Original subtitles

Congratulations, Miles.

The job is yours.

Miles has a millimeter Peter.

Indians call it a "Teepee peepee!"

What the hell? Hey!

Man, that's why your daddies don't want your asses!

-Dylan! -Fuck!

-You got any Plan C pills? -It's Plan B?

Look, the girl from last night said there was a Plan C pill,

for the other raw-dog slip-up.

She has gonorrhea.

Oye Papi,'chu look good.

Hey, Google.

How do you say "bullshit"

in Spanish?

The pronunciation is"Mierda."

Mierda?

-Close!"Mierda." -Murda.

-Murda! -Damn, bitch!

Order somepinche Rosetta,guera.

While local law enforcement are reluctant to release any information,

I threatened to blackmail a few anonymous sources

down at the precinct, and found that the victim

was simply known as "Will."

An employee at Danrick Design,

of what many are calling the most horrific--

Sir, we are recording live.

-Thank you. -Oh, sorry. Sorry about that.

Yo! That's my son, ese!

Rick...

-That was an accident. -No. Fuck that, Al.

Rick, you know my name is Sanj? Who's Al?

You. Al-Qaeda!

Yeah! Terrorizing little kids.

Get that ass in gear, Mom!

Oh, calm down, Lainee!

I'll give you calm, when I'm in a casket.

Today? Today's carpe-motherfucking-diem.

I'm on my grind, Mom, and unless you want to end up like those losers,

I suggest you do the same.

? Farther than our eyes have ever seen ?

? I don't wanna grow up ?

? Lately, could we misbehave a bit more? ?

? Never know what's in store ?

? When we're rowdy and bored ?

? Honey, can we catch some floating fireflies? ?

? Let 'em light our way tonight ?

? Through the Neverland skies ?

? All the whole night through ?

? 'Cause we don't wanna grow up ?

? We just wanna be young ?

Seriously, am I, like, the lost Kardashian or something?

If the dating scene weren't lame enough,

I post a few squat pics at the gym,

and there's Black dudes in my DMs,

like I was handing out child support pardons.

Come on. This used to be our norm.

I know, it's just--

-Yo? -Yerp!

Will's wife could barely carry that box, like,

how the hell could she have let his body hang like that?

Man, all I know is, Mandy told me that Will's wife

was calling and talking crazy!

Will was scared as shit!

Hey, who do you think they'll tag for his position?

His seat still has his warm ass prints.

- They won't replace him that quickly.

Did you forget who our boss is?

Press your index and thumb together as hard as you can?

That's how many fucks she gives.

Oh, her balls are bigger than yours.

You know, you'll probably be the first up to get promoted to his position.

That kind of power could be sexy.

Or Miles.

Hmm, God bless America with tetas.

Hey, guys. Great day, right?

- Wonderful. - Hmm.

Yo, so who do you think they gonna tag for Will's job?

It might be you, dawg!

You or Dylan. Fuck that White boy, though.

Ami doesn't even know I'm an employee, bro.

Yesterday, I had on a brown shirt.

Why she hand me UPS Boxes, bruh?

Thanks, Miles.

You know, if anybody else gets that promotion,

I think it should be you.

If our profits don't go up, you're going to get fired.

- "I can't, I have a family, and a house, and a--"

-DanRick Designs, your hole is our goal. -Hello. Hey, this is Jos�.

I... I don't think I'm going to be able to make it in today.

-So you're calling off? -No, no.

I wish I could be at work, seriously.

-It's just, I'm really sick. -Right, right.

So, typically, when a person calls to say they need a day off,

those in the united human kingdom

refer to that as a "call off."

I'm not really into labels.

Thank you for covering.

-Gracias. -Oh, totally cool.

If only I could spend more of my internship

learning the valuable skill of phone answering.

I bet I could save a ton in tuition,

and maybe even skip college altogether.

You know, sweetie, being a receptionist,

there's more to it than just answering phones.

Oh, you mean, hanging them up is a different set of classes?

-Why, you little-- -When exactly does that fashion training kick in?

Ugh! Dresses like these

are muchocritically to the Latino culture.

-Then why are you wearing it? -Ugh!

Mier-- fuck!

? Living good I'm living great ?

? Everything I do I do it in first place ?

? I said I'm living good I'm living great ?

? Everything I do I do it in first place, yeah ?

? Yeah, watch my money grow watch my money grow, like a-- ?

? Watch my money grow like a proud parent ?

? Yeah, my money ain't old and it's colder than a snow bunny ?

? Happy getting money, honey ?

- Perhaps I was unclear at our last meeting,

when I provided a simple set of goals

for this quarter. Lainee?

Double digit turnaround in revenue and profit margins,

by the time we're reconvened.

Super sorry I'm late, guys, I had some...

congestion in the network.

This nigga was taking a dookie.

He done backed up the whole damn toilet.

Look, it's a lot of shit in that motherfucker,

and I don't get paid for all that.

You're a janitor.

That's exactly why you get paid. And, uh--

- Anyways, what makes you think it was me?

I done seen them little broke-ass, Brooks Brothers wannabe shoes

- and your little feet just twitching under the door.

Look, I don't get paid to kick people's asses either.

Don't make me go pro-bono.

I'm supposed to be IT.

Not S-H-I-T.

DanRick Designs, where your hole is our goal!

Hey, sis. Qu� pasa en la raza?

Mar�a?

Oh, hey.

You cut out.

Qu� haciendo?

I can't hear you, uh, bad signal!

Enough grab-ass!

Department reports! HR.

Uh, today we'll be honoring a couple of our esteemed colleagues.

First, we'll have a memorial for everyone's favorite co-worker, Will.

We have some--

We have some great video from the charities he helped. Spoiler alert!

There were plenty, so bring Kleenex. A little later, we'll lighten the mood,

as we celebrate Juan's b-day. Who doesn't love free cake?

-Just need a small donation from everyone. -I don't like it.

We don't like it.

-Uh, don't like which--- -Any of it.

He may cry again.

You have ten minutes. 12:50 to 1:00 p.m. Make it work.

Next, IT.

I said, "I'm on my way to LA."

Going to surprise you and your new bae.

My new bae, right.

Um...

What's Se�or Caliente's name, anyway?

Um, uh...

Juan Guapo Hungrod Martinez.

Oh, he sounds super south of the border.

Might be some Eas' Los sangre in you yet,chica.

S�,major s�.

Uh, I thought about what you and Mom had said.

