Original subtitles

[electronic music playing]

[printer whirring and beeping]

[aeroplane taking-off]

[pilot over PA] G'day, ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Australia.

As you know, Australia is an island which has been isolated

from many dangerous animal and plant diseases.

[passengers coughing]

The cabin area is now being sprayed by quarantine officers.

This is an essential precaution against the insects,

which might otherwise introduce human or agricultural diseases

into Australia.

Please ensure that you remained seated until the spraying is completed.

If you experience discomfort from aerosols sprays,

we suggest you place a handkerchief over your nose and mouth.

-Thank you for your attention. -[sneezes]

[printer whirring and beeping]

[lively music playing]

[printers whirring]

[indistinct office chatter]

[secretary] A gentleman to see you.

Oh, Frank Hunter?

Becker, Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Who? From where?

Becker, Atlanta, Georgia. Straight from the airport.

Just dropped my cargo bag and stuff at a hotel

and came right here.

[Becker] This is beautiful.

I'm pleased to meet you, Becker.

What can I do for you?

I, uh, was report to you today, wasn't I?

[door beeping]

[secretary] Telex just arrived.

Uh, thank you.

Excuse me.

No, sit down, please.

-[door closes and beeps] -Ah, yes, it's all here.

You beat your assignment papers.

I like a man who arrives before his print-out.

I just never understand why these telexes always arrive damp.

[grunts softly] Well, Becker,

they call you, for my eyes only,

"a brilliant troubleshooter."

That's about right.

My only problem is…

I'm not aware that we're in any kind of trouble.

Well, that's why I'm here.

I'm sorry. I guess everybody has trouble.

[Becker] We have a month.

What for?

To get the job done.

To find firstly, where the trouble is.

Secondly,

why it is.

Thirdly, devise a strategy

and four, act.

Sounds simple.

It is. You'll see.

Can I offer you something?

-Coffee? Tea? -Uh, yes, please.

Well, which would you like?

Coffee or tea?

Yeah, that's fine with me, coffee or tea.

Thanks.

[alarm beeping]

-[trumpet music playing] -[rat squeaking]

[whistle blows]

How are you, little guy?

[rat squealing]

Okay, little guy.

[exhales sharply]

[Becker continues exhaling sharply]

[karate chants]

Bai-seh!

Your breakfast, sir.

Welcome to Australia.

Everybody's happy to see you here, sir.

I won't say who or why, according to instructions.

[pours drink]

Take care of your jet lag, sir.

And have a very, very nice day.

What the hell was that?

[helicopter whirring overhead]

[man shouting] Buy your Australian here! Get your Australian here!

What d'you wanna buy? What are you reading?

Get your Australian here!

Get your tits, Lotto, weekly numbers! We got tits and numbers right here now!

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Do you sell American newspapers here?

American newspapers?

This is Australia, mate.

We sell Australian papers. Hm?

Well, that would be appropriate, yes.

Right on. Take it or leave it.

I'll leave it. Thanks.

Good day, Mr. Becker.

-Hello. -[man] Have a nice day.

Mr. Hunter told me, I'll be working as a secretary.

while you're here.

Well, that's just fine.

It's almost nine o'clock. I'll see you at the office.

All right.

See ya.

Frank, can we talk now?

[Frank] Come in, Fred.

Shut the door.

Frank, what's going on?

Our advice from headquarters

is "Listen to him.

Don't get angry.

Don't get scared, either.

And do not be surprised."

How am I supposed not to get surprised

when he walks into my office and asks can he borrow a Bible?

They call him "Whiz Kid."

And they advise

don't try to understand him.

They don't.

They just know he doubles and triples sales in no time.

He asked me if I'd ever heard anything

I'd call an Australian Sound.

[chuckles softly] Did you?

"And you should know,

Coca-Cola is sold in 155 nations across the world,

and it is the same drink everywhere."

[woman humming]

"We have more markets than the United Nations."

-Well-- -"Every day, 260 million people

pause for that moment of refreshment.

That unparalleled moment--" Underline "unparalleled."

-[pencil snaps] -Oops.

Well, if you don't want to understand what my point is.

Okay, what's your point?

If men and women are going to work together,

something might happen.

I don't want to hear that.

-I'm say-- -"Let there be no misunderstanding.

Our policies and strategies will be dictated

by the needs and desires of the consuming public.

-Our company…" -"Needs and desires."

Needs and desires of what?

Maybe you're just not interested in women. [blows]

[low bass tone playing]

Do you hear that sound?

[low bass tone playing]

It's a very specific sound.

[man shouting] Get your truth here. Get your truth here!

Words on every page. Girls and news. Girls and news.

Cartoons and girls! Cartoons, girls, and news.

[throbbing bass notes playing]

[man playing didgeridoo]

Excuse me, sir!

I would love

to have your picture… [clicks tongue]

…and your sound.

You're going to use me in the movies?

Yes! Movie.

[man continues shouting]

You want my number?

If I'm not here,

the fellas know where to find me.

Ring my agent.

[chuckles softly]

Mr. Joe.

[Mr. Joe] Thanks very much.

[whispers into mic]

You may be asking yourselves

"What is an ex-Marine doing on this side of the globe?"

Well, as your may or may not know,

Marines fall on every continent

on the face of the earth except Australia.

So…

here I am.

First, we have to ask ourselves,

"Do we need to explain our product to the public?"

