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upbeat music
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It's Showtime tonight
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[Keith]Previously onBlack Monday...
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[yells]
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Ms. Nomi Maldana,
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our latest signingto KokoMo Co Records.
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And your fiancée.We're getting hitched, y'all.
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Yeah.
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[Harris]At some point in your life,
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you stopped caringabout anybody but yourself.
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From now on,I'm gonna be good and true.
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How about unlimited power,sex, and money?
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A million dollars went missingfrom the company last night.
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Political donations area legitimate business expense.
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Fuck it, I'm through.Whoo! Whoo!
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Ooh, baby, baby
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Baby, baby
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Ooh, baby, baby
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Baby, baby
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Get up on this
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Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It"
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upbeat electronic music
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Pssh, ah, push it!
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[sniffs]
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Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby pop
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Yeah, you, come here,give me a kiss
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Better make it fastor else I'm gonna get pissed
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Can't you hearthe music's pumpin' hard
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Like I wish you would?
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Now push it
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Push it good
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Push it real good!
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[grunts, shudders]
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[laughter]
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[all cheering]
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Ah, push it
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Nancy, hello.Good to see you.
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Don't work too hard.Hey, Diane.
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Get up on this
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Push-push-push it, push it
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[retching]
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[groans, coughs]
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We can't afford this.
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Okay, I am the onethey call "Jeansus."
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Okay, well then call me"Jew-das."
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Emphasis on the Jew, okay?
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That's what I've beencalling you behind your back.
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[accordion playingfuneral march on stereo]
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What the--
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-Fuck is this?-Ooh, boy.
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Tiff.
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-Tiff.-[Tiff] Baby girl.
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Wow.
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That's enough, Dustin.
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[Tiff]I am so sorry.
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I can't imagine what it's liketo lose a father
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who didn't kidnap you.
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Pastor was an amazing man.
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Yeah, well, at leasthe's with God now.
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And Jesus, right?Was Jesus up there too?
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I-I know there's a third one.Uh, is it ghost?
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Silence, usurper.
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Corkie, if there'sabsolutely anything you need,
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please, just say the word.
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The word.
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[laughing]
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Sorry, you have to laughin times like these.
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Yeah.
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Tiff, could I ask you
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to take careof the pastor's funeral?
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I can't.
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Of course, of course.I would love to.
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Daddy left verydetailed instructions,
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and his funeral must rivalthe King of Kings himself.
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Oh, a giant stone to rollin front of his tomb
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-à la Christ the King.-Okay.
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A gold casketà la Tut the King.
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NDAs for his affairsà la Martin Luther the King.
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Chicken à la King. Wow.
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Well, at least the churchis sending him off in style.
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Oh, as if.The church is completely broke.
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Turns out living in a jetthat never lands adds up.
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Sure.
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But we've been doing so well.
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It shouldn't be a problem,right, Tiff?
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I'm sorry, you expectPfaffashions to pay for this?
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I spent a lot of time
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getting this companyready to go public,
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and we can't be seen spendingmoney on a funeral like this.
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The Street is gonna go crazy.
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Blessfully, it's not up to you.It's up to the board.
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Tiff, me, Daddy--whose voteI now control--you, and Larry.
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All those in favor?
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-Opposed?-Yeah, fucking nay.
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Ooh, it looks like nayis for horses, Keith.
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[both laughing]
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Uh, not that funny. Okay.
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-You're right.-No.
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We do have to laugh.
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-You have to laugh.-We have to laugh!
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[Corkie]Especially when it's hard.
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Why don't we laugh
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and then not spend the cash?
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How 'bout that?
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Tiff, thank you.
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Keith, fudge you.
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[sobs]
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[funeral march resumes]
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[Corkie sobbing]
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What the fuck, Tiff?
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This is corporate suicideand actual murder.
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When Larry finds out aboutthis, he's going to kill me.
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I have triedto tell you this, Keith:
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this is my company,
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and if I wanna use my moneyon a roast
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of Allah à la Alan King,then I will.
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What the fuck is that?
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I think it's likea Friars Club roast
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of the Muslim god Allah.
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I can't believe she expects meto do all this by Saturday.
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Cork, Corks, Corksie.
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Corkie!
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upbeat percussive music
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How you doing, Mo?
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What's that supposed to me--mean?
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[coughing] You see what you--
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[coughing]Made me do, Dawn? Fuck.
