All language subtitles for Grunt.The.Wrestling.Movie.1985.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG

"Skull crusher" Johnson,

the current titleholder, gouges

at the eyes of the challenger,

"mad dog" Joe de curso.

Slams a forearm to the throat.

And tosses him over the top rope.

He's going after him.

Fans are scattering.

Skull crusher drives him
into a row of chairs

here at ringside.

At stake is a $25,000 winner-take-all purse

and the world's heavyweight
wrestling championship belt.

Oh, no! Skull crusher crashes
a chair onto mad dog's head,

sending him crawling to the
floor like sawdust to the mill.

Skull crusher drags the
challenger back into the ring,

and he suplexes his massive
frame over the top rope.

And a flying elbow to the windpipe.

Another flying elbow, even more vicious.

Skull crusher goes for the pin.

Get up, mad dog!

But mad dog throws off

the body-pressing masked man.

Skull crusher goes right back at him,

grabbing mad dog's arm

and whipping him into the turnbuckle.

He hits him with a knee
to the solar plexus.

And again.

Come on! Hit him! Hit him!

Mad dog is
about to feel the wrath

of skull crusher.

But no, no. Mad dog regains his wits.

Does a quick reversal.

And flips the startled skull
crusher to the floor!

What an evening this is.

Outside, winds are savagely howling.

Thunder and lightning lurk in
the not-far-away distance.

All this unseasonal
merriment setting the tone

for the first-ever meeting
between these two giants

of the wrestling world.

The champion's playing dirty now.

He's wishboning mad dog
against the ring post.

And sweet Lola, mad dog's fiery manager

of the past two years,
doesn't like it one bit.

Mad dog is surely paying
the price of being a man.

In some circles, that's known
as the old walnut cracker.

That good enough for you, Lola?

And here's the final blow.

But he missed!

Mad dog shakes off his agony.

That man has heart.

Blow after blow from mad dog.
He won't stop.

He's making mincemeat out of skull crusher.

Now the headlock.

He burns the eyes of the
masked man across the ropes

and into the turnbuckle.
The tide has turned.

The fans can feel the
electricity in the air.

And I don't mean that storm raging outside,

ladies and gentlemen.

And now mad dog's clawing at that mask.

He wants it removed once and for all.

He can smell victory.

But, wait. Skull crusher's manager,

j.j.j., jumped into the ring.

He's beating the champion on the coconut.

And here comes Lola.

This is insanity.

Ladies and gentlemen, no one has ceded.

Lola's pumped up, and she's
working on j.J.J.'S head.

And the ref doesn't know what's up or down.

Mad dog is caught. He's
caught between the ropes.

Skull crusher ricochets
from rope to rope now

and launches a flying tackle at mad dog.

But mad dog was playing possum.

Skull crusher is caught in the hangman,

and I mean caught.

His neck is completely
entwined in the ropes.

But mad dog won't quit.

The challenger bounces from rope to rope.

Skull crusher is completely helpless.

Oh, my god, I can't believe
this is happening!

This is terrible.

This is the worst
catastrophe in the history

of professional wrestling.

Commissioner. Commissioner!

Commissioner! Have you made a decision yet?

Does a guy that loses his
head lose his title?

We still have not made a decision yet.

We're cautious of setting a precedent.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
it has been a long day.

Mr. commissioner! - J.J.J.

You're the champ, skull
crusher Johnson's, manager.

What do you think about the possibility

that he may lose his title? - Look...

With all due regard to the commissioner,

it is my opinion and the
opinion of the fans

that skull crusher Johnson
is still the champion.

Skull crusher Johnson has
come back from worse.

Far worse than this. You can believe that.

Mad dog Joe
de curso was disqualified

for the brutal decapitation
of the champion,

skull crusher Johnson,

but is skull crusher Johnson
still the champion?

Can a man lose his head and
still retain the championship?

All I ask for is a head on my beer,

not a head in my lap.

How do you feel
about what just happened?

Horrified. - Shocked.

Horrified. - Shocked.

Three months
ago, you were horrified.

How do you feel now?

Shocked. - Horrified.

Shocked. - Horrified.

I got the blood out.

I couldn't get the chalk, though.

This is my good shirt, too.

Wrestling great mad dog Joe de curso

was acquitted today of manslaughter charges

resulting from the accidental
decapitation of his opponent,

skull crusher Johnson, some four months ago

in a championship bout at
the olympic auditorium.

Then, in a bizarre turn of
events, mad dog went berserk,

body-slamming the judge, a
bailiff, and the entire jury.

He's now serving 90 days
in the county jail.

After being released from jail,

mad dog Joe de curso sank
into a deep depression.

A depression so deep and binding

that all attempts to draw him out failed.

Mad dog Joe was last spotted
standing in a breadline

at the mission mission in San Francisco...

Out of work, out of worth.

Dejected and humiliated,
he reportedly ended it all

by leaping to his death from the
Oakland bay bridge in 1979.

What's the decision? - People have

a right to be informed
about this situation!

You don't seem to be doing
your job as commissioner.

Have you reached a decision?

Yes.

After long and careful deliberation,

we have reached a decision

concerning the championship title.

It has been brought to our attention

that skull crusher Johnson
has not defended his title

in the six years since his decapitation.

We are declaring the title vacant.

We will select from our rating
system the top 10 contenders,

who will meet in a battle-royale
elimination match

to determine the new and rightful heir

to the professional wrestling crown.

Commissioner, what about
the championship belt?

If I remember correctly,

it was buried with the skull crusher.

Uh, w-we'll get back to you with a decision

on that as soon as we can.

Uh, thank you, gentlemen. That's all.

Thanks, boys. That will be all.

Wrestler, folk hero...

Mad dog Joe de curso.

Unusual. Mysterious.

The baddest of the bad.

Or was he?

Hi. I'm Leslie uggams.

No, not the Leslie uggams.

I'm a director.

But my passion has always
been for wrestling.

Ever since when I was a young child

and walked into my parents' bedroom,

and my father said to me, "get out of here.

We're wrestling," frankly,
I've been fascinated by it.

But since I'm clumsy and bruise easily,

I found I couldn't wrestle.

But I could direct.

And now I've had the opportunity to combine

my passion for wrestling

and my love of filmmaking
to make this documentary.

What you have just witnessed
is a chronicle of events

after the accidental
decapitation six years ago

in the ring by mad dog Joe curso.

De curso.

What? - De curso.

His name was mad dog Joe de curso.

Thank you.

De curso.

Mad dog Joe de curso.

A man. A legend. An enigma.

There are many people, very many people,

who believe that mad dog Joe de curso

didn't commit suicide by
jumping off of that bridge.

By jumping off of any bridge.

They believe that he has
returned as the mask...

A good-guy wrestler, an idol of children,

a kisser of dogs.

After touring Japan and england,

the mask is on his way
to the United States.

Is it possible that mad dog Joe de curso,

the baddest of the bad,

has now become the goodest of the good?

