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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:03,128 upbeat music 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,340 It's Showtime tonight 3 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:09,926 [Keith] Previously on Black Monday... 4 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:10,969 [yells] 5 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,554 Ms. Nomi Maldana, 6 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,514 our latest signing to KokoMo Co Records. 7 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,475 And your fiancée. We're getting hitched, y'all. 8 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,268 Yeah. 9 00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,602 [Harris] At some point in your life, 10 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:22,439 you stopped caring about anybody but yourself. 11 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,025 From now on, I'm gonna be good and true. 12 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:28,194 How about unlimited power, sex, and money? 13 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,988 A million dollars went missing from the company last night. 14 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,949 Political donations are a legitimate business expense. 15 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,617 Fuck it, I'm through. Whoo! Whoo! 16 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,712 Ooh, baby, baby 17 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,005 Baby, baby 18 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,090 Ooh, baby, baby 19 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,633 Baby, baby 20 00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:51,384 Get up on this 21 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:54,387 Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It" 22 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,849 upbeat electronic music 23 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,018 Pssh, ah, push it! 24 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:02,729 [sniffs] 25 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:08,902 Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby pop 26 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,404 Yeah, you, come here, give me a kiss 27 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,491 Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed 28 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,910 Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard 29 00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,578 Like I wish you would? 30 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,038 Now push it 31 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,666 Push it good 32 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,212 Push it real good! 33 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,464 [grunts, shudders] 34 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,716 [laughter] 35 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,260 [all cheering] 36 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,221 Ah, push it 37 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,976 Nancy, hello. Good to see you. 38 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:45,021 Don't work too hard. Hey, Diane. 39 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,147 Get up on this 40 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,483 Push-push-push it, push it 41 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:51,528 [retching] 42 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:54,989 [groans, coughs] 43 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,533 We can't afford this. 44 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:59,202 Okay, I am the one they call "Jeansus." 45 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,830 Okay, well then call me "Jew-das." 46 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,248 Emphasis on the Jew, okay? 47 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,375 That's what I've been calling you behind your back. 48 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,001 [accordion playing funeral march on stereo] 49 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:07,919 What the-- 50 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,755 -Fuck is this? -Ooh, boy. 51 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:18,805 Tiff. 52 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,809 -Tiff. -[Tiff] Baby girl. 53 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,310 Wow. 54 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,854 That's enough, Dustin. 55 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,147 [Tiff] I am so sorry. 56 00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:29,649 I can't imagine what it's like to lose a father 57 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,900 who didn't kidnap you. 58 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,069 Pastor was an amazing man. 59 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:36,072 Yeah, well, at least he's with God now. 60 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,825 And Jesus, right? Was Jesus up there too? 61 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,786 I-I know there's a third one. Uh, is it ghost? 62 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,163 Silence, usurper. 63 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:46,082 Corkie, if there's absolutely anything you need, 64 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,542 please, just say the word. 65 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,877 The word. 66 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,129 [laughing] 67 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,673 Sorry, you have to laugh in times like these. 68 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:54,674 Yeah. 69 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,050 Tiff, could I ask you 70 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:59,512 to take care of the pastor's funeral? 71 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,346 I can't. 72 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,932 Of course, of course. I would love to. 73 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,268 Daddy left very detailed instructions, 74 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:08,021 and his funeral must rival the King of Kings himself. 75 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:11,065 Oh, a giant stone to roll in front of his tomb 76 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,483 -à la Christ the King. -Okay. 77 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,736 A gold casket à la Tut the King. 78 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:17,864 NDAs for his affairs à la Martin Luther the King. 79 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,200 Chicken à la King. Wow. 80 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,493 Well, at least the church is sending him off in style. 81 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,038 Oh, as if. The church is completely broke. 82 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,832 Turns out living in a jet that never lands adds up. 83 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:28,750 Sure. 84 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:29,959 But we've been doing so well. 85 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,252 It shouldn't be a problem, right, Tiff? 86 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,714 I'm sorry, you expect Pfaffashions to pay for this? 87 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,673 I spent a lot of time 88 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,217 getting this company ready to go public, 89 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,969 and we can't be seen spending money on a funeral like this. 90 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,179 The Street is gonna go crazy. 91 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,806 Blessfully, it's not up to you. It's up to the board. 92 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:47,769 Tiff, me, Daddy--whose vote I now control--you, and Larry. 93 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,562 All those in favor? 94 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,399 -Opposed? -Yeah, fucking nay. 95 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:57,320 Ooh, it looks like nay is for horses, Keith. 