Original subtitles

Look, boss. De plane! De plane!

Coconut salad.

Puree of coconut.

Coconut soup.

Mixed coconut.

And prime coconut roast.

Hey, boss, you forgot something.

You forgetting the dessert.

Oh, I hate coconuts!

I can't stand coconuts!

We've been on this island for months.

And it hasn't got anything on it but a coconut tree!

I'll go nuts if I'm on this place another minute!

Hey, boss.

It's a minute already.

It is?

Look, Daffy! Two ships! Two ships!

We are saved! We are saved!

Two sheeps? Two sheeps?

Goody! Goody! Goody! Now we can have lamb chops.

Oh, boy! Leg of lamb!

No, it's ships! It's ships!

You know, ships, like on the water! Ships!

We're saved! We're saved!

- Ship ahoy! - ¡Arriba, arriba!

Hey, ships! Here we are! Here we are!

Ships ahoy there! Over here!

Look! Over here on the beach.

Ship ahoy!

Surrender!

Ahoy there!

Surrender, rabbit!

I've got you outnumbered one to one!

Surrender? Never heard of the word.

So you'll have to try and take the ship.

Now, he should now better than that.

Blast you, rabbit!

Two can play that game.

Look this way, on the beach! Ahoy! Ahoy!

What's the matter with you guys... you are blind?

This way!

Ahoy there!

Come on, you guys,

stop horsing around and rescue us!

Prepare to defend yourself, rabbit,

'cause I'm a-boarding your ship.

Charge!

Retreat!

S-E-S! S-E-S!

That's S-O-S, you jerk!

Okay, S-O-S, whatever. S-O-S! S-O-S!

Avast, you bad-tempered, snuggle-toothed varmint!

Get on deck and load this cannon!

Cut out the Army talk. We're in the Navy.

Set her down. Set her down here.

I'll shiver his timbers,

and I'll batten his hatch, and keelhaul his scuppers.

Now, you long-eared critter,

I'm a-gonna make you pay...

Oh, no!

You doggone idiot galoot!

You'll blow the ship to smithereenies.

And if you does that once more,

I ain't a-going after it.

Oh, no!

Hey, look, boss.

- One ship, she blow his top. - It's a fallout! Scram!

Gotta watch yourself. You're liable to get squashed.

Holy frijoles.

You squashed, boss?

Methinks I've found a map.

It's a treasure map.

Oh, dame fortune slugged me.

I'm rich!

I'm wealthy!

I'm fabulously well heeled.

I'm comfortably well off.

No more coconuts.

Mrs. Mallard's little boy is now a rich duck.

I'll make a wonderful capitalist.

Oh, boy. Boss, we going to find treasure?

We are gonna find that treasure...

...if you've got to dig up this whole island.

Let's get started.

How come I always get stuck on the end of the shovel...

...and don't got no gold on it?

Rackin'-frackin' rabbit.

I'd like to stretch him...

...on a rackin'-brackin'- frackin' rack.

Row faster, you snuggle-toothed varmint,

or I'll batten down your barnacles.

Slow down, you swab! You're going to capsize us!

Slow down! Slow down! Slow down!

Oh, just for that,

I'm a-gonna slice your hawser.

Great thunderation! My treasure map's gone!

Some sneakin' swab's run off with my treasure map.

Oh, I'll keelhaul the swab that done it.

Oh, what be this?

Looks like the one who's done it is wearing black feathers.

Come on, you mangy wharf rat.

I got me a clue.

Let's see, now.

This map says turn left at the swamp.

I don't see any swamp.

Perhaps this sign will help.

"Danger... quick... sand...

...swamp"!

Well, don't just stand there. Turn left!

There's feather-bearing critters in Thar. Now, get in there...

...and see if those critters are wearing black feathers.

Oh, you stupid swab.

There ain't no black feather among them,

and you may lay to that.

I keeps telling you,

cut out that Army talk.

We're in the Navy.

According to this map,

the treasure's got to be buried somewhere among these rocks.

- These rocks? - You can't miss it.

There's a big black "X" marking the spot.

I find him.

¡Arriba, arriba! ¡Andale, Andale!

I don't see no cross, boss, only a beat-up old well.

The last thing in the world this little duck needs...

...is a stupid well.

I'm not thirsty, I'm hungry.

Me, too, boss. I wish I had some cheese.

