All language subtitles for SuperMansion.S01E09_English

BLACK SATURN:
Hello, little piggy.
(WHIMPERING)

Going to the market?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(WHIMPERING)

Oh.

BLACK SATURN:
Oink, oink.
(GASPING)

How's my
favorite porker?

Saturn, please.
Stop calling me that.

What are you
going to do?

Wee, wee, wee
all the way home?

Okay, I'm leaving.

No, no, no.
Come back.

I'm just having some fun.
You have the stuff?

You know, all of my other
clients come to the shop.

Dear God,
they're glorious.

Damn right,
they're glorious.

I don't make
shit rocket shoes.

Not so fast.

Your check bounced.

Your check bounced.
No way. My mom deposits
50 large into my account
every week.

No way. My mom deposits
50 large into my account
every week.

I'll write you
another one.

What are you, 70?

No more checks.
I want cash.

Fine. But don't come crying
to me if you get mugged

carrying around
3 bucks

and my Blockbuster
membership card?

and my Blockbuster
membership card?
A Blockbuster...
Geez.

A Blockbuster...
Geez.

Call me when you get
your allowance, dipshit.

No.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

You want some Cooch?

(GASPS) Ugh.

Don't get mad,
get Brad.

TITANIUM REX: This is
ri-goddamn-diculous.

TITANIUM REX: This is
ri-goddamn-diculous.
Our utility bills
are killing us.

Our utility bills
are killing us.

I thought
I was clear

about the five-minute
shower rule, people.

Minutes?
I thought you said hours.

I've been leaving
the water running

just to make quota.

This electric bill
is brutal, Jewbot.

Do you have to charge
to full power every night?

Only if you want to access
all of my essential functions,

like this laugh track.

(BEEPS)
(LAUGH TRACK PLAYS)

Yeah, I could
cut back.

Made something special
for you, Cooch.

Mouse pancakes?
You think I'm five years old?

Mouse pancakes?
You think I'm five years old?
Oh, wait, I guess
in people years, I am.

Oh, wait, I guess
in people years, I am.

I did not hear that.

Whelp, I'm off to yoga.

Oh, well.
Namaste, fuck-face.

She's, uh, really
warming up to me.

You need a lift?

Oh, thanks.
That's very sweet of you,

but I can, um,
fly, so I'm good.

Cool, yeah. I'll drive you.
You'll owe me a solid.

Jewbot, buddy, hey,
my GPS is on the fritz.

Could you navigate?

That seems like a great use
of a $3 billion automaton.

Okay, there's no reason
the cable bill should be
kissing four digits.

Who ordered
Spanky Doodle Handy?

Innocent mistake.

I thought it was
a boxing picture.

Still, quite
inspirational.

I am shutting it down.

No more cable.
Beg pardon?

Relax, Ranger.
We've got Cableverse.

It's nearly impossible
to cancel.

I think I can handle
a cable company sales rep.

Not without Ma Bell.

(CLATTERING)

(BEEPING)

Goddamn
this foul future.

Turn left
in 300 feet.

Or don't.
Whatever.

Still kind of trying
to figure out what
I'm doing in the car.

Cool, yeah. One day, maybe
you could return the favor.

Okay, we just passed
the yoga studio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll turn around.

Right after we make
a quick stop.

Blammo.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Looks like
we're all alone.

Bone on the table?

Uh... Actually, I was
thinking we should talk?

Son of a bitch.

We need to communicate.
You can't even look me

in the eye for more
than three seconds.

I'm a cat, dude.

Eye contact is a sign
of aggression.

But I want to know
the real Cooch.

Okay. I...
Like to bone.

Game over.
Let's bone.

Fine. But afterwards,
we're gonna talk. Hard.

Oh, you're still on hold?
Well, I'd give up.

You know,
life's too short.

You know, I'm not
being general.
You're old.

There's a box of Playboys
in the attic. You can ha...
(PHONE RINGS)

Hi.

Nice to meet you too, Rajesh.

Well, yes, you can.

I... I'm, I'm calling
to cancel my service.

Oh, that's great.

He's just got to
get the authorization
from his manager.

Thanks for the update.

Oh, no, I didn't realize
I'd been a customer
for 20 years.

A loyalty offer?

Well, that... Sounds like
a pretty sweet deal.

No, no, no.
"Pretty sweet" is not
the same as "Yes".

I did not say yes, Rajesh.

(DIAL TONE)
Rajesh!

That fast-talking
son of a bitch just
sold me a platinum package.

Cheers for
the red, white and blue.

(MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ Porn in the U.S.A. ♪

They want to
play hardball?

They want to
play hardball?
Well, I'm cutting
the goddamn cord.