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Somebody woke up onthe wrong side of the bed.
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I didn't wake up on any sideof any bed, okay?
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I'll have you know I was uphaving sex all night, so.
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Mm, well, cool.
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So again,how are you doing, Mo?
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Never better.[laughs]
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Woman I love, check.Job I love, check.
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Form of payment I receivefor royalties
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for the woman I lovesong I love
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at the job I love, check.
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Whoever said a mancan't have it all?
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Uh, literally no one ever.
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It just seems to me likeyou're having
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a little troublekeeping up with Nomi.
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What? Why would you say that?
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'Cause your dye'srunning faster
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than Flo-Jo, Bootsy Collins.
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Oh, shit.
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[Mo] Okay, one joke, two icons.Pretty good there.
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Thank you.
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Don't you worryabout that, okay?
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And don't worry about this.
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It's just a littlenagging injury
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that I got when I Bruce Leroyedthe Leighman Brothers' door.
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Look, I know everybody outthere thinks that I robbed
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the cradle, but you areonly as old as you feel.
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And I feel absolutely--
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Hey, boss. I got all that stuffyou asked for.
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Coke to stay up,vikes to stay upright,
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dick pills to stay hard,and Ex-Lax to stay soft.
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Dawn, did you knowour man is constipated?
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-Yes! I can see it in his eyes.-Jaundice.
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Why don't you getthe fuck out, Yasshole.
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Wow, someone woke upon the wrong side of the bed.
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I was having sex all night!
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Look, Mo, there's no shamein admitting that you and Nomi
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are in different stages of life
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and digestive regularity.
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We're in the exactsame stage, okay?
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That's the honeymoon stage.
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-Don't worry, I'm doing great.-Okay, fine.
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Dawn.[laughs]
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Just the personI wanted to see.
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We're havingan engagement dinner...
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-Mm-hmm.-Saturday at 11:00. You in?
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Oh, for sure, but isn't 11:00more like an engagement brunch?
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[laughs]
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11:00 p.m., Mee-maw.This one.
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I know you're usedto the early bird special
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-'cause you're old as shit.-That'll do.
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Okay. Okay.Well, love you.
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[Mo]Love you.
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Ah! Fuck!
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God damn it!
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Brushing your chompers, huh?
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Uh-huh.
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[gruff voice]The old pearly whites.
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-[chuckles]-Nice.
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How's the funeralplanning going?
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Ugh.Corkie is a real diedzilla.
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Oh!
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[laughs]
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Tiff.
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Oh, I'm having a bearof a week myself,
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and it's not even hump day.[groans]
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But I guess they call methe "it boy" not the "sit boy."
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Just got back-to-backsall morning.
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And tomorrow,I have to give
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the Medal of Freedomto a police dog.
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And then Saturday, I have
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Pastor Swafford's funeral,and--
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Was that a spit take or justrun-of-the-mill tooth brushing?
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-That's insane.-The police dog? I know.
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But he was the only cop
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we could be surewasn't a white supremacist.
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No, Corkie will freak out at meif you show up at that funeral.
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She's already pissed that I letKeith take over the company,
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and he's pissed thatwe're paying for this thing.
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Why would Corkie be mad at me?
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I shot her dad's TV,not her dad.
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You fucked her husbandto death.
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-Okay.-It's bad.
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But that's exactlywhy I have to be there.
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His death has stirred upall of my old scandals,
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and the RNC feels likethe best way
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to reassure my religious base
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is to givea very moving eulogy.
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There's no confusionon that one.
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[Tiff] They want youto give the eulogy?
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I mean,that is even more insane
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than how many copsare white supremacists.
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Not really, when you considerthe American policing system
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was initially designed toprotect white property owners.
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Okay, Blair.[groans]
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Do you think I want to do this?
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The last time I took the stage,I took a bullet.
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And that was before two peoplevery close to me
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were killedunder mysterious circumstances.
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I'm afraid if I don't do this,I might be next.
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The RNC is very scary.
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Well, then maybeit's for the best.
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Maybe it's timeto just walk away.
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-Please let me do a tight five.-No!
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I'll open, I'll close.I'll host.
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I won't middle because you'vegotta draw the line somewhere.
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I'm sorry, I have three daysto plan a dream funeral.
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So unless you knowwhat color coffin skirt
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goes with a gold casket then--
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-American flag.-Thank you. Thank you.
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upbeat music
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Well, if it isn'tthe six million doll hair man.
