Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Come on, love. You're gonna be late for school.

All right, come. Hold my hand.

Watch this. Get across the road.

Hello, little Miss Daisy.

Hello, Daddy.

So you been a good girl this year?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

'Cause you know Santa only comes if you've been a good girl.

- Yeah. - Okay.

And what do you hope he brings you this year?

I'd really like a pony.

A pony?

But isn't a pony a little bit big to fit in your garden?

- Where are you going to put it? - In my room.

- In your room? - Yeah.

Okay.

- Where's all her friends? - She doesn't have a lot

since they all started going to this after-school ballet class.

So why didn't she go?

It's nice you want to be in her life, Mark.

Didn't think you'd hang around, to be honest,

thought you would have left by now.

I'm not going anywhere.

I've got a letter from the council.

They want to re-home. It's something about Birmingham.

Birmingham? You don't know anyone there.

I'm not going.

Just saving every penny.

See what happens.

I'm told you haven't been at the hostel.

You know it's for your own good to stay there, don't you?

I need to work.

Well, you need to fix the dress, then.

I'm not looking for handouts.

I just want a job. You can find me a job.

But if you can't be trusted

to be in the same place you say you're going to be,

there's really nothing I can do to help you.

I'm not just here just to give out handouts.

I need you to help yourself.

But it has to be done inside the system.

That's lunch sorted, then.

Fucking hell!

I never thought we'd see each other again.

You look like you've seen a ghost.

Been a while, man.

Too long.

- Time moves fast. - It has for you.

So, what are you doing here?

Same as you.

Getting splinters for shit money.

Ain't freedom a bitch.

Surprised to see you doing all this.

Got debts.

You weren't settling on doing this.

Cash in hand.

It's loose change, mate.

Every penny counts.

When you're a pauper.

Ain't you forgetting something?

It's all packed up, mate.

It's all right if I take some of these with me?

Yeah, take whatever you want, mate.

I had to take a bit off,

because obviously you're using the tools.

All right?

You don't have to hang around, you know.

I'm all right on my own.

It's a pleasure to be here, Mark.

Right.

Want one?

No.

I reckon me and you can make some serious money

if we put our heads together.

Yeah, right.

Do a job.

You know, a proper job.

Nice and quick.

Fuck off to Spain, away from this shithole.

Like you used to speak about inside.

We had to talk, because we had nothing else.

I've got a daughter, Alan.

I can't just shoot off.

Just think about it.

The good life.

You deserve it.

We both do.

Pick me up in the morning, yeah?

All right, so you're saying

when the aliens come down, we'll say,

"Yeah, here's a person who represents us as a nation,"

and old Liz bowls out with her crown and shit,

draped in diamonds and fur, like, fucking do one!

I can think of worse people to represent us.

That's all I'm saying.

Do you reckon the queen eats sausage rolls?

Not from garages.

Do you reckon the queen's ever done, like, a belly flop

or a bomb in the pool,

really splashed Charles right in the eyes?

Reckon the queen's played football?

Of course she has. She's the fucking queen.

What, like gone on a run and proper nutmeg Charles?

I reckon she's got a wicked left foot nobody knows about.

Maybe.

Bums it down the right then switches it onto her left,

leaving Charles on his back

before curling past Harry into the top corner.

- It's possible. - Of course it's possible.

She'd buy the game off.

You can talk all you want about some nice old lady

who speaks proper representing us,

but all these fucks in power take their liberties

because they can.

Just wheel up the drawbridge

and keep the gold inside for themselves.

Well, she's good for tourism.

Tourism? Shut up.

The fucking 1%, Mark.

- What? - I'm telling you, mate.

There's people at the top getting away with murder.

As soon as they get a little bit of power,

they try and keep us down.

I doubt the queen's buried any bodies.

No, of course she hasn't.

She gets lackeys like us to do it.

Like that fucking foreman,

he's paying us half what he should.

- He doesn't have to hire us. - Yeah, well, he did,

and we're working just as hard.

Did he give you extra for the van?

Exactly. My point exactly.

He's an asshole No, Mark, seriously, mate.

He's a fucking prick.

Oy! I've got the power. Branch is coming down.

Yeah, it's all right, mate. You're all clear.

You saw the look he gave you when he paid you.

It said, "Go fuck yourself."

- Alan. - You should say something.

Mark, I need the money just as much as you do.

Are you going to keep letting these pricks mug you off?

Shut up and do some work, Alan.

Whoa! Hey, hold up! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it!

Fucking thumb!

You fucking idiot. What did I tell you?

- No pissing around on my jobs! - He came out of nowhere.

Yeah, you daydreaming fuckwit.

Talk to me like that.

Get off my fucking site, now! Right now.

- Fuck! - Fucking go.

Fuck!

Come on at me, then!

Well, now...

What are you going to show me?

I can do it.

Is that it?

No.

