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Hey, Matteo!
Did you hear that Lou's been letting me stay here
when my mom works nights?
Yeah, I heard you were in Gwen's old bed.
I think we found all the booby traps she left behind.
But just in case,
try not to toss and turn.
Well, I wanna repay Lou
by being the camp superhero,
and I need your help.
Sure. Anything.
Teach me Jujutsu.
Anything but that.
Come on. I need you to train me.
I heard you were a Jujutsu master.
That's not true.
I'm a fourth degree master.
But I don't do Jujutsu anymore.
Please. I really need to up my superhero game.
You know, I do have other areas of expertise
that might be useful in your superhero endeavors.
Like... science.
That sounds like...
homework.
If you didn't wanna help me, fine.
And to think I was gonna make you my sidekick.
Parker, Noah, I need your help.
Oh, no. What did Finn do this time?
Shall I grab the mop or the tranquilizer darts?
Or both? It's always both.
It's not Finn... for once.
There's a contest going on
down at the Moose Rump bait shop in Popcorn Emporium
and the owner is giving away a boat.
A bait slash popcorn store
is doing so well they can give away a boat,
but my air conditioned hat store failed?
Not cool.
Just like my highly flammable hats.
Winning a boat would be great
since our old one is a goner.
Yeah. Duct tape and gum
could only keep her seaworthy for so long.
Noah, I have high hopes
that you can win that boat for us.
[CLEARS THROAT] What about me?
Much lower hope.
But I couldn't enter Noah in the contest
without adult supervision,
so keep up the good work of being 18 or older.
Come on. Why don't you think I can win the boat?
Name one reason.
Okay, well, let's see, um... [GASPS]
How about every single thing
you've said or done since you arrived at camp?
Okay. Name two reasons.
[WHISTLES]
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka!
Hey, Lou, a friend of mine wants to come visit today.
Is that okay? You can say no.
I don't wanna put you on the spot.
[GASPS] I did, didn't I?
I'll tell her she can't come. Thanks, Lou.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Of course, she can come.
Why are you being so weird?
[SIGHS] It's just...
Claire and I both grew up in clown families
that worked for the same traveling circus.
Claire is still in it.
They're actually nearby in Mooseface.
What? Mooseface gets all the cool stuff.
First, they teach a dog how to drive
and now this?
Claire and I used to have our clown act.
Our job was to distract the audience
when one of the Flying Zambolies
fell off the trapeze.
Which happened a lot.
Grandpa Zambolie had very sweaty palms.
She sounds great.
Why would you think I wouldn't want her to visit?
Because when I tell you she's into clowning...
[HORN BLOWS]
Howdy, y'all. Who's ready to get silly?
I mean, she's very into clowning.
Oh, yay! A clown.
Let me know when your friend gets here.
Hey, Nadine!
Talk to the cape, mister.
Listen, I understand the superhero stuff is important to you,
and I really think science can help.
[GRUNTS ANNOYINGLY] Name one thing science has ever helped.
One thing?
Cool down, Matteo.
You promised you'd never talk about science angry.
You know what I mean?
Science can't help me be a superhero.
Are you sure?
Because I used it to make... this.
Ooh!
Matteo away!
Whoo!
Whoa! Teach me your ways, Mr. Science.
MATTEO: Mr. Science forgot he's afraid of heights!
Okay, here are your name tags
and wear these gloves.
Once the contest starts,
you have to place one hand on the boat
and don't take it off until you're the last one standing.
What are the gloves for?
Well, this boat was in the Moose Rump River.
It protects you from getting Rump River rash.
But just in case,
if your left cheek starts tingling,
it's probably too late.
Wait. All I have to do is hold onto this boat
longer than anybody else?
And you don't think I can manage that? Pfft!
I'll show you.
This hand won't budge from this boat
till it's yours, Lou.
Sure it won't. [CHUCKLES]
Oh. Bye, guys.
Bye, Lou.
I'm waving with my not budging boat hand, aren't I?
Yeah, good luck.
I feel good about this.
None of these people seem like much of a threat.
Hi, you loser.
[SHOUTING] Barb!
So Kikiwaka's here, huh?
I hope you don't expect to win this boat
for your sorry camp, Nolan.
It's Noah.