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My plugs looks great and youknow it, Congressman Fuck Face.
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You look likea Chia Pet cemetery.
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Yeah, well, you--you look like a fuck face.
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Do you just come upwith these on the spot?
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And what's going on?I thought we had
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a nice moment the other night.
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Oh, yeah, I can't keep track
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of all of theseshifting dynamics.
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Um, how is all of thatgoing for you?
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Been going to Housecat a lot,you know, try to reconnect
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-with Mike and---[clucking]
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Okay, I need youto convince Corkie
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to let me giveher dad's eulogy.
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What? How? Why?
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Because I'll give backthe million dollars
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of company moneyTiff donated to my campaign.
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Wow, am I reallyin the business
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of selling eulogies now?
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You've carved outquite a nice little corner
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of the worldfor yourself, there, Keith.
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Well, if the Catholic churchcan sell tickets to heaven,
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you got a deal.
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-Ho!-I was gonna do that.
262
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,631
I was gonna do that.
263
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:54,093
-[Dawn] Mo!-I'm back here.
264
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,261
Room on the right.
265
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,721
[Dawn]Whose fucking house is this?
266
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,889
And what the fuck is upwith that cast?
267
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,642
Do you ever just be doingnormal shit like reading?
268
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,478
Ugh, apparently,I "aggravated my injury"
269
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,772
because of my"reckless behavior,"
270
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,941
and now I have a conditioncalled "shin crumble"
271
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,486
which is threatening my abilityto have two legs "long-term"
272
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,363
because I treated my walkingcast
273
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,365
"like a joke"and my doctor's instructions
274
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,825
as if they were"in air quotes," so.
275
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,744
Well, you know what?At least now, you have to rest
276
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,537
'cause there's no hidingthis shit from Nomi.
277
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,247
Oh, really?
278
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,999
[clears throat]
279
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,418
Twinsies.
280
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,711
-[sighs]-[groans]
281
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,171
Fine, look,maybe you were right.
282
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,715
Maybe Nomi and I are indifferent stages of our life.
283
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,758
Wait, is that what this is?
284
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,968
Did you buy this house for her?
285
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,428
Oh, my God, Mo,you've known her
286
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,388
for, like, nine days.
287
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,890
Well, when you know, you know.You know?
288
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,017
Yeah, but does she knowabout this house?
289
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,852
Eh--I--
290
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,646
-I wanted to surprise her.-[scoffs]
291
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,022
But then I started worryingthat, you know,
292
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,232
maybe this isn'twhat she wants right now.
293
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,068
I don't know.
294
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:52,985
It is dope.
295
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,321
-[Mo] It could be, right?-Yeah. Oh, my God.
296
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,907
Once you fix it up.
297
00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:00,826
It's crazy,this is the exact street
298
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,787
that I told youI always wanted to live on.
299
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,332
-Yeah, I don't remember that.-Is that a painting of me?
300
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:09,168
Mm-mm. No.
301
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,837
It literally says "Dawn" on it.
302
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,382
-Yeah?-Give me a second,
303
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,008
the pain meds are...
304
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:20,179
uh, yeah, that's Telma Hopkinsfrom the band Dawn, obviously.
305
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,598
Mo, I cannot believe
306
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,350
how much she looks like me.
307
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:27,478
Yeah, it's unbelievable.Hey, me, me.
308
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,146
[Dawn]Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
309
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,189
Okay, look, um,
310
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,401
you just have to be up-frontwith her before the wedding.
311
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,236
You know,you'll reach a compromise.
312
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,654
Or...
313
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,365
at the very least, you'llrealize it wasn't meant to be.
314
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,616
Either way, I don't know,
315
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,368
it's better to knowthe day before
316
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,869
than the day after.
317
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,996
Trust me, you know, I...[sighs]
318
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,582
I wish I'd have knownway sooner that--
319
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,292
Spencer was ina different world.
320
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,585
You know, he does look a lot
321
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,379
like an older versionof Dwayne Wayne.
322
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,588
Hmm?
323
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,007
No, I meant a different worldthan where I come from.
324
00:11:57,049 --> 00:12:00,219
Oh, one in which you weren'tconstantly cheating on him.
325
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,429
Yeah, with you.
326
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,180
-Well, still.-[scoffs]
327
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,807
Well, are you gonnatalk to her or not?
328
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,600
-Yes. Thank you.-You're welcome.
