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1
00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:09,075
-So, what'd you think?
2
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,210
If a good power washing
doesn't get rid of
the pizza smell,
3
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,175
the owner's offered
to sandblast it.
4
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,254
Yeah, they're good people,
and they just made the mistake
5
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:17,323
of opening a restaurant
next to an Arby's.
6
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,591
Got decimated!
7
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:22,119
-It sounds like a real steal.
8
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,156
-Yeah, you should do great here,
unless you're planning
9
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:26,432
on opening up a restaurant,
'cause, well, you know.
10
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,260
-Right, the Arby's.
11
00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:30,826
-Did I mention it's built on top
of an abandoned missile silo?
12
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,604
Talk about closet space!
13
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,573
-Room for plenty of skeletons.
14
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,613
-Ho-ho!
Figuratively speaking, I hope.
15
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,538
-(both laughing)
16
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:42,643
-Aah!
-Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Banter, banter, banter.
17
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,676
-Was that necessary?
He was a Realtor.
18
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,152
You merely sent him to Hell
for a second time.
19
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,451
-We should attack
Titanium Rex now!
20
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,323
-We're wasting time, Devizo.
-Well, patience, Lex.
21
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,093
The first order of business is
a headquarters
22
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:59,093
for the all-new Injustice Club!
23
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:01,427
-Guys?
-Rabdo: Wait.
Was that our cue?
24
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,672
-We can't see shit, man.
It's darker than a whale's
asshole out here.
25
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,838
-What happened to this place?
It looks like a great location.
26
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,498
Oh! An Arby's.
Well, that explains everything.
27
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:14,208
-You better bring your A-game
if you're gonna set up shop
next to the B's.
28
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,342
Poor bastards
never had a chance.
29
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,777
-How are we supposed to strike
fear into people's hearts
30
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,382
from a boarded-up pizza place?
31
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,124
We need
a mountaintop fortress
32
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,750
or an island
shaped like a skull.
33
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:27,324
Or a giant billboard that says,
"Injustice Club.
Come arrest us."
34
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,585
-I vote for the skull thing.
-This is not a democracy!
35
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,164
We need utter secrecy
until my plan to destroy
36
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,604
the League of Freedom
is perfect.
37
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:39,699
I'm in charge, and I say,
we sign this lease!
38
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,136
-Ha-ha. Oops-a-daisy.
39
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,712
-(theme music playing)
40
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,780
-(grunting)
41
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,691
-Robobot: Ranger,
can I ask you a question?
42
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,193
Do you respect me less
now that I'm not a Jew?
43
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:41,426
-Is this one of those
"Are you still beating
your wife" questions?
44
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:42,962
-You know what? Never mind.
45
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,826
Cooch, you're reading.
I'm proud of you.
46
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:48,235
-Yeah, you know,
it's some erotic fan fiction,
starring Black Saturn.
47
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,969
-Huh?
-I found it on the printer.
48
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:54,483
I don't know who Jem
and the Holograms are,
but they are getting tore up!
49
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,978
-Oh, my darkest secret!
Who told you you could read
"Jem and the Swallograms"?
50
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,281
-I don't see what
you're afraid of, Rex!
51
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,284
This could be
a great opportunity.
52
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:05,486
-Yes, to embarrass me
on a national stage.
53
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,819
-Let's forget about
my fan fiction and talk
about whatever this is.
54
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,215
-Some Hollywood big shot
55
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,788
optioned the rights
to a Titanium Rex movie.
56
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:16,596
Some actor wants to shadow me
to get into the role.
57
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,900
-It's gotta be Steve Buscemi!
-What? No!
58
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,472
-Nick Nolte in old-age makeup!
-Bruce Vilanch!
59
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:24,342
-It's JK Simons.
-Simmons.
60
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:25,972
-Eh, whatever.
-This is bullcrap!
61
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:29,976
JK should shadow me!
I do cool stuff, like troll
athletes on Twitter!
62
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,480
Hey, Reggie Miller
with a successful block.
63
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,983
Guess it's not
the 2000 NBA Finals.
64
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,785
-Rex, we can't have an actor
running around the mansion!
65
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:41,018
It's an ignoble profession!
They're basically gypsies
with toothbrushes!
66
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,524
-Now, JK is one
of the good ones, Ranger.
67
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,557
I've had him on my show
many times.
68
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:48,333
His involvement makes us
all look good.
