Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

[upbeat pop song]

♪ Hold my hand, till the courage sticks ♪

[alarm ringing]

♪ Hold me up, so I don't look weak ♪

♪ Soon I'll stand on my own two feet ♪

Looking good today my babies!

They're plants, Tenley!

They're literally inanimate objects.

You've got to get yourself a real pet.

Good morning, Cami.

Dinner later tonight, don't forget!

Aye aye, captain.

Morning, Mrs. Dearly!

Tomatoes like acidic soil.

Put a couple of tablespoons in your watering can.

It will help.

[message ping]

So cool.

No...

So amazing.

And you're amazing for sending it. Smiley face.

[message ping]

[camera snap]

Wannabe Posh Spice.

[camera snap]

My mugshot?

[camera snap]

What is in my teeth?

Just call him, tell him how you feel!

You've been talking for a year and you've never even met him.

The only guy I've ever talked to for that long was my dentist.

We're just online friends.

An environment chat room friendship

shouldn't last a year, Ten.

It's time to get this off your device

and into the real world.

Okay first of all,

we met on an online sustainability forum,

not a chat room.

And second of all, how do we even know

Jared feels the same way?

When was the last time you went on a real date?

College, that was when.

With that Henry guy who thought beer pong and cold pizza

qualified as romantic.

That's not fair!

Sometimes Henry and I also went to the library together.

Yeah, so he could copy all of your biology notes.

[groaning]

You've been crushing on this guy for too long.

It's time to ask him to meet.

The only way you'll know how he feels is if you meet him.

And there's no guarantee that he's not a catfish.

He could be a weirdo.

You're right, okay.

You got this.

I don't know.

Do you remember what happened the last time

I tried to put myself out there romantically?

The vigilante crime fighter guy?

He was funny.

He wore a costume under all of his clothing

and broke his leg trying to jump off our fire escape.

Yeah, like I said, he was hilarious.

[Laughing]

He couldn't fly!

He tried.

Come on Tenley, just go for it!

Okay, okay.

Just keep it casual.

Tell him what ethically sourced diamonds you're into

and how many kids you want to have.

Cami!

It's time.

Okay.

I'm going to take this over there.

Alright Tenley, you got this.

Just be very brave and call Jared.

Calling Jared.

[phone dialling]

[repeating] Please don't pick up.

Hello?

Hello, Jared!

Hi, it's me.

It's Tenley.

Tenley, hi!

Wow, so cool to hear your voice. How are you?

Yeah, good.

So listen...

I was thinking...

just really not a big deal,

but I have been wondering...

Yeah?

Hello?

Maybe we should meet?

Sure, how about coffee tomorrow?

Milk and Honey at 9:30?

Yes!

I mean, very cool.

Great, I'll see you there tomorrow.

[upbeat instrumental music]

[gasping]

Whoa.

Hey.

You dropped that.

Sorry.

You all right?

It was a cute happy dance.

I liked the spin.

Did you win the lottery or something?

No.

Exactly how much of that dance did you see?

What dance?

What's your name?

[Cami] Tenley!

I have to go.

I'm Everett.

Who was that?

I don't know.

-Cami! -Yeah?

We're meeting at our favorite cafe tomorrow

and I have nothing to wear.

It's true, your options are dismal.

You dress like you could have a job interview at any moment.

Fortunately, you have a very stylish best friend

who works in fashion.

Where are you going?

Oh, that's stunning!

Take it, it's perfect.

And keep your soil samples away from the chiffon.

Thank you Cami, you're the best.

I know.

Hello, nice to meet you.

I'm Tenley.

[fanciful music playing]

Tenley.

Wow, you look so beautiful.

Tenley... Tenley... Tenley.

Tenley...

Tenley, wake up!

Tenley, you overslept.

What?

-What time is it? -9:15.

I overslept. I can't believe I overslept!

-I never oversleep. -Oh, I'm aware.

It's okay, don't stress. It'll all be okay!

[ripping sound]

It's a sign!

It's a sign I shouldn't go.

I should call him and tell him

that I've got a last minute plane to catch.

Or that I've got a job in Tasmania

and I'm never coming back.

Or that I'm officially a plant.

That's it! I'm a shrub now.

I'm a shrub and I never move and I never date

and I certainly never leave the house--

Snap out of it!

No one is going to Tasmania, or turning into a shrub.

Calm down, breathe.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Put this on, go for coffee and be yourself.

Okay?

And hurry up, you're going to be late.

[phone ringing]

OMG, how did it go?

He stood me up.

No, he didn't!

Mmm-hmm.

Call him.

Get an explanation, he owes you that.

I don't know Cam, maybe I should just let it go.

Ten, you've spoken to him every day for a year.

He owes you a conversation.

He can't just ghost you.

Okay.

Okay, you're right.

But please don't let this discourage you

from taking risks.

Yeah, thank you.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Jared hi, just wondering why you decided to stand me up?

Was I kidding myself into thinking

that maybe we could have--

Hold on, slow down.

I'm Doctor McMahon.

I'm the attending physician here at Mercy General Hospital.

I hate to be the one to tell you this,

but Jared was in a bike accident this morning

and brought into us.

Is he okay? Tell me what I can do.

Oh yeah, he's stable and he's going to be

back to himself in no time, don't you worry.

I do need to ask though,

do you know if he has any allergies to anything?

Strawberries, cats, tree nuts and the word moist.

Dang, sounds like you two have a beautiful relationship.

Yeah, I guess we kind of do.

Okay, well he's going to be in room 314.

What's your name?

Tenley. T-E-N-L-E-Y.

Got it.

I'm going to add you to the visitors list.

You're his wife, right?

Yes, of course.

Great, I'll see you soon, Mrs. Carr.

Hello?

You keep fighting the good fight!

I told you not to keep trying

to build that furniture by yourself.

This is the fourth time this week.

Please hire someone before you lose an eye.

Say hi to the wife for me.

The nurse is on a break, can I help you?

Yes, I think we spoke on the phone?

I'm Tenley looking for Jared Carr?

Oh yes, of course.

Jared, yes.

I just need you to sign the visitors log.