Dad and aunty Patricia, uncle Hector, our neighbors,

the old lady who does my nails.

Anyone could read Latin studies,

but not everyone could live the Latin culture.

Ay, mija,look at you!

When I get down there, I'm gonna swing over to trabajo.

So, este...

What did you say his name was again?

Juan Guapo Hungrod Martinez.

Juan Guapo.

Get him to meet us for lunch.

I want to see what he's all about, qu� no?

K, yes, but he's kind of a boss who--

El jefe?

So he shouldn't have any problem meeting with us, pues.

Oh!

Next up, Innovations.

-New development today. -Really exciting news!

Well, this is some really exciting news.

And this is pretty cutting edge.

Oh, I just remembered.

Will was great... but he's dead.

Silver lining, we'll be having open interviews for his position.

We've already narrowed down our finalists to Dylan and Miles.

Hey, hey...

Yo! It's going di-di-di-di down down, son!

Finally, move out of your parents' garage!

Yeah, bro! Still kind of surprised Ami even knows I'm alive.

Hey, yo, hey, yo. I got to call my pops!

Dale!Go ahead, bro!

I told you, I told you!

Uh...

If I get this promotion,

I'm taking you out.

Get you all dolled up,

and then...

You know, if you...

If you ever wanted food or beverages...

ever.

Whatever.

Well, I do have

this manipulative red dress,

-I've been waiting to, um-- -Oh, manipulative.

Oh!

I've got to go call my mum real quick.

Great minds, right?

I was literally debating if ten minutes

was enough time just to get--

Laurie Caldwell needs to be fired.

Oh, okay. I can start a paper--

-Today. -By noon.

That's all. Thank you.

Deuces, with a discount.

Look, I just need him to show up for a few hours.

I'm not even worried about the sex part.

Well, I mean, if it's that big, and it's part of the price...

Hey, Juan.

How come we've never gone out for some drinks?

Because my mom would kill me for dating a White girl.

But I'm not.

Hey, Sanj. Got a second?

Hey, uh...

Congrats on the opportunity.

Yeah, yeah. You too.

Hey, may the best man win.

Yep. And the best way we can honor Will,

is commit the same level of dedication and results

to his clients like you.

Sure!

I'd be honored to work with you.

If you could just let Ami know you'd prefer me

overseeing your portfolio...

Sounds good.

Hey-- not if I see you first.

How did you know the victim, Will,

or any details of his crime?

Yo, this is Bron. Purp' n' gold gang all day.

R.I.P to my girl, Kathy tha--

Did you happen to know the victim, Will,

or any details in regards to his murder?

Oh, yeah. Yeah! For real, for-- for sure.

Yeah, Will be getting it in.

-Oh, "Will be getting it in"? -Oh, yes. Yes.

Will definitely be getting it in.

You feel me? He don't play.

I don't play.

-That's just the way we live. Yeah. -Oh, so--

so you two were well acquainted?

Wha-- what that mean?

You were close? You knew each other?

Uh, wasn't nobody humping around, if that's what that mean.

- Oh, okay. Okay, well... - Yeah.

...thank you so much for your time today.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Did I know Will? Technically, no.

-But, I do think-- No, wait one second. -Okay. Thank you so much.

-I do think that he copped my mixtape from the store... -No, thank you so much for--

-...downtown, Mr. PussyPatter. -Thank you so much for coming today, sir.

Hey, Ant. Uh...

How long you been under there?

I don't know.

Help your boy out.

See if you can get that third stall unclogged,

because one of you, ladies,

has been dropping some real gender neutral logs.

Yeah...

Oh, yeah, baby!

Here I come to save the day!

Yeah, here I come, alright.

Come on, baby!

-Somebody's getting fired! -It wasn't company Wi-Fi!

Like, when is firing part of my job?

Guys, it's safe sex!

I-- I update Norton's virus protection every week, mostly.

Oh, come on, Harry!

Rent's due, I have a few online subscriptions in collections.

I-- I just put the whole 50 Shadestrilogy

in my Amazon cart!

It was the Gold Box Deal of the Day!

I'm trying to put a Russian co-ed through an American college, man!

And all she has are her precious entrepreneurial...

...booty videos.

What are you talking about?

Wait. What are-- what are you talking about?

Laurie Caldwell. The boss says I need to fire her.

I've never fired anyone before!

Wait.

You're area HR, and you've never fired?

Well, got a real whale dick to bust your cherry.

Yo!

Laurie, right? Laurie Loophole?

Yeah, they've been trying to fire her for, like, seven years.

Ami's been through eight area HR managers

who all, quote, "Fired Laurie."

But every time, she's come back with a lawsuit settlement

and a big-ass pay raise.

? Laurie Loophole finds a way ?

? To get that, get that get that pay! Oh! ?

You know, like the ruple?

Mom, I have great news.

Oh, that's wonderful, Dilly-Dilly!

Steve and I have good news too!

- Pop! - -Boy, why is you yelling?

I got great news, pop.

Oh, I got something for you too!

-They selected me for a promotion! -I was selected for a promotion.

-Well, I mean, I'm a finalist, but... -Well, I'm a finalist,

-it's me and this Black guy. -...it's me and this White dude.

Ooh...

-What this mean, "Ooh"? -Come on, son.

Don't be ignorant. It means your Black-ass ain't got no chance.

Just because he's Black, doesn't mean that I--

Oh, come on, Dilly-Dilly.

You know how they treat Blacks now!

All the reversed racism as is, and discriminated lawsuits.

Oh, God.

But I'm good at what I do.

Boy, you ain't shit!

I'm a gardener. Your granddaddy was a gardener.

Hell, it's probably some old slave, cotton fields DNA shit.

Word. That's how DNA works, Pop?

You're the smartest cookie on the planet,

but minorities don't have to be as smart

or as talented to get ahead.

It's a colored man's world.

We're just lucky to get gravity.

But I'm good.

You're good, but you're not Black.

You're doing good, but don't fool yourself.

It's in the White man's garden.

And we just handle their manure.

For my good news,

Steve and I are selling the house!

What do you mean, "Selling the house"?

Dad bought that land.

He built the house from the first brick.

Oh, I know, I know, but Steve wants to take me

to sail the Mexicos. We need the money.

I told him I am not eating chimichangas all day,

-but-- -Fuck Steve!

Hey...

Steve was there for me after your dad passed.

My dad.

Your husband!

30 years, remember?

