All language subtitles for Al.Pereira.vs.the.Alligator.Ladies.2012.SPANISH.1080p.BluRay.x265-VXT
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1
00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:09,949
Babies, hold on.
2
00:02:11,042 --> 00:02:13,158
They're shooting at us.
3
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:16,953
I can't take them all!
4
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,912
I can't take them all!
5
00:02:24,917 --> 00:02:26,157
Babies,
6
00:02:26,292 --> 00:02:28,624
I didn't make it.
7
00:02:28,958 --> 00:02:30,414
Sweetie.
8
00:05:17,042 --> 00:05:21,706
My name is al pereira.
I'm the sharpest private detective,
9
00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:25,663
or as they say in the movies:
"Private eye".
10
00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:27,323
Highly private.
11
00:05:27,958 --> 00:05:30,916
The son of a bitch
is pretty funny.
12
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:55,906
I've seen this show a million times.
You make me sick.
13
00:07:57,792 --> 00:07:59,703
See you, bastard!
14
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:31,120
You're hot, naughty girl.
15
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,787
I was missing out on the party.
16
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,831
Very good.
17
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,328
Now you're doing it
a lot better.
18
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:58,000
Hello. - What brings you here?
19
00:15:00,375 --> 00:15:02,331
I'm just visiting.
20
00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,499
The youth these days!
21
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:21,405
Look at him, he's a sugar daddy.
22
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:27,244
A sugar daddy
is someone who pays all the bills.
23
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:31,040
Yes, but you never pay anything.
24
00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:35,332
Let's be serious for a moment.
25
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:37,206
Why?
26
00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:40,116
Because I say so.
27
00:17:08,708 --> 00:17:11,745
Son of a bitch,
you're gonna pay for it.
28
00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:14,036
And then you hit it!
29
00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:19,412
You gotta give it a slap. - Me?
30
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,912
Let's start at:
"Son of a bitch."
31
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,910
Do I really slap the camera?
Yes, whack it.
32
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:29,789
Really? - Yes.
33
00:17:30,292 --> 00:17:32,453
Well, don't break it
34
00:17:32,958 --> 00:17:35,620
but don't let it
catch you by surprise.
35
00:17:35,792 --> 00:17:37,373
Action!
36
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:45,620
Son of a bitch,
you're gonna pay for it.
37
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:05,248
Irene, turn your back to the camera
and stand very close to the mirror.
38
00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:10,207
More to the right.
39
00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:12,498
Over there.
40
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:15,991
When you're over there
41
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,618
you start moving to the rhythm
of "blues in the night".
42
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:27,659
And then you slowly
43
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,494
lift
44
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:34,245
your dress.
45
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:37,704
Slowly, very slowly.
46
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:39,456
Slowly.
47
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,081
Carry on.
48
00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,994
Carry on for a little while.
49
00:18:56,375 --> 00:19:01,074
Move your ass
slowly and rhythmically
50
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:08,747
while you're provoking him.
Imagine he's the camera.
51
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:15,990
That's it, very nice.
52
00:19:17,042 --> 00:19:18,373
Action!
53
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,036
Cut!
54
00:30:20,292 --> 00:30:21,623
Shame on them!
55
00:30:22,958 --> 00:30:27,281
Shame on them,
with their tits and asses.
56
00:31:37,417 --> 00:31:41,581
They're trying to lead us
on the path of doom.
57
00:31:42,417 --> 00:31:45,580
And they succeed,
and how they succeed.
58
00:31:46,375 --> 00:31:48,582
But all of this will end.
59
00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:51,706
It will end.
60
00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:56,202
It's too bad
because those asses are really nice.
61
00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:58,285
But it will all end.
62
00:32:43,917 --> 00:32:45,578
Shame on me.
63
00:32:46,667 --> 00:32:50,410
Life has forced al pereira
to become
64
00:32:51,375 --> 00:32:53,411
a sacristan.
65
00:32:55,750 --> 00:32:58,241
May god confound them.
66
00:32:59,292 --> 00:33:03,661
You are excommunicated,
the three of you.
67
00:33:54,917 --> 00:33:57,579
Politicians aren't
what they used to be.
68
00:33:58,167 --> 00:34:02,536
They are the ones
who steal from us, but then...
69
00:34:03,250 --> 00:34:06,788
When you hear about some stories!
Like in berlusconi's case...
70
00:34:07,125 --> 00:34:08,456
Well...
71
00:34:08,875 --> 00:34:12,197
That's what has destroyed
the Christian morality.
72
00:34:12,792 --> 00:34:17,206
Enough, you shameless women.
Get out! The three of you!
73
00:34:18,292 --> 00:34:22,581
Get lost, the three of you.
Shame on you.
74
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:27,287
Al pereira, you're a fag. - Fag.
75
00:34:28,333 --> 00:34:32,622
Ask your mother who the fag is.
Fag, fag.
76
00:34:34,083 --> 00:34:36,745
The Dean of canterbury
is my first cousin
77
00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:39,491
and I will have
the three of you excommunicated.
78
00:34:39,958 --> 00:34:43,246
Fag. Queer. - Bye.
