Original subtitles

♪[opening title music]♪

- [door knocking]

♪[music]♪

- [door knocking]

- [handgun loading]

- [door knocking]

- [door opening]

- [LUCKY] What? - We're leaving.

- We...are..leaving. - Agh!

- [BLACK] [Grunt] - [LUCKY] What d'fuck?!

- And your toy...is staying at home today.

- [LUCKY] Goddamnit! I can walk, you idiot!

- [door knocking]

- Oh, Master Sapphire, you've returned to me! - My air! You're crushing my air!

- Just as you take my breath from me. Every time our eyes meet, Master Sapphire.

- Celestial Enternity, lay your blessings upon us as we...

- display our divine consummation.

- Get off me! G...David! David!

- David! Dav...Help me! Help...

- Who the hell are you?! - Thank you!

- I am Master Sapphire's fifth, and most devoted wife.

- [DAVID] Dude, you're married?

- No, not...legally, no.

- Who needs such worldly ties like their Earthly laws depicting what we are?

- All that matters is our bond in the Celestial Eternity.

- Now, come. Let's show them the depth of our bond.

- Lets make love. - No. G...Get off. Get off!

- The outside world has blinded you. Here...take a truth seed.

- Dude, how come you're always bitching you don't have...

- a girlfriend when you've got, like, five wives?

- When did you join a cult?

- Is everyone here familiar with peyote?

♪[music]♪ [JACK V.O.] I did some experimenting in college.

- [explosion] - Ow!

- [JACK V.O] At one point, I was out for...say...three weeks.

- And when I came to...

- There I was.

- [LIZZIE V.O.) That's how we knew he was the one true messiah.

- He appeared to us at the full moon. The same way he was brought into this world.

- It was just at the prophecy foretold.

- [JACK] Ugh?

- We protected you from the profane malice of the outside world.

- Y...you kidnapped me! You stole my money, my clothes, my I.D...

- Three molars! And you tased me whenever I tried to leave.

- [JACK V.O.] It took me three months to escape.

- [LIZZIE V.O.] He didn't escape. You were taken....

- by the vicious outsiders. - [loud sirens]

- Their lies suede your mind. Here...take a truth seed. See again.

[JACK] Are you on drugs?!

[DAVID] Want drugs? [JACK] David!

- Hello, sir. Officer Evans reporting in on the case, sir.

- Yes, I realise you didn't assign me to the case directly.

- ...and that you are on holiday.

- ...and that it's your birthday. Happy Birthday, sir!

- B...But, sir...sir...

- I know it might be a bit too much excitement...

- But I do believe I am on the brink of cracking one of the biggest...

drug rings of modern times.

- Warrant? Surely in...these turbulent times such formalities are not...

- Hello?

- Quite right, sir. No time for farewell pleasantries when crime is afoot!

- Off to alert the authorities post-haste....what a man!

♪[marching drum music]♪

- Don't worry, Master Sapphire, I brought the compliance flower.

- No, no, no. Shit. No.

- These infidels have poisoned your mind!...You have a demon.

- Don't worry... - No...No...

- I will be back to cleanse this place! - No...Lizzie, please...

- With an Exorcist!...and some Serenity Cannons! - Don't...No, no!...No!

- [sighing]

- ♪[music]♪ -[heavy breathing] [wall punch]

- OK. I'll get the strange man off you...Yeah....Yeah...Oh, yeah.

- Mine! - What do you need it for?

- Mine!! - I know I guy who buys this kinda thing.

- Mine!!! - Fuckin' 'ell.

- ♪[dramatic music]♪ [gunshots] [screaming]

- [gasps] - [gunshot]

- [crickets]

- Jack, what are you doing here?

- Went to bed, only to find a nice, big pile of David lying there.

- Is that normal? - No.

- We've been getting a lot more David even since you arrived, actually.

- Never used to be this bad. Now it's an avalanche.

- Every time I come home, there's David strewn across the ground.

- David draped over the toilet. David in my ears and in my eyes...

- and in my nose...I mean that last one literally.

- [sigh] C'mon...David's sweet. I mean, in a aspartame kinda way.

- Try living with him. It's terrifying, like, truly terrifying...

- like 'back-alley surgery' terrifying.

- You have no idea.

- David's not terrifying. David's...nice. - Nice?...David's 'friendly'.

- He also once bartered one of my kidneys for a lifetime supply of cheese...

- That he didn't eat.

- Do you have any idea what it's like to come from, from surgery,...

- and find six hundred kilograms of cheddar on your bed?

- I just think you should appreciate the people you have around you.

- ♪[music]♪

- [frying pan sizzling]

- Look who it is. Look who it is!

You. Come here, you. Oh, you...

- You saved my life, you know that?

- Aww, yes you did!

- You have a lovely home. - Well, thank you very much.

- Why don't you go over here? Let's get a better look at you.

