Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

'Why?'

'It wasn't over for me!'

'I waited for you for seven years..'

'...and now it's too late.'

'I wrote you 365 letters.'

I wrote you every single day for a year.

You..

...you wrote me?

Yes!

I wrote you every single day.

You..

It wasn't over for me.

It still isn't over.

Yes! Jon Ham, you are so right!

It is the rain scene from "The Notebook."

Aw, well, thank you.

I am a pretty good actress

but you all

are an excellent audience.

You guys are so sweet.

You're right, it would be

amazing to get to perform

in front of a bigger audience

but... I just don't think

that's in the cards for me yet, boys and girls.

Stop it.

You're going to make me blush.

You know, it would be amazing

to be a real actress

like in Hollywood, but..

...I just gotta make it there somehow.

♪ Been in a daydream all my life ♪

♪ This place is like a cage ♪

♪ I'm feeling stuck and don't know why ♪

♪ They tell me where's your common sense? ♪

♪ Girl you got a big blue sky ♪

♪ And a picket fence ♪

♪ But I need something more ♪

♪ To step outside ♪

♪ A country home ♪

♪ To find my way ♪

♪ And now's the time ♪

♪ I know that I have the courage ♪

♪ To spread my wings and fly ♪

♪ Somehow ♪

♪ Some way ♪

♪ I feel inside ♪

♪ My day is waiting for me ♪

♪ I'm gonna write my own story ♪

♪ My own story ♪

♪ One day they'll shower me with praise ♪

♪ I'll have a real hard time ♪

♪ To keep the handsome guys away ♪

♪ Followed by my adoring fans ♪

♪ I got the whole wide world in the palm of my hands ♪

♪ And I'll be someone great ♪

♪ They'll know my name ♪

♪ And I'll have found my purpose ♪

♪ Sometimes it seems ♪

♪ Against the odds ♪

♪ My dreams are waiting for me ♪

♪ I'm gonna write my own story ♪

♪ My own story ♪♪

'Finley!'

'Finley!'

Finley!

What is she doing?

She's pretending to be a Disney princess.

- I mean, that is so sad. - Yeah.

Oh, but I love that one move with the arms.

I'm hungry!

Make me some food.

- Kale, you're in my shot. - Whatever.

What did I tell you about getting in my shot?

'Sorry.'

♪ You mad ♪

♪ You mad huh? ♪

♪ You mad you mad huh? ♪

Okay.

♪ Oh you mad? ♪

♪ Yeah you mad huh? ♪

Okay, it's ready.

Oh, my God!

♪ Don't try it ♪♪

- You just ruined my TikTok! - Wow.

Oh, I... I'm so sorry, Saffron, I didn't, I didn't know, I..

- It was really good. - Oh, really good.

- It was really good. - Kale.

Here you go.

Oh.

What is this? Pork?

No, it's salmon.

Is there pork in it?

No. No, there's no pork in salmon.

It's fish.

You-you said that you wanted fish.

I-I said I wanted fish fingers. Fish fingers.

These are not fish fingers.

Oh, my God, Kale! Quit saying "Fish fingers."

Fish fingers.

Wait. What?

- What? - What?

- What? - No way!

I mean, there's no freaking.. What?

Oh, my God, stop. What?

- Guess what's coming to town? - What?

- Guess who is coming to town? - Who?

I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm going to punch you

in the neck if you don't spit it out, Saffron.

"The Hollywood film, "Billy the Kid - The Musical"

has arrived in Dreary, Idaho."

That's where we live.

Okay.

"Cameras begin rolling tomorrow

as does a town-wide audition."

This is all about revenue.

Do you know how much money this could bring in to this little...

Shut up, Kale!

Nobody cares about revenue.

You shut up, Saffron! It's all about revenue.

Can you let her finish?

- Rude. - Thank you, Finley.

You're welcome.

- Okay. Yeah, okay. - Go on.

Blah, blah "Production value."

Okay, here, "The cast is led

by up-and-coming dreamy actor Jackson Stone."

Jackson Stone.

"As you know, Jackson was discovered

on a ranch in a town not unlike Dreary."

Okay, like, they're talking about farms. Nobody cares.

"The auditions will be held at noon tomorrow at the Mill.

Come prepared to sing, dance.."

Obviously and.. Wow!

- Mom.. - Oh!

- Saffron.. - I'm going to that audition.

- Oh, yes, you are. - Oh, I am!

- I think I'm going to go, too. - Oh, you're not an actor.

Well, that's fine. Neither are you.

I'm obviously not going to audition, Saffron.

I am gonna to be Jackson Stone's manager.

You're not a manager.

Oh, really?

Then how would you explain Wanda's Waffle and Sushi House

blowing it up on the 'Gram?

- That was all me. - They have, like, 37 followers.

Oh, that's 35 more than you do.

Um..

Can I go, too?

Huh?

I want to audition.

Mom.

Oh, no. No.

You-you can't go to the audition.

You have far too many things to do here around the house.

Please, can't they help out too? I..

Is it their fault that your father

had to own a farm

with horses and pigs that need to be milked...

No, no, mom, uh, pigs don't need to be milked.

Okay, I will wake up really early tomorrow

and I will do my chores and if they are not finished in time

I won't go, I promise.

Fine... fine.

- Really? - I'll leave you a list.

- Okay, thank you. - Okay.

Oh, and you will also need to take

that annoying little pig to the butcher.

Mm-hmm, yes, pork chops.

Ba-boom! And see with that spin, if we can get that spin..

With the, with the tassels coming up, that's really nice.

'Hit me now. Hit me.'

'Yes! That's it! That's it.'

'The studio is gonna love that.'

This is looking like money. This is looking like money all day.

Mm!

Oh, Valerian! I... thought that everyone was already asleep.

We were. What are you doing in here?

I just, um..

You see, it's really cold tonight

so I thought that maybe I could sleep on the couch, you know

if that's okay.

No, Finley, that's not okay.

This isn't a flop house.

You have the largest bedroom of us all.

It's not really a bedroom.

'Is that not enough for you?'

You have to kick us out of our living room, too?

It's just... really cold tonight, that's all.

Oh..

Well, take a blanket.

Surprise, surprise. Guess who said no.

Here, it's for you tonight.

You've got to be cold, too.

I know.

I know you told me she'd say no, I just..

...thought maybe..

Okay.

Man!

Okay..

Cold.

Goodnight, boys.

Goodnight, Jon Ham.

Goodnight, Dad.

Oh, God.

Tsk. Perfect.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Take your hand now keep up keep up ♪

What? Be nice!

♪ Take your hand now keep up keep up ♪

♪ We gotta kick it with me ♪

♪ Take your hand now keep up keep up ♪

♪ Gotta make some noise ♪

♪ Take your hand now keep up keep up ♪

♪ We gotta kick it with me ♪♪

Well done.

Come here. Who was such a good helper today?

You were!

'Finley!'

- Mom? - Yeah?

Why are you all dressed up? You're not auditioning.

Oh, well, I was thinking I might, you know?

I mean, I was kind of a big deal back in my day.

Your day was, like, in the '60s

before they had cars or iPhones.

I was the "It Girl" of 1987.

I was on the cover of "Glamour Magazine."

No, you weren't.

Back cover.

- Nope. - Fine.

I was in a print ad in one of those big magazines.

Oh, the hemorrhoid cream ad?

You wish you had a hemorrhoid cream ad, Saffron.

At least mom had a job, unlike someone I know.

Who, you?

- 'Shut up, Saffron.' - 'No, you shut up, Kale.'

Okay, breakfast is ready.

- Here. - Oh, smells crispy.

And, um, I finished up all of my chores

so, I'm going to the audition.

- Mom? - Yeah.

Um, you still need to take that pig to the butcher.