79
00:34:47,375 --> 00:34:49,866
Being al pereira
80
00:34:50,417 --> 00:34:53,204
means having to fulfill
extremely unfair obligations.
81
00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:58,282
But I will remain firm
in my undying fate as an enforcer
82
00:34:58,417 --> 00:35:03,241
despite all of the whores
in the world that come here.
83
00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:07,411
Let's get'em.
84
00:35:52,917 --> 00:35:56,535
Don't move, you son of a bitch!
Put it down.
85
00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:59,040
I was expecting you at five.
86
00:36:01,333 --> 00:36:04,871
Al, I miss your eyes, your hands...
I miss fucking you!
87
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,161
Me too, baby.
88
00:36:07,292 --> 00:36:11,285
When will this nightmare be over?
When the producers decide.
89
00:36:11,417 --> 00:36:14,284
When does your contract go until?
I didn't sign anything.
90
00:36:14,417 --> 00:36:19,662
Really?
Of course not. I'm al pereira...
91
00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:31,493
This is very old,
it doesn't work.
92
00:36:32,667 --> 00:36:35,534
It can fire in one direction
or another and never hit you.
93
00:36:35,667 --> 00:36:37,783
You can't kill me with this.
94
00:36:37,917 --> 00:36:40,829
It's the only one I have. - So?
95
00:36:41,542 --> 00:36:43,954
Get lost.
96
00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:46,240
Come on.
97
00:36:46,667 --> 00:36:48,157
Come on.
98
00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:54,157
You're disappointing me,
but you have a great ass.
99
00:37:04,958 --> 00:37:07,290
Hi. - What's wrong?
100
00:37:08,542 --> 00:37:11,579
I couldn't kill al pereira.
101
00:37:11,708 --> 00:37:14,450
Why not?
You only had to shoot him twice.
102
00:37:14,583 --> 00:37:18,451
Yes, but he's so handsome.
Come on.
103
00:37:18,875 --> 00:37:22,618
And the gun was old.
See, I told you.
104
00:37:23,500 --> 00:37:26,162
Well, don't worry.
We'll try again.
105
00:37:26,458 --> 00:37:28,949
Really? Ok.
106
00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:39,572
What would we become
without the union's support?
107
00:37:47,167 --> 00:37:49,249
Shameless fools.
108
00:37:49,583 --> 00:37:51,915
You're evil and stupid.
109
00:37:52,042 --> 00:37:54,033
I will punish you.
110
00:37:54,167 --> 00:37:57,330
No dessert for one month!
111
00:37:57,917 --> 00:37:59,578
You're despicable.
112
00:37:59,708 --> 00:38:02,541
Shame on you. Shame on you!
113
00:38:03,583 --> 00:38:04,993
Filthy women.
114
00:38:05,125 --> 00:38:06,911
Fucking filthy women.
115
00:38:07,375 --> 00:38:12,495
Whip them 25 times.
Indecent daughters of Satan.
116
00:38:13,667 --> 00:38:16,124
I will punish you very hard.
117
00:38:20,583 --> 00:38:23,495
You have to become the way he is,
118
00:38:23,625 --> 00:38:27,573
your father,
the honorable fu manchu.
119
00:38:27,958 --> 00:38:31,325
Bigger, more evil, tougher.
120
00:38:31,667 --> 00:38:33,953
You have to become
121
00:38:34,333 --> 00:38:36,915
very evil assassins.
122
00:38:38,250 --> 00:38:40,366
You have to kill
123
00:38:41,042 --> 00:38:44,114
or be killed.
124
00:38:44,542 --> 00:38:46,703
Whores!
125
00:38:52,375 --> 00:38:55,947
I'm going to kill
those damn unionists.
126
00:38:57,042 --> 00:38:59,454
Do you remember
on the waterfront?
127
00:38:59,583 --> 00:39:02,495
Not really, I saw it
when I was a little girl.
128
00:39:02,833 --> 00:39:05,495
There was a unionist
who fucked it all up.
129
00:39:05,625 --> 00:39:07,331
All of it? - Yes.
130
00:39:07,458 --> 00:39:09,039
Not me.
131
00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:14,120
You're really someone,
don't you?
132
00:39:18,792 --> 00:39:21,283
Where are you taking me?
To the bedroom.
133
00:39:26,292 --> 00:39:27,623
Hello.
134
00:39:30,333 --> 00:39:32,790
Are you related to James Bond?
135
00:39:32,917 --> 00:39:34,373
Almost related.
136
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:37,867
Actually,
he's almost related to me.
137
00:39:38,708 --> 00:39:40,073
Yes, right.
138
00:39:40,708 --> 00:39:43,950
Tell us another.
139
00:39:50,917 --> 00:39:52,999
They are like little girls:
140
00:39:53,125 --> 00:39:55,366
Stupid and ridiculous
141
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,956
but cute.
142
00:40:09,750 --> 00:40:12,662
I think
he's getting quite horny.
143
00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:14,865
Yes.
144
00:40:19,208 --> 00:40:20,789
Hello, al.
145
00:40:21,125 --> 00:40:22,456
Come here.
146
00:40:24,125 --> 00:40:26,741
Come here. - Come here.