Then I have a couple of forms I need you to sign.

Sure.

I need your signature here on this one.

There.

And then a Sue Mary over there.

Yes.

And just your initials on that one.

Okay.

Great.

That was so cute, "allergic to the word moist."

Thank you, I think there might have been a mistake here.

You know what?

I'm going to get you to have a seat here, Mrs. Carr.

I'll let you know when you can see him.

Actually, it's Sweeney.

My last name is Sweeney.

Keeping your own last name, I like that.

Ms. Sweeney.

You can see him now.

Hi.

I'm Tenley.

It's nice to finally meet you.

Well, this is definitely not how I pictured our first date going.

Maybe it'll be a funny story to tell the grandkids one day.

Jared!

It's you! It's you!

Let me look at you.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I am Jared's mother dear, Lynn.

The doctor just told us about you.

Happy dance?

Handsome stranger guy?

You two know each other?

No.

Does someone want to tell me what's going on here?

Hi folks.

Just wanted to give you all an update.

As you know,

Jared took a significant bump on the head.

So we're keeping him in a deep sleep

until the swelling goes down.

But we're confident that

he'll be back on his feet in no time.

That's great news, thank you doctor.

Oh, don't thank me.

Thank her.

He's going to be okay, Mrs. Carr, all thanks to you.

Excuse me?

Right, Sweeney! My bad.

Those forms, consenting to us continuing the treatment.

They saved his life.

He's lucky to have you, lucky you got here so quickly.

I, umm--

Oh come on now! Don't be so humble.

You saved him!

That's what I signed?

No no no, I, I--

You you you, saved his life.

Either that or you're committing insurance fraud.

Am I right?

Ha ha, I got you. Zing!

-Can you imagine? -Yeah.

Who would do such a thing?

-Right? -Crazy!

Sorry to break up the comedy routine.

That's good stuff and everything, it is.

But can someone explain to me who this woman is?

She's his wife?

She's his wife?

I have been wanting Jared to get married.

And I find out today of all days--

Okay, now I just--

[talking over each other]

Hey!

Everyone simmer down.

This is fragile time for Jared

and coma patients are sensitive to noise.

So please, I'm going to have to ask you all

to take the party some place else.

Can't we stay?

I'm his mother, I can't just leave him like this.

What Jared needs right now is rest and quiet.

He's in good hands, I promise.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't we all go back to the house?

You can explain this thing over dinner--

Ronnie, that's ridiculous--

No, maybe we don't understand but she's family now.

Thank you.

It's been a strange day, I think I should just get home.

-I agree with that. -Nonsense!

You probably haven't eaten all day

and we would love to meet you.

We insist you come to dinner.

Absolutely!

O what noble mind is here o'erthrown!

The courtier's, soldier's...

I forgot the rest.

Just keep practicing.

She's got a big audition for the school play coming up.

I'm doing Ophelia's monologue from Hamlet.

Faye, time for dinner. Go get your father.

Dad! It's dinner time!

Can't a man bocce in peace?

I said go get him, not yell at him.

Fine, I'm going.

Oh no need, Petal. I've got this.

Thanks.

Father, the queen has dispatched me

to fetch thee to dine in the great hall.

Okay, I'll be a minute.

Sir, the time for sporting has expired.

Your kin dines in the great hall.

Make haste!

Don't you speak regular English anymore?

Mom said dinner is almost ready and she wants you to help.

Well, after you m'lady.

Salad, salad, salad, I got it.

So, you must be the mystery wife behind door number 1.

Betsey.

Tenley, we do have a lot of questions for you.

I'll say.

I'm sorry, I know this is a lot to absorb.

I really care about Jared,

but this is just a misunderstanding that spiraled.

I once took a plane to Rochester, Minnesota

and I was supposed to go to Rochester, New York.

That's a misunderstanding!

Oh.

We are just grateful you're here.

Is anybody going to mention how messed up this is?

Everett, don't be such a guard dog.

So, was it a Vegas wedding or something?

Or did you guys go on that reality TV show

where you meet the person and marry them on the same day?

Okay, let's not overwhelm her.

Let's start with something simple.

Like, what do you do for a living?

I'm a horticulturist.

I specialize in eco-friendly farming.

And I have recently narrowed my focus to soil methods.

I also just heard how boring that sounds.

No.

It sounds like a great match for my Jared.

He loves that stuff.

He feels very strongly about plastic bottles.

He's even more angry at straws.

Jared is so driven to work with people

who want to better the planet.

That's actually how we met, on a sustainability forum.

A chat room?

Seriously?

No, a forum.

What's the difference?

Now that sounds perfect for my Jared.

Meeting a girl who loves reusable plastic.

I once used a pillowcase for a plastic bag.

That's very inventive, Ron.

Yeah, it's inventive, it's good.

How do we know that she's for real?

When's his birthday?

January 10th, but I'm not his--

-What's his favorite place? -Rose Valley.

But I'm trying to tell you that I'm not his--

What's his pet peeve?

People touching his laptop screen and leaving fingerprints.

But for the last time, people--

Oh, she got you!

Everett, enough!

Tenley, I insist you stay with us tonight.

It's been a long day, and you should just rest up here.

I really shouldn't--

Nonsense, you will stay in Jared's old room

and that is that!

-Lovely. -Good.

But, you don't even...

Alright okay, I'm done.

But I am onto you.

And when he was 16,

he demanded that we all learn how to compost.

He used to dress up like a fish

and get people to sign petitions.

Well, he sounds like a wonderful child.

He really was.

Always very conscious of others.

But very private about his love life.

And of course, attached at the hip with Everett.

Do you have a big family?

No, it's just me and my mom.

We're like the two musketeers.

Kind of.

That's nice.

I'll bet you are your mother's treasure!

Lynn, I'm really sorry to have to tell you this,

-but I'm not-- -Mom!

Yes, dear?

Can you help me run lines?

Of course, be right there.

Just give me a minute, Petal.

She really wants to ace this audition.

No worries. Umm, the restroom?

Oh yeah, just down the hall.

What are you doing?

Just tell them the truth Tenley, you're being ridiculous!

