All language subtitles for subtitles_20210624_025720

And and. Then as you running loose mother fucking show.

Way through the and was going on there are a little one.

Sitting by me.

Okay.

Yeah.

Because it was joined may have your parents but yeah like their work were getting bad.

You know that the cops around something good must be yeah.

But you need is like you're at work as to be alive.

Three right and for that was just once.

And i heard him flick flickers dick.

And then i heard.

The zingy you're married on i'm a dover and i get to save the added.

The the flame was a really high any anyone like snooty good.

He called me and said done.

You motherfucker you put something in my line.

No.

I didn't say yes.

He said yes you put lsd my wine because you want to fuck my wife.

Oh yeah the time he pulled this blade on the made a day at the polo lounge.

There was that.

The cops says you know what are you doing stop.

Angela i'm going to throw the of the window and the cop do his gun and said no you're not what they call me in a bar.

In the old days was a good duke.

See ultimate corrupt or find they seem across the street from me and he's unzip themselves nice taken as cargo.

And he's that waving a business disdaining there he's running up or down the street people screaming and of horrified and finally they gather around him call.

The police called covered the children's eyes call the blaze.

The creative act is done that goddamn machine right here.

That's where it down and talked a lot about his sexual prowess.

He referred to as penis fences purple onion.

Simon looking at me and on them quickly for were dumping my head to the money.

It was move forward you never see him.

With the first thing you learn.

I've to the cousin drunk drunken one.

Forgive me my so and i have your money.

Please something out correct.

Can't you get one over.

On what the fuck shit.

I feel like shown that beer right in your face.

Why.

I'll tell you why.

Our.

I'm cara my life time mike the big guys martin and i'm army hammer from all that shit.

I'm a harmonic at it.

How was i was gonna crash it.

I'm not pure air.

You know.

A young blonde with a time pussy came too late.

Cameras came to light.

Don't grant me like that it's true.

I came to weigh in on too strong.

The to really put a good shield our mailman.

I really have.

I've been toughened up at the right time and the right way.

They're still good to me.

Lawrence from getty up in san francisco invited to cascade to go to san francisco to read the city lights poets theater.

I'd never heard him read.

Actually.

It was very interesting we just met.

We started to develop a relationship and bang.

This thing happened so.

I said i'm going to travel.

Now have this is miniscule budget.

I decided to shoot in black and white.

City lights in the last year has started presenting american poets who.

I believe our major writers in this country and at the moment like what else is have you mean besides casket.

We go up and the plane is drinking scotch to got pretty drunk and a little silly and i was shooting a whole thing.

Br.

Br.

Br.

I wish.

I were more nervous.

You read matter when you're alone.

Really it's like you know.

Riders time.

A rise in san francisco for this reading it for get he's poets theater and my god.

It was like the second coming.

He walked into this big gymnasium and they were bleachers set up and you know.

They were like six seven hundred people.

There.

A right enough.

Part on a bomb.

Yeah a kid it.

Shaver italian why man you guys with us.

He was a little drunk and i think it is building himself up but i think it was a little scared.

Great shape.

Down here area.

Okay childhood.

The poetry readings he didn't los angeles where they'll be fifteen people.

Twenty people you know you get thirty people.

It was a crowd and here we walked into hundreds and hundreds and it was allowed rowdy audience.

Yeah.

I know you.

One more beer.

I'll take you all all way.

And at the same time it was a certain electricity in the air we didn't have to share the podium.

This is a because key event.

Bukovsky was fairly well known underground figure in los angeles at the time because he wrote a column at the l a free press call.

The know some dirty old man one week.

He wrote this article in there about going to say was just go to read and having these punk ass hole all stupid filmmakers along and he was trying to kind of help them along and organizing this and that as these people bumble through and asking stupid questions and so it was quite an entertaining kind of funny peace.

So i read a nice idea and i saw him later and i said the a said hank.

I said i read that article he says yeah baby would you think i said well.

I thought it was full of shit man.

I said.

I you forget.

I have the film you're the guy who's drunk on the plane making a fool yourself and you made me.

He says a baby when i right.

The hero of my shit.

And he says you got your film.

You do your film.

Born like this into this is the chalk faces smile as misses.

A desk laughs as political landscapes dissolve as the oily fish it out.

There only pray.

We are born like this into this into hospitals which are so expensive that it's cheaper to die in two lawyers who charge so much.

It's cheaper to plead guilty.

Into a country or the jails are full and the mad house is closed.

Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich share rooms.

Born into this walking in the living through this dying because of this castrated de barge disinherited.

Because of this the fingers reach toured and unresponsive go.

The fingers to reach for the bottle the pill to powder who were born into the sour full deadliness.

It will be open and unpunished murder in the streets.

It will be guns and roving mom's land will be useless.

Food will become a diminishing return.

Nuclear power will be taken over by the many explosions will continually shape the earth.

Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated man.

The rotting bodies of men and animals when staying in the dark when and there will be the most beautiful silence never heard.

Born out of that the sun hidden there and in the next chapter.

His full name was henry charles.

Bukowski jr and his father called him henry.

With a very strong gruff voice so hank was sort of the nickname for henry and charles.

Just charles bukowski and especially being a writer sounded a little better than henry bill cassidy.

Another can make this on just two bottles and maybe three bottles.

Ratings.

Liquors like anthony classical music comes next.

You don't use that is it down to this totally of into the sky when you're in pain and when years we have depression.

I am a longer.

I started reading this oh.

And i hear this man's voice rising.

Sun and my own i'm going to go all over again in law and changes will living and.

I'm having a his as right has gotten them all.

So watch a man.

I'll take to lock up on monday.

Your life you were right yeah no.

Way every writer writer they only care.

Well and i was i guess.

I was about.

Two years old.

And i was covered with a sport also.

First writing i did this.

You know for school.

I just found a council and i started writing.

I filled out.

For or.

Just that it was the first time.

The mechanism adage exposed so.

Show actually pretty good sitting there right growth.

Kosovo.

I road on and on sale.

Easy.

Nice thing to do it still remains ac.

A he said on the tape.

I have somewhere.

I know exactly when i became a writer was on such a delving day.

I love that when he said that such a dull the day when i sat down and i wrote about a man with one arm lasted people out of the sky.

Man's red necked awesome.

And my father saw that there's a short story short.

I would say after that he was a rider that was it.

He was going to l a city college.

It's still there and vermont and he walked into journalism class.

I had two years of college but i didn't do anything.

I just laid on the lawn miss classes.

I couldn't get a job security.

A safer out an application will watch him.

It's a very hard job to go is a.

It's so early on your decisions that you didn't work because to journalists know that i think if they had a hard man or woman in a church.

And while i'm glad they didn't.

He does book that.

I write a ball.

If you ever went to the me.

Oh no.

What.

Are you manage it.

Psychiatrists would not take me.

Yeah man.

You believe in the war.

I said no.

You're willing to go to the war.

You're a very intelligent man.

You come to a party at my house next.

One.

Then i will have artists writers painters lawyer.

Well actually.

I want you to come to my martin next wednesday night.

We come to my party.

I said no.

Okay you can go.

What you mean i can go in.

You don't have to go to the war.

Smile.

On i first came to the united states and fell in love with american literature and music and jazz and a whole shebang really.