147
00:40:33,833 --> 00:40:36,074
How boring.
148
00:40:40,083 --> 00:40:41,573
Hello.
149
00:40:41,708 --> 00:40:44,120
Come on.
150
00:40:46,417 --> 00:40:49,705
Antonio, bend down. - Down?
151
00:40:49,833 --> 00:40:53,872
While we're rehearsing
I'll say: "Antonio!"
152
00:40:54,542 --> 00:40:57,124
Don't look at me and ask:
"What do I do now?"
153
00:40:58,083 --> 00:41:00,950
As if this was your first movie.
It's not a rehearsal.
154
00:41:01,083 --> 00:41:03,699
We are supposed to be shooting.
155
00:41:03,833 --> 00:41:06,745
And then you say:
"Bend down now."
156
00:41:06,875 --> 00:41:11,915
And I ask: "Should I
bend down like this or sideways?"
157
00:41:12,250 --> 00:41:14,957
Let's turn off the light
and see.
158
00:41:15,083 --> 00:41:17,449
No, you tell me.
159
00:41:17,583 --> 00:41:21,121
You gotta tell me
what I'm gonna do in the next scene.
160
00:41:21,250 --> 00:41:25,072
Say: "And then bend down here."
161
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:28,788
Just say whatever
I'll have to do
162
00:41:28,917 --> 00:41:31,499
and I'll do it.
163
00:41:32,208 --> 00:41:33,948
Alright? - Alright.
164
00:41:34,083 --> 00:41:36,790
It's your call. - I told you.
165
00:41:36,917 --> 00:41:40,830
Something was missing. I had to tell
him: "He's stiff as a corpse."
166
00:41:40,958 --> 00:41:43,370
Yes.
And he shoots us and we die.
167
00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:46,458
I did that randomly.
168
00:41:47,083 --> 00:41:49,039
Yes, but it was fine.
169
00:41:49,167 --> 00:41:51,499
Yes, but... well.
Whatever he says.
170
00:41:51,625 --> 00:41:54,537
Fine, let's go with that. Fine.
171
00:41:56,583 --> 00:41:57,948
Look.
172
00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:01,456
Keep on rolling.
173
00:42:02,125 --> 00:42:04,491
He's stiff as a corpse.
174
00:42:14,250 --> 00:42:16,787
The whims of life:
175
00:42:16,917 --> 00:42:21,616
In two seconds,
two bullets kill two whores.
176
00:42:23,792 --> 00:42:26,750
Might god
welcome them in his bosom.
177
00:42:27,750 --> 00:42:31,993
Coming up soon:
The latest adventures of...
178
00:42:32,417 --> 00:42:34,078
Al pereira!
179
00:43:47,167 --> 00:43:51,240
Cool fact:
One son of a bitch less.
180
00:44:21,917 --> 00:44:26,786
Your husband is a bastard.
Your husband is a bastard.
181
00:44:31,750 --> 00:44:34,867
Now stand over there, Irene.
Over there.
182
00:44:35,625 --> 00:44:38,788
But while moving your body.
183
00:44:40,708 --> 00:44:46,032
Al pereira is mine.
Al pereira is mine.
184
00:44:47,375 --> 00:44:53,489
I've never had it like this.
185
00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:59,198
Such a hard dick.
Such a hard dick.
186
00:45:00,458 --> 00:45:03,120
And the eastern wind.
187
00:45:03,417 --> 00:45:06,989
And the eastern wind.
188
00:45:07,958 --> 00:45:10,040
And...
189
00:45:10,792 --> 00:45:14,705
I let one off. - / let one off.
190
00:45:14,833 --> 00:45:18,621
Softly. - Softly.
191
00:45:19,542 --> 00:45:21,908
Turn around.
192
00:45:45,542 --> 00:45:47,703
I am al pereira.
193
00:45:54,083 --> 00:45:55,448
Hello.
194
00:45:59,625 --> 00:46:01,741
Pereira, you're a fag.
195
00:46:03,625 --> 00:46:04,990
Feels good!
196
00:46:20,792 --> 00:46:23,750
Learn from us! - Look.
197
00:48:32,542 --> 00:48:34,157
Antonio!
198
00:48:56,875 --> 00:49:00,572
I'm smoking
while I'm waiting to fuck a gunman.
199
00:49:02,250 --> 00:49:04,457
How fucked up!
200
00:49:11,125 --> 00:49:14,447
Why am I thinking
about a bastard like al pereira?
201
00:49:23,542 --> 00:49:25,578
He's a jerk.
202
00:49:26,333 --> 00:49:28,369
He has no authority.
203
00:49:28,875 --> 00:49:30,615
He has no balls.
204
00:49:32,083 --> 00:49:34,119
But I like him.
205
00:49:36,250 --> 00:49:37,990
Fuck.
206
00:49:38,125 --> 00:49:39,490
Fuck, man.
207
00:49:42,375 --> 00:49:46,948
Look how much time
it took us to get it right.
208
00:49:50,292 --> 00:49:52,157
Well, let's see if we can.
209
00:49:52,292 --> 00:49:54,248
I'm done. - Motors!
210
00:49:54,375 --> 00:49:56,161
Rolling. - Action!
