Original subtitles

Previously on Home Invasion.

Earth is a Protocol 12?

This house is the detonator.

Señor Stan, there is something very strange going on here.

I don't know how to put it.

Well, clearly, this is a basement.

Do not use the same weapon twice.

It's very weird. It's almost... alien.

Well, hello, little guy.

It's you.

It's really you, isn't it?

Al.

Sophie? You can talk?

-Okay. -What?

Your enunciation is fantastic.

-Have you been taking classes? -What?

-Al? -Oh, sorry, how rude of me.

Tom, Mick, this is Sophie.

-Hi. -Really, dude?

Okay, so this is where it gets too weird for you.

Sophie and I have been friends for... Well, how long has it been?

Don't get shy on me now.

Stage fright.

Come on, Sophie, say hi to the nice humans.

Al, step away from the cow.

All right. Fine, I get it.

You need your space.

That's not the cow, Al. That's Jamie.

Which one of you turned my daughter into a cow?

Jamie, can you hear us?

Loud and clear.

Jamie, how are you doing this?

You're talking out of a cow bell.

I've got a direct line into CASIE's surveillance.

I'll switch to the speakers.

Nice, 'cause we can really use some help down here.

Okay, working on it. I've got a view of most of the basement's layout.

-Right now you're in junk storage. -Junk storage?

Al's a hoarder.

I'm not a hoarder, I'm a herder.

Wait a minute.

Tom!

-Do these cows look familiar to you? -Why would cows look...?

Actually, yeah.

Oh my God, so does this. Please, Tom.

We've been here, when we teleported. And if we were here, then...

Hey, Jamie, the core,

it doesn't happen to be like a big tower thingy made of light

and super-scary alien stuff?

Real descriptive.

Today, Party Boy.

But surprisingly, really accurate.

It's gonna be a bit tricky, but I actually think I could guide you.

There's just one thing.

I don't really know how to say this. There is a very big dinosaur.

Really big.

Not anymore. Let's get you to the core.

And, guys, hurry.

Buck, I'm calling the police.

Be sure to ask about our special edition commemorative $20 coin,

lovingly hand-painted and legal tender in the Republic of Namibia.

-Buck, are you on the line? -Hush, Connie. I'm investing.

Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line.

You're currently number 72 in line.

Buck, this is important.

Hell's breaking loose across the street.

It's an access of immigrants.

But supplies are limited!

Turn right ahead. You'll have to cut through a couple of rooms.

We may lose contact for a few minutes.

Right!

Okay. Not the face!

See you on the other side.

It should be just through...

Oh. Yeah. Right.

Hi.

Al, I thought we were the only humans down here.

Oh, he's not human. He's me.

-Huh? -This is my backup body.

You know, how you have a backup body

in case something happens to your main one.

He's so handsome.

-This is your backup body? -This would totally be my main body.

So cool.

Hey, guys.

-Hey. -Wow.

Well, anyway, I never wear it. Not even on laundry day.

Because frankly, I don't like the way Val looks at it.

You may enter when ready.

Thank you.

I'm so good.

I like your vibe.

Guys, come on.

Al, where are we?

The reading room.

Hey, be careful, man.

Mick, it's just a book.

Yeah, I don't trust anything down here.

Mick's greatest fear, literacy.

-What was that? -Huh?

I didn't say anything.

He passes the bar exam and thinks he's better than everybody else.

A lot easier when the system's not against you.

You always blame everyone else for your problems.

Not all my problems.

See, he can't even admit it to himself.

Hey, you got something to say, say it to my face.

How is this disaster of a person still the best friend I've ever had?

It's pathetic.

You didn't say that to my face.

Al, seriously, what the hell is this place?

Well, I told you. This is the reading room.

Oh, God. He means mind reading.

Pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie.

Frogs.

That makes sense.

I should open a Mexican-themed casino and dance club

called "Chips and Salsa".

That's actually not a bad idea.

Great. I'm about to die, and you two want to go into business together.

Mick keeps forgetting that we're all gonna die if we don't stop CASIE.