Right, you know, I don't really think

that we should put him down, so why don't we just...

'Oh, you don't think so?'

You think we should just keep hemorrhaging money

for your mangy little animals, hmm?

- They are her only friends. - It's tragic.

Like, who's she talking to? The pig?

We're gonna sell this dump.

- Yes! Thank you! - Oh, my God.

Yes! We are gonna sell this dump and get the hell out of here.

- Yes! - No, you're not.

- Hey, can we just... - Oh, yes, I am. I am.

I could sell this house.

Kale, how much can I sell this house for?

Well, obviously, I'd need like a comparative

market analysis but probably...

You're not selling my house!

- Excuse me? - Mom?

Look..

Guys, I was..

...I was born in this house.

Ew!

Okay, every good memory

that I have is in this house.

This is my home, so..

Oh, honey. No, no, no, no, no.

It was your home

but when your father died, it became my home.

My dad..

...built this home with his own hands... board by board.

Yes, and when we sell it, they will tear it apart..

...board by board.

Bored.

'I-I don't know.'

We don't know. We don't do that.

No, no, no. That's..

Oh, are you and your boyfriend going on a date?

I'm taking the pig to market.

- Oh, good. - Yes.

And she'll cry "Wee, wee, wee"

all the way home.

That is so mean.

Thank you, Saffron.

- I think it's funny. - Okay, bored with that.

- Back to me! - Okay, show me again.

Oh, don't listen to them, Jon Ham.

I would never let them do anything to hurt you.

I'm just going to take you to go see Jerry the Vet.

What?

No. He's not gonna give you a shot, I promise.

He's just gonna watch you for a couple of days

until Valerian forgets about you

and then I can sneak you back into the barn.

Okay?

- Oh, hi, Finley! - Oh, hi, Louise!

- Hi, Jon Ham. - Say hi.

Have you sold any houses lately?

Not if I can help it.

I like this town just the way it is.

Yeah. Us too.

- We'll catch you later. - Okay, bye now.

Bye, Louise.

Come on.

Here we go!

Come on! It's like a playdate. You like Jerry.

You do!

Oh!

Dang it, Jerry.

Yee-haw!

Yes! Perfect. Cut. Thank you.

Okay, that's a cut. Dancers, take ten.

'That was good, Peter. Thank you.'

That one was better than the last one.

Sophia, can we keep that last leg they're moving like that?

That was awesome. Thank you, Peter.

Okay..

Jon Ham, I need you to pay attention.

I need you to be a very good boy, okay?

'Like, a beat sooner on that next one.'

- Can you do that? - 'Well, thank you.'

This is my chance.

'Alright, guys, let's get it cleared out over here.'

Okay, who's next?

Anyone wanna..

...audition today?

- I'll go. - Great. Okay.

Hop on up on the stage.

Okay? Trevor!

'Trevor!'

'She's over in the trailer. Do you need her?'

Okay, Trevor, we are ready for you.

Oh, hey, oh, I gotta go. Okay. Talk soon.

Buh-bye.

- Uh, fun. - Mm-hmm.

'So, uh, who's next here?'

'Okay, first up.'

Uh, okay, sweetheart

'let's see what you got.'

- Sorry. - 'That's alright.'

'Take your time. Any time you're ready.'

- 'Quiet down.' - 'Who's this? Okay, good.'

♪ Well I'm a walking menace ♪

♪ Got fire in my veins and if you see me coming ♪

♪ Boy you best step out my way ♪

♪ I'm a well known rambler ♪

♪ Yes I do as I please ♪

She's got a great voice.

Yeah. Not a very sexy song, though.

♪ You will watch me soaring with the wind behind my sails ♪

♪ I'm a force of nature ♪

♪ Look upon me and despair ♪

♪ Well there must be somethin' in the water ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't be stopped ♪

♪ Better get up out of my way ♪

♪ No I can't be stopped ♪

♪ Go on get up out of my way ♪♪

'Alright!'

She's good, like..

She's great!

She could play Wyatt.

Yeah. That's a guy's role.

I need saloon girls, right?

What is, what's all that?

Well... why can't a girl play the role?

'There were great female gunslingers back in the day.'

Annie Oakley, Calamity Jane, Mary Fields..

Yeah, I'm just not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

And I don't know who they are, so I can't really reference it

but this is what I'm thinking.

I'm not using any of this, but I love that you're trying.

No! Stay, Jon Ham.

Stay! Come on! Come on!

- No! Jon Ham! - Whoa!

No!

- Hey! Hey! - Hey!

Is that a pig?

Jon Ham!

Jon Ham! Jon Ham! I'm so sorry.

Jon Ham! Right now! Come here, right now!

Is that... Finley?

Oh, sorry! Excuse me. Jon Ham! Jon Ham!

Ooh!

Oh!

This is so embarrassing for her.

It's the best.

Jon Ham.

'Some pretty impressive wrangling there.'

Yeah. Not too bad yourself.

Jackson Stone?

Yeah.

Let's, uh, let's get you out of this mud.

There you go.

Sorry.

Say..

Where'd you learn to rope like that?

I... I'm usually better.

Somebody get Jackson out of there, please.

Yeah.

- Jackson? - Yeah?

- We gotta get you out. - Excuse me.

- I'm so sorry. - 'Two seconds.'

I didn't mean to.

- Yeah. - Is that your pig?

- Yes. Yes, sir. He is. - Okay, great.

Get off my set and take your pig with you.

And I don't want to see your face again, you understand?

- I understand. I'm... - Okay, good. Get going.

Yeah! Go home, Pig Girl!

Get out of here, Pig Girl!

Yeah, get out, Pig Girl!

- What was that? That was good. - I don't know what that was.

Hey, it's okay.

- That is so annoying. - Come on.

She always ruins everything for me.

We'd better get going, move on to the next set-up.

I hear you, Derek, all good.

- Jackson! - Kenny.

You okay? That was, I mean, that was crazy, right?

You bet. Real wild.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

So, um, you, uh, you wanna

do you wanna practice some of the stunts?

I'll tell you what, Kenny, uh, not right now.

I gotta get back, alright?

Okay, cool, I just..

Say, you know who that girl was back there?

I don't know, just some local.

Pork chop, pork loin, spare ribs, bacon.

Is everybody happy?

Oh, don't take that tone with me, little Pig Girl.

If you had just done what I asked

you wouldn't have been humiliated.

Yeah, now I have to prepare all over again for my audition.

Did you get any ham?

- Great day. - Good day.

Well, I mean, you were good.

We have to find our legs on our end

but this is how this stuff goes.

You know, it takes the first week.

Jackson, hi. Wardrobe would like you to try these on.

Uh, sure, but did they have this color back then?

- I don't know. - You don't like this?

- I don't think it plays. - Yeah, I'm with you.

Thank you. Appreciate that. Great work today.

- Sorry, man. - Um..

Quickly, I can have him fired if he's annoying you.

- No! No, no. I don't wanna... - Are you sure?

- Excuse me, excuse me, Trevor. - Yeah?

For the flashback, which one?

- Neither. - Both.

- Um, so, tomorrow's a big day. - Yeah.

And I'm thinking for that scene, um...

Okay, hold on a second, Trevor. I've got to ask you something.

- Alright. - Tell me.

Talk to me. I'm here.

That girl today from the audition.

- The wild, muddy mess. - Pig Girl?

Don't... please don't call her that.

No, no, no! I don't call her that. That's what they call her.

They call her "Pig Girl." I would never call her that.

Look, listen, um..

Do you think we can find out who she is?

- You think we should sue her? - No.

No, I, look, I-I-I just can't get her out of my head.

Why? You spent, like, 20 seconds with her.

Okay, and it was the first real 20 seconds I've had

since I started this business.

Aw, come on, man.

You little sucker, come on.