That's what we're here to find out...

The truth.

J captain carnage j

j Dr. tweed j

j the mask, miss Linda, and Adrian street j

j the human bomb shelter &

j Jake "the snake" j

j ask mad dog de curso
if it's real or fake j

j "golden Greek" tolos j

j the giant goon j

j dick kopf, El toro j

j the grunt brothers, too j

j the wild samoans got
something crazy going j

j they're gonna be going
after you, you, you j

j wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger than life &

we're on our way to meet the mask,

who is inside his dressing room right now

preparing for an upcoming match.

Aaaaahhhh!

If I'm supposed to be a warrior,

why don't I have a headdress?!

Uhh! Raaahhh!

Or a shrunken head?!

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Or even teeth?! Uhh!

Uh! Uh! How can I be me?!

What the hell do you mean,
how can you be you?

You're you, aren't you?
You think you're you?

Yes, I'm me. - You think you're you?

Yes, I'm me. - Tell me. I don't hear you.

Yes, I'm Mel - are you you?

I'm me! - Are you you?

Right directly behind me

is the dressing room of the mask.

Let's go inside and meet
the man behind the mask.

What are you doing here?!

Who told you you could come back here?

No cameras! Absolutely no
cameras until the show.

Now get out of here!

Go on.

Get out of here before I burst you!

Beat it!

Hello. Mr. mask?

Mr. mask, I'd like to ask
you a couple of questions

about yourself, Mr. mask.

Uh, excuse me. Excuse me.

Can... will you just talk to me?!

Aah!

J wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger than
life, life, life, life j

j wrestling tonight j

watch... watch the camera!

Rock 'n' roll!

Get him, mask!

Take him out, mask!

For $24 a year, you get a membership

into the "mad dog is mask" fan club.

And for an extra $12.95, you
get one of these handmade

very nice barking mad dog guns.

Come on! Come on, mask.

Take the bum out!

Take him out!

And I, being the founder and president,

will very soon hold a national
meeting in Las Vegas, Nevada.

I tell you, mask is mad dog,

or mad dog is mask.

It doesn't matter how you say it.

It all comes out the same.

Get him, mask!

Allez! Gol

look, both guys have the
same wrestling style.

See? The manta ray.

The eastern panther.

The humility pose.

Get him, mask!

Snap that vertebrae.

Aah! - He's dead! Aah!

The victory pose!

Mask, pick the little bunny up. That's it!

What did I tell you, huh?

Dr. tweed, the head of the
"mask is mad dog" fan club

agreed to take off time
from his very busy schedule

to meet with us and let us in
on the details and intricacies

of why he feels mad dog Joe is the mask.

Oh, uh, hey, kids. Hey,
wait a minute there.

Uh, we're trying to make
a movie here, alright?

No, no. Maybe you didn't hear me.

I said, "we're trying
to make a movie here."

It's very important, okay?

Now go on! Beat it! Now go on.

Get out of here! Beat it, alright?

Leslie, do you want me to
come in again or what?

Charlie! Charlie stroll!

Hey. Hey, Dr. tweed.

How are you? - Come here.

Charlie used to be my vice president

of the mad dog Joe fan club.

I invited him here. Listen, Leslie.

Charlie runs this men's store
on Van nuys boulevard.

Oh, very exclusive.

Oh, yeah? Where on Van nuys?

On the corner.

Which corner? - Depends.

This guy knew mad dog Joe
since they were kids.

Oh, they both had the same foster parents.

They went to different schools together.
Everything.

This is a very knowledgeable guy.

Talk to him, Leslie.

Talk to him.

Gee, I don't know that much, really.

So, Joe's mother tells this bad fortune

to this rich guy, and he is
not very happy about it.

You know, it comes true, so...

You know what I mean?

Well, a few years after
that, a few years later,

Joe and his daddy immigrate
from Italy to the U.S. of a.

And that's where Joe's dad made
his living fighting cocks.

Here.

I got a photo of him right here.

See? That's him.

So, the mob rubs out Joe's father

for fixing cockfights.

He's feeding amphetamines to his chickens.

Like they ain't never
fixed nothing themselves?

So, you both think Joe is the mask.

Yeah.

You betcha. - You bet.

Lookit, Joe had that...

That love of the sport,

the animal ferocity

that went right for the heart.

Those same qualities are
in the mask, right?

Joe was famous worldwide

for the John tolos punch into the sleeper.

Yeah. - What's the mask famous for?

The John tolos punch into the sleeper.

Mad dog is the mask.

The mask is mad dog. - Mask is mad dog.

If that's so, how do you explain the fact

that the mask and Joe had
identical chest tattoos?

Joe had tattoos on his
arm, and the mask doesn't.

Joe had tattoos on his arm.

The mask has scars on his arm.

He could have had them removed.

There are three or four basic treatments

used for tattoo removal...

Cryotherapy, where we
freeze the dyed tissue

and hope that, when
replacement skin grows back,

the tattoo doesn't come back with it;

the variot method of chemical removal,

where we rub tannic acid
into the tattooed area,

and then, using silver nitrate sticks,

we burn away the upper epidermal layers.

Is there scarring? - Yes.

There's always scarring.

There's also skin graft
surgery and laser surgery,

but these are outrageously
expensive and painful.

Tattoos may be cheap to
get, but they're no bargain

to have removed.

Some of the eastern bloc countries

are experimenting with
entire arm transplants

for tattoo removal.

Arm transplants?

Is that what it sounds like it means?

Precisely.

The entire arm is removed,

and a donor arm is sewn in place.

Are there any complications?

Yes, but relatively minor...

Changes in sleeve length,

ring size, fingerprint configuration,

arm hair, things like that,

but, hey, no scarring.

Ace, you've got to be more aggressive.

This is Lola's gym.

She has a team of girls she wrestles...

Killer tomato and Ace. Regular foxes.

Been doing it ever since Joe disappeared.

Come on in and talk to her.

Okay?

Make your move.

Get her by the hair, tomato.

Aah! Aah!

What are you people doing here?

Uh, please, Lola. We'd like to ask you

a couple of questions about Joe.

Get out of here. - We're not reporters.

We're making a documentary
about Joe's life.

Get out of here. - And I'd just like

to ask you one question, please.

Do you think... do you
think Joe is the mask?

Lola, can I just ask you...

One question. Do you think Joe is the mask?

That's all. - Get lost.

We're just making a documentary.

There's no... will you please come back?

God damn it, Lola!

Leslie. Leslie. Leslie!

Hey. That's okay.

Why didn't she talk? - Get in the cab.

Just get in the cab. Come on.

Now, remember, Leslie...

This is a woman.

I know. We... the gentle
approach works best.

We screwed up. We shouldn't
have gone to her job, anyway.

- That was a bad idea.
- That was yesterday.

This is a better idea. - This is now.

I'll be cool. - Be in the moment.

The flowers... great idea.

Come in!

Honey, get up here. - Good morning, Lola.

