Original subtitles

(Chyna) Previously on A.N.T. Farm.

Can you imagine being like

ten feet from Trifecta?

-We want you to fill in for Darlene! -Me? (chuckles)

Perform with Trifecta?

(screaming)

-Where would you be going? -These places.

(cheering)

What's going on?

The gas pedal's stuck, the brakes aren't working!

(all screaming)

(laughing)

Cut me from the band? I'll cut your brakes!

(laughing maniacally)

(all screaming)

-We're going to die! We're going to die! -(tire screeching)

At least steer!

Oh, yeah, right.

(screams)

(beeping)

(both) Hi, Chyna!

I can't talk right now!

We have a problem and could use your advice.

This is not a good time!

Oh, sorry. I guess you're too busy to talk to commoners like us.

No, no. You don't understand!

We're in the fast lane and we can't stop!

We get it. You're famous!

-We just wanted to ask you... -I'm going to have to call you back!

That's it. We're going to drive into that ravine,

plummet to the bottom, and explode into a ball of fire!

That's crazy! The cover of this month's Teeny Bopper Magazine says

"Trifecta's on Fire!"

How do they know these things are going to happen?

(Chyna) Guys!

Does this have an emergency exit?

-Yes, in the back! -Open it up!

We're supposed to open it in an emergency.

I think this qualifies.

Now come on. It's time to go!

Sorry, Trifecta!

Looks like this is the final stop on your tour!

(laughing maniacally)

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪ -Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing Something different we all bring ♪

♪ Don't you let 'em clip your wings You got it, you got it ♪

♪ We're on fire and we blaze In extraordinary ways ♪

♪ 365 days We got it, we got it ♪

♪ If you can dream it ♪

♪ You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Whoo!

That was awesome, Chyna!

We made it!

Incredible.

Look at this issue of Teeny Bopper. "Trifecta Has Made It!"

I wonder what's going to happen to us next.

I feel like we left someone on the bus.

(all) Gus!

(chuckling)

That was a heck of a jump!

Gus, you're okay!

I discovered the bus had an emergency brake!

I also discovered the headlights had a disco mode.

(disco music playing)

Step right up! Get 'em while they're hot!

Hey, Lexi. How's your bake sale going?

These cookies don't look very good.

Those are tickets to my play!

Oh. I wish I hadn't eaten four of them when your back was turned.

I don't understand why no one's buying tickets.

Lexi: The Musical is the story of the prettiest girl in school,

tormented by the arrival of an evil so-called musical prodigy.

I wrote it myself.

It's probably because everyone's already busy Friday night.

Doing what?

Going to the R.O.F.L. concert.

I bought two tickets.

What's R.O.F.L?

Cameron and Angus's electropop party band.

R.O.F.L. is in the house tonight!

Everyone's gonna have a...

moderately decent time!

(munching)

I never thought I'd miss being an ottoman.

What are you complaining about?

You got the salsa hat! I've got hot cheese! Ah.

I wish Chyna were here. She'd know how to deal with this.

And even if she didn't, she smells pretty.

You know what? You're right.

Maybe what's required here is a woman's touch.

Hey there, boys.

Would you mind sitting somewhere else?

I need a place to rest my gluteal muscles

and my sacrotuberous ligament.

Well, the new Ant Farm is definitely cozier.

(Olive) It's a janitor's closet.

Ow. (grunts)

My sacrotuberous ligament.

Shouldn't we be in Portland already?

-Looks like we're at some lighthouse. -I think we're lost.

Too bad Olive's not here.

She'd know exactly where we are,

the name of the lighthouse, what year it was built,

who designed it, and whether the gift shop has kettle corn.

She loves kettle corn.

Gus, have you been following the GPS?

The what?

I'm just following this sweet sounding lady

that keeps telling me where to go.

(woman on GPS) Left turn ahead.

Whatever you say, baby.

Maybe there's someone here who can give us directions.

Hello?

Huh.