Oh, Mr. Rubin from the center called.

Said the donations dried up and they have to close the doors.

What? When was this? If they close, those kids will be on the streets.

-Their biz, not mine. -My tech kids have been busting their asses

for the Robo-Tech Competition next month,

and they were building a kids' size Voltron.

He said unless you come up

with the entry and transport fees,

-y'all have to withdraw. -Those kids' future depends on this.

-I'll get the money. -I'm gonna get the money.

-I'm gonna get that promotion. -I'm gonna get that promotion.

-Have you been working out? -No.

-Been on any good dates lately? -Like with real women? Also no.

Well, what if I set you up with this spicy little Latin number?

Is this some sort of green card scam?

No, God, no.

She is super American.

-How American? -Like...

watching Pitch Perfectwith a cold slice of pumpkin pie...

And a dollop of cinnamon whipped cream!

Well, make sure she's got the spicy,

because I got the curry for sure-y.

- Chic-chica! - Oh, yeah!

I don't fucking get it.

There's money and there's bullshit.

Which one do you think I prefer to talk about?

I'm not my dad.

First things first. Lainee, crack run.

My usual. Don't make my day any worse.

I don't have time for all the formalities.

So, I merged your two interviews together.

You have three words or less,

preferably less,

to tell me why you want the job.

No fake work bullshit, okay? Go.

Uh... Mom selling dad!

Center shut down!

First, second. Though, you were both so underwhelming.

You know what? I don't need another soft-ass Will.

I need a fucking killer.

Someone that's going to help this company hide a body...

if we need to.

Maybe I misjudged--

Hey, Jim.

Good to hear from you too! You both failed.

That means get the fuck out!

Oh, so sad about Will.

Yeah, we're all still just reeling over here.

I can't stop crying... Yeah.

Okay.

It's okay, alright? Peop-- People get fired every day.

If the boss wants her fired... "You're out of here!"

Better her than me.

I do my job, and I do it damn good.

Ever since little Harry was second grade pencil sharpening monitor.

You think anybody had any pencil pokes that year? Any lead poisoning?

Not on my watch. Not on my watch!

-Brendan! -Gah!

Uh, your speech, it was inspiring,

it got my adrenaline pumping.

Um, you have something...

No, it's--

-Still? -Uh, it's more...

What, man?

You need to run harassment training today.

I need to mask up...

and then go fire a bitch.

It couldn't be that bad.

Bad is driving your dad's car into the Whomping Willow.

I'd take that over this any day.

It's like Harry playing Quidditch without his Firebolt.

Damn! Seriously?

I could've done better selling Black Lives Matter shirts at a tea party rally.

If it means anything, Ami said I came in first.

Aight!

Nah, brah.

Bro! You know, when you have sex with a new female,

you don't even recognize your own cock anymore.

Yo, what the fuck are you talking about?

We got to get extra hard, papi!

Fuck being a field nigga! It's Birth of a Nation time, master!

And we're ready for all you motherfuckers!

We built this nation. It's time we take it back.

-What do you mean? -I mean, look at them.

Conspiring, thinking what else they can steal.

Not this time, Kunta.

Them ankles are mine, boy!

We're about to make this office great again.

Nigga...

White people have been playing dirty for...

Well, literally for fucking ever.

And that's why they have power everywhere.

Why do you think they're not in power anywhere?

Cheating and crying only gets you so far.

-But before he can steal from you... -We need to...

...sabotage him and get you back in the hunt.

-Huh? -You want to save...

...your dad's house, right?

-I don't know. -It doesn't seem right.

-Right ain't going to... -...keep the kids in the center and off the streets, papa.

Look, I'm not talking about killing the guy...

...unless you're ready to take it there, homie.

-I don't-- -No.

Just playing.

We're just going to kill any equal opportunity bullshit.

Little reparations for everything they did to our ancestors, dawg!

Whip cracking reform!

Mental warfare, nigga!

Storm the beaches of their cerebral cortezzz.

We make him look bad at work...

...so you get another shot at the promotion, my G.

For your Dad.

Para los ni�os...

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, I'm not a starving artist.

I'm just nibbly.

Whatever, bro.

Bob! Peach bellini partini!

-Uh, it's actually Tom. -But don't forget to tip, Bob.

-Laurie? -It's Lainee.

-Oh, it says Laurie on the cup. -Oh, "The cup says."

-What does my birth certificate know? -I don't know.

What the hell is this?

I'll tell you what it's not.

It's not what my boss ordered!

Tell me. I was gonna look at your name tag,

but your identity isn't worth a single second of my life.

I'm just gonna call you, "Guy."

Got it, guy?

-Guy, do you hate me? -No...

- Guy, do you want me to lose my internship?

Huh? Drop out of college. Inevitably end up with a crippling meth addiction.

That pushes me into selling this sweet ass

in some bottom-feeding corner in a redneck trailer park,

where drugs will end my precious little life, before I even drive a car,

or worse, kiss a boy for the first time!

Is that you want, guy?

Then make me the single shot, double drip, cream-dream supreme

with a triple pump, sugar free, fructose blend,

one half almond, one half lactose cream,

93 degree caramel macchiato, that I ordered!

Do you want whip on that?

Not going to stop this, big boy.

Alright, everybody. Get your hippy bracelet hands in the air now.

I mean, get on the ground!

Now!

Nice doing business with you, Mr. Zangang.

I'll see you tomorrow, at eight, okay?

All right.

What the fuck? The fuck wrong with this phone, man?

Get the fuck off my ear, man!

Hey, man! Hey, hey, hey!

Hey-- Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not you, Mr. Zangang!

Oh, you still on the phone?

I didn't mean that shit, you know what I'm saying? I ju--

Did I say "shit"? I'm sorry, Mr. Zan--

Uh, yeah. It's just, you know, with a little more--

just a little business that I got to attend to.

It's all good, Mr. Zan-- how about you hang up first?

? I don't trust no hoe ?

? I don't be trusting a hoe ?

? I don't be trusting a hoe ?

? Yeah, yeah ?

Tyrone!

What's up, my nigga?

Nothing.

You see that?

Did you see that?

I was playing it cool. You dig?

Wasn't even trying to jive, my man!

But racially insensitive words...

"Insensitive words," write it down now!

No matter what tone, make people uncomfortable.

Makes them disengage and feel isolated.

Tyrone immediately retreated to Twitter,

begging for a hug.

Probably tormented with thoughts of his grandparents

being whipped on the plantation!