I am the spirit of the wishing well.

I do my best to please.

The wish you made I grant you,

so here's a hunk of cheese.

Hey, that spirit from the well he give pretty good service.

Stand aside, rodent.

Let me at that well.

Listen, well,

if you can whomp up a piece of cheese for a mouse,

surely you can turn me into a Super Duck...

...So I can fly off this stupid island.

Your fondest wish, your fondest dream,

I'll make you Superduck supreme.

This strange being from another planet is...

...faster than a bullet,

more powerful than a speeding locomotive,

able to leap the tallest buildings.

Disguised as Cluck Trent,

a mild-mannered reporter on a metropolitan newspaper,

Stupor Duck fights an endless battle...

...against the forces of...

...evil.

You call that Super Duck?

You made me a stupid duck.

Patience is a virtue.

Patience brings good luck.

It is seldom found in humans...

...and never in a duck.

You cannot stop me, Mr. newspaper editor.

I blow up everything!

Boom! Powee! Zap! Kaboom!

All over country...

Buildings, bridges, power plants, trains, ships!

Everywhere, ruin and destruction!

Then I, Aardvark Ratnick,

will be supreme!

Blow up buildings?

Bridges? Sink ships?

Say, I believe this Aardvark Ratnick fellow...

...is in league with the forces of evil.

This looks like a job for Stupor Duck.

Now to the broom closet to change...

...from the guise of a mild-mannered newspaper reporter to that...

...of Stupor Duck.

Wrong costume.

...and I, Aardvark Ratnick,

will rule the world!

I don't know why I...

...watch these corny soap operas.

Where is he? Where's the cowardly little sneak?

Escaped out the window, eh?

Stand aside!

This is a job for Stupor Duck!

I mean, wouldn't you think they could find some other place...

...to put a building?

That building down there!

Is blowing up!

The evil work of Aardvark Ratnick.

This is a job for...

...Stupor Duck!

Oh, no thanks are necessary, my good man.

I was just doing my duty.

Then the lights went out...

...all over the world.

You call yourself a wishing well?

There, in the ocean.

A ship's sinking.

Thank goodness I'm in time to show Aardvark Ratnick...

...he's no match for...

...Stupor Duck!

All right, Ratnick,

let's see you try that again.

- Fire one. - One away, sir.

Mother.

That Ratnick's a slippery one, all right.

But not quite slippery enough.

Planting dynamite at the base of that railroad trestle.

The work of that rat Ratnick, or I don't know my rats.

This is a job for...

...Stupor Duck!

I'll just relieve you of that, if you don't mind.

Shucks. I almost had him that time.

But just let him make one false move,

and I'll...

This is a job for...

You know who.

All right, Ratnick,

you better make your first shot a good one,

'cause I'm coming down there and shove that oversized cannon cracker...

...right down your throat!

Up there in the sky!

It's a bird.

It's a plane.

- It's Stupor Duck! - It's Stupor Duck!

Stupid well.

Listen, you at the bottom of the well.

As long as this island is my last resort,

make it a nice resort.

Your uncouth words have reached my ears.

I reluctantly comply.

This shabby little island...

...I shall transmogrify.

Look, boss, a mackerel is happening.

- You mean a miracle. - Si.

Holy frijole! Look at this!

It's all here, just like I wished it.

Even better!

There must be a way for a duck to make a buck...

...in a place like this.

Hey, you got a new suit.

A zoot suit.

Your suit looks nice, too. Who's your tailor?

By George, I've got it!

When word of this wishing well gets around,

will have people pouring in to have their wishes come true...

...at 500 bucks a wish.

Here. Get rid of this map.

Now that we've found the treasure, who needs it anymore?

Hearken closely to these words.

This secret I must tell.

Only he who owns the map...

...is possessor of the well.

Get your filthy hands off that map, you little sneak.

It's mine, do you hear?

Mine! Mine! Mine! And so is the whole island!

Hey, what you gonna call this place, boss?

What else but...

...Daffy Duck's Fantastic Island!

Look, boss! De plane! De plane!

Where? over there?

- Si. - I see.

There it is. The first of many.

Shall we hasten to the dock and greet our guests?

Si, let's do that.

¡Arriba, arriba! ¡Andale pronto!

As the host of Fantastic Island,

let me be the first to extend...

...the hand of hospitality...

...and bid you...