Well, I'm cutting
the goddamn cord.

(GRUNTS)

Why do you hate me?
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Oh, Rajesh.
Nice of you...
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, how'd you
know that I...

Doesn't negate
the contract?

Well, I'd still
like to cancel...

Well, I'd still
like to cancel...
(LINE CLICKS)
God damn it.
He hung up.

(LINE CLICKS)
God damn it.
He hung up.

Tell it to someone
who isn't nursing a case
of red, white and blue balls.

Whew! Dang.

Shit, man.
(PANTING)

So, what are
you thinking about?

Damn, thought
you'd forget

about that "Talk about
our feelings" bullshit.

Cooch, I don't want to
wind up like my parents,

sitting on the couch
watching television.

I think Pootie Tang
might be on Crackle.

Well, shit.
Can't pass that up.

Here we are.
This won't take a minute.

Yeah, you guys can
come with me. I insist.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Hey, Saturn, just, like,
quick little question.

What are we
doing here?

What are we
doing here?
Just keep your mouth shut
and follow my lead.

Just keep your mouth shut
and follow my lead.

Oh, God, close the door.
Quickly.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.

Aren't you going to
invite me in?

Don't do it. He can't come
inside if we don't ask him.

That's vampires.

Fine. (GROANS)

Come on in...
Son.

Saturn, you grew up
in this palace?

Don't be a hater.

I'm still just Saty
from the block.

Oh, son, I wish you'd
told us you were coming.

So you could change
the alarm code

and get me arrested
like the last time?

Yes, that is why
I wish that.

I see you're still
running around in that
horrid little costume.

I'm a dark avenger
on a legitimate super team.

Yes, your
government job.

Yes, your
government job.
(BOTH SHUDDER)
I have my own bootleg
Mexican action figure,

(BOTH SHUDDER)
I have my own bootleg
Mexican action figure,

Saturno Negro,
and my own robot manservant.

Come again?
Good God!

You're never giving us
grandkids, are you?

You're never giving us
grandkids, are you?
Actually, Mom,
I have some big news.

Actually, Mom,
I have some big news.

I'd like to introduce you
to my girlfriend.

I'm sorry.
Uh, come again?

(WHISPERS) Saturn,
you want me to pretend
I'm your girlfriend?

You owe me
for taking you to yoga.

You never took me
to yoga!

Son, whatever scam
you're running, we
don't have time today.

Dudley's nanny, Veruschka,
didn't show up

and we have to find
a replacement

or make him a sandwich,
or whatever nannies do.

I'm sorry,
who's Dudley?

My stupid
little brother.

The golden child.

Hi, big brother.

(GROANS)
Hello, Dudley.

Oh, he's so cute!

Dudley, tell your brother's
friend what you want to be
when you grow up.

A doctor, a lawyer
and president.

Oh, an adult! Well,
that makes one of you.

(YELLING) Get out
of here, Dudley!

I have to talk
to Mom and Dad.

(CRYING LOUDLY)

Oh, great.
Now what do we do?

Perhaps someone
should comfort him.

His nanny is sick.

We'll just have to let him cry
until he passes out.

Mind if the unfeeling robot
takes a crack?

Eh, oh...

Dudley, would you
like a hug?

What is "hug"?

Okay, guys...

We're very busy.
Very busy.

Mmm.

Robot man, will you
be my best friend?

Oh, we'd be happy
to pay you.

That won't be
necessary.

That won't be
necessary.
I'm on a quest
to understand humankind.

I'm on a quest
to understand humankind.

The chance to touch this child
is payment enough.

That came out weird.

The '70s were a real
heyday for fans
of untamed pubic hair.

Oh, no, you listen
to me, Rajesh.

I will not be tricked
into another upgrade.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Well... Okay.

I'm... I'm... I'm glad
we understand each other.

I guess I can come down
to the branch office.

Are you sure you can't
just do it over the... Hello?
(DIAL TONE)

Done!
Uh-huh.

I've just got to go down
to the branch office
and seal the deal.

Did he give you
an address?

Oh. No.

Good luck
with all that, Rex.

Well, I'll just be here
learning about Miss July
1994's favorite movies.

Oh, she likes
NeverEnding Story,
Steel Magnolias,

and my erection
is gone.

I'm not letting
this happen.

All alone again.

Wanna talk, or...
Oh.

(YOWLING AND MOANING)

So, with rocket shoes
I can expand

my crime-fighting territory,
look awesome,

and take the Black Saturn
brand straight
into the cosmos.

(CHUCKLES) Not literally,
'cause you can't
breathe in space.

True. But even
at a few thousand feet,

you would need
a pressurized suit.