329
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,769
Hey, can you make mea sandwich?
330
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,479
Fine. What do you want?
331
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,856
You to go to the grocery store
332
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,150
and get everythingto make me a sandwich.
333
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:17,111
Now do you see why buildinga rig to fly the casket
334
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:20,156
over the churchis time- and cost-prohibitive?
335
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,158
I have to say, Tiff,I don't see it.
336
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:22,992
Okay. Really?
337
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,368
A heavy casketwith your father in it?
338
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,828
Just some sortof a pulley system, or...
339
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,079
[Keith]What would you say
340
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,165
if I could give the pastoreverything he wanted
341
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,041
and save your churchin the process?
342
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,794
Oh, well, I'd say,what do I have to do?
343
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:34,962
Just let little old Keithy
344
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,797
take careof the funeral arrangements.
345
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,632
You had me at"let little old Keithy
346
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,259
take careof the funeral arrangements."
347
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,928
That was literallythe last thing that I said.
348
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,097
Bye. Bye, Corkie.It's been real.
349
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:45,765
Oh, free!
350
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,016
She's really running.
351
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,851
She kinda does thatin stressful situations.
352
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,770
Okay. Let's take a look here,
353
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:53,147
uh, at your binder.
354
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,150
All right, so food,obviously, a big thing.
355
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,402
-Do we wanna do food?-Absolutely.
356
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,904
I think Daddy said he'd like
357
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,491
to start offwith filet mignon for apps.
358
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,784
-For apps?-Yes.
359
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,994
We have, uh, what,35,000 people in attendance?
360
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,706
That's a rough estimate.Anywhere between 35 and 40.
361
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,541
-Thousand.-Thousand.
362
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,503
Okay, uh...
363
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,796
You ever have a Steak-umm?
364
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:19,924
upbeat music
365
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,468
Ah.
366
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,474
Nine o'clock?
367
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,311
Ahh!
368
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,938
[knock at door]
369
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:36,732
[knocking continues]
370
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,984
What time is it?
371
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,489
[Dawn] Uh, what the fuck?
372
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,658
Ma'am.
373
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:47,993
You didn't tell Nomithe truth, did you?
374
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,203
No, I didn't tell her.
375
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,622
I was going to, but instead,I sawed off my cast,
376
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,792
and now I have somethingcalled, uh, powder foot.
377
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,919
What the fuck is wrongwith you, Mo?
378
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,712
-Huh?-I love her, okay?
379
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,047
I don't wanna lose her.
380
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,675
I know my old asshas no business being with her.
381
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,594
Come on, you said you wantedto be friends, so prove it.
382
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,680
I cannot show upat my own engagement party
383
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,181
in a fucking wheelchair.
384
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,724
[scoffs]
385
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,644
Well, how the fuck are wesupposed to hide that thing?
386
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,396
Whee![laughs]
387
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,772
Hey, hey, hey.
388
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,232
Oh, my God.Dawn, what happened?
389
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,485
Ah, Father Time finallycaught up with the old girl.
390
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,028
-Both hips, blammo.-What?
391
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,948
She's basically beingheld together by pants.
392
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,117
Dawn, but I saw youthis morning.
393
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,744
It's insane, right?Yeah, emergency surgery.
394
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,830
Thank God,caught it just in time.
395
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,456
-Wow.-Fuck, should you be at dinner
396
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,834
if you just hademergency surgery?
397
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,835
You definitely shouldn'tbe here.
398
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,794
[Mo] She's fine.
399
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:39,962
Okay, we're gonnago over here now, Dawny.
400
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,380
-I can hear.-Right.
401
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:42,464
You're just old,you're not deaf.
402
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,174
Excuse me, guys. Beep, beep.
403
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,634
[Keith]Hey, fuck face.
404
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,469
I already plannedone funeral for today.
405
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,846
Don't make me plan another.
406
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,307
I ordered these Biblesà la King James,
407
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:54,184
not these generic shitsthat you sent.
408
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,812
[Corkie]Keith, what did you do?
409
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,940
Exactly what the reverendwould have wanted.
410
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:03,319
Why pay for a funeralwhen we can have
411
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,989
the congregation payfor a resurrection?
412
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,241
You sold my daddy's funeral?
413
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,576
Everything that's notnailed down.
414
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,620
That's why we still haveJesus' hands and feet.
415
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:16,248
Keith, my father would...
416
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:16,916
love this.