Sheesh!

$500 for a penny, folks,

and cheap at the price.

Yes, sir, ladies and gents, 500 big ones...

...will get you a single, solitary penny.

Plunk it into the well...

...and watch your fondest dreams come true.

Boy, my boss, he plenty smart in the cabeza.

You bet.

Don't shove, folks. There's enough pennies for everybody.

Have your 500 bucks in your hands to save time.

How many, lady?

Just one, please.

The 500 first, lady.

Oh, dearie me. Of course.

I'm so absent-minded.

There you are, sister.

Oh, my gracious.

I'm all of a twitter.

- Hello, well. - Hi.

Go ahead. Toss your stupid penny in the well...

...and make a stupid wish.

Well... here goes.

I guess I've always wanted...

...to minister to the sufferings of humanity.

I wish I was a nurse.

Your wish shall be granted.

Gaze into me and see.

The next time that you see yourself,

a nurse is what you'll be.

Oh, dear. I'm so impatient...

...to get to my first patient.

I tawt... I taw...

...a puttytat.

Great day in the morning!

Instead of one,

it looks like I'm gonna get three.

Bad old puttytat.

Good morning!

And how are my patients today?

And how's the doggie's limb this morning?

Oh, still tender, eh?

Well, maybe that will teach you to stop...

...chasing the pussycat.

And how's the...

...pussyfoot today?

Still sensitive?

Well, maybe now you'll leave that little birdie alone.

I hope this teaches both of you a lesson.

Oh, the poor little tweety bird.

Let's make you a little more comfortable.

Now, you be good boys and get some rest.

I don't like the look...

...in that puttytat's eyes.

Ahh, shut up!

What's going on in there?

My, I must be hearing things.

Didn't I tell you to shut...

My, my. You must be in terrible pain.

We'll just get you back into bed...

...and give you something to make you sleep.

There, now. It'll be more quiet on this side of the room,

and those pills will put you to sleep in a few minutes.

Where did that puttytat go?

He nowhere around.

I better peek in and see...

...how little tweety bird is doing.

Bad old puttytat.

Okay, buster,

you asked for it.

You two at it again?

I'll just have to strap you both in bed.

Now stop sulking.

Why don't you get a hobby like the pussycat?

When you two decide to behave, I'll unstrap you.

I've got good news, boys.

Your X-rays show nothing is wrong with you,

and you're dismissed.

Isn't that wonderful?

Gee, it feels good to be out again.

Que sera sera.

You simply must stop playing in the street.

You're running out of legs.

There you are, sir.

I'm gonna wish a cert... I say a certain rooster...

...into a lot of creative trouble.

Trouble, that is.

Wishin' well... I say, wishin' well, you listening?

I hear you.

State your wish.

Drop in your penny or go fish.

Here it is.

There's this rooster I wants to put... I say put the kibosh on.

Little fella, he's took over my chicken yard,

cornered the market on hens,

and made my life... I say, made my life...

He gave me a complex... Inferior, that is.

You want to drop that penny?

I don't wish the boy any permanent harm, understand?

I just want the cockiness...

I say, the cockiness knocked out of him.

I am here to grant your wish,

the spirit of the well.

I will knock the cockiness...

...out of that little cockerel.

If that's who I think it is,

there's a certain banty rooster...

...that's gonna get booted over the horizon.

Get out and stay out!

Man, you're the sickest.

Like, adios, my friend.

Chicksville!

Let's see if these chicks dig the beat.

Gee Whiz Willigans Golly-gee

I love a girl

And she loves me

Like, clue me the door, chicky.

How about that? The pad's patrolled.

With a real jazzy plan,

I can, like, storm the gates.

Dig this getup, man.

It's the most.

Sick, man. Sick.

What in the Na... I say what in the name of Jesse James...

...do you suppose that is?

Well, what do you know? A tiny foundling rooster.

Why, he's as small...

...as the little end of nothing sharpened.

Da... Da... Daddy-o.

How about that?

The little tyke thinks I'm his daddy.

I always...

I say, I always did want a son.

Now I got one.

Crazy, man.

Yoo-hoo! I say, yoo-hoo!

Where are you, Sonny boy?

Oh, Sonny boy!

Fake it. The fuzz.

Well, what do you know?

Asleep in the henhouse.

Might as well let him sleep.

Hey, what's that?

You all right, son?

