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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:03,396 (whistles) HEY, MOM. HEY, MAX. 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,737 HI. HEY. 3 00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,472 JUST GRABBING A QUICK CUP OF JOE BEFORE I HIT THE HIGHWAY. 4 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,907 (Polly) IT'S ANOTHER TYPICAL MORNING 5 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,881 WHEN MY EX-HUSBAND WALKS IN LIKE HE LIVES HERE. 6 00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,851 REMIND ME, JULIAN, HOW MUCH DOES HIGHWAY ADOPTION PAY? (coffee pouring) 7 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,220 NOTHIN'. 8 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,848 I DON'T DO IT FOR THE MONEY. 9 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,423 I DO IT FOR THE FREE GARBAGE. 10 00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:20,891 HEY! (chuckles) (splatters) 11 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,561 DISH SOAP WORKS. 12 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,390 I GET TO BEAUTIFY THE LANDSCAPE, I GET TO WORK WITH A SPEAR, 13 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,986 AND I GOT A LETTER OF COMMENDATION 14 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,897 FROM THE CORONER'S OFFICE AFTER I FOUND THAT DEAD BODY. 15 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,830 WELL, I, FOR ONE, AM VERY PROUD OF YOU, JULIAN, 16 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,366 AND I LOVE THE ORANGE VEST. 17 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:35,742 THIS WAS ON THE BODY. 18 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,739 I DON'T WANNA GO TO SOCCER! 19 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,413 LAST TUESDAY, AT 6:20 P.M., MY DAUGHTER REALIZED 20 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,683 SHE POSSESSED ALL OF THE POWER IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. 21 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:49,083 I'LL ONLY EAT MY BROCCOLI IF WE CAN EAT IT IN THE HOT TUB. 22 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:51,917 IT'S ALMOST BEDTIME, AND IT IS VERY COLD, 23 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:55,392 AND I AM NOT IN BIKINI SHAPE RIGHT NOW. 24 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:56,923 OKAY? 25 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,732 (crunches) 26 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,630 WOW, THOSE ARE TINY BITES. 27 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:03,933 THANKS. 28 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,434 IT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT. 29 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,596 WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE TO GET YOU GO TO SOCCER? 30 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:08,935 MOMMY'S ALREADY LATE FOR WORK, SWEETIE. 31 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,439 I'M ALREADY LATE FOR MY BUTT! 32 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,911 OKAY. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. (laughs) AH. 33 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,910 I GOT THIS, OKAY? (panting) 34 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:17,152 NAT, IF YOU PROMISE TO GO TO SOCCER, 35 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,748 I WILL LET YOU PICK UP GARBAGE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD LATER, 36 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,750 AND YOU CAN KEEP ALL THE TREASURE YOU FIND. 37 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,952 LAST WEEK, I FOUND AN ARTIFICIAL LEG. 38 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,924 GIVE ME THE CLOTHES. I'LL GET HER DRESSED. (whispers) OKAY. 39 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,263 AND HERE WE GO. I GOT HER. 40 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,088 OKAY, I GOT HER. NO, YOU DON'T! 41 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,593 YES, I DO! NO, YOU DON'T! 42 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,394 IF I LET HER STAY HOME FROM SOCCER, 43 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:36,256 CAN YOU GUYS WATCH HER WHILE I'M AT WORK? 44 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,467 DON'T GIVE ME THE FACE. 45 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:40,428 YOU'RE CAPITULATING TO A MUNCHKIN TERRORIST. 46 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,738 WHAT IF ALL TERRORISTS WERE MUNCHKINS? 47 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,670 OH, THEN WE WOULDN'T SEE IT COMING, WOULD WE? 48 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,905 (laughs) (wheezes) 49 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,081 POLLY, LOOK, YOU'RE THE BOSS. MM-HMM. 50 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,751 YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, 51 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,080 AND THE CHILD ADAPTS. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. 52 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,345 YOU JUST GO TO WORK. YEAH. 53 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,024 SHE NEEDS TO GO TO SOCCER, SHE'LL FIND A WAY THERE. 54 00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,591 THAT'S WHAT WE DID WITH YOU. 55 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,290 (mouthing words) THE ADULTS WERE THE STARS OF THE SHOW, 56 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,792 AND THE CHILDREN WERE THE AUDIENCE, 57 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,134 AND YOU KEPT COMING BACK 'CAUSE WE WERE A SMASH HIT. 58 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,600 LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU PICKED UP ON ALL THIS, 59 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,828 BUT YOU GUYS DOING THE WHOLE PUTTING-YOUR-NEEDS-FIRST THING 60 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,633 KIND OF LEFT ME WITH A BIG BLACK HOLE INSIDE. 61 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,136 THAT'S SO DRAMATIC. WE ALL HAVE ONE OF THOSE. OH, BUT I LOVE YOUR BIG BLACK HOLE. 62 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,099 I DO. I THINK IT MAKES YOU MYSTERIOUS, INTERESTING. STEPHEN HAWKING WOULD LOVE YOUR BLACK HOLE. 63 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,937 MAKES YOU FUN, UNIQUE. I WISH MY BLACK HOLE WAS INTRIGUING AS HERS. 64 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,783 YOURS IS MARVELOUS. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 65 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,439 I DON'T WANT NATALIE TO FEEL EMOTIONALLY ABANDONED, OKAY? 66 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,447 KIDS COME FIRST. SO YEAH, 67 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,379 THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE CHALLENGING RIGHT NOW, 68 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:28,875 BUT SHE IS GONNA GROW UP 69 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,146 TO BE A SECURE, WELL-ADJUSTED YOUNG WOMAN 70 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,294 WITH HER OWN APARTMENT. 