69
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:52,532
-Now, JK Simmons is
the Harry Potter dude?
-That's JK Rowling.
70
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,436
-Frizzy hair, short shorts?
-That's Richard Simmons.
71
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:58,009
-Plays bass, splits blood?
-Gene Simmons.
72
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,608
-Makes quilts?
Owns his own quilts factory?
73
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:03,041
-I don't know who that is.
74
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,246
-Checkmate, motherfucker.
75
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,624
-Who put their fish tank
on top of my stuff?
76
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,289
Oh, my God! It's leaking
all over my "MAG" magazines!
77
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,689
Oh, not the "Star Trek" issue!
78
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,821
A star black.
(laughs) Roasted.
79
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,826
-Rabdo! Move your shit,
so I can set up the home cinema!
80
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:22,659
-Oh yeah. Like I'm gonna miss
arm day so you can set up
your Roku.
81
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,026
Diamond cut, bitch!
82
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,774
-Rabdo! I don't know
many things in this life,
83
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,700
but I know if I miss "Dr. Ken,"
84
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,306
you're getting mouth fucked
with a Shake Weight!
85
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:34,069
-I call dibs on
the master bedroom!
-You don't need all that space.
86
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:38,507
-Nope, but all the pussy
I'm gonna assassinate sure does,
limp dick.
87
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,076
-(loud arguing)
-Come on!
88
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,653
-What in the Earthly hell?
89
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,623
(over comms)
Devizo, where the frick
are you?
90
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:48,392
-I'm down in my lab,
doing actual work!
91
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,362
-Lex:
You're supposed to be
in charge, remember?
92
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,991
It's totally FUBAR up here!
93
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,555
-Okay, here we go.
(humming along to music)
94
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:57,104
-Devizo. Devizo!
Are you even fucking there?
95
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,430
-(engine revs)
96
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:05,673
-Now, come on, Rex.
You've got nothing
to be afraid of.
97
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,576
-Of course not!
The man plays make-believe
for a living!
98
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,839
-You dress like an eagle.
-(stammers)
99
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:13,348
-(door opens)
-Titanium Rex, in the flesh.
100
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:16,951
-And you must be JK Simon--
Oh, I mean Simmons.
Didn't hear you knock.
101
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:20,424
-Not really something
you worry about when
you have one of these.
102
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,764
-Aw, John-John!
-Sha-Sha!
103
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,860
So this is where it all happens.
Hey, I'd love a tour.
104
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:27,762
-Yeah, yeah. Sure, fine.
Follow me.
105
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:30,525
-Great.
-Would you like me
to hold your Oscar for you?
106
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,374
-Yeah, you sound
like Miles Teller.
107
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,540
No. This little baby stays
with me at all times.
108
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:39,509
-This here is
our state-of-the-art
training facility,
109
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,540
which we've nicknamed
Hazard Chamber.
110
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:46,445
-Yo! JK! I heard you're looking
for complex characters
with a dark side!
111
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,720
Coming right up! Computer,
threat level omega. Go now!
112
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,120
-Computer: Going now.
-Saturn, no!
113
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,992
-(grunting)
114
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,127
Ta-da!
115
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,858
No skin off of my--
116
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,963
(screaming)
Computer, safeword
"pumpernickel"!
117
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:05,395
-Yeah, we've also got
a cappuccino machine over here.
-(saw buzzing)
118
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:08,743
-Uh, are you gonna
do something about that?
-Yeah, I probably should.
119
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,509
-Whoa! That would
probably make a great
120
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,039
"all is lost" moment if you'd
made the movie about me!
121
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,884
-Would you get out of there!
-Hmm. This could be a problem.
122
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,180
-Oh? How so?
-You're practically
invulnerable.
123
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,952
How is this movie gonna have
any stakes if you can't be hurt?
124
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:25,552
-I can be hurt.
All Septopians are
vulnerable to--
125
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,994
Ah, that's a trade secret.
126
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,962
-Sorry, Oskie.
Looks like we have a snoozer
on our hands here.
127
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,932
You won't be getting
that baby brother after all.
128
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,461
-(stammers)
Now, wait a minute.
129
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:38,026
You haven't seen what being
a hero is all about.
130
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,865
-You still interested
in that ride-along?
-Sure. Let's do it.
131
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,501
-Wait! Let me get cleaned up!
Do you have to go now?
132
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,937
-Computer: Going now.