Woman arrested for pretending...

Just do it.

Just say it and run.

I can't do this without Jared, Ron.

How bad is it?

We have a week until we're toast.

He's not going to be ready in time.

Tenley.

You rang?

This is perfect!

What is?

Tenley can help you.

Help with what, exactly?

No way Ron, absolutely not.

Just think about it.

She has similar expertise to Jared.

She can help you with the presentation.

All you need to do is tell her what you need, Everett.

Swallow your pride.

Speak up boy!

Jared and I have a start up

that's being circled by a conglomerate: Panama.

They're trying to acquire us.

Evil overlord corporation, you get the gist.

Unfortunately, a large portion of our shareholders

are actually considering the deal.

It would be the death of our company.

Oh...

There's no way a conglomerate like that

would sustain our ethos.

They are just trying to buy up small business

to eliminate competition.

They'd throw out our green practices,

they'd throw our employees down the drain.

It would be our nightmare.

That's awful.

But I don't understand how I would help?

Jared and I were trying to prepare a presentation

to remind the board of the company's mission, the values.

Trying to convince them not to sell.

I see.

Well, I was the financial side, Jared was sustainability.

I know some sustainability, but it's not enough to finish.

And that is where you come in, Tenley.

It's going to be a lot of work, so you should say no.

Yeah, tonight has gotten really out of hand--

My son's business depends on it.

Please.

Okay...

Okay.

Great, I'll let you two sort it out.

Alright.

So...

So.

This is what we're working with so far.

Wow.

This is messy.

You know, no one is forcing you.

You really don't like asking for help, do you?

Not from people I don't know.

Why were you so happy the other night?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes you do, you threw a phone at me.

You remember that?

Yes.

I was talking to Jared, if you must know.

Why did Jared keep his marriage a secret?

Something doesn't smell right about this.

I'm going to figure out what you're hiding.

Tenley, I put fresh sheets on Jared's bed for you.

-Thank you, Lynn. -You're welcome, dear.

Let's just forget it.

What about the presentation?

You know what I don't understand?

Is how I randomly run into a girl in the street

and the next day, I find out she's my best friends wife.

So Jared never told anyone about me?

No.

And I'm going to guess he never told you about me, either.

It's my nightmare, Cam.

They think I'm his wife!

And now on top of everything,

I have to help save the business.

It's like every time I try to escape,

I somehow end up with something else that needs to be saved.

They sound like reasonable people,

just tell them.

And say what?

Hi, I'm the random internet lady

that apparently committed insurance fraud

when I saved your son's life earlier

and now you're all convinced

that we ran away together and got married

when really, this morning would've been the first time

I actually met the guy?

Yes, because that's the truth.

OMG, I knew it.

Cam, I gotta go.

Betsey, we can talk about this.

So you lied about everything?

Not exactly.

I wonder what the authorities would say

if they found out about this?

Please, I am begging you.

Chill, I'm not going to blow up your little secret.

You're not?

No way.

My mom would be heartbroken.

She's been wanting Jared to find someone for literally ever.

I spent the whole night trying to tell you all,

but I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

Welcome to my life.

It takes two weeks to get my mom to sign a permission slip.

Why don't you just wait till Jared wakes up?

My family's under so much stress already.

I don't think they can handle more bad news.

I don't know...

Plus, it sounds like Jared and Everett

need you to bail the business out.

You can't just leave now.

This company is everything to them.

And, my parents took out a second mortgage

to help them get the business off the ground.

Oh no.

Oh yes.

You leave now and my whole family

is going to the poor house.

You're in deep, lady.

Buried.

Thank you.

For saving my brother

and for agreeing to help his business.

I know you're just some internet weirdo

and technically I should like,

karate chop you and call the cops.

But you seem pretty okay to me.

Thank you.

Betsey?

Yeah?

What's with Everett?

Don't worry about him.

We're basically his only family, so he's protective.

He means well.

It's my nightmare.

It's absolutely my nightmare.

Jared?

Jared it's me, your mother, Lynn Carr.

He's got a concussion, he's not deaf.

Mom?

Good morning.

Ah, he's awake.

Wonderful.

Let's have a look here.

That's very bright, mister.

Well, you had a bump on the head.

Bike accident.

I did?

My head feels like cotton.

Mmm-hmm, that's the gauze.

Please don't pull that off.

Who are you?

Me? I'm Tenley.

Oh dear.

Okie dokie, artichokie.

Night night.

What happened? Is he okay?

Oh, nothing to worry about.

He's still heavily sedated.

Perfectly normal for him to be a little bit loopy.

He'll be in and out for the next few days.

Now, as soon as his head injury is stabilized,

we definitely need to operate on that knee.

But he will be okay?

He'll be able to eat jello like a normal person one day?

Oh yeah, fork and all.

Or do you eat jello with a spoon?

You know what? I think I'm team fork.

Anyways, all we have to do now is let him rest

and let the body do the work.

We should go too, we have a lot of work to do.

You don't have to help me, you know.

Ron can be hard to say no to, but I can handle this on my own.

Okay, sure.

Just out of curiosity,

what percentage of household waste can be recycled?

52 percent.

Oh... 84.

It's okay to just admit you need my help.

If we're going to do this, I need you to be honest with me.

No lies.

I can't do business with people I can't trust.

Okay.

So, tell me honestly.

Why didn't Jared tell us about you?

Honestly?

I don't know.

Alright.

Let's get to work then.

Alright, I'll meet you in the conference room.

You know where that is, right?

Yes.

Of course.

Please be the conference room...

Oh no.

Uh-oh.

Everett! Everett help!

A little help in here, please!

Hi...

I just wanted to make sure that the cleaning products

were all non-toxic.

And uh... yes.

Look at that, this is a good choice.

Okay.

The sustainability initiatives, they're remarkable.

But you're forcing the customer to eat the bulk of the costs.

We've been over and over this.

We can't keep our employees paid if some of that burden

doesn't fall on the consumer.

Right, but that's why a lot of people

shy away from green products is because of the cost.

If you want to stand out, you have to be affordable.

The board is going to sell, I can feel it.

