Original subtitles

Olive, if you're ever gonna achieve your dream of winning the Tour de France,

you really need to learn how to ride your bike without training wheels.

I've read the Tour rule book. There's nothing prohibiting it.

Come on, this is easy. It's like riding a bike.

Well, if it's so easy, then why don't you get on here and do it?

Hey, this isn't about me.

Forget it. I'm not doing it.

Not until bikes have front and side impact air bags.

Well, you just need a little push.

Ready? On three.

-Three! -Whoa! Whoa!

Look at me! I'm doing it!

I'm doing it!

-Whoa! -(Screams)

Well, there was no air bag, but luckily, there was an old bag.

Principal Skidmore, are you okay?

(Grunts)

Please don't need mouth-to-mouth.

I'm fine!

I think I chipped my teeth.

Now I'm gonna have to wear my weekend teeth.

(Theme music playing)

(Whoo!)

♪ Everybody's got that thing ♪

♪ Something different we all bring ♪

♪ Don't you let 'em clip your wings ♪

♪ You got it You got it ♪

♪ We're on fire and we blaze ♪

♪ In extraordinary ways ♪

♪ 365 days ♪

♪ We got it We got it ♪

♪ You can dream it ♪

♪ You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional Exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional Exceptional ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh ♪

(Whoo!)

I can't believe you almost killed Skidmore.

Do you think her life flashed before her eyes?

No. If it had, we'd still be out there,

barely up to the 1890s.

(Laughs)

Olive, why aren't you laughing?

That joke had everything you love.

Making fun of Skidmore and a reference to the 19th century.

You know those papers Skidmore dropped?

That was the new school budget.

Skidmore is planning to completely cut the art and music programs.

What? That's crazy!

I mean, cutting art, I get. But music?

Why can't they just cut unnecessary things like math and English?

That would be, like, a kajillion times more gooder.

Get this. She added a ton of money to renovate her office.

Well, it does need work.

The horizontal stripes on her couch

totally clash with the vertical bars of her holding cell.

(Sighs) Fletcher, you're missing the point.

If she cuts art and music, then...

you and I will be forced to leave the A.N.T. Program.

But maybe the school board won't approve Skidmore's budget.

Of course they will. They don't even read them.

They just rubber-stamp them and scarf down free scones.

How do you know that?

Well, I write a school board blog.

You know, Board by Olive.

This is horrible.

I don't want to go to another school.

I mean, yes, this place is basically Alcatraz

without the view and the fresh ocean breeze,

but you guys are here.

You're my best friends.

And I'm not letting Skidmore get rid of us without a fight.

Well, I know just what we have to do.

So, are you going to tell us

or are you just gonna stand there grinning like an idiot?

Uh, actually, I don't have any ideas but...

Chyna always smiles and nods before she comes up with a plan,

so I thought I'd give it a shot.

(Cameron) (On PA) Good morning, Webster Wolves.

This is Cameron Parks.

Time for today's announcements.

Principal Skidmore would like to inform everyone

that having a bicycle in the hallway

will now be punishable by life in prison.

Whoa! Whoa!

(Cameron) Chemistry Club will now meet...

I got a new outfit!

Now accepting compliments and catty, jealous remarks.

Excuse me?

Hello?

You're not basking in my radiance.

Who is everyone paying attention to instead of me?

Cameron. He always does the morning announcements.

You'd know that if you ever got here on time.

You try applying bronzer, mascara, blush, eye shadow,

concealer, lip gloss, lipliner, and lipstick before 8:00 a.m.

Oh, please.

You think I wake up looking this good?

And now, let's take a moment of silence for our school's librarian.

She's not dead.

She would just, for once, like a moment of silence.

Hello, fellow students.

Lexi Reed here with some announcements you'll actually care about. (Chuckles)

Today I'm wearing a darling Chantilly lace blouse...

What are you doing?

I'm your new cohost.

But I don't want a cohost.

Neither do I!

See? We're already agreeing.

Now seriously, get out of my chair.

Paired with my blouse is just a fabulous periwinkle blazer...

Okay, I know we're upset about this budget thing,

but can we take a break?

When it comes to pacing, I like to pace myself.

-You wanted to see me? -No.

We wanted to talk to you.

No one wants to see you. Ew!

Principal Skidmore, we know all about your dark secret.

You found out about the disco album I recorded in 1975?

I thought I owned every copy of Saturday Night Skidmore.

Not that secret.

Olive saw the papers you dropped this morning.

Then I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, and, uh, forget about the other thing I mentioned.

Don't play dumb! That's Fletcher's game.

Yeah!

Listen, Olive, if you know what's good for you,

you'll forget whatever you think you saw.