71 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,490 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 72 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,191 ALL RIGHT, WELL, SHE'S DRESSED. 73 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,393 THEY'LL BE THE ONLY TEAM WITH A PRINCESS, 74 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,634 BUT SHE WOULDN'T WEAR ANYTHING ELSE. 75 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,489 SEE? WE ACKNOWLEDGED HER NEEDS, AND SHE'S GONNA RESPOND 76 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,998 BY STICKING WITH THE PLAN, WHICH IS MOMMY GOES TO WORK, 77 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,469 AND SHE GOES TO SOCCER. 78 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,568 *** 79 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,671 I ASKED NATALIE TO STOP TOUCHING THE COFFEE BEANS, 80 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,143 AND SHE SAID THAT MY MAMA WAS MY BUTT. 81 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,413 (chuckles) (door bells jingle) 82 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,412 I COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD "YO MAMA" COMEBACK, 83 00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,384 AND NOW I FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF. 84 00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:01,182 I AM SO SORRY. SHE REFUSED TO GO TO SOCCER. 85 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,375 SHE'S IN A BIT OF A REBELLIOUS PHASE, 86 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,417 AND I'M AFRAID THAT TOO MUCH DISCIPLINE'S 87 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,592 GONNA LEAD RIGHT TO A STRIPPER POLE. 88 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,089 SHE'S 6. 89 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,920 WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO REBEL AGAINST, CORN SYRUP? 90 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,887 WHY DOES THIS GIRL UPSET ME SO MUCH? 91 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,056 (telephone rings) OH, PERFECT. 92 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,365 (ring) OKAY, OKAY. 93 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,228 SWEETIE... HA HA HA HA. (ring, beep) 94 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,727 HEY, SCOTT. 95 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,898 SCOTT IS THIS SUPER HUNKY MAN-NURSE 96 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,406 I'VE BEEN GOING OUT WITH. 97 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,238 OH, MY GOD. THIS IS SO PERFECT 'CAUSE WE'RE BOTH DIVORCED 98 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,244 AND WE BOTH HAVE KIDS. UH-HUH. 99 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,376 SO IF OUR KIDS GREW UP AND FELL IN LOVE, 100 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,181 WOULD... THAT MAKE US BROTHER AND SISTER, 101 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,752 OR WOULD YOU BECOME MY DAD? 102 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:35,081 YEAH. I HATE MATH. 103 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,275 (laughs) 104 00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,747 I WOULD LOVE TO HANG OUT TOMORROW, 105 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,115 BUT NATALIE HAS TAP CLASS, 106 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,852 AND HER REFUSAL TO GET IN THE CAR WILL PROBABLY EAT UP-- 107 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:44,058 OH, I DON'T KNOW-- LET'S SAY FIVE HOURS. 108 00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:45,631 LET ME CALL YOU LATER. BYE. 109 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,429 (beep) 110 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,461 OKAY, POLLY, I DON'T MEAN TO BE A NARC, 111 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:52,767 BUT I THINK SHE SHOULD BE WEARING GLOVES. 112 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,400 LOOK, MOMMY, I'M CHEESE! 113 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,736 MM. 114 00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:00,540 -- Captions by VITA -- 115 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,744 (crickets chirping) 116 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,935 SCOTT ASKED YOU OUT, 117 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,407 AND YOU SAID NO? 118 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,276 YES. NATALIE'S REALLY TESTING ME RIGHT NOW. 119 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,945 I THINK IT SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE TO BAIL ON HER. 120 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,553 SHE'S MY DAUGHTER. I PUT HER FIRST. 121 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,556 I WONDER, THOUGH, IF SHE NEEDS YOU 122 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,918 AS MUCH AS YOU THINK SHE DOES, OR IF YOU NEED HER 123 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,627 TO NEED YOU AS MUCH AS... 124 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,159 WHATEVER MATCHES THE BEGINNING OF WHAT I WAS SAYING. 125 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,234 YOU JUST LIKE TO THINK THAT BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER 126 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,473 ABOUT PUTTING ALL OF YOUR NEEDS BEFORE MINE WHEN I WAS LITTLE. 127 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,829 OKAY, SWEETIE, WE GOTTA GET 128 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,597 TO OUR COMMEDIA DELL'ARTE WORKSHOP. 129 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:31,336 SO JUST TAKE THE 2 TO THE A OR THE B TO THE 1. 130 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,812 WELL, THAT'S NOT RUNNING EXPRESS RIGHT NOW. (siren wailing in distance) 131 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,110 JUST TAKE THE 2 ALL THE WAY DOWNTOWN. (singsongy) LOVE YOU! 132 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,683 OKAY. COOL. 133 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,481 TO BE FAIR, WE PUT OUR NEEDS BEFORE EVERYBODY. 134 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,646 BUT YOU LIKE SCOTT, 135 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,524 AND YOU DESERVE TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM AGAIN. 136 00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:49,294 NOBODY "MAKES LOVE" ANYMORE. 