Or of his pops...

running out on his crackhead Mom,

only to be shot by some honky-tonk cop!

All lives matter, Tim?

My parents are with my grandparents, on a cruise in the Bahamas.

Slave ship genetics? I get it.

And that's why there's no room for racist,

bigoted stereotyping...

...comments or jokes.

Oh... Excuse me, homes.

You got a problem, Juan?

Because unless you Juan't one,

you better tell me what the fuck is up!

Nothing, man. It's just my little brother.

He's just talking shit, because he won his science fair

I won, like, seven years ago.

Science fairs...

Science fairs in Mexico?

What kind of pinche gringo do you take me for?

These motherfuckers really think they're resilient.

Okay. Time to step the fuck up.

I don't know. I'm getting some real guilty vibes.

I saw Malcolm X flipping me off before I passed out.

-I think we should just drop it. -Drop it?

You just want to drop it?

Did your father just drop the hammer,

when he built a house for his family to live in?

Huh? Now you just don't care.

What? No, I...

think I'm just gonna go to Ami and tell her I was nervous.

Ask for a second chance.

Young Dylan,

- you just don't get it. - Ow!

You don't get second shots.

Only those freeloading, half-assed minorities,

who ride the wave of equal opportunity

to get what they want.

So, here's what we're gonna do.

I don't know, bro. Just seems like I should ask Ami for another shot.

All this racial focus is starting to backfire.

Bro, the KKK was in the bathroom earlier.

Exactly, bro. Ex-fucking-actly!

These White motherfuckers still think they can tell us where to shit,

where to eat, how to vote.

Well, today, the whip cracks back. Wha-pssh!

But if I get a second shot and I crush it, it won't matter.

"Won't matter?" "It won't matter?"

Ha! "Won't matter?"

White people are fucking evil, bro.

Do you think they let the slaves go when they were crushing it in the field?

Do you think they let Martin Luther King live,

when he was crushing it with non-violence?

The only thing they're fucking crushing,

is our opportunity in this country, papa!

I get it, but sometimes hard work

- can really pay off, you just gotta--

The ironing.

Wait, do you mean irony?

No wonder you fucking tanked the interview.

Oh, the ironing. Like trying to smooth out a wrinkle situation.

Pshhh!

"The irony." Nobody "ironies" their clothes.

Pshh!

Dumb ass.

"Laurie, I know you're a hard worker. Maybe too hard.

The company decided to go into a new direction."

No.

"This part of the job is always a struggle.

It's never easy to fire someone, especially when that someone

is the someone I'm talking to." Ugh!

"Laurie. You gots to go, bitch!"

Yeah.

-Laurie... -Yes?

Hey, I--

I just, um...

Right?

What? So sad about Will, huh?

Who knew that part of the body could bend that much?

Harry?

? I'm a man ?

? Created fire with our hands ?

? I'm a man ?

? Stole and pillaged many lands ?

? I'm a man ?

? When I pee, I stand ?

? I'm a man, yes, I am?

? Yes, I am, I'm a man?

? Eve took the first bite Adam still stood beside her ?

? Y'all fight for equal rights but call us to kill a spider??

? You think childbirth is hard? We put a man on the moon ?

? I'd have like 20 kids a year if you gave me a womb ?

? So listen up, huh? Here's how it's going down ?

? Laurie, you're fired get the fuck outta town ?

? Oh wait, what? You don't know who I am? ?

? Trick, looky here I'm a man, I'm a man ?

? I'm a maaaaaaaaaaan...?

? I'm a man?

I'm a man.

Men, right?

According to the sign on the door.

Yes, yes. Yes!

-Nigga, what the fuck? -What the fuck? N' sync n' shit.

? Bye, bye, bye! ?

Let's keep this real nice and easy, everybody.

Guitar man, play me some robbery music.

Come on!

We're gonna take him down. Man up!

Actually, I've been considering a sex change for the past two minutes.

Our insurance place are surprisingly flexible and--

I'm gonna give you a Tijuana sex change if you don't shut it.

You distract him, I'll disarm him.

Don't freeze.

Not the cheap stuff.

-Who are you? -It ain't Laurie, motherfucker.

Shit!

- Please, please, don't go, please.

Oh, fuck! Ooh, it's on the tip.

Oh, that's poo poo water. That's diarrhea, baby.

Oh, God help me, please!

-Oh, man. Miles, thank God. -I'm sorry, Shayne. I really gotta go.

Don't laugh, but my shoe got stuck.

We have midday presentations in like, ten minutes.

-I have to go-- I have to go to the bathroom. -Please, please.

-There you go. -And there you go!

What? Oh, my G--

Shayne! Shayne!

I'm trying!

-I think it's stuck! -Come on, Shayne!

Miles, it is stuck!

Stop embarrassing yourself!

Damn it, Shayne!

Look...

You're a professional trapped in a stairwell.

It's not like you jumped on some-- nigga, shit!

And opted for a stairwell over a legit bathroom.

You'll get Sanj to clean it up. That's it.

It's not like the stairs are up for a promotion, my nigga.

Oh!

Woo! Woo!

Fuck you, shayne!

Shit.

-Where you been at, bro? Middays! -I know--

-Oh, let me grab my-- -Thumb drive! Let's go.

Bitch, I need a job!

-Oi! -How are you?

Mira, bien y t�? Mira, muy bonito.

? Mar�a, Mar�a ?

? She reminds me of a West Side... ?

? ...Story ?

So this is the infamous Juan Guapo Hungrod Martinez?

No way.

-S� way. -Hmm...

You don't look totally Latino.

-You mixed with something? -Maybe a little agave, jalape�o...

But other than that... todo Guadalajara.

Okay, well, if you're a real Chicano, answer me this.

-Where's the best place to party in TJ? -Hey, chica.

-I'm gonna stop you right there. -Oh...

Only gringos go to TJ to party.

Okay, let's get real then.

You're planning the guest list for your niece's quincea�era.

Which of the family members get reserved parking?

Backyard or event hall?

Backyard.

-Well? -Nobody.

They all park on the grass.

Well, okay. I guess you really are el jefe.

I told you!

So listen up, mm-kay?

I'm gonna need a volunteer.

Uh, um, uh...

Nanette! Okay.

Why not? Sure, come on up.

Yeah. Oh, jeez--

Oh...

So, additional to racism,

there's, uh, sexual and religious her ass...

Her ass-- Harassment!