Okay, enough of this crap, all right?

Don't think of anything until we get out.

Easy for him to say.

-Come on, man! -Sorry. It just slipped out.

All I ever wanted was to be loved.

And chicken fingers.

Because then chickens could pick things up.

This...

is...

the 25...

percent...

room.

Time...

moves...

at...

one-quarter...

speed.

Come...

on.

-So, should we tell him, or... -No, I say we just go along with it.

-Cool. -Yeah.

Whoa.

How the hell...

did you do that?

Good work, boys. I didn't know you had that kind of speed in you.

-Hey, Jamie, are you there? -I'm here. Sorry about the detour.

You should have seen the rooms you were supposed to go through.

Absolute death traps.

-Are there any death traps in here? -Don't be silly.

This is a regular, ordinary hallway. We wouldn't put a death trap in here.

But there are death traps?

Well, yeah, it's a basement.

Human basements don't have death traps. Noted.

Death trap!

Why are they only aiming at me? Jamie, a little help.

Hold on. I got this.

Uh, Jamie?

Oh, yeah!

And this is for taking my pension.

Oh, okay.

And this is for killing my dad.

My other dad.

Jamie?

I think they're dead.

-Now they are. -How are we looking, Zeb?

That depends. Are we counting thoughts and prayers?

-I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. -Thanks, Dad.

How close is the core?

Can't use that anymore.

-Thanks. -Hey, don't mention it.

Okay. Ow.

Jamie, I don't suppose you have another stockpile of weapons in here?

Afraid not.

You're almost there. Just go down the hallway and take a right.

Zeb, I'm not even sure that's a gun.

Why do you insist on making this so difficult for yourselves?

Why are you dressed like a male stripper?

Says the cover model for Prison Beat magazine.

-Oh, you were in a magazine? -Al, that is not an actual magazine.

-May 2016. -What?

To answer your question, I was thinking of doing some remodeling.

What is happening?

I think she's talking about remodeling us.

Oh, you think?

Let me go. Go, go, go!

She locked me out of all controls.

I can't... I can't do anything.

Of course not.

It's my game you're playing, and I make the rules.

You really need to get out of there.

-Oh, come on, man. -Let's go.

I'm stuck.

Tom.

-This isn't funny, man. -I'm not joking. Pull, pull, pull.

Come on!

Oh my...

Pull, pull, pull.

Come on.

Hey. It's okay.

Let me help you.

Just go, I got it. I'm right behind you, all right?

Go, go, go, go.

I got it, all right?

I'm right behind you. Go.

Tom, we have to go.

No, Mick! No!

Mick!

Mick! No, Mick, no!

Tom! Mick! Respond!

Al! Dad!

Please!

Why did you pull me away? I could have helped him.

Here? On CASIE's turf? You would've gotten yourself killed.

Again.

Okay. Here? On CASIE's turf? You...

No, I mean, I did it again.

I left him behind.

I had a second chance, and I won't get a third.

Get off.

Hey, Tom.

Look, I know what you're expecting,

and I'm sure you're stoked to erase it, but...

there's nothing to erase. I wouldn't do that to you, man.

I took a gamble, and for once I guess it paid off.

If you're listening to this, you did what I asked,

and you'll never see me again.

So... thanks.

No matter what happens to me, never forget that you stepped up.

Oh, look who's here. Okay. All right, that's all.

-Mick? -Tommy?

How the hell did you get in here?

Al...

That was beautiful.

I'm never gonna see him again.

Things don't always work out the way you planned.

Sometimes the universe duplicates you.

Makes you your own best friend.

And sometimes the universe vaporizes your best friend in front of you.

And sometimes, those two sometimes are only a few minutes apart.

-What's your point? He's still dead. -Look...

I was right where you are, just a little while ago.

But then a couple of nice burglars broke into my heart

and reminded me what was important.

Mick. Mick was important, and I never had the chance to prove it to him.

Don't let Mick's death be in vain.

We're not just gonna sit here and wait for the end of the world.

We're gonna do what Mick would have done.

