Original subtitles

- We gotta figure out a way to talk to this girl. Ooh.

Maybe she can move in with my sister.

- We are family, baby, we stand together.

We're not letting her go nowhere.

Are you ready? - Yeah.

- We gonna do this the right way.

Good morning, sweetie.

- What's so good about it?

- Alright, I'm out. Go ahead, you got it.

- Sweetheart, I know this is hard for you.

- Is that all? - Oh! I'm tapping out.

- You're grounded. - Yeah!

- Or? - Or we're gonna send you

to Chicago to live with your aunt.

- Wait, really? When can I leave?!

I'll go pack right now.

- Damn, that didn't work. - No!

- Damn. - Well?

- What? - No, you were the one

that told her she could go.

- No. No. I told her if she don't start to behave,

we're gonna send her to Chicago with your sister.

- Okay, well, that's kinda like the same thing.

- Well...

maybe she'll start behaving. - Uh, no.

What don't you understand? She wants to go.

- I know. - So that wasn't good.

- Okay, well...

I'll just tell her she can't go.

- Oh, great, what is she gonna say?

Oh! Oh! "Why did you say that I could?!"

- Well. - "Well" won't work, baby.

I need you to think of something else.

- Okay. Okay, well, alright, well, we're your parents,

and we got a right to change our mind

and you ain't going nowhere.

- That is unfair! I am your daughter!

- No, no. Nah, you sound just like her.

- [laughs] That was good. - Yeah, that was good.

Alright, hold up, keep going, keep going.

- Okay. - Alright, alright.

Yeah, but, um, but we a family and we said you gotta stay

with us 'cause families stick together.

- You are not my family!

You're the worst parents in the whole wide world!

I hate you all!

- [chuckles] That was good. That was good.

Do that line again.

- BOTH: I hate you all! - [laughs] Baby.

- It's good, right? - Oh, oh.

- I don't think it is. - Hey, hun bun.

- How long you think she's been standing there?

- So my happiness is a joke to you now?

- Baby. - SANDRA: No.

Mom, was that supposed to be me?

- Yes, baby, that's what you look like.

- Okay, and Dad, you agree?

- Look, sweetie, you gotta stop taking yourself

so seriously, okay?

- No, you need to start taking me seriously.

I am in a lot of pain here, I mean...you know what?

- [door slams]

(funky, mellow music)

(grunts and groans) (crowd laughs)

- Now, that's good, right there.

That's some good ass cereal, right there.

Mm, boy!

(doorbell rings)

- Woo, it's decorating day, good morning everybody.

- I don't think he heard you, Cora.

- I guess not. (exclaims)

- She said good morning.

- Oh hey! (chuckles)

- Good morning, (claps) how you doin' this morning?

- Well, I'm good.

- [Cora] Good, good.

- This is cereal here. (chuckles)

(crowd laughs)

- Good morning.

Hey you, son, good morning!

- That's Philip.

- (stammers) Phillip, Phillip!

(crowd laughs)

You think the boy's sick or somethin'?

- No, he not sick.

- Why he doin' all of that?

- He-- (crowd laughs)

- Cora, you think he deaf?

No, he's not deaf.

- Cora, look at the way he moving, he can't hear.

(crowd laughs)

- Well, what are you moving for?

- Cora, I need to pray for him.

There's something wrong with him.

- Mr. Brown. - Nah, that boy deaf.

- Get out the way, get out the way.

- Lord, unclog his ears.

(crowd laughs)

With with the straw of your love,

just (sucks) suck the earwax right out of him.

(sucks) Suck the earwax. (crowd laughs)

Suck it out, Lord. - Ew!

- Open his ears for me, Lord.

You can do it like only You can do it, so do it.

♪ Please

Can you hear?

- Yes, I can hear.

Say somethin'.

- Say something.

- Cora, I healed him.

(crowd laughs) He'll watch me, Cora.

Oh, I'm healing.