I keep hearing the most...

...terrifying sounds in there.

Next.

Next.

Man, you're a weirdo chick.

Look, boy.

I think there's some pictures you ought to see.

Crazy, man. Ca-razy.

Now, let me know when I come to something that interests you.

Wild!

Just like I thought.

He's wacky over females.

Hey, wait a minute, boy.

Don't bother with that cluck.

How'd ya like to meet a real doll?

Wild, man. Real wild.

Okay, you stand in that circle,

and I'll send her the message.

Looks like one of that silly dog's booby traps.

Hey, boy, here she comes now.

Ain't she a angel?

Like, link us, man. Link us.

Then I pronounce you husband and...

...wife... or something.

But I'm a rooster!

Don't let it bug ya, man.

Like, we can't all be perfect.

I've been... I say, I've been hornswoggled.

That jibbery-talkin' rooster never got his comeuppance.

I wa... I say, I wants my money back.

Yes, sir! We're here to please.

- Here's your penny, sir. - I'm no sucker.

Somehow I think I've been hornswoggled again.

Excuse moi, Monsieur.

Is this the line for the wishing of the well?

Out of my way! I can't breathe!

One penny, please.

I wish to make a wish into the well.

Of course, sir. Here you are.

Monsieur well,

I wish to make the wish for a mademoiselle...

...whose beauty shall be so pure...

...as to rival all the beautiful works of art...

...in Le Louvre.

That'll be one penny, please.

I grant your wish to meet a girl...

...of beauty unsurpassed...

...which, when compared with works of art,

will leave the Louvre outclassed.

Le tweet

Le Tweet tweet

Le...

Le purrr.

Qu'il c'est bon, c'est bon

Hey. Pennies from heaven.

How impetuous can you get?

Look, darling, perhaps I am old-fashioned,

but shouldn't we be introduced first?

I am Pepé Le Pew.

This is my first affair,

so please be kind.

I am shy, but...

...I am willing.

I am playing it too cool, no?

Where are you, my little Mona Lisa?

I am looking to find you.

I don't know why, bur...

...I don't really go for this modern sculpture.

Where are you, my little object of art?

I am going to collect you.

Le pant. Le pant.

Guess who?

Le screech!

Don't move, darling.

I want to remember you...

...just as you are.

Aw, shucks.

You moved.

Ah, a trysting place for us.

You clever, you.

And very safe, eh, pigeon?

Look, my little odorlisque,

I will give up art for you.

I am willing to settle down...

...and be a traveling salesman.

I can tell you chaps one thing:

It's not always easy to hold this smile.

My cherry blossom,

how I love the taste of your lips.

Gather lipstick while you may...

...is what I always say.

Look at that. A bunch of thievin' crows.

You just know one of them varmints has stolen my map.

Oh, the cow kicked Nellie In the belly in the barn

Didn't do her any good Didn't do her any harm

La-dee do-dee do-dee-do La-dee do-dee do-dee-do

Didn't do her any good Didn't do her any harm

All right, you mangy feather merchants,

you're my prisoners, so cough up that map.

Hey, look at that.

What in tarnation we got here?

Get on your feet, hombre. I'm a-gonna search you.

I always say a man's got to do...

...what a man's got to do.

Take over.

Nope. They don't match.

Come on, Devil.

We got to keep lookin'.

Great... day... in the mornin'.

Hey! Ain't you even gonna apologize?

Hi, dog.

What's your wish?

My buddy here wishes to be brave and strong like me.

If that's his wish and yours alike,

I'll make Chester brave and strong...

...like Spike.

Hey, you want I should dig up some bones for ya?

Anything you say, Spike, 'cause you and me is pals.

That's right, eh, Spike?

Hey, Spike, you wanna play ball? Eh, you wanna to play ball?

Huh, Spike? You wanna, huh? Huh, Spike? You wanna?

Nah.

Nah. You wouldn't like that, would you, Spike?

Hey, Spike, how about we chase cars, huh?

Is that sound like fun?

Nah.

Nah. That wouldn't be no fun.

How about beatin' up a cat?

Would you like that, Spike? Would you like that? Huh, Spike?

Cat? You know where is it a cat?

Yeah, sure, Spike. Sure, sure. I know where is it a cat.

Oh, boy! We're gonna have fun beating up a cat,

...ain't we, Spike?