Ronnie and Lynn, they put all their trust in us

and we're going to fail them.

There has to be a way to streamline.

Make your products appeal to consumers.

Actually be able to compete with Panama.

If you have any miracle solutions,

I am all ears.

This doesn't make any sense.

Of course it does!

When you're only selling expensive imported products--

No, no, not that, you.

What do you mean?

I've known Jared my entire life, he tells me everything.

He told me the time that he peed himself

in sophomore gym class after the quarter mile run.

And he had already showered and changed,

so he didn't have to, but he did.

Because he tells me everything.

But you, he hasn't told me anything about you.

I get it.

It's a lot to take in.

And the last thing I intended

was for my presence to cause such a tornado.

I promise I only want what's best for Jared.

And I was trying to do what was right in the moment,

but I see now that I just need to come out--

[phone ringing]

Hi Lynn.

No I haven't yet, I will, I will.

Okay, bye.

That's Lynn, she's insisting we both go to dinner tonight.

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Nothing.

He was an awful soccer player.

Always kicking it in the wrong goal.

Everett was always the athlete of the family.

I don't know about that,

he had me beat in track and field.

Nonsense!

Jared always ran like a giraffe

that got shot with a tranquilizer dart.

You let him win.

He was lucky to have you watching out for him.

No, I was lucky to have you guys.

It must have been nice having siblings.

I always wanted them.

Well our family is your family now, Petal.

And we're all in this together.

You should stay again tonight.

We'll have breakfast in the morning.

Yeah, stay!

I would love that.

-Oh, thank you. -Thank you.

Let's get started earlier tomorrow.

We're running out of time.

Yeah, sure.

I'll come pick you up first thing.

Sounds good.

What?

Nothing, I just haven't seen that shirt in forever.

I guess Jared's had it the whole time.

I'm sorry, I thought this was Jared's.

Doesn't matter.

Alright.

Tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

[gasping]

Jiminy Cricket!

You scared me.

So, how did it go today?

It was worse than I thought it would be.

Everett definitely doesn't trust me.

Well, you did just emerge from some chat room

and dupe your way into my family.

So can you blame him?

No.

So what's the deal?

You guys are his only family. What's that all about?

He lost his parents when he was young.

His grandparents raised him and when they passed,

my family just kind of took him in.

He's basically my brother.

I'm sorry, I didn't know that.

He pretends to be all put together,

but really, he's kind of a mush.

[door opening]

What was that?

Betsey...

Betsey, move!

-I can explain. -Move!

No!

Hey!

That's why you're always in Jared's room.

Who is that boy?

Is that your boyfriend?

No... kind of.

His name is Ryan.

I know my mom would never let me date him,

so we just hang out in the yard and talk

and that's all, I swear.

No, that's not acceptable.

You can't hide this!

Oh yes I can.

And I was doing a good job of it until you showed up.

Would you like me to call my mom in here

and tell her your little secret?

Mom!

Shhh!

Chill!

You know I wouldn't actually tell her.

We need you to help save the business

and make sure my parents don't lose the house

and blah--

Have you ever tried just asking her for permission?

Oh no I'm telling you, she wouldn't go for it.

She's really strict.

Tell him to come back tomorrow at a reasonable hour.

I'll help you talk to your mom.

Fine.

Also tell him to stop throwing rocks, it's very rude.

Okay.

Good girl.

[Lynn talking to someone]

Oh, good morning dear!

Tenley, this is Larissa.

Larissa, this is Tenley, Jared's wife.

Hi.

Excuse me, did you just say wife?

Tenley...

Jared never mentioned you.

How long have you two known each other?

About a year or so.

A year?

Larissa, I made some brownies.

You have to take some with you.

Okay.

Hey mom, this is my friend, Ryan.

Oh?

Hi Mrs. Carr, so nice to meet you.

I was hoping I could take Betsey to homecoming,

if that would be okay with you?

Oh.

Great!

Ryan, is that yours?

Sure is, it's my Franken-bike.

Betsey, kitchen. Now.

So you're the secret wife, eh?

Careful, secret boyfriend.

Apparently everyone is just full of secrets.

Mom, it's just a dance!

It's not like I'm joining a cult or something.

You never let me do anything!

I'm not a kid anymore.

Maybe I should go over there.

What's going on?

Betsey has a boyfriend.

Yikes.

Who showed up on that death mobile!

OMG, will one of you guys talk some sense into this lady?

Hey, that is Mom to you.

What if...

What if Betsey can go to the dance

on the condition that she not ride the franken-bike.

Come on Lynn,

you let Jared take Larissa to the same dance, same age.

I'll drive them.

That's nice of you.

It's nothing.

Lynn, all high schoolers go to dances.

You should give this a chance.

Exactly!

It's not the middle ages, or whatever.

You can't just lock me in a tower.

Fine!

But no motorcycle.

And I don't want to hear, "Mom can I get my nose pierced?"

ever again, you hear me?

I'll just do it when I go to college!

Thanks you guys!

These look so good.

Yeah, we had them last night.

So, he's been with you a full year?

I'm sorry.

You have nothing to apologize for.

You seem great.

Thank you, so do you.

Bye.

You don't need to worry about her.

You have got to stop doing that.

I don't even know how you enter without making any noise.

You're like a Prius!

She and Jared are just friends.

They dated in high school,

but since then they've just been homies.

So you don't need to worry.

I got a call back!

Nice, not bad for a theater nerd.

I should do a dress rehearsal tonight for everyone!

Tenley, will you come?

Oh, I don't know if I can.

Please! I need this part.

And I really want your feedback.

It's a school play, not the Oscars.

Actually, I would love to come.

Really?

We're late.

Could we stop at my place first?

Sure.

That's my shirt too.

[Narrator] The female rhino rebuffs

the attention of the male.

But the male remains persistent in his quest for--

You're home.

I was about to file a missing persons report about you.

What are you wearing?

Hi...

This is Everett, Jared's friend.

Hi, I'm Cami.

Hey.

I have to change.

How is it you went from being a completely dateless recluse

to married and dragging some model to our place

in the span of like two days?

He's not a model, he's Jared's best friend

and quasi brother, I guess.