-Wait, wait, wait. Oh, shit!
133
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,483
Pumpernickel!
134
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,508
-No way do you
get the biggest room
and the salad bar!
135
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:53,484
-Hey, anytime you want
to toss a salad, just knock.
136
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,984
-I knew you were gonna
make that joke!
137
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,875
-(all arguing)
138
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,587
-Will everyone shut up!
139
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,760
I'm working on the goddamn plan.
140
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,459
And for the last time,
141
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:06,531
can someone move
that Realtor's corpse
off the sidewalk?
142
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,130
-Yeah, I'm on it.
143
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,831
-Why is
all this shit in my bedroom?
-Oh, oh, it's your bedroom?
144
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,074
-Oh, it's our--
it's our bad. Take it.
-Wait.
145
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,870
Why should Devizo get
the big room?
146
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:18,472
All his scheming has ever done
is risk our lives. And for what?
147
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,706
-Yeah!
-She's not lying.
148
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,080
-Titanium Rex is
still in charge.
149
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,979
The League of Freedom is
still kicking our asses.
150
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,822
-What did we accomplish?
-We kind of killed Brad.
151
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,718
-Others: Who?
-Exactly.
152
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:33,020
Exactly. Maybe it's
time someone else led
the Injustice Club,
153
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,163
someone who gives
everyone a voice.
154
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,588
-Yeah!
-That's what I'm talkin' about.
155
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,534
-We want an--
everyone say it together--
156
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,190
elec-- election.
157
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,928
I'm sorry, I thought it was
more clear. We want an election.
158
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,174
-We want an election!
-Yeah! Yeah, yeah!
159
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,199
-Very well, morons.
160
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:51,235
But I think you'll soon find
democracy is
161
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,881
a double-edged sword.
-(loud thud)
162
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,078
-Did-- Did he just throw
the fucking body on the roof?
163
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,181
-(alarm blaring)
-Ladies and gentlemen,
164
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,615
-the pleasure is all yours!
165
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:09,662
-You're getting robbed
by the Ski-Mask Gang!
-Simmons: The Ski-Mask Gang?
166
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:13,660
-Oh, my gosh!
It's Academy Award winner
JK Simmons!
167
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,064
-And Titanium Rex.
168
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,266
-Come on. Let's find
some villains that are
more cinematic.
169
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,828
-What? We have
different colored masks.
-Come on.
170
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,638
-Oh, sorry. I didn't realize
going to art school was
171
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,211
a prerequisite
for a life of crime!
172
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,609
-Where you're going,
the only class you'll need is
173
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,283
How to Make License Plates 101.
174
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,252
-Yeah, they don't make license
plates in prison anymore.
That industry privatized
175
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:38,022
years ago.
-Can we just save
all the notes till the end?
176
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:41,891
-Yeah! We're trying
to work here.
-(rapid gunfire)
177
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,062
-(growls)
Stay down!
178
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,961
-A punch to the chin?
Kind of clichí.
179
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:48,233
-(metal creaking)
180
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,961
-Feel like I've seen it.
-Ow! Come on!
181
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,168
-Okay.
-Aah!
182
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,700
-We're getting somewhere,
but we still need some flare.
183
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,636
Hey, hand me
one of those dye packs.
184
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,871
-Okay, thank you.
-(dye pack pops)
185
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,876
-(screams, gurgles)
-Oh! That was awesome!
186
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:05,909
-Now put one up his butt!
-Okay, I think we're done here.
187
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,876
-Robo-Dino:
Welcome to the Injustice Club
presidential debate.
188
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:12,916
Each candidate will be allowed
10 minutes for their opening
statement. Dr. Devizo.
189
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,763
-(feedback whines)
-(clears throat)
190
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,828
I hope this building
burns to the ground
with all of you in it.
191
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,728
Thank you for your time.
192
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,360
-What? But so--
That-- That's it?
You're done?
193
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,965
I was actually gonna run
to the bathroom, but... (sighs)
194
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,798
Guess Lex Lightning's up.
195
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:30,244
-Ask yourselves,
are you better off now
than you were four hours ago?
196
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,140
-Others: No!
-Is Titanium Rex dead yet?
197
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,883
-No, he's not dead.
-Uh-uh.
198
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,248
-A good leader talks,
but a great leader listens.
199
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,908
I think there's a lot of talent
in this lair,
200
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:43,078
but your voices
aren't being heard.