Okay, Trev, look, I-I-I don't mean it like that. Alright?

What I mean i-is this..

...all of this nonsense

alright, it does, it doesn't speak to me.

That beautiful girl back there with the pig, she spoke to me.

Okay, Jackson.

Listen, you want to go frolic in a pigsty..

...I want that for you.

I think it's important, okay?

But right now we gotta focus. It's a lot of pressure.

This is a big movie and we're going to do this

because we're a team, right?

We're going to finish this movie

and then you and I are gonna dive into my next movie.

And then, you are going to be an A-list star

and you can pick any chick you want.

- Mm. - Right? You understand?

Tomorrow's a big day.

Let's get some rest. Boom!

- You're the man. - You got it, Trev.

'You are the man.'

'Today was a really bad day, dad.'

They all called me "Pig Girl."

Yeah.

This was my only chance.

It's never gonna happen, is it?

And you!

You owe me big-time, Jon Ham.

You do.

You're lucky they didn't ban us from auditioning

after your little stunt. Ow!

You have any idea what a day like that can cost production?

100k, easy.

Okay, well, they don't even know that we're related, Kale.

Okay, let's keep it that way.

- Stop! - Hold still.

If anyone finds out you're Pig Girl

you'll ruin it for all of us.

Wow.

Is that what you're wearing?

I don't take fashion advice

from people who are covered in pig poop.

- Burn. - You like that?

Okay, don't wait up for us.

I'm sure we'll be invited to the after-party.

Oh, there's no after-party.

There's always an after-party.

That's after you finish the job.

- 'Then, there's a pre-party.' - 'There-there's no party.'

I don't know what to say.

There's something about it that I just...

- I'll be back. - This is pretty cool.

No, maybe you're right, maybe it's awful.

Yeah.

Great job, Terry and Tina.

Loved that. Oh, and loved those little congas and the washboard.

We're gonna get to you guys very soon, okay?

- I'm their manager. - Oh, good to know.

Yay! Yay!

It is. I know, it is. It is totally unfair.

It is the one thing that I've ever wanted

in my entire life and it is never going to happen.

How? How am I supposed to..

Exactly. Thank you, Jon Ham.

He gets it, you guys.

I mean, the director literally said to me

that he never wants to see my face again.

So..

I don't know what you guys want me to do about that.

Well, giddyup.

Okay, next group, please.

You have the track? Okay!

Oh, it's, great, okay, action.

- Who's this? - The sisters?

- Sisters? - Hello.

- 'Hello.' - Hi.

'Hi, how are you?'

- Hi. - Hi.

'Any-any time you're ready.'

Dolls, let's-let's see-see what you got.

Hoo-wee!

It sure is a hot one today.

Hoo-wee! It sure is a hot one today!

- That's what I just said. - I know.

- But I can't remember my lines. - Soffy..

'What do I say? I forgot my lines.'

Uh, you know what, ladies, just

you can just cut right to the song.

- Okay! - 'No pressure.'

Okay!

I can.. Okay.

We got this, yes.

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

♪ We're sisters we're sisters ♪

♪ We're gorgeous ♪ ♪ And great kissers ♪

♪ So lucky to be sisters ♪

♪ With you ♪ ♪ With me? ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ We're sisters we're sisters ♪

♪ We're kind and never bitter ♪

♪ So lucky to be sisters ♪

♪ With you ♪ ♪ With me? ♪

♪ With you ♪♪

- Sorry. - It's okay.

Okay, and cut!

Thank you so much. Very good, very good. Thank you.

Okay!

- Hire the girl. - What?

But she can't sing or dance or act.

No, she doesn't need to.

- Thanks! - Uh, okay. Uh, anyone else?

'Uh, you, uh, you got room for one more?'

Howdy, ladies.

Why don't you hop up on stage

and-and show us what you got, partner?

Yes, sir, yes, sir.

Excuse-excuse me, ladies. Sorry about that.

He's cute, right?

Any time you're ready.

Clouds as mean as you've ever seen.

Yeah.

Ain't a bird that knows your tune.

Then there's a little voice inside you

that keeps on saying..

"Kid..

don't sell your dreams so soon."

That's the theme song from the Fuller House?

Sshhh! Shush!

'Everywhere you look..'

everywhere that you go..

there's a heart..

...there is a heart..

...a hand to hold onto.

'Everywhere you look..'

everywhere you go, there is a face..

...of somebody who needs you.

Everywhere you look.

Yeah.

What? Sorry.

That, that's it. That, that's all I got for the monologue.

- So.. - That's "Fuller House."

That was, ah, that was surprisingly good.

Real nice work, man.

That was my favorite show growing up.

What's your name, kid?

Huh. Fin... Fin..

Uh, last name, Finn.

First name, uh..

...Huckleberry?

Yeah.

You know, my-my parents were

real Mark Twain fans, you know? So..

- Oh.. - Alright.

You know. Yeah, yeah.

But, um..

...you all can call me "Huck."

- Okay. - Huck.

So, the following people have been chosen

Caletta Rose..

Great. Great, great, great.

And, uh, Saffron Tremaine..

And Huck Finn. Great.

Oops, sorry, folks. Hold tight, just a second.

Yes?

What?

How?

- I can't wait.. - Ahh! A-ahem!

To work you.

You mean, work with me.

Whatever.

We lost the farm house.

What do you mean we lost the farm house?

- Where did it go? - It collapsed.

I just saw it yesterday, Bernie.

Well, it's gone today.

We shoot the farm house in two days!

How are we going to find another location?

We're going to figure something out.

Ah-ah-ah! If-if I may? Hi.

Um, just happened to overhear.

She's a patron of the arts.

Yes, yes and I want to proposition you.

- She has a proposition for you. - Yes.

I just happen to be the owner of a historical country farm house.

True.

And we have a barn, and a chicken coop, chickens, goats

filing cabinets, hay, lots of hay..

Big property. It's a big property.

The kind that you would need for a production of this size.

Brass tacks, boys.

How much is it going to cost me

to have you shoot your movie at my place?

No, no, she's kidding, she's kidding.

They pay us, not the other way around.

Why don't we just say that you give us, uh..

I don't know, 125 percent of what you were going to pay

the house that you lost, throw in some... catered lunches

hot, then you have yourself a deal.

Sure.

Guys!

They're here.

Saffron?

Kale?

- Morning. - Oh, have a seat, have a seat.

You know, I actually saw your last movie.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

- Okay. - Seen the PR.

That you're doing for this one here.

It's my house, actually.

Oh. You got a real nice piece of land.

- Say, how many horses do you.. - I don't know.

I figure I should be managing you.

- How's that? - Well, do you have a manager?

- I do not. - You do now.

What type of managing do you do?

Ever heard of Wanda's Waffle and Sushi House?

I can't say I've had the pleasure.

You will. Listen, are you a meat guy?

You could be the face of Jon Ham Bacon.

It's kind of a side project I'm working on.

Look, I, um, I don't think I really need a manager.

Not a meat guy? Surprising.

Uh, how about tractors?

I'm working on a deal with a local company here.

Uh, thank you, but no.

No. Okay moving on, moving on.

I got you, though. I got you with this one?

- Hmm? - Money.

Everybody likes money, right? I'm in with the banks.

"Need a loan, call Jackson Stone."

This is all from my head, man. I'm just winging it.

- I'm winging it, man. - Wow.

- Apologies, apologies. - Okay, yup.

You're a little all over the place, ain't ya?

You need an animal like me in your corner, Jackson.

Hmm.

Let's do this.

Wish me luck, Jon Ham. Love you.

Okay, Jackson,

So, you just shot all these guys.

Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.

- And now you're out of ammo. - Hmm.

Right? Okay.

And from behind you comes this guy.

- Yeah. Hey, buddy. - Kenny.