I just fell for it.

I was very uncool in england to be.

Beholden to america but i was irish size forgiven you know and i just got last time and the poetry of the place.

Names and city lights is important and stop off from me.

So i picked up a few of hanks.

Early books love is a dog from hell hot water music.

And i started to discover a new kind of writing.

That had a directness.

The away from the beats which i'd started out with a beat sort of connection for an irishman because of you know you could eat the language and it was was rage and prosaic.

But here's a guy was like look at no time for medafor.

Because i and we just get straight down to add to the bone marrow of the bomb.

It's not a large things and send a man to a madhouse.

Das he's ready for our murder incest robbery fire and flow.

No.

It's a continuing series of small tragedies that send a man to the madhouse.

Not the death of his lungs but a shoelace and slaps with no time left.

With each broken shoelace out of one hundred broken shoelaces one man one woman.

One st andrews a man hours so be careful millennium band door.

Five to shoot a portrait now and get the picture.

By read your local girl.

The definition of.

Surely you could do when you can't really.

Over the first woman.

I was the three hundred pound horror.

I don't know my first piece as well as twenty four years.

He really wasn't a pretty guy and i didn't have any money.

I was a bomb yeah.

I'm sorry you know i could never went to the high school board.

It was an outcast.

Simon this lady.

She seemed like may first woman.

I remind me and.

She was big but she was a woman.

Yeah i was proud to be withdrawn.

With drinker beer on got him to.

So i were to an hour or hour because i want to prove.

I was a man well first time.

Below are really try and an awesome boy.

This is six.

It sure is allow us to.

Just that we're talking about a high school locker rooms.

So we i don't know if i made it a problem.

But anyhow we were both.

True story on honor.

There's a huge beast was lying.

With broken the bear.

We're like outta here.

Abed what it's right.

So on.

Burn you know.

Rush to my parents my wallet.

I do our you took my wallet.

Now now.

Action.

Pitch.

And i don't know you've got up your congress.

Where i started over after.

I kind of.

First time of the legs of them.

Our external felt something around with my wallet.

And hour.

I don't know.

Forget the and.

She may not have as much per se.

So.

Right away around down the borrower it better.

There was she told the board walker said listen.

This girl.

Saunders for review.

With cancer.

I see one of the reasons because key monday run a country was very simply a young man's need to see his country.

And i think the other reason was he wanted to delve into life.

He needed experiences so he when he bought a ticket and railways and he went all the way to florida as far as he could go.

Now.

He's had to get as far away from my father is possible probably that's true that he headed back to new orleans and he was in el paso.

Falls to the forties he live in one rooming house or my little cold water hotel room.

After another looking for that golden sentence.

You know wanting to write that story that would put him up there on the charts.

I would get a common laborer job summer for a week or two men live in a cheap room and type.

I used to live on the one candy bar day.

Cost a nickel.

Always remember the candy bar was called payday.

That with my pay their fines on.

And that candy bar tasted so good.

I have it at night.

I'd take one by was so beautiful.

I wrote for five short stories away during this time and i hand them out everywhere.

I came bouncing back.

He was looking for his art and he got rejections and basically what he was getting you're not good enough.

Not you're not good you're not good enough.

And he heard it and he understood it.

Now.

At that point you can make a choice or well to hell with it throw it out.

I'm gonna go get a profession do something because can never did that.

Laying in bed one night myself.

August hell.

Another voice him he said.

Don't quit.

Say that i'm a little amber.

Of our never given that spark because if along as you have expired you start the great as far.

As were in a ladies drescher.

And they may may work two hours over time.

I still kept the spark of.

I will not quit.

I will not let them kill me.

I'm walking out.

In two guys me off guard hey i because he come here a minute ever laughing at me and i knew they were laughing.

Because i was just the slave standing there.

From one on with a very long walk and remember the trees were frozen and winter.

It was in st louis.

Let you put these letters under my door.

I opened the won.

We've accepted your short story.

Oh.

The fire i saved has a chance.

But the funny thing is a took a bad story.

The young rider growing up the thirties and forties wanted to be in harper's atlantic monthly.

That's why hemingway in civilian that's where the heroes published.

I don't think it was quite the market for and the magazines during the forties who are pretty much published by is chin intellectuals.

John steinbeck hello aren't.

I'm getting recognised western rose just run out.

Very much appreciated and recognized as they are today.

Let me tell you that story of the first time.

I read because he was really really.

I'm.

I'm one of those just happenstance thanks.

I was about said see about twenty five at the time.

I was in the bookstore with this girl that i really really wanted to fuck but.

She was just my friend and i told the book clerk.

He asked me if he could help me and i said yeah yeah yeah.

There's this guy have been written about this people the time but this guiding bukovsky you only thing about this guy and the butler.

I look how skilled just as my favorite coming to the bathroom with the bathroom in a way you kiss all if is because the steps goes up to the top shelf and it cools down so books and he has me this poconos yeah.

This is because these latest and he has we.

This clock has a moral the time the business as latest when you get is great if you know if you don't know the many should know the man.

So i just i picked up the book and opened it.

And i just fell to this page where here page one hundred and the first call i read was called oh yes.

There are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize this.

And most often when you do it's too late and there's nothing worse than too late.

Sigh just close the book handed a batch one but i've never forgot that poem.

There are worse things than being alone and like.

I said the reason i mention that girl that i was weird because i sort of looked at her in a different light after that and looked at are like you know.

There are worse things than being alone and i don't want to wait until it's too late.

There are so.

I would go away go away.

Then we let me just worry about other things besides besides you so that was my first introduction of because it.

I was.

The for twenty five with around thirty five have you just accepted me.

I don't understand that she was real fine looking woman with body and good from a little bit man.

This is jane.

This is former high school yearbook.

There are many love poems the early love poems.

Jane was the first woman the of really and relationship with.

She was ten years older than he was she was born in nineteen ten and he was born in nineteen twenty.

He he seem to be all alone except for this woman.

He lived with that he would refer to sometimes.

And a derogatory way the way men refer to.

Women.

I saw her once and it fit his description of on which was.

She had a fat ass and was good to lean up against in wintertime.

And beautiful know who are high.

You not across the length.

Skirt just kicking the here like this.

I'm talking to him.

Feel like a big.

You know as she did not as she did not have the good looks and that of a of sophistication.

Classy woman with beautiful legs you always failure.

Even though you've only been there once you do your might be something else been and therapy find account might be something really marvelous list.

It could be a moaning the.

Something by looking at the name from.

I think there's anything wrong with the.

And i'm from yours imagine some extra magic when you're looking at the outside more even mean.

She would just take off for a month and leave him.

And then come back only because had exhausted all those opportunities out there or was sick and tired of what was going there and would come back to him.

He was kind of like a home base.

Only.

They didn't have a really domestic life together.

It was a continuous is going into bars getting into trouble getting kicked out of rooms do his attention and just.

Find your lady already drunk dirty dishes in the sink a dog on fed.

The flowers on watered the bed on made the ashtrays full of punched out lipstick smeared cigarettes.

Those days were so.

Are always drown getting kicked the he was like being in a war and never read landed.

I you asshole what are your daughter them plan with yourself.

It goddamn the whore what do you know about anything sit down your dad as suck and at the been all but there was a mild winters there because we both didn't care for sure.