201
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,746
-Yeah!
-That's true!
202
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:49,085
-Elect me, and we'll destroy
the League of Freedom together!
203
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,632
-(cheering)
-Whoo-hoo! All right!
204
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,629
-Groaner, what are you doing?
205
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,631
-I'm running as an independent.
206
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,333
The two-party system is broken,
207
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,704
and laughter is
the best medicine.
208
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,943
-Get off the stage!
-Boo!
209
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:05,939
-Now let's say this balloon is
Dr. Devizo's master plan.
210
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,743
-Come on!
-Ah!
211
00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,675
(gagging)
-Oh no!
212
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:13,410
-I propose we all stand
around and see if he can
dislodge it himself.
213
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,816
-(groans, spits)
-Mm, he got it.
214
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,849
-Oh! Ooh!
215
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,890
-I'm still looking
for that hook, Rex,
216
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,322
that detail that makes
this a film.
217
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,887
-I know just what
you're looking for.
218
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,657
-I keep a few mementos in here.
219
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:32,997
-Simmons: Key to the city.
Presidential Medal of Freedom.
220
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,743
I didn't know
you were on a stamp.
221
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,998
-Galapagos Islands.
Domestic only.
222
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,807
Hey, check out these headlines!
223
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,839
"League Defeats Hellish Copter."
224
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,084
"Rex Defeats Nixon's Evil Twin."
225
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,780
"Gas Prices Triple."
226
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,952
-Is there a story here?
'Cause I don't get
that last one.
227
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:51,150
-That is a keepsake from the day
I defeated Professor Shrinkray.
228
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:54,194
That's what you call
a real swat team, huh?
(cackles)
229
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:57,061
-Gross.
-Did someone say my name?
230
00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,690
-Hey, you're Juno's daddy!
-Uh, yes.
231
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:03,398
-Is it true a lady
can get knocked up
by sittin' on a toilet?
232
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,870
-No.
-If you put Juno
on that "Jurassic Park" island,
233
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,270
would she eventually develop
both sets of sex organs
234
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:12,012
and get herself pregnant?
"All life finds a way" and shit?
235
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,839
-I'm gonna go with "unknown."
-Cool. See ya!
236
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,146
-She doesn't have to be
in the movie.
237
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,878
-It's time to vote.
All those in favor
of Groaner as leader, say aye!
238
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:25,785
-(man clears throat)
239
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:29,259
-Oh, is that right?
Well, in that case, I have
a brief concession speech.
240
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,489
(inhales)
241
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,393
Fuck
242
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:37,256
...you!
243
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,097
-All those in favor
of Dr. Devizo?
244
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,101
-All those in favor of Lex?
-All: Aye!
245
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:46,066
-What?
-O.M. God!
246
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,876
Yay!
247
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,808
-(music playing)
-(cheering)
248
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,953
-(record scratches, music stops)
-Aah!
249
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,379
-I've indulged this
moronic exercise long enough!
250
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,324
Get back to work!
251
00:11:56,349 --> 00:12:00,089
-Sorry, Devizo. We are
in charge of ourselves now.
252
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,420
-Yeah!
-(music playing)
253
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,785
-(Devizo giggles)
254
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,885
Good luck.
255
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:09,127
-Why-- Why are you smiling?
256
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,532
Why is he smiling?
257
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,273
-(cork pops)
-Whoa!
258
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,069
-This is gonna be great.
259
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,806
-The key to the perfect
green juice is kale.
260
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,109
The leaves are so tender.
261
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:24,951
-Yeah, that's real important
when you're going to pulverize
them at 37,000 RPMs.
262
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,078
-(whirs)
263
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,548
-Oh!
264
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,922
That is stupendous, JK.
265
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,163
-Drink it, Cooch.
-Why? What'd I do wrong?
266
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,858
-(phone vibrates)
-Oh, I got to take this.
267
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,560
Hey, Bryan.
No, you can't borrow it!
268
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,091
Look, "Trumbo" was great,
but it was Leo's year.
269
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,458
-Ah, did you try
the juice, Robobot?
270
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,826
-If I ever want to know
what it feels like to suck off
271
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,996
the Jolly Green Giant,
I'll let you know.
272
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,895
-Wait. Well, what's gotten
into all of you?
273
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:53,267
-Your friendship
with that professional liar
is clouding your judgment!