Okay. A one-on-one. So, uh, Kenny?

You just, you just grab him.

Okay. How do you want me to approach it?

I could do, like, a step over

toe-hold sleeper, or-or I could do a figure-four arm lock.

Yeah, that-that's great. You just go for him.

Just... just come for me, Kenny.

That's hot, that's hot, that's hot, that's hot.

- No, uh, um.. - Hi!

I'm just not really comfortable winging it.

Okay.

Fine.

Huck!

Huck, hey. Hello?

Oh. Ahem.

Yeah, uh, I'm so, so sorry, folks.

Huck. Huck is here. Yeah.

- Hi. Hi. - Hi.

Uh, you ever do any stunts?

Oh, yeah.

Two, two years of gymnastics, so.

That's, that's good. Uh, go for him.

Uh, he's not, he's not in the union...

No, that's fine. Thanks, Kenny.

Just go. Just go for him.

Uh-uh, okay.

- Yeah. Right now? - Yeah.

- Alright. - From back there.

Yeah.

- Ready? - Yes, I am.

Ready.

- Yeah. - That's perfect.

- That's great, that's great. - Alright.

Oh, well, i-it's okay. You see, I could do that!

I just thought you wanted something..

- Mm-hmm. - Good.

Actually, I'm thinking, Kenny, maybe you, uh

might want to have a break there.

- Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. - Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It's probably tired from all that work. Thanks, buddy.

Uh, thank you, you know, for going easy on me.

Ah, well, you know, I got little cousins

we used to play fight all the time.

That's all this is, you know?

- Yeah. - Anyhow, you're a lightweight.

What do you weigh? About 130-135?

123, thank..

Thank you very much.

- That was a joke. - I gotcha.

You were so good.

'Let's shoot this.'

And remember, we're going to do this in a one-er.

Which means we're going to shoot the whole scene in one shot.

Okay? Everyone, remember here, timing is everything.

So, if even one piece of the puzzle is off

the whole thing falls apart.

So that's, so, what is

what is that? Is that a phone?

- Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! - Phones off! Please!

- Come on, guys. - Sorry, guys. Sorry.

- That's alright. We get it. - All good.

So, Jackson, I want you to enter from over there, okay?

And, Huck, uh, you can go around the corner

and wait for your cue, okay? Now, listen, don't miss this.

If you miss it, you're going to screw up the whole take

and then I'll have to beat the crap out of you.

I'm joking, I'm joking.

But I will fire you.

So there's that, you could get fired.

- That's not a joke. - No, that one's not joking.

- Yes. - Okay, good. Good luck.

See you on the other side. Here we go.

Let's try one.

Okay, lock it up! Roll sound!

Oh, my gosh.

- 'And action.' - Hi. Okay.

I know I look very, very strange.

I'm going to have to do this real quick.

Good girl. Good girl.

'Finley!'

What?

No, no, no, no, no. No.

Alright.

'Finley!'

Yes.

Where are you? Where have you been?

You told me to milk the cow, so I'm milking the cow.

Is that what you're doing?

- Yeah. - That is disgusting.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know what? It only gets

really worse from here, so you should probably

just go, like, right now. Like, right now!

- You should go. - Fine. I'm leaving.

There's got to be a better way to get the milk out.

'Hi!'

- Hi. - How's the filming going?

Filming's going well. We're actually rolling right now.

Oh, rolling? Okay, shh, she, shh.

- Rolling! Rolling. - Yeah.

I owe you. Okay.

Jackson! Jackson. Your cue, please.

Now, please.

Oh!

Seriously?

Alright. You wanna play. Let's play.

Come on, come on. Who's a good boy?

Are you a good boy? Come on. Come on.

Let go. Let go! Thank you.

Hope that was worth getting shot for.

Cut! Yes!

- Huck? - 'Yes!'

Come on up.

- Oh, boys. - Thank you, Jackson.

You're a star, man. You are a star.

- Thanks, Trev. - Any time!

Huck, you nailed that.

You nailed that timing. That's what I'm talking about.

- Really? - That round-the-corner wave.

You didn't miss it. You nailed it.

- Okay, let's move on. - Okay.

- 'And we're moving on.' - 'I'm thinking drone.'

Oh!

Jacket.

Ah! Inside out.

Oh.

Hey, if you need help with your pants later, you let me know.

Oh, my god! What are you.. What is your..

You know, I really appreciate that offer.

Good lookin'.

Any time.

- Yeah, you're good. - Alright. Thank you.

Hey, uh, Huck.

Ahem. Jackson.

Really, uh, really nice work today.

Man, you almost made me bust up. I swear.

Well, I'm..

Thank you, you know, so much. I.. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm sorta freaking out that Trevor let me do

that scene with you.

Listen, listen. He let you do it because you're good.

Alright, you're not afraid to just go for it.

That takes balls.

Yeah, I-I got, I got those.

So, um...

what do you do for fun around here?

Oh, ah..

There's a really nice lake, actually. You can go fishing.

Hmm.

I-I'm sorry. You, um, you probably meant for a night life.

Yeah, I'm looking for a hot after-hours club.

Nah, I'm kidding!

Here, sit.

- Thanks. - No problem.

That lake sounds real nice.

Man..

You must just wake up and pinch yourself every single day.

Now how's that?

I-I mean, you-you get to travel the world, you know, for free.

You live the dream of every single actor.

You're playing all these great parts

working with the best directors.

- It's.. - Hmm.

Nah, look the truth is..

...I'd give all this up

to be back at my uncle's ranch.

You know, riding my horse

taking care of the land.

Yeah. That sounds real nice.

Hey, Jackson, I'm sorry, I, I gotta ask, um..

How did you get here?

Ah, well, ah..

It was like in the movies.

A Hollywood producer and his wife showed up

and discovered me.

Now I got two more movies lined up after this one, and..

you know, all I want to do is get back on the ranch, so..

But, what are you gonna do, right?

What are you gonna do?

'Alright, we are back people.'

Well, looks like we're back.

Oh..

Hey, uh, hey, Huck?

Yeah?

I like talking with you.

Yeah, me-me too, Jackson.

- I'll see you out there. - Alright.

♪ This was a dream for all my life ♪

♪ I'm starting to believe that it's finally my time ♪

♪ My heart is bursting at the seams ♪

♪ Right here right now is where I'm meant to be ♪

♪ And I've found something more ♪

♪ And though I love my country home ♪

♪ I feel alive for the first time ♪

♪ I'm glad that I ♪

♪ Had the courage to spread my wings and fly ♪

♪ Somehow some way ♪

♪ I know today's the day ♪

♪ That's been waiting for me ♪

♪ I feel the light of the morning ♪

♪ And now ♪

♪ It seems ♪

♪ Against the odds my dreams ♪

♪ Were waiting for me ♪

♪ It's time to write my own story ♪

♪ My own story ♪♪

'Okay, everybody, listen up!'

Day after tomorrow, we shoot the big finale scene.

It is also our last day of shoot.

So, we've got a huge day today.

'But you all have a day off tomorrow.'

Yeah, I hear ya.

So, whaddya got goin' for your day off?

Day off? I, um..

I haven't really had one of those in a real long time.

Hmm. Nah, look, look, look

you gotta take advantage of 'em.

Alright? These long days on set will catch up with you.

'Please do not play with your prop guns.'

'Well, I'm going to sleep in tomorrow'

and then I'm going to check out this town.

I like it here.

'Let's do this!'

'Let's get this show on the road!'

'Okay, full out on this rehearsal here.'

'Nice, with the legs.'

Then we cut to Saffron. She sexy-walks in.

We'll fix that later.

Then steady-cam onto the piano

pushing to the saloon girls. Slide up the leg.

And now we're doing a Busby Berkeley.

- Busby Berkeley. - Bugsy..

B-Busby Berkeley.