- Hey, one more time.

(crowd laughs)

You see that? - Okay.

- That's what I do when I be prayin'.

- It's in the shoulders.

- It's in my shoulders. - Shoulders.

- You healed, Cora, he healed.

That boy is healed.

- He had on headphones.

- You always wanna take my healin' thunder.

(crowd laughs)

- How are you, Phillip?

- I'm good. - Well, good.

Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?

- Yeah, I had to eat breakfast first.

- Oh okay, but you shouldn't have your headphones on

at the table.

- Yeah well, you haven't eaten breakfast with him yet.

(grunts enthusiastically) (crowd laughs)

- Why he sound like he marching in mud boots?

(crowd laughs) Mm, mm.

- Like a dog eatin' peanut butter.

- Yeah! (munches mockingly) - Num, num.

That is so good. (crowd laughs)

Yeah, look at that cereal, mm.

- He sound like he constipated now.

(crowd laughs)

- Trying to push something out.

- Like he trying to reach a organism or somethin'.

(crowd laughs) - Mm-hmm, that's delicious.

- What?

- So delicious.

- [Phillip And Mr. Brown] What?

- So delicious.

- I think he's speakin' in tongues, Cora.

- Okay, I think we all gon' need some headphones.

(crowd chuckles) - Mm, mm-mm-mm.

- Go ahead and get ready for school, sweetheart.

- I am ready.

- Oh, so where's your sister?

- Oh boy, givin' us fits.

- She's still doin' that? (gagging)

- Yes.

- He's choking.

- Lord, please let him die.

(crowd laughs)

- This supposed to be applesauce?

- It's chunky applesauce, nobody told him.

- Who has chunky applesauce?

- It was on sale.

- I see why babies don't like this.

(crowd laughs)

- Son, you go get your book bag.

- Is Sandra coming?

- Yes, she's going to school.

- Okay.

(Leroy gags)

- Cora, how was your drive here?

- Oh, it was good.

How was your night with Sandra?

- Mm well, we talked to her this morning.

- It didn't go so well?

- No, it didn't.

(Cora sighs)

Oh God, at this point, I don't even know what to do.

- Well, maybe you should let Cora talk to her.

- No, Mr. Brown.

- Yes, Cora.

You know, Cora used to be a teacher

and a counselor at the school.

- Well, I knew about the teacher.

- Yeah, Cora, you can help them out, don't be like that.

- That would be amazing.

- Well, I don't know.

- Why the hesitation?

- Well, I'm older now, Jeremy, I just don't know.

- And?

- And I act a lot more like my momma then what I thought.

- Okay, and what does that mean?

- Ignorant.

(crowd laughs)

- Well, it means dealing with these kids,

they so disrespectful, I just wanna smash 'em in they head.

(exclaiming) - Cora.

- What?

- That ain't Christian-like.

- You right, Mr. Brown.

- Cora, you need to be delivered from that Madea demon.

(crowd laughs) - That's why

when I retired, I felt like I lost something.

- Yup, me too, I realized that, Cora. (mutters)

- What?

- Yeah, me too.

(crowd laughs) - Well Cora,

it will be a great help to us if you would talk to her.

- You sure about that?

- Yes.

- Well, do y'all mind signin' a waiver?

- A waiver?

- Yes, I need you to sign a waiver.

(laughs) In case I go off

on her, I don't want y'all to sue me.

(crowd laughs) - Nah, nah, nah.

You got our permission.

- Okay, (claps), all right.

- I'm ready.

- (sighs) Where's your sister?

- She said she's not going to school.

- What?

- Yeah, it was somethin' 'bout a fight for women's rights?

(groans) (crowd chuckles)

- She just took it on herself that she ain't gon' go

to school? - Mr. Brown?

- No, she tell y'all what to do,

or do y'all tell her what to do?

- Mm. - What you need

to go in there and do is do one of them.

(crowd laughs) - Look man, come on.