211
00:49:56,667 --> 00:50:00,205
Minnesota in spring time...
How funny.
212
00:50:02,083 --> 00:50:05,200
Minnesota in spring time
is like Ohio in winter.
213
00:50:05,333 --> 00:50:07,745
How is winter in Ohio?
214
00:50:07,875 --> 00:50:11,072
Just like Minnesota in spring.
215
00:50:11,875 --> 00:50:14,412
But a little bit chillier.
216
00:50:22,042 --> 00:50:25,489
I miss Texas.
Why do you miss Texas?
217
00:50:26,042 --> 00:50:28,158
I don't know, but I miss Texas.
218
00:50:29,083 --> 00:50:31,699
Everyone misses something, right?
219
00:50:31,833 --> 00:50:34,245
Don't you remember that song?
220
00:50:34,750 --> 00:50:37,366
Which one? - / went to Texas...
221
00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:41,038
I went to Texas and I came back.
222
00:50:41,167 --> 00:50:44,534
Deep in the heart of Texas.
223
00:50:45,958 --> 00:50:48,290
Don't you remember? - No.
224
00:50:49,917 --> 00:50:53,785
You really don't know anything.
Yes.
225
00:50:54,292 --> 00:50:57,705
You don't know a thing about the
culture of your own country.
226
00:50:58,708 --> 00:51:00,073
Exactly.
227
00:51:00,583 --> 00:51:04,075
You're from Texas, right?
228
00:51:04,667 --> 00:51:06,032
Right?
229
00:51:06,375 --> 00:51:09,993
Yes, but I'm from the north.
Not from Minnesota or Ohio?
230
00:51:15,583 --> 00:51:18,165
I'm from timbuktu.
231
00:51:19,875 --> 00:51:22,036
I'm from timbuktu.
232
00:51:22,333 --> 00:51:24,449
Me too. - Really?
233
00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:26,539
So who is from Texas?
234
00:51:26,667 --> 00:51:30,114
The two of you.
I'm from timbuktu.
235
00:51:31,417 --> 00:51:36,411
So maybe this man
or the one over there is from Texas.
236
00:51:40,292 --> 00:51:41,327
Cut!
237
00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:48,537
I miss Texas.
Why do you miss Texas?
238
00:51:49,083 --> 00:51:51,495
Because I miss it, I don't know.
239
00:51:52,542 --> 00:51:55,124
Don't you remember the song:
240
00:51:56,042 --> 00:51:58,909
I went to Texas
and I came back...
241
00:51:59,458 --> 00:52:02,245
Deep in the heart of Texas.
242
00:52:03,458 --> 00:52:06,825
No.
It's where Chuck Norris comes from.
243
00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:08,949
Isn't that enough?
244
00:52:12,375 --> 00:52:15,242
Chuck Norris, the manly man.
245
00:52:36,125 --> 00:52:39,117
Going down
fo the cat's fountain.
246
00:52:40,083 --> 00:52:43,575
A young girl and a soldier
went down lo the cat's fountain.
247
00:52:45,917 --> 00:52:49,705
Ask her what her name is.
Marieta, marieta.
248
00:52:50,042 --> 00:52:53,785
Ask her what her name is.
Marieta with the bright eyes.
249
00:52:57,042 --> 00:52:59,749
Going down
fo the cat's fountain.
250
00:53:01,208 --> 00:53:04,621
A young girl and a soldier
went down lo the cat's fountain.
251
00:53:20,875 --> 00:53:24,413
Ask her what her name is.
Marieta, marieta.
252
00:53:25,083 --> 00:53:28,450
Ask her what her name is.
Marieta with the bright eyes.
253
00:54:57,417 --> 00:55:00,375
Look, the prince's residence.
Yes!
254
00:55:00,500 --> 00:55:02,456
Let's go. - Come on.
255
00:55:29,625 --> 00:55:34,198
Mrs. duck told Mr. duck:
"If you screw me, I'll kill you."
256
00:55:40,375 --> 00:55:44,914
Mrs. duck told Mr. duck:
"If you screw me, I'll kill you."
257
00:55:45,208 --> 00:55:49,656
Mrs. duck told Mr. duck:
"If you screw me, I'll kill you."
258
00:55:49,792 --> 00:55:51,657
Mrs. duck told Mr. duck...
259
00:56:11,875 --> 00:56:16,539
It's hot here.
What do you want? Who are you?
260
00:56:17,875 --> 00:56:19,240
Look.
261
00:56:23,750 --> 00:56:26,412
This isn't good anymore. - Why?
262
00:56:26,792 --> 00:56:28,453
It's not valid.
263
00:56:28,875 --> 00:56:32,447
But isn't this the hotel Lancaster
city of las palmeras?
264
00:56:33,083 --> 00:56:34,198
No.
265
00:56:34,333 --> 00:56:38,030
It's the hotel Lancaster city
of Tegucigalpa.
266
00:56:40,333 --> 00:56:41,493
But...
267
00:56:41,625 --> 00:56:45,493
We are fully booked.
All the rooms are taken.
268
00:56:46,542 --> 00:56:48,908
What can I say? What can we do?
269
00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:52,574
I don't know.