So why is he here?

Because his business with Jared is a sinking ship

that apparently only I can save.

Otherwise Ronnie and Lynn are going to lose their house.

Jared's sister Betsey knows everything,

But she's insisting that I keep it a secret.

Oh, and I met Larissa, Jared's high school sweetheart,

which was the cherry on top of a disaster sundae.

There are too many characters, I cannot follow this.

I don't even know how to tell them.

Every time I try, I get interrupted by a doctor

or a teenager.

Wait, what teenager?

There are two, Faye and Betsey.

Tenley, get a grip and just tell them.

Cami, they'll hate me.

Why are you doing all this?

For a guy that literally didn't tell anyone in his life

that you exist!

You talked my ear off about Jared for a year.

Don't you think it's weird that no one in his life

knows about you?

Did you ever consider that maybe this whole thing

is one-sided?

1-800-OUCH.

1-800-HARSH-BUT-TRUE.

It's about more than just Jared.

Everett can't pull off the presentation alone.

Cami...

He needs my help.

I don't want to hurt them.

Ten, you're already hurting them.

[foot tapping]

Aww, little Tenley.

[throat clearing]

You ready?

-Yeah. -Let's go.

Don't forget your lunch.

Thank you.

No, that is not the right composting method.

Let me see.

It is the right composting method.

Jared did it himself.

No it isn't, give me the thing.

Wrong!

Alright, I think we need to eat some lunch.

We're both a little hangry.

I'm not hangry.

Okay, maybe I am a little hangry.

Wow, I've got a sandwich.

That's quite the spread.

Yeah, I grew most of it in my garden.

You're a green thumb?

I try to buy local, I use my own produce.

It's actually pretty affordable. Do you want some?

You can get all of this locally?

Actually very affordable.

That's good.

Affordable, Everett!

How affordable?

Like $3.50...

$3.50, that's it?

Yes!

Eliminate all the companies you pay to import.

Who needs French wine and Italian cheese

when you have all these great local vendors here

that won't charge tariffs and delivery fees?

All local, all the time, sustainable and affordable!

Boom!

Oh...

Now that is not affordable.

Sorry!

But tell me more.

I just don't know how you can afford to be that clumsy.

Okay, you know.

What is up with you and smashing electronics?

My frustrating, yet often adorable

lack of spacial awareness?

Okay, so if go with your plan

then we have to swap out the supply chain.

Which will mean we need to have vendors.

I have an idea.

Can you meet me in an hour?

-Sure, where? -I'll text you the address.

[upbeat pop song]

♪ Whoa, you're my blue heaven

♪ I need you right now to make it okay ♪

Hey!

Hey.

Welcome to my garden!

I thought you could try some stuff for yourself.

Wow.

Now, a lot of these vendors operate here,

but also have farms outside of the city.

Hold on here.

You run this whole place?

Mmm-hmm.

Okay, we have clover, manukkah and lavender honey.

The lavender one is my favorite.

I'm really sorry.

So it's not just techy stuff you like to break?

Okay, let's see.

We also have this beautiful selection of cheeses.

All of these dips, fantastic.

And the fruit, all organic of course.

And this is all from here?

Wow.

This whole time we were so focused on gourmet products,

that we overlooked what was right in front of us.

Yeah, I love it here.

It's pretty fantastic.

So you won the national science competition?

Yes, that's for my research on soil sustainability.

I'm actually still working on that old school project.

It's good.

Shows commitment.

Did you always know you wanted to run your own business?

Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted.

Jared was the idea guy

and I was just trying to repay their family for everything.

This is the first day I've ever looked at it

as more than just a numbers game.

There's actually one more thing I'd like to show you.

No, wrong again.

What?

You're telling me that's not a carrot?

That is a beet.

That is why the sign is there.

Oh, I thought it was in there--

[talking over each other]

Hello, look who it is again.

What are you doing here?

I garden.

My garden.

Now...

Why don't you just have a little chat with Miss Dearly there?

You didn't tell him, did you?

Not technically, no.

Seriously?

What do you think is gonna happen

if you keep going on like this, Tenley?

Tenley!

Do you like him?

We are this close to saving the company

and then that's it.

I'm going to see it through and I'm done.

I haven't seen you look at anyone like that

since we went to that Renaissance Fair

in sixth grade and you got all weird about that knight

who gave you a tulip.

It was a rose.

I had a thing for jousting, okay?

Who hasn't?

And there is nothing going on with Everett!

-Hey... -Hi.

She's not much of a talker.

Oh!

Surprising.

-Hey. -Hey.

We should go. That thing for Faye.

Oh yes!

-Audition. -Audition!

Faye's audition, of course!

Nothing going on.

Hey, Miss Dearly.

No, that's mine.

Okay fine.

Fine, fine, fine...

Hey, there you are.

I was just pummeling Ron at bocce.

What a bold faced lie! I'm up by two points.

You should join us.

Fun, I've never played before.

That's alright, Everett can teach you.

I see how it is.

They're setting me up with the novice.

Okay!

Don't mind him, he's too competitive for his own good.

You better not mess up my winning streak, kid.

Winning streak?

I'm the only one in this house with a winning streak.

Undefeated champion!

Please.

Okay, I'm just warming up.

Everett?

So you want to get Ron's ball out.

Never.

Beginner's luck!

I don't know Ron, maybe I'm just good at this.

Nice!

What about that?

Alright, you got this.

[screaming and cheering]

Wait, did I just win?

You're the champion.

-It's a good shot. -Nice winning streak.

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

Showtime.

The stage looks amazing.

Look at this.

I love that.

The applause sign, how cute.

Now see that noble and most sovereign reason.

Like sweet bells jangled out of tune and harsh,

that unmatch'd form and feature of blown youth

blasted with ecstasy.

Oh woe is me, to have seen what I have seen,

see what I see.

[applause]

Lovely, just lovely.

Amazing!

I have no idea what it was about.

It's about seeing someone good and noble

turn into something ugly and lose themself

to the point where they're unrecognizable.

Come on, Dad.

Okay.

Faye, you were amazing.

Really? Thanks.