417
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,001
[laughs]Right?
418
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,337
But he might not love this.
419
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:24,048
What in the Hellmann'smayonnaise is he doing here?
420
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,257
Okay, he gave usa million bucks,
421
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,427
and all we had to give himwas the, uh, eulogy.
422
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:31,013
Corkie, thank you so much
423
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:34,308
for giving me this honorto honor your father.
424
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,269
There's not a snowball'schance in Detroit
425
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,730
that that murdereris giving my dad's eulogy.
426
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,857
Do snowballs fare pretty wellin Detroit?
427
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,275
I think she meant hell.
428
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,193
That feels racist.
429
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:48,072
Corkie,I didn't kill your father.
430
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,032
[whispering]I meant Roger.
431
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,825
[whispering]She's kinda got you there.
432
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,702
You killed Roger.
433
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:54,870
No, I didn't.
434
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,455
Keith, I thought you saidyou worked it out.
435
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,375
I said I would work it out,and I still could.
436
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,543
Blair, you've caused meso much pain.
437
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:05,047
I mean, couldn't you at leastspare me today of all days?
438
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,257
-[Corkie] Funeral's off!-[person] Okay.
439
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,468
[Corkie] No one's gettingburied today!
440
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,054
Well, that's sort ofthe blessing and the curse
441
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,847
of being bornwith double-jointed hips.
442
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:14,848
Mm.
443
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,642
It made me quitethe advanced lover...
444
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,643
[laughs]
445
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,979
But eventually caught up to me.
446
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,230
No worries, though.
447
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:26,068
Doc said I'd be down to poundin six to eight weeks max.
448
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,987
[Yassir X]It don't make sense, though.
449
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:31,323
Is your doctor a porn star?They said down to pound?
450
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,451
Or it makes perfect sensebecause that's literally
451
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,246
what happens to everybodywhen they get old.
452
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,707
Oh, please, enough about me.
453
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,417
Nomi, girl, did I hear
454
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,210
they are playing your songat the club now?
455
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,004
[Mo] Yes, they're playingher song at the club.
456
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,839
I know.[laughs]
457
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,465
I still can't believe it.
458
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,425
Oh, you know what?
459
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,969
It feels to melike you are about to--
460
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,762
what's the oppositeof settle down?
461
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,764
-Take off?-Yes, that's it.
462
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:56,890
I hope so.
463
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,434
In my head, I've alreadygot the tour scheduled.
464
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,103
I wanna hit the road,see the world.
465
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,605
-Oh, the world is huge.-[Mo] Hey, how about a toast?
466
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,482
-[Dawn] Yes.-Yes.
467
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,400
[clears throat]
468
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,736
To the two most important girlsin my life.
469
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:09,987
Mm.
470
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,115
My old, old, old,old, old, old,
471
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,784
dusty, dusty, rocking chairold friend, Dawn.
472
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:16,910
-[Dawn] Okay.-[Mo laughs]
473
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,662
Who risked her healthto be here
474
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:19,872
fresh out of a hospital bed.
475
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:22,249
Ah, you know what?This is an important toast.
476
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,334
Please, stand upso everyone can hear you.
477
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,045
Pretty sure everybodycan hear me, Dawn.
478
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,963
[Yassir X]What?
479
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,132
-[Mo] Really?-See?
480
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,675
-Well, I'll stand up.-[Dawn] Okay.
481
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,927
It's no big deal to stand up.
482
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,888
Who's worried aboutstanding up?
483
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:37,681
So I'm standing up.And there it is.
484
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,017
I did it. I stood up.[laughs]
485
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,769
Maybe you should come and stand
486
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,188
between your twofavorite girls, right?
487
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,647
-[Nomi] Aw.-[Yassir X] That's a good spot.
488
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,941
Okay, right there. Here I come.
489
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,152
-I will put this here.-[Dawn] Yes.
490
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,820
And I'll come right over there.
491
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,155
-[Dawn] Sure.-[Nomi] Yeah, come on.
492
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,948
I'm gonna--I'm gonna comewith some style.
493
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,492
[laughter]
494
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,576
A little flair.
495
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,745
Ooh, whoa. All right.
496
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,498
Ooh. La-da![laughs]
497
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,834
And just one more space,and then I'm here.
498
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,419
Easy. Okay.
499
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,713
[clears throat]Where was I?
500
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,591
Nomi, to you,
501
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,760
the love of my life.