So your cousin tricked us.
270
00:56:52,708 --> 00:56:57,122
Of course he did! He always does.
He's a trickster!
271
00:56:58,125 --> 00:56:59,490
So...
272
00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:02,661
Which options do we have?
273
00:57:04,167 --> 00:57:07,705
I can offer you a small room.
274
00:57:07,833 --> 00:57:10,290
It's more expensive but cozy.
275
00:57:10,750 --> 00:57:13,992
It's in the other hotel. - Ok.
276
00:57:14,542 --> 00:57:18,205
If you're masochists
you're welcome to stay here.
277
00:57:18,750 --> 00:57:21,207
Fine, so we'll stay here.
278
00:57:21,583 --> 00:57:24,575
Talk to the manager,
he's over there.
279
00:57:24,708 --> 00:57:26,494
Thank you. - You're welcome.
280
00:57:27,708 --> 00:57:29,073
Bye.
281
00:57:33,250 --> 00:57:35,741
I have a bad feeling
about those two.
282
00:57:49,500 --> 00:57:52,116
Hello, ladies. How are you?
283
00:57:58,625 --> 00:58:01,116
So we can talk in Spanish.
284
00:58:01,417 --> 00:58:03,453
That's better. - A lot easier.
285
00:58:04,333 --> 00:58:08,326
How can I help you?
We were told you've a room for us.
286
00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:10,832
Your friend sent us here.
287
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:13,331
I see.
288
00:58:18,250 --> 00:58:19,615
This is it.
289
00:58:20,417 --> 00:58:22,032
Room 67.
290
00:58:22,583 --> 00:58:26,246
It's the only one left.
Perfect, lucky us.
291
00:58:27,750 --> 00:58:30,583
Over there,
at the end of the hallway.
292
00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:32,323
Thank you.
293
00:58:32,708 --> 00:58:35,199
See you later. - See you later.
294
00:58:37,208 --> 00:58:40,530
Wait! - What?
295
00:58:40,667 --> 00:58:43,534
Should I make you
a charcoal drawing?
296
00:58:43,875 --> 00:58:45,240
Why?
297
00:58:45,958 --> 00:58:49,701
As a souvenir.
So you remember these islands.
298
00:58:50,333 --> 00:58:53,075
People get themselves
a charcoal drawing.
299
00:58:53,458 --> 00:58:56,370
It's a famous souvenir
around here.
300
00:58:56,958 --> 00:59:00,951
Or would you like my boss
to paint you a gouache painting.
301
00:59:01,250 --> 00:59:04,447
He does great, beautiful ones.
Gouache?
302
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:07,040
He's the best gouache painter here.
303
00:59:07,167 --> 00:59:10,864
No thanks. I'm tired
and want to lay down a while.
304
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,161
Let's go. - Wait!
305
00:59:13,958 --> 00:59:15,949
Not this way. - No?
306
00:59:16,083 --> 00:59:18,745
That's the eastern area.
It's completely booked.
307
00:59:18,875 --> 00:59:20,661
And room 67? - This way.
308
00:59:20,792 --> 00:59:23,989
It's in the western area.
0k, thanks.
309
00:59:29,208 --> 00:59:30,994
Oh my god.
310
00:59:58,917 --> 01:00:00,532
Wake up!
311
01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:35,198
Come here!
312
01:00:40,750 --> 01:00:42,115
Come here.
313
01:00:48,292 --> 01:00:49,657
Come here!
314
01:00:50,750 --> 01:00:52,115
Come here!
315
01:00:52,875 --> 01:00:54,536
Come here!
316
01:00:55,667 --> 01:00:57,703
1 will kill you!
317
01:01:17,625 --> 01:01:20,332
Come over here.
318
01:01:24,292 --> 01:01:26,408
Are you Muslim or stupid?
319
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:30,822
I'm from here, from malaga.
I know nothing.
320
01:01:32,625 --> 01:01:33,990
Fuck.
321
01:01:39,792 --> 01:01:42,829
I was worried about refueles.
Don't worry.
322
01:01:43,125 --> 01:01:45,116
He's an innocent jerk.
323
01:01:45,250 --> 01:01:47,957
They all are.
What do you know about his wife?
324
01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:52,247
I hardly know her. But I think
she's an old hag and a bitch.
325
01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:55,037
I don't mean it in an offensive way.
Yes, right.
326
01:01:55,167 --> 01:01:58,659
If she were to catch you,
she would rip your heart out.
327
01:01:59,708 --> 01:02:01,414
Nice haircut.
328
01:02:01,875 --> 01:02:04,537
I have worn it so many times.
329
01:02:06,208 --> 01:02:08,164
I've got a really long one.
330
01:02:08,458 --> 01:02:10,540
It reaches the ground.
331
01:02:12,292 --> 01:02:16,490
There is no way manolito's
could reach the ground.
332
01:02:18,542 --> 01:02:22,581
So what turns agripina on?
Neron of course.
333
01:02:22,875 --> 01:02:25,241
Yes, a very loving mother...
334
01:03:11,083 --> 01:03:12,493
Did you read the Bible?
335
01:03:12,625 --> 01:03:17,244
To me the Bible
is like the lord of the rings.