Then the piano flies out.. Whoosh! Good!

Then we whip-pan right to these guys.

Give me that wheel kick.

'Then we clap it. Laser focus.'

'Now here comes Kenny.'

'Saffron sees him.'

'She's going to do some sexy-time with the hands.'

'This is weird. Now they kiss. Ah!'

'Now Kenny's got the lasso finale. Okay?' The lasso..'

'Kenny, you've got to have that lasso spinning, Kenny.'

You gotta.. Oh, cut!

'That was close, though.'

Kenny, it-it was a mess, man.

No, no, no, no, no, I got, I got it, I got it.

I just have to..

...make the knot tighter.

Uh, a-actually, all you gotta do is loosen the hondu.

Okay, I think..

I think I know a little bit more about stunt-roping

than this guy. Right, Mr. Gymnastics?

Hey, Kenny.

Uh, Huck's right. You gotta..

You gotta loosen the hondu.

Okay. Huck, could.. Huck.

Could you come down here and please

just do this for us, please?

Uh, yeah, sure.

I'm just..

Uh, I'm just going to take it for a second.

Kenny?

Let go of the rope, Kenny.

Like, letting go.

And you're buh-bying.

'Thank you. Strong work, Kenny.'

If you could just step on back.

So, whaddya-whaddya want from him?

Whaddya got?

Well, uh..

Ahem.

Usually, I like to start off

with a little bit of a Texas Foot Stomp.

And then, uh, when I'm done with that

I usually like to kick it off

with a little bit of a Round The World.

'Oh, yeah. I love that, yeah.'

'Oh, yeah!'

And then I usually like to finish things off

by going back into The Wedding Ring.

He's like that girl from the audition.

That girl wishes she could do that.

Huck, buddy, that was insane.

Y-you keep surprising me. I'm telling you.

You'd be surprised how surprising I could be.

Kenny, you switch with Huck.

Uh, and, Huck, let's start with the kiss.

What? What?

Okay, people, we're starting with the kiss.

Yeah, big smooch. Let's do it.

Right, right. We're gonna..

Oh! Ahem! Hello.

Well, yeah. We're gonna..

What if, what if.. Hear me out.

What if we do the kiss, you know

after rehearsal, you know

once we're saving it, you know

for-for when the cameras are-are rolling.

- You know? - That's funny. Okay, let's go.

Anytime.

I just, I-I-I I don't really know if..

He's probably never kissed a girl before.

What? No!

No, Kenny.

I have kissed..

...tons of, of, of girls

ladies before.

Uh, like, so many.

So, so, so many. Uh..

...including my-my cousin..

Okay..

Look, look, um, I get it.

I get it, alright? It's weird to just

jump in and kiss a total stranger.

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That's-that's-that's exactly what I'm saying.

That-that is the only reason that this is..

That this is

well, weird.

'Well-well, I'd say'

you just do a cheat kiss.

You don't even gotta touch.

A cheat kiss? That-that's amazing.

Yeah, let's do, let's do a cheat kiss.

That's a great idea. Cheat kiss.

That-that sounds like, uh.. we should do it.

- I mean, Trevor... - No, no, no.

Guys, I can't have any of that

fake crap on my set.

I need authenticity.

I have to have the real deal.

And here I am. Kiss me, Huck.

And you can, like, really go for it.

Like, hey, totally go for it.

Right, right.

All the, all the things you need to do.

- Yeah. - I'm here for it.

Alright, yeah.

Well, I'm, uh..

Anytime.

I'm gonna go for it right now.

I'm gonna.. Kenny, your rope.

There you go, and..

Trevor, I'm just gonna go over there and, you know

get myself loose so I can give it.

I'm gonna give it to you, so I'll be right..

Be right.. Oh my God!

What am I doing freaking out?

I can't do this. I just..

This is so.. You're fine, you're fine.

You're just gonna go in there and you know..

Go in there and just gonna Huck it out. Yeah, let's Huck it.

I'll be there in two seconds, everybody.

Just give me, give me one second.

Just go in there, you know, and just..

Okay. Oh, my God!

Huck, just grab her and kiss her.

Right.

Okay. Okay.

Anytime now.

Oh, God..

That was so..

I loved that.

Yeah, that was weirdly hot

yet not hot.

- So we're good? - 'Yeah.'

Let's do one again for the camera

so they can see it.

Yeah!

- One more time? - Anytime.

She's here.

Come in!

Oh, hello.

So, this is the main house.

I know it very well.

I used to come here all the time for coffee

and just to chat before..

...you moved in.

♪ Welcome to the show ♪

♪ One two three four ♪

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Well, howdy, folks.

Hey, Billy!

Now, sometimes, when you're on the run

all you want is to slow it down.

A little R and R.

The only crime I see here is no cutie around my arm.

So criminal!

Now, what's a guy got to do for a little attention

around here, huh? What, rob somebody?

- He's only kidding! - Nah.

The only thing I'm here to steal tonight

is your heart.

Ain't you just the prettiest little thing?

♪ Jump on up my horse little darling ♪

Well, giddyup! We ain't got all day.

♪ Come take a ride with me ♪

Come on, girl, saddle up. Come on!

♪ Jump on up my horse little darling ♪

You know I can give you everything.

♪ Come take a ride with me ♪

♪ Come take a ride with me ♪

♪ Come take a ride with me ♪♪

Oh, oh! Oh!

- 'Cut! Cut it, cut it, cut it!' - 'Cut! Cut!'

Hey, Jackson, Jackson!

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm good.

- 'Are you sure?' - 'Yeah, yeah.'

Here. You lost your hat.

'Let's go get First Aid.'

- There you go. - Thank you.

I was so worried, I..

Uh..

Well, uh..

You good? Yeah, you're-you're good, pal. Right?

Yeah, he's good, everybody.

He's, uh, he's real good, folks.

Just a big boy over here. Let me check him.

Up, yeah. Yeah, ooh! Oh!

He's got it. There we go. Yeah. Alright.

- Are you okay, buddy? - 'We're just gonna..'

'You know, I'm thinking, you know what?'

Uh, let's just, let's just kinda regroup.

Let's take ten. Let's take a break.

'No, no, no, I-I feel good.'

'I just wanna check him out'

'make sure everything's alright.'

Alright, I'm just gonna go. Excuse me.

My god, what was that?

"Jackson, I was so worried about you."

No, you weren't worried. You were..

No, no, no, no, no.

You are not selling my house!

We're not much of a coffee family.

Valerian! You can't do this!

- Do what, Huck? - Do, uh..

This, you know? All-all of this.

I mean, this-this house is amazing.

It amazes me that you have decorated this all by yourself.

Aw, thank you, Huck.

I did dabble a little

in Interior Design.

Really, really, really nice.

Man, if this house, you know, with all the..

Well, let's just say, if I had this house

I would never sell it.

I would never, ever, ever, ever sell it.

Have we met before, Huck?

Yeah. You look familiar to me, too.

And where's that-that accent of yours from?

Oh, uh..

You know, uh, I-I got a real, real quick break

so I was just gonna pop on in here

use the restroom, if that's alright.

Uh, no. Ew.

Um, there's portable toilets outside.

Alright. Yeah, yeah. I'll go use those.

Got a real nice zing, though, by the way

so it would have been..

Bye-bye.

Alright.

It's a lovely home, ain't it?

Oh, it sure is.

'So, as I was saying'

this property has been in the Tremaine family

for over a century.

It's practically a landmark.

Oh, dump it. The sooner the better.

'H-h-h-hold on, hold on.'

If we can get landmark status

would that add value to the house?

Well, I don't know, but it would guarantee

that the property would be preserved.

Oh, pfft!

They can turn it into a Chuck E Cheese for all I care.

'Yeah, she-she's right.'

Just get us some offers as soon as possible, okay?