I know, but those are the type of mind games
you can expect from me all day long.
Why are you even here?
Camp Champion already has a fleet of boats.
Yeah, but we need a crummy boat
to sink with our new cannon. Duh!
Noah, who is this intense, confrontational woman?
I'm Barb Barca,
director of Camp Champion and... Hold up.
You're Parker Preston of the Canadian Prestons.
Sure I am. Well, formerly of the Canadian Prestons.
Currently of the loud American Kikiwakas.
You're working for Lou? Why?
Sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Why?
Because Lou runs a camp
where kids are nurtured with fun and caring.
[RETCHES] Gross.
Well, however it happened,
I hope Lou realizes how lucky she is to have a Preston
involved with her camp.
That's what I said.
Maybe a Preston can actually
help her level that dump up.
That's also what I said.
Well, not the dump part.
But if we're being honest...
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Hey, do not giggle with her.
Well, I gotta sign in.
Nice to meet you, Parker.
Nolan.
Ah, she is nice.
No, she is not.
She's our own personal Iago.
-Who? -She's bad news.
Read some Shakespeare, man.
[HORN BLARES]
And so it begins.
Is it bad I already have to go to the bathroom?
Whipped cream all over her face.
And that's the story of how Destiny threw a pie at me
but accidentally hit the world's oldest woman!
She was at the circus. She knew the risks.
Destiny, I can't believe all the super cool,
embarrassing things you and Claire did.
Yes, well, enough reminiscing.
Now that you're here, I wanna show you all the fun stuff
we do at camp.
Wanna go for a nature hike?
Ooh! A hike in the woods?
That sounds dangerous.
We might run into some...
snakes! [LAUGHS]
Again. Again.
Uh... I know. We could go
for a swim in the lake instead.
You want me to go for a swim? In this?
I'll sink right to the bottom.
Clearly, I thought you would take off all the clown gear.
What fun is that?
You never need less clown. You always need more clown.
Which is why you should...
I know what you're thinking.
But I don't have my clown stuff at camp.
Oh, drats.
Actually, I think Lou held on to the stuff
you and Gwen used in your clown show last summer.
Thanks, Finn.
[MUFFLED] You're welcome, Destiny.
Why are we talking like this?
So let's get you clowned up.
Oh, I don't know.
Come on, D. Just like old times, please.
Who's ready to get silly?
Okay. This is a smokescreen capsule.
Throw it down to break the container
and it releases a smoky gas
that allows you to escape any situation.
And this capsule
releases a knockout gas that
can harmlessly subdue an enemy.
Look at you, Science.
You tricky little scamp.
Matteo, why did Candace just tell me
she had to cut you down from the mess hall rafters?
You weren't using your grappling gun again, were you?
Uh...
Don't worry. I got you.
Smokescreen.
Uh, that's the knockout...
Why do I come in here?
Man, it's been hours, and no one looks like they're ready to drop.
I got an idea of how to get rid of some
of these backwoods yokels.
No offense, Bob.
But it is rude to eavesdrop, Bob.
All right. Let's try something to pass the time.
Okay. We can roast Nolan.
It's Noah!
I'm so in your head.
How about we all try a little dance I cooked up?
We can do it right next to the boat.
Everyone follow along.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Let's do a dance from me to you
♪ Look, it's the Parker, but part two
♪ First everybody find a beat
♪ Then boys and girls stomp your feet
♪ Swing your hips round and round
♪ Then shimmy those feet up and down
♪ If you're like me and you hate to stand
♪ Come on, everybody
♪ Clap your hands!
And stop.
If you clapped, you lost.
Bye-bye. Get out of here.
But also check out my music online.
Way to go, Parker.
You just eliminated half the competition.
Impressive.
Finally, someone from Camp Kikiwaka
who isn't a stinking dud.
-[LAUGHS] Thanks, Barb. -Parker!
I mean, watch what you say about Kikiwaka, but thanks.
Wow! What's going on here?
Just having fun with Claire.
It's like the old clown saying,
"If you can't be them, honk, honk, slide whistle."
Clowns aren't known for wordplay.
We just came from the archery range.
You guys shot arrows dressed like that?
Well, we didn't use arrows, we used pies.
And we didn't use targets...
we used...