Forget? I can't forget!

Do you know how hard I've been trying to forget the day

I walked in on Skidmore doing yoga?

Here, let me show you.

This is the position I was in when I was throwing up!

Olive, you don't have to forget anything.

Because you're going to that school board meeting

-to tell them exactly what you saw. -(Door locks)

Oh, no!

Skidmore locked us in here to keep us from going to that meeting!

-(Screams) -Olive!

It's okay, we'll find a way out.

No, I just got another image of Skidmore doing yoga.

She's surprisingly limber.

Hello, Webster Wolves.

Lexi Reed here with a few more announcements.

Cindy and Jessica are both wearing the same top today.

Please be sure to make fun of them.

Now, for today's beauty tip.

Wanna be beautiful?

Try being born pretty.

What are you doing?

Just making some additional morning announcements.

The reason they're called morning announcements

is because they happen in the morning.

Once a day.

It's narrow-minded thinking like that

that's prevented this show from being a hit!

It's not a show. It's announcements.

And they're my thing.

You have lots of things.

Like being pretty

and giving other girls self-esteem issues.

(Sobbing)

Aw, my show is already touching lives.

She thinks she can just lock us in here?

Well, we'll just call somebody to let us out.

(Skidmore) Timber!

(Loud crashing)

There goes the cell tower.

Well, maybe we can just wave over some help through the window.

I'll handle this.

There's no cage that can hold me.

(Exhales)

Well, I'm all out of tricks.

What if we try that vent off?

We can crawl out through the ducts.

Skidmore probably cut corners on the air-conditioning

to pay for the Olympic-sized pool in her office.

Wait!

Maybe we can use that fire extinguisher

to smash through the window!

Oh, come on!

What's going on?

I can't see.

Good afternoon, and welcome to Mornings With Lexi,

featuring me, Lexi Reed,

and my band, Wacky and the Wolf Pack!

(Playing funky music)

(Glass shatters)

Lexi!

Lexi!

Now would be a good time to take a break

for this important message.

Lexi Reed here to remind you that you can make a difference.

Don't stand idly by. Speak up.

So, if you see a beautiful girl,

tell her how beautiful she is.

We know, but it's still nice to hear.

Just sayin'.

Ready?

One, two, three!

(Screams)

Did it work?

Well, obviously it didn't work. The door is still closed.

We weren't trying to open the door.

We were just trying to cure his hiccups.

Told you it would work.

-(Hiccups) -Dang it.

Well, we're stuck in here.

I guess Skidmore wins.

Can't believe you and I have to leave the A.N.T. Program.

This is so sad.

What am I going to do without you guys?

We've always been the three amigos .

Yeah. The three amigos.

This must be awkward for you, Fletcher.

This stinks.

You guys are the only reason I like going to school.

Me, too.

I mean, the only two things I can count on are

getting 100 on every test,

and you guys being there for me when I need you.

-I love you guys. -Me, too.

No. This isn't goodbye.

I'm not leaving you guys and I'm not leaving the Ant Farm.

Now, let's leave the Ant Farm!

And I just mean leave the Ant Farm so we can get Olive to that meeting

so we don't have to leave the Ant Farm permanently. But you guys get it, right?

-Yeah! -Yeah!

Not really.

So, do you have a plan?

Because you didn't do this.

I do not do that! I do this.

And number one on the list of my top 10

most flattering camera angles is...

Lexi, we're supposed to be doing these announcements together.

I guess I have been hogging the limelight.

How about I let you make the next announcement?

Thank you.

(Clears throat)

"Please welcome today's musical guest, Lexi Reed,

performing her hit song, I'm Lexi and I Know It"?

(Dance music playing)

Come on, guys.

We can come up with a way out.

We're Ants, a team of people with exceptional abilities!

Like the Avengers!

Ooh, maybe if I get really angry,

I can turn into the Hulk and knock the door down.

(Growling)

Well, I'm all out of tricks.

Got it!

This has methyl ethyl ketone in it.

We can dip a paint brush into the lacquer.

When the lacquer dries, it will make the bristles rock solid.

Like an arrowhead.

And then, all we have to do is just shoot it into the lock.

And I have an idea how to shoot it.

Uh, excuse me. Aren't you forgetting something?

Oh, sorry.

And I have an idea how to shoot it.

Okay. Here goes.

Hey, guys. Did you listen to... Ow!

Sorry, Cameron!

Don't worry! I'll get the first-aid kit.

Here you go. We're late for a meeting.

I assure you, if you approve this budget,

Webster High will maintain its five-diamond rating.

That all sounds good.

Uh, let's approve this and get to those scones.

-(Door opens) -(Chyna) Wait!

Don't vote.

There is some important information

that the school board needs to hear!

Don't tell me someone ate the black currant scones!

Darn you, Pomerantz!

I called dibs!

-Wow, they really do love their scones. -Told you.

Guys, we're trying to pass a budget here.

Yeah, well, buried within that budget

are plans to cut the music and art programs

so that Principal Skidmore can use the funds to renovate her office.

There! Now your dark secret is out.

Well, I mean, this specific dark secret. I realize you have others.

You kids have no idea what you've done!

I wasn't cutting art and music. They were!

True.

Very true.

Mmm, buttery.

Mmm.

I was going to secretly use the money I got for the renovations

to fund the art and music programs.

Good work! Now you've ruined everything!

Well, I don't get it. Why did you lock us in the Ant Farm

to keep me from telling what I saw?

Because amongst those papers

was a copy of my birth certificate.

You did all of this

because you didn't want these people to know how old you are?

What?

No! (Chuckles)

I don't care if they know that I'm in my mid to late thirties.

Okay, well, uh, never mind.

-Forget I said anything. -Mmm-hmm.

(Angus) Wait!

Don't vote!

Information! School board.

I gotta sit down.

Lexi, I'm not happy.

Here, this should cheer you up.

(Scoffs)

I can't believe you.

The announcements were the one thing I had to look forward to at school.

It was the five minutes a day where people paid attention to me.

And you took that away.

I'm sorry, Cameron.

I didn't know how much this means to you.

But I was just about to do a sports story.

-Why don't you take it? -Okay.

Thank you for understanding.

And now with sports, Cameron Parks.

"High school football. Is it too dangerous?

With the increasing size and speed of today's players,

the force of a tackle can be overwhelming,

especially for defenseless players

who get hit when they least expect it.

Like this."

Wait, what?

That was Cameron Parks with sports.

Okay, let's put this to a vote.

All in favor of the proposed cuts, say "aye."

Wait!

Before anyone votes,

I would just like to say a few words

about what the art and music programs mean to me.

In a song.

Hold on. You always save the day with a song.

What if this time I save the day with an art demonstration?

All right.

Okay, um, does anybody have a canvas, some acrylic paint,

and a mongoose fiber brush?

Okay, charcoal?

Markers?

Pen or pencil?

-Chyna, you're up. -Okay.

I really wish I had my musical instruments with me.

I have a keyboard. Actually, two.

The Digitone MXJ7

and the MXP9.

And you didn't have a pencil?

Okay.

(SKA music playing)

♪ Music is the beat that we dance to ♪

♪ I'm sure art is good for something, too ♪

♪ Music is even made by the whales ♪

♪ Art can be bought at garage sales ♪

♪ Everyone has their favorite singers ♪

♪ Everyone has painted with their fingers ♪

♪ Keep these programs Don't tear this school apart ♪

♪ You must save music, and to a lesser extent, art ♪

Wow!

You are incredibly good at music.

(Chuckles)

Clearly, there's nothing we can teach you.

So, all those in favor of cutting art and music, say "aye."

(All) Aye!

Guess this really is goodbye.

Wait. We're not done yet.

Oh, uh, Mr. Bottaro, uh, a word please.

-(Bottaro) Oh. -Mmm-hmm.

As President, I exercise my veto power and overrule the board.

The art and music programs will continue.

(Students cheering)

Ugh, she's so bony!

Thank you, Principal Skidmore!

Under that icy, cold exterior,

there's a heart of gold.

Eh, that's my weekend heart.

I don't understand. How did you get him to change his mind?

I appealed to his sense of reason.

Oh, and, um, I also have this picture of him

washing his car in his driveway topless and wearing hot pants.

-Ah! -Oh!

(Retching)

See? No matter what they do,

no one will ever break up the three amigos.

And Fletcher.

Wow, I can't believe Skidmore actually helped us.

Yeah. Sometimes she really surprises me. Hmm.

(Screams)

What are you wearing?

Say hello to Saturday Night Skidmore!

Hmm, and I thought the yoga clothes were disturbing.

I realized that a few things in my past

might have made me susceptible to blackmail,

so I have decided to embrace it all.

This is what I wore on the cover of my 1975 disco album.

So when they say that disco is dead,

is it because you killed it?

Very funny. And just for that,

I am going to perform the first single from my album,

which reached number 92 on the charts in Finland.

(Funky disco music playing)

♪ You know you want more ♪

♪ Of funky, funky Skidmore ♪

♪ It's good times galore ♪

♪ On the dance, dance floor ♪

♪ Yeah, come get Skidmore funky... ♪

(Exclaims)