It breaks my heart to think

about selling this property.

'I always imagined'

that this house would stay

in the family forever

Finley having little babies here.

The thought! Um..

The thought is so lovely.

But, you know, teenagers these days

they just want to get out and see the world.

'Ugh..'

Okay! New plan. Change. Get back in there.

I'm just going to go.. I'm just going to change.

Okay.

Ahem. Hello, sir. How ya doin'?

Just dropping this bag off to one of the ladies, you know.

Alright. Okay..

I'm so sorry! So, so, so sorry, Miss!

My God! Okay..

Well, uh, I'm, uh, let you two be.

I see it's very occupied in there.

I can hold it.

God, that's disgusting. Oh.

'They cannot sell this house.'

Excuse me. Anybody in here?

No?

Oh, my God.

Sell the house! They can't sell the house.

I mean, she's done some crazy things before

but this is just..

- Okay.. - 'Huck?'

Are you kidding me?

'Huck?'

Huck?

I can tell you're in here.

Oh.

Excuse me, young man.

Now, unless you are here for a fitting

and I don't believe that you are

then I highly suggest that you get on your way

before I have to call security and have them escort you out.

Excuse me, have you seen a man around here somewhere?

The only man that I see

is a disrespectful one standing right in front of me.

'Does anyone have a 20 on Huck?'

That means now! Young man, go. Shoo!

Get out of my trailer. Shoo!

It's my property. This is my property!

- This is my property. - Shoo!

'Where's Huck? Does anyone have a 20 on Huck?'

'Please, people, help me here!'

'Really?'

Yee-haw!

How is my favorite client today?

- I'm not your client, Kale. - No. Not yet.

But if you take a little lookie.

Right?

I mean, it-it-it is rough

but I think you'll see where I'm going with it.

- I see something. - Mm-hmm, yeah.

Okay, listen, um..

- Hey, Kale? - Yeah, buddy?

Who is that girl over there?

'Oh, God, why?'

Well, I think that's the girl from the audition, no?

Oh, yes. Yeah.

Yeah. That's Pig Girl.

Just a muddy little nobody.

Tragic, really.

Listen, I-I-I think I hear them calling for me.

Alright? You hold onto this. I-I love the idea.

Wonderful work. I'll catch up with you later.

I was just hoping maybe you'd take a look

at this contract that I drew up.

'Hey, hey, hey, hold on now.'

Hold on to this water for me, too, bud.

Thanks. I'll be right with you.

Well, I'll hold that. I'll be right here.

And she rides, too.

You want me? Come and get me.

- Hold on. - 'Come on, boy.'

Let's go. Come on, boy.

Let's go. Come on.

Come on, let's go. Come on. Hey.

Come on. Hyah! Hyah!

Hyah! Come on.

Come on, boy.

Hey, hey, hold up!

It's okay, it's okay, it's alright.

Who are you?

I think we might have a little bit of a problem

with Jackson and Finley.

The only problem we have

is that you haven't managed to sign him yet.

God, mom, that is so unfair.

He's impossible to get to.

He's either on set working or hanging out with Huck.

I'm starting to honestly think that those two might be..

...you know, which would be very cute.

Um, that is totally ridiculous.

I happen to know Huck is into girls

because when he kissed me, it was so..

Right. There's also something fishy going on

between Finley and Huck.

Okay.

Huck would never be interested in Finley!

I didn't say Huck was interested in Finley

I said Jackson was.

Oh! Oh..

I don't think we need to worry

about the Pig Girl.

Okay, listen, I can only hear one conversation at a time.

Does anyone have eyes on Jackson and Huck?

Alright.

There we go, there we go.

It's okay. Oh! Ow!

Come on. Come on. Attaboy.

Ah, she got away from us this time.

That's alright. We'll get her next time.

You're a good horse.

You're a good boy, alright?

You're alright. You just shied away from that jump today.

It's okay.

'I can teach you.'

'You know, I had a gelding just like you back home.'

How about a treat?

Let's get you a treat.

Yeah, these will do.

What do you say, hmm?

Yeah. There you go.

I can do almost everything, but I can't control the weather

so just get me a rain-cover set ASAP.

- Bernie! - Oh!

Okay, I've got Huck.

I still need a 20 on Jackson. Trevor's been looking for you.

Please don't wander off like that again, okay?

Yeah, I won't. I am so sorry about that. Sorry.

- Go talk to him. - Oh, everything, though..

- Everything is great. - Okay.

- Jackson. - Hey, where ya been?

Where have you been?

I've just been checking out the property.

Mm, yeah, it's a..

...real nice piece of land.

Beautiful, you could say, yeah.

Yeah, real beautiful.

I'd like to find me a place like this some day.

That would be real nice, real nice.

Jackson? Huck?

- Mm? - Let's huddle up.

I heard "Huddle up." That's me, right?

You guys need me for this one?

No, Kenny, we're fine.

- Yeah, let's go. - Alright.

Alright.

Okay.

Ah-ah-ah!

The chemistry between you two on camera..

...is-is-is magical.

It's weird.

So, I'm going to take a chance on you, Huck.

I'm giving you the part that I was going to give Kenny.

So..

...this is for the big finale scene.

Take it.

Now, we have a company day off tomorrow

so you go home, you work hard, you memorize those lines

and don't be late again.

- No! - Alright.

No, no, sir, I-I won't.

I promise. This is everything to me.

Well, well, you can thank your pal, Jackson, here

because it was his idea.

There it is. Good luck!

Bernie, shut it down.

- 'Okay, we are moving on.' - See you, Trev.

Ahem.

- Jackson, uh.. - What's up?

Thank you.

I don't even know what to say.

No thanks needed.

Ah, look, I-I owe you.

Look, you saved me from having to do the scene with Kenny.

Alright?

Uh, I-I really shouldn't laugh at that

because I really feel bad for the poor guy, you know?

Right.

Uh..

Huck, y-y-your..

your-your mustache is a little askew.

Yeah.

Oh, um..

You know, Huck, I, uh

I figured as much.

You did?

Yeah.

You can't grow facial hair.

So what?

Yeah, yeah. Uh..

I-I can't grow facial hair. I..

Oh, it feels good to get that off my chest, you know that?

- You got that. - Alright.

It's 'cause I got such a, such a babyface.

You know what I mean? To get the part

I had to, had to look the part

but, you know, you got me.

Well, look, you're lucky.

I'll tell you what, I feel like I'm shaving this every day

morning, noon and night, you know what I'm saying?

- One day. - Right, right.

Well, I'll tell you what, look

your secret's safe with me. Okay?

Alright. That's good news, yeah.

I'll catch you later.

- Thank you. - See you, bud.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

The best part is that even though

the lighting was really bad the selfie was still really good

and I just felt like, I don't know...

I, I am, I was gonna go fishing tomorrow

since, you know, it's my day off. Sorry.

You don't have a day off.

I meant your day off.

- Of filming, you know? - Oh.

I'll make breakfast first.

- I want French Toast. - Okay.

Fine, whatever. Just stop talking.

Okay.

Saffron, if the director

pegged you as "Talent"

why hasn't he given you a bigger part?

Mm!

You don't know anything, mom.

This is how the film business works.

Oh, I know how monkey business works.

What?

Boys like Jackson are only after one thing.

That is not true!

What is not true?

How would you even know?

Yes, Finley. How would you?

Because I, um..

I overheard Jackson and Huck talking

when they were by the barn

and they said the director thinks

Saffron is really talented

and he wants to make her part bigger.

I knew it.

Yeah, I don't buy it.

I mean, no offense, but we've all seen you act.

Don't be jelly.

Kale, she's right.

It's not about how you play the game

it's about whether or not you win.

Potato potato.

You do know you have to say them differently

for that phrase to work, right?