We're gonna stand up, probably say something grumpy,

and then we're gonna punch the end of the world right in the face.

Is this what you humans call mating?

-Oh, Al... never change. -No, I never would.

I love this sweater vest.

-Tom. -What?

That's the core.

I've tried everything. CASIE must have blocked our access.

-Another. -That, or...

I don't accept that.

-Oh, that's not good. -Define "not good."

We only have three more guns left,

and I'm pretty sure one of them is a regular water pistol.

Define "regular."

-Zeb, we can't use that one again. -Well, actually...

If you take this chamber... and combine it with this stock...

-it should change what it does. -How do you know that?

I have a master's in physics and engineering.

I was gonna go into computer sciences,

but I didn't want the girls to think I was a total nerd.

-So, it will change the gun's effect? -Theoretically.

-And if it doesn't? -Might explode.

-Seriously? -Theoretically.

Zeb, I could kiss you.

-Seriously? -No.

Damn it!

-Who is this? -Who the hell is this?

This is an American citizen.

Where are you from, señor?

Cuba, Mexico, MS-13?

Look, lady, I don't know who the hell you are, but...

And what's the Stan short for? Afghanistan? Pakistan?

-It's short for Stanley, actually. -Sure, and I'm Phyllis Schlafly.

You people stay out of my neighborhood, you understand?

Phyllis, listen, I don't know who you are, but...

Get my friend on the line, pronto, or I'll become really ill-tempered.

Was that the dark-haired fella, sneaky, kind of Mexican-looking?

What do you mean? What do you mean, "was"?

What have you done?

Around here, we put America first.

I am so damn...

...tired of all these illegal...

Connie, stop spying on the neighbors.

Oh, there was, uh, gophers, and... never mind.

Okay. So how do we shut her down?

I thought you knew.

Why would I know?

Well, you're clearly an expert when it comes to basements.

Nuh-uh.

Not one step further. This is as far as you get.

You have no idea how far I'm willing to go.

You killed Mick.

-Who? -My friend.

Your friend? The one you throw to the wolves every chance you get?

Shut up.

I've been watching you. You don't make friends, you make enemies.

I trusted you to save me.

Once again, you abandoned me.

Just like that night.

Just like tonight.

Everything bad that's ever happened to me... was because of you.

No.

It's sad. You still can't face the truth.

I didn't kill Mick.

You did.

Tom, don't listen to her.

You do have friends.

Me, for starters.

Says the copy.

Not even a good one.

At least the original had a stupid charm to him.

I'm the only one who's ever understood you.

I know just how pathetic you are.

Always out of place.

Take me away, and you're all alone.

-Just a spec. -I'm not a copy.

I'm a quantum... something.

Oh, don't be upset, Al. You're not alone.

You have someone just like you right here.

Just as hopeless.

Just as weak.

You couldn't save the people that care about you.

You think you can save the world?

Another.

Makin' lasers with my friend, Jamie Having a grand time

Another.

Confetti, Zeb?

I call it the party popper. Okay...

Let's go.

-Nothing here fits. -What?

We have a cold front coming in from the west coast.

Expect lows in the high 50s.

Tomorrow, you might want to be on the lookout for seismic activity,

apocalyptic flooding, and variable gravity conditions,

with temperatures in the millions. So, grab that sunscreen.

We're running out of time.

Zeb! Come on!

Please work.

You messed with my career.

You messed with my...

I had a future!

Mom.

Mom, I think it's dead.

How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not your mother!

Where the heck did you go?

I'm not sure. A lot of cows. The front yard.

A really, really weird place. And my sweet, sweet love den.

Wait!

-You got to the basement? -What do you mean?

He fixed the coaster. It just needed a little power.

So, I can get to the core?

Well, yeah.

-And Dad. -He's not your dad.

-He is to me! -Come on, focus on what's important.

Yes. Oh, you want the gun.

Sorry. It's a miscommunication.

-Stay safe. -I will.

She wasn't talking to you.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I have a husband to save.

Fine, I'll do it.