Do either of you have a spare 9,000 watt light bulb on you?

-(Syerra) Ow! -(Laurin) Ow!

Syerra?

Laurin? Are you guys okay?

-Ow! -(laughing maniacally)

(Laurin) What happened?

I think someone knocked us out.

Hey look! There's a smart one in the group now.

Darlene! Thank goodness you're here!

And it's obviously not you.

Darlene? You did this? Why?

Because you stole my spot in Trifecta!

I didn't steal anything. These guys told me you thought about it

on the toilet and decided to leave the group.

Well, that is where I make a lot of my life-changing decisions.

But why would I willingly give up the life of a pop star?

You guys lied to me!

-We did not lie to you! -We would never lie to you!

Are you lying now about lying?

(both) Yes.

Darlene didn't quit.

We fired her because she's really passive-aggressive.

Oh, she seems to have fixed that.

Now she's aggressive-aggressive!

Anyway, I had another idea while I was on the toilet.

Reprogramming your GPS.

Right turn ahead.

Left turn ahead.

You have reached your final destination.

Wait, you should be happy they kicked you out of Trifecta!

The day after you left, somebody cut the brakes on our bus!

Oh.

-(electropop music playing) -♪ I'm the real deal I ain't no phony ♪

♪ I'm way too hot like spicy pepperoni ♪

♪ I may be short like a Shetland pony ♪

♪ My award-winning moves Deserve a Tony ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! ♪

♪ Try to look me up but you can't define me ♪

♪ Gots to go, gots to shake my heiny ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my, my heiny ♪

What are you doing?

Shakin' my heiny?

I mean, putting on a concert Friday night!

That's the night of my play!

With Chyna gone, this is my chance to shine!

No. With Chyna gone, this is my chance to shine.

Plus chicks are going to be breaking down our door.

Yeah, from the inside, trying to escape.

Take it from me. Girls don't like guys in bands.

They like guys in show-stopping musicals.

They do?

Hmm.

If we cancel our concert, can we be in your play?

Sure. You can be Angus.

I don't know.

Angus is funny, but he seems more like a side character.

I want to play the lead. Chyna!

Chyna is not the...

-Fine! You can be Chyna! -Yes.

And I suppose you want to play...

Will Smith. (laughs)

Whoo!

What would Will Smith be doing at Webster?

I don't know. That's for the writer to figure out.

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny ♪

Well, guess what?

Now you chicks are getting roasted!

(laughing)

(laughter playing back)

How are you laughing?

I'm not. That's my ring tone.

Hi, Mom!

Nothing.

(all) Help! Help!

-This crazy girl is trying to kill us! -Oh, that?

We're just rehearsing a new song called

"Help! Help! This Crazy Girl Is Trying to Kill Us!"

Now what?

Maybe we can use this light to signal for some help.

Like in Gotham City, when they used the bat signal.

We need to make our bodies into the shape of a bat.

Oh. Or we could make a bunny rabbit!

Ooh, I like that! Bunnies are much cuter!

One problem.

There's no bunny superhero!

Stop right there!

Bunny... Man?

Excuse me, do you mind?

I'm trying to roast these people.

Get her, Bunny Man!

Actually, I'm just the lighthouse keeper.

Then why are you dressed like a bunny?

I'm in the middle of a race with a tortoise.

But don't worry, I have time to find out what you are up to.

Now I will free these girls!

I may not be a superhero, but there's one thing I detest!

Injustice.

Smudges on my light.

I must hop off into the night.

Now it's time to say goodbye to Trifecta,

because I'm going solo!

Oh, yeah, well, I think you need to clean up your act!

(screaming)

(splashing)

Good thing I got her those swimming lessons for Secret Santa.

Okay. Sure, the janitor kicked us out,

but the new Ant Farm has this great purse hook.

Yeah, and a toilet.

(flushing)

This is my first day here. Is it always like this?

(opera music playing)

That's Chyna's ring tone!