Though that may be usually hit me but you are near the man hell law and hit a man you think.

I'm crazy.

A where the hell you're going.

Rondo the fuck and bar now without me that without the buster.

I thought i really handsome.

I did i have enough drama.

To get our stores to said before the long mirror to tell a bartender vodka seven everything was far away then the post office the world.

The past and the future to have our drinks arrive to take the first hit and the dark by.

Live couldn't get any better.

He do.

Hello.

No.

I feel fog in the morning you wake up before the sun comes out the stiffer little while and minute burns away.

Early.

Absolute put a good answer for hate yeah.

Quickly.

It's just love is a fog and burn for the first day light of reality.

Ama.

The post office or i carry mail return after coming up.

Really terrible place for.

There was bought for five of us that was subset to carries and of which station.

I think especially first impressions would ban would him.

The guy was was didn't wear clothes well and he himself was big.

Which could have been an asset.

But he carried himself like a big gulu you know.

And he had this heavy face with these heavy features that had to grow on you.

There.

There.

Here.

Pure hell.

He hated it but don't blame.

The job was him.

He just hated the knees and regulations.

He did as little as possible and he and the boss were enemies and at odds.

And the boss saw to and that he got all the dirty crap on make the shit out to toy.

I was and quick that think about my job a theater.

In fact i hated it that i guess out.

And how can you hate a good job out of states government lifetime secure and.

Robbie curator this.

Street right here.

I know the tower alla.

I only cured three or four year.

Clerk arrest the town still you know it that way you learn the phone number.

You get to think of our and you're wrong and now in our.

He call your child or that horror story and it was a horse.

They are you capital age.

Why.

And we've been beaten what a raise or strong.

Three times a week.

I'm the age of six to eleven.

Normally beatings and.

Well if any other yeah.

So you see this was very good literary training on it.

Beating me why that strap taught me something.

One teacher.

How to tie it.

What's the link.

The link is.

When you get the shit kicked outta here long enough and long enough and long enough.

He will have a tendency to say what you really me.

In other words you have all the pretense be data do.

But my father was a great literary teacher.

He taught me.

The meaning of pain.

Pain without reason.

To the postmaster los angeles california please accept my resignation as regular a carrier sector three eleven fifty five i find.

This occupation is detrimental to my health.

I am bothered with ulcers and the pressure and demands of the job are aggravating my condition.

The post office had treated me well is only that i must seek a more.

Congenial occupation.

And i regret the severance can we see because he jr.

I don't choose you know her.

Nor do i thought it was too.

From i just grew cold.

Came out.

Be surprised how much work there is.

It coming.

It's per.

Anyhow they took me to county general hospital.

Was.

As i left the hospital on doctor told me.

You take one more und drang.

You're dead.

See doctors lie to austin.

I was supposed to die am.

I just didn't.

And i'd kind of felt like i had a free life and extra life too.

Shaw came out of their got a job driving a truck.

Drank a lot of beer each night thought a typewriter and just started typing.

Only this time at all came out poetry.

The pros had gone somewhere.

Check the man who rose from the dead and and a whole new life to live in did.

As often the case with a near fatal illness in their life the send someone often entirely rejuvenated direction.

For started writing hundred pounds and sending them out you know poetry doesn't pay and may hamper.

It was just a farm.

I needed.

Kind of a passionate pleasurable selfish nice far more you can scream a little bit.

I'm just submitted to scream old now.

Sometimes in your mid thirties your consciousness.

Kind of explosion takes wings and that seems of happened with hank.

He wasn't doing it with the stories.

These things come out in one tenth.

The time have a short story and because he had trained himself as a pros rider.

How did the palms come out.

They came out as stories.

They were narratives when i took her home she said big red was the best horse she'd ever seen until i stripped down.

I saw the cows give oh my what a great juxtaposition.

All i can say is that while he was drinking all through the fifties and sixties he produced more poetry than almost any other person on the planet that i know of.

The discipline of sending those palms out because it's you get lazy you have to go to the stationary shop and get the one hundred and beloved.

You have to go the post office and get maybe the fact that he worked in the post office takes an enormous amount of energy and he did it every day.

Now he was a hard working power.

He was no no not fifty nine as king of a little magazines.

He says out thousands of pounds without goblins them get on back.

So he was no neither man as king of a little magazines.

This is great were right right.

Sometimes i'm taking my laundry to the lottery.

I keep driving all the way to the racetrack almost because i'm so used to guy in a race track.

Hey wait a minute.

But i want to the racetrack to use as a substitute for drinking.

I was going to give up drinking just use the restroom.

I had a girlfriend.

Oh.

I can't drink what am i gonna do she said.

Fuller horses i said horses what's going on.

So we go to the track i'm a race against each of us.

How stupid.

I mean they have horses and they run against each other.

This yeah you bet on ice.

Yeah that so ignorant.

They're almost every day.

This would been back in the mid fifties.

His idea was he was going to quit his job and follow the track wherever the horses were running del mar hollywood park santa neither and just be a full time gambler.

He went to the tracker initially in the his wife to try to make a killing so he could quit whatever he was doing and right full time which of course never happened.

I was at the track one way and i was late for the first grades but i'm our household them not good for your beer.

Beersheba really coming on now i.

Love with a sit down and i got my hands and shorts down real fast and then it came.

Hi lori years and stage.

One i got up and why don't look down on.

There was my wallet or flow.

Now.

And no.

I dipped in god and.

He got out of as don't wash the lockdown.

When the announcers there at the game.

I ran around the corner found a betting window pulled one of the bills.

Other my wallet and holler ten went on the nine or more.

The seller picked up the bill and looked at it.

Come on come on i say.

It's good to get a little black.

The seller looked at me hit the button and on hand and chicken.

Then i went out and watch the race that my mind wars ran out.

When i don't go to the track can't right.

Goes on.

Cautionary analyzer it goes away you can use of arm still can.

Will you go to the true.

You see many many cases or it's.

Hundreds and hundreds of base.

And they all have a dream they want to win.

It's a bigger arena and you just see.

What they are they don't get to know what happened.

Just opens.

Who tells me so.

He just a few poems to that barber fry and she was ready to annoy him as the genius of the western world.

Because she was getting tortured from all over from rebel magazine and here's something wow.

I was like it was atomic.

Barbara fry entered the magazine added taxes they got to writing letters in as time went on.

They started discussion of fact that they're both alone.

He had broken with jane at that time.

He said i have a face like ravage lion.

He was worried you'd see him and run the other way.

She should i have been neck that won't turn.

I was born with a net that won't turn.

I so he well backs up like.

We're both wounded lions.

And they decided to get married and blitzes by a long distance love affair.

So she pulls in l a and they go to las vegas to get a quick marriage.

Basically said that she was sweet and sexy you.

At the same time she was a rich girl or repairs really had money in texas and like a lot of people.

I'm sure got involved with the cascade with them through his charm but then realized.

Afterwards he was a handful and ultimately she thought that her money could control him and of course it could.

It's all based on the battle of the sexes with because he hears the woman.

Here's the man.

Kids read his work and think you know how to do the old man show for a lifeguard flag because we've started publishing because que nineteen seventy two.

And everyone was dumping only ones that are you doing publishing dirty studio man and i kept saying this man is more of an orange good.

