Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

-Hey, Olive. What are you doing? -Don't move!

Why can't I move?

Because, for my Black History Month presentation,

I'm making a memory quilt

traditionally used by African-American women

to document national, family, and personal histories.

Right now, I'm preserving the memory

of me telling you that I'm making a memory quilt.

I'm glad you found something connected to your talent to do.

I'm really struggling.

How am I supposed to fit the entire history of African-American music

into a two minute song?

All I have so far is

♪ Ella Fitzgerald read the New York Herald ♪

♪ At the top is Aretha ♪

♪ And everyone's beneath her ♪

Why don't you scat?

Hey, you think I should work scat singing into my song?

No, I mean scat. Go away.

Your bad song is making me sad,

and I don't want any unhappy memories in my quilt.

You're right.

I'm just going to take all these books and albums

and go into the sound booth.

And I'm not coming out until I write a great song.

♪ I service the school by rocking! ♪

Fletcher, what are you doing?

Preparing my presentation.

Skadoosh!

Fletcher, it's Black History Month, not Jack Black History Month.

I thought it was weird he got a whole month.

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing Something different we all bring ♪

♪ Don't you let 'em Clip your wings ♪

♪ You got it, you got it ♪

♪ We're on fire and we blaze In extraordinary ways ♪

♪ 365 days ♪

♪ We got it, we got it ♪

♪ You can dream it ♪

♪ You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional Exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional Exceptional ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Whoo!

(Chyna snoring)

(gasps)

(sighs)

Man, good thing that tambourine fell on me

and not that anvil that's hanging up there for no apparent reason.

(soft piano music playing)

What in the world is going on?

There you are! I've been looking all over for you!

Cameron? Where are we?

And why are you all dressed up?

I already told you, I'm not going to pretend to be your date to the prom.

Cameron? Who's Cameron?

Listen, dollface, you gotta get onstage.

People come to The Cotton Club to hear you sing, not me.

Last time I sang, they threw soup at me.

And it was still in the can.

Wait, wait, wait, wait! We're at The Cotton Club?

In 1930s New York?

Mom and dad flip out if I go to the bathroom without telling them first.

What's the matter, Ella? You flipped your wig?

Ella? Why did you just call me Ella?

Because that's your name.

-Ella Fitzgerald. -What?

(gasps)

This is insane.

I look amazing. But this is insane!

Come on, move those gams. You're on in two minutes!

I'm singing? At The Cotton Club? In two minutes?

Wait! Wait! There's just one thing I really need to know.

Does an entire steak dinner really only cost a nickel?

Because my grandma says that everything in the '30s cost a nickel.

Hey, what's that panel supposed to be?

This is one of my favorite memories,

the day you blew out your birthday candles

and your party hat caught fire.

I don't know why I wished for that.

Olive, you can't put that on your quilt!

It makes me look foolish.

Does the quilt make you look foolish

or does your foolishness make you look foolish?

I don't have time for your brain teasers!

I don't want anything embarrassing about me in your quilt!

-Now give me that! -No!

Hey!

-Seriously, give me that quilt! -No!

Whoa!

(thuds)

Do you look sad because you lost your sheep?

Psst.

(softly) Cameron.

Cameron.

Excuse me.

Cameron! I mean, piano guy!

I don't know what's going on, but I've got to get out of here.

What? Ella, if you don't sing, we'll have to answer to the boss.

He doesn't look that scary.

What about his goons?

Okay. Now, they look adequately scary.

But I cannot sing this song. I don't know the words.

You better come up with something!

(scatting)

(whistling)

(howling)

(continues scatting)

Hey!

(All applauding)

Ella, I've never heard anything like that.

-What do you call it? -Scat.

All right, I'll leave. I was just asking a question.

That was the cat's meow.

You got pipes, kid. I'll give you that.

Eh. I've heard better.

How much to keep a canary like you singing?

I don't know, a nickel?

A nickel! Well, you drive a hard bargain but a nickel it is.

What are you doing throwing around nickels for?

You want to spend a nickel, buy me a diamond necklace.