I can't reach my A.N.T. Pad. It's in my backpack!

Will anyone with a free hand reach into Fletcher's backpack!

Hey!

You with the cold hands.

That is not my backpack!

My first day keeps getting worse.

Hey, hey, I've got it!

Oh, no!

No! The toilet's auto flush! No one move!

(Angus) Hey, guys.

(flushing)

(all exclaiming)

Why did you have to come into the Ant Farm now?

Ant Farm?

Is everything okay?

I keep trying, but I can't reach my best friends.

I used to talk to them all day at school, and then more when I got home.

But I haven't even spoken to them once since I left.

Life on the road isn't easy, is it?

No.

I guess I was just so excited when Syerra and Laurin

asked me to join Trifecta

that I didn't really think about what I'd be giving up.

-My friends, my family. -Mmm.

I even miss my brother.

What should I do, Gus?

Well, you need to listen to your heart.

Unless, like mine,

it's saying, "Please stop eating bacon."

That's just crazy talk.

Sold out.

I told you we should have checked before we flew to Seattle to see Chyna.

This is all your fault.

(scoffs) Just because I said

"There's no way there won't be tickets.

Let's fly to Seattle without checking," this is my fault?

Olive?

Fletcher?

What are you guys doing here?

We came to see you, Chyna!

And you guys, too.

But really just you.

(laughs)

Well, I've missed you both so much!

I have a few hours till the show. We can hang out.

We should check out Seattle's Pike's Place Market,

where the fishmongers are famous for throwing giant salmon.

I wonder if it's near here.

(screams)

(laughs)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's near here.

(Lexi) Okay, let's rehearse

the climactic scene where our heroine,

the beautiful and talented Lexi,

has her party ruined by the evil Chyna.

And begin.

I, the evil Chyna,

will now intentionally ruin Lexi's party

by destroying her stereo!

Paisley! That's your line!

Yeah, I have some questions

about this Paisley character.

She seems really dumb.

It doesn't seem believable.

Oh, it's believable.

And why is she friends with Lexi?

Lexi seems so full of herself.

Lexi is not full of herself!

Can we please go back to rehearsing

"Lexi: The Musical" starring Lexi?

Yeah! Let's do this Will Smith Style!

(laughs)

Whoo!

If you all want music, I, the evil Chyna, can play something.

Just as I'd planned from the beginning.

No. Everyone would rather hear

the beautiful and talented Lexi sing, right?

The script says "murmur in agreement!"

So murmur in agreement!

(all agreeing)

Seeing Seattle with you guys was amazing!

It was just like old times,

except with more rain.

And salmon.

Well, the concert starts soon. Come on, I'd better go get ready.

Performers only.

Oh, I'm a part of Trifecta.

And I'm part of Bell Biv DeVoe.

No one gets back there except real members of Trifecta.

What makes you think we aren't real members?

Well, I've never actually seen the band,

but I'm pretty sure it's three girls.

Hey, she may not be all that feminine, but she's a girl.

Hey, look.

If you're Trifecta, prove it.

Sing that song I heard, "Who Dat Party Cat!"

Uh...

Five, six, seven!

♪ He's the purr-fect guy ♪

♪ See him slink on by ♪

♪ And when the music hits ♪

♪ He gets down like this! ♪

♪ Meow, meow! ♪

♪ Who dat party cat? Watch me now! ♪

♪ Who dat party cat? Meow, meow! ♪

♪ Who dat party cat? ♪

♪ He's the cat that knows Where the party at! ♪

♪ The party at ♪

Well, I'm convinced.

You are?

-I mean, you're darn right you are! -I'll be right back.

I want to give you my demo, "Ain't You Heard, Party Bird?"

Thanks. I'd be stuck out here if it weren't for you.

That's what friends are for.

And also, in the chorus of "Who Dat Party Cat,"

it's not turn, kick, turn.

It's turn, turn, kick, kitty swipe.

How are you in Trifecta and not me?

Hey, maybe you guys can be!