336
01:03:17,750 --> 01:03:18,910
Don't say that.
337
01:03:19,083 --> 01:03:22,246
The Bible is full of morals
338
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:24,536
and logic.
339
01:03:25,167 --> 01:03:29,160
So what? What about agripina?
She's a bitch.
340
01:03:29,292 --> 01:03:33,365
I'm having an affair with her.
If you bash her I'll kick your ass.
341
01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:36,742
Cool down,
I wasn't bashing agripina.
342
01:03:36,875 --> 01:03:39,992
Agripina is a fantastic woman.
Woman?
343
01:03:40,417 --> 01:03:43,614
You know she's a transvestite,
right? I love transvestites.
344
01:03:43,750 --> 01:03:45,832
I thought so.
345
01:03:46,208 --> 01:03:47,948
I really love transvestites, too.
346
01:03:48,083 --> 01:03:51,826
They are funny
and fantastic persons.
347
01:03:52,250 --> 01:03:55,697
Naive and healthy.
Very in vogue right now.
348
01:03:58,125 --> 01:04:00,707
You wanted
the western area? This is it.
349
01:04:01,375 --> 01:04:05,539
We can get dressed if you prefer.
This is where you belong.
350
01:04:06,167 --> 01:04:08,749
I don't care
if you're dressed or not.
351
01:04:08,875 --> 01:04:10,661
The important thing is...
352
01:04:11,042 --> 01:04:14,159
That the guests
of the hotel always die.
353
01:04:14,292 --> 01:04:17,489
Just like everyone else.
Everybody dies eventually.
354
01:04:18,083 --> 01:04:20,995
That's why you have to die.
355
01:04:21,292 --> 01:04:24,455
What a harsh way to say it,
don't you think?
356
01:04:24,833 --> 01:04:26,369
Get dressed.
357
01:04:26,667 --> 01:04:30,990
Young ladies,
I can even see your alligators.
358
01:04:37,667 --> 01:04:40,329
Heil Hitler! Follow me.
359
01:04:41,042 --> 01:04:43,283
Do you know rajoy?
360
01:04:44,292 --> 01:04:49,116
He's the savior of the fatherland
from the thieves and the wretched.
361
01:04:50,708 --> 01:04:52,118
Rajoy says:
362
01:04:52,250 --> 01:04:55,947
"We have to save our fatherland
from thieves and wretched."
363
01:04:56,875 --> 01:04:59,036
What is he talking about?
Follow me.
364
01:04:59,375 --> 01:05:02,538
Where are we going?
This room is free.
365
01:05:02,958 --> 01:05:05,415
This room is free.
366
01:05:06,417 --> 01:05:08,578
This room is free.
367
01:05:09,375 --> 01:05:13,288
Rajoy says:
"I will turn the light on."
368
01:05:14,250 --> 01:05:16,616
The light is on.
369
01:05:17,583 --> 01:05:20,370
Come on in. - Thank you.
370
01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:23,950
Do you need anything more?
We are fine.
371
01:05:24,083 --> 01:05:27,120
Rajoy says: "You're really hot."
372
01:05:28,167 --> 01:05:30,579
I'm leaving, bye.
373
01:05:31,042 --> 01:05:33,078
Bye, thank you.
374
01:05:33,500 --> 01:05:37,118
Rajoy says: "Freedom? Bullshit!"
375
01:06:13,292 --> 01:06:17,035
Honestly, your singing is bad.
You really sing awful.
376
01:06:20,292 --> 01:06:24,240
They gave me three awards on TV.
Right, three awards.
377
01:06:24,667 --> 01:06:26,623
Well I didn't get any.
378
01:06:28,917 --> 01:06:31,750
And how do you sing?
You sing terrible.
379
01:06:31,875 --> 01:06:34,036
Listen honey,
it's not my profession.
380
01:06:34,167 --> 01:06:37,739
What do you do?
I'm an inspector for bankia.
381
01:06:38,417 --> 01:06:43,662
Well, so you earn a lot of money.
Not really. If they pay me, I do...
382
01:06:45,167 --> 01:06:47,909
Let's leave those topics to men.
383
01:06:48,042 --> 01:06:51,489
Let's get dressed
and go to the pool.
384
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,992
Let's go to the open sea. - Yes!
385
01:07:39,292 --> 01:07:42,580
Olé, the nuns of the sacromonte.
386
01:07:43,708 --> 01:07:45,073
Yeah.
387
01:07:50,208 --> 01:07:52,073
Mr. pereira!
388
01:07:52,875 --> 01:07:54,581
Mr. pereira!
389
01:07:58,000 --> 01:07:59,706
Mr. pereira!
390
01:08:00,625 --> 01:08:02,161
Mr. pereira!
391
01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:09,865
Hey, boy!
392
01:08:10,667 --> 01:08:13,283
Are you talking to me?
Mr. pereira.
393
01:08:13,708 --> 01:08:17,451
Here's an anonymous letter
from my father.
394
01:08:20,208 --> 01:08:23,575
Who is your father?
My father is the minister.
395
01:08:24,042 --> 01:08:28,581
The minister of what?
The minister of gambling and vices.