Last year in Rome,

l had a chance to talk with one of the top guys

in the Jesuit hierarchy,

and he told me,

he said they consider us--

Excuse me, miss, your feet belong on the floor.

They consider us in bringing God's business

of goodwill and good news to the people

no less than second to themselves

in this whole wide God-fearing world.

Yes.

They see us as the smart guys

who distribute and sell the miracle of America.

And that's exactly what we are.

When you have a product with charisma,

you don't have to explain a goddamn thing, no.

Here you go, honey.

You need only…

bring it to the people.

Good catch.

[chuckles]

Try to analyze it

and you'll end up

with, uh…

"dark color, cold, wet, and bubbly.'' Come on.

That is no way to explain what getting in touch

with the American way of life

really means to billions of people.

[Becker opens can of Coca-Cola and pours it out]

Listen, the sound of Coke.

-[drink fizzes over] -Mm!

Dark and bubbly.

And why our dark and bubbly liquid

is so loved by all those Eskimos and other Canadians,

we don't need to know.

We need only just to bring it to the people.

All right.

[projector whirring]

[man] Okay, here we are.

Oh, sorry about that. It won't take a sec.

Whenever you're ready, Mr. Projectionist.

[man] Just getting the focus.

It's quite a pretty effect, Daryl.

We're working on it. [chuckles]

Let us take a look at available charts

of crosscheck points and social activities

of our selling outlets, shall we?

-Excuse me, please. -[man] Sorry, boss.

[projector beeping]

[beeping tone raises in pitch]

[Becker] Frank,

have them take it back again.

Take it back, Fred.

Well, how far back do you want?

As far as it takes, Fred.

Uh, could you take that back, please, Daryl?

[beeping]

Fred, give me a break. The other way.

The other way.

-More. -More.

-[Becker] More. -[Fred] More.

-More. -More.

-Stop. -Stop!

Frank, what is that wide gap there?

Is that a per capita consumption chart?

Yes, that's right. Erm…

I don't know what's there, must be a national park.

-Maybe a desert. -Uh-huh.

Well, We should be selling in national parks and in deserts.

People tend to get thirsty in deserts, Fred.

Maybe it's uninhabited.

[Frank whispers under breath]

I have a hunch there must be somebody there.

All right, take me in for a closer look.

[electronic noises]

[Becker] Give me churches,

schools,

bars.

Oh, that would be Anderson Valley.

Playgrounds.

Supermarkets.

Cemeteries.

See,

there is a living population there.

A few thousand maybe.

It's pretty isolated.

Well, they must have throats.

I mean, there must drink something.

There used to be a soft-drink man down there,

but… [clears throat] …it was a long time ago now wasn't it, Fred?

Well, what the hell is he, Frank?

A Pepsi man?

Frank,

I asked you a question.

No.

There's no Pepsi or Coke in Anderson Valley, I'm afraid.

How come she knows that and you don't, Frank?

I come from there.

I know the man.

Is she telling me

that this man makes his own soft drink, Frank?

[Terri] Since the beginning of time.

-Good ones. -And he sells where we can't.

Fred, I want you to give me all the data on that place.

I don't know why in the whole goddamn world

that we don't sell a single bottle down there.

He owns Anderson Valley.

He owns the people. He owns the birds and the trees.

Rent me a four-wheel-drive for tomorrow morning, please, will you?

Now.

Sure.

[door closes and beeps]

I want to see this Anderson Valley.

Uh, right.

Fred, what are you doing for the next couple--

Frank, I want to go alone.

He might prefer to go alone, Frank.

-Take a gun. -[chuckles]

[Becker] "Take a gun."

Projectionist.

Would you see to it that those tapes end up on my office desk, please?

Okay.

-She'll be right, mate. -Thank you.

-She's right, China. -Say what?

Anytime.

Right.

Have you seen the projectionist?

The guy is wearing a fucking Pepsi t-shirt.

[chuckling] I wouldn't worry about it.

He's just having us on.

It's Australian humor.

lt's product disloyalty is what it is, Frank.

Oh, come off it, Becker.

[Frank] I mean, look at it this way.

Probably a guy over Pepsi wearing one of our t-shirts.

[Becker] And he called me China.

Now, why in the hell would he call me China?

-I don't know. -[Projectionist whistles]

Maybe it's your squinty eyes.

Frank.

I didn't expect to find anything like this on the floor in the office.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was feeding the fish.

I don't want to see anything like that again, Miss.

Terri.

My name's Terri.

Yes, ma'am. I know what your name is.

[machine beeping]

Speaking of the significance of personal disorder,

JFK, John Fitzgerald Kennedy,

he used to comb his hair 15 minutes before leaving Air Force One.

His aides were, of course, complaining.

And what did he say?

He said,

"It is not Jack Kennedy that's going to walk off this plane,

but the United States of America."

[telephone ringing]

Hmm.

Okay, Becker.

Let's call it a day, shall we? I'll see you in the morning?

Excuse me, sir.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Excuse me, sir?

-[man] Where is my alimony? -Kim! You shouldn't have come here.

Wait a minute.

Where's the 227 bucks for our daughter?

Look, I'm telling you, just get out of here.

-You know I still love you. -[Terri struggling]

Hello, security.

Why isn't anybody there?

Thank you, security.

Who is this?

Cleaning lady!

-[Kim laughing] -Kim! Get off!

-[Terri straining] -Thank you, cleaning lady.

[Terri shouting]

Excuse me, sir, I hate mixing into family affairs,

but I recommend you start behaving right now.