Charleston, Charleston

Made in Carolina

Some dance, some prance

I'll say There's nothin' finer than a

Charleston Charleston

Lord, how you can shuffle

Every step you do Leads to somethin' new

Man, I'm tellin' you It's a lot to do

Pop dance, swing dance

Moving back...

Dat's a dirty, underhanded trick to do to you, Spike.

I'll show that cat he can't do that to my pal.

Nah. I'll take care of that cat myself.

Go get 'im, Spike! Go get 'im!

Spike is my hero.

Okay, come out, cat.

No use hidin'.

Dere you are!

Gotcha, ya dirty cat.

Come out and take your medicine,

or I'll pull your tail off by the roots.

Come on! Come on!

Why, you...

I see your cowardly yellow eyes, and I'm a-comin' in after ya.

C-cat...

Big--big c-c-cat.

C-c-cat...

B-b-big...

C-c-cat.

Big...

C-c-cat...

G-g-giant cat.

C-c--big, big...

C-c-c...

You're kiddin', Spike?

You want I should take care of the cat for you, Spike?

I'll give him a one-two, then a right, then a left.

No, you don't. I'll show that cat a thing or two.

Atta boy, Spike! Let him have it! Let him have it!

Atta boy! Let him have it!

Then a right, then a left!

Spike? Spike? Say something.

Look, it's your pal Chester. Please, Spike.

Don't let him get me! Please don't! He's a killer!

- Don't let him near me! - Spike! Spike!

Get a hold of yourself!

That cat's not so tough.

I can take care of him myself.

Yeah? Well, go ahead and get yourself killed.

Just a minute, cat!

Look, Spike, here he is.

Let me take care of him for ya, Spike.

This is for beating up my pal Spike.

Look Spike, if I can lick him, you can.

Because you're big and strong, and I'm puny.

I got a job to do.

Okay, cat, on your feet!

The pussycat's gonna scratch me.

Aw, go on, scratch me. Go ahead, scratch me.

I dare ya to scratch me.

Spike! Spike!

You gotta go back in there. It's for your own good.

No! No! He's mad! He's a killer!

No! No!

You and me is pals, ain't we, Chester?

Huh, Chester? Yeah, Chester.

You want I should dig up some bones for you?

Huh, Chester? Huh, Ches?

Nah.

Hey, Chester, you're my hero...

...'cause you're so strong.

Gee, are ya gonna make another wish?

Are ya, huh? Huh, pal?

Oh, good.

Here comes another anxious customer.

I'd l-l-like to buy one of them pennies...

...to make a w-wish, please.

There you are, sir.

A simple penny to make a wish.

And allow me to remove that cumbersome bundle of money.

Hey, you're 50 cents short.

I'm b-b-broke,

but if this works, it'll be w-w-worth it.

Hi, pal.

I've always w-w-wanted to be a big-shot producer.

You know, so's I could discover n-n-new talent...

...and give them a break.

Discovering new talent for the world to see,

a wondrous thing for a producer to be.

I slayed 'em in Scranton.

La-ra-ra ree ya

La ra ra ra

La ra ra

I panicked 'em in Peoria!

La ra ra

La ra ra

La ra ra-raah

I killed 'em in Cucamonga.

Thank you very much.

I may have a spot for you.

Next, please.

So I laid an egg.

Wonder what's next.

- I'm bingo. - I'm Frankie.

I'm Al.

Mammy, mammy

It's my mammy I'm talking about Nobody else's mammy

My mammy, I tell you

Cut the hubbub, bub.

Let's get this thing off the ground.

Roger, pops. Take off.

A-1, a-2, a-3.

When April showers

May come your way

They bring the flowers

That bloom in May

So if it's raining

Have no regrets

Because it isn't raining rain

You know it's raining Violet

And when you see clouds

When you see clouds upon a hill

Nah, you're not lookin' at clouds

Nah, you're lookin' at daffodils

So keep on lookin'

Keep lookin' for the bluebird

And listening for his song

Whenever April showers

Come along

Th-Th-thank you.

I'll let you know if anything comes up.

That's really not high-class enough.

It's strictly for those silly...

...s-s-swooning bobbysoxers.

Boy, two-headed!

This ought to be a sensational act!

- Act, schmuct. I'm the janitor. - Act, schmuct. I'm the janitor.

Heady is the name...