I'm sorry about that.

You okay?

Yeah, I just got a little overwhelmed.

I get it.

There's a lot going on.

What are you doing?

Doodling.

It's really relaxing, you should try it.

Okay.

[crash]

-That was you. -That was you!

That was all you that time!

I'll get it.

No no, I'll get it.

Wait please, let me get it.

[laughter]

[glass clinking]

Speech!

Alright, settle down everyone.

Settle down.

First of all, I think that we owe

a round of great applause to Faye for her

stunning performance this evening.

And I've also got some other news.

I talked Dr. McMahon.

Jared is doing amazingly well.

He's going to get his knee surgery tonight.

We can see him tomorrow morning.

And... Tenley.

We started off the week with some bad news.

And then we got some wonderful news.

We can't wait to welcome you to the family.

So to our growing, wonderful, wild family!

Cheers!

[glasses clink]

Cheers.

Thank you again for another wonderful meal.

Your family has been so kind.

It's your family too, Petal.

Oh no please, leave it.

No...

Lynn, I insist.

You are so sweet.

Jared is going to be over the moon

to see you tomorrow.

I can't wait.

Tenley dear, I noticed you don't wear a ring.

I don't...

I don't really wear a lot of jewelry.

Well, there's an heirloom.

It's my grandmother's engagement ring

and I would like you to have it.

I couldn't.

Nonsense, you should have it.

-I shouldn't have it. -Just try it on!

-Lynn, I can't. Just try...

Okay.

It's perfection!

Oh Everett, come here.

Come look!

I just gave Tenley my grandmother's engagement ring.

Look, it's just perfect.

Yeah, it's nice.

Goodnight, you two.

Oh, it's tight.

It's like really tight!

You should try sliding it--

I'm trying to slide it off.

Help! I can't get it off!

I've got an idea, I'll be right back.

Oooh...no!

The ring looks good on you.

It's not meant for me, clearly.

You can get it resized.

It's like everything I do gets me further into a mess.

That's a bit dramatic.

Okay.

Let's see.

You want a count down?

Yes, please.

3-2-1.

Oh!

It worked.

Thank you, thank you...

Thank you.

Do you want a ride home?

I can just walk.

Do you want some company?

Sure.

That's great news about Jared.

Yeah, it's terrific.

[talking over each other]

You first.

I just want to say thank you for everything today.

Seriously, it's amazing. It's a game changer.

It's nothing.

It's not nothing.

And I know that I've been a bit protective.

Protective, really? I had not noticed.

It's just that, you know, they're my family

and Jared's my brother.

And you puff your chest out when you see a threat coming.

Yeah, I get it.

Hey, I now know why that Jared kept you a secret.

Why?

It's just that...

We're kind of like a package deal

and don't get me wrong, it's great,

but I just wish sometimes it didn't have to be like that.

That our identities are that intertwined.

That's probably why.

No, I envy that.

Don't.

I'm an only child.

My mom raised me by herself

and she worked all the time.

I always thought that siblings seemed like so much fun.

Its kind of hard to play tag by yourself.

I won almost every time.

I'll bet you did.

[laughs]

Yeah, they're fun sometimes.

When they're not stealing your clothes and stuff like that.

Which is something you picked up awfully quick.

To be fair, I thought I was stealing Jared's clothes.

You are so lucky to have such a big, warm family.

The noises, the laughter, the chaos of it all.

Everett, I love it.

Everybody is all so different, you know?

I never got to experience that.

My childhood was all one note.

My mom and I were so similar,

we might as well have been the same person.

Nothing wrong with that.

No, I know.

It's just that...

I guess I never realized how vibrant a family could be

until I met yours.

They're your family now, too.

Right.

What were you going to say earlier?

What?

Before the whole childhood back story.

Oh, it's nothing.

There's so much going on right now,

I don't want to have to worry about it.

Thanks for walking me home.

Yeah.

So tomorrow, right?

See you tomorrow.

Hi.

I umm...

I thought I should talk to you before the rest of the family.

I wanted to apologize for letting things

get so out of hand.

You have always been such a great friend to me.

And I'm so sorry if I mistook that friendship

for something more.

I built you up to be this mythic figure.

You were always behind a screen.

It was easier that way, you know?

Be honest.

Do you think they'll hate me when they find out tomorrow?

Right.

By the way...

I think the company is going to be okay.

Yeah Everett, he did an amazing job.

He's actually...

He's wonderful.

Uh-oh...

Feelings!

That's bad, that is so very, very bad.

Do you mind if I stress eat this?

Oh dear.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Hi Tenley.

You came to see him last night?

Why isn't he awake yet?

Doc said he's still on a lot of medication

after the surgery, could be awhile yet.

Nothing to worry about, dear.

How's he doing?

A-okay.

That's great.

Then he'll be ready for Wednesday.

I have to tell you something.

It is long overdue.

What is it, Petal?

I'm not Jared's--

Oh hey, I actually need to talk to you

for a second, if you could just...

Betsey, what are you doing?

You can't tell them yet!

I am tired of lying and lying and lying.

Please! Just a little longer.

Until Wednesday.

What difference is a couple days going to make?

The board moved the presentation up.

It's in two days.

My family needs this company to survive.

No! The presentation, it's done.

I did my part, they can handle it from here.

But there's no way Jared's going to be ready in time.

Look.

It has to be you, Tenley.

Everett keeps saying how solid you guys are as a team.

He needs your help still.

We can't lose the house.

My parents have put so much into this company.

There's too much riding on it for you to give up now.

Okay, okay. Fine!

I will do the presentation, but then that's it.

Oh, there's just one more thing I need.

You have got to be kidding me!

Want to help me pick out a dress?

Mom's going to make me re-use her 80's poof dress.

I have a better idea.

So?

What did you want to tell us?

Oh, it's nothing.

Tenley, by the way, the presentation is on--

Wednesday, yes. Betsey told me.

If Jared can't do it,

do you think that you could handle his part?

Of course.

Tenley, you're not wearing the ring?

Yeah Lynn, we needed vice-grips to get it off.

It doesn't fit.

Oh well, we can just get it sized.