[Kim] What are you, her new protector? [giggles]

That's a nice tie, eh?

[hums cartoon tune]

Please stop.

[Becker] God damn!

[Kim] Hey, hey. I only came here for my alimony.

Security!

Okay, you just sit real still. Security!

Have you got him?

All right, take him. Take him.

He's yours. He's yours.

-Yeah. -Terri, call the police, please.

[Kim groaning]

Whoa!

Whoa-oh!

l still want a family, you know.

Excuse me, Miss.

What are you doing?

[girl] What does it look like?

Well, it looks like you're making photocopies of your face.

That's what I'm doing.

Yes, ma'am. No, uh, what I meant was

what are you doing in this office?

I come here all the time.

I am DMZ.

That's what my parents call me.

It means demilitarized zone.

When they throw things at each other,

I'm off-limits.

Come here.

You have a seat right there.

What's your name?

[Terri] Rebecca?

You can call me

the Coca-Cola Kid.

-Rebecca? -Okay?

-Oh, look-- -Hi, mommy.

I'm really sorry.

Look, sorry, that that was Kim, my ex-husband.

He's, um, he's very political, and he's dedicated to his beliefs.

You see, he makes his own vodka. It's…

something from

potatoes and chopped wood, I believe. Messes him up real bad.

Hm. Let's just see to it that's not repeated, shall we?

Oh, no. Look, it won't be repeated.

He never does the same thing twice.

Bye, Coca-Cola Kid!

-[jeep rumbling] -[birds screeching]

[whispers] Blazes.

And what the hell are you doing?

Sorry, mate.

Must have scared you shitless, eh?

Uh, yeah, you did.

Uh, look, I'm really sorry. I…

Got some water in the tank.

Are you hurt, ma'am?

[pilot] He means you. Are you hurt?

No, no, it's Duncan.

It's Duncan.

Poor soul. He fell down the well

and he's broken his arm.

[Becker] He's all bunged up.

Looks like I got some trouble with the plugs.

Can you help us?

You put your hands around my neck

and fall back.

There you go.

-It's all right. -[laughs]

You know, this is what Marines are for.

[laughs] Oh, you are a dear.

Just imagine.

No man is carried me in his arms since 1945

and I like it.

Oh, thank you, young man.

[pilot] You're pretty strong for someone so cute.

-I'm Juliana. -Mr. Marine.

My name's Becker. Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

-This is my aunt, Mrs. Haversham. -How do you do, Mrs Haversham?

[Juliana] We're just taking Duncan to the vet.

I'll have you there in no time.

Here. I believe this is yours.

-[Juliana] Great. -Sweet, sweetie Duncan.

[engine turns over]

How's he doing, Mrs. Haversham?

Oh, he's wonderful. He's so patient.

[Becker] Hi. How you doing?

All right.

[men shouting indistinctly]

[bell dinging]

Hello.

My name is Becker.

You need a doctor, sir?

No, I need a room.

Let me get some medical attention for you, sir.

Oh, oh, oh! No, no.

Well, you are not gonna believe this, but I was driving my jeep.

and this plane comes overhead and lands right in front of me.

This little lady was sitting there.

I, uh…

I took a fellow to the hospital.

Oh, I see.

I need a room.

-Just put your name there, sir. -Uh-huh.

What's your, uh…

What's your business?

Coca-Cola International.

Oh, you must be here to see T. George then, eh?

No, not at all.

Why?

Who's T. George?

Everybody knows T. George, sir.

And every year, some fella comes from Coco Cola to talk to him.

[chuckles]

And they're never heard of or seen again, right? [laughs]

Straight across, sir.

May I speak to Mr. McDowell?

[woman on telephone] Who is this calling, sir?

My name is Becker.

I'm visiting from United States.

-Mr. Becker? -Yes ma'am.

-Is it a tourist visit, sir? -[chuckles]

Uh, no, ma'am, this is not a tourist visit.

I'd, uh, I'd like to arrange a meeting with Mr. McDowell

to discuss some business, if I may?

Mr. McDowell isn't available at the moment.

Say what?

I'm sorry, Mr. McDowell is very busy at the moment.

Well, I understand that Mr. McDowell is very busy.

-Mm-hm. -Can I take a message for him?

[birds screeching]

[suspenseful music playing]

-[indistinct conversation] -[dogs barking]

[men laughing in the distance]

[man] Everything's apple pulp.

[tractor whistle blows]

[man shouting] Justin!

[camera shutter clicks]

[camera shutter clicking]

[gunshots]

[birds screeching]

How you doing tonight?

[softly] I'm sorry, sir. You aren't booked here anymore.

Like hell I'm not.

This your luggage, sir?

We thought-- The boss said that you were checked out.

Well you can tell your boss I'm checking in again, okay?

I can't, sir. There aren't any rooms.

It looks to me like there's plenty of keys for rooms.

There are keys, sir, but there aren't any rooms.

Jesus Christ.

What the hell is going on?

Would you like to have a steak or a cup of tea?

-It'll calm you right down. -T.George.

T. George.

-I didn't mention any names, sir. -[fork clatters]

[shushing]

Something to eat, sir?

Are there any motels or hotels in this friendly town?

-Afraid not, sir. -Uh-huh.

-That's nice. -Best in the west, sir.

It ain't that goddamn good.

Let that be a lesson to you.

You can't come in here.

It's the inner sanctum.