Do you mind if I join you?

I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were..

Um..

Do you know, the, uh, the-the-the fish

they just they're-they're really not biting over here at all.

I think if you, you know, go up the lake a little bit

like way down, it would be better.

Yeah, I think I'll, uh, take my chances.

Great.

Um..

Okay, well, um..

have a, have a good day.

- You leaving already? - Yeah, yeah.

- Is it something I said? - No. No, no.

Uh, no, no you, uh, you are..

..fine. I, um..

Good luck, you know, with, uh, everything.

Come on, now, please don't go.

I-I have to. You know, I forgot my bait.

You mean this bait?

Yup.

Yup, that, um..

That'll be the one. If you could just, you know..

- Just right. Yeah. - Thank you.

Now you're probably wishing you had that horse

right about now, huh?

And you're probably thinking to yourself

"Can I outrun him?"

I don't think so.

Look..

I know it's you.

- It isn't me. - Yeah, it is.

- No, it isn't... - Yes, it is.

- No, it isn't! - Yes, it is.

Fine.

Yes, it's me.

I'm so embarrassed right now.

Embarrassed?

For what?

Sorry, do you not remember me?

I'm the girl that fell flat on her face

when she was trying to wrangle her pig.

And I thought that was some mighty fine pig wrangling.

Okay. I wasn't there to wrangle a pig.

I was there to get a part in your movie.

Well, look.

You're-you're going to get another shot.

Yeah, a plain girl from Dreary, Idaho

isn't getting another chance.

Man..

Look at me. Go on.

There is nothing plain about you.

Now, will you come sit and fish with me?

I was here first, so.

Yeah, keep staring at me, I'll sell you both.

Finley!

Fin-ley! Anyone home?

No.

Sorry.

Oh!

Fantastic.

Disgusting. Absolutely dis..

You.

Shouldn't you be, like, a sandwich

or something by now?

Let's get something straight, Jon Ham, I don't like you

I don't like your stupid little face..

Okay, calm down.

Bad pig. Bad pig! Bad pig!

Get away from me, Fatty! Get away!

Hey, hey, hey, easy. Easy.

Oh!

What are you smiling about?

You just remind me of someone.

Mm. A girl back home?

No, no. My friend, Huck, actually.

Oh!

Oh, that's, um

that's-that's weird.

Yeah, it's, uh..

You know, uh, I don't mean

that I think you look like a boy.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I did not think

that you were saying that, no.

- You are a boy, right? - I am.

- Yeah. I'm a girl! - You're a girl!

Hold on, you've got a piece of grass in your hair.

Oh, sorry. Got it?

Yeah.

That was, uh..

- That was, um.. - Weird.

That was weird.

But thanks.

Seriously? Where would Finley keep..

Oh.

Stupid little trusting Pig Girl.

Oh, bee! Bee!

What is your problem?

So..

- My-my friend. - Mm? Huck?

- Huck. - Huck.

Yeah, no, he's, um..

- He's amazing. - Oh.

Really? He's, like, a, like a good guy?

Oh, yeah. No, he's a great guy. I meant, he's..

...he's an amazing actor.

I'm-I'm sorry. He's, like, an amazing actor?

Hmm.

You-you think that-that he's..

...that he's that amazing?

Like, he could, he could go far or something

like in show business? That, is, like..

That is like, this sounds so cool.

Like, from you, especially..

- You know, from.. - Right, right.

That's really great for-for him, you know?

Yeah, I'll, uh..

I'll let him know how happy you are for him.

Yeah. Yeah, please do, you know.

Oh, God! You devil pig!

Oh, God!

Oh, God..

Disgusting.

Oh, dear.

You know, this is one of the best days

I've had in a long while.

Yeah.

Me too.

And, look, I don't know about you

but, uh, I think I need another shot

at that horse race.

Oh.

I just don't think you could keep up.

You're funny..

...and you're kinda cute.

Stop.

You know..

...this business..

...it's just filled with people pretending

to be somethin' that they ain't.

But you..

...you're real.

Real.

Jackson..

I, um..

I have to tell you something.

Um..

I'm so sorry.

No worries.

Um..

Sorry. I'm..

Um..

Is everything okay?

I have to go.

- What is it? - I am so sorry.

Wait!

I don't even know your name!

'Where have you been?'

Okay, um..

Look, I can, uh, I can, I can explain.

Finley..

...are you and Huck, like..

What?

Saffron, no.

Finley..

...why don't you explain to them?

Or should I say..

"...Huck"?

Why are we calling her "Huck"?

Did she change her name?

How am I related to you people?

Okay, um..

Look, I, uh, I..

I messed up.

'Um, Valerian, I, um..'

I really wanted to be in this movie, right and..

...the only way that I could do that

was to, uh..

...disguise myself..

...as a boy.

Um, as-as Huck.

Wait!

Finley, you're Huck?

Ew!

Oh!

That's why Huck didn't ask me out after our kiss.

- Saffron. - 'Yeah?'

There is no Huck.

Yeah, I get that, Kale.

'Do you?'

Valerian, I'm..

I get it if you're mad. I didn't...

Finley, give me your phone.

- What? - Saffron, take Finley's phone.

Yeah, I..

I need that for..

Ew.

'I am not stupid.'

You have been laughing at me all this time.

- No, no, no, no. Valerian, I... - Look, shut up!

This is what's going to happen.

You are going to stay..

...in the barn tonight..

...and think about all the harm

you have done to this family.

And tomorrow, we'll tell Louise

to take the first offer she gets.

We are finally getting out of this hell hole.

- Valerian. - No, quiet!

You have lost all rights

to have a say in this.

Stupid little Pig Girl.

'Wait, who's gonna make me dinner?'

It's okay. Okay.

Dad.

Okay.

Okay..

You're kidding me.

Keys.

Has anyone seen Huck?

Okay, all departments

does anyone have a 20 on Huck?

'Negative at the camera trucks.'

Dammit!

Oh, where is he?

Hi!

Got it... got it.

'Anyone have eyes on Huck?'

Not in Wardrobe.

I think it needs to be tighter.

Hmm.

Okay, go to Circus

check inside his trailer.

- Who's over at Catering? - 'Uh, Cam.'

Yeah. Both of you, just check.

You realize this is your job

to know where he is at all times, right?

'Okay, Bernie.'

- Well? - Nothing.

- Well, try his cell. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Uh, Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!

I have an idea for you. Uh, It's a good one.

Have you heard of Jon Ham.. Excuse me.

- What? - Uh, hi. Jon Ham Bacon?

Well, we've been thinking about expanding.

Jackson's onboard. I'm his manager, by the way.

I'm his manager.

- Hi! - Hello.

Snack.

Hello!

Anyone? Hello?

It doesn't do a bird's-eye, the thing doesn't make sense

and that's what I'm saying..

Did you find him?

Went to voicemail.

- Go get Kenny. - Yeah.

I need, uh..

I'm going to need some sort of, um, sandwich.

I'm going to need a sandwich.

Agh!

You need me?

Yeah.

Yeah, I need you, Kenny.

Yes!

Oh..

You show up there.

You got some chocolate on there.

Let's get rid of that.

Morning, y'all..

- Morning. - What's going on?

Well, looks like we get to do our scene

together after all, buddy.

And how's that?

Where's Huck?

He didn't show.

We can't reach him.

So, we're going to go with Kenny.

Mm-hmm.

We gotta shoot.

I understand, Bernie.

Oh, this is your chance!

Really?

- Get over there. - Really?

Don't blow it again.

You're very hard on her.

- Hi! - Hi..

Howdy, howdy, howdy.

Oh. Ew.

Listen, now is really not the time.

Oh, but, um..

...I heard that you wanted to make my part bigger..

...and yes.

I'm sorry, what?

No, no, that's right, that's right.