274
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,206
-That's ridiculous.
-Oh, really?
275
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,252
I heard you two running lines
late into the night.
276
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,478
The Rex I know is
in bed by 8:30!
277
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:03,353
-Hey, hey, hey.
He's on Hollywood time, baby.
278
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,853
-"Baby"? Rex,
what's gotten into you?
279
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:09,116
-Nothing. You're sure no one
wants a drink? It's delicious.
280
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,456
-Do you really believe that,
Rex? Or are you just acting?
281
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,832
-Wha-- no! No. Ha!
282
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,862
Look, I have to make
a phone call.
283
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,327
-Show us your phone's
lock screen.
284
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:21,995
-Oh, I-I get it. You think
it's gonna be a photo of JK.
285
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,995
-Well, it isn't.
-Show us.
286
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,437
-Listen. I'm Titanium Rex,
287
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,313
not some goo-goo-eyed,
13-year-old girl.
288
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,912
-Okay, I'm getting
a lot of filibuster here.
289
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,954
Let's cut to the part where
I take your phone from you.
290
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,980
-Oh, no, no! Wait!
It was like that
when I bought it!
291
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,946
And this juice is delicious!
292
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,285
(gags, groans)
Delicious!
293
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,390
-Okay, great. I said 3:00 p.m.,
294
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,285
and it's--
wow, look at that-- 3:42.
295
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,557
But, uh, you prioritized
an Arby's run.
296
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,526
Do I wish you would have
picked me up a beef and cheddar?
297
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,534
Sure! But it's not important.
I'm the cool boss.
298
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,867
Don't care.
But care about some things.
299
00:13:57,905 --> 00:14:01,105
Okay! Let's storm it up,
brain wise. That's a brainstorm.
300
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,441
Just start shouting out ideas.
301
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,876
Don't be shy.
There's no wrong answers here.
302
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,553
-I don't know how
we could get to this plan.
303
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,280
I'm just thinking out loud here.
(clears throat)
304
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,646
If we could somehow end up
with Rex's neck in my mouth,
305
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,254
uh, my titanium jaw
could maybe kill him?
306
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,087
-Okay, that's great. Yes.
307
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,564
Also, I am illiterate.
So if you could,
uh, draw it maybe.
308
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,162
-Yep.
309
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,434
-My kicks are pretty accurate,
310
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,403
so if I could get within
kicking distance of Rex,
311
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:30,203
I could maybe kick him
into Robo-Dino's mouth
312
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:33,107
-so he could do
that thing he said.
-Okay.
313
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,140
-Draw me flying a helicopter
314
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:38,675
so Rabdo can swing down
on a rope ladder and kick Rex
into Robo-Dino's mouth!
315
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,111
-Can you fly a helicopter?
-You know what?
316
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,948
Draw me getting
helicopter lessons.
317
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,653
-And what are we supposed to do
for eight weeks
318
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,354
while you're learning
to fly a helicopter?
319
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,686
-You could learn to read.
-Hey! That was aimed at me!
320
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,291
-Yeah, no shit.
-Guys, maybe let's focus?
321
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:54,264
-Hey, who's our
balloon guy on this?
-Draw me eating a bone.
322
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,934
-Say the word,
I'll give Gary a call.
323
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:58,373
-Maybe one of those helicopters
we used to kill Bin Laden!
324
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,998
-We? Were you present?
-I'm still a goddamn American!
325
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,065
-(all shouting angrily)
-TV time!
326
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,674
-And that's why
that son of a bitch was smiling.
327
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,508
-Oh, whoa. You're JK Simmons.
-Yeah, Hi.
328
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,653
-This is crazy! I'm writing
a screenplay right now,
329
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,449
like literally right here.
Will you give me your opinion?
330
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,622
-You have a lot of talent.
Never give up on your dreams.
331
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,390
-Uh, that was
just the title page.
-It was great.
332
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,390
-Titanium Rex:
There's my man!
-(spits)
333
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,022
-Ooh. What's wrong?
-What's wrong!
334
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,057
I'm Bridget Fonda
and you're Jennifer Jason Leigh!
335
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,103
-That's what's wrong.
-Oh, I got that reference.
336
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,698
-You're totally biting my style.
I'm surprised you didn't shave
your head.
337
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,100
-Got an appointment
at Supercuts at three.
338
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,973
-Listen, Rex, I asked you
to meet me because I have
some bad news.