96 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,780 [both laughing] 97 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,449 Uh, not that funny. Okay. 98 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,909 -You're right. -No. 99 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,118 We do have to laugh. 100 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,245 -You have to laugh. -We have to laugh! 101 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,246 [Corkie] Especially when it's hard. 102 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,288 Why don't we laugh 103 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,706 and then not spend the cash? 104 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:09,666 How 'bout that? 105 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,792 Tiff, thank you. 106 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,543 Keith, fudge you. 107 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,920 [sobs] 108 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,213 [funeral march resumes] 109 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,798 [Corkie sobbing] 110 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:17,757 What the fuck, Tiff? 111 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,134 This is corporate suicide and actual murder. 112 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,470 When Larry finds out about this, he's going to kill me. 113 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,097 I have tried to tell you this, Keith: 114 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:25,682 this is my company, 115 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,017 and if I wanna use my money on a roast 116 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,770 of Allah à la Alan King, then I will. 117 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:31,854 What the fuck is that? 118 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:33,731 I think it's like a Friars Club roast 119 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:34,899 of the Muslim god Allah. 120 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:38,069 I can't believe she expects me to do all this by Saturday. 121 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,822 Cork, Corks, Corksie. 122 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,573 Corkie! 123 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,868 upbeat percussive music 124 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,166 How you doing, Mo? 125 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,210 What's that supposed to me-- mean? 126 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,462 [coughing] You see what you-- 127 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,298 [coughing] Made me do, Dawn? Fuck. 128 00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:00,425 Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 129 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,510 I didn't wake up on any side of any bed, okay? 130 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,263 I'll have you know I was up having sex all night, so. 131 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,973 Mm, well, cool. 132 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,892 So again, how are you doing, Mo? 133 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,561 Never better. [laughs] 134 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:14,564 Woman I love, check. Job I love, check. 135 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,025 Form of payment I receive for royalties 136 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,318 for the woman I love song I love 137 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,361 at the job I love, check. 138 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,071 Whoever said a man can't have it all? 139 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,325 Uh, literally no one ever. 140 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:26,534 It just seems to me like you're having 141 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,078 a little trouble keeping up with Nomi. 142 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,164 What? Why would you say that? 143 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,582 'Cause your dye's running faster 144 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:35,460 than Flo-Jo, Bootsy Collins. 145 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,253 Oh, shit. 146 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,380 [Mo] Okay, one joke, two icons. Pretty good there. 147 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,340 Thank you. 148 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:41,924 Don't you worry about that, okay? 149 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:42,925 And don't worry about this. 150 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,344 It's just a little nagging injury 151 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:46,304 that I got when I Bruce Leroyed the Leighman Brothers' door. 152 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,680 Look, I know everybody out there thinks that I robbed 153 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,350 the cradle, but you are only as old as you feel. 154 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,517 And I feel absolutely-- 155 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,394 Hey, boss. I got all that stuff you asked for. 156 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,772 Coke to stay up, vikes to stay upright, 157 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,649 dick pills to stay hard, and Ex-Lax to stay soft. 158 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,819 Dawn, did you know our man is constipated? 159 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,405 -Yes! I can see it in his eyes. -Jaundice. 160 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,240 Why don't you get the fuck out, Yasshole. 161 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,077 Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 162 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,328 I was having sex all night! 163 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,206 Look, Mo, there's no shame in admitting that you and Nomi 164 00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:15,375 are in different stages of life 165 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,085 and digestive regularity. 166 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,295 We're in the exact same stage, okay? 167 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,797 That's the honeymoon stage. 168 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,049 -Don't worry, I'm doing great. -Okay, fine. 169 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,218 Dawn. [laughs] 170 00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,303 Just the person I wanted to see. 171 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,763 We're having an engagement dinner... 172 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,848 -Mm-hmm. -Saturday at 11:00. You in? 173 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,894 Oh, for sure, but isn't 11:00 more like an engagement brunch? 174 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,187 [laughs] 175 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,232 11:00 p.m., Mee-maw. This one. 176 00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:40,817 I know you're used to the early bird special 177 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,403 -'cause you're old as shit. -That'll do. 178 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,531 Okay. Okay. Well, love you. 179 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,574 [Mo] Love you. 180 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,327 Ah! Fuck! 181 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,537 God damn it! 182 00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,958 Brushing your chompers, huh? 183 00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,292 Uh-huh. 184 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,336 [gruff voice] The old pearly whites. 185 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:03,423 -[chuckles] -Nice. 186 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,341 How's the funeral planning going? 187 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:08,636 Ugh. Corkie is a real diedzilla. 