Come on, honey.

Aah! Aaaah!

Ugh! Please! Look out!

Okay. We're stopped now.

Something's bothering you.
What's on your mind?

- What is it? Tell me.
- Look, tweed, I don't know.

I just feel like I should
be getting some answers.

And I'm not. I mean, being with you

is like being on this
wild-goose chase, you know?

I don't even think I know what I knew.

You know, with you, illusion
and reality, they just blur.

They're just a big mess.

What about lunch?

Tell me why the roughest,
toughest, meanest tag team

in wrestling today is taking on the mask.

What do the grunt brothers have to gain?

You don't have enough time.

For one thing, we don't
like that son of a bitch.

And for another thing, he thinks
he's god's gift to women.

Well, we're gonna make
him think and understand

that the worst thing he ever did

was wrestle against the grunt brothers.

We're gonna take him. - Yeah!

And we're gonna crush his ugly masked face.

Then we're gonna take him. - Yeah!

And we're gonna squeeze his head

until it pops like a pimple!

Yeah! - And then we're gonna see

and see what his brains
are made out of, right?

That's right, brother.

We're gonna start from the head

and then we're gonna get
him limb from limb.

That's right, brother.
We're gonna kill him!

Let's go get him! Let's go get him!

Let's go! - Yeah!

We'll get him! Raaah!

Huh?!

Ms. angel face, why are you
letting the mask take on

two potentially homicidal
men as the grunt brothers?

Isn't that awfully dangerous?

Dangerous? Dangerous?

No.

He will crush your puny
heads like mothballs.

He could handle a thousand bums

like these pathetic, impotent...

Oh, my mask.

The only thing to fear from them

is their breath.

It swirls in the hot air
they are so full of.

What are you talking about, you ugly...

Stay tuned. This looks like

it's gonna be total war out there tonight.

That is, if we can
separate them long enough

to get them in the ring.

J I got lots of money, but
that's really not my style &

j nearly all the pleasures
in my life are gone j

j I can't think of many things
that make me want to smile

j but there's one thing
that really turns me on j

j I wanna hear the crunch j

j I wanna hear the cracks

j I wanna hear the moans and groans j

j I don't know why j

j but I'm only happy breakin' bones j!

One!

Twol

threel

alright! Come on!

J there's just nothing I can say

j I just never seem to get
the message through j

j very little interests
me, I yawn my life away j

j but there's one thing I always wanna do j

j I wanna hear the crunch j

j I wanna hear the cracks

j I wanna hear the moans and groans j

j I don't know why j

j but I'm only happy breakin' bones j!

One!

Twol

threel

hey! Breasts! Come on! Here!

J and dislocating fingers
or a casual body slam j

j helps me pass the time
and brightens up my days j

j I wanna hear the crunch j

j I wanna hear the cracks j - ohhhh!

J I wanna hear the moans and groans j

j I don't know why j

j but I'm only happy breakin' bones j!

J I wanna hear the crunch j

j I wanna hear the cracks

j I wanna hear the moans and groans j

j I wanna hear the crunch j

j I wanna hear the cracks

j I wanna hear the moans and groans j

j I wanna hear the crunch j

Mask! Mask! Mask! Mask!

Mask! Mask! Mask! Mask!

And the winner is...

The mask!

Yay! Yay! - Yeah!

There's a new sensation in wrestling.

For those of you that have had your heads

buried in the sand for the
past couple of weeks,

he is the mask.

He has just single-handedly
defeated one of the best,

roughest, toughest tag teams in the sport.

He's sending these men to the hospital,

and it is this reporter's opinion

that the mask could quickly
lose his reputation

as a good guy and acquire one as a bad guy.

This is Carl sandhurst in
hackensack, New Jersey.

Good night.

Excuse me! Charles!

Hi. May I call you Charles?

Uh, I want to ask you...

Uh, I want to ask you a question.

On!

Excuse me. Mr. ring announcer.

Um, you've been around a long time.

You've seen a lot of wrestling.

In your opinion, is mad dog Joe the mask?

In my opinion, these people
are paranoid schizophrenics.

I wanted to be a
psychiatrist when I grew up.

Instead, I ended up as a... ring announcer.

My parents couldn't afford to
send me to medical school.

It's not their fault. It's not mine either.

Joe was born on February 29th, leap year.

So the poor kid, he only got
to celebrate his birthday

every four years.

I was Joe's only real wrestling coach.

Used to be impossible to control,

but he had real talent.

A coach's dream.

He wasn't a bad boy.

He was just like a wild
mustang or something.

That's Joe there in number 13.

He picked that number out for himself.

But he couldn't stay out of trouble.

Nothing bad. Just mischievous.

I really miss that boy.

Oh, my god.

Look!

The mask! See?!

This proves it.

Joe is the mask!

This is where he got the idea...

From his old high-school days.

It all fits now.

Don't you see?

The mask.

What did you do with the mask?

I don't know.

I threw it away, I guess.

If I had that mask...

If I had that mask...

I could put Joe's fan club back on top!

Dick kopf is a guy...
Oh, Leslie, we go back.

Oh, let me tell you. We go way back.

There are some stories I could
tell you about kopf, but...

But he's a guy that's not...

He's not really very flexible, you know?

I guess you would have to say
that he's set in his ways.

Come on, you son of a

come on. Swing that around.

That's it. Now, come on.

Knee him, you

come on, you son of a

that's it.

Now, in a case like that,
you reach into your trunks

and take out a little bit
of soap from the inside

and rub it in the sons of eyes.

Wait a minute.

Who are you

what the hell are you
doing here, you

if you're from one of those
television expose things,

forget it.

I don't speak to nobody until
I see my attorney first.

No, we're not a television expose.

We're making a documentary about wrestling,

and I understand you used to
manage mad dog Joe de curso.

Oh. Movie trash, huh?

Alright. I'll talk to you.

Yeah. He was a son of a

Joe was one of a kind, though.

But you said earlier he
was a son of a

he was a son of a

but he had heart.

Loved punishment.

Used to thrive on it.

Nothing hurt him. Nothing.

I ain't never seen anyone
or anything like him since.

The heart of a lion.

Why, he could
lightning or thunder.

When I met Joe, he was slicker

than bat on a wet doormat.

I was handling a huge wrestler.

A mean, ugly turd.

Called himself the giant goon.

He had a carnival-type thing.

You know... 500 bucks to the

who could stay in the ring
with him for five minutes.

He used to make a killing.

"Suck them in and them up."

That was my motto.

Joe fought that like a wildcat.

In fact, I'd like to
a bobcat in a phone booth

than fight Joe.

He beat the hell out of that giant goon.

Is that when you signed him up?

Had to. Why, the
cost me 500 bucks.

He ruined my scam.

Had to make up my money some way.

Oh, but we had some good times, too.

Teamed him up with captain carnage.

Even got him a championship match.

The terrible two

may be the south city's favorite sons,

but they've bitten off a bit
more than they can chew

here tonight in the ocean city arena.