137 00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,923 WE MAKE LOVE. WE MAKE A LOT. 138 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,928 WELL, WE'RE-- LIKE, A LOT. 139 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,130 WE MAKE LOVE. 140 00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,001 WELL, THINGS WILL NEVER GET GROSSER THAN THAT. 141 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,629 CAN'T JULIAN TAKE HER? 142 00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,825 JULIAN UNDERESTIMATED HOW HARD IT IS 143 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,266 TO MAINTAIN 2 MILES OF HIGHWAY. 144 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,941 (horn honks) (man) HAVE A GOOD LUNCH, DOUCHEBAG! 145 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:03,940 (laughs) 146 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,441 HA HA. OH, YEAH. 147 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,143 LAUGH IT UP, JESUS FISH! 148 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,535 THAT IS NOT HOW YOU GET INTO HEAVEN. 149 00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:14,878 WELL, YOU ARE OUR CHILD, AND WE PUT YOU FIRST. 150 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,045 SO WHY DON'T YOU LET US TAKE CARE OF NATALIE, 151 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,394 AND YOU GO OUT WITH SCOTT? 152 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,320 YEP, DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, DID YA? 153 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,185 NOPE. WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO 154 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,363 TO THAT WINE AND JAZZ FESTIVAL. 155 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:26,563 HOW ABOUT POLLY COMES FIRST 156 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,034 ON A DAY WHERE WE HAVE NOTHING SCHEDULED? 157 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,161 NO, THIS IS OUR FAMILY PRIORITY. 158 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,567 WELL, WHEN WE GOT MARRIED, WE VOWED THAT WINE AND JAZZ 159 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,170 WOULD ALWAYS BE OUR PRIORITY. 160 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,242 OKAY, YOU GOT IT, KID. 161 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:40,210 THANK YOU, GUYS. I APPRECIATE YOU SACRIFICING YOUR PLANS 162 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,580 SO THAT I CAN-- OH, WHAT THE HELL. MAKE LOVE. 163 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,882 AH. FELT GOOD TO SAY IT, RIGHT? THAT'S MY GIRL. 164 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,084 (chuckles) IT DOES. YOU KNOW WHAT? 165 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,245 I'M GONNA CALL SCOTT. ACTUALLY, SCRATCH THAT. 166 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,553 I'M JUST GONNA GO OVER THERE TOMORROW 167 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,715 AND SURPRISE HIM WITH A LITTLE FLIRTY MOVE 168 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:57,764 I SAW LAST NIGHT ON CINEMA TELEVISIóN LATINO. 169 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:01,231 CHA-CHA-CHA. CHA-CHA... OKAY. 170 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,501 BUT WE'RE REALLY GOING TO THE WINE AND JAZZ FESTIVAL. 171 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,871 NO. WE ARE GOING SOMEPLACE APPROPRIATE FOR NATALIE, 172 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:10,070 LIKE, WELL... PLAYGROUND 173 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,243 OR A LIBRARY 174 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,342 OR... (chuckles) NO, NO, NO, NO. 175 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,184 WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE FESTIVAL. (laughs) OKAY. 176 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,709 AND WE ARE GONNA EDUCATE NATALIE 177 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:22,445 ABOUT THE PROPER RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ADULT AND CHILD. 178 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,860 (door creaks) OH, POLLY, HEY. 179 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:35,800 (imitates Spanish accent) HAY IS FOR HORSES, PAPI. 180 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,699 UH, YOU KNOW, MY KIDS... 181 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,701 (normal voice) HMM. 182 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,773 UH... I CAN SEE THEM. 183 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:42,802 YEAH. DID THEY SEE ME? 184 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:46,566 YEAH. WE DID. (whispers) YES. 185 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,077 (whispers) HI. 186 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,946 (Max) SEE? THIS IS HOW WE DO'S IT. 187 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,251 WE'RE ADULTS ENJOYING OUR ADULT DAY, RIGHT? 188 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,923 AND THE CHILD WALKS BEHIND US, HAPPY TO BE OUT OF THE HOUSE. 189 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:03,793 WHEN WE GET HOME AND NATALIE SLIPS INTO HER SOCCER UNIFORM 190 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,594 WITH NO PROTEST AT ALL, WE'RE GONNA BE HEROES, MAX. 191 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:10,627 HEROES, LIKE BONO. SHE HASN'T SPOKEN IN A WHILE, THOUGH. 192 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,174 SHOULD WE BE CONCERNED? 193 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:15,469 ABSOLUTELY NOT. IF SHE'S HUNGRY OR THIRSTY, SHE'LL ASK. 194 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:16,743 I'M HUNGRY. 195 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,240 SEE? BOOM. MM. 196 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:23,181 OKAY, YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS. IT'S CAVIAR WITH GOAT CHEESE 197 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,440 ON A ROSEMARY CRISP. 198 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,348 THAT LOOKS LIKE BIRD POOP. 199 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,019 I WANNA LEAVE. THIS PLACE IS BORING. 200 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,449 THIS MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT BORING. 201 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,415 THERE'S DOZENS OF TASTINGS, AND THERE'S A DISCUSSION 202 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,594 ON HOME BRINING, AND THE SKIP DICKERSON TRIO 203 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,094 IS ABOUT TO START A SET IN 20 MINUTES. 204 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,755 UGH! (singsongy) WELL, YOU ARE REALLY MISSING OUT. 205 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,625 THE GOAT! I WANNA PET THE GOAT! 206 00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,874 OH, NO, HONEY. THAT'S JUST A DISPLAY GOAT. 207 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,969 WE DON'T PET STRANGE GOATS. 