396
01:08:29,750 --> 01:08:32,412
Of what? - Gambling and vices!
397
01:08:33,208 --> 01:08:35,199
So he's Teddy bolista.
398
01:08:35,542 --> 01:08:37,658
Yes, Teddy bolista.
399
01:08:38,667 --> 01:08:41,500
If you don't let my son go,
400
01:08:42,167 --> 01:08:44,579
you will die. You'll die!
401
01:08:44,875 --> 01:08:46,911
Why? - Because you'll die.
402
01:08:47,042 --> 01:08:48,202
You'll die.
403
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,207
If you don't let me go you'll die.
404
01:08:52,167 --> 01:08:54,954
And why will I die?
Because you'll die.
405
01:08:55,083 --> 01:08:56,448
You'll die.
406
01:08:57,458 --> 01:09:00,700
What are you saying?
That you'll die!
407
01:09:01,875 --> 01:09:03,456
You'll die!
408
01:09:05,333 --> 01:09:06,869
You'll die!
409
01:09:07,708 --> 01:09:10,290
You're the one
who is gonna die, jerk.
410
01:09:12,625 --> 01:09:15,116
I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
No! Daddy!
411
01:09:16,042 --> 01:09:19,785
Careful, I'm the president
of the judicial system.
412
01:09:22,833 --> 01:09:24,994
We weren't doing anything.
413
01:09:29,250 --> 01:09:33,163
We were peaceful, daddy.
414
01:09:34,792 --> 01:09:37,329
Now I recognize you.
You're my son!
415
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:41,866
Oh, my god!
416
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:43,365
Daddy! - He's my son!
417
01:09:43,667 --> 01:09:46,158
He's my son. - Daddy!
418
01:09:46,292 --> 01:09:49,659
It's a shame he's still an imbecile.
Thanks daddy.
419
01:09:49,792 --> 01:09:52,124
I love you too.
I love you a lot, daddy.
420
01:09:52,542 --> 01:09:56,455
I love you. - My son!
421
01:09:57,125 --> 01:09:58,615
I'm your son.
422
01:10:01,125 --> 01:10:03,332
What do you think
about al pereira?
423
01:10:04,125 --> 01:10:07,037
Don't bring him up, understood?
Why?
424
01:10:07,167 --> 01:10:09,374
He's a good guy. - A good guy?
425
01:10:09,500 --> 01:10:11,912
He's a son of a bitch
and too mellifluous.
426
01:10:12,042 --> 01:10:14,624
Mellifluous? What's that?
427
01:10:15,292 --> 01:10:18,204
That's when somebody
talks sweet and tricks people.
428
01:10:18,333 --> 01:10:21,496
I never heard that word,
but if you say so.
429
01:10:24,083 --> 01:10:25,448
Oh, yes.
430
01:10:26,792 --> 01:10:29,204
You have great hands.
They almost feel like...
431
01:10:29,625 --> 01:10:31,411
They feel like feet.
432
01:10:31,958 --> 01:10:33,448
Bitch!
433
01:10:33,583 --> 01:10:36,370
Today, February the 23rd.
434
01:10:36,500 --> 01:10:39,082
Is it the 23rd or the 24th?
435
01:10:39,417 --> 01:10:40,748
No.
436
01:10:41,292 --> 01:10:44,830
February the 23rd.
The 24th, daddy.
437
01:10:44,958 --> 01:10:46,539
Shut up, son.
438
01:10:48,375 --> 01:10:51,208
February the 24th,
two thousand...
439
01:10:52,958 --> 01:10:56,780
That isn't important.
Let's cut to the chase.
440
01:10:57,167 --> 01:10:59,624
I decided to pass on all my goods
441
01:10:59,750 --> 01:11:02,583
to the national association
of poor whores
442
01:11:02,958 --> 01:11:07,201
so they can use them for charitable
works or other good deeds.
443
01:11:12,958 --> 01:11:16,121
By the way, nobody talked
about what will be mine.
444
01:11:16,250 --> 01:11:20,448
Of course, I'll be getting
the biggest piece of the cake.
445
01:11:20,583 --> 01:11:24,155
I'm leaving. I don't want to know
anything about these atrocities.
446
01:11:24,625 --> 01:11:27,822
Which atrocities?
This is a will.
447
01:11:28,417 --> 01:11:32,911
It's bad enough I've died,
but you also want to take it all.
448
01:11:39,042 --> 01:11:42,409
That's fucking strong!
This is Orson welles' tobacco.
449
01:11:42,542 --> 01:11:46,990
Were you Orson welles' lover?
Yes and no.
450
01:11:48,667 --> 01:11:50,248
That means yes, right?
451
01:11:50,375 --> 01:11:54,368
I was eight years old then,
but I killed him.
452
01:12:00,042 --> 01:12:03,534
So what has that damn al pereira
got to do with you?
453
01:12:04,125 --> 01:12:06,867
We used to have
454
01:12:07,417 --> 01:12:10,329
a little romance
and three grandchildren.
455
01:12:10,458 --> 01:12:12,494
Grandchildren?
You mean children.
456
01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:15,662
He's old,
he only conceives grandchildren.