Joe throws chicken ear into the turnbuckle.

His partner, captain carnage, joins him,

and they're double-teaming
poor Ivan leftheart,

slamming him... bam... twice.

Again.

Carnage throws him to the mat.

And then a flying body
press, and it's over.

One, two... what's this?

Captain carnage wants to give
the crowd some more fun.

He tosses leftheart against
the rope, over his shoulder.

Wait. Carnage is showboating.

This time, he'll pay.

Chicken ear sends a
dropkick in his direction.

One more time for good measure.

Carnage is through. Carnage is through!

And the champs have prevailed.

Go to war, miss Agnes!

Mad dog is furious!

Mad dog doesn't care!

He's really lost it.

He's on a rampage, and the
fans have had enough.

The ring announcer enters.

Mad dog bushwhacks him, too.

Now he's turning on his partner!

He's telling his partner just how he feels

about that showboating.

Everyone's scattering.

And I, for one, believe
they've got the right idea.

There goes mad dog,

ripping a fan's shirt right off his back!

God help anyone in his way!

Not little mitzi!

Not too many left here to see him

and his psychopathic behavior.

But isn't that what wrestling's all about?

That

son of a

things ain't never been the same since.

Do you think Joe is the mask?

Who the knows?

I'm telling you, you're
wasting your time here.

What you should be doing is
talking to that

he used to live with.

That Lola.

She's sure to know.

But I'm warning you... you'll
never get her to talk.

Bullshit! The mask is not Joel

what are you... blind?!

I'm sick and tired of all this crap

about Joe being a monk in Japan somewhere,

being dead, jumping off a bridge.

I've had it up to here!

I want some sanity in my life!

I'm gonna tell you about Joe

'cause I want you off my backs, alright?

He disappeared one day.

I came back from working
out, and he was gone.

That was six years ago.

I haven't heard from him since!

Okay? You want to see some stuff of his?

These are some of Joe's trophies.

This is the ledger I kept on him.

This is a fight book.

It has eats, carbohydrates,

fight dates, cash outlays.

Would you like it, Dr. tweed?

Go ahead. Take it.

Joe was a tough wrestler. He was good.

He was very tough on himself.
He just had to win.

That was his big problem, as you
know... he just had to win.

Come on. There's more junk back here.

These are Joe's wrestling pictures.

Why don't you take them? Geez!

What am I doing with all this junk?

Take them. Just get them out of my life.

There's more junk in here.

Look at this. Look at
this crap in my closet.

You know how they say,
"clothes make the man?"

Gee, I don't have the man.
I've got all of his clothes.

Please, get them out of my closet.

Can't believe I still have them.

Here, don't forget the shirt.

Honey, come here, baby. It's alright.

Honey. This is my good friend, honey.

She hasn't left me. It's alright, baby.

You know, she's just a little bit scared.

I mean, you think I had a bad temper,

you should see mad dog.

When he got mad, he was like a wild dog.

I mean, he was crazy.
And he did not jump off

some bridge, you know, like people say.

He would not have done that.

I know the guy just a little bit.

He's probably shacked up with some bimbo,

and he better not bring her in here!

If you're out there, mad dog,

I'm gonna kill you when I get out there!

You are causing me so much shit!

Look at this.

I mean, Joe was tough, you know.

He was bad, but he loved jokes.

He loved swerves. That's wrestling talk.

Professional whoopee cushion
can you believe it?

Only the best for mad dog.

A bone, which is what I've got now.

You know what, though?

Mad dog saved a guy's life once.

These fans were beating on this guy so bad

after a fight with Joe that Joe dragged him

into the dressing room,

pretended to beat on him so
the fans wouldn't kill him

and saved his life.

I mean, I don't know why I'm
hanging on to all this junk!

It's just crap, you know!
Get it out of my life!

Actually, I'm glad you came by!

How about some film? I bet
you'd love some film!

We got TV interviews, you know,

all this stuff about fights. Here, take it.

I can't believe I'm hanging
on to all this junk.

I don't know why. You know, he's gone!

How about a heart?

Okay, just get out. Alright?

You got what you wanted.

Thanks, Lola!

Oh, this is great.

Let's move before she changes her mind.

I feel like the guy that won the lottery.

The one with the wife. Oh-oh-oh!

Haul it off somewhere!

Oh! Wow!

I don't care! Just get rid of it!

Get out of here!

Look at all this film.

Uh-huh.

Now we're really gonna find something out.

Tweed, she said Joe is not the mask.

Yeah, but what'd you expect for her to say?

The woman just got dumped on.

Oh, man.

I'll tell you, that Joe,
he's something else.

Found a spitfire like Lola,

and then he gets a real classy broad

like that French broad, angel face.

Do you guys have a projector?

We can look at this stuff right away.

Nah. I know where we
can rent one, though.

Oh, yeah? What do they go for?

I don't know. It depends on who you know.

Yeah? - I got some connections.

Hello, and welcome to our home.

I am mad dog Joe de curso's
manager, sweet Lola.

Come with me, please.

This is mad dog's trophy room.

These are some of Joe's wrestling photos.

And this is where we relax,

watch TV, or whatever.

And this is our clothes closet.

As you can see, we live
modestly, but comfortably.

And these are some pictures.

Some paintings that I've done.

I love oriental art.

Do you feel Joe is ready
for the title shot?

Yes, I do feel that Joe is
ready for the title shot.

We've worked hard.

In fact, we are so ready,

we're gonna knock the world on its ear!

This is worthless. I can't use any of this.

Worthless? We have a gold mine here.

The stars at play.

I don't need at play.

I need something. A morgue report.

Hey, hey. Time-out, huh?

These people are bigger
than life, yet human.

Human! I don't want human, tweed!

I want reality. - This is reality!

I want a tidy little piece of film

that just sums it all up!
Alright, alright.

Hey, hey, calm down, huh?

Take a deep breath.

Two or three minutes, we'll talk.

You want coffee?

I'm standing here with the mask;

his scintillating manager,
angel face; And honey bun;

who are not very popular
in the state of Georgia

at this moment only because
the mask is challenging

the best wrestler in the
state of Georgia...

Their very own champion, El toro.

Unpopular? Nol!

Not as unpopular as we are going to be

after the mask turns El toro

into a teeny-weeny, poor burger.

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

El toro might be a lot
smaller than the mask,

but he isn't state champion for nothing.

That means nothing to us.

The mask will turn this
little cha-cha matador

into bull merde.

Bull merde?

Bull shit!

So, see you in the ring, El toro!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the wrestling champion
of the state of Georgia,

El toro. - That girl's got problems.

She ought to leave that French perfume

back where it belongs.

You know, ladies and gentlemen,

you're the one that put
this belt around me.

You are the one that gave me the chance

to prove myself in such a small body.

Now I'm gonna meet you, mask.

You're nothing but a big, tall brute!

When you attack, you attack like a bull.

You don't attack with your mind.