This day couldn't get any better.
And later, we're putting whoopee cushions all around camp.
I stand corrected.
Destiny. Any plans to do normal camp things during Claire's visit?
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Why would we? I'm having the best time!
I don't know why my voice is so high.
I know what we should do next.
Let's find something fun to juggle!
Wait for me.
I know where Luke keeps the chain saws.
Why didn't I just stay unconscious?
Since chemistry didn't work out,
I thought this ultrasonic pulsar
might be useful for a superhero.
Cool. Where do the lasers shoot out?
There are no lasers.
Next.
No. Listen.
This emits a high frequency tone
that can incapacitate your enemies.
Except this time, you're going to learn everything about it
before you use it.
Now, let's begin.
And that concludes chapter seven, setting the date and time.
All right, can I use it now?
Oh, no, no, no, no. We're just taking a pop quiz break.
So, pop on over to my cabin and grab your quiz. [GIGGLES]
Who says learning can't be fun?
[HIGH-PITCHED WHINING][BOTH GROANING]
No.
[WHINING STOPS] Yeah. [PANTING]
Nadine!
The manual said to never turn the pulsar all the way up.
Sorry. I must have zoned out by then.
It was on page one.
We're done here.
Clearly, you aren't ready to handle science.
You have zero discipline.
Now, please turn me in the direction of my cabin.
I can't see anything, but I'm ready to storm off.
Thank you.
We're close, I can feel it.
I hope you're right. I'm getting shaky legs.
Humans weren't meant to survive this long without chairs.
I think I can speed this along.
Hey, Bob. Is this your family?
You have two great daughters.
But it looks like you're missing Jackie's swim meet
and Liv's basketball game.
Your girls need you,
and you can't walk a boat down the aisle, Bob.
[LAUGHS] All Bob wins is the love of his children.
Sucker!
Wow, Barb. Nice work.
At this rate, it will be down to me versus you in no time.
Yeah. Too bad, though.
We make a great team, but the two best competitors
were bound to face off eventually.
I'm standing right here.
I'm sorry, Noah. I just really want to be the one
to win this boat for Lou, so that I can prove to her
that I can do great things for this camp.
Wow.
Sounds like Lou doesn't appreciate you.
Oh, that's not true. Just the other day,
she said, "I'd appreciate you leaving me alone right now."
Yeah, I guess that doesn't count.
Listen, Parker, if you're unhappy at Camp Kikiwaka,
I'm actually looking for a new assistant camp director.
No chance, Barb.
We laugh at the ridiculous offer. Ha-ha-ha.
Laugh at the offer with me, Parker.
Ha-ha-ha.
But just to be clear, am I laughing at a camp with an omelet bar?
Two.
I'll be covering arts and crafts on Ava's day off.
So if your projects don't come out great,
expect lesser judgment and more "fudgement." [CHUCKLES]
Just to be clear, I was trying to mash together fun and judgment.
There will be no fudge.
Whoo-hoo!
Hip hip hooray! Hi![BICYCLE HORN HONKING]
Oh. I see the clown thing is still happening. Cool, cool.
If you guys are gonna be here, can you please take a seat?
Sure thing.
Where do you want me to take it?
Tough crowd.
On your tables are all the supplies to make mobiles.
You'll need two hangers, yarn, beads...
[IMITATES SNEEZING]
[LAUGHTER]
Feathers.
Golly gee!
You need a hanky.
Or two, or three, or a million.
"Buy the camp," the Rosses said. "It will be fun," they said.
Hey, hoobly dooblies!
[HONKING]
Oh, dear heavens, it's contagious.
Nice juggling.
You are on fire!
I better get something to put her out.
Okay. Okay, that's it.
We've had our fun. Let's get back to making mobile...
This ought to put out that fire.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Destiny.
We'll see ourselves out.
[FARTING]
I forgot I put this here.
Is Claire in here?
No. She's filling up a seltzer bottle.
You may wanna carry an umbrella today.
What is going on with you, Destiny?
You ruined arts and crafts.
Plus, you're bringing out the worst in Finn
and nobody needs Finn's worst.
I'm so sorry, Lou.
It's just Claire was having so much fun.
Are you having fun?
I thought you didn't even like clowning anymore.
But Claire does.
