coughs]

- Never mind the smell. - I wouldn't think a powerful

demon would have such a powerful stench.

- If you can think of a better way

to travel through the underworld,

I'd like to hear it.

- Kendar, you probably don't know

I'm a demon chopping axe

and you could chop this demon right now!

- Don't listen to that tool, be a good little boy,

and hand the axe over.

- You promise that you'll leave us alone.

- Of course, otherwise,

I will follow your sister endlessly and destroy her,

and then it's back my lair for you.

And this time, no Pizza Mondays.

- I'm sorry, Axe. I have to protect Brendar.

- No, Kendar, no, don't do this.

- You're not such a demon chopper now, are you, Axe?

- Get your dirty claws off me!

- You made the right decision.

Toodles. - No, no!

Brendar! Brendar!

[flatulence]

- Ugh.

- ♪ A troll burned his bridge ♪

♪ A warrior lost her crown ♪

♪ I'm not being poetic ♪

♪ That's literally what went down ♪

♪ Together their journey has begun ♪

♪ Combining might and melody ♪

♪ To quest and smite a demon ♪

♪ And find their true family ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ "The Barbarian and the Troll" ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ "The Barbarian and the Troll" ♪

[thunder booms]

- [yawns]

- ♪ Time to make my morning tea ♪

♪ Splash of milk ♪

♪ Splash, splash, splash, a scoop of sugar ♪

both: ♪ Scoop, scoop, scoop ♪

- ♪ Use the spoon to stir ♪ both: ♪ Stir, stir ♪

- Can you please make your tea

without singing every step out loud?

- You are just like your mother.

She was not a morning person or an afternoon person

or an evening person.

- Oh, good, I'm glad you're all up.

- Ugh!

You better have a worm for this early bird.

- I wanna get a head start before Kendar wakes up.

He's gonna wanna come along, and he's just too young.

- Plus, he's been sitting in a cell for 10 years.

So he's not really what you'd call "Demon-hunting ready."

- That too.

Hey, where's Axe? - Not sure.

- Stacey?

- What do I look like, a tool shed?

- I got out of the lair.

I slept on a pillow, and I found out what bacon is.

Freedom is delicious.

- Um, that is not bacon. That's Horus' flip flop.

- Oh, still yummy.

[slurps] - Eww!

- Oh, man.

- Kendar, I didn't wanna worry you,

but we're going after Alvin.

- No, you shouldn't worry. Alvin told me you're all safe.

- You spoke to Alvin?

- Yup, last night at the outhouse.

- [gasps] - FYI.

Still better than a pail.

- What did she say? - She said if I give her Axe,

then she'd leave us alone. So I gave her Axe.

- You gave her Axe? - Yeah.

Well, now we're safe, and you don't have to go anywhere.

You're welcome.

- Oh, no, no, no. - You don't look happy.

You want a piece of bacon?

- Uh, no, it's still just a flip flop.

- He spent the last decade in captivity.

How could he have known? - Known what?

- The only true thing about

a demon is that they always lie.

- How are we gonna find Alvin?

There's only four of us, and Gothmoria's huge.

- Ooh, we find out what her favorite snack is...

- Yeah.

- Then we leave it outside on a plate...

- Okay.

- And then when she comes to get it, we grab her!

- [groans]

- She's a demon, Dad, not a raccoon.

- Ah. - Hmm.

Well, we can ask all the people of Gothmoria

to look with us.

I'd bet if you ask 'em for help, they'll show up.

- Yeah, we'll form a large search party.

- That could work. But we can't call it a party.

- Well, then let's get this shindig started, wink wink.

[upbeat flute music]

[indistinct chatter]

- Oh, this is quite happy.

[indistinct chatter]

- I've just gotten over the plane,

so I shouldn't even be carrying it--

- Out of my way, Marcus. Owl coming through.

- Watch it, flappy!

- What have you seen on your travels?

- I flew around Alvin's old lair and checked in

with a few hawks, super cute, super dumb.

Anyway, they said they haven't seen Alvin for days.

- I need you to fly over the Monotonous Mountains.

It won't be easy. They all look the same.

- Hang on, I just got back from a long flight,

and both of my wings hurt.

- Rest is not an option!

- It has to be.

- Ugh! - Okay, Brendar,

there was a very strong breeze which took all my flyers

and deposited them in a treetop.

But good news is, they're all very visible.

- I'm beginning to think we're never gonna find Axe.

- Great news! I found Axe!

[all gasp]

- Where is she? - Right here.