Well, all I have to offer

is this small body with a lot of brain,

a lot of swiftness, and a lot of speed.

And every time you see red,
it's gonna be me, man,

set on fire!

So you just come here, mask,

and bring that sidekick of yours,

and I'll teach her some manners!

El toro, ladies and gentlemen.

Stay tuned. Looks like it's
gonna be a good show tonight.

Who are you here to see?

Oh, I'm here to see El toro.

I kind of like rooting for the little guy.

He gets wild and crazy, and
that's what I'm here for.

El toro, baby. El toro.

And here he is,

a true son of the south,

205 pounds of pure fury,

from macon, Georgia...

El toro!

Toro!

Toro!

El toro!

Ole!

Ole! - El toro!

Ole!

Mi amor.

Ole!

Ole!

El toro
receives an immediate blow

from his massive opponent.

But he slips away. El
toro has slipped away.

And slams the mask onto the mat.

El toro breaks into his
dance of the toreador,

and the mask is baffled.

The mask's manager, froufrou,

or whatever her name is,
is begging her fighter

to get back in the ring and
stop El toro's dancing.

Something awful out there.

J wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger than life &

j wrestling tonight j - ole!

Come on, El toro! Get the mask!

J wrestling tonight j

olel

gol ole!

Angel face, y'all suck!

So?!

El toro catches the mask

in an upside-down head scissors

and sends the confused goliath
sprawling over the ropes

and out of the squared circle. - Ole!

El toro follows him down

and is now doing the
toreador in the aisles!

Toro! Toro!

The mask is a stunned wrestler right now.

He doesn't know what hit him.

El toro slams him down again
and stomps on his nose.

And that's the real
dance of the toreador.

He's gonna...

He's gonna jump!

But the mask picks him up
and hurls poor El toro

right onto the mat!

Here comes about 280 pounds of steel!

El toro just rolls out of the way.

El toro fools the mask

with a beautifully executed
torpedo head butt!

Bravo!

And the mask

wants no part of this fight.

He runs for cover.

He knows when he's beat.

And El toro makes sure the
whole world knows it.

The ref is counting at the mask.

One, two...

But El toro isn't finished.

The mask sure isn't what
he's cracked up to be,

is he, Jerry?

That man ought to be flitting
around in a tutu somewhere.

Whoa! Hey!

Ladies and gentlemen,

can you believe the acrobatics,

the athleticism of El toro?

That man just took off
and sailed over my head

and plowed like a comet from the skies

right into what's left of the mask.

He picks up the dazed mask,
charges off the rope,

and... my goodness...
Collides with a brick wall!

I declare!

Wait a minute. The mask seems okay.

He's revving up.

He drops El toro with a
crippling side suplex.

And a fight-stopping throat kick!

He's looking for meat now.

And he wants it raw.

The little bull is being pounded

from beefcake into beefsteak.

That is not funny, Jerry.

That's just not funny.

You're right.

It's more like ground round.

And the fans are begging their
hero to get off the ground.

Whoal

ole!

He surprises everyone,
especially the mask.

El toro is back.

He's back with a vengeance. A nose twist.

Stomach stomp.

And here's the dance!

A kick to the mask's knee. Another one.

He's flailing in the ropes
like a fish in a net.

But the mask has untangled himself.

And El toro, drunk with
the scent of a victory,

finds himself in a tight squeeze.

Well, balls of fire!

He's writhing in agony!

The mask grabs those steps.

He's hauling it onto the
mat for some reason.

That's illegal! Jerry, where's the referee?

That's grounds for disqualification.

The brave El toro, still dazed,

is buffeted mercilessly by the mask.

Then he body-slams him into the stairs.

El toro is hurting, ladies and gentlemen.

El toro!

This is terrible. This is just awful.

This is not good wrestling,
ladies and gentlemen.

I don't know what this is,

but there is malice behind that mask.

It's a pitiful display
of pain over here today.

He's hurt.

Get some medical attention
in there to El toro!

This place has turned into a
Parthenon of pandemonium,

and I suggest, if you
have any small children,

you get them away from your set right away.

Never in my six months
of watching wrestling

have I seen anything as bloody
and gory and violent as this.

The mask has no mercy! - This is awful.

I can't look anymore. I
cannot look at this.

Come on!

Oh, here we go. Oh. Uh...

We're here in anaheim,
California, where Wally George,

ultra-conservative talk-show host,

has invited the mask to be
a guest on his hot seat.

- The stupid jerk, the mask.
- Yeah, he's sick.

- He stinks, doesn't he?
- He's totally sick.

He tried to tell us that he's
gonna be the next champion.

Baloney, right? Isn't that right?

Hey, listen to me! Are
we gonna get this mask

and tear him apart?

Hey, tell me this. Is the mask a phony?

Yeah! - Okay, let's go get him.

And now here is, Wally George!

Wally! Wally!

Wally! Wally!

Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!

For you liberal lunatics out there,

this is the program that
tells it the way it is.

I want you to take a look at
a little phony film footage

so you can see at home, even when they try,

they can't do anything
right in the Soviet union.

Another ludicrous commie trick.

Those stupid Russians don't
know how to do anything right.

Isn't that right? - Commie!

Commie! Commie! Commie! - Trying to...

Trying to discredit a tragic accident

that really happened in this great country

just a few years ago.

And I'll tell you, this film
was smuggled into this country

from the Soviet union by those
wonderful people in the CIA!

Next up on the hot seat, he
calls himself a disc jockey.

I call him a disc jerky.
How about you, huh?

Wait a minute, now.

Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!

I've heard you on your stupid program.

You're a lousy role model for the kids

who are listening across America.

You are promoting satanic
worship, drugs, and violence.

Am I right? - Yeah!

Listen, dude...

Don't call me "dude"!

Alright. Listen, you might...

You prancing little pervert!

Wait a minute.

How you doing, guys? Calm down.

Alright, man. - And, by the way,

why didn't you put your pants on

before you came down here, huh?

Just don't get hostile now, okay?

Just calm down a little bit, alright?

This is, to distorted minds,
the name of the song...

The crosshair band.

There's a hidden message in this.

Speaking of distorted minds,

there he is, folks.

You guys be quiet now. I'm gonna turn it up

so you can hear this loud and clear, okay?

You're all gonna be happily...

Alright, now listen to this here.

I'll see if I can find it here.

Listen to this now.

Joe is mask. - "Joe is mask."

"Joe is mask." Can you hear that?

Joe is mask, and you are nuts!
What do you think?

Never mind. Never mind.

Wait a minute! Be careful with my record!

No, no! You can't do this!

Wait a minute! Don't break my record!

Don't break my record!

Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Hey, I think now is the time
we should go to the audience

and bring somebody up for some questions

and maybe a few comments.

And what's your name, sir?

Dr. tweed.

What kind of a doctor are you, pal?

Sociology.

I took my phd at the
university of California.

You look like you need a doctor.

You know what I mean? Go ahead.