Any other people we publish.

I was asking someone.

What ford would have thought of or corners century.

And she said there's one thing for couldn't have foreseen or destiny.

Making everything que.

Everything in life when i wrote something about to queue to try to justify why i was publishing him.

I said he's devoted to the d disneyfication of all of wish.

Someone has to kick them.

Mickey mouse out of our hinge.

A this five mickey mouse.

Especially his hands i think he has three fingers.

He could not handle the fact that the power over multi millions of human beings was in the hands of this three finger and foolish creature that taught you nothing whatsoever that expressed nothing real.

Total absurd fucking fantasy not even good not even creative.

He was appalled by mickey mouse.

And i said well what about walt disney.

He was a crazy son of a guy.

He was eccentric.

He was a genius he was amazing is a visionary yeah all of these ideas and he say yeah but for what ah well.

I said to expand the imaginations and fantasies or little children yeah.

This three finger and son of a bitches.

This has no so for cry sake.

Mickey mouse doesn't have a fucking sorrow.

Dear sir is i was a regular terrier oakwood station with over three years.

Service last april i resign from the service.

This letter is written and hope that i may be reinstated as a substitute carrier.

I gave my reason for resignation ill health.

This i will state bluntly was an untruth.

I realize now that i was in the wrong and if i had only taken a little time to cool off and be objective.

I never would have handed in my resignation.

I hope the previews and i can be a carrier worthy of my salt.

Oh.

This is hilarious the guys talking corny stuff where the of my salt the most and corny guy in the world you know.

But i guess he figured his audience.

I promise that should you decide in my favor that you will never regret the decision sincerely h bukovsky junior los angeles you know it really reads like somebody who grew up in the depression.

Frankly and had been through hard times.

Said twelve uses a post office freely about fifteen fellas as a carrier for three years.

Stuck for twelve eleven step closer with how could a man like you use that was such a long time.

This such a stupid you're doing this.

All my work was stupid.

But it was a lie.

That how so can't sleep nights.

I mean.

Of course really what he was doing was getting a place that could be his little cave to write and once you get into a bureaucracy.

Like the post office.

It's a womb and ultimately he may have hated it but it was a regular paycheck.

He knew he was going to retirement.

It was the thing that he'd made work for himself.

He never really thought in his mind that he could live off his writing.

Yeah i was writing all during that time.

Around nineteen sixty i started getting.

And you are ready successful.

It's a utter.

Oh no successful you not to and my.

Hello.

Why are somewhere with the queue to.

He was because he the low never gets lonely when he was drunk.

He had to have some companionship and he found my letter and they have my phone number that was flying hum me.

He was very charismatic anyway but when he was drunk it was even more songs that was like.

Meeting an elemental forces them so of it.

When i met him he was going to work at the post office at night and he would write every day before he went to work and so he didn't see me very often.

The had been having unprotected sex for two or three years ever since.

I got divorced and i do not think that i was going to get paid so when i do get nightly.

I think.

That it had to do with the change in my emotional.

Oh.

Stay because my reaction to kennedy's assassination.

Anyway i did get.

So i decided on just to a and could see what he wants to do so.

He suggested right off that we get married and he was kind of taken aback lead in wanna get married.

I really loved him but i do not ever want to get married again.

I collect and everything and american literature melville henry james whitman faulkner scott fitzgerald.

Then i was looking for that in post world war two writing and i found the beats ginsburg and and care whack and then one day.

I picked up a copy of the outsider and read the casket and laws people.

Just faded into the background.

This is the first letter arrival the cascade and october nineteen sixty five just saying derby house gay boy you a good point.

I was not a publisher that time and i had no idea that i would become one.

Was managing a large office supply and office furniture and office printing company in los angeles and the print shop was under my control and after i had talked to because him saw the materially had i decided.

I was gonna do some broadsides or because ski.

A broadside is the most inexpensive and police difficult way to publish anything you print.

One side of a piece of paper with usually one poll monitor one paragraph.

Author was a heard good gear know at work all night.

You know eleven years clerk and and i had to right.

Get up start drinking and riding men go to work.

Same vein get a drink and right.

He really did suffer because first of all he was drinking too much and he the fact that he might skip a day without writing was just a care for him.

And then in addition there was a thing they're the post office called the scheme was the he'd sit in a little plexiglass box.

Like a telephone booth.

They give you one hundred pieces of mail and you have to throw with a certain percentage of accuracy within a given amount of time.

And he said he would get up from that stool and walk out and leave a puddle of sweat on the floor.

Every six months they had to be tested you so he would study.

He had a cheese lots and whole city up behind his desk which is that up right oh think little cubby holes he'd empty everything out of that cheese blogs and he would sit and need you have little cards with addresses on the money throw them.

In see how does she gets older and and i was the nightmare to him to imagine that he might feel schemes.

Illness lose his job.

Could live my arms anymore.

They wouldn't lift up after a night work.

So said.

You gotta get out of their diet go crazy.

I was born on september seventh nineteen sixty four.

And i just remember this little house and los angeles.

Thanks typewriter.

Hank work at night.

Marina didn't sleep in the daytime.

She didn't sleep at night either.

I will never getting any sleep hours dreadfully unhappy and looking back.

I will so sleep deprived that i wish.

I was insane.

And hey like the happy woman in the house he likes to to be singing and the kitchen and so on we we didn't really talk about this until one day he sat down and said are you going to have to get out pay your rent up to what i can afford.

But we didn't move very far away so that he could still see marina.

I used to take her over to his place whenever i ran out of money for food.

And call him and say can we come over for dinner.

We did.

He makes stake in lima beans.

Which i love to of course his.

He read it.

Remember he like to rest after he had a big meal and of horserace.

Little wanted to play so one of the things.

I like to play was batman and robin bullet went like this.

You be batman were in a new kitten.

Do things and i'll be arrive at and because he doesn't do anything if you apply of the bed and just sort of snooze alert to have the bed and batman.

Certainly a new my father was very different than anyone else.

His father.

My mom was very different to open our lives or their friend and all of our friends were different so.

Maybe maybe that led me to fill it was positive instead of feeling like.

I wanted to fit in with.

Something that i couldn't fit and more.

The genius of the crowd.

There is enough treachery hatred violence absurdity in the average human being to supply and a given army on.

I'm a given day.

And the best a murderer those who preach against it and the best at haider.

Those who preached lows and the best at war finally are those who preach peace.

Beware the average man the average woman be where there low.

Their love is average seeks average but there is a genius in their hatred there's enough genius in their hatred to kill you to kill anybody.

Not wanting solitude not understanding solitude they will attempt to destroy anything that differs from their own.

Not being able to create art they will not understand art.

They will consider their failure as creators only as a failure over the world.

Not being able to love fully they were believe your love incomplete and then they will hate you.

And their hatred will be perfect like a shining diamond.

Like a knife like a mountain like a tiger like hemlock.

Their finest art.

On a way to about the go to heaven which currently math occupation again.

Relax.

The only.

The people were working on experimental newspapers and magazines.

We're operating out of eisenhower america.

Cause an hour america.

Fucking happening in our country not stand these little magazines were we started.

We printed five hundred or that hundred thousand worse than the know circulation.

So i decided i'd much rather.

I took some acid in january.

Nineteen sixty three.