You mentioned that. Uh, you guys discuss

that right now, alright? I'm gonna go..

You're not. Don't do this to me.

Jackson.

What?

Are you..

What is that?

Again, I want to say

thank you to all of the locals

who showed up today, ready to work

as Background Artists.

My mom would like to discuss the game plan

for selling the property.

Things have changed, and..

Uh, shh! I-I can't hear the nice lady.

We're just waiting on one more cast member.

Hey, Huck?

Huck, where you at?

Jon Ham!

Yes! Good boy, Jon Ham!

Good boy! Good boy! You got it, you got it!

Easy. Good boy, good boy, come on!

Thank you!

Jon Ham..

...youare my hero.

It's showtime.

- I got Jackson! - Okay, we got Jackson.

Okay, good. Let's do this, then.

Trevor, are we really shooting this?

Yeah, I'm sorry, buddy. We gotta.

- We gotta, we gotta. - Okay.

'Actors to first position, please.'

Yes!

And..

...action!

Everything you said was a lie.

It may've been a lie, Billy..

...but..

Uh, but, uh..

I am so sorry, I, I..

Can I get the line? Can we go back?

I forgot, I forgot the line.

- Going again! - 'Sorry.'

And..

...action!

Everything you said was a lie.

Oh..

It may have been a lie, Billy. but..

Oh!

Aah!

I think that's broken.

- That was close. - Ooh!

Don't touch him. He's fine.

Your, uh, your-your tooth.

Gone.

Is it noticeable?

- Let's go again. - Go.. Uh..

- He's missing a tooth. - I don't care.

We didn't establish teeth. Get him up!

Okay, let me go again.

- Up you go. - 'Up I go.'

Yup. Oh, Kenny's alright.

Coach, we're okay.

I-I got this. I'll just go again.

'Okay.'

I'm going to make you proud!

'Okay. Ooh, I feel good.'

- Okay, we should go. - Okay, let's go, then.

Here we go, and rolling.

Rolling!

Action.

Everything you said was a lie.

- We got this, we got this. - This isn't going to work.

It's going to work.

Ugh..

No.

'Should we cut?'

No, we're not going to cut.

Give him the line again, please.

- Really? - Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Okay. Uh..

Everything you said was a lie.

'It may have been a lie, Billy..'

It's all been a lie.

But I never meant to hurt you.

What's going on with his voice?

I should have told you

at the lake.

Lake? What lake? What lake?

Right, we shoulda..

We shoulda talked at the lake.

But I was too afraid to.

I was..

...too scared of..

...what might happen.

Is he taking off his clothes?

But I am sick

and tired..

...of being afraid.

You know our friend, Huck..

...he made me realize

that I could either stay invisible..

...or I could be remarkable.

So, if coming clean..

...means losing everything..

...then it just wasn't in the cards.

Who are you?

That's a good question.

Some people call me "Pig Girl."

My daddy, though, he called me "Princess."

All I know is that I have got one chance..

...and even if I end up with mud on my face

I am going to take it.

Jackson..

I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner.

Um..

This is a lot to take in.

Yeah, I know.

Can you forgive me?

I don't know.

And cut!

Yes!

'Okay, I don't know what that was.'

I don't know what that was, but I'm loving that.

I am.. Oh!

You..

...are extraordinary.

I thought you were a.. Um..

- But you're a, you're a... - 'Girl!'

- Yeah. - A badass girl.

'I knew it!'

I knew there was something weird about...

Shut up, Kenny.

I'm gonna put you in my next movie.

The one starring Jackson.

You're not putting her anywhere.

You can't stop me from going, Valerian.

Well, I guess if you want to say goodbye..

...to your childhood home.

And the first thing to go..

...will be that little pig.

Straight to the slaughterhouse.

I don't really think that you would do that.

Because I think that there is a heart

in there somewhere, Valerian.

- For crying out loud. Louise? - 'Yeah?'

Please.

- 'Louise?' - Yes?

We'll take the first offer you get.

Well, I'd have to get the owner's approval to do that.

I just gave it to you.

'Oh, well, after our meeting..'

I did some digging and it turns out

that Mr. Tremaine left the property to his daughter.

He left it to me?

Not you.

His real daughter.

So, you'd have to ask her.

Is that true, Louise?

It is.

So, you're saying..

You've got squat.

Ahh..

I want this more than anything.

You guys have no idea

but I, I can't leave my farm

my animals, my home...

Hold on now.

I might be able to help you out there.

- Hey, Trev? - 'Yeah?'

Come here, bud.

What's up?

Look, I got...

I got good news and I got bad news.

- Okay. - Bad news is..

...you're gonna have to find a new lead for your film.

Uh, excuse me?

The good news is...

Huck here is your star.

My name's Finley.

Now, that is a great name.

Think that really is.

Well, you know, it was written for a male.

- It-it's an action film. - Right.

But I'm thinking right now

that it would be so much better with a female.

Finley.

Geez.

- I'm making calls. - Okay.

And, Miss Finley

if it was okay by you..

Hm..

I could hang back

look after your farm.

Keep them horses in shape.

You know, since my step-family

won't be living here anymore..

I will need someone to look after Jon Ham.

Right. Hey, Kale?

Yeah, buddy. Yeah.

Listen, I won't be needing a manager anymore

but if you're interested

I will need someone to shovel Jon Ham's poop.

I see.

Alrighty then.

- I'm not picking up poop. - No..

- You're picking up poop. - I'm not picking up pig poop.

'You're supposed to fix this, Kale.'

You know, uh..

I could take off after you..

finish shooting your movie.

Hmm.

Yeah..

...or not.

Or not.

There is somethin' about you.

♪ Now I know I know I know yeah ♪

♪ Umm umm-umm ♪

♪ Once upon a time ♪

♪ It was never going right ♪

♪ But in the blink of an eye ♪

♪ It's then I got a sign ♪

♪ Everything fell right here into places ♪

♪ And found its way to me ♪

♪ I guess it was supposed to happen ♪

♪ Like it was meant to be ♪

♪ I got a feeling that I'm gonna remember ♪

♪ This song forever and ever ♪

♪ There's nothing like a sweet sweet sweet starlight ♪

♪ I'm feeling free free free ♪

♪ It's alright ♪

♪ Moving with the flow ♪

♪ Yeah this is my time ♪

♪ No matter where I go ♪

♪ It'll be alright ♪

♪ 'Cause the stars will always align ♪

♪ Tell me who did ever know ♪

♪ That I may live here ♪

♪ I was feeling so alone ♪

♪ The future was unclear ♪

♪ Yeah I used to think ♪

♪ That my story was written with an end ♪

♪ Now I know I have control ♪

♪ And I've got my pen in hand ♪

♪ I got a feeling that I'm gonna remember ♪

♪ This song forever and ever ♪

♪ There's nothing like ♪

♪ A sweet sweet sweet starlight ♪

♪ I'm feeling free free free ♪

♪ It's alright ♪

♪ Moving with the flow ♪

♪ Yeah this is my time ♪

♪ No matter where I go ♪

♪ It'll be alright ♪

♪ 'Cause the stars will always align ♪

♪ Now I know I know I know ♪

♪ Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh ♪

♪ Now I know I know I know ♪

♪ Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh ♪

♪ There's nothing like ♪

♪ A sweet sweet sweet starlight ♪

♪ I'm feeling free free free ♪

♪ It's alright ♪

♪ Moving with the flow ♪

♪ Yeah this is my time ♪

♪ No matter where I go ♪

♪ It'll be alright ♪

♪ 'Cause the stars will always align ♪

♪ Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh ♪

♪ Yeah I know I know ♪

♪ Ohhh ohh oh ho oh oh ♪

♪ Ohhh ohh oh ohhh oh oh ♪

♪ The stars will always align ♪♪

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull