Original subtitles

Ah. What I love most about camping are the sounds of nature.

(car honking)

(car alarm wailing)

There's no nature. We're camping out for concert tickets.

I'm still enjoying that beautiful full moon.

That's the search light on a police helicopter.

(helicopter whirring)

This is so awesome!

I cannot believe we're going to see Trifecta!

They're like my favorite band!

Mine too! I always work out to their music.

Not exercise. I work out complex mathematical equations.

(wolf howling)

What was that?

-Was a wolf? -Stop being so ridiculous.

There are no wolves in downtown San Francisco.

Wacky's ahead of us in line?

They release the first 10 rows the day of the concert.

Well, relax. Who's hungry?

I'm making hot dogs!

Fletcher, you can't roast a weenie without a fire.

I know. That's why I'm steaming it over this sewer grate.

Well, camping's not the same without sitting around a warm sewer grate

singing traditional sewer grate songs.

♪ I came from San Francisco With a gee-tar on my knee ♪

♪ I'm going to see Trifecta My favorite band of three ♪

♪ Oh, Trifecta... ♪

Shut up back there!

(softly) ♪ Oh, Trifecta Won't you sing for me ♪

♪ Been waiting seven hours And I really got to pee ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪ -Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing Something different we all bring ♪

♪ Don't you let 'em clip your wings You got it, you got it ♪

♪ We're on fire and we blaze In extraordinary ways ♪

♪ 365 days We got it, we got it ♪

♪ If you can dream it ♪

♪ You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Whoo!

Well, it's almost dawn.

We made it without being attacked by mountain lions.

Of course we did.

According to Department of Fish and Game records

dating back to 1890,

there's never been a mountain lion attack within the city of San Francisco.

(growling)

Wow.

The rivalry between the Webster Wolves

and the Madison Mountain Lions is really getting out of hand.

(grunting)

(sighs) I hope we get really good seats.

Can you imagine being like

ten feet from Trifecta?

Are you feeling any better, Darlene?

Mmm-mmm. Not really.

I told you not to eat that chimichanga you cooked in the bus's tailpipe.

We have a microwave.

Mmm-mmm. I read those things are dangerous.

Besides, a microwave doesn't give it that same smoky flavor.

(stomach growls)

Uh-oh. Need a bathroom.

(both) Not in the bus!

Great. What are we going to do now?

Buy a new bus?

I mean about the concert.

Darlene is still sick. She will not be able to sing and dance tonight.

How are we going to perform without Darlene?

-She has the voice of an angel. -(Darlene) I need toilet paper!

There's a new roll in there.

(Darlene) Not anymore!

No one is a bigger Trifecta fan than I am.

I know all their dance moves and all the words to their songs.

♪ Go! Goooo ♪

♪ Gooo ♪

♪ Goooo ♪

♪ Go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go ♪

Wow. How did you memorize all those word?

That's just the chorus. There are more words.

-You want to hear them? -No!

I am trying to relax here!

Come on. We should go talk to that kid!

The mean one on the massage chair?

No! The one who can sing!

She knows our songs. She knows our moves.

She even looks a little bit like you.

-Excuse me. -Back of the line, sister.

I've been waiting here all night.

I don't think they need tickets.

(giggling uncontrollably)

Yes, we're who you think we are.

This is so exciting. I'm such a big fan.

Thanks to you, I was able to prove Euler's Formula

while listening to the house remix of "Who Dat Party Cat."

Ah, Euler's Formula.

E to the power of the product of the imaginary number and pi

-equals negative one. What a classic. -(screams)

Can we talk to you for a minute?

You guys want to talk to me?

But I don't want to lose my place in line. I want to make sure I have

a great view of the show.

Oh, you'll have a great view. You'll be on stage with us!

Ooh. I don't think I can afford those seats.

(chuckles)

You won't be sitting. You'll be singing and dancing.

We want you to fill in for Darlene!

-(gasps) -Me? (chuckles)

Perform with Trifecta?

(screaming)

Chyna? Are you okay?

Did you see a bear?

Can you believe you're going to be singing with Trifecta tonight?

♪ I know know know know know know Know know know know know! ♪

-(chuckles) -Who are you giving your ticket to?

How about...

♪ Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe? ♪

Ooh. Or that guy with the...

♪ 'Fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'Fro 'fro 'fro 'fro 'fro? ♪

Check it out. I got the two best tickets for the Trifecta concert.

(snorts) Those are good,

but I think Chyna's going to be way closer to the band than you.

That's impossible.

These are front row tickets.

Oh! Cool!

It'll be nice to see a familiar face while I'm performing.

-(chuckles) -Performing?

Yep. I'm filling in for Darlene

and singing with Trifecta tonight!

You have got to be kidding me!

I spent 400 dollars on tickets to see you sing?

I see that every day for free!

Ugh!

Out of my way, Joe!

-(hyperventilating) -Relax.

There are a lot of people, but it's going to go fine.

I know. I'm just so nervous for Chyna!

Here. Breathe into this.

-How is that going to help? -Oh, it won't.

Since you were hyperventilating, you could inflate my beach ball.