457
01:12:18,542 --> 01:12:21,659
Mustafa kemal
has made me his sole heir.
458
01:12:21,792 --> 01:12:25,284
I'm leaving! I don't wanna know
anything about this damn will.
459
01:12:25,417 --> 01:12:28,534
You won't get a single cent.
So what?
460
01:12:30,125 --> 01:12:33,492
As al pereira's favorite child
461
01:12:34,833 --> 01:12:39,998
I demand
the accusation to be reviewed.
462
01:12:40,500 --> 01:12:42,661
Review the accusation?
463
01:12:45,542 --> 01:12:49,660
Go and play with your toys
and leave the grown ups alone.
464
01:12:52,542 --> 01:12:57,866
I contest that will
for false prevarication, bribery
465
01:12:58,708 --> 01:13:00,699
and other trivialities.
466
01:13:06,167 --> 01:13:09,079
So who will inherit the money?
467
01:13:09,208 --> 01:13:11,574
I will, of course.
468
01:13:11,708 --> 01:13:15,246
What? What about us?
Hell no, I should hope not.
469
01:13:18,167 --> 01:13:20,408
What the hell is he saying?
470
01:13:20,542 --> 01:13:23,705
And what about us?
That's not fair.
471
01:13:25,083 --> 01:13:26,744
What about us?
472
01:13:27,542 --> 01:13:30,249
I'm the one and only.
473
01:13:30,583 --> 01:13:33,290
The one and only...
474
01:13:41,792 --> 01:13:45,831
You're a darling.
I always knew we would get along.
475
01:13:45,958 --> 01:13:48,199
I wouldn't be so sure,
I'm a beast.
476
01:13:48,667 --> 01:13:50,828
That's how I like them.
477
01:13:50,958 --> 01:13:54,576
Enough cuddling!
Let's draw some conclusions.
478
01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:59,289
Conclusions!
479
01:14:01,208 --> 01:14:04,575
He's so cute, the fool.
How cute, look at him.
480
01:14:05,083 --> 01:14:08,120
Conclusions! Conclusions!
481
01:14:08,500 --> 01:14:12,163
What a son of a bitch.
I can't take it any longer!
482
01:14:12,292 --> 01:14:15,955
Either you two come to bed with me
or I will die again.
483
01:14:17,167 --> 01:14:19,499
So go on and die.
484
01:14:22,042 --> 01:14:24,829
Conclusions,
I want more conclusions!
485
01:14:25,792 --> 01:14:28,283
Conclusions, conclusions.
486
01:14:31,167 --> 01:14:32,623
Action!
487
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,833
This is a story
told by an idiot,
488
01:14:46,750 --> 01:14:50,572
full of sound and fury,
489
01:14:51,333 --> 01:14:53,915
signifying nothing.
490
01:14:56,375 --> 01:14:58,457
This is a story
491
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:01,449
told by an idiot,
492
01:15:03,500 --> 01:15:06,537
full of sound...
493
01:15:14,542 --> 01:15:19,081
This is a story
told by an idiot...
494
01:15:19,208 --> 01:15:20,072
Told by...
495
01:15:20,208 --> 01:15:25,032
Told by an idiot,
a son of a bitch,
496
01:15:25,167 --> 01:15:28,910
signifying nothing.
497
01:15:30,917 --> 01:15:36,287
Signifying absolute shit.
Shit! Absolute shit.
498
01:15:38,125 --> 01:15:42,164
Dance! Come on.
Move, all of you.
499
01:15:44,625 --> 01:15:46,786
You dance, too.
500
01:16:07,667 --> 01:16:09,703
This is a story
501
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,082
told by an idiot,
502
01:16:12,375 --> 01:16:15,572
full of sound and fury,
503
01:16:16,458 --> 01:16:18,915
signifying nothing.
504
01:16:19,042 --> 01:16:20,828
This is a story
505
01:16:21,750 --> 01:16:25,413
told by an idiot,
a dork, a son of a bitch,
506
01:16:26,083 --> 01:16:27,448
full of
507
01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:31,205
sound and fury,
508
01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:35,492
signifying nothing.
509
01:16:36,833 --> 01:16:39,825
This is the truth. - Cut!
510
01:16:42,875 --> 01:16:44,240
Shut up.
511
01:16:44,792 --> 01:16:47,158
Shut up at once!
512
01:16:49,333 --> 01:16:52,120
Should we carry on?
No. He said cut.
513
01:16:52,417 --> 01:16:55,784
I said cut, but...
We were quite into it.
514
01:16:56,083 --> 01:16:59,041
Yes, you were so into the dancing
515
01:16:59,500 --> 01:17:03,664
that I let you go on and thought:
"Shit, I hope they won't get angry."
516
01:17:04,208 --> 01:17:06,699
You can see paco's whole head.
517
01:17:07,375 --> 01:17:08,740
Well,
518
01:17:09,917 --> 01:17:10,952
that's it.
519
01:20:21,208 --> 01:20:25,622
We've made al pereira look like
a complete dickhead,
520
01:20:25,750 --> 01:20:27,911
but it doesn't matter at all.
521
01:20:33,625 --> 01:20:35,832
Subtitles: Laletrapequena. Com
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