[scoffs]

[wind howling]

[birds chirping]

[sheep bleating]

Morning.

Morning.

The last thing I ever expected to see up here was a camel.

I was riding a wombat up until this morning.

-Broke a leg and had to shoot him. -[chuckles]

Push down.

-[Becker] What? -[camel grunts softly]

-[camel grunts] -Hold it there.

-[grunts] -I'll get to you over tea.

-[grunts] -Settle.

[Becker] What are you doing?

Tea for two.

-Far away from home, huh? -Yeah.

I can't understand people who can't stay home.

Looking for trouble,

taking risks they don't need.

Look, I appreciate your tea, but, uh…

you can keep your advice, okay?

[camel grunts softly]

[chuckles] Oh, you shouldn't listen to an old fart like me.

You're an American. You should know better.

You bet.

It's good tea.

What's your point, mister?

[wind blowing]

Well, you see, around here,

I'm like the Lone Ranger. Special constable.

I got to move you on.

[clicks tongue] And, uh, what if I don't want to move?

[fire hissing]

[Becker clears throat loudly]

This is getting very serious.

[enthralling music playing]

[Becker] Hey, McDowell.

That's me.

[grunts]

[Becker] Here's your boy.

What can I do for you, sir?

Nothing, I'm afraid.

[grunts] Yankee bastard.

[jeep engine starts]

[cuts engine]

I like a tenacious man.

Come. I'll show you the plant.

[breathing heavily]

[metal clanging]

Fifteen thousand bottles a weekend, nine varieties,

and I crush my own fruit.

[man] Back the pressure off.

Well, not many operators still crush their own fruit,

that's for goddamn sure.

I am the last.

Started in 1924 at 18 years of age.

You will note this was before refrigeration.

Yes, sir.

Have you ever tried selling soft drinks when there is no refrigeration?

[chuckles] No, sir.

We started with crushed ice.

I brought crushed ice to this country.

Nothing man has invented will ever be better than ice.

Ice is silent.

Ice does not destroy, it preserves.

Here.

-For your face, kid. -[laughs] Thank you, sir.

It is related to life, not death.

Oh, your compatriot, the late Mr. Walt Disney,

is preserved on ice.

Let's hope it does him some good, Mr. McDowell.

-Oh, T. George. Call me T. George. -Thanks.

What the hell is this doing here?

That is the woman of my life.

Say what?

Thelma.

The girl from Hobcoppin, Mississippi.

Oh, she was all over the town during the famous Rotary convention

I attended in St. Louis.

So you stole her from Coca-Cola?

Once I had seen this beautiful woman,

I couldn't rest until I had found and, of course,

married her and brought her back here.

She never understood… ice.

She bore me a child, and soon afterwards killed herself,

and I've never forgiven her.

Ah, this is an original Eckersley carbonator. I can't believe it.

And still in perfect working condition.

Uh, Mr. McDowell-- Uh, T. George…

I must confess, you run an impressive operation

but I don't imagine your profit margin's overwhelming.

Oh, we're in the black.

Yeah, but you must be barely surviving.

Well, sir, the quality of my drink is still the same as 60 years

and 27 international awards ago.

-Uh, T. George… -Mm.

I'm interested in helping you move into modern times.

What do you say?

I'm sure your help must be needed in some places.

I think you should find those places and help them as much as they'll let you.

Mr. McDowell, there's something I'd like to impress on you.

I am the one who decides who needs my help.

Well, I'm afraid my time is over.

That would be your choice, sir.

Your car is waiting.

Goodbye.

[dog barking]

[barking continues]

[cockatoo squawks]

-Which one do you think he'd like? -Who?

The Coca-Cola Kid.

I want you to take some cookies to him at work.

[Terri] He doesn't like sweets.

He's not a sweets person.

Don't you like him, Mommy? He likes you.

No, he doesn't.

He doesn't like me at all.

Here, pop back a sec.

I think he likes you a lot.

You can tell by the way he looks at you.

[cockatoo squawks]

[trolley squeaks]

What did I tell you?

You work on the weekends?

-Nights, too. -You okay?

-Certainly. -Mr. Becker, I'd like to work with you.

Look, I'm from the United States.

Okay? I am American.

I know. CIA.

You know, Frank, he's got a real class operation up there, though.

It's like stepping back into the goddamn 1920s.

Did you get your tires slashed?

No.

But l could well have come home with a few holes in me.

Check this out.

[Frank] Uh, I didn't have the courage to tell you.

-Thought you should find out for yourself. -Thank you, Frank.

Oh, Becker, you're a miracle-maker. You flushed him out.

Your pants are showing.

Mr. McDowell has invited himself up to see us.

[women giggling]

[woman 1] It's my turn to go to the post office.

-You always do. -[woman 2] I do not!

[woman 3] Terri!

What's all the racket?

What the hell are you doing?

Hiding from my past.

Be professional.

Will it work, Mr. McDowell?

We can but try.

Ready, girls? Come.

That's my girl.

[man] I think Mr. McDowell has a proposition to put to us.

Why don't we go into business together?

I beg your pardon?

You market your drinks in my territory,

and you market my drinks internationally.

ls that so?

-Well, uh, what do you think, Becker? -Fascinating.

-We could avoid a trade war. -Mm-hmm.

I'll put my proposition to you as one marketing man to another.

May I? Thank you.

-Feel free. -[Becker chuckles]

I propose to call the line…

McCoke.