So we always end up doing clown stuff when we get together.
Maybe because...
it's the only thing we ever had in common.
Oh, Destiny.
I think it's time we had a little heart to...
[FART]
Touche, Finn.
Come on, talk to me.
Claire was my first best friend.
When my family left the circus and I had to say bye to her,
it crushed me.
This is how we reconnect.
And if I don't clown,
maybe Claire won't wanna be my friend anymore.
But this isn't you, Destiny.
If you have to pretend to be a different person
for someone, that isn't a true friendship.
You're right.
I should talk to Claire.
You should.
Then please talk to Finn.
He's still clowning around camp,
and now he's making balloon animals for everyone.
The only thing is, he doesn't know
you have to blow them up first.
This was supposed to be a giraffe.
♪ Sixty-two bottles of rejuvenating hand cream on the wall ♪
♪ Sixty-two bottles...
Parker. Shh. Look.
[SNORING]
Yes. Now it's down to two on one.
But which camp has two?
Parker? Did you decide anything about my offer yet?
You wanna be a Champion?
Well...
Parker.
You can't seriously be considering this.
Everyone at Camp Kikiwaka loves you.
I'm sorry you feel like Lou doesn't appreciate you,
and I know being a Preston probably means you didn't have to earn a lot,
but the Prestons also sent you packing.
Lou's been there for you.
Noah, I'm sorry.
It's just been too hard trying to earn Lou's respect.
Barb gets me.
Barb, if that assistant camp director job is still open...
It is. I've literally been standing next to you all day not filling it.
Then I'd appreciate a position where I feel appreciated.
Deal?
Actually, no deal. [LAUGHS]
What?
I just wanted you to let go of the boat,
so that Noah would win. Bye-bye.
I win?
I win!
But most importantly, Barb loses.
Huh. Barb lost to Nolan. Wait, Noah.
Stupid mind games.
I really do appreciate the offer, Barb, but I'm happy where I'm at.
Sorry, I had to be so deceitful.
Shh! Hush, my Canadian prince.
Never apologize for such an admirable trait.
I look forward to destroying you one day.
See ya, chumps.
You didn't really think I'd take Barb's offer, did you?
Not for a second.
Actually, for a lot of seconds.
Are you re-reading the pulsar manual?
What can I say? It's a page turner.
This appendix is suspenseful.
I'm sorry, Matteo.
I know I messed up.
I just got so excited when you showed me all those neat things.
Yeah. Science can really get the blood pumping.
But those neat things aren't the answer.
There is something more important you need
if you wanna become a good superhero.
Childhood trauma?
No. Discipline.
And the best way to teach you discipline is...
And I can't believe I'm going to say this.
...with Jujutsu.
You're finally going to teach me how to kick butt?
More importantly,
I'm going to teach you the discipline to not kick butt.
And once you have discipline, you can use it as a foundation
to become a superhero or a scientist,
or even just a kid who doesn't accidentally
knock her friends unconscious.
I understand. And I'm ready.
Good.
And remember,
with great power comes great responsibility.
Whoa.
Did you just make that up?
Yes.
Where's your clown gear?
Those pants don't look very seltzer friendly!
Yeah, about that...
The thing is, I don't really like clowning anymore.
I haven't for a while.
I just do it so we'll have fun together.
Wait, you don't have fun with me?
I do! Just in spite of the clowning.
The truth is,
I always hoped that our friendship
will grow into other things, like I did.
But I can't keep pretending,
even if it means you don't want to be friends anymore.
Destiny.
This goes against everything I believe in.
But...
don't be silly.
Really?
Sure, we were both clowns.
But that's not why you're my friend.
You're a smart, caring person
and you're fun, with or without the rainbow wig.
So you'd be cool
if we took a break from all this clown stuff?
Of course.
And, you know,
I'm into other things besides clowning, too.
I'm also into fire eating, tightrope walking,
and on the weekend...
getting shot out of a cannon.
Yep, you've really branched out.
I should've just talked about all this a long time ago.
From now on, let's always be honest with each other.
Agreed.
Can you give me a second?
I need to do something for Lou.
Finn, we really need to talk.
[FARTING]
I will be so glad
when all those whoopee cushions are out of camp.
That wasn't a whoopee cushion.
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