208 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,541 (screaming) 209 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,372 WOW, SHE CAN REALLY THROW HERSELF AROUND. 210 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,506 (continues screaming) NO, I DON'T REMEMBER POLLY ACTING OUT LIKE THAT. 211 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,814 NO, THAT'S BECAUSE WE WERE THE ONES THAT ACTED OUT. 212 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:02,316 (continues screaming) 213 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,189 LISTEN, WE ARE THE BIGGER AND SMARTER PEOPLE. 214 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,548 THAT'S WHY WE HAVE ALL THE CARS AND THE MONEY. 215 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,187 WE ARE NOT GOING TO INDULGE YOU, MISS. 216 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,892 GOAT, GOAT, GOAT, GOAT! 217 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:13,956 WOW. (screaming resumes) 218 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,664 POOR THING. HUSBAND JUST LEFT HER. 219 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,526 YOU KNOW WHAT? PUT SOME WINE ON A NAPKIN. 220 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,903 I AM SO SORRY THAT I EXPOSED MYSELF TO YOUR SONS. 221 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,066 I REALLY HOPE IT'S THE LAST TIME THAT THAT HAPPENS. 222 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,465 I SAW YOUR BOOBS. YOUR BOOBS ARE BOOBS. 223 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,737 WELL PUT, JACKSON. 224 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,976 YEAH. GONNA BE A DOCTOR, THAT ONE. 225 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,881 (laughs) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GRABBING THESE CLOTHES 226 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,253 FROM YOUR NEIGHBOR. SURE. 227 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,751 ALTHOUGH I FEEL LIKE SHE HAS NOT GONE SHOPPING SINCE 1996. 228 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,894 YEAH, WELL, IT'S COOL, 'CAUSE I'M STILL SORT OF 229 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,089 PICTURING YOU IN THAT BLACK... (growls) OUTFIT. (cartoon sound effects playing on TV) 230 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,322 (both giggling) I WISH I KNEW YOU WERE COMING. 231 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,726 SHOULD WE JUST RAIN CHECK THIS THING? 232 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,728 NATALIE IS WITH MY PARENTS, AND I DID SHAVE MY LEGS 233 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,901 ALL THE WAY UP INSTEAD OF JUST TO THE KNEES. 234 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,830 OOH. WELL, IN THAT CASE, YEAH, I GUESS WE CAN STILL GO OUT 235 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,696 IF YOU DON'T MIND THE BOYS TAGGING ALONG. 236 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,065 YEAH, NO, OF COURSE NOT. I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T KNOW 237 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,073 YOU WERE GONNA HAVE THEM, AND KIDS COME FIRST. YEAH. 238 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,365 NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WE GONNA LOCK 'EM IN THE CLOSET 239 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,436 WHILE YOU AND I GO ROLL AROUND ON THE BED FOR A WHILE? 240 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:04,514 (laughs) IS THAT ON THE TABLE? 241 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,884 I... 242 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,553 I'M KIDDING. (laughs) OH. (chuckles) 243 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,921 IS IT? JOKING... AGAIN. 244 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,050 UM, YEAH. LET'S GO-- LET'S GO GET SOME FOOD. 245 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,415 OKAY, GREAT. UH, IS FAST FOOD OKAY? 246 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,594 YEAH, OF COURSE. WHAT DO THEY LIKE? 247 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,363 BOOB BURGERS! 248 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,760 OH, BOOB BURGERS. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 249 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,862 I HAD BOOBS FOR BREAKFAST, SO AS LONG AS THEY HAVE SALADS... 250 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,695 (both giggling) 251 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:27,941 GOATEE. I JUST GOT THAT. (laughs) 252 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:31,298 YOU KNOW, I ONCE DATED A GUY WHO LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THAT GOAT. 253 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:33,768 YEAH. STILL OWES ME 5,000 BUCKS. 254 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,237 EXCUSE ME, GOAT. DO YOU KNOW A GUY NAMED SALVADOR? 255 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,777 (laughs) OH, GOD, I AM SO BORED. 256 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,653 HEY, HONEY. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THE GOAT? 257 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,423 I'M JUST TRYING TO BE SOCIAL. (bleats) 258 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,751 YEAH? WELL, LISTEN TO THIS. 259 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,386 WHILE YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS, 260 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,920 I HAD A FLASH OF GENIUS. 261 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,587 WE TIE THIS BALLOON TO NATALIE'S WRIST. 262 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,925 THAT WAY, WE CAN SEE WHERE SHE IS FROM ANYWHERE. 263 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,961 IF IT STARTS MOVING AT AN ADULT SPEED, 264 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,256 WE KNOW SOMETHING'S WRONG. 265 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,427 WELL, THEN WHAT DO WE DO? 266 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,795 WE SCREAM, RUN, AND ATTACK-- OUR FAVORITE THING. 267 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,104 THAT'S A PLAN. 268 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,295 SWEETHEART, YOU'RE HAVING A FUN TIME HERE, RIGHT? 269 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,807 YEAH. AWESOME. 270 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,069 WELL, YOU KNOW, GRANDMA AND GRANDPA-- 271 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,637 WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN RIGHT OVER THERE. 