502
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:19,223
You know, as an orphan, I neverreally knew what home meant.
503
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,725
Then I met you.
504
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,559
That's a thing?
505
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,229
And yeah, the road?Sure, it's fun,
506
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,439
but home is where the heart is,
507
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,566
and that's whythe greatest tour
508
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,819
is the tour of the heart...
509
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,195
Mm.
510
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,906
At home where your heart is.
511
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,574
-Okay.-Uh...
512
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,408
Love you, babe.
513
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,120
-Mm, love you too, Mo.-Yeah, to Nomi.
514
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,747
-Now, let's---Eat. Oh, my God.
515
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,082
We're so inthe same stage of life,
516
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,875
we're finishingeach other's sentences.
517
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,585
-Uh-huh. I was gonna say dance.-[Mo] Oh!
518
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:52,297
Great idea.You all better get out there.
519
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,423
That's what you do.
520
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,092
[Nomi]Come on, boo. Hmm?
521
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,718
Choo. Coo-coo-coo-coo.
522
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:57,678
Aren't you coming?
523
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,346
We're dancing--well, I would, but you know,
524
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,098
Dawn and her bitch-ass hips.I don't wanna leave her.
525
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,933
No, no, no, no, no, I'm good.Actually, go, go, go dance
526
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,185
Yeah, that's what somebodysays when they're not good
527
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,062
and they want youto stay, stay, stay.
528
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,397
I mean, come on, look at her.
529
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,649
She's single at an engagementparty in a wheelchair.
530
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,359
Well, why don't we justtake her with us then?
531
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,820
Okay, okay, I'll do it.I'll do it. I'll do it.
532
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,155
I mean,she's just really heavy,
533
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,031
and I don't want you to pulla muscle doing anything.
534
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,117
Okay.Yeah, so we'll be out here.
535
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,368
And I will be there.
536
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,620
I swear to God, I am gonnabackflip out of this chair
537
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,914
and go fuck Johnny Gillright there on the dance floor.
538
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,333
-Who cares?-People who say that.
539
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,753
[Blair]Can I have a moment? Please?
540
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,172
[Corkie]Haven't you done enough?
541
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:37,009
I'm leaving.I just wanted to apologize.
542
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,343
For real.
543
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:42,973
I know you hate me, and I knowyou blame me for everything.
544
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,101
But I loved Roger.
545
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:50,397
I know that's hard to hear,but it's true.
546
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:53,901
And I never would have put himin danger like that.
547
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,027
I didn't release our tape.
548
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:59,072
I just wanted...you to know that--
549
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,699
I know.
550
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,576
solemn music
551
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,328
He did.
552
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,914
Come on, Blair.
553
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,081
I mean, if anybodyknew how evil
554
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,209
my father was, it's me.
555
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,753
And I know you didn't killRoger.
556
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,630
I just lost everything,
557
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:17,007
and I thoughtI needed a scapegoat.
558
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,676
But it turns out keepingan emotional support goat
559
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,638
on my fire escapewas really not a good idea.
560
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:25,015
It sounds messy.
561
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,976
Then I decided to blame you.
562
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,436
'Cause facing the real person
563
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:33,315
was too painful to accept.
564
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:36,485
For what it's worth,my dad sucked too.
565
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,903
He did?
566
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,404
Yeah.
567
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,075
I'm sorry for coming.
568
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:48,080
And I'm sorryfor your loss...es.
569
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:49,414
Wait.
570
00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:53,961
I want you to give the eulogy.
571
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,128
Really?
572
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:59,299
If...you tell the truthabout my dad.
573
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,886
The world needs to knowthat he was a monster.
574
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:10,769
Thank you.
575
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,190
-She buy it?-Yeah.
576
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,150
I make it rainat the party
577
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,611
OG, everybody here know me
578
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,488
Everybody here know me
579
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,408
I'm the OG,everybody here know me
580
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,493
I make it rainat the party
581
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:29,621
OG, everybody here know me
582
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,624
Everybody here know me
583
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,376
soft piano music
584
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,294
-[sighs]-Oh.
585
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:36,545
-Huh?-Come on.
586
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:39,589
Heh, oh, okay, well, I mean,probably the appetizers
587
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:40,841
are probably gettinga little cold, right?
588
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:41,883
Let's take it to the table.
589
00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:43,385
Come on, I love this song.
590
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,178
Maybe Dawn could justsit this one out.