188 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,929 Oh! 189 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,098 [laughs] 190 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,641 Tiff. 191 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,144 Oh, I'm having a bear of a week myself, 192 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,688 and it's not even hump day. [groans] 193 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:21,691 But I guess they call me the "it boy" not the "sit boy." 194 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,276 Just got back-to-backs all morning. 195 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,485 And tomorrow, I have to give 196 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,113 the Medal of Freedom to a police dog. 197 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,823 And then Saturday, I have 198 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,783 Pastor Swafford's funeral, and-- 199 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,077 Was that a spit take or just run-of-the-mill tooth brushing? 200 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,663 -That's insane. -The police dog? I know. 201 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:36,747 But he was the only cop 202 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,166 we could be sure wasn't a white supremacist. 203 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:41,586 No, Corkie will freak out at me if you show up at that funeral. 204 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,838 She's already pissed that I let Keith take over the company, 205 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,382 and he's pissed that we're paying for this thing. 206 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,717 Why would Corkie be mad at me? 207 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,136 I shot her dad's TV, not her dad. 208 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,387 You fucked her husband to death. 209 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,598 -Okay. -It's bad. 210 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,808 But that's exactly why I have to be there. 211 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,352 His death has stirred up all of my old scandals, 212 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,271 and the RNC feels like the best way 213 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,689 to reassure my religious base 214 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,400 is to give a very moving eulogy. 215 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,736 There's no confusion on that one. 216 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:09,155 [Tiff] They want you to give the eulogy? 217 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,448 I mean, that is even more insane 218 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,116 than how many cops are white supremacists. 219 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,577 Not really, when you consider the American policing system 220 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,913 was initially designed to protect white property owners. 221 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,998 Okay, Blair. [groans] 222 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,000 Do you think I want to do this? 223 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,629 The last time I took the stage, I took a bullet. 224 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,672 And that was before two people very close to me 225 00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:29,967 were killed under mysterious circumstances. 226 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:34,013 I'm afraid if I don't do this, I might be next. 227 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,848 The RNC is very scary. 228 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,226 Well, then maybe it's for the best. 229 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,187 Maybe it's time to just walk away. 230 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,192 -Please let me do a tight five. -No! 231 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,194 I'll open, I'll close. I'll host. 232 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,613 I won't middle because you've gotta draw the line somewhere. 233 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,199 I'm sorry, I have three days to plan a dream funeral. 234 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,784 So unless you know what color coffin skirt 235 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:56,244 goes with a gold casket then-- 236 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,038 -American flag. -Thank you. Thank you. 237 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,373 upbeat music 238 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,543 Well, if it isn't the six million doll hair man. 239 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:06,295 My plugs looks great and you know it, Congressman Fuck Face. 240 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,005 You look like a Chia Pet cemetery. 241 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,341 Yeah, well, you-- you look like a fuck face. 242 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,634 Do you just come up with these on the spot? 243 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,635 And what's going on? I thought we had 244 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,469 a nice moment the other night. 245 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,929 Oh, yeah, I can't keep track 246 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,473 of all of these shifting dynamics. 247 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,017 Um, how is all of that going for you? 248 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,687 Been going to Housecat a lot, you know, try to reconnect 249 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:23,729 -with Mike and-- -[clucking] 250 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,439 Okay, I need you to convince Corkie 251 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,149 to let me give her dad's eulogy. 252 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,402 What? How? Why? 253 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:30,987 Because I'll give back the million dollars 254 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:33,906 of company money Tiff donated to my campaign. 255 00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,451 Wow, am I really in the business 256 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,703 of selling eulogies now? 257 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:39,870 You've carved out quite a nice little corner 258 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,205 of the world for yourself, there, Keith. 259 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:44,208 Well, if the Catholic church can sell tickets to heaven, 260 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,751 you got a deal. 261 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,963 -Ho! -I was gonna do that. 262 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,631 I was gonna do that. 263 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:54,093 -[Dawn] Mo! -I'm back here. 264 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,261 Room on the right. 265 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,721 [Dawn] Whose fucking house is this? 266 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,889 And what the fuck is up with that cast? 267 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,642 Do you ever just be doing normal shit like reading? 268 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,478 Ugh, apparently, I "aggravated my injury" 269 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,772 because of my "reckless behavior," 270 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,941 and now I have a condition called "shin crumble" 271 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,486 which is threatening my ability to have two legs "long-term" 272 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,363 because I treated my walking cast 273 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,365 "like a joke" and my doctor's instructions 274 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,825 as if they were "in air quotes," so. 275 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,744 Well, you know what? At least now, you have to rest 276 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,537 'cause there's no hiding this shit from Nomi. 277 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,247 Oh, really? 