[softly] Hello, I am Axe,

and I was forged into... [mumbles]

And to chop things.

I'll demonstrate ferocious power.

Chop, chop, chop.

Oh, I see--I see blood.

- No, you don't.

- I'll chop your other arm. Chop, chop.

Ooh, exposed bone. So much blood.

- Kyle, can you get the door? - My plesh.

- So where's my reward money?

- Oh, it's right there.

- What, where? - [grunts]

- [screams]

- This search party is not working.

We've gotta try something different.

- You're right. I am just a humble wizard,

but if you say the word, I will read every magic book

I have, use every tool in my small but mighty arsenal,

and do everything in my power to help.

- I'm sorry, Horus, but your magic isn't strong enough.

- Well, thank goodness.

That sounded like a lot of work.

- If we're going to have a fighting chance,

then we need powerful magic. We need...

- Last-ditch effort? - A desperate act?

- A peppy song to fill the time?

- No. Queen Shimmereen.

[all gasp]

- Brendar, you don't like Queen Shimmereen,

and she doesn't like you right back.

- She kicked you out of the royal order and took

your sensible assault footwear.

- And it's very hard to get an appointment with her,

let alone a commitment to a romantic picnic.

- [groans]

- Look, I don't wanna ask her for help,

but there's only two things powerful enough to defeat

Alvin the Demon: Axe and Queen Shimmereen.

- Careful, Brendar, you know,

she'll probably make you sing that princess warrior anthem.

- Hmph! I will never sing

the princess warrior anthem again.

[all gasp]

But we have to try.

Let's head out. - Okay.

[upbeat rock music]

- ♪ Oi, oi! ♪

♪ Oi, oi! ♪

♪ Oi, oi! ♪

♪ Oi, oi! ♪

♪ Oi, oi! ♪

♪ Oi, oi, oi, oi! ♪

- Hey, Brendar.

I'm really sorry about what I did.

Can I come with you? I can step on Alvin's tail for you!

- Her tail?

- Yeah, it's her most sensitive spot.

I stepped on it once, and she went crazy.

- Oh, that's good information, but you still can't come.

- I think it's a little too dangerous for you, kid.

Why don't you hang back here with me?

I got something that will cheer you right up.

- What's that?

- I'm gonna teach you how to clean a kitchen.

- Oh, cool!

- And after we clean up, you can fix the roof!

- Wow!

- Let's go see a queen about a demon.

- Yeah.

[dramatic music]

- Is it poor taste to be received by a queen

wearing one flip flop?

- [groans]

Where in the hackamore am I?

- By Blarney's beard, the dual docks,

and you're in the royal dungeon.

I'm Jeremy, welcome to me wall!

- Thanks. - You're welcome!

I need you to do me a favor.

When that bloke wakes up, just ignore him.

- What bloke?

- Not very observant, this axe. - Huh?

- Dale, don't be rude.

This axe is me own new best friend!

- Oh, so sorry, Sir Jeremy,

Baron of the left bit of the wall.

- All right, Axe, I'll explain.

Dale here, the Lord of the right bit of the wall,

is just jealous of our side

'cause our side gets a sunbeam for three minutes

every third Tuesday.

- The Axe and I declare war. - What?

If anything, Axe is mostly on my side.

- What the! - Oi, prepare for battle, you.

- Battle? You guys are chained to a wall.

- Well, my hands are chained, but my feet are lethal weapons!

[both grunting]

- You take that, you.

- This is pretty much the day.

Is it possible for the dungeon to provide nail clippers? Ugh.

- Good morning, boys!

both: Morning, Tyler.

- I got bad news.

I won't be able to hold you off today, busy, busy, busy,

so you'll have to wallow in your own filth

for a little while longer.

- Well, that's fine.

I'm comfortable in me own filth.

- I'd like a hot bath.

- Not me, wallowing in filth reminds me of the filth farm

that dad used to manage.

- Your father farmed filth? - Until the great filth famine!

- It was a horrible time for all of us.

- Oh, and Mosses joined my side.

That's two against one.

- Ooh, Axe, reconsider. Join me side.

My wall is much smoother.

- I'm not on anybody's side!

- Join my side, the shackles are roomier.

- Tyler, is possible for me to have my own cell?

- Listen, don't fly off handle.

You won't have to put up with them for too much longer...

- Ugh, thank goodness.

- Because I am going to heat up the cauldron and melt you down!

- Melt me down? Melt me down?

- It will be like taking hot lava bath.

- Oh, the axe gets a bath, not fair.