I'll take you, I'll come back and get her, let's go.

- Why can't I just take the bus?

- You know why you can't take the bus.

- Oh right, Lindor. - Lindor.

- The boy that's technically a man.

(crowd laughs)

- Yeah, what the hell is a Lindor.

- [Phillip] (stammers) I don't know.

- Come on son, let's get in the car.

- All right.

- So, Cora? (doorbell dings)

- Yes?

- Would you talk to her?

- Sure, (stammers) okay, I will, I will.

- Thank you so much. - I will.

- Cora.

- [Cora] Yes.

- Come here, let me pray for you.

- Yes, Mr. Brown, but I'm gon' be fine, I got this.

- Cora, you need to be prayed for.

That Madea spirit in you is strong.

(crowd laughs)

(groans) - Okay,

I got this now, don't worry about it, I got this.

- Whew, I don't got this.

(crowd laughs)

- She gon' tear Cora behind up.

- She gon' wear that ass out.

(crowd laughs) (stammers)

- Stop all that cussin'!

- Ya damn right.

- Would both of y'all stop?

- Knock, knock.

(door slams) Oo, hey.

- If you say knock and then, just walk in,

then what's the point?

- Okay, I'm sorry, sorry about that.

- Yeah, I know.

- Woo, okay.

- What do you want?

- Well, I just wanted to talk to you, that's all.

- Why?

- Well, your parents asked me to come talk to you.

So I just came to talk to you.

- That is so lame.

- Well, shouldn't you be gettin' ready for school?

- No, I don't wanna go.

- Well, you have to go to school.

- Well, I don't.

- Oh.

(crowd chuckles) And again, all right.

So tell me, what's goin' on with you?

- What do you mean?

- Well, last night, you just up

and left and you were grounded.

- Okay look, I'm not an airplane, all right?

So I can't be grounded.

- Oh.

- I am a free spirit.

- Mm, okay.

- Could you just get out of here please?

- But I wanna talk to you.

- And I don't wanna talk to you.

- Oh, well, but I'm a good listener.

- Okay.

Well then, let's just both sit here and listen to nothing

'cause I don't ever wanna talk to you.

- Woo, help me Lord, I'm just trying to get this together.

- So let me talk, okay?

- And I won't listen.

- Sandra.

I know you just didn't put those headphones on.

(crowd laughs)

You got me mixed up, honey.

You got me bent, as we used to say, honey.

Don't you know I will snatch those headphones,

right off your head?

Sandra.

So you just gon' ignore me like that?

You don't hear me!?

Girl!

Oo. (crowd laughs)

Help me, father, help me.

Okay, this is what we gon' do.

All right then, all right, I've got somethin' for you.

(tense, reverberant music)

Snatch it, that's what I wanna do,

is pound you in yo' head. (crowd laughs)

(music drowns out voice)

Disrespectful.

Oo, that's why I gave up teachin'.

(crowd laughs)

- ♪

- I'm giving y'all these from the Brown collection.

- [laughing] - Bam, bam!

- That don't go together. - What? Why the--okay,

what about--what about this right here?

- VINNY: [laughing] - Bam!

If you mesh them together.

- I think we need to forget that book

and just use that jacket. - [laughing]

- Y'all don't know fashion. - VINNY: [laughing]

- Tell me that don't match.

- Don't match. - That don't match.

- Bam! What about that?

- VINNY: No, don't match. - No.

- Look it--What about this? - Hey, Cora, how did it go?

- I need a drink.

- Do you drink? - No, I don't drink.

- Cora, what happened? - I mean, she was rude as...

- Hell! - You know I don't say that!

- Well, I said it for you. - I mean, she was so rude,

I can't even believe how rude she was!

- I know. I know. - Maybe you should call Madea,

Madea'll get her straight. - Now, you're right.

You're right, she would get her straight.

- Wa--wa--was she, uh-- - Oh, Madea's a heavyweight.