[rattling]

♪ Old McDee and Coca-Cola ♪

♪ Found a new brand, brand-new cola ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Did you ever try that taste? ♪

♪ You know right away it's great ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ What about our mountain well? ♪

♪ Here our drinks sure taste swell ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

-[McDowell] Aren't they lovely? -Very nice.

-[woman 1] Red currant, madam? -[woman 2] One for you.

-[woman 1] Would you like a drink, sir? -Go ahead, try it.

It's a stronger combination than Coke

but then, I like a drink that hits the palate strongly.

Yep, 15,000 bottles a week in nine varieties.

Cola, black currant, passion fruit, cream, lemon-lime, orange,

ginger ale, grape, and, of course… tutti-frutti.

-[man] Thanks. I'll have that green one. -[woman 1] Lime, sir?

Is there an office in here with a window facing north?

[McDowell] Look at that.

The pilot is an old friend of mine, George Scribner.

I owe part of my success to the use of his skywriting,

especially at country shows.

[Frank] Fascinating presentation.

[McDowell] Please, drink up.

I sense your resistance.

Well, I'm too old a salesman,

been on the road too long not to know when I've met resistance.

I sense your amusement at an old man's ideas.

Hmm.

Well, gentlemen, may I ask you to sleep on it?

Well, I always say there are three sides to every question.

Your own side, the other fellow's side, and, uh…

the right side.

Mr. McDowell, I'll be down your way very soon.

-Mm. -Thank you for coming.

[McDowell] Come, girls.

Congratulations, Becker. You got him.

Jesus, Frank, the man has his pride.

Christ, Becker, don't be so damn serious.

I just don't think it calls for a goddamn comedy routine, that's all.

[Fred] He's still up there. He's still writing it up there.

Fred.

I should get back to work.

[Fred] Silly old bugger, spoiling our view.

McCoke!

[woman] Frank? Frank?

Look. I'm so sorry, I…

-I have something I have to tell you. -I'm not interested!

-But the thing is-- -I am not interested, okay?

Now, whether you're on something or just plain crazy

is none of my business.

-Yeah, but-- -Let's just part our ways amicably, okay?

-Yeah, but the thing is-- -Shut up, you half-wit!

-I'm sorry. -[sobbing]

Good God, girl, you are a mess.

[Terri shivering]

If, uh…

If you resign from your job for, uh, personal reasons,

it will save you from getting fired.

Now, get your things together.

[sniffles]

[Terri] My daughter wanted me to give you this.

Thank you.

[sniffles]

[Terri hums tune]

[giggling]

It's getting really long.

Do you think my hair will grow

-as long as Rapunzel's? -Who?

Rapunzel. You remember that girl who grew her hair long.

And the lady was jealous, so she put her up in a tower

as a prisoner… [yelps]

…and then the prince came and rescued her

because she let her long, long hair down, and he climbed up.

And then what?

Then they went to the palace.

And then…

they got married.

-And then they lived happily ever after. -Hmm.

[squeaks]

[instruments play over each other]

-Hey, Joe, how are you doing? -Thank you.

Uh, which one of you is the leader?

-Looks like it's me. -How you doing?

Hi. I'm Phillip.

Phillip, what is this?

You sing for the Labor Party?

Yeah. It was a wash-out.

We did it just as a gig. It was, you know, it was well-paid.

We're not political.

Well, I can't use you if you're anti-American.

We're not anti-American. We're very positive.

We don't even eat meat.

Peace.

-Anti-nuke? -Not at all.

We're the people of the sound.

No opinions.

We play for money. We're very good, sir.

Use your ears, sir.

[piano plays]

[music increases in tempo]

[Phillip whistles]

Now. See, what we're after here is the Australian sound.

What that is, hell knows, but that's what I'm paying you for.

-Right, Phillip? -Now, when you say sound,

do you mean musical sound or anything at all?

[guitar string sounds]

I don't know, Phillip.

But then, I don't have to know, do I?

I just have to know who can do it and pay 'em to do it.

Come on, guys. Here's the sound.

[band mimics bird calls]

[mimics crowing]

[mimics bleating]

-[crowing continues] -[band mimics animal sounds]

How was that, Mr. Becker?

Well, you tell me.

Is that the Australian sound?

I mean, do we have the Australian sound here?

I'd say that was easily as Australian, as, um, well, a barbed-wire canoe.

As Australian as a shit sandwich.

That's great. That's great. Let's lay one down, shall we?

[music playing]

♪ Don't want to go Where there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Choke back the tears When there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Under the hot sun ♪

♪ When the day is done ♪

♪ And you're dying of thirst ♪

♪ There's only one drink, it's universal ♪

♪ Don't want to go Where there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Choke back the tears When there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Keeps you up 'Cause there's nothing like Coke ♪

How's that, Mr. Becker?

Well…

I say we go again.

Let's go for that extra mile, okay?

[piano plays]

-Can I buy you a drink? -Nope.

-Mm. -[chuckles softly]

I like you, you know,

-even though I got the sack. -Mm. That's good, Terri,

because you ain't comin' back.

I'd like to be left alone, please, ma'am.

Just a friendly drink, nothing else.

Mm-hmm.

I'd like to be left alone.

[arcade game beeping]

[Terri] Listen, Phillip, just… don't ask me why.

Just bring Becker to my party, dead or alive.

Okay.

[upbeat music playing]

Now, look. How should I talk to him? Like a woman?