I don't remember asking
your opinion, Dudley.

Oh, I've heard enough.

Oh, I've heard enough.
Cliff, get the checkbook,
will you?

Cliff, get the checkbook,
will you?

Was it 50 large
you wanted?

"Pay to the order of
no fucking way

"in the amount of
over my dead body"?

We're done bankrolling
your buffoonish lifestyle,
son.

We're done bankrolling
your buffoonish lifestyle,
son.
So, that's it?
I'm cut off?

So, that's it?
I'm cut off?

You want an allowance,
earn it.
How?

We have a multinational
corporation.

You can have a respectable gig
at Optacorp, GNN Telecom,
Wiener Bat.

Wiener Bat?
With the stupid uniforms?

Only losers work there.

Son, if you want
your allowance,

you have to prove you can work
a full day at a real job.

I respect your opinion,
but I have one thing to say
in my defense.

(SOBBING)

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

Hey, buddy.

Oh, oh, hey, Lex.

Uh... I'm just
playing Fallout 4.

It's totally kickass.
(LAUGHS AND SOBS)

Saturn, I can tell
you're crying.

So? It's Fallout 4.

I've waited years
for this game,
and it's beautiful.

I used the character creator
to make a guy,

and I'm gonna love him
and take care of him

and give him
whatever he wants.

Don't worry, son.

Don't worry, son.
I'll never make
you feel stupid

I'll never make
you feel stupid

or choose Dudley
over you.

Saturn, I totally
get it.

Parents really suck
sometimes.

Oh, how would you know?
Rex is a cool dad!

No, not him.
My mom.

She's... Not very nice,

but I still try
to please her.

And even when
our parents are assholes,

we still want their love.

(SOBBING)

Oh, come on,
don't cry. Please?

I... I'm not
I'm not crying.

I, um... I... I...
I'm laughing at...

At the
the absurdity of life.

At the
the absurdity of life.
(LAUGHS AND SOBS)

(LAUGHS AND SOBS)

Saturn.

(GUNSHOTS)
Oh, hey. Looks like
your guy's in trouble.

Let me help him out.

Oh, my gosh,
I just blew that up.

(GIGGLES)

Oh, shoot.
Saturn?

(SOBBING)

Whoa.
(THUDDING AND CRASHING)

(GROANING)

How can I earn my
parents' money... Love?

I meant love.

Just show me a sign.

Holy shit.
There it is.

Thanks for the ice cream,
robot man. (CHUCKLES)

Dudley, why were you
so adamant we go
through this alley?

Dudley, why were you
so adamant we go
through this alley?
You lost or something,
ese?

You lost or something,
ese?

This is Hector's alley.

(GUNS COCK)

Initiating defense
protocol.

(BEEPS)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTING)

(GUN CLICKS)
(SCREAMS)

Dudley, are
you all right?

I've got a message
for Hector.
(GUN COCKS)

Dudley, we don't play
with guns.
Oh, my God.

Wait, do you
know these men?

Wait, do you
know these men?
I maybe kind of
pissed them off

I maybe kind of
pissed them off

I maybe kind of
pissed them off
by selling some
"high-grade shit"
on their turf.

by selling some
"high-grade shit"
on their turf.

Where on Earth
did you get drugs?

I stole 'em
from Optacorp.

My dad owns it.

My dad owns it.
Dudley,
that's illegal.

Dudley,
that's illegal.

What is "illegal"?

Oh, cut the shit, Dudley.

Privet, Dudley.

The fuck?

(SCREAMS)
(CRACKLING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

Batter up.

Could I offer you
a fried cheese wedge
to finish you off?

No. I mean,
to go with your wiener.

Screw you, buddy.
I have a thyroid condition.

No, wrap it up.
I'll take it, but, you know,

you know, watch it.

Saturn, quit scaring
the customers.

The lemonade
needs jumping.

Jump, motherfucker,
Jump.

(SCREAMING)
Stop hitting me, dude.

Look at you.
I'm impressed.

I know.
I look tee-ight.

I think it's awesome
you're showing your parents

I think it's awesome
you're showing your parents
you can be
a responsible employee.

you can be
a responsible employee.

Thanks, Lex.
Hey, you want a free wiener?

I can't figure out
the register,

so I'm just
giving them away.

But, but, but...
That's it. You're fired.

(LAUGHS)
Yeah, nice try.

I'm the boss's son.

Then go stink up
another one of his companies.

Fine. I... I will.

Let's go, Lex.

Actually, I was just
taking this skirt back
to the Gap, so...

Well, a...
After that, then.

Well, Rajesh put up
a good fight,

but after 15 hours and one
Freedom of Information Act
request, we found it.