591
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:47,264
-Oh, yes, gladly.-[Mo] Oh, oh, no, no, no.
592
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,473
Ah![laughs]
593
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:50,684
She told me that she's gottago to the bathroom, so yeah.
594
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,352
Ah, sounds like a jobfor Yassir.
595
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,104
Yassir, back the fuck up.I got it.
596
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,731
Okay. Mo, what the fuck?
597
00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:58,817
You've been acting weirdas hell all night.
598
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:02,195
Okay, shit, I'm just gonnatell you the truth.
599
00:22:02,237 --> 00:22:04,323
-Oh, thank God. Finally.-Great. Thank you.
600
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:05,407
When Dawn spins aroundlike this,
601
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:07,242
she really has to piss,and when she goes
602
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,327
she starts pissing everywhere,
603
00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,494
and I don't want itto get all over us.
604
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:10,912
-It's not your fault.-[Nomi] All right, okay.
605
00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:12,247
No, no, no, no.
606
00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:13,582
All right, you know what?I'm out.
607
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,126
You guys can just piss allover each other all night
608
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,210
for all I care.
609
00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:18,879
Happy engagement party.
610
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,963
Okay, Nomi, come on, Nomi.
611
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,548
-P-p-p-pissing's not my thing!-Nomi.
612
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,967
I promise I'm not into that.
613
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:27,054
Hey, I-I know this isterrible timing,
614
00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:29,139
but could you wheel meto the bathroom?
615
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,432
'Cause I actuallydo have to piss.
616
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,101
And we're back from commercialin five.
617
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:35,395
Grab those tissues,we're crying.
618
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:37,397
Four.We're grabbing our wallets.
619
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,566
Three. Remember to give usthose donations.
620
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:42,903
Two. And cue the medium washon stage.
621
00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:44,654
I love it, Ron, looking good.
622
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:45,697
We're about to bring outthe body.
623
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,741
Good luck, everybody.Here we go.
624
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,370
I don't know how you did it,but, uh, thank you.
625
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,246
I mean, I thought this thingwas gonna go to hell.
626
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,123
Well, now onlyPastor Swafford is.
627
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:57,250
Okay, cue the models.Cue the models.
628
00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:59,002
Check this shit out.
629
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,505
Let's look sexy, sexy, sexy.
630
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,256
And let's show off that denim.
631
00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:06,635
I'm sorry, are the pallbearersmodeling Pfaffashions?
632
00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:09,471
Yeah, it's genius, right?Free advertising.
633
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:11,139
This thing's gonna geta 22 share.
634
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:13,100
Watch, our salesare gonna skyrocket.
635
00:23:13,141 --> 00:23:15,268
And show me that tushy.All right.
636
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:16,937
[Blair] You really area piece of shit, Shankar.
637
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:20,107
Well, this POS is aboutto SOS your wife's IPO.
638
00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:21,274
So it's time for you to go.
639
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:23,652
Remember, plug the donations.We're close to our goal.
640
00:23:23,693 --> 00:23:25,278
And if you canslip in Pfaffashions,
641
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:26,279
that would be great, okay?
642
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:28,281
Into the Lord's Prayer?
643
00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:30,992
You can do it. Break a leg.Go, go.
644
00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:32,327
All right.
645
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,871
Great, give me voice of Godin three, two.
646
00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:38,250
And now, to deliverythe pastor's eulogy,
647
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,127
he's your congressman,
648
00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:42,254
Blair...
649
00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:44,089
Pfaff!
650
00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:47,926
[cheers and applause]
651
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:56,935
[high-pitched ringing]
652
00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:04,151
Pick up your cues.Pick up your cues.
653
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:06,945
Blair Pfaff.
654
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:10,115
[cheers and applause]
655
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:16,997
Ladies and gentlemen...
656
00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,039
Camera one.
657
00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:21,001
We gather here to bury a man.
658
00:24:22,085 --> 00:24:25,297
Some would say a great man,
659
00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:27,299
but the truth is...
660
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,012
...the truth is...
661
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:36,141
...the truth is...
662
00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,894
Pastor Swafford was...
663
00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:41,146
so much more than that.
664
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:48,528
He was a direct messengerof the Lord.
665
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,655
[cheers and applause]
666
00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:54,075
I feel Pastor Swaffordrising up
667
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:58,246
just like our family valuesrevolution is rising up
668
00:24:58,288 --> 00:25:00,540
against the Communist, Marxist,
669
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:04,002
socialist, radical left.