Uh, I would like to, on behalf

of the "mad dog Joe is mask" fan club,

of which I am the founder
and the president...

To make you an honorary member,
if you would so be, uh...

Get back... aw, what, are you
flashing here or something?

Get back to the podium. - Yes, sir.

Okay, now, what's your question? Go ahead.

Well, I just wanted to impress
upon you this one thing, sir.

And this is with all due respect,

because I appreciate you...

And I appreciate the men
you have on your walls,

and I appreciate the country.

Say what you want to say!

Mad dog Joe is the mask.

- You are an idiot!
- I have been interview...

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Here's what I think

of your official...

Put him back in his seat!

- Alright. Hold up. Hold up.
- Put him in his seat.

Just sit down and shut up!

Now, here's what this program is all about.

Now you're gonna meet this idiot himself.

The man we've been talking about.

He calls himself the mask,

and he's masquerading as
mad dog Joe de curso,

and he's bringing along with
him his ding-dong manager.

Let's bring them out right now!
Here they are!

Alright. Sit down.

Okay. Now, you are the manager of this guy.

Let me ask you this... is he Joe de curso?

Hey, numskull. Yes? - You know, Wally.

- What's that?
- When you become a big star,

a lot of jealous people say many things.

But don't trust them. It's not true.

Don't you? - Well, uh...

Since you put it that way...

No, now come on! Don't
try to do that to me!

Now, what I'm asking is
I want to know...

And why don't you say something, idiot?

Are you Joe de curso, or aren't you?

Speak to me. Listen, I'm...

I'm asking you a question, and
I want an answer from you.

Are you Joe de curso?

And don't give me any of your bull!

I want an answer!

Are you Joe de curso?

You look like a pantywaist to me.

I want to know -—- get your hand...

Get him away from me! You idiot!

Hey, hey!

Aah!

Thanks for doing this interview.

I appreciate your change in
attitude towards the media.

You're welcome.

We do exactly as we want
when it comes to the media.

The mask is ready to show the world

that he's not flash in the pan.

Tonight, he will be wrestling

the fourth wonder of the
world, the great pyramid.

He's a terrific fighting machine

with the strength of four bemoths.

What? - Bemoths.

Behemoths. - Yes, bemoths.

You talked, didn't you?

Is this mad dog Joe de curso?

Who told you to ask me that question?

Nobody. I make up my own questions.

Don't never ask me that
question again. Never!

Owl!

From the land of the pharaohs,

the great pyramid!

Come on, you big lug. Come on, come on.

Come on. Come on. - You're nothing.

Come on. You're nothing. Come on.
Cross this line.

Go, mask!

Alright, you guys. Come on.
Let's get back.

Come on. Come on.

Hey, no wrestling by committee.

Hey! Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute!

You alright? Can I help you?

Okay, I'll get him this time. I got him.

Hey, hey! Hey, hey!

I think it's going rather well, don't you?

Come on, guys. Come on, let's go.

Whew! Okay. Come on. We got him this time.

Come on, guys. Oh, oh!

The knee. Get him in the knee.

Pick him up. Pick him up.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. Faster,
faster, faster, faster.

You're through. - What?

What do you mean?

Alright! Yeah!

Come here! Son of a bitch!

Come here! Please don't leave!

Come here!

He's just a little upset, that's all.

If I was a betting man, and
I didn't work for free,

I'd bet a month's salary that
under that clumsy headgear,

the mask's face is beet
red with embarrassment.

It's been a week of bad p.R. For the mask,

who rightly blames his
ex-manager, angel face,

who resembles less a manager

than perhaps a small aquarium fish

with perhaps a small
amount of brain damage.

First, there was the Georgia title match.

Oh, the mask beat El toro all right,

but beating a hometown boy
in the boy's hometown

can even make the faceless mask lose face.

From that frying pan, angel face really put

the mask into the fire. The mask got burnt.

Angel face felt the heat.

And the match against the human
pyramid just never ignited.

So now the mask has a new manager,

the "golden Greek" John tolos,
and it remains to be seen

how he will do in the
upcoming battle royale.

I can't stand the suspense. Can you?

Frankly, I only pay attention
to professional wrestling

because I can't afford cable television.

If I could afford cable, the
money might be better spent

hiring a hit man or deadly poisons to have

not only wrestlers, but all
athletes put to sleep.

I hate sports, and now stay tuned

for the "exotic Adrian's street show."

I got to go.

Ji'min love j

j I'm so in love, doo-doo-doo-doo j

ji'min love j

j I'm so in love, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo j

j ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh j

j doo-doo-doo-doo-doo j

j ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh j

j doo-doo-doo-doo-doo j

j 1 don't need to search j

j for someone to adore j

mwah! Good evening, viewers.

Welcome, once again, to
"exotic Adrian's street."

And, tonight, my guests are the mask,

who is now being handled
by his new manager,

Mr. John tolos, the golden Greek.

So, this is "exotic Adrian's street."

Tell me, Mr. tolos, who is this person?

This person is the mask.

Everybody thought that all
the stars were in the sky,

but I have news for you
and everybody else...

That this is the star.

No one has even come this
close in beating him,

in defeating him!

Anyone that ever steps
in the ring with my boy

is like stepping in the ring
in the middle of a hurricane,

stepping in the middle of an earthquake,

stepping in the middle of a tornado.

He flattens everyone.

Anyone in his way, he flattens.

No one has ever defeated him.

No one!

What about the human pyramid?

The human pyramid? - Mm-hmm.

Let me tell you something.

He was managed by that French poodle.

All she was good for is
to rip her brassiere off

and rip her panties off and
light a match, and boom,

and all of a sudden,

she thought she was a wrestling manager!

She was absolutely nothing!

So they deported her back to France.

Her and her French poodle!

You know... you understand a man talking?

Of course I understand viciousness.

There's nobody that understands viciousness

more than me, dear.

I mean, I can be a bitch.

I could kill a man eventually.

I mean, what do you think
about a mask, miss Linda?

I think he's hiding behind that

'cause he's a bit of a sissy, don't you?

- I think it...
- Looks that way, doesn't it?

It does, doesn't it? Look
at those pale blue eyes.

Look at those long eyelashes
and that golden mustache.

I bet you're really cute underneath.

You're rather cute yourself, dear.

Mwah.

So, what about this tournament?

When that battle royale appears very soon,

this man shall be the winner

and the new champion of the world!

Don't forget I'm going to be
in that battle royale, too.

Let me tell you something...

Don't lose your head over it, street.

Don't lose your head over it.

We just happen to have

a little surprise for you right now.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I
introduce another guest...

Captain carnage?

Welcome to my show, Mr. carnage.

Oh, thank you. It's a pleasure to be on.

I'm sure it is.

Let me ask you one question.

This is the question all
the viewers want to know.

Is this man mad dog Joe de curso?

No, Adrian. - Mm!

This is not mad dog Joe!

Joe de curso was a credit to wrestling.