Oh, yay...

(DOOR RATTLES)
What?

Argh. Hello?

Rajesh. Open up.

Haha. Looks like
I've been porn again.

(GRUNTS)
God damn it.

What the hell?

(PHONE RINGING)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

No, Rex.
Let it go.

You can't win this game.

Rajesh,
you son of a bitch.

I ought to...
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

What? You've got
great news?

Exciting upgrade offer
to go fuck myself?

I will find you,
Rajesh.

If I have to scour the planet,
I will find you, Rajesh!

(GRUNTING)

You know what you need, Rex?
(SHUSHING) You hear that?

MULTIPLE VOICES:
Hello, this is Rajesh.
I spoke with my manager and...

RAJESH:
Hello, this is Rajesh.

I spoke with my manager...
(SCREAMS) There you are!

What are you doing?
Who are you?

Don't you play coy
with me, Rajesh.

Don't you play coy
with me, Rajesh.
I'm very sorry, sir,
but I've never spoken
to you in my life.

I'm very sorry, sir,
but I've never spoken
to you in my life.

MULTIPLE VOICES:
Hi, it's Rajesh.
My name is Rajesh.

Hello, this is Rajesh.
My name is Rajesh.

No!

Cooch, come on.
We need to communicate.

Shut up.
I'm watching this.

Uh, the TV
is still busted.

Nah, man.
The show in my head.

Well, now I missed
the ending. Shit.

That's it. Cooch, tell me
what's in your head.

We can talk about that.

Mmm... Okay.

Jingle sound, pega-corn,
bloop-blop-bleep-blanky...

Wait, what's a taco?
Get out of my head, pie man.

Stop, Cooch.
Just stop.

MAN: Dudley,
Dudley, Dudley.

Did you really think
you could

steal my best girl
and get away with it?

Dudley, sex trafficking?

Whoa. I'm not pimping.
It's just an illegal
sweatshop thing.

A good seamstress is
at a big premium right now.

Oh. Well,
that's not so bad.

Plus, he encroached
on my gunrunning operation.

God damn it, Dudley.

Initiating distress signal.
(BEEPING)

This is Jewbot two-niner
calling for backup.

Hey, dude, I thought
of something
we can talk about.

I was thinking that...
ALARM:
Emergency.

League member
requesting backup
from any available teammates.

Emergency.

Nope, it's gone.
God damn it.

Rajesh. Show yourself,
you silky-voiced cipher.
(SCREAMS)

Where is my Rajesh?
Are you my Rajesh? Are you?

Please hit me.
I need to feel something.

BLACK SATURN:
Hi, this is Rajesh,

and I have an exciting
promotion for you.

You can get...
Saturn?

Oh, hey, guys.

W... Wait... What
are you doing here?

I'm just doing
a little telemarketing
to prove I'm a man.

My dad owns Cableverse.

My dad owns Cableverse.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, holy shit.
You can cancel my cable.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, holy shit.
You can cancel my cable.

Oh, uh, I really
don't think I should.

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, come on.

It's your dad's company.
You can do whatever you want.

Oh, sure. (SCOFFS)
My dad totally listens to me.

And respects me.

Oh, who am I kidding?

My dad thinks
I'm a total knob.

If I cancel the cable,
he'll cut me off
in a heartbeat.

If I cancel the cable,
he'll cut me off
in a heartbeat.
Saturn, you're an adult...
According to the law.

Saturn, you're an adult...
According to the law.

It is time you stood up
for yourself and made
your own decisions.

But he's my dad.

I am your leader.

You're right, Rex. I...
(GUN COCKS)

AMERICAN RANGER:
Don't do it.

If you cancel that cable,
I've got nothing left.

No premium double dog,
no furry gang-bang...

I'm not beating my meat to
a Steel Magnolias-loving
centerfold from 1994.

I'm better than that.

Give me the gun.
Huh?

Give me the gun.
Huh?
Shoot me.
End this dark charade.
Hey, get off of me. No.

Shoot me.
End this dark charade.
Hey, get off of me. No.

Saturn, do it.

I... I...

Push the button.

BLACK SATURN: I... I...
(SHATTERING)

No.

Hey, Dad,
can Dudley do this?

What?

(RINGING AND
SIRENS WAILING)
No.

You did the right
thing, Saturn.

But at what cost?

Sir, one of your Cableverse
employees terminated
a customer's service.

I see.

Bring him to me.

Psst. Robot man,
get us out of here.

We will need
a distraction.

You said I'd get piece
of your pie, Dudley.

Well, I'm hungry now.

Give me Eastside, the port,
and toss in Michigan,

and we call it a day.