Oh, she can fight.

She--she fought in a brass knuckle contest one time.

- While topless. - Won.

- Okay, well, maybe we should call her.

- Yeah. - No, we can't call her.

- Why?

- You got insurance on that girl?

- At this point, Mr. Brown,

somebody gotta do something, okay?

- You don't wanna do that unless you got

a good insurance policy, 'cause Madea gon' probably

just choke her out.

- You know what? You young parents today,

I just dont get it. - What don't you get?

- I mean, you two are sitting here, scared of a teenager.

- Yeah, I agree with ugly man.

- And I agree with uglier man. - Thank you, BS.

- You cussed!

- No, that stands for Baby Satan.

- I'm gonna talk to her.

- LEAH: Hey-- - Ah--uh-uh, no. No.

- Well, look, now, I can-- y'all handle that,

I can't do that no more. - I ain't scared.

I'll go talk to her, I can-- y'all scared to talk to her.

I ain't scared. - Mr. Brown.

- Huh? - We're serious about this!

- You think I'm not?

- What do you know about today's teenagers?

- I have you to know people think I just got out

of high school.

- That's 'cause you did. - [laughing]

- I'mma go talk to her, I'm-- - No. No. You--

- MR. BROWN: Why? - You gonna make it worse.

- No, no, let him go on in there,

I can't wait for her to chew him up and spit his ass out.

- Baby, let him. It can't hurt, right?

- [scoffs] Okay, fine. - Yeah, go.

- Thank you. - Y'all sure about that?

- Yes. We are sure. Absolutely, go on.

- Why do I feel like y'all pushing me into a exorcist

or something? - You go.

- I'm 'bout to be exorcisted.

- Go on, she's over there. - Okay.

Cora, y'all pray for me, okay? - Okay.

- Cora. - CORA: Yes?

- If I don't make it back, you can have all my clothes.

- Okay. - I'm willing them to you.

- Thanks. - Don't try to wish me dead

'cause you want my stuff. - Okay.

- Cora, if I don't make it back, tell everybody that...

we are the children. - Okay.

- I believe that they our future, Cora.

- Okay, go ahead. - Cora--

- Would you go on over there and talk to her?!

- You almost cussed. - Feels like I'm gonna cuss.

- Go, go.

- [knocking]

- [exhales]

Who?

"TTYL"?

You gotta learn to speak English.

Hey.

I said hi.

Look, girl, I know you hear me.

- Are you crazy? - Yes, I'm crazy.

Leroy S. Brown, and the S is for "Sychotic."

Y'all don't wanna mess with me, I'm telling you.

- Why are you all messing with me?

- You need to get up and be ready for school.

- No, I don't, 'cause I'm not going.

- The devil is alive, somebody that look like you

and dress like you 'bout to go to school today.

- Okay, look, I don't know you.

- That's good, I don't know you either, so that's a good thing.

- Why's that? - That way no one

will suspect me when you come up missing.

They always suspect the men around first.

- Who are you? - What's wrong with you?

- Would you mind your business? - Okay, lil--look, girl,

you've been causing so much confusion--fusion.

You been causing a lot of stuff around here.

Now what's wrong--you gon' tell me what's wrong with you.

- Would you please get out? - Okay look, lil' girl.

I ain't in a mood right now. You see these green shoes?

They hurt. They look pretty, but they're hurting my feet

right now. My bunion is going like this.

"I'm gon' get you, sucker."

- That's disgusting. - And I'm trying to get

this place open so I can get my money back out of here.

The longer you sittin' around here, looking mean

and looking ugly in your spirit and in your "altitudes..."

- Looking ugly? - I didn't say "looking ugly,"

I said your altitude was ugly, don't do it.

- Look in the mirror, 'cause you're not

telling me that I'm ugly. - You don't try to correct me

while I'm fussing at you. - I have a mirror.

Do you want me to show you your face?