339
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,973
I'm just not feeling
your character.
340
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,205
You're too hard to get
on the screen. You can fly.
341
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,110
You're bulletproof.
Your metal fist turns into stuff
whenever it's convenient.
342
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,114
You're what we call a Mary Sue.
343
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:49,016
-A Mary Sue's a character
with no flaws, originating
in "Star Trek" fan fiction.
344
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:52,449
-There's a beanbag chair
over there with your name on it,
skinny jeans!
345
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:56,215
Unless you can tell me
some sort of weakness or--
or vulnerability...
346
00:15:56,256 --> 00:16:00,026
-I'm sorry. I-- I can't.
347
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,230
Uh, well, I guess that means
there's no reason for us
348
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:06,073
to hang out anymore?
349
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,039
-Are you-- Are you waiting
for me to say something?
350
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,038
Because your statement was true,
absolutely.
351
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:18,677
-What if we steal an invitation
to a League of Freedom
black-tie charity event?
352
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,751
-I enter the skylight
on a wire rig, looking awesome.
353
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:26,091
-I'm disguised as Johnny Franco,
world salsa dance champion.
354
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,789
-Lex, for the love of Christ,
we're talking about
salsa lessons!
355
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,391
Just be the leader
and tell us what to do!
356
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,434
-Okay, I-- I--
-(others shouting)
357
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,660
-Mind if I interrupt
this "Gong Show"?
358
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:40,496
-While you've been
circle-jerking onto your
participation trophies,
359
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,573
I've been watching
my master plan unfold.
360
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,673
I've planted a spy
in the League of Freedom:
361
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,306
JK Simmons!
362
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,082
-He was great in "Labor Day."
Oh, that's very much my tempo.
363
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,552
-Soon, he will possess
the knowledge we need
364
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:58,221
to destroy Titanium Rex
and the League forever!
365
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:00,821
-Devizo is back, baby!
(chanting) Devizo!
366
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,223
-(others chanting)
Devizo! Devizo!
367
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,787
-Devizo!
-Gong!
368
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:09,155
(all laughing)
369
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,326
-Wait. How long has that picture
been on the back of that board?
370
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,204
-Is that really important
to the narrative, here?
-I would like to know.
371
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:20,206
-You were right, Ranger.
Actors aren't real people.
372
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,180
I was just
a fascinating subject to him,
373
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,680
someone he could
admire and study.
374
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,152
But he was never a friend.
375
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,581
-Ranger, you're awfully quiet.
-I'm sorry, Rex.
376
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,547
I saw "Whiplash" last night.
377
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:36,855
JK's biceps alone said more
about that character than I know
about any of you.
378
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,429
The man's a genius, and my life
may be forever changed.
379
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,760
-(alarm beeps)
-Oops! Late for
my drama lessons!
380
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:47,265
-I called in the one favor
JK owed me to set this up, Rex.
381
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,740
You think JK is just out there
handing out favors?
382
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,769
-Eh, he went digging too deep.
383
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,744
I want to help him,
but I don't know if I have
that much trust.
384
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:58,384
-Trust? This is Hollywood!
If he hasn't offered you cocaine
385
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,111
or asked you for a sexual favor
yet, he's one of the good ones!
386
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:04,178
Now, I don't care what you
have to do. Get out there
and make it happen.
387
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,847
-Go ahead. Show me
how the Black Saturn
would wash a car.
388
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:10,186
-I hope you're taking notes.
He'd do it just like this.
389
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,633
-Nope. I think he'd scrub
a little harder than that.
390
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,559
-JK, I have something
I want to show you.
391
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,895
A hero's not a hero
without a weakness to overcome.
392
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,301
-I knew all along
you weren't a Mary Sue!
393
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,244
-Mary Sue? Have you guys
been reading my fanfics?
394
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,571
I had Mary Sue blow Papa Smurf.
395
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,606
-It's in the secret
subterranean level.
396
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,912
-Cool. Uh, let me just put
my glasses on,
397
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:36,675
so I'm not stumbling
around in the dark.
398
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:40,286
-Others: Ooh! Ah!
-Devizor: Everyone get comfy!
399
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,460
You're about to enjoy
Titanium Rex's final curtain.
400
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:47,191
-What lies below is
so dangerous,
401
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,457
only I know the way in.
402
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,756
-(beeps)
403
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,698
-Easy as pie.