- I'll get this bad boy fired up.

[flames whoosh]

And it will be about an hour

before it is the perfect axe-melting temperature.

- No, no, no, wait, Tyler. You can't melt a friend

of Lord Jeremy's, will you agree, Jer-bear?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Well, I'm on Team Dale now. Am I right, big D?

- [snoring]

- Don't go anywhere.

[giggles]

[sweeping music]

♪ ♪

both: Hark, hark.

Brendar the Barbarian approaches.

- What is she doing here? - Yes, it's me.

I'm here. - How dare she.

- Say hello to my little friends.

- Wow! - Oh, vaulted ceilings!

- And just so everyone knows,

I will not be singing a song!

Whoa, Sharon, I just wanted to speak to the queen.

- She is busy. - She is?

- Let her pass.

- Like I said, she'll see you now.

- Hello, Shimmereen, you're looking magically regal.

- Oh, yes, yes, we love how you're running Gothmoria,

the new rules with no laughing or singing

without a license are real crowd-pleasers.

- Yes, I like it too. - I've come with a request.

- Oh, a request!

Let's see, would you like me to make Thursday

Silly Hat Day?

- Ooh, yeah, that'd be great. - Yeah, I have a face for hats.

- Sure do.

- No, it's about the demon, Alvin.

She took my Axe.

- I hear she goes all around Gothmoria borrowing tools

and never giving them back.

- That's funny. all: [strained laughter]

- But Axe is not just an axe.

She's our friend, and she's a demon chopper.

So Alvin doesn't want her out there.

- Does this story have an end?

- Yes, we need your help. - [scoffs]

I never thought I'd hear those words come out her mouth.

- Silence!

It's the shush ribbon of shame for you.

- [sighs]

- Now, I wouldn't think you'd need my help.

Because from what I heard, you got your brother

out of Alvin's lair all on your own.

That couldn't have been easy.

- No, not easy at all, we almost got stabbed by spikes

and poisoned by a frog and eaten by a monster!

- I can't wait to hear one of your peppy tunes about it.

- Thanks, I got a real good hook I'm working on right now--

- I was being sarcastic. Your songs are tedious.

- Look, only you can track down Alvin and help me defeat her.

- Hm. - [sighs]

Please. Your magic is so powerful.

Aren't I always saying that, guys?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All the time.

- Yeah, all the way here, she was saying it.

- Yeah, you're a real suck up. - All of the time.

- To the queen, for sure. - [sighs]

Give me a second to think about it.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- I'll do it. - Really?

- Truly? - For real?

- No way!

- I wasn't sure you'd see me, let alone help me.

Thank you. - [laughs]

- Two mortal enemies coming together

and joining forces on an epic quest!

- One teeny, tiny thing. - Uh-oh.

- You have to earn it.

- What do you want? I'll do whatever it takes.

You want me to bow? I will bow.

Kiss your feet? Evan would be happy to do it.

- Yeah--wait, what?

- I want you to sing

the princess warrior anthem!

- She hates that song.

- She hates that song. - Oh.

both: She hates that song.

- I really don't like that song.

- Making you sing a song you like isn't very fun now, is it?

- Fine.

♪ We are the princess warriors ♪

♪ We really love our queen ♪

♪ We humbly clip her ribbons and swear she isn't mean ♪

both: She isn't! - I believe

that song came with choreography, go on.

- ♪ We are the princess warriors ♪

♪ We really love our queen ♪

♪ She gives us fancy outfits ♪

♪ And hitters the guillotine ♪

both: Chop! Chop!

- Bravo! - Nice moves!

- Well, that was peachy, but good effort.

Now, throw them in the dungeon.

[swords swishing] - Wait!

[dramatic music]

Surprise!

- I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.

- And yet you did! [laughs]

- You'll never get away with this.

I guess she got away with it.

- Oh.

[gentle music]

- So now we're in the same cell as Axe.

- Weird, right, because-- well, Axe was taken by Alvin

and we were taken by the queen.

So I don't know, maybe it's a magic spell or something.

- Hmm. - All I know is,

your brother handed me off to the bad guy,

and now we're in a dungeon!

- Ain't you gonna introduce us to your friends?

- They don't teach simple manners anymore.

- Oh, sorry.

Dungeon guys, these are my friends.

Friends, these are dungeon guys.

- Hey. - What's up?

- Nice to meet ya!

- Welcome, our filth is your filth.

- Hang around as long as you want.

[both laugh]

- Well, I'm glad that you're okay, Axe.