I quit my job to days later.

Don't agree on newspapers you're promoting a new lifestyle and own new politics and america.

When we made no attempt to the object.

He would totally subjective.

We said have dubbed activity was a lie.

Before open city came into being.

Was very well known and and little magazines we all reading but they weren't for many of us.

I mean there might have been a couple of thousand and the whole country.

You read these little magazines.

So i put him on the streets in front of all the places where the hip was he hung out in hollywood and within six months.

He was that very famous man.

He appeared in the first issue of open city or the book review of a hemingway book and after that we're we're getting ready with the second issue as that.

I want to lose something once a week.

And he said what are we going to call it.

You stand that said it was during oh man even been drinking all night as best was terrible.

I said well you're a dirty oh man notes of the dirty oh man.

He said he didn't like all this sippy shit who are these people and at work and know how starts a cell see.

What life is all about their hippies.

But he had a place where he could publish his stuff which was a pretty rare opportunity for him and so he used for him zone needs.

The i saw somebody on a bus can know been work reading open city are working guy have a slave laughing his balls up.

We want him because he scores and what's your favorite.

Old lady.

Louis way too hard work and guy coming home from work and from a factory and he's laughing at the story.

You know that his book so was millions of people would enjoy and it.

Well as bad.

No many as twenty one a slimmer little apartment silver lake my dad.

And i was reading the l a free press.

Notes from under your man was in there are you says is remarkable is that scares them as guys the writer of the century and is being published in a in a scam.

Rag weed same.

Car poetic and perfect for him to be there because you felt much more like you had discovered him as well and it that he wasn't being brought to you but you had to dig and fired him.

We had a mutual friend and he had a girl the marry him so they were having a party in the county.

I'm going to the party and there was a guy wandering his lawn and kind of trimming the edges and i come to.

I'm all alone here because he's as yeah come on a man bring a six pack.

I offered yes yes yes and i said hey way.

Oh come on let me come on for all right come on and they got to talking all of us.

They all of us about the vietnam war how bad it was were all against the war and yeah war is bad because he says he's talking about the war he's been in and how many people eat kill.

A bullshit get outta here l a if you don't like me.

I said yeah lead sunday.

The guy takes out a gun.

And he says i was in the war and i believe in telling the enemy so.

I had no friends around the another car disappeared away.

I tried to edge towards the kitchen.

I was going to go out and get help by maybe.

I was running but i really think i was trying to a job to get help so came out by put a gun to my temple because he puts his belly and the muzzle the gun.

He says go ahead new kill me man.

I don't think you have the guts.

I said a suicide care if any her.

I've been wondering how to do this thing now use my primal couple.

More minutes went by guess.

I could a jolly kept looking at least.

And you go to prom on a daily life in jail.

Or the electric chair the guy looks up again come on man go ahead kill me.

The guy drops the gun and starts crying.

I didn't mean it.

You know a screen door slammed to walk down the because he picks up the gun empties.

It all my friends camera oh and you are.

If yeah you guys are really great while i was younger.

It really helped me didn't hear is standing watching you couldn't grabbed him from behind her and a while handkerchief okay.

The hero a what.

I think he just did cite the guy out.

I loved it.

But i was really ready to go wouldn't have been a big fan.

John martin could see john morton could feel the public out there.

After a certain number of books john martin started to realize that there was going to be an audience for this writer and that because needed to focus himself full time and because he was very resistant to that if i go out there and lose my tenure at the post office and lose my gig in my ability to support myself and we fail were why go.

See this man came on steam whole staff john he should stay.

Blacksburg.

He came by.

One night.

We sat down in his little dingy room and got out a piece of paper.

And we figured out what it cost him to live.

And he was putting down these amounts like three dollars and fifty cents a month for cigarettes.

And nineteen dollars for food don't remember this isn't a mid sixties rent was eighty bucks.

Child support was fifteen and we came up with a hundred dollar is and i think you could really get along on one hundred dollars a month we said yes so.

I said okay.

I'll give you twenty five percent of my income for life.

Whether this works or not but you've gotta quit and right for time very reckless.

I didn't tell my wife.

Give you a hundred dollars a month enough to liberia right anything on now.

That's pretty good.

It gets the rack and may not have the charge that against.

So that gave me some money.

Didn't you feel kind of odd like casting your favorite.

This guy this hard drinking kind of wild man now because that was all overridden.

By the fact of who he really was not played distorted part of him.

But what when he really stood for and and am and what made him important i mean i the first time i read him.

I said my god.

This is today's whitman.

This is the man of the street writing for the people in the street.

And when you get an opportunity where whether you're a banker aura or hold up man.

You go for it and there was built our ski in california.

Have this guy will commit his future work to me that will start me off.

I said the him with the end of and nineteen sixty nine.

I know you're a poet and that's what i'm planning the publishing.

That's why i'm starting black sparrow press to publish your poetry.

But if you've ever could write a novel that would be really great because novel so a lot better than books of poetry.

But no rethinking that he could or would.

So he started work for me one hundred dollars a month on january second nineteen seventy.

And he call me around the twenty fifth of january and said in kind of a milky way come and pick.

It up.

I should will pick up what he said my novel.

He said the write a novel and i said how how could you write a novel in three or four weeks and he said fear.

Murkowski hated those pastoral beginnings.

It was a beautiful land rugged that were snow capped mountains in the distance and tom.

Haney came along and his old jalopy you know that that all my god because he would say why why do they start with crap like that that isn't real and so how does post office begin.

What is the first line it began as a mistake and what a great opening than than a reader things well what began as a mistake my life.

We have has a postal worker for twelve years and here's the story.

What did he finally do for all the pain for all the trouble of working.

There.

He brings us a humorous novel.

My name was dumb noodle right.

He changes it to tom which is legitimate moto which is japanese.

I mean didn't they didn't even realize it stuff.

No slur against the japanese it's and so you know it's a wonderful name either way but.

Where's his creativity.

He could have call me graziano.

A sudden you know oh.

Was the book accurate.

The book was accurate.

Yeah my dad's fella time in the bars so i was drawn to.

I that dark places my dad drag in the afternoon really dark bars.

And.

So i guess that's how it began and course courses much more than that but by the place that i didn't do unless the back that he was home seem to be a writer.

The common people in street people in.

Looking in the corners of the dark corners where no one seems want to go for it.

We are right about anime.

So.

Yeah seem like the he was the writer for the dispossessed and.

People in our voice.

I saw that collection to reverse of california santa barbara for fifty thousand dollars.

There were all first editions.

This is back in the mid sixties and fifty thousand dollars was fifty thousand dollars and that's what i started.

And by that after about two years three years because i wasn't working and those other income.

I got down to five hundred dollars.

Well it's back to work.

This has been a great run but it's over and then that week for the first time.

More money came out.

And at that point because can i run away.

Anybody feeling the ups and downs in a capitalist society you're good at reading about a guy was actually preaching.

A refusal to work.

What factotum creatures his a refusal to work not boot up integration of the protestant work ethic but you know the fundamental wrongness of it.

All incredible wave of a life dictated by august.

The magic.

Sarge right one.

Let the king at a party.

And she invited me and i do.

On because he didn't invite me let a cage ferociously flirting with every man.

They're laid off work out so it so at the end of the party.

There's like eight or nine.