404
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,743
-Robo-Dino: I never thought
I'd say this, but this is better
than "Whiplash."
405
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,439
-(static crackling)
-(indistinct shouting)
406
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,382
-They're too far underground
for the signal to carry!
-Come on!
407
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,579
-Here it is,
my only weakness.
408
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,682
The anti-magno rod.
409
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,754
So powerful, it cancels out
the Earth's magnetic field.
410
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:14,253
It saps my powers,
weakens my muscles,
411
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:17,217
and with prolonged exposure,
could kill me.
412
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:20,357
So whatever you do,
don't open that--
413
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,433
Well, son of a goddamn bitch!
(groans)
414
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:26,373
-(laughs evilly)
415
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,869
-You... (coughs) betrayed me!
416
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,801
-I'm a Hollywood actor!
It's in our nature.
417
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,707
-The rod we-- weakens my body...
418
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,240
-(farts)
-...including my bowels.
419
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,476
But I won't apologize for that!
(groans)
420
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,682
-And the Oscar
for Best Supporting Corpse
421
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,945
-goes to-- Aah!
-(Lex grunts)
422
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,424
-Oscar revoked.
423
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,924
-Lex, how did you--
424
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:52,555
-I know every inch
of this mansion, remember?
I'm the OG mole.
425
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:55,732
Hmm. Since I'm
only half Septopian,
426
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,802
it looks like
I'm invulnerable to--
427
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,770
-(farts)
-Okay. Okay, let's get
this thing put away.
428
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,840
I got a little cocky there.
That was my shoe, by the way.
429
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,770
-Lex, thank you.
-Oh, Daddy.
430
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,305
I don't think you understand.
431
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:11,481
-I'm not gonna let anyone
kill you but me,
432
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:15,551
after I've shown the whole world
who you really are.
433
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,292
-No, no. I'm not buying it.
434
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,818
Deep down, you wanted
to save your old man.
435
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,294
-Um, you shot me in the face,
436
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,394
you dick!
-(groans)
437
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,535
-I don't know.
Try blowing on it!
-Stop it! Enough, enough!
438
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:38,468
-I don't understand it.
By now, he should have--
439
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:43,036
-What?
-Another mole, Devizo?
440
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:47,675
You should write
the next "Taken" movie.
They love recycled plots.
441
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,384
-(glass shatters)
442
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,476
-(static crackles)
-No!
443
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:54,548
-Whoa, wait. What's happening?
People don't like
those "Taken" movies?
444
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:58,487
-But it's not a total loss.
Now that we know where
he hides his secret--
445
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,555
-You mean, this?
-Ooh!
446
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,734
-Ah-ah. Finders keepers.
447
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,803
-You! You--
-Hold the only key
to defeating Titanium Rex?
448
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,344
Good point, Devizo.
449
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,799
So as of now,
I'm in charge around here.
450
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:14,938
Does anyone have
a problem with that?
451
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,552
-(clapping)
452
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:22,316
-(chanting)
Lex! Lex! Lex!
453
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:24,979
-(sadly)
Yay! Bravo! Bravo!
Give it up.
454
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:28,587
-So, how we feeling
about that lease?
455
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,487
-He was Devizo's mole
the whole time.
456
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:36,556
-I knew that stage parrot was
up to no good!
457
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,926
Still, that last 15 minutes
of "Whiplash"--
458
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,795
-Mm, perfect.
-It's perfect, yeah.
459
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:42,873
-I wonder what
he was trying to steal.
460
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,612
-Uh, yeah, I--
We'll never know.
461
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,608
-It just seems like it was
an awful lot of trouble
to go through just to--
462
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,011
-Anyway, movie sure
isn't happening now.
463
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,753
He sure had me fooled.
464
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:55,549
-Not me! I know
a butt baby when I see one.
465
00:21:55,582 --> 00:21:56,822
-Where's Cooch?
466
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:58,649
-Hey, Juno's daddy!
467
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:01,485
-I need you
to sign 200 pictures.
-I don't feel like it.
468
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:03,721
-Sorry, man!
That ain't quite my tempo!
469
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:06,556
-(electricity crackling)
-(screaming) All right!
I'll do it! I'll do it.
470
00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:09,103
-And make those
sons of bitches out to eBay.
471
00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,698
-(theme music playing)
472
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:30,054
-(monkey chitters)
-Stupid monkey!
38901
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