You, you're scum!

Ooh!

Oh, hey, now, now, now, now...

Well, viewers, that ends

another "exotic Adrian's street."

Goodbye.

What do you think the connection is

between rock 'n' roll and wrestling?

I don't think there is any connection

between rock 'n' roll and wrestling.

I think wrestling sucks.

What don't you like about it?

Well, it's just all these
beefcakes sitting on each other.

I really don't get the point.

I mean, what came first anyway...

Rock 'n' roll or wrestling?

Think about it.

Wrestling. § oh, man j

j wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger than
life, life, life, life j

j wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' roll and wrestling tonight j

rock 'n' roll!

J wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger
than life, life, life j

j and it's wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' roll and wrestling tonight j

as assistant to the assistant

to the assistant to the mayor himself,

it is my duty to read the following to you

with the most personal
and intimate regards.

"I had wanted to present
your name or names here

with the key to the city,

but instead, I would like you to receive

these lovely snowflake paperweights

as a token of our city's hospitality."

"Good luck. Insert name of event here.

Sincerely, your mayor."

What is it you like about wrestling?

Violence.

What's the wildest thing
you ever saw in the ring?

Well, I remember that time

mad dog had a decapitation going for him.

Okay.

Mad dog's just a figment
of your imagination.

Is mad dog the mask?

They got very similar styles,

but until we see it without
the mask, who knows?

Each one has got his own technique.

The other man, he counters
with his own technique,

and it takes a good man to win.

So, Dr. tweed,

you must be very excited
about this evening.

Well, I'm flying high, you
know, au natural, of course.

You look nice. You look nice in your tux.

Thank you. Do you think the
mask is gonna win tonight?

Oh, yeah. He's gonna be top dog.

You know what I mean?

Mad dog is the mask.

Do you think there's going
to be a decapitation?

No.

Well...

You know, history could
repeat itself tonight.

I feel in the mood for
decapitating somebody,

and it could have...

That head, when it rolls, could
just be covered in a mask.

Why the red and black makeup?

I want to see blood tonight, blood, blood!

I've seen wrists broken.

I've seen lacerations,
compressed dicks... disks,

and even a broken neck.

It's not a pretty sight.

So what do you think of
professional wrestling?

For the spectator.

What do you like best about it?

I like the pain, the violence.

The blood, the hitting, kicking, screaming.

I love those glistening
bodies full of sweat

smashing together and they're flexing

and their muscles just bulging

with their veins sticking
out, I just love it.

Love those bodies, give them to me.

Any special glistening part?

Oh, uh.

Talk to me about wrestling.

Talk about Mr. tweed,
talk about Mr. hulk.

I love them all, let me tell you something.

Mad dog and I were at the Diana
Ross concert in central park

we had broke up a lot of
crowd control things.

Mad dog isn't dead then?

Mad dog is alive and well.

Let me tell you something,
don't ever count him out.

You ever count him out, you're finished.

I'll come after you myself.

Look at him, the director, Charles.

May I call you Charles?

I would just like to get
some of your thoughts

and opinions about tonight's
upcoming battle royale

and specifically, the mask.

The mask is irrelevant.

What's important is mask
madness and the news.

And wrestling, you understand that?

Yeah.

Of course you don't.

What is this you're making here?

This an educational video?

You get a Grant for this?

No, we're making a
documentary about wrestling.

You know the three most boring words

in the english language?

Parade, museums, and documentary.

And there's only one thing
I hate more than a parade.

That's you.

Take my ticket, I'm going to the press box.

Tell me more about you.

Intimidated by the prospect of going

into the ring with the mask?

I like when the big fat
man hits the ground.

That's what I like.

And now there's gonna
be a lot of big fat men

hitting the ground.

Let's see you, or the
mask, or anybody else

try and stand between me and the belt.

Captain cranage is gonna
be the new champion

because I'm hungry.

The mask and the golden Greek, say it.

The mask and the golden Greek.

Are the greatest. - Are the greatest.

Now say it all at once.

The mask and the golden
Greek are the greatest.

And don't you ever forget it.

And don't you ever forget it.

Do you like girl wrestlers?

Female wrestlers, man, when
they take off their clothes.

Oh, I love it.

And then they wrestle me.

Women wrestlers, I love them.

I love it, I love it, I love the women.

J I went to a dance Saturday night j&

j now I've been around
and seen a few sights j

j but standing right in front of me j

j was the biggest darn girl
I'm ever likely to see j

j she was a mighty big girl for her age j

j a mighty big girl for her age

j six foot three and definitely j

j a mighty big girl for her age

j a mighty big girl for her age

j I asked her to dance she shook her fist j

j grabbed my hand and sprained my wrist &

j dragged me on to the disco floor j

j suddenly I didn't want to dance anymore j

j she was a mighty big girl for her age j

j a mighty big girl for her age

j six foot three and definitely j

j a mighty big girl for her age

j a mighty big girl for her age

j I grabbed her arm but lost my grip j

j next thing I knew was an Irish whip j

j with a foot on my throat
I could see at a glance j

j that it wasn't any dancing school j

j that had taught her to dance j

j she was a mighty big girl for her age j

j a mighty big girl for her age

j six foot three and definitely j

j a mighty big girl for her age

j a mighty big girl for her age

I wouldn't go out with her again.

Even if she was as pretty as me.

J a mighty big girl for her age

j a mighty big girl for her age

your attention, please!
Your attention, please!

Tonight, here in the
world-famous olympic auditorium

in Los Angeles, California,
will be a battle royal

for the undisputed wrestling
championship of the world!

Presenting Sammy white,
the people's choice!

Rip Miller!

Ladies and gents, here come
the wrestlers into the ring,

all bloody 12 of them.

Good evening, sports fans.

The excitement is really melting here

for this battle royale.

Cowboy Steve, Woody farmer.

Mike "the Alaskan" York!

Black hawke!

American starship eagle!

The exotic Adrian street
and his valet, miss Linda!

I read an interesting
statistic in the paper today.

It said that more babies were born

in the city of Los Angeles this past week

than in any other week
in the city's history,

and 22 of those babies were
either named mad dog or mask.

Commie warhead!

Captain carnage and his
manager, sweet Lola.

And finally, the mask

and his manager, John
tolos, the golden Greek!

Alright, gentlemen, come in here, please.

The rules for the match are as follows.

To be disqualified, a man must
be thrown over the top rope,

out of the ring, or be pinned.

The last man that's standing in the ring

will be the champion.

This is not a timed bout.

The bout will begin when the bell rings.

Good luck, gentlemen.

Good luck to each and every one of you.

Good luck and...

Adrian street finds himself once again

in an unnatural position.

There's a carnival-like
atmosphere here tonight.

You can feel the air of
expectancy in the crowd.

They didn't just come to see

an old-fashioned brand of wrestling.

They've come to see the
blood- and-guts showdown

that will crown the new prince
of the wrestling universe!

Aah!

This is true savagery.