People left early.

I'm to the door get out of worries use up the door later.

I was any just started.

This rage is about six what violence.

It's what i watch it.

I just i didn't understand a word volcano erupting.

Global done stuck in place and started.

I'm look out.

It started to reduce reduced in size and high proportion.

That's where we got a shot.

I believe in god.

I sort of guy is to have feet tall.

As as i see by hand now though i saw him to and i just didn't well anyone to get big again.

So i turned around and went by out the front door.

I was with my girlfriend and she had her foot up there.

I was going in circles on the street stopping starting.

Standing.

Her heal them that one briefing herself she thought we were going to die.

With it.

The nice design like it.

Cars beginning to look like me.

You know i used to send and girls too ugly.

Women.

Women are very strong.

If you and something good to the room you know like you're feeling.

Women are strong and they don't care if you have one arm.

Or five fingers missing or your nose blown off if you just.

No such luck.

Women was the book that hank was writing.

When i met him yes as matter fact because he was doing.

What he called research.

And it started out with a woman who he had been with for a long time linda king and he was sort of breaking up with her when he got a little bit of notoriety.

Women started coming to him and he had the opportunity to sort of take his pick.

I'm just sort of have experiences and it like a charm almost he was discovering this whole world of women in a way that he hadn't and then he was involved with this other one named cupcake so brian.

I thought of him more as a friend.

He was to me more of a father figure.

I didn't take a relationship that seriously.

I can't say that i ever.

Was in love with.

The sing we occasionally the song and winter and to this day.

I don't know that i've ever heard that.

I don't know if it's a real started.

Other that was part of the just made up.

Go something like.

Me too.

Why must you be so mean to me.

I mean to me hello when you leave me new.

This is before my time ha.

You the me.

So yeah he was crazy about her and she had him.

At her beck and call in other words she didn't care she could go on for we weekend.

I didn't think about him and he would just agonize a whole week.

You know that one tom but the confused all man driving around in the rain.

Oh no.

Right.

Go ahead.

Yeah you're right now she she'll be mad for a week.

Why are you use.

To me.

Why must you be.

Honey it seems to me.

You does.

Me cry.

Nice day.

When i when use.

You.

Don't.

The law.

Cry eye member was going over to his place.

On current way.

In there was a beat up or couch on the porch and front and here's these two absolutely.

Untouched beautiful blonde dutch girls waiting for him to come home.

And.

He wanted to know where he was.

I so.

I guess is a to track but i'm meeting him at five o'clock.

And this is all we want to see because i said well what do you assume for should all the fuck him.

While reading your book women are good impression that for your woman is nothing more than and behind that a pair of tennis.

Oh come on you read it and that's all you got.

You didn't even get the prior to our ike.

I cried in bed because.

Tears came to my face because i am i invited.

To him and to have thanksgiving with me.

I didn't know which one to go to.

I'm a know their many moments in there were.

I look like a complete asshole and i fell like on.

No no i will watch isn't that just wasn't.

Jumping into bed and fucking and jumping out of and i'm sorry for would be nice for me to say that and ten.

I'm a tough guy.

But i'm not that.

But in your stories love is always a synonym for sexual intercourse.

Or do you have to learn where do you get this crap buried.

Love as a dog from hell.

Saw it has it's own egg and it's said bring the tone agonies where the.

But i mean i don't know where you get your concepts from man.

He really fucked the.

You know i remember that there was a moment over here.

I talked about it in the sense.

It the accusations of massage any.

The he said it was a simple you have a reddit knows the percentage basis.

I am i treat man worse every time.

Okay in it and and in essence he does it is so so much as autobiographical and it's about making mistakes and a messy world.

Tom this is clogged.

The shower.

We like to shower afterwards i left the water hotter than she.

Interface is all with soft and peaceful.

And she'll watch me first spread the so over my balls lift the ball squeeze them been washed the car hey.

This thing is still her.

Then get all that hair down there for ballet.

The back that neck the leg.

I grin grin graham and then i wash her.

Another kiss and she gets out first towel and sometimes singing the last day and turn the water on hotter feeling the good times of loves america when the you brought it to me.

Sir.

When you take it away two it slowly and easily.

Make it as if i were dying in my sleep instead of in my life.

A man say i'm getting this way sound and my mom.

Ship sorry.

That's the one i split with.

Try.

It's not a very good reading in a blender when i to their own pong shit.

Getting softer and softer can.

And during that time i met him at a poetry reading in l a it's a true.

The door.

But he was still doing all this research with women so i had no intention of becoming a girlfriend or anything so you just sort of dissolved friendship and i was somebody.

Hit always call on the phone and did talk to me about all these other women and then it just got more and more involved in the women came in and out went smooth.

His life and finally.

He.

This research was complete.

I ended up the air.

Iran gone are the them.

He did a beautiful painting for this we reproduce and is still on the cover.

Spoke isn't about a third printing.

And then the used to send me these.

Letters that women would ride him who got a book.

He received a torrent of male.

I mean hundreds of these letters are begging to meet him and offering him all kinds of of delightful experiences and here's one.

This woman has decided to take off all her clothes and lane and tub.

Can read women she would very much like to meet him so she was trying to make a connection there.

When i started coming around.

I'm going to catch.

That i haven't had.

One that i was in bed with six different women in a row.

Bill.

It must be some.

But i would go.

Actress.

Your turn now.

If go to shame that would i was doing.

A good.

Be safe.

Bird a member or here.

Cash.

Bad.

Much germany.

And is bad news.

This reminds me.

You know what kind of hesitant not really iron cross my until today.

He had published still fragments in magazines in and in the chat books about as your the lies and i really wanted him to write a novel about his life.

From time he was born basically until he graduated from high school.

What about this book that the right now the book on childhood three quarters earnest.

It's a horror story.

Been harder to write than the others.

I've tried to put in some lightness and some humor so we won't really feel.

Yoder grimness my child when he finally got to the point where he could write about his childhood.

I think that was less cathartic experience for him.

I am it was a struggle for him to write it and it took many years for him to even get to that point to be able to get get back in there and read relive it sunlight by typing it out and remembering sir and terrible things and but i think by doing that it really.

It it relinquished him from a lot of of those terrorists and is terrible experiences.

Because keys grandfather came from germany and somehow ended up in pasadena.

California were apparently he was a building contractor.

They had several children one of whom were courses henry bukovsky senior who was a doughboy and went back to germany as an american soldier.

And in the little town of honor not on rhine met because skis mother they get together and hank is conceived and born and they say and honour not for a couple years then come to the u s it back to los angeles and because his father was a melt delivery man for a while had a lot of odd jobs didn't have a lot of money but they had a pretty nice place on longwood avenue.

Finally at least by the depression years.

He's twenty one twenty two.

Would have a new the house of horrors the house of agony the house where i was almost or man.

But not quite.

Doctor.

Come on that i manicure.

More both way.

This way for them with.

I'm a had to get all the hair with a few.

If i missed one hair i got a beating.

One hair.

It's very hard not to miss one hair.

Try it sometime i always got a it.

The oh man a raises strong.

Used to hang here and you just think ago.

Trump campaign's new sure it's understandable here.

He will begin.

An animal i'm a new and she's a good movie.

Hey to twelve full team.

Cause you can help screaming specially when you six years old seven years old.