272 00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,506 IT'S JUST A COUPLE BOOTHS DOWN. 273 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:14,413 YOU'RE GONNA WEAR THIS BALLOON, AND WE'LL BE WATCHING, OKAY? 274 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,077 AND, HEY, HOW ABOUT SOME CRACKER MONEY 275 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:20,146 FOR YOU AND MR. GOAT, HUH? LOOK AT THAT. 276 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,787 YEAH. HOW DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU? 277 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,092 EVERYBODY WINS. 278 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,763 OKAY. 279 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:25,962 OH, MY GOD. 280 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,003 YEAH, SHALL WE TAKE BACK THE NIGHT? 281 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,098 IT'S 2:00 IN THE AFTERNOON. 282 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,700 THESE TRANSITION LENSES-- THEY TRANSITION TOO EARLY. 283 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,473 I CAN NEVER TELL WHAT TIME IT IS. 284 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:37,271 LOOK AT HER. HMM? 285 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,114 MADE A FRIEND. 286 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,779 WOW. NOTHING MAKES FAST FOOD BURGERS TASTE BETTER 287 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,279 THAN THE SMELL OF GASOLINE. 288 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,980 AND FARTS. 289 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,452 WHAT? 290 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,619 OH, REALLY, JACKSON? THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING NOW? OH. 291 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,179 I'M SO SORRY. 292 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,348 BUT, YOU KNOW, PICK YOUR BATTLES, RIGHT? (French fry thuds) 293 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:56,286 I WONDER WHAT IT'D BE LIKE IF WE ACTUALLY PICKED ONE. 294 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,293 IT'S KIND OF EXCITING TO THINK ABOUT. 295 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,225 YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT IF I ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR NEEDS, 296 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,160 THEY WOULD RESPOND BY NOT THROWING FRIES IN MY HAIR. 297 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,026 COME ON. THIS ONE HAD KETCHUP ON IT. 298 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,067 IS THIS HOW PEOPLE SEE ME WITH MY KID? 299 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,572 THESE LITTLE PSYCHOS WERE OUT OF CONTROL, 300 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,214 AND THE MORE I SAW SCOTT WITH HIS KIDS, 301 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,580 THE MORE I SAW MY FUTURE WITH NATALIE. 302 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,578 SOON WE'D BE EATING BURGERS IN THE CAR, 303 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:22,421 DROWNING IN OUR OWN FARTS. 304 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,749 (both) TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAIN! 305 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,245 TRAIN! TRAIN! 306 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,056 WHAT? 307 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,988 THERE'S THIS LITTLE KIDDIE TRAIN OVER IN THE PARK. 308 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,263 WE ATE ON IT ONE TIME, 309 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,761 AND NOW WE ALWAYS HAVE TO EAT OUR BURGERS ON IT. 310 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,363 I FEEL LIKE WE'VE BEEN REALLY ACCOMMODATING ALREADY. 311 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,025 I DON'T, YOU KNOW, WANNA BE THE BAD GUY, 312 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,234 BUT I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING ON A KIDDIE TRAIN 313 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:42,066 AFTER EATING ALL THOSE BURGERS. 314 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,902 (train whistle blows) 315 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,507 WHY DID WE BUY THEM INFLATABLE HAMMERS? 316 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,539 WHY DO THEY MAKE INFLATABLE HAMMERS? 317 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,005 (wheels clacking) 318 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,083 ALL RIGHT, GUYS, NOT IN THE EAR, OKAY? SERIOUSLY. 319 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,413 YOU KNOW, MY PARENTS THINK ADULTS RUN THE SHOW, 320 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,577 AND KIDS SHOULD ADAPT. WHEN I WAS JACKSON'S AGE, 321 00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:59,587 I WAS TAKING THE ACTUAL TRAIN BY MYSELF. 322 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,589 MY KIDS CAN'T EVEN GO ON A KIDDIE TRAIN BY THEMSELVES. 323 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,362 IS IT POSSIBLE MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT? 324 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,791 I MEAN, MAYBE NATALIE IS ACTING CRAZY 325 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,726 BECAUSE I INDULGE HER EVERY WHIM. 326 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,961 MAYBE SHE COULD STAND TO HEAR "NO" ONCE IN A WHILE. 327 00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,772 TYLER, HE SAID NOT IN THE EAR. 328 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,402 COME ON, BUDDY. 329 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,366 LOOK AT US. 330 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,565 LOOK AT ALL OF US. WHAT ARE WE DOING? (man laughing and whooping) 331 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,037 NONE OF US ARE HAPPY ON THIS TRAIN. 332 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,305 AND, YOU, MAN BY YOURSELF, 333 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,984 YOU ARE WAY TOO HAPPY, OKAY? 334 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,453 YOU'RE RIGHT. 335 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,580 SHE'S RIGHT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 336 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:33,787 I AM POPPING THIS HAMMER. YEAH, YOU POP THOSE HAMMERS. 337 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,991 KIDS, THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE. 338 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,794 MR. CONDUCTOR! STOP THIS TRAIN! 339 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,757 (screeches) 340 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,425 (exhales) I THOUGHT THAT WOULD TAKE A SECOND. 341 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,104 WHAT ARE THESE MADE OF, KEVLAR? 342 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,603 (playing slow jazz) 343 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,274 OH, I LOVE THIS PLACE. MM-HMM. 344 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:54,112 FOOD, WINE, OUR NEW BIRACIAL FRIENDS. 345 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,111 OH, IS THAT WHAT THEY ARE? 346 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,453 YEAH. I THOUGHT IT WAS MY TRANSITION LENSES AGAIN. 