670
00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,505
[Mo] Go ahead.Say, "I told you so."
671
00:25:06,546 --> 00:25:07,756
[Dawn]No. No.
672
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:10,425
Look, she just needsto cool down tonight.
673
00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:11,551
Tomorrow, you'll come clean,
674
00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:15,180
and I'm sureshe will understand.
675
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,474
I hope you're right.
676
00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,392
Ah, okay.
677
00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:21,228
Thanks, Dawny.
678
00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:23,563
-Again.-[both laugh]
679
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:27,484
You're welcome, again.[chuckles]
680
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,487
soft choral music
681
00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,204
What the fuck?
682
00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:42,832
I can walk!
683
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:45,544
Oh, my God, it's a miracle!I can walk!
684
00:25:45,585 --> 00:25:48,755
Oh, Hallelujah!Praise Jesus!
685
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,674
[Blair]Praise Jesus indeed.
686
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,509
Can you help us get overthat heavenly hump?
687
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:53,760
Can you spare it?
688
00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:57,514
Can you spare us from a lifewithout our leader?
689
00:25:57,556 --> 00:26:01,893
Raise your hand if you cantake us to the promised land!
690
00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:04,229
Yes, yes, yes, oh!
691
00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:07,482
It's a miracle! It's a miracle!
692
00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,193
Take it away, Pastor Swafford!
693
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,362
Cue the video.
694
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:15,323
[Newell]Hello. It. Is. Me.
695
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,826
-Newell Swafford, pastor.-Yes!
696
00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:20,161
I love!All of you.
697
00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:24,249
Thank you. Fore!Resurrecting me.
698
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:28,503
Like Jesus, I am going home.
699
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:30,463
See you soon.
700
00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:34,092
God was nice. Good bye.
701
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,427
Yes!
702
00:26:35,468 --> 00:26:37,387
[cheers and applause]
703
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,222
You all deserve some thanks.
704
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:40,849
Get on up here. Get on up here.
705
00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:44,436
We are not worthy!We are not worthy!
706
00:26:44,477 --> 00:26:46,396
Whoo!
707
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,107
[screams and gasps]
708
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,112
Uh, no refunds.
709
00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:55,155
Thanks for coming.
710
00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:56,281
Run!
711
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:03,330
Fuck. Nomi.
712
00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:05,123
[Nomi]What you reading?
713
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,375
Uh. It's a jerk mag.
714
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:09,085
I was gonna go havea little Mo party,
715
00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:11,630
but now I'm too sad.
716
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:15,008
Hey, hey, stop. Stop.
717
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,468
[Mo sighs]
718
00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:19,471
solemn music
719
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,016
I don't want this.
720
00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:26,853
Okay, I understand.
721
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:30,106
If you can't be real with meabout a fucked up leg,
722
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:33,026
what else am I gonnahave to worry about?
723
00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:36,488
So that's why I think
724
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:40,033
if you ever hide some shitfrom me again,
725
00:27:40,075 --> 00:27:41,743
it's over.
726
00:27:41,785 --> 00:27:43,787
Don't you think I don't knowyou're older than me?
727
00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:46,081
You use talcum powderas deodorant.
728
00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:47,040
It's healthier.
729
00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:49,501
And your hair, it wassalt-and-pepper yesterday,
730
00:27:49,542 --> 00:27:51,211
and now it's just pepper.
731
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:52,212
I was going for something.
732
00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,422
Well, we'll figure it out.
733
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:56,800
'Cause I love your old ass.
734
00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:00,261
I love you too, Nomi.
735
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:08,019
-Come here.-Okay.
736
00:28:08,061 --> 00:28:09,437
How'd you find me?
737
00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:11,231
Dawn, she told me everything.
738
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:12,440
Oh.
739
00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:14,317
She's a really good friendto you, Mo.
740
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,362
Yeah, I guess she is.
741
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,322
You like your new house?
742
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:20,740
-Yeah, I love it.-Oh, good.
743
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:22,575
Yeah.[chuckles]
744
00:28:22,617 --> 00:28:24,035
Ooh, what's that painting?
745
00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:27,330
Oh, my God.Does nobody know the band Dawn?
746
00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:29,791
I'll get rid of it.
747
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,836
upbeat synth music
748
00:28:32,886 --> 00:28:37,436
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