Oh, just be natural… [chuckles] …Marjorie.

It's fabulous.

-That's great. It's great. -He's coming!

[music continues]

Hi. I'm Marjorie.

-Uh, my name is Becker. -Becker, okay, want to dance?

I'm not a very good dancer.

That's okay. I'll tell you everything you need to know.

You know, Becker, the best thing for jet lag is dancing.

Well, I'm long over my jet lag.

I'll tell you something.

Foreigners, when they come to this country, they never lose it.

You know, Becker…

you are really good-looking.

Phillip?

Uh… Excuse me, Marjorie. Thank you very much.

My pleasure, Becker.

Oh, look, man, it's really been one hell of a day.

Look, I should be home in bed.

As a matter of fact, I should've been in bed hours ago.

-Relax, man. Have some fun. -Have some fun?

-Come on, man. -Have a drink.

Phillip, are these "girls" girls?

They're all girls.

-Mr. Becker? -Yes.

-Fancy you being here. -It's my secretary.

Excuse me.

Terri, uh… It's an error that I'm here.

It's a terrible error.

Look. I hope you'll be discreet about this.

Why is that?

-Is this what you're into? -No.

You're the Coke dealer, aren't you?

No!

Get away from him! God damn!

[woman screams]

What's going on?

What's going on? You're leaving. That's what's going on.

-Who asked you? -Who asked me? I did.

Oh, Hawaiian dress on?

I don't want these freaks near my daughter!

Come on, leave! Get out, you perverts!

This is my place!

Look, I don't want them around my daughter.

Get out!

[Kim] You start with Coca-Cola,

you end up with perverts and junkies!

Hi.

This is so embarrassing.

[Kim] Oh, get out of here. Oh, get out of here. Whoa…

I'm so embarrassed.

[Terri] Stop telling me what to do with my life!

[Rebecca] Don't cry.

[indistinct shouting]

I just can't wait for you to fucking get out!

You fucking get out of my life!

Don't worry about them.

-They're like that all the time. -[chuckles] Are they?

[Terri] Oh! [cries and groans]

-You… -Don't you get…

-[softly] Thank you. -Terri, Listen, stop it!

[indistinct shouting]

Leave me. I'm quite capable of sorting it out.

-I can have a good life-- -You can have a good life, yeah?

It was going pretty well until you came along!

-Was it really? -Yes.

[cockatoo squawking]

-Thank you. -[Rebecca] It's all right.

[Kim] How many blokes have you been with?

-So good you can't even remember? -[Terri] I liked… I enjoyed it.

[plate shatters]

[laughs boisterously]

[continues laughing] Phew!

Get out!

She's a dangerous woman, your mother.

She's an unhappy woman.

[Terri] Get out!

She's peculiar.

-She is. -Yeah.

-[shattering continues] -[man groaning]

Thanks.

[sniffs]

Well…

I'm going to go break this up.

-I think-- -Get out!

-Uh, Terri… -They're my plates, you know.

Out!

-All right, now look. I think-- -[screams]

[laughs] Now look what you've done.

Hey. All right. Let me give you a lift.

Come on. No, no. It will be my pleasure.

-I can walk. -No, no, come on.

I got you.

[Kim grunting]

-Listen, I'll just help you down. -I can walk.

-My head hurts. -Come down here, mate.

Oh, God.

[sighs]

[thunderclap]

Here we go.

[both gasp]

I am not having a good time.

Jesus! She is an incurable star-fucker.

Say what?

The woman we're both in love with.

I'm not in love with her. Not even close.

I've seen the way she looks at you.

It's ''I want you, I don't want you.''

If you want her, just go for it.

I tell you what, man.

You can keep her, okay?

Ah, shit.

I'm going to need stitches.

-Oh, man. -I need a fucking umbrella.

[laughs]

Oh, shit.

Hey…

What do you think of, uh…

What do you think of Australian beer?

Hmm? What do I think of Australian beer?

I think it's fucking good, man!

[laughing]

[Fred] Everything already delivered has been very useful.

We need more of the same. I won't say what or when, as instructed.

You're out of your mind.

You understand now?

100 percent.

I'll never betray your confidence, Mr. Becker.

[telephone ringing]

Look, man, I'm not armaments.

I'm in beverages, okay?

Sure. Sure.

[telephone continues ringing]

-Say who? -[woman 1] Reverse charge from America.

Yeah, sure. I'll accept the charges.

-[woman 2] How's my baby? -Hi, Mom.

-I need to know if-- -Hold on just a second.

Am I gonna get my bag of ice or what?

Y-Yes, sir. Don't get angry, please.

Why don't you write me a post card?

Oh, no, ma'am. I haven't had a minute to myself to send anybody a postcard.

-But don't you realize… -Uh-huh.

…how lonely it is without my boy?

I don't know, Mom. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll call you

as soon as I know when I'll be home for Christmas, okay?

-Are you wearing warm underwear? -Love you, too. Bye-bye.

More of the same?

When you cough up some cash, we can talk, okay?

It was always for free.

Well, not anymore.

We got new guys running the show now,

and they believe in the good, Christian habit of sharing.

-Mm. -How much, uh…

How much are you talking about?

Fifty thousand… cash.

I'll need a few days.

Take your time, take your time.

What the fuck am I doing here?