- For now.

- Yeah, and I'm glad we're all together.

But why are we all together?

- Maybe the queen is in cahoots with Alvin.

both: Cahoots! Cahoots! Cahoots! Cahoots!

- Of course.

She's letting Alvin use her dungeon.

- Renting out one's dungeon is a direct violation

to the castle owner's association bylaws!

The queen is as deceitful as she is beautiful.

- Gross.

- But what does she get from Alvin?

[tense music]

- Oh.

♪ ♪

- All right, I am sorry that took so long,

but I wanted to get it really hot for you.

There is nothing more embarrassing

than melting off only half of someone's face.

- Really? Nothing? You can't think of one thing

that would be more embarrassing?

- Oh, no, what's going on?

- Oh, let me fill you in.

I'm about to be melted down into a fork!

[all gasp] - What kind of fork?

- The kind that breaks off slices of delicate cake.

- Oh, no.

- I hate to cut this short, but as the queen would say,

"Chop, chop."

- Oh, that's my line!

Oh, no!

[whimpers]

♪ ♪

- Axe! Oh, no!

[all gasp]

- Sharon? Sharon!

- Oh, yeah! - Yeah!

- Very good! - All right!

[upbeat rock music]

- ♪ Oi, oi, oi, oi! ♪

♪ Oi, oi, oi, oi! ♪

♪ Oi, oi, oi! ♪

- Why are you doing this, Sharon?

- I don't know.

Maybe it's because the queen is mean

and has made so many people's lives miserable.

- Or? - I just love revenge.

- There we go.

[soft music]

Thank you, Sharon.

- Yes, well, we better get going

before the queen realizes what I've done.

[chuckles]

- Yeah.

- Hey, shouldn't we take the dungeon guys with us?

- Oh, kind of you to say so, but we're good here.

- Yeah, besides, tomorrow is Silly Hat Day.

- And we have our friend Tyler to hang out with.

[chuckles]

- Cahoots!

all: Cahoots! Cahoots! Cahoots!

[yipping]

- Coast is clear.

[sneaky music]

♪ ♪

- Once we pass the entryway, it's the lobby,

then the vestibule and then after the foyer, we run.

both: Hark, hark! The escaped prisoners approach!

all: Shh!

- Where do you think you're going?

- We're leaving. I'll fight you if I have to.

- Let's wrap this up.

- [grunts]

- That was rude and literal. Hmph!

- You don't deserve to be queen.

You've done nothing for the people of Gothmoria.

- And you've been working with Alvin.

- In cahoots! - That's right.

We've got it all figured out.

- How do you live with yourself?

Working with Alvin...

- Working with Alvin?

Oh, you silly, purple troll.

You really have no idea who I am, do you?

[gritty electronic music]

♪ I guess it's cute how you think that you know me ♪

♪ But I've been pulling your strings ♪

♪ Yes, I've been yanking your chain ♪

♪ It's such a hoot to shoot my girls in the back ♪

♪ Poison the cat in my lap ♪

♪ Be the wolf and grandma's careful queen! ♪

What big eyes you have! [cackles]

♪ Why do I do the nasty things that I do ♪

♪ Yes, I'm evil through and through ♪

♪ Nothing I hate more than you ♪

♪ While you were out questing, I was robbing your hood ♪

♪ I can't feel bad 'cause it's just too good ♪

♪ I can't feel bad 'cause it's just too good! ♪

♪ So gather around, no, you can't ♪

♪ 'Cause you're bound by the very same ribbons ♪

♪ I used to hold you down, just grabbed your hair ♪

♪ And your clothes, threw your brother in jail ♪

♪ Tricky, tricky, what a pity ♪

♪ Hey, Brendar, you failed! ♪

♪ Oh, the queen has a tail! ♪

♪ Why do I do the nasty things that I do ♪

♪ Yes, I'm evil through and through ♪

♪ Nothing I hate more than you ♪

♪ Face it, you're basic, I could kill and I would ♪

♪ I can't feel bad 'cause it's just too good ♪

♪ Think you could end me? Oh, I wish that you would ♪

♪ You are all my puppets ♪

both: [gasp] - ♪ And it's just too good ♪

♪ You're broken and I love it 'cause it's just too good! ♪

- [gasp]

- [cackling]

- Guys, we found Alvin the demon.

- You think? - Even I figured that actually.

- Yeah, really. No doy, troll.

And now,

I'm going to end you all

just like I ended your mother!

- [gasps]

- [laughing maniacally]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0