We should go to the office.

Bye.

Okay, I'll run through the lower import costs.

Right, and I'll put out the climate data--

And then we both finish with the mission statement.

Cheers!

Okay, you know.

I'll save that.

Cheers to sustainability.

[glasses clink]

Oh no, the infamous happy dance.

Oh, you know it!

I was... ouch! I will show you.

It looks better on you.

I'll show you.

I need to see it from the start.

Okay, it's going to go like this.

One-two-three, four-five-six...

A bit of a turn...

And then like a pose moment.

One-two-three, I'm not doing it.

I just wanted to see you do it one more time.

[laughter]

Umm...

I should go...

Cami is lending Betsey some dress samples.

Okay, yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

[door knocking]

Hey.

Whoa, there's so many.

It pays to have a roommate who works in fashion.

Okay, you can't just leave cool details

like that out for so long.

Honestly, that should've been the first thing you told me.

Okay, okay.

One-two-three.

[whimsical music]

I feel like a pastry.

But you're such an adorable pastry.

[tango music]

[dramatic organ music]

[giggling]

I look like a vampire!

Yeah, okay.

[classical music]

Oh, I don't know about this one.

[hip music]

[gasp]

I love it.

Me too.

Thank goodness, because we were running out of options.

Tenley, thank you for bringing these over.

Really, you saved us a trip to the mall.

It's nothing.

No seriously, you haven't seen my mom and I at the mall.

It's that bad.

We are the worst at the mall.

The last time we went, she wanted to buy this...

What did you call it again?

A romper.

A romper, that's right.

It is the most ridiculous thing.

There's just no reason for your shirt and pants to be attached.

You're not a toddler.

It was cute, Mom.

Maybe when you were three.

Regardless, your roommate is like my fairy godmother.

I'll let her know you said that.

Oh, Larissa! What a lovely surprise.

I just stopped by to return this.

Hey, Larissa. Long time no see.

I'm sorry, I should go. I didn't mean to interrupt.

You're not interrupting, you should join us.

Come in.

No, I should go.

What's up with her?

I don't know, seasonal allergies maybe?

She seemed kinda sad.

Shoes.

I have shoe options to try.

Great!

[phone dialling]

Hi, you've reached Rita.

I'm on an excursion in the Alaskan wilderness

and won't be by my phone for another three to five months.

Whatever the glaciers need from me.

Leave a message!

Hi mom, I umm...

I know you're on an eco mission

and trying to save the planet right now, but...

I really need you.

If you could call me back, that would be great.

I love you.

How come the sunshine isn't coming

through your pores today?

You speak?

Only when it's absolutely necessary.

I've been running this garden

for five years and I've never heard

you say a word to anyone.

Let me guess...

You're crying because of that boy

that was here the other day.

Or is it the boy you were always tweeting at?

Both.

Mrs. Dearly, it's a mess.

Love is a lot like gardening.

You water the parts you want to keep,

and you weed out the ones you don't.

What if I'm the weed?

A violet is a weed.

And I adore violets.

Water the boy you like.

[door knocking]

Come in!

-Hey. -Hi.

I'm sorry I was so harsh the other day.

No, that's okay.

You were right, I should have told them from the start

and I wouldn't be in this stupid mess.

You were just doing what you thought was right.

The presentation to the board is tomorrow and then that's it.

I'm just going to put it all out there.

Let the chips fall as they may.

You know, maybe there's a chance Everett will understand.

Yeah, I doubt that.

I'm strangely more worried about what

Everett will think of me than Jared.

Of course you are, you like him.

And I'm proud of you for building a connection

with a real human man in the real world.

Even if that relationship is probably doomed.

1-800-RUDE!

1-800 be glad you didn't get arrested!

You!

What? I'm just saying the likelihood of him

being cool with dating a girl who pretended

to be married to his comatose best friend

slash sort of brother, is pretty slim.

But not impossible!

Okay, that's fair.

I'm here if you need me. You know that right?

Thank you.

Of course.

Are you serious?

[message ping]

So...

What are we doing?

Our senior year, right before state championships,

Jared and I, we were unbelievably nervous.

I was nervous, Jared didn't play a lot.

He was on the bench.

[laughing]

Regardless, we were too high to sleep,

so this is where we went.

You ready?

Here is where we're going?

-We're going here? -Yeah.

This is it.

Just wait for me, please.

Okay, so this is your old high school.

But what is with the twinkle lights?

That was all that I could find.

-You don't like them? -No, they're lovely.

But Everett, I have no idea what we're doing here.

Remember I said we came here before big matches?

And then after that,

it kind of turned into anything big.

High pressure situations, bad things happening,

good things happening.

We just come here and we play it out.

Okay.

We have something big happening

and I thought you should be a part of the tradition.

-Heads or tails? -Tails.

Kick or side?

Yeah, I don't know what either of those words mean.

You want to kick, cause there's just one side.

Okay.

And you're up!

Oh my god, right away.

Okay, I'm going.

And Tenley Sweeney tries to make a back door open.

She can...

No, you're off side.

Now the goal is open.

Oh my god, she scored.

And Tenley Sweeney gets the game winner!

Hey, I wanted to apologize to you.

Apologize for what?

Misjudging you.

I think that you're amazing.

Everett, I have to tell you something.

These past few days, I feel like a tiny seed

that has been swept up

and carried by a hundred different winds.

And you think you're doing a good thing,

but that good thing turns out to be super, super bad.

But you never meant to be bad.

And the truth is that sometimes people

are just accidentally bad, but they never meant to be bad.

They meant to be good.

Does that make any sense?

No, you're not really making a lot of sense right now.

I don't know how we got into this mess,

but I feel so compelled to tell you the truth right now.

I am not...

Betsey?

What do you mean you're not Betsey?

I mean Betsey, our Betsey,

is about to get on a franken-bike.

Betsey! Both of you off that bike, now!

How could you be so irresponsible?

Sneaking off on a motorcycle?

It's called a franken-bike.

That doesn't matter.

Your mom made herself very clear.

How could you break her trust like that?

I still don't get what the big deal is.

The big deal is you lied, Betsey.