It is armageddon out there,

and this is the survival of the fittest.

The fans are hysterical.

The whole building is rocking!

These men are modern-day gladiators

as they absorb blows,
slams, cuts, and kicks.

But there's no sign of
exhaustion in these men.

Each has fought long and hard

for the opportunity to be here tonight,

each trying to prove himself worthy

of the title that's been
in limbo for so long.

I have to call this the
battle of the bulge.

There are a lot of
unresolved oedipal complexes

happening out there right now.

Lots of old scores to settle here tonight,

and I don't mean in a gentlemanly fashion.

We're not talking pistols
and 20 paces today.

This is americal

the mask is landing blows left and right.

He's got the exotic Adrian
street in a headlock.

He gouges at his eyes.

Mike "the Alaskan" York
and his Russian neighbor

are working on captain carnage,

while rip Miller gives an
airplane spin to cowboy Steve.

And down he goes.

Miller body-presses him.

Hey, what's going on here?

I feel like I'm in a meat-packing plant.

Three tons of flesh

are now heaped on top of poor cowboy Steve.

Out!

He's put on the stretcher,

but the mask mercilessly kicks him

to the auditorium floor.

The blows are coming fast and furious.

Woody farmer lifts Sammy
white over his head

and throws the people's
choice onto the concrete.

Mask slugs rip Miller

and is now going after the commie warhead

banging his fist into the commie's eye!

Now, now! Attack!

Mask stomps
brutally on rip Miller's back.

Miller is down and in obvious pain

as the mask tramples him again and again.

And Miller's out of the ring,

his hopes for victory gone forever.

Oh, sweet mother. Can you believe it?

What's this?

Adrian street escapes from
American starship eagle's pin

with the help of his new friend the mask.

The eagle has reversed the roles.

He's pounding the mask into the corner,

and tolos, tolos is pulling
on the eagle's ankles!

And what's this?

The eagle is so irate, he's
going after the golden Greek.

The fans are hysterical.

The whole building is rocking!

The mask looks for his next victim

and, boom, catches the eagle
and kicks him over the ropes.

Ladies and gentlemen, the eagle has landed!

And now John tolos is picking
the security chain up.

That's illegal, John.

Neither of those men got enough

parental attention as babies.

J you're the main event j

j if you get too close j

j you'll be alive, but you
might not want to be j

captain carnage looks
like a bleeding walnut!

J if you can't fight, you
better learn how to dance

j do you want to dance j

j do you want to body-slam j

j do you want to dance j

j you're gonna know when
he knocks you down j

J choke hold that never ends j

j disaster in the ring

j he's a mad, mad dog j

j just can't mess with him &

j you'll be history when he's through j

j if you can't fight, you
better learn how to dance

j do you want to dance j

j do you want to body-slam j

j do you want to dance j

j you're gonna know when he knocks you j

j down j

j you're gonna take a fall j

Adrian has the commie by the hair.

And ka-pow!

Adrian street has rammed
the commie warhead's head

into the post, thus making the
world safe for democracy.

J do you want to body-slam j

j do you want to dance j

slam him! Slam him again!

J you're gonna know when
he knocks you down j

street crashes
into the turnbuckle.

He's been double-crossed,
and he demands an apology.

J do you want to dance j

j you're gonna know when
he knocks you down j

j do you want to dance j

j do you want to body-slam j

j do you want to dance j

j you're gonna know when
he knocks you down j

j do you want to dance j

the mayhem outside has clearly
diverted everyone's attention

from the main attraction

as the mask loops the ropes
around captain carnage's neck.

He's got him in the hangman.

It's mad dog!

It's mad dog!

Joe, Joel!

J it's alright &

j the hero's on your side j

j it's alright, it's alright j

j the hero's on your side j

j whoa, oh, oh j

Leslie, Leslie.

Hey, are you a sight for sore eyes.

How you doing, huh? - Pretty good.

I bet you stopped by to buy

a pair of sheepskin seat
covers for your ride.

No, I got a couple. I just
haven't put them in the car.

Sell it to you wholesale. - It's okay.

I came by to talk about my movie.

Oh, yeah, well, tell me.
How'd it turn out, huh?

Well, it doesn't really have
the big resolution at the end,

you know, the big heart-stopping,

throat-grabbing kind of ending that I want.

Joe came back. Redemption!
That's the ending.

No, he was the 13th man in the ring.

He got disqualified.

So?

So he retired from wrestling.

You know he and Lola took off?

First, we didn't know where he was.

Now we don't know where he is.

And we still don't know who the mask was.

He was a wrestler.

He's wrestling right now
as the human icebox.

Can you beat that? - I didn't know that.

Oh, how could these guys...
How can they do this to me?

You know, I have all of my mom's
money sunk into this movie,

and I don't have the big
ending that I need.

I have got 90,000 feet of film
in a storage space somewhere,

and I need that... boom, boom
big ending, you know,

and that's why I'm here
to talk to you, tweed.

Maybe you can get back in a cab,

and we can put the bones
back on the hubcaps

and on the steering wheel,

and we can drive around
now just interviewing.

You got to wrap things up for me.

What do you say, tweed?

What about dinner?

Yeah.

You know, there's a nice
little place down here

called mom's, got the best ribs in town.

You know, got pork, got beef,

got a good chili going with it.

You know what I mean? They got some...

They got some chicken there
that's out of sight.

They also have some sweet potato pie there

that'll knock you out,

some lemon cake, oh, my god.

But you look like you
put on a couple pounds.

Things haven't been all
that bad, have they?

Well, I just eat at wrong times.

I eat enough but just
not at the right times.

J captain carnage j

j Dr. tweed j

j the mask, miss Linda, and Adrian street j

j the human bomb shelter &

j Jake "the snake" j

j ask mad dog de curso
if it's real or fake j

j "golden Greek" tolos j

j the giant goon j

j dick kopf, El toro j

j the grunt brothers, too j

j the wild samoans got
something crazy going j

j they're gonna be going
after you, you, you j

j wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger than life &

j wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' roll and wrestling tonight j

j flying dropkick, suplex, mare j

j stomping on the throat
and pulling on the hair j

j figure-four scissors, backbreaker, knee j

j it's down for the count,
and it's one, two, three j

j interview time between each match j

j stay tuned, can't tell
who you might catch

j why, look what dropped
in just to say howdy j

j it's the tricky dicky Murdoch,
and he's gonna get rowdy j

hey, all you kids.

You think you're so beautiful.

Not exercising every day.

Well, look at these shoulders.

Look at these pecs.

Look at this neck.

Look at this head.

J gorgeous George j

j Freddie blassie, all so classy j

j set the stage for the j

j current rage j

j wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger than
life, life, life, life j

j wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' roll and wrestling tonight j

rock 'n" roll!

J wrestling tonight j

j everything is bigger than life &

j and it's wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' roll and wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' roll and wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' rolling and wrestling tonight j

j rock 'n' roll and wrestling j