What are you doing?

You know people like us aren't allowed in the audience.

Wait. Are you saying only white people can watch the show?

So, we can work here and make money for you,

but because of our skin color we can't sit in the audience as equals?

Well, that's stupid!

Hey, everyone! Come out here!

Wow! This place is really nice!

I just want to let you guys know that things are gonna be better for us.

Because people like Ella Fitzgerald

are gonna stand up against discrimination.

And until things change,

I will never perform in a place like this again.

And one day, you're going to see how wrong you are!

I'll show you!

Wait until you see a picture of President Obama!

Or Nelson Mandela's Nobel Prize.

Or find out how much Oprah makes. It's more than a nickel!

Get a load of this, you jerks!

Um, I mean...

Hallelujah!

Where have you been?

You are late for choir again!

Dad? Why are you dressed like that?

How else would a reverend dress?

You're a reverend?

I don't think I've ever seen you awake in church before.

Where were you?

Were you working on that popular music again?

Now, you know I support that,

but on Sunday your place is in the church, Aretha.

Hey, am I Aretha Franklin?

Well, that's what we named you.

Of course, my first choice was Benjamin Franklin,

but your mother has no sense of humor.

Oh, wow, I am awesome!

Aretha, I did not raise you to be boastful.

Do you hear me bragging about how handsome I am?

I mean I could, but I don't!

You know, maybe you should ease up on me,

because something tells me

I might make this popular music thing work out.

I don't know. Some of that popular music worries me.

All that talk of "rocking around the clock."

Why are they up so late?

Now get up there for your solo. You're doing Amazing Grace.

Oh, it'll be amazing.

♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ How sweet the sound ♪

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪

♪ I once was lost ♪

♪ But now I'm found ♪

♪ Was blind, but now I see ♪

♪ A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Lift me up and set me free ♪

♪ A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

G-R, A-C-E!

♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ Amazing, amazing, amazing ♪

♪ How sweet the sound! ♪

♪ Grace, grace, grace, ♪

♪ Was lost but now I'm found! ♪

(All applauding)

Mom, I don't think this is the Silverberg bar mitzvah.

But I made all this kugel!

(beeps)

Hey, Olive.

Sorry, Fletcher, I can't talk right now.

I'm sewing a panel of you in swim class.

You know, you've been working so hard on that quilt,

maybe you should just leave the Ant Farm and take a break.

Just leave the quilt right there in the Ant Farm,

and walk away, and take a break.

Once again, leaving the quilt right there in the Ant Farm, unattended.

Nice try, Fletcher.

I am going to take a break but I'm going to leave my quilt in my locker,

where you can't get to it.

Like stealing candy from a candy store.

Staffed completely by babies.

Ah, my quilt should be safe in here.

Especially since it will be guarded by my pet ferret, Bitey.

(Fletcher screaming)

I call this one, Fletcher's First Kiss.

So, what did you think?

You managed to combine church music and popular music

into something incredible.

Much like you managed to combine

egg noodle and cottage cheese into something equally incredible!

I'll mail you the recipe, bubeleh.

You'll see, Dad. One day, I'll record hit records, play sold-out concerts,

and be the Queen of Soul!

I don't doubt it for a second.

I don't know. A musician? It's not a very stable profession.

I'm going into typewriter repair. There will always be a need for that.

Well, if everything's good here,

I kind of have a song I need to write.

(gasps) Wait!

Take some kugel!

Where's my kugel?

Now, I'm hungry.

Hey, I've got a nickel.

Maybe I can go back to the 1930s and get a steak dinner.

What? Where am I?

(loud screaming)

(snarls, screams)

(screams)

(screaming)

Cut!

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

Michael! Will you please keep her out of the shot?

Sorry, I'll take care of it.

Wait, you're Michael Jackson?

Is this the Thriller video?

(laughs)

Yes. And you may be my little sister, Janet,

but right now, I need you to...

Beat it!

Yeah, beat it!

I can't believe this. I'm Janet Jackson!

Annie, are you okay?