We could become Fivefecta! Just think about it!

We could go on the road together!

Fletcher, I'll even let you have the top bunk!

Olive and I have to go back to school.

I know.

I just miss you guys so much.

Spending time with you reminded me how hard it is

not to have you guys around every day.

I wish you guys didn't have to leave.

We miss you, too.

(panting)

I can't find the demo, but I'm gonna sing it for you.

Ain't you heard, party bird?

♪ Ain't you heard, party bird? Tweet, tweet! ♪

♪ Move your feet! Tweet, tweet. Move your feet. Ah! ♪

♪ Ah! Ain't you heard That party bird... ♪

(audience cheering)

You guys are such great fans.

We want to thank you so much for welcoming our new member, Chyna Parks.

(audience cheering)

Before the show, Chyna asked if she could try a song she wrote.

I think you guys are gonna love it. We do.

♪ I took a step Into a new direction ♪

(crowd cheering)

♪ Following my heart this time ♪

♪ Not my head ♪

♪ But everything I'm feeling now I question ♪

♪ If I'm wrong, what's next ♪

♪ Is there another road that's left ♪

♪ Tell me where it is 'Cause I can't see it ♪

♪ Every bit of faith That I believed in ♪

♪ Every single smile has disappeared ♪

♪ Now it feels like ♪

♪ Someone hid the sun Where I can't find it ♪

♪ There has to be a world Where life is clear ♪

♪ But how do I get There from here ♪

♪ Oh, 'cause where I am ♪

♪ It's just getting Too hard to breathe ♪

♪ Oh, so hard to breathe, yeah ♪

♪ Someone hid the sun Where I can't find it ♪

♪ There has to be a world Where life is clear ♪

♪ But how do I get there from here ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ How do I get there from here? ♪

(crowd cheering)

Chyna, you were awesome out there tonight!

Yeah. That new song was great!

It could use some kitty swipes, but it was great!

We have to play it at our next show.

-Where are you going next? -San Francisco.

No. We just played San Francisco. We're going to New York.

No. You guys are going to New York.

I'm not going.

(all) What?

Look, I'm really sorry, guys,

this whole thing has been amazing,

but I have my whole life to be a star.

Right now,

my place is with my friends and family.

I'm going home.

Really?

-Really. -Yes!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Wow, Gus. I thought you liked me.

Like you?

I love you!

-Daddy? -(chuckling)

-Ah! -(Chyna laughs)

Sorry I tricked you, but I couldn't stand being away from you for so long.

Wait. What about Cameron?

Oh, yeah.

I'm sure he's fine.

Wait a minute, Chyna, if you quit, who are we going to get

-to be the third member of Trifecta? -I'll do it!

Who are you?

My name's... Charlene.

I can sing, I can dance,

and I've never tried to roast anyone in a lighthouse.

That's just what we're looking for!

Right.

I'm sure that will work out.

It'll be nice to be back in the Ant Farm, surrounded by familiar faces.

What's this?

Oh, yeah. We have a new Ant Farm.

And it has a purse hook!

Forget that.

All right. Everybody, out!

Come on, come on. You don't have to go home.

But you can't stay here. Go.

Move, move, move!

Come on. Move it, people. Out. Out.

(Lexi) Tell me it's not true that Chyna's back.

Ow!

I'm so sorry, Lexi!

I think you broke my nose!

My play's tonight! I can't perform like this!

No. Everyone would rather hear me,

the beautiful and talented Lexi, sing.

Pass me that guitar, Will Smith!

(laughs)

Whoo!

But I, the evil Chyna, have no evil powers without my evil guitar.

♪ I'm the real deal ♪

♪ I ain't no phony ♪

♪ I'm way too hot Like spicy pepperoni ♪

♪ I may be short Like a Shetland pony ♪

♪ But my award-winning moves Deserve a Tony ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! ♪

You have got to be kidding me!

♪ Ooh, I'm shakin' my heiny! ♪