["Coca-Cola Jingle" by Tim Finn playing]

♪ I don't wanna go Where there's no Coca Cola ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Jump back the tears When there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Under the hot sun When the day is done ♪

♪ And you're dying of thirst ♪

♪ There's only one drink it's universal ♪

♪ I don't wanna go Where there's no Coca Cola ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Jump back the tears When there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat When you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Keeps you up And there's nothing like Coke ♪

Attention, attention. This is your employer speaking.

Most of you have been with the McDowell industry for a good many years.

I put a strong proposition to Coca-Cola and now they are coming to me.

-[man 1] Lunchtime! -[indistinct chattering]

The drink that answers the call of millions!

[man 2] Refreshment time!

-It's a pleasure to see you. -Likewise.

I have brought you a new fleet.

-I can't afford it. -No problem.

You've got a ten-year loan

with payments starting three years from now.

But it says Coca-Cola on the trucks.

-Yes, sir. -[chuckles]

[Becker] Congratulations.

You've got the franchise for Anderson Valley.

It takes two to tango, kid.

[Becker] I took it for granted you could dance.

Ooh, a beauty. .30-30. Winchester, I believe.

Under the scheme we proposed,

you will triple your profit in the first year alone.

I don't need so much.

Well, I wouldn't like to mention the unpleasant possibilities,

such as, uh, someone could buy up all your glass.

I'll stay in business until my last bottle breaks,

then I'll make my own glass.

[chuckles] Well, someone could and believe me, sir,

someone would buy up your entire sugar supply.

I'll grow my own sugar.

Why do you want to break my balls, T. George?

Do you know the shortest speech in the world?

No, sir. Tell me.

If it is to be, it's up to me.

[scoffs] That's nice. You should copyright that.

T. George, your trucks are falling apart.

But the children love them,

and then they also like to see my picture on our cars, our trucks and our outlets.

[McDowell on intercom] And would you be so kind,

to remove your vehicles from my factory?

[man 1] Get out of here! Go on!

[man 2] Come on, mate.

[man 1] Going home, eh? Be seeing ya!

[Terri sobbing]

I'll ask you one last time. [laughs sarcastically]

Do you want the franchise or do you want the fight?

[McDowell] I want to take you to our Rotary dance.

[McDowell] I insisted on him coming here today

to show him that we are Rotarians first,

and competitors second.

Fellowship comes above profit.

-Welcome to Anderson Valley. -[Becker] Thank you.

People of Anderson Valley, fellowship does come about profit, indeed.

Those are stirring words.

We at Coca-Cola have extended our hand in friendship,

but Mr. McDowell has chosen not to accept it.

Well, so be it.

Coca-Cola is proud to be part of life in this free country.

[door creaks]

Every day, Coca-Cola makes new friends in new places.

[man] Anyone for a drink?

Do you know that we have already received applications

for bottling franchises on the moon?

But still, the earth will not be truly free

until Coke is available everywhere.

-[woman] Not for me. -[man] Try a Coke.

My new dear friends of Anderson Valley,

I would like to invite you to join us in worldwide fellowship.

-[man] Have a drink, kid. -Thank you very much.

My boy, a very impressive dissertation.

I haven't heard speechifying like that

since the St. Louis Rotary convention.

Hit it, Charlie.

["Waltzing-Matilda" by Tim Finn playing]

[man singing] ♪ l've got a Coca-Cola for you ♪

♪ Drink it all up ♪

[man 2] No. Not for me.

-[man 1] Coke for you, sir? -[man 3] Not in front of T. George.

♪ Once a jolly swagman Camped by a billabong ♪

♪ Under the shade Of a coolabah tree ♪

♪ And he sang as he sat And waited till his billy boiled ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda Matilda, my darlin ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda Leading a water bag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Along came a jumbuck And he drank from the billabong ♪

l've had a change of heart. I did.

I'd like to talk to you about this proposition of yours.

Anytime.

How about midnight at the factory, eh?

-That would be lovely. -Good. Then it's settled.

♪ Waltzing, Matilda Matilda, my darlin ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda Leading a water bag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Down came the squatter Mounted on his thoroughbred ♪

♪ Down came the troopers One, two, three! ♪

♪ Who's that jolly jumbuck You've got in your tuckerbag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda Matilda, my darlin ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda Leading a water bag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Up jumped the swagman And he leapt into the billabong ♪

♪ You'll never catch me alive Said he ♪

♪ And his ghost will be heard As you pass by the billabong ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me ♪

[footsteps approaching]

[woman moaning]

Jesus Christ!

Okay.

What kept you so long?

What the hell are you doing here?

I was tired.

[mimicking] "I was tired." What the hell are you doing here?

Well, when you asked for volunteers to be Santas, I volunteered.

Who allowed you to volunteer?

Well, I thought it was a chance to pay the old town a visit.

[yawns]

[slams glass down]

Okay, listen.

l did a semester of hotel-motel management,

and hotels and motels are supposed to have two things going for them.

See, first, the customer must feel that no one

has been in the room before them.

This makes people feel like they're walking in to

a hygienic and virginal space.

-And second… -Let's go to bed.

Wait a minute.

And second, and this is the most important.

No one, that is absolutely no one,

should be allowed in the room in the customer's absence.

It is to be treated as one's sanctuary.

But it seems so logical that,

you and I should go to bed.

Look, honey, you know what I mean?

It is getting very late.

You're making this hard.

I hope so.

Jesus Christ, woman! Do not start undressing here.

Put the boot back on.

Let's not be childish.

Put the boot back on.

If we got sex out of the way, we could relax.