That sounds
like a fair deal.

That sounds
like a fair deal.
Let's shake on it and...

Let's shake on it and...

(SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN)

My Russian is not great.

My Russian is not great.
Did you just tell him
to fuck himself?

Did you just tell him
to fuck himself?

I would never!

I told him
I banged his mom.

If that's true, I will have
a long conversation
with my mother.

But for now, say good-bye
to your precious nanny.

Veruschka!

Dah. Fine, Vitaly.

You can have it all.

No, Dudley.
We've worked too hard.

We didn't spill blood
from Donetsk to Los Angeles

just to have this shitbag
take it from us.

You're right,
Veruschka.

No deal, Vitaly.

Very well.

(GUN COCKS)
Dasvidaniya, Veruschka.

(CRASHING)
Where's the bash?

Nyet. The League of...

(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)
(FIRING)

That is quite a nanny.

Come on.

(GRUNTING)

Well, I've really
made a difference
in that boy's life.

(VERUSHKA GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

Damn, I hate
Russian criminals.
They're dog people.

Cooch, that's
the first personal,

kind of racist thing
you've ever shared with me.

Shit. I guess it is!

You eyeballing me?

Oh, oh, right, right.
Sign of aggression. Sorry.

(MEOWING)

Not the best time
for that, but...
(GROANS)

Sure.

The Cableverse employee
who went rogue, sir.

Hey, let go of him.

You? You canceled
one of our customers?

It's called initiative, Dad.

Or were you looking
for a yes-man?

The job pays $8 an hour.

I was looking for
a yes-man, obviously.

Well, Black Saturn is
his own man, Father.

But since
I worked a full day,

I would like to get
that allowance.

Fine. Go get
your rocket shoes

Fine. Go get
your rocket shoes
or take your fake girlfriend
to dinner or...

or take your fake girlfriend
to dinner or...

Or whatever else
you do to embarrass
our good family name.

Ugh. You're wrong
about your son.

He's a hard worker
and a great guy,

and I am not
a fake girlfriend.

I'mma show you how much
we love each other
with our mouths.

Mmm.

That is the
fakest kiss...

Oh. She just
grabbed his junk!

Well, he finally
bagged one.

Well, he finally
bagged one.
I have to admit,
I'm impressed.

I have to admit,
I'm impressed.

Mmm.
Are you serious, Lex?

I don't need your pity.

All I ever wanted
was your love.

And this is certainly
not that.

Oh! Oh!
Oh, God. Oh!

Hah. Come on,
not-fake girlfriend.

I'm taking you home.

I'm taking you home.
We're making it
a Blockbuster night.

We're making it
a Blockbuster night.

If you can find
a Blockbuster, sure.

So, we going
to third base tonight?

I might let you
bunt into first.
Why not?

Thanks for looking
after me today, Robot man.

I owe you
big time.

I'd rather not you be
indebted to me,
or me to you,

or really engage
in a transaction of any kind.

Can I get a hug
before you go?

Can I get a hug
before you go?
I don't see why not...

I don't see why not...

If you tell anyone about this,
I'll tear your head off

and melt it
into a doorknob.

What is Dudley?

Great job
getting the cable cut.

Great job
getting the cable cut.
This is...
Really fun.

This is...
Really fun.

Well, we could talk.

Get to know each other.

Yeah, no, no,
no, no, no.

How's Ranger
holding up?

How's Ranger
holding up?
Oh, (CHUCKLES) I think
he'll be just fine.

Oh, (CHUCKLES) I think
he'll be just fine.

Holy McCrackles!

BLACK SATURN:
Pretty sweet kicks, right?

Nice, son. Where'd you get
the money though?

BLACK SATURN: Oh, I kind of
photo-deposited the check.

BLACK SATURN: Oh, I kind of
photo-deposited the check.
And this is
certainly not that.

And this is
certainly not that.

A photo deposit.
That is... Interesting.

Well, kinda defeats the whole
taking-a-stand thing, but...

Yeah, cool. Hey, I got you
a little something.

Aww.
(GIGGLES)

That's so thoughtful.

Oh, wow.
Rocket shoes.

For girls.
That's why they're pink.

You know
I can fly, right?

Oh, looks like we're having
our first fight. Peace.

(GRUNTING)

And you're
dating Saturn.

Okay.
BLACK SATURN: Whoo-hoo.
Yeah. Awesome.

Okay.
BLACK SATURN: Whoo-hoo.
Yeah. Awesome.
Dudley, bath time,
lapochka.

Dudley, bath time,
lapochka.

Bol'shoe spacibo,
Veruschka.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Oh, my beautiful boy.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)