J. Fennon Heady.

I'll show you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna place this suitcase upon the floor.

Then I'm gonna open the suitcase,

I'm going to seat myself upon this unique platform.

Then I'm gonna manipulate this lever and I'm gonna zoom into the air.

I'm gonna soar up to stratospheric heights...

...500 feet above sea level.

I'm gonna take my stance in a diving position...

...at the platform's edge...

Note the perfect form.

...and I'm gonna dive into the air.

I'm gonna dive not into a tank of water,

not into a bucket of water.

No, I'll tell you what I'm gonna dive into.

An ordinary drinking glass.

Observe.

Now, go ahead, sir.

Oh, a dog act, huh?

No. My card, sir.

Aw, who'd want to d-d-disc...

Give those guys a break?

Shee!

I think we found the varmint done stole my map.

He must live in that hotel over yonder.

Wait here.

I'm gonna sneak over to that there hotel.

It's no use, Sylvester, my mind's made up.

I'm going to make my wish, and that's final.

There you are, ma'am. Happy wishing.

Suffering succotash! I wish you'd reconsider.

Wishing well, oh, wishing well, you I do entreat.

I wish our house would resound to...

...the patter of little feet.

I hear your wish and I obey.

The patter of little feet...

...you shall hear this day.

Lazy good-for-nothing.

Oh, Sylvester!

Isn't it strange...

...we've never had a little bundle from heaven?

Suffering succotash! Don't start...

...that patter of little feet around the house stuff again.

I'm busy.

I work and I slave...

- ...and what thanks do I get? - "And what thanks do I get?

- I wish I was dead. - I wish I was dead. Boo hoo hoo!"

Every day it's the same thing.

Pitter patter of little feet.

Oh, my aching head.

Let's face it.

I can't fly any further.

This place is as good as any.

What's the difference?

A baby's a baby.

It's the environment that molds them.

Congrat... Congr...

Congratulations, madam.

You're a mother.

Sylvester, look! Look!

The stork was here and left us a baby!

A baby? Quick! Quick! Open it! Open it!

Oh, boy! This makes me a father!

- A mouse? - A mouse?

Mama!

Oh, he called me mama.

Isn't he cute?

Cute? He's delicious.

Sylvester, how could you?

After all, he's just a baby.

Even if he is a mouse, he's ours.

Yours and mine?

You're a gambling woman.

What do you take, heads or tails?

You beast! You cannibal! How could you?

Mouse or no mouse, he's your son.

A fine thing.

I've become the father of a breakfast.

Hold still, you little rodent.

And after you're through,

take darling for a walk.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Daddy!

He called me daddy.

Cootchie cootchie cootchie coo!

And now daddy is going to take his widdle man...

...out for a walk. Cootchie cootchie cootchie coo.

Good day, sir. I represent the little giant vacuum cleaner company...

...Walla Walla, Washington, and if you watch closely,

you will notice the powerful action of this machine...

...as it removes completely and forever...

...all foreign particles from around the room.

I realise that you may not be ready to purchase the little giant right now,

but if you ever do,

just remember the little giant vacuum cleaner company...

...Walla Walla, Washington.

Cannibals.

I understand you need a babysitter.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!

Ho, Dancer, ho, Prancer.

Merry Christmas, everybody! Ho ho ho!

A jolly yuletide.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Ho ho ho!

A merry...

What a fuss they made at the office.

I got to get the mouse to his real parents.

Cheese!

Don't touch that!

Those darn cats! Still at it.

I'll show them.

Boy!

Did that mouse grow!

Well, nothing like this ever happened...

...on my side of the family.

Your mind is such a simple thing,

your wish I can foretell.

You're wishing for a husband...

...and the ring of a wedding bell.

Yes.

Oh, if it isn't Prissy.

Yes.

Oh, Prissy, you don't know how lucky you are...

...never to have had children. They're such a trial.

That always burns her up.

You know, Junior scratched a little today...

...for the first time.

Wonderful!

He'll be crowing next thing you know.

Don't touch my child!

What, the very idea!

The nerve of her!

Why doesn't she have her own children?

Oh, my dear, she'd never land a man.

She's too much of a D-R-I-P,

if you know what I mean.

Hey, Hazel,

look who's going out to look for a husband.

Not Prissy?

Yeah, ol' square britches herself.

If you ask me, the poor old thing couldn't catch a husband...