As a good the room to be about ten or eleven and twelve scream last and.

Last beating and guy didn't scream and all and his.

Didn't make to sign.

And i guess so terrorized because i was a last one.

I didn't make the same.

No no it's just terrible place to stay in town combine.

You know and love the moment too much.

He was cruel man.

He made mean beat me to watch a lot.

She she was german on her expression ross while he was beating me.

Your father is always right.

A charm charlie was too.

I guess he was right now and then on our figure about eighty six percent of the time he was wrong as hell.

Hanks father's values will probably normal american values just doesn't evil about him at that level.

Beating a child is evil.

There's the evil part on the other hand that was a tradition.

People did it all through the centuries feel back the leviticus.

If your son speaks against you you're able to kill him.

So we come a long way since jill.

It's not like can we because he was alone in the beating of the sun.

He was an asshole.

He was a coward and has blood is in my blog.

Sometimes i feel it have meant to me you know.

I'm argued with a woman or something.

I feel kind of shitty and crappy and i'm not quite josh.

And sometimes i got my father's blood and may.

A chicken shit blood on afternoon.

That's a bad nine.

This is a picture of hey from his high school graduation and this is the picture that been touched up as you can see.

His face was really quite marked.

It was very noticeable the he wasn't interested in have his picture taken.

He made sure that he was never in any of the pictures that the kids took.

We all know what acne is for acne.

Vulgaris is sort of an exaggerated form of that ailment at he had to go all the way across town to a doctor.

They would stick needles into all of these horrible huge.

Pus filled things on his face and on his neck all over his back.

His arms chest.

It's fine lame manifest physically when your foot down like that continually over years and years physically emotionally mentally in every way.

You know that wonderful chapter in i am on rye where he standing outside his senior prom.

To disfigured the go in in the too ashamed to go in and he had wrapped toilet paper around his head and then punched guy holes in the bleeding acne had come was starting to come through the toilet paper.

They just stood there and watched all the other children.

Graduating from high school having a wonderful time but he stood out there in the dark.

What's on some fucking bus with a girlfriend.

And here came and guy.

Walking toward us slogan for a back seat he is were deeper than mine.

And the to know something i was jealous charles yeah.

I said joseph faceted you see him.

She said yes there.

I said or shit what a beautiful man a while.

Hank actually stayed with his parents quite a long time for a guy who was brutalized.

I have some photos and nineteen forty four and there's bukovsky with his mother and father in the backyard of the house on longwood.

The three of them are standing together getting a photo so he may have hated them and a certain way but he always return to the nest.

It's.

I'm such a long way to the alone.

Cause other longer if you so that making it.

And all that.

This is the best laundry in town on song.

Too much too little too fat to feed.

Or nobody.

Strangers with faces like the backs of thumb tacks armies running through streets of blood waiting wine bottles and any fucking virgins.

Oh.

I know guy in a cheap room.

The photograph.

There is a loneliness in this world so great that you can see it in the slow moving the hands of clock.

People so tired mutilated.

Either by love of by know love people are just not good to each other one on one the rich and i'm good to the rich.

The poor not good to the poor were afraid.

Our educational system tells us that we can all be big ass winners.

He doesn't told us about the gutters of the suicides or the terror of one person aching in one place alone.

The beads will swing clouds will clad and the killer will be had a child like taking a bite out of an ice cream cone.

Too much.

Too little too fat too thin.

Or nobody.

More haters than lovers people are not good to each other perhaps if they were.

I'd deaths would not be so sad.

Meanwhile i look at young girls stems flowers of chance.

There must be away surely.

There must be a way we've not yet thought of.

For this brain inside of me and cries it demands it says there is a chance it will not say no.

Is linda the second linda came into his life.

She hung in there and he knew that she really cared about him and she was there to stay.

She could hold her own with with a lot of rakowski.

You know wild friends but ultimately she had a certain focus on.

I give her a lot of credit for saving his life.

I'm in a certain point in or she got him out of east hollywood.

They bought a place down in san pedro.

It's a great part of los angeles.

Not many people really know about and you know probably out and about ten years to because his life.

Basically it allowed him a different part of his life.

He continue to write and he continued to get more and more famous.

He rode through and as she became more popular image him more successful at the same famous really.

He wrote about that so he took ya away from slaughterhouses to san pedro and energies.

He's a nice houses.

You know neighbors who play golf.

Nice cars and.

So he he he took a you are you.

Let you go with my journey which.

It's really great for me and have some.

I looked up to her.

Take you were.

Gonna pass her.

Barb a shoulder didn't have enough money to make barfly the film yet and so he decided to get some professional people and do a documentary on hank sort of interviewing him over a period of several months coming over here on weekends for hours after hour.

After hour and sitting inside and outside and one night he was interviewing hank and it have been a long day and hang out three or four five or six bottles of wine and is getting a little belligerent.

I've always been used some a good guy.

A woman when they may mean they say.

Immune system better for some around is easy going guy.

So i do.

You know fun and get to resign and a appear.

What he was him.

Just being punished.

Bush.

Him.

Jones span why do you let yourself be pushed by this kind of shit in any idiot.

Why do you allow yourself to be pushed by this sorted then.

I've told you a thousand times to leave your leave.

Yeah my that they don't have any are now and that italia do that doesn't have anything to do it.

Why are they continually allow yourself to be kush because i'm kind hearted.

I give the other prefer another chance.

Do.

I'm given you dozens.

Keep pushing bush.

People laughing i have karma till you're getting and turn am going to get your ass me carter.

Some.

I have the guts she thinks.

I can't live.

I can move your ass outta here so bright so fast of a jewish attorney.

You have been a feel like your has skin.

You think you're the last woman on earth that i can go.

Yeah well.

But better stern.

Turning over to the next next.

Next guy he can have you ever be the least picture.

The mayor bob of bullshit all you have stay out every night oh shit.

I don't either.

Night after night going out what good are you.

I'm gonna get my jewish lawyer out of you out on you and he's getting get you out of this house get out and i mean it was as mortifying and he the camera was rolling.

I mean they had a perfect thing going there and this is pretty exciting why are you so afraid and that by me doing something else because i live with a woman or she lives with me.

She doesn't live with other people.

I do live with other people and i'm going to for the rest of my wife.

I know i'm gonna turn you over to the now say no.

I'm sure.

Fucking.

You'd think iraq army every fucking night.

New fuck and harm.

You fetch who do you think you.

I am just.

I'm gonna do this live with other people.

I do you outlined here.

That's when i got my guts.

I never took it again never.

The next time he try that i said he said of a bitch.

You can you can scream your ass off at at the clouds in the sky and it yourself that you're not gonna do it to me.

I'm not going to take it anymore.

I just get up walk up the stairs and i'd listen to on ranting and raving down here.

Nobody sometimes and go on for about thirty minutes and just just scream and out.

She learned a strategy for dealing with him and i saw that evolve over the years were at a certain point.

She would just die he would be baiting are and i could see he was trying to get this response.

He is trying to get the fire guy that wanted to give a fight going you.

Know and lender were just just sit there and clincher her teeth.

I can see her her jaw clenching.

And she would say that's right papa you're right.

You're absolutely right.

And she were just agree with everything he said and then he were just science and just kind of graph hair because he was so angry because you just can't fight with yourself you know and and she does wouldn't do it.