Harassment!

And obviously, I didn't call Nanette up here to read

The Bible.Am I right?

Good.

Can we speed this up?

Yeah...

So, we all watch sports, right?

What do all the teammates say when someone does a good job?

-Good job. -Right!

Righty-o. Natural athlete.

Three pointer, Tyrone!

And they always follow up with a little gesture...

just to solidify the compliment.

Hey, Nannette,

good job on unclogging that printer jam.

- Hey, Nanette. - -Did he just-- was that a slap?

Great job on that presentation today.

You see what's happening here?

We're a team!

Just like any sport, yes?

Sure, our arena is a little different, but...

are we still not trying to win it all?

So, that's why there's nothing wrong...

with cheering your teammates on.

Hey, Nannette.

Marksman-like accuracy on that calendar invite.

Oh...

Oh shit!

- Oh shit! - Oh!

Right here. If we expand our target audience,

we could see a 45% jump

in overall revenue for that sector.

Oh...

-Lady Fiya, we're going to cool you off. -Uh... This isn't mine.

Kind of hard to cool off a... hot girl!

Uh...

- Uh, uh... - What's wrong, boys?

-Too much ass-phyxiation? -Uh...

Smell like shit.

? Roll, roll, roll your blunt ?

? Then you let it steam ?

? Pass it over to your friend ?

Oh, hell, no. They ain't getting none of this.

Mm.

Damn! Damn!

Here's one! When is it acceptable to touch a co-worker's privates?

When your shoe is turning his baby nuts into Gerbers!

Oh, damn son!

- I told your ass! - I told--

- Drink more protein! - Woo!

Dang!

Tim...

He did it.

When I left my office, he fucking did it!

What are you talking about?

- Besides, I'm more of a MILF chaser.

Great! One of my candidates is a porn junkie,

and the other is on CP time.

-She did it! She trapped me in the stairwell! -Moi?

Hey, guys. I'm sure that a virus just attached itself

to Dylan's presentation, and those stairwell doors,

-they get jammed all the time. We just need to fix them. -Enough!

But he did it!

Hey, Jim!

My dad's cabin? Right now?

Sure, no problem. I'll send you the code.

Will's replacement...

The guys I told you about that--

Sure. I'll send them.

And if they screw up, they're done all together.

Um, sorry about that, earlier, Laurie.

I'm a man.

And as such, there are certain responsibilities

that a man such as myself,

in a position such as mine must take.

Laurie, you've been with the company,

what, nine years now?

-And lately-- -Hold that thought, Harry.

Cramps.

Uh, okay. Yeah, sure.

Sure, sure.

Halfway there.

Not so bad.

Whale dick...

I'm a man.

I will take that whale dick, shove it right in my mouth.

and just...

- Oh, my God. Harry, I'm pregnant.

-Fuck! -Yeah, that's normally how it works with, uh...

Aah!

-Congrat-- okay. -Hi!

-Uh, be-- be right-- -Mama!

He-he! Hi!

I'm a ma--

Man, these fuckers are scandalous.

This whole time, we were trying to get them,

they were getting us.

I was trying to be nice, but fuck that.

We need to rip these motherfuckers' hearts out.

Scandalous-ass White folks, always trying to hold somebody Black!

Man, they wanted a nigga? A nigga here now!

- How here are you, bro? - Right here!

Shady-ass Black people, always trying to get over.

Okay, well, here come the colonizers.

Now you're talking, daddy. Big Dick style.

- Are you sure you're ready, dawg? -What you got?

Papi,let's just say, by the time

you're getting cozy in your new office,

a celly is going to be getting cozy in Dylan's ass.

-How you gonna do that? -Wakanda forever!

What is every Black man's kryptonite?

Black and milds? Rims?

-Gold chains? Uh, Timberlands? -Okay, okay. Ssh.

Let's just hope Miles converts to prison ball sacks

as easily as you do to your new tax bracket.

I like it.

Go.

Go and take back our country!

Fuck! I already hate this fucking place.

Cabin in the woods...

Damn it, man. No signal!

Shit. Out of my way, racist!

-Your mom's a fucking racist. -What?

-Oh, hi, guys. -Mandy?

How'd you roll up here?

Freeze, dirt turkeys!

-Ready? -No.

-Too bad! -Aw!

Ah!

I told you your name wasn't important.

Rest easy, guy.

Who is this asshole?

He... was... guy!

That was my boss' drink!

Jim?

-Mandy! Hey! -Hey!

Ha-ha!

-Hey, Jim. -Dylan Kirkpatrick, pleas--

I'm Miles Fuller, Ami said--

-As your account repre-- -Hey, I really want to tell--

Let's cut the crap, fellas. This here is real simple.

Let's rack...

...and track.

Sorry, Jim. No signal!

That's not the gear.

Let's get one with nature.

We could have just turned them off.

Okay, well, if you two are so lovey-dovey, let me see you kiss.

Un beso.

Come on.

A-ha!

Sister, I've heard the most amazing things about you,

yet words aren't even a starting point.

- Your mustache is faker than your tongue!

- Ew! - Y esto qu� es?

Papiwould never forgive you.

Not only did you fake love, you--

you faked a whole Mexican!

I don't believe it.

- You've got to be the biggest fraud in Latin culture.

After Ariana Grande.

Hey!

That kiss wasn't fake.

-It wasn't? -It wasn't?

Did it feel fake to you?

N-- no, it felt really good.

Qu�?

You guys ever fired a gun?

-Call of Duty! -Call of Duty!

I need someone with the instincts of a hunter

overseeing my account.

Kill or be killed.

It's real simple.

First person to kill something breathing

and get it back to the cabin, wins my account, but...

if I return first with the trophy,

I find a new company for my millions.

Yeah, I'm not really the "killy" type.

I was actually vegan, for a minute.

- Well, I'm not a little bitch, Jim.

-I'm game. -Wait, I thought Mandy was here to referee?

Oh, no. I asked Ami to send her.

-Me and Mandy go way back. She's great! -Fuck.

And once these loudmouths get the hell out of here

and stop scaring the wildlife with their whining,

I'm sure that a creature with a death wish will mosey on up!

That's the spirit, Mandy!

Hunting is 90% mental,

and we know Asians, when it comes to academics.

-Well, I never said I wouldn't. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I-- I'll totally bust a cap.

Let's get started!

What are you doing?

We're going with you...

to murder.

This isn't a circle jerk, buddy.