- Girl, I didn't say your face was--I said your--

your altitude was ugly. Pull it...together!

- Don't you put your hand in my face.

- Ain't nobody putting my hand in your face.

- Look, I said that I don't care.

- Well, why you don't care? - I don't wanna talk to you.

- You not talking to me? And you turned your--

I bet you you wanna talk to that little ol' boy

that drive the bus.

- Say what? - Oh, "Say--say what?"

- That little boy is none of your business.

- Okay. Okay, look. Girl, why you gotta be acting like this?

Don't you know that you can get much more out of people

when you're nice than you can walking around here mad!

- Would you leave me alone?! - Okay, look, girl.

Okay, just...go in there and tell your parents

that you're sorry, and I guarantee you,

things will get better.

- Look, I don't wanna be here.

- Have you looked around here? Look, just look around!

Look at all the fun stuff around here!

Look. Look at that lamp. Look. Look how it's glistening

up in the air; it's so much fun, watch, look at this.

Look at that. A spinning top, you see? That's fun!

- That's a hair brush. - There's fun stuff everywhere!

Look at the fun stuff around here!

- Okay, look, the only thing that's fun here

is hanging out with Lindor,

and they don't even want me to do that.

- You want me to tell you why? 'Cause it's your altitude.

- It's attitude. Attitude.

- Whatever it is. - A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. Attitude.

- You ain't the only one can spell too.

- Spell it. Spell it. Spell "Attitude,"

'cause I litereally just spelled it, so.

- A-T-T--your 'tude is bad.

- That's what I thought.

- But if you went and told your parents

that you're sorry, I'm telling you,

things would get better for you, you can turn this around.

- No, I don't think that'll work.

- Listen, I'm trying to tell you how to get

to your little boyfriend, who's technically "a man."

- Okay, I'm listening. - When you're nice, like me--

look.

When you're nice, you can get what you want.

So go down there and tell your mom and daddy,

"Look, mom and daddy--" - No.

- Do, like, the, "I'm sorry." - I don't sound like that.

- But you gotta do it like this, and that way

they'll know you're really sorry.

Say it, "I'm sorry." - "I'm sorry."

- Like that. - I--

- No-uh!

- "I'm sorry." - And then, in a couple days,

ask 'em can Lindor come over, ain't that his name?

Lin--Lind--Lindor? Lindor.

- You know that's his name. - I don't know his name!

I don't know him!

- If you don't know his name, then how come you just said it?

- I'm psychic.

I just told you that, I'm psychotic.

- My parents are just-- they're so...

- Okay, look, your parents know what you've been through,

but you got to try something different: nice.

Be nice. - Okay.

- ♪

- Alright.

- ♪

- Okay, but I'm telling you right now,

if this doesn't work, I'm gonna be even madder.

- You can scratch your butt and get gladder

for all I care, but if-- - Madder. I said madder.

- Okay, madder. It's gonna work.

- Alright. - Mm-hmm.

- Thank you. - [gasps] What the...?

Did you just say thank you?

- You heard what I said. - Girl. You said thank you.

- Okay, I said it. - You know you about to smile

'cause you wanna be nice, that's the new, nicer you.

- No, it's not. - Yes, it is.

Don't try to turn so I can't see it.

- [laughs] - You--see?

- [laughs] - Trying to hide

your vampire fangs from me, didn't you? Aww.

- [chuckles] - I know it.

- Alright. Oh, one more thing. - What is it?

- Can I borrow that for Halloween?

- You mean this old thang? - Yeah.

- This is a vintage. - Yeah, it's a vintage mess.

- Look here.

You gotta know how to work this stuff.

If you work it--you gotta learn how to--

- [laughs] - When I was young,

I'd just walk up-- [laughs] say--

- When you were young? - Yeah.

- How long ago was that?

- Just 'cause you done apologized don't mean

you can't come up missing.

- Okay.

- [laughs]

- Well, let me try something.

[laughs]

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪

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