...with a bear trap.

Girls, here she comes.

Happy husband hunting, dearie.

Did you take something with you to clunk him on the head with?

Yes.

Now, who's respon... I say, who's responsible...

...for this unwarranted attack on my person?

'Course, you know this means war.

Now, what have we got here?

All right, sister, out with it. Let's have it.

Now what... I say, what's the big idea...

...bashing me on the noggin with a rolling pin?

Clunk enough people and we'll have a nation of lumpheads.

Now, hold on. That was a joke, girl.

Lump. Heads. Lumpheads.

Nothing to cry about.

Now, let's hear your side of the story, sister.

- Well... - I know ju...

I say, I know just what you're going to say.

You're looking for a husband.

Yes.

Well, you're going about it all wrong, girlie.

You don't bat them on the bean with a rolling pin.

That comes later.

Now, you take that rooster yonder.

There's a fine bachelor rooster.

But...

You're right! He does look like a dog.

But he's a rooster, all right.

He... I say, he just wears that dog suit...

...to keep the lovesick hens away from him.

Now, here's how to get him.

Everybod... I say, everybody knows that the way...

...of a man's heart is through his stomach.

So what you do is: take this fine Casaba melon over to him.

Show him what you got, but don't let him have it.

You got to tease him a little. Make him chase you.

Look, sister, is any of this filtering through that little...

- ...blue bonnet of yours? - Yes.

Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

For me?

This cluck's off her onion.

All right, Salome, give papa the pretty melon.

Give me that Casaba, you peabrain!

He's chasing me.

I'm wide... I say, I'm wide open!

Shoot me a lateral. That's the old passing it, kiddo.

Your rooster, girlie.

I've hooked... I say, I've hooked him.

It's up to you to land him.

Soon... I say, sooner or later,

she's bound to try to get him out of that dog suit.

Then whoa, Nellie!

Hey, wait a minute.

What are you trying to do...

- ...pull my skin off of me? - Yes.

Well, it won't work, girlie. It's on too tight.

Now what's this all about?

Well...

Look, chick, I got news for you.

What you want's a rooster,

not a dog, which I am.

Yes!

Well, with that puss, your only chance to get a rooster is to trap one.

Now, here's how you go about building a trap.

You get yourself a couple of 2 X 4s,

and then you get a stepladder...

What in the... I say, what in the world is that hen up to now?

I don't... I say, I don't know what you're doing...

...with that bowling ball, girlie,

but I'm not one to stand by let a lady do a man's job.

There you are, sister. Have fun.

Nutty as a fruitcake.

Going on your honeymoon?

- Yes. - Yes! I say, yes!

I wonder what them varmints is doing...

...round that old well?

I'll sashay down there and find out.

Move aside!

Make way for a pirate.

Hey, varmint, what in tarnation's going on here?

It's simple, mister. For 500 simoleons, I'll give you a penny.

Drop it in the well and make a wish.

- Your wish will come true. - No kiddin'.

Fork over the cash. You're holding up the line.

Fork over one of them pennies, or I'll cut you off at the pass.

Yes, sir. You talked me into it.

All right, you dumb well.

I've always wanted to have a rich relative...

...who'd kicked the bucket and left all his money to me.

So let's have it!

A very rich relative in poor health...

...doth will to you his entire wealth.

But, Sire, there is no more money.

Your uncle, the king, has cut off your allowance.

You know the penalty...

...for not having the books balanced.

Oh, no!

Not the nose in the book penalty.

Yeah, the nose in the book.

We got to get some money!

- Ooh! Well, what do you want? - Good evening.

My company has selected you, under no obligation,

to be the proud owner of legal tender amounting to...

- We don't want any! - ...£1 million!

A million pounds?

Well, come right in.

Welcome to the house of Sam.

"And so, to make certain that this money be received...

...by a worthy person of mild temperament,

the bearer of the document", that's me...

..."has been authorized to deduct...

...from the total amount any sum he sees fit...

...whenever there is any display of temper."

In short, whenever you blow your top,

you blow some dough. Get it?

Proceed. Allow me to be your most humble...

...and mild-tempered host.

Oh, Sam! Pass the salt, please!

Salt? Get it yourself!

That'll cost you about...

Salt? Why didn't you say so?

Here's your salt, bunny. I hope you like it.

Oh, the pepper, please!