Whoa! This is amazing. I'm such a huge fan!

Well, who isn't? I'm the King of Pop!

Just ask the man in the mirror! Hee hee!

Shamon!

I mean, I'm a huge fan of Janet Jackson.

Well, good for you.

You have to believe in yourself.

Even if you weren't in the Jackson 5.

Or as most people call us,

Michael Jackson and Four Other Dudes.

Don't be silly.

People know your name, Jermaine.

My name is Tito.

And don't you forget it, Mr. Jackson, sir.

Thanks, Toto.

Anyway, quit trying to get in the video.

Michael's the star of the family. Just accept it.

Well, Janet's going to be a star, too!

Give me a beat!

(pop music playing)

Hey, guys, check this out!

Five, four, three, two, one!

(screams)

(thuds)

(exclaims)

(screams)

Olive, you're never going to believe this.

I had the craziest dream.

Lexi made a kugel!

(clanging)

We've really need to find a better place to keep that anvil.

Forget that. Let's go. Our presentations are starting now.

What? I still have to write my song.

You've got to stall them!

How? I mean, I don't know if I could pull it off,

but I guess I could try to be verbose and long-winded.

Interesting factoid about the term "long-winded"...

You know what? I think you can pull it off.

African-American Mark Dean led the team responsible

for creating the one gigahertz computer processor.

Thanks to him, we can use computers for such important tasks

as medical imaging, regulating financial markets,

and watching videos of babies trying lemons for the first time.

(all cheering)

For my presentation,

I have followed in the footsteps of centuries of African-American women,

who documented their histories in the form of memory quilts.

I'm using "document"

not in the sense of a piece of paper, but as in a record.

I'm using "record" not in the sense of a vinyl disc of music,

but as in a historical document.

Once again, I'm using "document" not in a sense...

Get on with it!

Okay. Let me show you some of the memories on my quilt.

This is the time Fletcher laughed so hard

egg salad came shooting out of his nose.

And in this panel is Fletcher eating the egg salad anyway.

How many memories are on that thing?

All of them.

Now, to be clear, I'm using "memory" as in a cognitive recollection,

not the stirring ballad from the long-running musical Cats.

Olive, I'm ready. Thank you for stalling.

Oh, I haven't started stalling yet. But I could give it a try.

Most of you know that when it comes to music,

I usually don't have much trouble.

In fact, normally, I will sing at the drop of a hat.

Oh, darn it!

But when it came time to write a song for today,

I thought I was struggling.

Then I realized that all the amazing African-American musicians

who came before me really struggled.

From the struggle to find your own voice,

to finding the courage to break with tradition,

to facing out-and-out discrimination.

I was going to sing a song about the history of Black music.

But instead, I've been inspired by these exceptional women

to try someday to be a part of that history.

(scatting)

♪ I'm showing my respect ♪

♪ For the ones who came before ♪

♪ 'Cause they opened up the door ♪

♪ And they got it, they got it ♪

♪ I'm standing here, you see ♪

♪ Because all the history ♪

♪ Gave me reason to believe That I got it, I got it ♪

♪ If you can dream it You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ "E" to the "X" To the "C-E-P" ♪

♪ From the "T" to the "I" To the "O-N-A-L" ♪

♪ From the "E" to the "X" To the "C-E-P" ♪

♪ From the "T" to the "I" To the "O-N-A-L" ♪

♪ From the "E" to the "X" To the "C-E-P" ♪

♪ From the "T" to the "I" To the "O-N-A-L" ♪

♪ From the "E" to the "X" To the "C-E-P" ♪

♪ From the "T" to the "I" To the "O-N-A-L" ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

(vocalizing)

(all applauding)

Oh, you want an encore, Lexi?

The one day I wear a hat!

My Black History presentation

is about the artist, Jean-Michel Basquiat,

who helped take graffiti from the urban streets into museums.

In tribute to him, I, Fletcher Quimby,

will return to his roots

and create my own graffiti street art in his style.

Where did I put my pin cushion?

(screams)

(all laughing)

Oh, there it is!

(theme music playing)