278 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,999 [clears throat] 279 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,418 Twinsies. 280 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,711 -[sighs] -[groans] 281 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,171 Fine, look, maybe you were right. 282 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,715 Maybe Nomi and I are in different stages of our life. 283 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,758 Wait, is that what this is? 284 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,968 Did you buy this house for her? 285 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,428 Oh, my God, Mo, you've known her 286 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,388 for, like, nine days. 287 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,890 Well, when you know, you know. You know? 288 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,017 Yeah, but does she know about this house? 289 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,852 Eh--I-- 290 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,646 -I wanted to surprise her. -[scoffs] 291 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,022 But then I started worrying that, you know, 292 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,232 maybe this isn't what she wants right now. 293 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,068 I don't know. 294 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:52,985 It is dope. 295 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,321 -[Mo] It could be, right? -Yeah. Oh, my God. 296 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,907 Once you fix it up. 297 00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:00,826 It's crazy, this is the exact street 298 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,787 that I told you I always wanted to live on. 299 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,332 -Yeah, I don't remember that. -Is that a painting of me? 300 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:09,168 Mm-mm. No. 301 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,837 It literally says "Dawn" on it. 302 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,382 -Yeah? -Give me a second, 303 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,008 the pain meds are... 304 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:20,179 uh, yeah, that's Telma Hopkins from the band Dawn, obviously. 305 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,598 Mo, I cannot believe 306 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,350 how much she looks like me. 307 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:27,478 Yeah, it's unbelievable. Hey, me, me. 308 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,146 [Dawn] Oh, yes, I'm sorry. 309 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,189 Okay, look, um, 310 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,401 you just have to be up-front with her before the wedding. 311 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,236 You know, you'll reach a compromise. 312 00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,654 Or... 313 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,365 at the very least, you'll realize it wasn't meant to be. 314 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,616 Either way, I don't know, 315 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,368 it's better to know the day before 316 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,869 than the day after. 317 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,996 Trust me, you know, I... [sighs] 318 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,582 I wish I'd have known way sooner that-- 319 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,292 Spencer was in a different world. 320 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,585 You know, he does look a lot 321 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,379 like an older version of Dwayne Wayne. 322 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,588 Hmm? 323 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,007 No, I meant a different world than where I come from. 324 00:11:57,049 --> 00:12:00,219 Oh, one in which you weren't constantly cheating on him. 325 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,429 Yeah, with you. 326 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,180 -Well, still. -[scoffs] 327 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,807 Well, are you gonna talk to her or not? 328 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,600 -Yes. Thank you. -You're welcome. 329 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,769 Hey, can you make me a sandwich? 330 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,479 Fine. What do you want? 331 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,856 You to go to the grocery store 332 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,150 and get everything to make me a sandwich. 333 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:17,111 Now do you see why building a rig to fly the casket 334 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:20,156 over the church is time- and cost-prohibitive? 335 00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,158 I have to say, Tiff, I don't see it. 336 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:22,992 Okay. Really? 337 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,368 A heavy casket with your father in it? 338 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,828 Just some sort of a pulley system, or... 339 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,079 [Keith] What would you say 340 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,165 if I could give the pastor everything he wanted 341 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,041 and save your church in the process? 342 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,794 Oh, well, I'd say, what do I have to do? 343 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:34,962 Just let little old Keithy 344 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,797 take care of the funeral arrangements. 345 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,632 You had me at "let little old Keithy 346 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,259 take care of the funeral arrangements." 347 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,928 That was literally the last thing that I said. 348 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,097 Bye. Bye, Corkie. It's been real. 349 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:45,765 Oh, free! 350 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,016 She's really running. 351 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,851 She kinda does that in stressful situations. 352 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,770 Okay. Let's take a look here, 353 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:53,147 uh, at your binder. 354 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,150 All right, so food, obviously, a big thing. 355 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,402 -Do we wanna do food? -Absolutely. 356 00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,904 I think Daddy said he'd like 357 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,491 to start off with filet mignon for apps. 358 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,784 -For apps? -Yes. 359 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,994 We have, uh, what, 35,000 people in attendance? 360 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,706 That's a rough estimate. Anywhere between 35 and 40. 361 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,541 -Thousand. -Thousand. 362 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,503 Okay, uh... 363 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,796 You ever have a Steak-umm? 364 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:19,924 upbeat music 365 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,468 Ah. 366 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,474 Nine o'clock? 