347 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,308 AND WHILE WE'RE DANCING, I'VE GOT AN EYE ON NATALIE. 348 00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:05,688 WELL, I'VE GOT AN EYE ON NATALIE. 349 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,488 (mutters) NO, SHE-- 350 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,290 (laughter) 351 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,092 WHAT? 352 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,294 "SILVA BREAST CANCER GROUP." 353 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,695 (bleep) 354 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,532 WE LOST NATALIE. 355 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,598 OH. 356 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,535 OKAY, SO WHAT ARE WE THINKING? 357 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,036 UH, MY PARENTS TOLD ME ABOUT A WINE AND JAZZ FESTIVAL. 358 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,378 DOESN'T THAT SOUND GREAT? 359 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,282 YEAH, THAT SOUNDS ACTUALLY REALLY GREAT. (laughs) 360 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,824 THAT SOUNDS BORING. 361 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,549 THANK YOU FOR OFFERING UP YOUR OPINION THERE, JACKSON, 362 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,154 BUT DESPITE YOUR DISINTEREST, GUESS WHAT? 363 00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,447 WE'RE GOING ANYWAY. 364 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,858 *** 365 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,160 I LIKE THE NEW US. 366 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,961 I'M CARSICK. 367 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:49,333 OH, YEAH? CRACK A WINDOW, HUH? 368 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,732 (chuckles) (whispers) NICE. 369 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,403 IF YOU MAKE US GO, 370 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,732 WE'RE JUST GONNA MAKE IT TOTALLY NOT FUN FOR YOU. 371 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,337 IMPOSSIBLE. 372 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:59,669 WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO IS IN PROTEST. 373 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:02,076 WHOA. (horn blares) 374 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,748 HEY. 375 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,423 STOP THE CAR. 376 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,194 (brakes squeal) OKAY. SO... 377 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,264 WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? PUT 'EM IN THE TRUNK? 378 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,562 IT'S ALL HAPPENING SO FAST. 379 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,763 SHOULD WE TEACH THEM A LESSON ON GOOD CITIZENSHIP? 380 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:23,995 YES. 381 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,601 WELL, GUYS, CONGRATULATIONS. 382 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,402 YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE JAZZ FESTIVAL. (both) YEAH! 383 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,697 LATER! 384 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:32,908 (scoffs) 385 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,340 THANKS FOR HELPING, GUYS. 386 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,914 BEST PART OF THIS JOB-- THEY GIVE YOU A WEAPON. 387 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:40,684 BUT WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILI-- (thud) 388 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,083 MY FOOT, MY FOOT, MY FOOT, MY FOOT, MY FOOT, MY FOOT. 389 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,586 (sighs) THEY'RE GONNA BE SAFE WITH HIM, RIGHT? 390 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,688 WELL, SAFER THAN THEY WOULD BE WITH ME RIGHT NOW. 391 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,760 I'M JOKING. I MEAN, I KNOW IT MAY SEEM 392 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:50,919 A LITTLE CRAZY TO LEAVE YOUR KIDS 393 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,788 ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH A GUY WITH A BEARD, 394 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,895 BUT HE IS ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS WITH A BEARD. 395 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,099 THIS IS KIND OF THRILLING. RIGHT? 396 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,431 I FEEL LIKE WE'RE THE PARENTS IN AN INDY MOVIE OR SOMETHING. 397 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,297 LET'S GO ROB A BANK. OOH, YES. 398 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,235 NATALIE? OKAY, NATALIE? 399 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:05,411 NATALIE? 400 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:06,768 NATALIE? HONEY? 401 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,036 NATALIE? NATALIE? 402 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,606 OH. HEY. NATALIE? 403 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,584 WHOA. MOM, STRANGER! 404 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,723 OKAY, SORRY, FELLA. (speaks indistinctly) 405 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,449 HAVE YOU SEEN HER? NATALIE? 406 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,116 NATALIE? HMM? 407 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,594 OH. 408 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,662 OH, BOY. (under breath) NO GO. 409 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,090 OKAY. NATALIE. (speaks indistinctly) 410 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,486 NATALIE? NATALIE? 411 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,827 HONEY? NATALIE? 412 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,402 OH! NATALIE! 413 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,931 (shrieks) OH, NO! 414 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,226 HEY, SHH. SHH. 415 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,337 LISTEN TO ME. YEAH. 416 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,768 THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. OKAY. 417 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:37,803 WE'RE GONNA PLANT OURSELVES AT THE ENTRANCE. YES. 418 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,967 AND WE'RE JUST GONNA STAND THERE. 419 00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,006 WE'RE GONNA WATCH EVERYONE WHO WALKS BY 420 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,781 UNTIL THIS PLACE EMPTIES OUT. OKAY. OH... 421 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,439 OH, GOD. THERE'S POLLY. 