Pepper!

Yeah, the pepper. Coming right up.

...to put a room across...

- Oh, Sam! - Oh, no.

How about the olives?

That dirty pekish-alta bak-a-flappin'...

...filabustin' gloom-a-burtin...

Now, what was that you were saying?

I like you, rabbit.

I heard you in there. That will cost you £300.

- £300! - 400.

I'm not sleepy. I'll hang around a while.

- Good night, Sam. - Nighty-night, bunny.

I dream of Jeannie

She's a light brown hare

La te re da

La la la re a ta te a

Stop that music, you crazy rockin' fragin' varmint rabbit!

Well, that should be worth £400.

I was only kidding.

How about singing me to sleep with that Brahm's lullaby?

- What do you say, Frankie boy? - Well, maybe.

- Do you like it? - I like it. I like it.

Get out of there!

Come out of there, you splatter-spattin' nasa-trapperall!

I heard you. That's gonna cost you £400.

And 35 shillings.

Hey, doc, what's that song you're playing?

I like it.

Dirty son of a...

If this keeps up, I won't have anything left.

I'll get rid of him and make it look like an accident.

Oh, Mr. Bunny!

There's someone at the door for you.

Tell him to come back tomorrow. I'll be here all day.

What? Oh, no, you're not! You're coming out right now!

Out! Out! Out!

Okay, Sam, it's all yours.

Why, you...

The Alps have got nothing on these stairs for climbing.

I got it licked, rabbit.

I don't get mad no more. Watch this.

See? I can take it. Yeah.

I haven't got the heart to tell him that he's used up all the money.

Oh, I hates wishing wells.

See here, my good fellow,

you're creating a bottleneck in the line.

Oh, yeah? Seaweed Sam don't take...

...that kind of talk from no fancy pants!

Yikes! You've unpanted me.

Feel a draft, varmint?

Wretch. Have you no couth?

Great horny-toads. It fits.

So you're the map- stealing varmint...

...that done run off with my treasure map.

Well, you got three seconds to cough it up...

- ...before I stunts your growth. - Oh dear.

To have my weakness exposed in front of all these people...

So what? What if I am a coward? At least I'm a live coward.

Oh, take the map.

Now to find the treasure.

Let's see now...

"Walk 10 paces north by northeast.

1...2...

...3, 4...

...5, 6, 7, 8, 9...

...10.

¡Arriba, arriba, arriba!

¡Arriba! ¡Andele!

Out! Out, infidel.

Pollute not my wholesome well.

¡Arriba, arriba, arriba!

¡Arriba! ¡Andele!

Well, get out of my way!

I'll catch that rodent varmint.

The only two things a pirate will run for...

...is money and public office.

¡Arriba! ¡Andele!

I got it! I got it!

No, I got it!

Slow down, you cantankerous cuss!

Let go of my map, you duck-billed platypus!

Hey, boss, watch out for the volcano!

Hot rocks! You'll get hot foots!

Now look what you done, you flea-brained varmint!

- You ruined my map! - Map?

Only he who owns the map...

...is possessor of the well.

Oh, my gosh, the island's changing back to what it was!

Maybe that stupid well's got one more wish left in it.

I suspect not.

How about just one teensy-weensy wish? Just one?

There are some wishes in the well. In truth, they number three.

Use these three wishes wisely, friends,

for they are the last there will be.

Did you hear that, fellas?

The well has graciously consented...

...to give us three more wishes.

- Isn't that swell? - ¡Marvelousomente!

You could wish for E.T. to get home.

Three wishes. That's one apiece.

Speedy can wish the first one,

me the second, and Sam the third.

Listen. My stomach she is grumbling.

I wish I had a big fat burrito.

Oh, I never saw a burrito that looked so good like this before.

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

How can you make a stupid wish like that?

You've wasted a wish!

I wish that burrito would stuck right into your dumb nose!

Frijole! What are you doing? Get this off! Take him off quick!

I can't breathe nothing but burrito!

Well, Sam, I guess there's only one thing to do.

We'll have to use that third wish of yours to get that burrito off his nose.

It's the only humane thing to do.

Don't you think so, Sam?

- Sam? Sam! - Too late, duck.

I already wished for a pirate ship.

After I sinks a certain pesky rabbit,

I'll come back and pick you up!

Oh, you're despicable!

And now I say, without the jokes...