Pot meet kettle, right Tenley?

Well, we should go.

Both of you! Get off the bike!

That is what you sounded like, I swear.

-Did I say that? -Yeah.

That's why we do stuff like that.

It's a nice easy going night, there's no yelling.

It did not go as expected.

Nothing ever does.

Good night, Everett.

Yeah, good night.

Oh, thank goodness you're back.

Please help me with this mysterious sobbing woman.

Are you okay?

I can't take it anymore, I have to tell you.

Tell me what?

I am a horrible, awful, wretched person.

I'm a mistress!

I can't believe that I'm the other woman,

but I didn't know about you!

I swear I didn't know about you.

I know you don't know me,

but I feel like we could be friends?

Is there any way you could forgive me?

You did nothing wrong, Larissa.

I'm not Jared's wife.

What do you mean?

Yeah, we're not married.

I'm just a friend from a sustainability forum.

I called and he was in the hospital

and then next thing I was signing all these forms.

There was a mix-up,

the doctor thought I was his wife, but I'm not.

Really, I've barely even met him in real life.

So, he wasn't cheating on you with me?

No.

And he was always just my boyfriend?

Yes.

This is so absurd!

Absolutely ridiculous.

[laughter]

I know.

Larissa, I'm so sorry.

Would you like some tea?

Yeah, I would love some tea.

[message ping]

Oh my gosh.

You lied to both of them.

I just thought you were better than that.

What's going on?

You lied about having a wife.

Then apparently, you have a girlfriend on top of that?

What's wrong with you?

What are you talking about? I don't have a wife.

And I've never cheated on anyone.

Well then who is she?

How am I supposed to know?

I've never met this person before in my life.

Tenley?

This was never meant to happen.

We were just supposed to go for coffee--

Wait, Tenley?

Tenley, the chat room girl?

So you do know her?

No! Well, kind of.

She's a pen pal, a sustainability contact.

Someone I'd run business ideas by, nothing more.

I've been dating Larissa for the past two months.

Now hold on!

So this whole time Tenley, you've been lying to us!

From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.

Really I tried to tell you--

I pressured her to stay and help the business.

It's my fault too!

You knew?

You and dad were so worried about losing the house

and the business going under.

Oh, Everett...

Let me explain.

Everett, wait!

I knew it.

You know, the second they mentioned the wife thing

I knew that that was a lie.

Please just let me explain...

Explain what?

How you barged into my family?

How you manipulated us into thinking

that you're somebody that you're not?

I said I don't deal with liars.

No, I know.

I lied and I am so sorry.

I swear, I was just trying to help.

Right.

I loved being a part of your family.

Do you get that?

It felt so nice.

And then you, Everett.

I fell for you, okay?

I think that you should stay away from me and my family.

I know you don't want to hear her name right now, but...

Tenley did a great job on all this.

Yeah, let's just get this over with.

[sigh]

Using this new model,

we can launch ourselves into the territory

where we not only can say no to acquisitions,

we can compete in a real way with Panama.

And since all the goods are local,

we'll also do a service to the all artisans

in our very own community.

So if you'll just turn to...

Courtesy of Tenley.

Feel free to sample.

[door knocking]

Wanna watch Planet Earth and eat pizza?

Yes.

Listen, I know you're really bummed

about this whole thing, but you aren't alone.

You have me.

I love you.

I love you too.

You really need a shower though, babe.

What?

Oh wait, Mrs. Dearly! She talked to me.

Shut up! She talks?

She spoke, she said words.

[phone ringing]

Mom!

Hi! I miss you.

You would not believe the last few days I've had.

Yeah, I'll tell you everything.

I guess we saved the company.

Yeah.

Look man.

I'm sorry for accusing you of cheating.

It's been a weird week.

I got married and unmarried

and I wasn't even awake to know about it.

You know, even though Tenley did a lot of things wrong...

She did a lot right.

I mean, she did save my life.

And she saved this place.

And she got you to finally take part

in my side of the business.

I just don't know how somebody does something like that?

Betsey told me you guys went to the soccer field.

So?

That is sacred ground.

I thought that she was family, that's all.

You don't think I noticed?

Noticed what?

Remember that year we went up against each other

in the State Quiz Bowl?

The final question was,

"Name the only switch hitter with 536 home runs."

And I know you knew the answer because

we just finished watching Mickey Mantle's biography.

But you looked at me and you took your finger off the buzzer.

I saw it, and that was it.

I buzzed, you didn't. I won state and you didn't.

You always just let me win.

No I haven't.

It's practically a reflex with you.

So much so that you don't even realize

that we're not even competing anymore.

Hey, which one of you guys is going to give me a ride home?

I'll take you home.

Yeah, I'm going to hang here.

Everett...

Maybe you should let yourself win this one.

Betsey, why didn't you tell me about Tenley?

Why does it even matter?

I mean Jared is better.

He and Larissa are together.

The company is fine.

That is not the point.

She's a nice person.

She tried to tell us the truth over and over

and most of the time I was the one

begging her not to.

So, if you're going to be mad at anyone,

it should be me.

I can't be mad at you, though.

Well, then I guess that's that.

By the way, I never told you...

What else haven't you told me?

You have a great dad yell.

Well, back to our usual spot.

Cheers to your first marriage!

And to putting myself out there!

You were right, Cami. I needed it.

So does that mean I can finally set up

an online dating profile for you?

Yeah, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I'm proud of you.

You're my family.

You're my family too.

I don't see any mint like we talked about.

And yes, we will grow you mint--

Cocktails.

I know, I know.

But we need more green in your garden and less...

Brown!

Less brown! Yes, that's what we're working on first.

We're going to bring it all to life

and then we'll do mint.

We have to do it in stages.

Green first.

I don't know if you're ready for mint yet.

I ... sure.

That's what I'm saying.

I try.

You try so hard.

I always forget to water them.

You dropped this.

Nice catch.

Did the board sell?

Nope.

That makes me so happy.

You saved the company.

And you saved my best friend's life.

You made me realize that

I need to stop letting everybody else win

and go after what I want.

And what is that?

You.

[applause]