I'm going to bat it around during the show.

Yep. I'm going to be that guy.

(motorcycle engines revving)

(all cheering)

♪ Go! Goooo goooo goooo ♪

♪ Go go go! ♪

♪ Goooo goooo goooo ♪

♪ Go go go ♪

♪ Everywhere I go I hear the echo Of a roar that keeps rising ♪

♪ On the horizon, yeah ♪

♪ Walking down the street I feel the energy the world is demanding ♪

♪ The spaceship has landed ♪

♪ Now there's no going back Back back back back back ♪

♪ No there's no going back Back back back back back ♪

♪ Now there's no going back ♪

♪ Back back back back back ♪

♪ No, there's no going back Back back back back back ♪

♪ I don't see red lights I just see go ♪

♪ I don't do stop signs I don't hear no ♪

That's my best friend!

♪ Jump and don't look down ♪

♪ That's how you fly ♪

♪ There's no turning back now ♪

♪ It's win or you die! ♪

♪ Don't be scared just go ♪

♪ Go go go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go ♪

♪ Don't think about it go Go go go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go go ♪

Who needs tickets?

Cheap!

♪ Shine under the pressure ♪

♪ Cause the way we deal With it will define us ♪

♪ Pressure makes diamonds ♪

♪ Now there's no going back Back back back back back ♪

♪ No there's no going back Back back back back ♪

♪ I don't see red lights ♪

♪ I just see go ♪

♪ I don't do stop signs I don't hear no ♪

♪ Jump and don't look down ♪

♪ That's how you fly ♪

♪ There's no turning back now It's win or you die ♪

♪ Don't be scared just go Go go go go go ♪

♪ Go go go go go go go go go go ♪

♪ Don't think about it Go, go, go, go, go ♪

-(growling) -Stop it!

Why do I go to concerts with you guys?

♪ I feel it in the air tonight ♪

♪ I'm seeing a light ♪

♪ In the dark ignited ♪

♪ And no one's stopping me now ♪

♪ I'm living my dream ♪

♪ And you're all invited ♪

♪ I don't see red lights I just see go ♪

♪ I don't do stop signs I don't hear no ♪

♪ Jump and don't look down ♪

♪ That's how you fly ♪

♪ There's no turning back now It's win or you die ♪

♪ Don't be scared just go Go, go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Don't think about it Go, go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Go where you go ♪

♪ Go where you go ♪

♪ Go where you go, go ♪

♪ Go where you go ♪

♪ Go, go, go ♪

♪ Goooo ♪

♪ Goooo ♪

♪ Goooo ♪

♪ Go, go, go ♪

(cheering)

(students cheering)

What's everyone so happy about?

Is it macaroni and beef day?

Hey, Chyna! It's me Paisley!

Paisley Houndstooth!

We went to school together before you were famous.

Paisley, that was yesterday.

It does feel like yesterday.

She remembers me!

Hey, what are you guys doing? You don't have to let me go to the front.

-I'm still the same Chyna. -Shh.

It is macaroni and beef day, there's never enough.

Watch out! Famous celebrity and her entourage coming through!

Guys, relax.

Last night was cool, but it was a one time thing.

I do not need special treatment.

Although decent treatment would be nice.

Psst. Chyna?

Syerra? Laurin?

What are you guys doing here?

And why are you dressed like that?

It's what we wear when we're in public, we don't get mobbed.

Look who's here!

Two nobodies trying to horn in on our macaroni and beef!

Let's get 'em!

(screaming)

Relax! They don't even like macaroni and beef.

They don't like macaroni and beef?

-Let's get 'em! -(all) Yeah!

I mean, they had macaroni and beef before they came.

They have their own stash of macaroni and beef?

-Let's get 'em! -(all) Yeah!

Did I say macaroni and beef?

I meant beef and macaroni.

(all) Oh!

It turns out Darlene had a lot of time to think while she was on the toilet.

And she decided to quit Trifecta. For good.

What?

Trifecta can't break up!

Track five on your third album is "Together Forever."

We're not breaking up.

We're just getting a new member.

-You. -What?

You were so good last night no one even missed Darlene.

So we want you to leave school and go on tour with us!

You want Chyna to leave school?

And go on tour with them.

Yes! I'm in Trifecta!

I'm in Trifecta!

Did you guys hear that? I'm in Trifecta!

(tv playing)

Hey! There's my megastar!

Thanks, Dad.

No, I meant my Megastar universal remote I bought.

It controls the TV and the DVR!

Mmm!

But you were incredible!

I'm so proud of you!

I brought you something from school.

Is this...

macaroni and beef?

What do you want?

Nothing.

I was just wondering if

I could go on a little trip with a couple of friends.

Well, where would you guys be going?

These places.

Trifecta asked me to join the band and go on tour with them.

What?

I thought this was a one time thing.

Well, it was supposed to be, but Darlene quit.

Now they want to make me a permanent member.

Isn't that exciting?

And only exciting,

and not at all a problem in any kind of way?

Aren't you going to say something?

Come on, say something. Anything.

Okay. No, you can't go.

Absolutely not.