- Fuck. Last night was fucking crazy. Last night got fucking out of hand.

- So, you'll excuse me if I don't remember... everything that fucking happened.

- Or, you know, anything or anyone who I grabbed.

- Do you drink?

- Like...like, now? - Yeah, do you...

- Do you party?

- See, we need to know that you're not a cop.

- Doing coke doesn't mean I'm not a cop.

- Well, I say, we fucking shoot you then, just to be sure.

- Jesus fucking Christ. Black, this shit is not the Wild fucking West.

- You can't just be fucking pulling out your gun.

- You're scaring her. Go get her a fucking drink.

- Get me one too.

- You know...you and Black, are actually a lot alike.

- The way that you both... solve all your problems.

- By shooting them.

♪[dramatic music]♪

- [snort]

- [door bell]

- [CAMERON] Black, get the goddamn door!

- Jesus Christ, what the fuck do we pay that guy?

- You're early.

- We've got issues. Big ones.

- Go into the office. Can't you see I've got company?

- So...those speedballs are tough, right?

- Black. Where's my fucking drink?!

- Goddamnit, Black! I swear to god, if you moved any fucking slower...

- you'd be fucking moving backward.

- Thank you.

- You know what happened, last night, can stay between you and me. Right?

- Nobody has to know. These things, they happen.

- Because you...you're a good shot.

- Now, drink up.

- That vodka's strong, huh?

- Just wait until the acid kicks it.

- Hey.

- What's up? - Nothing.

- It's just... - [door knocking]

- You should probably get that.

- Master Sapphire, I found the exorcist!

- Lizzie, it's 4am!

- Ms. Roja? I'm Charlotte Lockwood, solicitor.

- How do you know my name?

- I'm here for the enforcement of the following court order.

- Jack Marley, you are hearby ordered to the return to...

- the one, Ms. Lisette Montgomary, representative of the...

- Blue Clovers Psychiatric Facility for the Mentally Insane.

- Woah, that's a whole lot of law stuff.

- Psy...Psychiatric Facility? They're a cult.

- I told you they brainwashed him. He doesn't even remember...

- all the treatments we gave him. - Th...Th...Those were drugs!

- Like, drugs? Drugs! - This can't be legal.

- I'm afraid it is, Ms. Roja.

- Ms. Montgomary and the Blue Clovers have full and complete power of attorney over Mr. Marley.

- By harbouring him, you may be found guility of unlawful detainment of an at-risk individual.

- Mr. Marley, please come with us. - [DAVID] Hold up.

- ♪[music]♪ - [unzipping]

- Damn.

- Er, Ms. Montgomary, this gentleman also seems to have...

- a court-mandated power of attorney order for Mr. Marley.

- What? - What?!

- Yeah, I got it that time you was asleep for three straights days, remember?

- You mean, that time after your world-famous roofie coladas?!

- Do I 'remember' that?!

- Well, I got your power of attorney on the point of you being...

- legally tarded. Erm...I got it off this judge I know. Rhineheart.

- The same judge who validated our court order.

- [sigh] One moment.

- [JACK] David...

- How in the everloving fuck do you know a judge?!

- I'm a well connected law guy, dude. I represent you, no charge. Pro boner.

- I...I really don't think that's a good idea, man.

- This address. 9am.

- In the interest of discretion, Judge Rhineheart will...

- ajudicate the case from his home. I trust that's agreement, Mr...

- Coolman.

- You sign your name as 'Coolman'?!

- [JACK] On a legal document?! - Cool.

- Come, Lizzie. You'll have plenty of time for that come tomorrow.

- Not likely.

- Well...I'm beat. Heading to bed.

- My bed? - Well, yeah, it's pretty simple...

- You share with Lucky and I sleep in your bed.

- Do you have even a shred of concern for the decisions that...

- I should be making in my own life? - If I did, then you would be...

- in a straight jacket right now, dude. Just be grateful that I care enough...

- Not to care enough.

- This may be the last night, [sobbing] our poor Jack,...

- has of being not-the-fuck-toy of a cult. So, I expect you...

- to try extra hard at your womanly duties. OK?

- Womanly duties?!

- I mean, sex, I mean, you should bang him.

Reverse cowgirl, maybe. That sounds proper American.

- Get out of my house!!!

- Look, I can see you're tired. I get that, right...

- But I'm gonna sleep with my earphones on.

[whispering] So you guys can be as loud as you want to.

- Ya animals! [laughing].

- [vomitting]

- Alright, it was too strong. You don't have to make a federal case about it.

- Keep watching.

- [vomitting]

♪[music]♪

- [phone ringing]

- [BLACK] Hello?

- Yes. Yes, Cameron Alvarez would like you to know that...

- Lucky's been transferred.

- Yes. Yes, it's all settled with Cameron. Goodbye.

- Wake up, little girl. It's time to start your first day at work.