422 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:45,807 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE UP A HUGE LIE 423 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,575 LIKE WE DID ABOUT THAT DOG. 424 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,124 NO, NO, NO, NO. POLLY. POLLY. THERE. NO? (panting) 425 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,650 OH, WELL, THAT'S GOOD. 426 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,154 SHE'S HAVING SOME ADULT TIME. 427 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,586 ELAINE, ELAINE. 428 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,691 WHAT? I CAN FEEL TWO DIFFERENT THINGS AT THE SAME TIME! 429 00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:58,033 OKAY, YOU CAN. ALL RIGHT. NOW THAT-- 430 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,158 SEE, THAT'S NOT YOUR WINE. PUT IT DOWN, DARLING. 431 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,493 GO. FOLLOW ME. 432 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,728 GO. NATALIE? 433 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,097 (goat bleats) 434 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,203 SHE WAS WITH THE GOATS. 435 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,168 (horn blares) 436 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:17,007 OH, YEAH. PERFECT. 437 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,854 (speaks indistinctly) 438 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,948 (laughs) 439 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,651 *** 440 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:28,964 (Polly) SEE? THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 441 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,288 BAM. CRANBERRY. 442 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,734 OH, MY GOD, MAX, WHAT HAVE WE DONE? 443 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,860 NO, WE'RE GONNA FIND HER. WE'RE GONNA KEEP LOOKING FOR HER. 444 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,325 WE'RE GONNA FIND HER, ELAINE. 445 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,404 I'M NEVER GONNA FORGIVE MYSELF. NEVER. 446 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,572 NO, HONEY, DON'T SAY THAT. W-WE--WE WILL-- 447 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,071 WE WERE JUST DANCING. OKAY. 448 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,743 GRANDMA, I'M THIRSTY. (both gasp) 449 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,511 OHH! (laughs) OHH! 450 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,910 HA HA! OHH! 451 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,181 LOOK AT THIS. 452 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,680 WE ARE NEVER LETTING THIS CHILD OUT OF OUR SIGHT AGAIN. 453 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,052 OH, ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY? 454 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,421 (clenching teeth) LOOK AT THAT FACE. WHAT A FACE. 455 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,589 OHH. IT'S OKAY, GRANDMA. I HAD FUN. 456 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,749 I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL MOMMY ABOUT IT. YEAH. 457 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,358 OH. OH. 458 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,590 HEY, Y-Y-YOU KNOW WHAT? 459 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,994 WE ARE SO HAPPY THAT YOU HAD A GREAT ADVENTURE, 460 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,426 BUT LET'S PLAY A FUN GAME WHERE YOU DIDN'T TELL MOMMY 461 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,103 ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURE. HOW'S THAT SOUND? 462 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,903 THAT'S NOT A GAME. THAT'S JUST NOT SAYING SOMETHING. NO. 463 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,735 WELL, IT'S KINDA LIKE A GAME. (gasps) 464 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:21,570 WHAT IF PART OF THE GAME IS US BUYING YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT? 465 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:22,738 OH, I LIKE THAT, GRANDMA. 466 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,205 NOW THAT SOUNDS FUN. 467 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,284 (laughs) YEAH. 468 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,682 CAN YOU BUY ME A GOAT? 469 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,753 WELL, WITHIN REASON, HONEY. 470 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,581 I THINK I'D RATHER TELL MOM ABOUT MY ADVENTURE. 471 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:38,023 $220, $240, $260. (bleats) 472 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,427 OKAY. INCLUDE DELIVERY, OR DO I HAVE TO STRAP IT TO THE HOOD? 473 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,030 HOW LONG DOES A GOAT LIVE? 474 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,261 I DON'T KNOW, ELAINE. 475 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,456 HI, MOMMY! 476 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,027 OH! (chuckles) 477 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,865 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? 478 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,770 WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? WHAT IN THE WORLD? 479 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,472 AND WHAT IS NATALIE DOING HERE? 480 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,374 WHAT? ANSWER YOUR MOMMY, HONEY. 481 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,306 AND WHY DOES SHE HAVE EVERYTHING THAT IS FOR SALE HERE? 482 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,412 AND A GOAT! AND A GOAT. 483 00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,614 GRANDMA AND GRANDPA HOOKED ME UP. 484 00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,146 GREAT. ARE THESE THE SAME PARENTS WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT? 485 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,081 NO, NO. I HAVE NEVER MET THESE. 486 00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:05,386 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? YOU'RE TOTALLY SPOILING HER. 487 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,218 YOU SAID TO INDULGE HER SO SHE'D GET HER OWN APARTMENT. 488 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,485 AND THAT REALLY RESONATED WITH US. 489 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:10,622 IT'S RESONATING. 