How did.

He seemed happy to be getting married and something he definitely wanted to do and they really did love linda all along and the and i think it took awhile for him to get.

Get warm up to idea that he was gonna get married you know.

I.

He cried at the wedding in front of minister.

It got very teary forum.

Mickey rourke he didn't like the idea of rehearsal a free dunaway.

She was really to rehearse as much as possible and i wanted to reverse because when you're on a tight schedule like that.

Much better if you have reversed but that know so we had to do without it and i guess he wanted to stay fresh.

Oh how could make he will portray hang.

It's an impossibility why don't.

They get some old duffer.

They want to make a world to be a humphrey bogart and pick up girls and lamar and level like that barely.

I've been whether some really beautiful girls in there which weren't of all it kind of girls and hang call him.

After he went after people a slightly damaged.

Hey really over data you know the her hanging there.

I don't think the kids ever been on schedule you know when the guy walk them.

Oh robin mirth i should run for mayor.

Because i'd walk and i say on the nasdaq especially.

So you know bragg it.

It's low key all time.

He had it all and have exaggerated.

True.

A little bit show off about.

Now.

It was kind of nest.

I found out that hollywood is more crooked dahmer ruler stupider than our books.

I read about it.

They didn't go deeply enough into our lack.

The i saw them and hard how it's really a piece of crap.

There are too many hands directing their too many fingers in the pub and they're all kind of ignorant about what they're doing.

They're greedy and they're vicious.

You don't get much of a movie.

I never got to meet him whilst now is reading him.

It was only later after really drunken night with sean penn.

Back in my house in dublin.

Talking and stupid rhymes really in sound that the was a great santa hats.

And i said you know is a is a friend of mine.

It's is now well as yeah.

He was resigning some of hanks harrison and and me like the him and you gotta be excused himself to make a phone call.

A key is there where they'll are yeah.

I saw moving around a little.

Is is out.

As it as linda says whose mana turns ivan and so lady been to every you to show.

Since we came since we were like kids like carriage van.

She been to everyone and gb into more you to shows and i'd been to lend his back.

I'd say of you guys play out.

Here we will cause.

Was sure nurse invited him down by to the to them down on the next play.

Los angeles not ever thinking they would come.

But they didn't come.

He says nato.

That the world at some to hear this wasn't a political rally.

This was the musicians on stage and this many people in this kind of sand analyst.

All this and more show.

Says.

He comes to the legacies is this is for charles lindbergh.

The task and i think we got to the oh fuck her because they're in a hurry.

I think we might have moved him a little get a child crazy.

They knew who it was.

And he was taken off guard.

He really was a lot of emotional.

I think if you linda dance to the saw yeah.

Mycoskie was fortunate enough to see and his own lifetime.

His own work.

Be translated die oh.

God knows how many languages to make him more than a comfortable living and you go out in your thirty or forty printings and you know that's very rare thing for a poet.

If he had made any money and yet he had been able to do all the riding that would have been enough for him and absolutely convinced of really were worked in a candy store.

The edges were shining shoes and we would have stated the post office retired on some bentley ass lindsay.

I'm afraid i have to agree with john william kind of prediction.

She made him.

Nineteen sixty two use totally i use it by the end of the century.

Bukovsky will be known as the guy.

You liberated poetry from the clutches of the academics and it would once were was attempting to do what the arm who actually did you know you.

This is the company that he put him in and sixty two and i'll be a turn of him.

Are you afraid of death.

No.

How cool would like to.

It's not a matter how old you can be go.

You can go having all we're oxy.

I can answer that.

So they my light dwindling now you know.

I went to the track today the came back from the track.

I looked down.

I get on one black true and one browns shirt.

He flies.

Even i won two hundred and twelve dollars a more if i look down.

The light is going to a boy.

He continued to lessen the amount of alcohol in cape over the is even knowing that meant he had to be less than his myths.

I think he found a kind of confidence in himself of course when he became successful.

I that took away a lot of the psychological pressure that had been on him for so many years.

He didn't need to me yet so much he knew that he was a cause of goodness and that he could be a cause of goodness and.

I don't think he felt that way about himself in the past in his early years or in his mid years even.

Invited time he gets his last nine years.

Cause is really a wise man and very far from man and was not afraid to me long ago.

He was sad turning.

The.

The ball around and five you like to see me sides are seeking see himself.

Here's a thing called the new formalism.

In there is a little group of people call the new formalists and they want to go back to sonnets and.

You know.

Poetry at it's most structured.

And to me as exactly the wrong way poetry should be headed.

Saw this is a little new year's reading that we did.

Called art.

And that's one of his greatest poems just one word above the other as the spirit.

Wayne's.

The form appears.

As an artist or a poet or anybody loses the spirit that first brought them into whatever they do as that wayne's.

They do get more concerned with form and try to cover up the fact that they're not writings well anymore my writing formal work.

Top dedicated the bad writing dad just is the because he story right there not that he wrote badly but that he took chances that was an older man's novel and yet it's so filled with a younger man's inventiveness and suppleness.

Hollywood gotten away.

Let's see from this way and pope got an airplane.

This way.

Right and ham and or i gonna no way this or think about it and then the short stories came on a way that way and then palms rushed down the freeway.

This way you don't was that ruined landscape.

Of los angeles.

That he wrote about.

Pulp course is a pure fantasy.

It isn't a real life because cows so a fantasy though as the life of the mine so it was something that was always on his by the man was dying zero you live his life and he writes about lady death.

That's how he does is die to make our anonymous.

I'm in minute long ah and it was coming to the end.

And he was in and out of consciousness the room at the hospital.

We were just sitting there with them not just whispering gently a little bit.

Just being around him and.

I'll sort of sitting a few feet.

By towards his feet or his head was in front of me and i had been looking over on the other side of his bed to marine and his daughter and and.

I glanced at hank and.

There were.

He was emitting from his mouth.

Little paths like.

Just gentle little pass and.

I instantly realize that these are his last breaths.

I know that was what was happening them and in i'm in a matter of of several seconds.

I suppose well.

I got up to him to come to his face and hold them and.

That happened a few more moments.

And.

Then he lets.

And.

At that moment his face.

Became.

Absolutely transparent and serene.

Every every wrinkle a scar tense share everything.

Completely relaxed and there was an utter.

Tranquillity that existed in permeated every thing at that point.

And.

It was so example.

And so pure.

And.

He had a smooth face like a newborn baby.

It was just a smooth and saw like that.

Does your be in my heart that wants to get out but i'm too tough time.

I say stay in their i'm i'm going to let anybody see you.

There's a blue by the my our that was to get our but i have a whiskey on him that a hailed cigarette smoke and the horse and the bartenders on the grocery.

Clerks never know that he's in there.

There's a blue bird in my heart wants to get out and i am too tough for him.

I say stay down do you want to mess me do you want to screw up the works.

You want a ball my book sales and europe.

There was a blue bird in my heart that wants to get out but i'm too clever.

I only let him out at night.

Sometimes when everybody's asleep.

I say i know you're there so don't be sad.

Then i put him back but he's singing a little in there.

I haven't quite let him die.

And we sleep together like that that our secret pact.

And it's nice enough to make a man weep.

But i don't weep.

You.