- [splash]

- [gasps and groans]

- What the fuck is wrong with you?!

- You've been transferred. Don't worry it wasn't my idea.

- You tell her yet?

- Yep.

- This is gonna be the best job you've ever had. I promise.

- Job? - Yep.

- Agh! - [splash]

- Why does this place look so familar?

♪[music]♪

- No.

- [groaning] - No, no, no!

- [door closing and locking]

- Shit!

- Court is now in session. All rise.

- All seated.

- Why are we in your living room?

- We're in this improvised courtroom, as it is the opinion of this court...

- that the case in question would be an embarrassment to...

- the jurisdiction of Sussex.

- 'Cause you took power of attorney from a guy who was clearly drugged?

- Twice? 'Cause you fucked up?!

- [whispering] Your Honour.

- 'Cause you fucked up, your Honour?

- The court will not abide impertinent questions...

- Least of all from an American.

- The court will sit here, in secret.

- The records will not be entered into any offical ledger...

- and all necessary details of this case will be ascribed to...

- some shithole nobody cares about.

- Like Hull.

- Claimant may now present their case.

- [CHARLOTTE] Thank you, your Honour.

- This document, signed and witnessed, invests the power of attorney of...

- Mr. Jack Marley in Ms. Lissette Montgomary, representative of the...

- Blue Clovers Psychiatric Facility for the Mentally Insane.

- Stop calling it that! It's a yurt on the edge of a campground!

- Silence!

- As you can see, your Honour, this young man is very disabled,...

- and deperately needs the sort of advanced psychiatric treatment that...

- the Blue Clovers Facility is more than happy to provide.

- The defence, however, wishes to consign Mr. Marley to...

- the control of, one, "David Coolman".

- I refer you to the court documents which Mr. Coolman himself provided,...

- In which he misspells his own name and lists his occupation as...

- "Big Pimpin'". - So noted.

- The Claimant rests, your Honour. - Very well, you may be seated.

- Counsel for the plaintiff, you may step forward.

- Your Honour. ♪[music]♪

- It is the position of the plaintiff that the aforementioned contract...

- is invalid, as power of attorney was already invested in Mr. David Coolman.

- As power of attorney cannot be reassigned without assents of the current holder,...

- and investiture had not been reclaimed as of the date upon which...

- this new declaration was signed, that the document presented by...

- the claimant is without legal standing. Further, my client was unwillingly under...

- the influence of potent hallucinogenics at the time of his signature...

- and thus was not in a fit state of mind to agree to such a decision.

- Finally, it is the opinion of both my client and myself...

- that psychiatric care for his affliction, can be better provided by...

- his close friend, and farther figure, David Coolman,...

- than Ms. Lissette Montgomary who was last night sighted attempting...

- to eat the Earth's Moon!

- Very good, Doctor Coolman.

- [JULIUS] Ms. Roja.

- I understand Doctor Coolman has permitted you to live in his home.

- Can you testify that he is a fit and able carer for the mentally dumbassed?

- I...plead the fifth?

- Americans.

- [JULIUS] Alright, I've had enough.

- Dr. Coolman, The law is indisputedly on your side.

- Judgement for the claimant, Ms. Montgomary, you may take...

- possession of Mr. Marley at this time.

- You just said!... - Silence, American!

- Dr. Coolman is well aware that I will be finding every case against him...

- until such time as he returns my golf clubs.

- Court is adjourned. - [whip]

- Julius?! What the hell?!

- Come, Master Sapphire, Celestial Enternity awaits!

- No! No!

- I'm not going! - Come on, Jack, be sport.

- David...this is not a real courtroom.

- [whispering] I don't think Julius is even the judge.

- What do you mean? He's got his own whip and everything.

- No, no, no, No! No! Fuck you!

- [whipping] - Baliff!

- Agh! Agh! [groaning] - ♪[music]♪

- [handcuffing]

- [JIMMY] Ha! - You.

- [LIZZIE] Who is this one, Master Sapphire? - [JACK] He, er....is...He...He is...

- The messiah!

- Can it be true? - Yea...he is the true messiah...

- Come to us, in flesh, to lead us to Celestial Enternity.

- He will take us there?

- Well, I...I say us, I mean, you! You and all of the Blue Clovers.

- I was merely the conduit, through which the faithful can be lead to him.

- I can accompany you no further. - Why not?

- My home planet needs me.

- You should demonstrate your faith to the messiah.

- Oh, of course... Compliance Flower?

- [tasering] - [JIMMY] Ugh!!!

- [LIZZIE] Thank you, Master Sapphire. Come, join me one last time...

- that I may carry your child! - That! that...won't be necessary.

- Thank you, Lizzie. Now go!

- The...Celestial...Spaceship is wating.

- England is weird. - Yeah.

♪[psychedelic music]♪

♪[ending title music]♪