It's every man for himself.

But, we don't have GPS.

No phones, no cars, no tech.

It's just you, mother nature,

and whatever's on the kill-end of that rifle.

You can follow the high peak back to the cabin.

What the fuck does that mean?

He just abandoned us and--

Fuck my life.

? Today is the best day ?

? Of my life ?

? And I'll sing it out a thousand times ?

? Today is the best day ?

? Of my life ?

What the hell happened to you?

Civil rights.

You?

I think I fired Laurie.

- Oh, my God! - So excited! I can't believe it!

-I'm so happy for you. -Thank you!

You sure about that?

Damn it. Okay, all right.

Think, Harry, think.

? W-W-H-D ?

? What would Harry do? ?

? To keep it, Harry, true ?

? True... ?

-? Ooh-ahh-- ? -Oh, you're flat!

It centers me, okay?

What type of lawsuits did Laurie Loophole file?

Um, unlawful termination,

gender discrimination, reverse gender discrimination.

-What is that? -When they rehired her after the gender discrimination suit,

she filed another suit that said they wouldn't rehire a man.

She sued, because they rehired her?

She once sued that the splash of the toilet gave her herpes!

That's it! I'm just gonna go to Ami,

I'm-- I'm going to tell her, you know...

Something! Give me something, Brendan!

I don't know what to tell her!

That sounds like a you problem.

Ow, my face.

-What's up, man? -Hey.

-Dude, pecs are a little-- pecs are a little small, man. -Yeah?

Um, masturbate twice a day, boost the testosterone levels.

-All right? Catch you on the track, boy. -All right, cool.

- Hey, hi! - Thank you, Brent!

Ugh!

-Jos�? -Lainee?

Because if you are, you've got the wrong guy.

-I'm not Jos�. -You called off today!

- I don't call off! - -You're not calling anybody!

It's all right, little mama.

Even bosses have bad days.

Damn! Chill! Wit' yo' overly aggressive-ass!

He's literally knocked the fuck out, Larry.

-Relax, NYPD. -Hey, hey. He was robbing the place.

Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

This is one bad hombre.

Well, ain't this a whale's dick?

Oh-- oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, oh!

Dick chafe! Dick chafe! Aah!

Oh, I can't do this.

I mean, damn! Do I look African?

Did I put "tribesman" on my resume?

I'm not Man vs. Wild.

Oh, fuck...

My balls didn't drop until I was four!

-You... -You...

This is all your fault!

How convenient, man.

Even in the middle of nowhere,

you find a Black man to blame for your bullshit.

This isn't about Black or White. This whole stupid challenge

is because you and your buddy have been fucking with my chances.

What you say there, White privilege?

I was too busy shucking

and jiving, and getting fucked over,

by you and Susie side-chick, all fucking day.

I didn't do that because you're Black!

-But you did them. -You and la Raza did the same!

Always blame the White man when shit doesn't go your way?

Take responsibility for your failure.

Easy for you to say when you guys are always holding us back.

Name one time.

That's different, man. I didn't do that because you're Black, I--

Man, I need this job!

I need this job to save my dad's house.

It's all I have left of him.

I would have fucked over anybody.

Lowkey, me too, man.

I mean, I would have voted Trump over Obama,

to help keep the center open.

I just wanted the kids in my hood, man,

to have an easier path than what I had.

I don't have anything against y'all White boys.

You signed the Emancipation Proclamation.

I still wouldn't have voted Trump over Obama.

Not that piece of shit.

Hey, it looks like Handy Mandy got a leg up now.

Yeah, yeah. She'll be able to roll right in.

You got that right!

Mandy?

Why do your feet work?

Shut the fuck up, both of you.

Drop them, now.

Hey, Ami. You got a second?

For you? No.

Uh, okay.

I'm a man.

You know what, Ami? Unless you want to lose a quarter million dollars,

I suggest you make a second.

No, fuck that! Make two seconds,

because in case you haven't been paying attention,

that's exactly what trying to "fire"

Laurie Loophole has cost you.

I did some research. She has cost you 260k in lawsuits,

and now she's saying she's pregnant,

which could easily double that amount,

if we don't have a solid game plan.

So, why exactly are we firing her?

-Performance? Attendance? -I don't like her.

Okay. What exactly has she done that you don't like?

Her perfume.

It's whore-ish.

Okay, not the most legal reason.

My company, my reason.

Damn it, Ami! If you're gonna fire me anyway,

then fuck it, fire her yourself.

And when you get hit with a multimillion dollar lawsuit--

Move her to the back office.

I even catch a whiff of that bitch's scent,

and you're both fired. Got it?

You ever tell me "no" again,

it had better be over a billion dollars.

And cover your face. I don't want our clients

thinking we're having an outbreak.

Actually, Ami, this is who I am.

I'm a man, and--

And I have a great beige remoulade

I have been waiting to try.

You know, I thought for sure that this position

was going to be mine, after I got rid of Will.

What?

-You killed Will? -With that "Look at me, I'm Mr. Nice Guy"

dipshit out of my way, my tracks covered,

I just thought that this job was gonna be mine.

-Mandy, this is crazy shit-- -No!

What's crazy is the fact that you think it's easy

rolling yourself around in a wheelchair for three years,

gaining sympathy, increasing likability,

all the while trying to plot how to off

the next person up on the food chain.

Oh, and by the way, it was a perfect plot.

You know...

Will probably deserved it, with--

with all that "Ooh, look at me, I'm so helpful" crap.

Yuck! Right?

And I won't even hate on that primo handicapped

parking spot you've been milking, I mean, that's innovation!

The promotion is yours.

-Take it. -Oh, yeah. I'm gonna take it.

You see, you guys, you helped me realize that between the entitled White man

and the equal opportunity Black man, that the Asian woman

is just going to have to take an "any means necessary" approach.

Oh, and Jim said to bring back something dead, right?

Well, I'm banking on your dead asses getting me a bigger salary.

Say hi to Will.

Oh, oh! Shit!

- This way! - -Is this the way back to the cabin?

Is it? Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Damn! She's gaining on us!

- Three years of latent leg energy!

- Ha! Will thought he could get away, too.

Shit!

Man, coming back to work after lunch is like having sex with your ex,

- that you know has an incurable STD, bro!

Every fiber in you knows that you shouldn't,

- but here we are again, drenched in sex sweat...

...on our way back to the free clinic.

What the fuck...

Shit...

Bros, come on!

It's simple. It's a thrust,

-calf raise, thrust, calf raise. -Oh, my God!

There we go!

- Yo, you hearing this guy? - -What's so funny, guys?

Come on. Chicks don't like sticks.

What, y'all see my live stream last night,

of me sharting on the squat rack?

- Oh, my God! - I deleted it! What? No!

- Come on! - Happy Birthday!

Who wants cupcakes?

Wait! I never got a cake for my birthday.

-When was your birthday? -March 15th!

Maybe we missed March this year. When was it last year?

Guys, let's take 87 seconds...

...to honor our fallen comrade Will,

and the value he brought to DanRick.

Can we finish my birthday cupcakes first?

Will...

Yes, yes, we all should feel comfortable

shedding a tear or two for Will.

He was a great man.

A decent coa--

Woo!

Woo!

Oh!

Small bitch can run, man.

I'm not trying to be racist or anything, man, but...

couldn't you grab a gun? Aren't there a ton

-of shootings in South Central? -Oh, please.

You guys the ones always shooting up the schools.

-I kicked leaves, what did you do? -I pissed myself.

I was so scared.

Man, you were crying like a fucking baby.

Of course I was, she had a gun in my face!

- You didn't fear for your life? - Fear!

-Oh, shit! -False Evidence Appearing Real.

-Who are you? -He's with Mandy, bro. Come on!

-I don't belong to a Mandy. -You ain't hear those gunshots?

I heard your friend say he was scared.

I am here to clear my mind of the fear,

or False Evidence Appearing Real.

False? Those were real bullets!

Some people die from bullets, but most... die from living.

Come on, man. We don't have time to listen to his Socrates

and his forest philosophies. Come on--

Hey, man, let-- let's see what he has to say.

You know, he might have some water.

You got any water?

Drink.

Man, this that shit where, White people always curious.

So, I have this new app that's supposed to launch tonight,

but we have this... glitch.

and I think it's because, we are all more afraid of making a mistake.

We focus so much on the success, that we don't allow ourselves

to fail gracefully.

Fear... False Evidence Appearing Real.

Exactly.

-What's the app? -It's called...

"Clone."

You can post tasks that you need to be done.

Qualified people bid on the task.

And you pick the person, at their cost.

Grocery shopping list, pick up kids from school,

work spreadsheets, sperm donations.

-Anything? -Anything.

Come to your house and cook dinner naked,

then clean up after?

Domestic categories.

-Find me a girlfriend? -Uh, long term?

Or for a brief encounter?

Ooh!

- Hey, man. - I'm feeling pretty good.

Dude, like, such a good vibe!

Yeah. Yeah.

Awesome, right?

Wait, are you guys talking about my app, or about the peyote water?

Because, you never know what you're gonna get with that.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

-Relax, guys. -I've never done drugs in my life, man.

Oh, man! Oh, man! It feels like my soul

is gonna crack out of my chest plate!

Oh, wow, man! You guys need a distraction.

Loo-- look, zero in, man.

Say, do you guys know tech?

Okay, so my cloud server is having issues,

because of the memory that's allotted to it.

But if your core network is slowed with the inter-latent packet loss...

Then you have to reset the security model functions.

-Your problem isn't-- -Your problem isn't a--

-You go ahead. -Floor is yours.

It looks like it may be bogged down by a central server...

Where, with peer-to-peer compression, your data transfer

will be much more efficient.

It won't be cheap, but not only will it

fix the issue with the S.A.T. framework...

Your sustainability will improve an additional...

-five years. -Start a crowdfunding.

-35k will do. -Wow!

You guys are either tripping balls or geniuses.

-Crap! -What?

-High peak! -Gotta go!

Wait, guys!

Oh shit.

-This way? -Yeah, that way.

Miles, I'm White. You got to slow it down!

Come on, man. Let's go!

We're almost there, man. Come on!

Oh, shit!

That bitch!

Agh! She blocked us in!

He shot our phones.

-What are we gonna do? -We're stuck.

Ah, shit!

Yes, Mandy. That's the spirit!

Well, you're just full of will power.

-What are you doing? -I saw it on a movie once.

It's an old school Uber.

You put your thumb up and a car picks you up.

-How does it work? -I imagine, the body puts out

some sort of cosmic beacon.

You're the secret to jacking off.

Kinetic energy!

We don't have to pay him in blowjobs, do we?

-We need to talk! -We need to talk!

Well, I'll let you guys get to it.

I hope I helped.

Hey, guys. Can I talk to you for a sec?

Are you fricking kidding me?

Rape, embezzlement, attempted murder!

-What? -What? What are you talking about?

We didn't try to rape Mandy! Ew!

No, you just tried to kill her!

-She tried to kill us! -Oh, sure.

She tried to run you over in her wheelchair.

Roadkill, right? Cool story, bro.

She was shooting at us!

And her legs aren't useless, bro.

They just pale! Look, just look.

- Oh, come on. What are you doing? - No, Miles!

No, no, no, no. No, really.

-What? -See!

No, no, come on! Look, she stands! See! See!

That-- that's mierda!

-I just said it! -It's okay, Harry.

They don't call me "Handy Mandy" for nothing.

Dance...

- Jesus Christ. - You seeing this?

It's a diversion!

And the money you've been embezzling!

What you did to Shayne!

I wasn't even working here then!

Are you kidding me? Man, I don't date White girls!

I'm not racist, though, all right?

We were gonna promote one of you!

We trusted you guys and you repay us with slander?

Okay, okay. He didn't rape Shayne.

She set him up, to get me promoted.

-Well, that's a reach-around! -And the money wasn't stolen.

-Lonzo faked it to take him out of the running. -Hmm, no, bro.

- Leave me out of this one! - Oh...

What happened to good, old-fashioned hard work?

Fucking end this already!

Harry, this isn't even a company report.

These pictures are obviously photoshopped on Microsoft Paint.

There's no need to call the cops.

Uh-- I need to make a call.

-Hold, but she really tried to kill us, man! -Oh, sure.

I mean, you guys just admitted you're willing to break

all morality and principles for a job,

but now we're supposed to believe that...

the woman in the wheelchair, in the woods,

attempted to murder you?

You guys are more fucked than I am.

Oh, fuck me.

Let's make this easy.

-You're both fired. Leave the key fobs. -But-- but--

but what about the kids' size Voltrons?

What about my dad's house?

-I said, "Fired!" -But-- but come on!

Congrats on staying alive.

Job's yours.

Congrats, Mandy.

My bad, G. Guess we took it a little too far, huh?

Right... Well, fuck them crack-ass crackers!

-Right? -'Zo, do me a favor.

Yeah, I got you, man. Anything.

Fuck off!

So fucking typical.

They had to go pull some bullshit Rooney Rule.

But you had real dick, Dylan.

You deserve that manipulative red dress.

You know, I'd rather paper-slice my dick hole

and stick it in a tank full of piranhas,

than fuck with a racist bitch like you.

He is such a hung dick right now.

-Grab a beer? -I was gonna say shots.

But-- wait, wait, wait. The office closed early today?

No, they're having a little party.

What-- a party? Hey, and they best be

cleaning up after they self, too.

Why do you both have boxes? Who got the promotion?

Yeah, now y'all moving on up!

-No, we're moving on out. -Hmm?

What? No promotion?

No job.

Hey, Lainee.

Don't be afraid to be a kid for a little while.

Yeah, a long while.

Deuces, Ant.

Fuck this place.

Oh, sorry, guys. This spot's actually reserved,

but I have another great spot free over by the bar.

Hey, dudes.

Usually I'll say a double, but you guys look like you need a triple.

Got you.

Profiling over here, because my boy's wearing a White tee.

-Can't get VIP? -Look, man.

I'm really sorry for everything.

I respect you for trying to save your pop's crib. I mean...

My sister is in real estate, I can hit her up for options?

I appreciate it, man, but I don't know how much

that's gonna do for me, with no money.

I'm sorry for you, too, man.

If I could help out those kids in any way, I would.

You didn't try to end my life today, man.

-It was that fake crippled bitch. -Mm-hmm.

-See, that's what's wrong with this country. -Mm-hmm.

-Scandalous people. -Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Ahh!

I mean, there's always freelance,

but I need a consistent paycheck.

I hear that.

Now, I live with a roommate who steals my shit

and sells it on eBay.

- Well, at least you have your own space.

Man, I still live in my parents' garage...

where they still park at, man!

-Another round! -Another round!

Come on. One, two, three!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Woo! Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Woo!

- We got a handy from Mandy. - Man!

I don't know what sucks more, us getting shafted,

or us losing to Mandy, man. I'm not a loser!

And I never lose!

I only have a found box, because I've never lost anything.

Oh, watch this.

I never had sex!

Because I didn't want to lose my virginity.

We should open our own firm.

With no money, imagine that.

I'm trying to imagine how we're gonna pay these bills!

Uh, I'm playin the black card...

- Imagination is a state of being.

Man! You are everywhere!

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Huh?

Are you a Clone app?

-Drink, guys. -Huh?

-Enjoy! -Oh-- Oh.

- The drink. I know what you like to drink!

- Peyote. - It's my specialty.

But today we are celebrating.

-Huh? Huh? -Come on over, guys.

-You're a big part of the reason. -Okay.

Transfer their check to mine,

-double everything on this table. -Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

-I want these guys passed out, in an hour? -Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

- Come on. - Yes, yes. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go, free drinks, man! Come on, come on!

- Get your ass up, let's go drink beer.

- Oh, shit! Sorry about that, ladies.

-Ha-ha! Oh-- oh! -I'm not sorry.

-Yep. -Hi, I'm Dylan!

? Everybody bounce ?

-So, the launch went great? -Well...

We didn't actually launch.

After I heard your recommendations,

I was feeling so good about the demo.

I made a couple of calls, and sold the app for 30 mil.

That deserves a salute!

- At least one of us made it out nice today, man.

So, you guys were over there, talking about opening a firm.

-What type? -Software.

-Like we do now. -Well, if you are half as good

as that problem solving in the woods...

you're hired!

Specifically, what are you saying?

Because I'm very intoxicated.

I owe you guys.

I... will... invest...

In us?

Say in us, please say in us!

In you.

- Oh! - Yeah!

-Hoo-hoo! -Hey, Brandy,

have legal draft up contracts for these guys.

Welcome aboard!

So, you guys start thinking of names for the new company.

We're gonna need a leader, man.

-You're hired! -Oh, Dylan, man.

I need a strong co-lead by my side, man!

You hired, bro!

I think that deserves a toast!

Congratulations!!!

Cheers!

- You're so pretty... - Thank you, stop!

All right. Cheers.

Mmm!

And I would have gotten away with it,

if it weren't for you, Captain White Dick,

and Black Panther Cock.

- We know... - -What you've been doing...

- ...On company... - ...Time!

- Say hi to mother Russia, Brendan!

- I can't-- I can't go! I c-- let go! No!

Your stripes are running, because you're a faketriot!

This is harassment! No!

Pshh!

Don't work up a sweat and get your back all wet.

What did you say, Ann Coulter wannabe?

You got a problem, ese?

-Yeah, Nazi snowflake. -Ugh!

- ? Put her in a box put her in a box ?

? Put her in a box put her in a box ?

? Put her in a box put her in a box ?

? And throw away the keys to the lock ?

But, Harry!

Well, well, well.

- If it isn't my old pal, Handy Mandy.

Or should I say, Murder Mandy?

-How the fuck did you find me, Sanders? -Oh, it wasn't easy.

Some might even say, "Not so simple."

Those three men you decapitated in Tennessee.

The little old lady's hand you cut off.

Jackson Hole.

Seattle.

Houston, we have a problem.

-And finally-- -No, until finally,

I left behind a clue so obvious,

that even your blind ass couldn't miss it.

- Replacing Will's eyeballs with testicles? A little sloppy.

Why stop, hmm? Why stop at 100 bodies?

Well, maybe I'm tired, Sanders?

Tired of all the blood and all the running, or...

you know, maybe I'm not!

Do you hear that?

- No, no, no, no... - Mmm...

Or maybe I just set your bitch-ass up.

I mean, don't flaunt it, if you're not gonna throw it.

Will be getting it in!

Will be getting it in!

He don't play. I don't play.

That's just the way we live.

Will be getting it in!

W-- Will be getting it in!

He don't play. I don't play.

That's just the way we live.

That-- that's just the way we live.

-Bro, we're business partners now! -Bro!

Hey, man.

Now that we're business partners.

Can I say the N word?

Dude, you gave me the smallest room in your dad's crib!

At least there's no car there! And I'm gonna make

the biggest donation to those kids' tech thing.

All right, one free pass, yeah?

One free pass. All right?

What's up, my n--