[tins clanking]

[camel groaning]

[moaning softly]

I have to tell you something about T. George.

God damn it! T. George.

I was supposed to meet him an hour ago.

Oh, he'd be gone by now.

You can see him in the morning.

[Becker] I guess you're right.

l just didn't want him to change his mind, is all.

He'd never do that.

[Becker] I'll be kind of sorry to see him go,

I mean, he's a stubborn old bastard,

but he runs one hell of a smooth operation.

Mm-hmm.

He was married to a Coca-Cola poster girl, did you know that?

She couldn't take it here, so she killed herself.

Ooh! [chuckles]

Must have been tough on the old bastard.

Shut up.

Kiss me.

[slurps]

-Where is he? -Who, sir?

Who do you think I mean? Father Christmas?

Actually, I've got six staying here at the moment, sir.

I'm talking about that kid from Coca-Cola.

Ah, he's in the regal suite around the corner, sir.

[knocking at door]

-[Becker] Who is it? -[McDowell] It's T. George McDowell.

-[knock at door] -Good morning, Mr. Becker.

I mean, Mr. McDowell.

A few too many at the dance, eh?

Yes, sir. And as you can see the place is a bit of a mess.

You'd probably be much more confident waiting in the lobby, sir.

You didn't come last night.

-Come, sir? -Our appointment.

I waited all night.

My apology. See, well…

To tell you the truth, sir, I have company.

I beg your pardon.

I have company.

Oh! [chuckles]

Well, in that case, uh…

My God, Terri!

There seems to have been an unfortunate collision of circumstances here, sir.

Indeed there has.

I thought you came here for an honorable fight, Mr. Becker.

I didn't expect you to go below the belt.

Ah, leave him alone, Dad.

I came of my own accord to save you from him.

Or him from you. I don't know which anymore.

-What? -I-I don't know.

-[waiter] Your champagne, sir.

There is good authority for the proposition

that the child knows no affection for the parent.

Oh, cut the crap, Dad.

[cork pops]

Give it to him.

I've always loved you, damn it!

In spite of everything.

[McDowell] You're just like your mother.

She never understood the importance of my work.

Your work? You never cared about anyone but yourself.

Now, look, that's not true.

Now, please. When I go you'll have everything I own.

Don't bother leaving it to me. I'd only give it away.

Please, Terri. Terri!

You're not going to leave me now, are you?

Child owes no natural affection to the parent.

[man] Good news! The kids love it.

[man 2] One of the teachers had one.

[man 3] They threw me out.

[man 4] Good bye, sir.

[man 5] We've got them, boss.

You know something?

I haven't seen my daughter for seven years.

I'm sorry, Mr. McDowell.

[Frank] Thank you, Doris.

Seems you made the front page today.

[Frank] Mmm.

What are we celebrating?

That was a bit unorthodox.

Well, l guess if you want to break an omelet,

you've got to lay a few eggs.

Congratulations.

[keys jingling]

See you, Frank.

Did this McDowell guy die?

Got nothing to do with me, mate.

-But you owe me 60 cents, eh? -Uh-huh.

Two papers.

Don't think I'll be able to change a 20, though.

It's okay.

[reporter on TV] Mr. McDowell said recently…

[McDowell on TV] It's not how many square miles

that makes the country great,

heh, it's how many square people.

[reporter] Last night in Anderson Valley,

the McDowell soft drink factory was burned to the ground.

As the buildings blazed, Mr. McDowell successfully blocked factory entrances

to the fire brigade and told police to leave,

claiming the right to do what he wanted with his own property.

Mr. McDowell has left the stage with a resounding bang.

[airplane engine roaring]

May I speak?

No.

This is for you.

We're very pleased.

I gave your name to my group leader, and you can get us the stuff.

I tell you what you do, huh?

You get my name back from your leader, okay?

l am not ClA. l am not AT&T.

l am not TWA. l am not lBM.

I'm not even Coca-Cola anymore.

Fruit and flowers. Man!

The other half on delivery.

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

[indistinct chatter on radio]

-[man] Hey, want a lift? -Thank you, man.

[cockatoo squawks]

-[man] There you go, mate. -Thanks.

Hi, Coca-Cola kid.

-How you doing, DMZ? -Good.

Where's your mama?

She's gone looking for a job. We're broke.

What's in the funny bag?

A surprise.

It's not real.

It is too. Every bit of it.

Mouse!

What's its name?

Guess?

Mickey?

Rebecca?

Rebecca?

We've got a new tenant, Mommy.

Can I offer you something?

Coffee? Tea?

Yes, please.

["Home For My Heart" playing]

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A place where I'll be safe And warm ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ Down the alleyways and off the street ♪

♪ Restless people wander to the beat ♪

♪ Of a discontented drum ♪

♪ Keeping time 'til morning comes ♪

♪ Living in a world that's hard and cold ♪

♪ Searching for a way back to before ♪

♪ Slippers by the fire side ♪

♪ A welcome on a winter's night ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A place where I'll be safe And warm ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A meadow for my soul to roam ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart Yeah ♪

♪ Everything is foreign to these eyes ♪

♪ A destination always out of reach ♪

♪ I'm homesick for the place I've been ♪

♪ Only in my wildest dreams ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A place where I'll be safe And warm ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A meadow for my soul to roam ♪

♪ Home I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ I'm looking for a home ♪

♪ Im looking for a home ♪

♪ A meadow for my soul to roam ♪