Okay, come to think of it, don't say anything.

Just take your time.

Mull it over,

perhaps while eating some delicious macaroni and beef,

which, keep in mind, I brought you so you kind

of owe me one now.

Chyna, you're 13 years old.

I know, but I'll be completely supervised,

I'll have a full-time tutor,

and I'll be a Trifecta!

But all the places on this shirt are far away.

Can't you guys tour the neighborhood?

I know it's a big step, Dad, but this is everything I've ever wanted.

You always say we should follow our dreams.

Yeah, I meant the kind of dreams I have.

Like last night

I had a dream that I put bacon on my cereal.

And then this morning, I lived my dream.

Not the type that would take my little girl far away from me.

I'd really miss you too, Dad,

but this is the chance of a lifetime.

Please.

But if this is what you want, I'll support you.

-I love you so much! -(laughs)

I love you, too.

That's why I'm not letting go of you until you get on that bus.

(laughs)

(all) Surprise!

(laughs)

That's so sweet!

I can't believe you threw a farewell party for me!

-Oh, we didn't. -She did.

I've been planning it since the day you showed up at this school.

Finally a chance to use these "Good riddance Chyna" balloons!

Oh, Lexi. I'm going to miss you least of all.

You're going to miss me?

Chyna, I know it's silly,

but now that you're famous and all,

can I get your autograph before you leave?

-Really? -Yeah.

Okay.

Ha!

You just signed an iron-clad, binding contract

that says you will never leave Webster High!

Plus we're legally married in the Bahamas.

Fletcher, this is a geography test you got a D on.

My mom was supposed to sign that one.

(chuckles) I can't believe I'm not gonna see you guys for almost a year.

-Punch me in the face. -What?

-Punch me! -Why would I punch you in the face?

I'm not gonna miss some jerk who punches me in the face!

I'm not going to punch you in the face.

Of course not! You would never do that to me.

That's why I'm going to miss you so much!

-I'll punch you in the face. -Stay out of this, Fletcher!

Maybe I could come with you. Do you guys need any backup dancers?

Look, I'm really going to miss you guys, too.

But we'll video chat every day.

We have our A.N.T. Pads!

Actually, that's school property.

As school supply monitor, I'm gonna confiscate that.

Ah. Here, take it.

-I won't tell. -(Chyna chuckles)

Come on, guys, it's time for cake!

"I thought you'd never leave."

Aw. How sweet.

It's made with coconut.

You hate coconut, right?

(Syerra) Welcome to your home for the next year!

We will show you around while Gus gets your bags.

He's our new bus driver.

I can't believe our last bus driver quit.

We wrote "Together Forever" about him.

Don't worry about me texting and driving,

because I do not know what texting is.

So, Chyna, what do you think?

This place is awesome!

Video games, a recording studio...

Ooh, what's in here?

That's the bathroom. But, I wouldn't go in there.

It's still recovering from Darlene. But don't worry.

We've got this scented candle.

So, there's a living room, a kitchen, and three bedrooms.

(chuckles)

Ooh!

Can I please have the top bunk?

(both) Yes!

Am I going to fall out every time the bus turns?

(both) Yes!

What's in this thing?

(Fletcher grunts)

Fletcher?

This happens all the time.

Crazed fans trying to sneak on the bus.

That's why we both study ju-jitsu!

(both) Hi-yah!

No. No, no, no, no.

(grunting)

(screams)

Wow. That ju-jitsu really works.

We've only had one lesson. How to yell "hi-yah" and pose like this...

Why are you gift wrapping the hallways?

They're posters for the school play.

We already had the school play.

Chyna was the lead, you were the lead usher.

I remember your big line. "Who cares? Just sit anywhere!"

I don't care if we already did a school play!

We're doing another one!

Chyna's gone and I finally get to be the star and not her!

Actually, now that she's in Trifecta,

she's a bigger star than ever.

Shut up, we're doing a play!

Well, looks like Chyna and I aren't going to be together anytime soon, so...

It's time to move on to my second choice.

Uh, you better not be looking at me.

I said second choice, not zombie apocalypse

and you and I are the last humans alive choice.

(gasps) What are those big kids doing in here?

-I don't know. What do we do? -Don't look at me.

Obviously I'm not looking at you. Didn't you hear what I said?

Chyna was the one who handled these kind of things.

Relax. I'll take care of it.

Excuse me,

is there something you need?

I did not expect him to say an "ottoman."

While I find this demeaning,

I am somewhat impressed by their vocabulary.

Our itinerary. We're going to hit 38 cities in the U.S. and Canada.

Then we're off to Europe, Asia, and South America.

-(laughing) -(tire screeching)

Whoa.

Don't you guys think we're moving too fast?

Hey, baby, that's the life of a pop star!

No, I mean the bus. Something's not right.

Gus, what's going on?

The gas pedal's stuck and the brakes aren't working!

What? How are we going to stop?

Probably by landing in whatever's at the bottom of that ravine.

(all screaming)

I thought this bus was state-of-the art!

How could this happen?

(laughing)

Cut me from the band? I'll cut your brakes!

(laughing maniacally)