490 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,327 WELL, I WAS WRONG, OKAY? 491 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,889 YOUNG LADY, YOU ARE NOT HAVING PRETZELS AND ICE CREAM 492 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,557 BEFORE DINNER, OKAY? 493 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,596 AND MOMMY'S GONNA SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER FRIEND SCOTT, 494 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,231 SO GRANDMA AND GRANDPA ARE GONNA TAKE YOU HOME, 495 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,967 GIVE YOU A BATH, AND PUT YOU TO BED. 496 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,271 NO, NO, NO, NO. 497 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,413 NO, I'M STAYING AT THE FAIR. (screaming) 498 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,738 OH, GOD, THERE IT IS. OH. 499 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,944 (continues screaming) 500 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,675 YOU CAN SCREAM AND WHINE ALL YOU WANT... 501 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,580 (singsongy) BUT THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING! 502 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,252 AAH! OH. OKAY? 503 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:37,121 (Elaine) WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO? (Max) PLEASE. 504 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,120 QUIT WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD. 505 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,791 NO! I DON'T WANNA GO HOME. 506 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,920 OKAY, FINE. 507 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,556 (horn blares) 508 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,004 HEY. HI. 509 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,543 HEY. LONG DAY, HUH? 510 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,809 YEAH, BUT IT WAS OUR PLEASURE. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MAX? 511 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,039 OH, SO PLEASURABLE, 512 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,783 AND YOU KNOW, IT'S EASY TO UNDERSTAND 513 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,980 WHY YOU WOULD GIVE IN TO A KID THAT ADORABLE. 514 00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:09,382 YEAH, I MEAN, WHEN YOU SEE THAT SMILE, YOU CAN'T SAY NO. (exhales deeply) 515 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,876 RIGHT? YOUR LIPS REFUSE. HMM. 516 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,118 SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU LOST HER. 517 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,363 WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO 518 00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:16,888 THAT YOU CAN'T BRIBE A KID WITH A GOAT? 519 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,793 LOOK, THERE'S A MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN KIDS RUNNING THE SHOW 520 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,025 AND THEM ENDING UP ON A MILK CARTON. 521 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,460 OKAY, WE'RE LOOKING TO FIND THAT SWEET SPOT. 522 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,296 AND WE ARE SO SORRY. YES. 523 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:29,042 NO IDEA. WE WOULD PROSTATE OURSELVES ON THE GROUND IN SORROW 524 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:31,898 IF WE HADN'T HURT OUR BACKS SEARCHING. OH, IT HURTS. 525 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:35,408 IT'S OKAY. I KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT, 526 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,982 AND WHEN NATALIE SAID SHE LIKED GETTING LOST 527 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,809 BECAUSE IT MADE HER FEEL LIKE A BIG GIRL, 528 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,906 IT REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING. 529 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,648 EXCUSE ME, SWEETHEART. 530 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,423 DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE FISH MARKET IS? 531 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,422 EASY. YOU'RE GONNA NEED A TRANSFER AT 4th 532 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,924 'CAUSE THE TRAIN STOPS RUNNING THERE AT NIGHT. 533 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:53,256 GO THREE STOPS AND WALK NORTH. CAN'T MISS IT. 534 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,403 OH, YOU'RE AN ANGEL. THANK YOU. 535 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:59,769 SO THAT'S ONE GREAT THING ABOUT THE WAY YOU GUYS RAISED ME. 536 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,399 I KNEW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, 537 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:08,035 AND... MAYBE SHE COULD USE A LITTLE OF THAT, TOO. 538 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,184 OKAY. GOD, WE'RE SMART, YOU KNOW? 539 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,079 ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS WE--WE DID A GOOD JOB. WE DON'T GET ENOUGH CREDIT. 540 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:13,251 ONWARD AND UPWARD. THANK YOU. MM-HMM. 541 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:17,550 ANYWAY, I FORGIVE YOU. GOOD NIGHT. 542 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,724 (door rattles) 543 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,422 OH, AND THANK YOU FOR THAT, BY THE WAY. 544 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,085 IT DOES THAT A LOT. 545 00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,433 YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOCTURNAL, 546 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,428 SO Y-YOUR TURN TO FEED THE GOAT. OH, COME ON. 547 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,461 (goat bleats) GOOD NIGHT, GOAT. 548 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:38,314 *** 549 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,368 MORNING. 550 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,707 YEAH. 551 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,781 I DON'T WANNA RING ANY ALARM BELLS, BUT, UM, 552 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,380 I NOTICE THAT THE GOAT IS GONE. 553 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,982 BEFORE I START CONCOCTING A COVER STORY FOR NATALIE, 554 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:50,754 ANY IDEA WHERE IT IS? MAX TOOK CARE OF IT. 555 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:54,253 (mouth full) PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT EATING THE GOAT. 556 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,917 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 557 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,594 THAT'S RIGHT. I GOT ME A GOAT! 558 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:03,496 G-O-T-E! ALL MINE. 559 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,800 (whistles) TERRENCE, YOU MISSED A SPOT. (horns honking) 41899

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