367 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,311 Ahh! 368 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,938 [knock at door] 369 00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:36,732 [knocking continues] 370 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,984 What time is it? 371 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,489 [Dawn] Uh, what the fuck? 372 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,658 Ma'am. 373 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:47,993 You didn't tell Nomi the truth, did you? 374 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,203 No, I didn't tell her. 375 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,622 I was going to, but instead, I sawed off my cast, 376 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,792 and now I have something called, uh, powder foot. 377 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,919 What the fuck is wrong with you, Mo? 378 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,712 -Huh? -I love her, okay? 379 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,047 I don't wanna lose her. 380 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,675 I know my old ass has no business being with her. 381 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,594 Come on, you said you wanted to be friends, so prove it. 382 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,680 I cannot show up at my own engagement party 383 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,181 in a fucking wheelchair. 384 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,724 [scoffs] 385 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,644 Well, how the fuck are we supposed to hide that thing? 386 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,396 Whee! [laughs] 387 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,772 Hey, hey, hey. 388 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,232 Oh, my God. Dawn, what happened? 389 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,485 Ah, Father Time finally caught up with the old girl. 390 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,028 -Both hips, blammo. -What? 391 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,948 She's basically being held together by pants. 392 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,117 Dawn, but I saw you this morning. 393 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,744 It's insane, right? Yeah, emergency surgery. 394 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,830 Thank God, caught it just in time. 395 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,456 -Wow. -Fuck, should you be at dinner 396 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,834 if you just had emergency surgery? 397 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,835 You definitely shouldn't be here. 398 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,794 [Mo] She's fine. 399 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:39,962 Okay, we're gonna go over here now, Dawny. 400 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,380 -I can hear. -Right. 401 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:42,464 You're just old, you're not deaf. 402 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,174 Excuse me, guys. Beep, beep. 403 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,634 [Keith] Hey, fuck face. 404 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,469 I already planned one funeral for today. 405 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,846 Don't make me plan another. 406 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,307 I ordered these Bibles à la King James, 407 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:54,184 not these generic shits that you sent. 408 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,812 [Corkie] Keith, what did you do? 409 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,940 Exactly what the reverend would have wanted. 410 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:03,319 Why pay for a funeral when we can have 411 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,989 the congregation pay for a resurrection? 412 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,241 You sold my daddy's funeral? 413 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,576 Everything that's not nailed down. 414 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,620 That's why we still have Jesus' hands and feet. 415 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:16,248 Keith, my father would... 416 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:16,916 love this. 417 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,001 [laughs] Right? 418 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,337 But he might not love this. 419 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:24,048 What in the Hellmann's mayonnaise is he doing here? 420 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,257 Okay, he gave us a million bucks, 421 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,427 and all we had to give him was the, uh, eulogy. 422 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:31,013 Corkie, thank you so much 423 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:34,308 for giving me this honor to honor your father. 424 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,269 There's not a snowball's chance in Detroit 425 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,730 that that murderer is giving my dad's eulogy. 426 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,857 Do snowballs fare pretty well in Detroit? 427 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,275 I think she meant hell. 428 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,193 That feels racist. 429 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:48,072 Corkie, I didn't kill your father. 430 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,032 [whispering] I meant Roger. 431 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,825 [whispering] She's kinda got you there. 432 00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,702 You killed Roger. 433 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:54,870 No, I didn't. 434 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,455 Keith, I thought you said you worked it out. 435 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,375 I said I would work it out, and I still could. 436 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,543 Blair, you've caused me so much pain. 437 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:05,047 I mean, couldn't you at least spare me today of all days? 438 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,257 -[Corkie] Funeral's off! -[person] Okay. 439 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,468 [Corkie] No one's getting buried today! 440 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,054 Well, that's sort of the blessing and the curse 441 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,847 of being born with double-jointed hips. 442 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:14,848 Mm. 443 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,642 It made me quite the advanced lover... 444 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,643 [laughs] 445 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,979 But eventually caught up to me. 446 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,230 No worries, though. 447 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:26,068 Doc said I'd be down to pound in six to eight weeks max. 448 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,987 [Yassir X] It don't make sense, though. 449 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:31,323 Is your doctor a porn star? They said down to pound? 450 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,451 Or it makes perfect sense because that's literally 451 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,246 what happens to everybody when they get old. 452 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,707 Oh, please, enough about me. 453 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,417 Nomi, girl, did I hear 454 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,210 they are playing your song at the club now? 455 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,004 [Mo] Yes, they're playing her song at the club. 456 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,839 I know. [laughs] 457 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,465 I still can't believe it. 458 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,425 Oh, you know what? 459 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,969 It feels to me like you are about to-- 460 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,762 what's the opposite of settle down? 461 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,764 -Take off? -Yes, that's it. 462 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:56,890 I hope so. 463 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,434 In my head, I've already got the tour scheduled. 464 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,103 I wanna hit the road, see the world. 465 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,605 -Oh, the world is huge. -[Mo] Hey, how about a toast? 466 00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,482 -[Dawn] Yes. -Yes. 467 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,400 [clears throat] 468 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,736 To the two most important girls in my life. 469 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:09,987 Mm. 470 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,115 My old, old, old, old, old, old, 471 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,784 dusty, dusty, rocking chair old friend, Dawn. 472 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:16,910 -[Dawn] Okay. -[Mo laughs] 473 00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,662 Who risked her health to be here 474 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:19,872 fresh out of a hospital bed. 475 00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:22,249 Ah, you know what? This is an important toast. 476 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,334 Please, stand up so everyone can hear you. 477 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,045 Pretty sure everybody can hear me, Dawn. 478 00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,963 [Yassir X] What? 479 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,132 -[Mo] Really? -See? 480 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,675 -Well, I'll stand up. -[Dawn] Okay. 481 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,927 It's no big deal to stand up. 482 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,888 Who's worried about standing up? 483 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:37,681 So I'm standing up. And there it is. 484 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,017 I did it. I stood up. [laughs] 485 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,769 Maybe you should come and stand 486 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,188 between your two favorite girls, right? 487 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,647 -[Nomi] Aw. -[Yassir X] That's a good spot. 488 00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,941 Okay, right there. Here I come. 489 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,152 -I will put this here. -[Dawn] Yes. 490 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,820 And I'll come right over there. 491 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,155 -[Dawn] Sure. -[Nomi] Yeah, come on. 492 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,948 I'm gonna--I'm gonna come with some style. 493 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,492 [laughter] 494 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,576 A little flair. 495 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,745 Ooh, whoa. All right. 496 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,498 Ooh. La-da! [laughs] 497 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,834 And just one more space, and then I'm here. 498 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,419 Easy. Okay. 499 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,713 [clears throat] Where was I? 500 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,591 Nomi, to you, 501 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,760 the love of my life. 502 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:19,223 You know, as an orphan, I never really knew what home meant. 503 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,725 Then I met you. 504 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,559 That's a thing? 505 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,229 And yeah, the road? Sure, it's fun, 506 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,439 but home is where the heart is, 507 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,566 and that's why the greatest tour 508 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,819 is the tour of the heart... 509 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,195 Mm. 510 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,906 At home where your heart is. 511 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,574 -Okay. -Uh... 512 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,408 Love you, babe. 513 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,120 -Mm, love you too, Mo. -Yeah, to Nomi. 514 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,747 -Now, let's-- -Eat. Oh, my God. 515 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,082 We're so in the same stage of life, 516 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,875 we're finishing each other's sentences. 517 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,585 -Uh-huh. I was gonna say dance. -[Mo] Oh! 518 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:52,297 Great idea. You all better get out there. 519 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,423 That's what you do. 520 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,092 [Nomi] Come on, boo. Hmm? 521 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,718 Choo. Coo-coo-coo-coo. 522 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:57,678 Aren't you coming? 523 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,346 We're dancing-- well, I would, but you know, 524 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,098 Dawn and her bitch-ass hips. I don't wanna leave her. 525 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,933 No, no, no, no, no, I'm good. Actually, go, go, go dance 526 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,185 Yeah, that's what somebody says when they're not good 527 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,062 and they want you to stay, stay, stay. 528 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,397 I mean, come on, look at her. 529 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,649 She's single at an engagement party in a wheelchair. 530 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,359 Well, why don't we just take her with us then? 531 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,820 Okay, okay, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. 532 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,155 I mean, she's just really heavy, 533 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,031 and I don't want you to pull a muscle doing anything. 534 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,117 Okay. Yeah, so we'll be out here. 535 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,368 And I will be there. 536 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,620 I swear to God, I am gonna backflip out of this chair 537 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,914 and go fuck Johnny Gill right there on the dance floor. 538 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,333 -Who cares? -People who say that. 539 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,753 [Blair] Can I have a moment? Please? 540 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,172 [Corkie] Haven't you done enough? 541 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:37,009 I'm leaving. I just wanted to apologize. 542 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,343 For real. 543 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:42,973 I know you hate me, and I know you blame me for everything. 544 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,101 But I loved Roger. 545 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:50,397 I know that's hard to hear, but it's true. 546 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:53,901 And I never would have put him in danger like that. 547 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,027 I didn't release our tape. 548 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:59,072 I just wanted... you to know that-- 549 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,699 I know. 550 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,576 solemn music 551 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,328 He did. 552 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,914 Come on, Blair. 553 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,081 I mean, if anybody knew how evil 554 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,209 my father was, it's me. 555 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,753 And I know you didn't kill Roger. 556 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,630 I just lost everything, 557 00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:17,007 and I thought I needed a scapegoat. 558 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,676 But it turns out keeping an emotional support goat 559 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,638 on my fire escape was really not a good idea. 560 00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:25,015 It sounds messy. 561 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,976 Then I decided to blame you. 562 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,436 'Cause facing the real person 563 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:33,315 was too painful to accept. 564 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:36,485 For what it's worth, my dad sucked too. 565 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,903 He did? 566 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,404 Yeah. 567 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,075 I'm sorry for coming. 568 00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:48,080 And I'm sorry for your loss...es. 569 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:49,414 Wait. 570 00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:53,961 I want you to give the eulogy. 571 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,128 Really? 572 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:59,299 If...you tell the truth about my dad. 573 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,886 The world needs to know that he was a monster. 574 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:10,769 Thank you. 575 00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,190 -She buy it? -Yeah. 576 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,150 I make it rain at the party 577 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,611 OG, everybody here know me 578 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,488 Everybody here know me 579 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,408 I'm the OG, everybody here know me 580 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,493 I make it rain at the party 581 00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:29,621 OG, everybody here know me 582 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,624 Everybody here know me 583 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,376 soft piano music 584 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,294 -[sighs] -Oh. 585 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:36,545 -Huh? -Come on. 586 00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:39,589 Heh, oh, okay, well, I mean, probably the appetizers 587 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:40,841 are probably getting a little cold, right? 588 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:41,883 Let's take it to the table. 589 00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:43,385 Come on, I love this song. 590 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,178 Maybe Dawn could just sit this one out. 591 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:47,264 -Oh, yes, gladly. -[Mo] Oh, oh, no, no, no. 592 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,473 Ah! [laughs] 593 00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,684 She told me that she's gotta go to the bathroom, so yeah. 594 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,352 Ah, sounds like a job for Yassir. 595 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,104 Yassir, back the fuck up. I got it. 596 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,731 Okay. Mo, what the fuck? 597 00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:58,817 You've been acting weird as hell all night. 598 00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:02,195 Okay, shit, I'm just gonna tell you the truth. 599 00:22:02,237 --> 00:22:04,323 -Oh, thank God. Finally. -Great. Thank you. 600 00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:05,407 When Dawn spins around like this, 601 00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:07,242 she really has to piss, and when she goes 602 00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,327 she starts pissing everywhere, 603 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,494 and I don't want it to get all over us. 604 00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:10,912 -It's not your fault. -[Nomi] All right, okay. 605 00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:12,247 No, no, no, no. 606 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:13,582 All right, you know what? I'm out. 607 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,126 You guys can just piss all over each other all night 608 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,210 for all I care. 609 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:18,879 Happy engagement party. 610 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,963 Okay, Nomi, come on, Nomi. 611 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,548 -P-p-p-pissing's not my thing! -Nomi. 612 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,967 I promise I'm not into that. 613 00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:27,054 Hey, I-I know this is terrible timing, 614 00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:29,139 but could you wheel me to the bathroom? 615 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,432 'Cause I actually do have to piss. 616 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,101 And we're back from commercial in five. 617 00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:35,395 Grab those tissues, we're crying. 618 00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:37,397 Four. We're grabbing our wallets. 619 00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,566 Three. Remember to give us those donations. 620 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:42,903 Two. And cue the medium wash on stage. 621 00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:44,654 I love it, Ron, looking good. 622 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:45,697 We're about to bring out the body. 623 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,741 Good luck, everybody. Here we go. 624 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,370 I don't know how you did it, but, uh, thank you. 625 00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,246 I mean, I thought this thing was gonna go to hell. 626 00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,123 Well, now only Pastor Swafford is. 627 00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:57,250 Okay, cue the models. Cue the models. 628 00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:59,002 Check this shit out. 629 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,505 Let's look sexy, sexy, sexy. 630 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,256 And let's show off that denim. 631 00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:06,635 I'm sorry, are the pallbearers modeling Pfaffashions? 632 00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:09,471 Yeah, it's genius, right? Free advertising. 633 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:11,139 This thing's gonna get a 22 share. 634 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:13,100 Watch, our sales are gonna skyrocket. 635 00:23:13,141 --> 00:23:15,268 And show me that tushy. All right. 636 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:16,937 [Blair] You really are a piece of shit, Shankar. 637 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:20,107 Well, this POS is about to SOS your wife's IPO. 638 00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:21,274 So it's time for you to go. 639 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:23,652 Remember, plug the donations. We're close to our goal. 640 00:23:23,693 --> 00:23:25,278 And if you can slip in Pfaffashions, 641 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:26,279 that would be great, okay? 642 00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:28,281 Into the Lord's Prayer? 643 00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:30,992 You can do it. Break a leg. Go, go. 644 00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:32,327 All right. 645 00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,871 Great, give me voice of God in three, two. 646 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:38,250 And now, to delivery the pastor's eulogy, 647 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,127 he's your congressman, 648 00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:42,254 Blair... 649 00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:44,089 Pfaff! 650 00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:47,926 [cheers and applause] 651 00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:56,935 [high-pitched ringing] 652 00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:04,151 Pick up your cues. Pick up your cues. 653 00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:06,945 Blair Pfaff. 654 00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:10,115 [cheers and applause] 655 00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:16,997 Ladies and gentlemen... 656 00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,039 Camera one. 657 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:21,001 We gather here to bury a man. 658 00:24:22,085 --> 00:24:25,297 Some would say a great man, 659 00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:27,299 but the truth is... 660 00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,012 ...the truth is... 661 00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:36,141 ...the truth is... 662 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,894 Pastor Swafford was... 663 00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:41,146 so much more than that. 664 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:48,528 He was a direct messenger of the Lord. 665 00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,655 [cheers and applause] 666 00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:54,075 I feel Pastor Swafford rising up 667 00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:58,246 just like our family values revolution is rising up 668 00:24:58,288 --> 00:25:00,540 against the Communist, Marxist, 669 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:04,002 socialist, radical left. 670 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,505 [Mo] Go ahead. Say, "I told you so." 671 00:25:06,546 --> 00:25:07,756 [Dawn] No. No. 672 00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:10,425 Look, she just needs to cool down tonight. 673 00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:11,551 Tomorrow, you'll come clean, 674 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:15,180 and I'm sure she will understand. 675 00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,474 I hope you're right. 676 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,392 Ah, okay. 677 00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:21,228 Thanks, Dawny. 678 00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:23,563 -Again. -[both laugh] 679 00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:27,484 You're welcome, again. [chuckles] 680 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,487 soft choral music 681 00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,204 What the fuck? 682 00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:42,832 I can walk! 683 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:45,544 Oh, my God, it's a miracle! I can walk! 684 00:25:45,585 --> 00:25:48,755 Oh, Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! 685 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,674 [Blair] Praise Jesus indeed. 686 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,509 Can you help us get over that heavenly hump? 687 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:53,760 Can you spare it? 688 00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:57,514 Can you spare us from a life without our leader? 689 00:25:57,556 --> 00:26:01,893 Raise your hand if you can take us to the promised land! 690 00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:04,229 Yes, yes, yes, oh! 691 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:07,482 It's a miracle! It's a miracle! 692 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,193 Take it away, Pastor Swafford! 693 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,362 Cue the video. 694 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:15,323 [Newell] Hello. It. Is. Me. 695 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,826 -Newell Swafford, pastor. -Yes! 696 00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:20,161 I love! All of you. 697 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:24,249 Thank you. Fore! Resurrecting me. 698 00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:28,503 Like Jesus, I am going home. 699 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:30,463 See you soon. 700 00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:34,092 God was nice. Good bye. 701 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,427 Yes! 702 00:26:35,468 --> 00:26:37,387 [cheers and applause] 703 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,222 You all deserve some thanks. 704 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:40,849 Get on up here. Get on up here. 705 00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:44,436 We are not worthy! We are not worthy! 706 00:26:44,477 --> 00:26:46,396 Whoo! 707 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,107 [screams and gasps] 708 00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,112 Uh, no refunds. 709 00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:55,155 Thanks for coming. 710 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:56,281 Run! 711 00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:03,330 Fuck. Nomi. 712 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:05,123 [Nomi] What you reading? 713 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,375 Uh. It's a jerk mag. 714 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:09,085 I was gonna go have a little Mo party, 715 00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:11,630 but now I'm too sad. 716 00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:15,008 Hey, hey, stop. Stop. 717 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,468 [Mo sighs] 718 00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:19,471 solemn music 719 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,016 I don't want this. 720 00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:26,853 Okay, I understand. 721 00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:30,106 If you can't be real with me about a fucked up leg, 722 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:33,026 what else am I gonna have to worry about? 723 00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:36,488 So that's why I think 724 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:40,033 if you ever hide some shit from me again, 725 00:27:40,075 --> 00:27:41,743 it's over. 726 00:27:41,785 --> 00:27:43,787 Don't you think I don't know you're older than me? 727 00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:46,081 You use talcum powder as deodorant. 728 00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:47,040 It's healthier. 729 00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:49,501 And your hair, it was salt-and-pepper yesterday, 730 00:27:49,542 --> 00:27:51,211 and now it's just pepper. 731 00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:52,212 I was going for something. 732 00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,422 Well, we'll figure it out. 733 00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:56,800 'Cause I love your old ass. 734 00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:00,261 I love you too, Nomi. 735 00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:08,019 -Come here. -Okay. 736 00:28:08,061 --> 00:28:09,437 How'd you find me? 737 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:11,231 Dawn, she told me everything. 738 00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:12,440 Oh. 739 00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:14,317 She's a really good friend to you, Mo. 740 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,362 Yeah, I guess she is. 741 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,322 You like your new house? 742 00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:20,740 -Yeah, I love it. -Oh, good. 743 00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:22,575 Yeah. [chuckles] 744 00:28:22,617 --> 00:28:24,035 Ooh, what's that painting? 745 00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:27,330 Oh, my God. Does nobody know the band Dawn? 746 00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:29,791 I'll get rid of it. 747 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,836 upbeat synth music 748 00:28:32,886 --> 00:28:37,436 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 61696

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