Well, I'm not as good as you, am I?

Are you coming in for dinner?

Daddy's busy, darling. Maybe another time, yeah?

Oh, I love you, darling.

See you.

- Jules... - Don't call me that.

Look, I don't know how much ballet stuff costs.

That better not come from where I think it does.

- Of course not. - I mean it, Mark.

I don't want you bringing trouble our way.

It's from tree work.

I promise.

- Thanks. - I'll see you later.

I don't see what the problem is.

They probably got work. Real work.

Real money.

We both need it.

You don't want to work for them. Trust me.

What's the worst that could happen?

Another six years.

They owe you, then.

You owe me two of them.

You didn't complain at the fucking time, did you?

No!

No, I don't think so, mate.

I'm not having that, Mark.

Well, they won't stop contacting you.

They want you, they'll just keep going.

The more you ignore them, the more pissed off they'll get.

You know as well as I do, Mark...

this won't end well.

Think on it, brother...

because the clock is ticking.

Tick.

Tick. Tick.

Tick.

Where'd you get this shit heap?

Motorway.

What, my motor's not good anymore?

The last one wasn't.

I heard you had some trouble inside.

Not the sort of thing we can help with,

but we made sure everything else was comfortable.

Good to have you back.

Finally.

I'm not back. Not like that.

Well, then why the fuck are you here?

MIT.

I'll say. It's a fucking write-off.

Easy, Toni. I'm just dropping...

Oh, my gosh. Mark!

Seamus.

Fucking hell, man! Long time.

Marky boy. Let me just drop this off.

- I'll come check you, yeah? - Cool.

- Who's the kid? - Ted?

Oh, he does bits and bobs for me, this and that.

Some of your old stuff.

- A bit young, isn't it? - Well, so were you.

Ted stepped up, sorted some trouble for me.

What sort of trouble?

I'll let Caddy tell you. He wants to catch up.

Yeah, I'm sure he does.

Toni, I'm not back.

There's a decent contract with your name on it.

Big numbers.

Yeah, well, just let them know that I said...

That you came back to tell me you're not coming back.

I'm sure he'll understand.

I'll be sure to let him know, Mark.

What did I do?

Hey, Mark, drop some for the crown, will you?

Let's go.

When are you going to come around and see Pete, anyway?

You'll be glad he missed you.

Just busy at the moment, trying to find work.

Caddy will go fucking mental

if he finds out you're working elsewhere.

You know that, don't you?

Pete too. He'll kill you.

I don't doubt it.

It's the same yard, though, bruv.

Come around.

I'll never hear the end of it otherwise.

Yeah. Well, I ain't going anywhere.

- Yeah. - Tell him I'll come around.

It's good seeing you, Seamus.

Good to see you too, mate.

I'll right, as soon as you catch up, right?

Respect's a thing.

Stop being such a monumental little pussy,

take the job, take the wedge,

and then fuck off away from them all.

To Spain. New life.

How many times. I'm not ducking out on Daisy.

- It's not ducking out. - It ain't an option.

Look, even if it is a job, you're a professional.

How hard can it be?

It's different now. I'm different.

I'll do it, then.

- I don't give a fuck. - They don't even know you.

Caddy don't even trust his own mother.

- You think he's gonna trust you? - Don't mention my name, then.

Take the job.

You set everything up.

I'll do the rest.

I've got my hands dirty for you before.

Yeah, and look where that got me.

Oh, how many times are you going to bring that up?

I did everything you asked.

Shh! Julia.

No. No, I'm just at work, actually.

No, no, no, no. I can get someone to cover.

No.

No, I won't be late.

Thanks.

Picking up Daisy?

Well, you'd better get a move on, then.

Daddy!

Hello, sweetheart.

- Thanks for coming. - Yeah, of course.

My mom's out of town, and everyone else is...

Jules. Sorry, Julia.

Julia, she's my daughter. I'm glad you called.

Have you started smoking again?

No.

Hmm. Okay.

Well, I'll meet you at the café at 5:00, all right?

- Here's some cash. Get some tea. - It's okay, I've got it.

Oh. Okay. Fine.

Oh, I thought you should know.

She's in the nativity. She's playing Gabriel.

I'm sure she'll tell you all about it.

- You should come. - Okay.

Thanks.

Put your backpack on. Leave us a seat.

You still doing food?

You've got half an hour.

Could I get a tea, hot chocolate...

- You got any fish fingers? - Yeah, with chips.

- Dad! - Yeah, one second, honey.

- Yes, please. - Got pie and mash: £2.50.

If you're hungry.

Uh...

Yeah, go on, then.

Peas with your fish fingers?

Daisy, do you want peas?

Daisy, do you want pea...?

No.

6.50, then.

Thanks.

Now, why didn't you tell her about cousin Ted?

She's so cute.

Look at that face.

He's not really a cousin, honey.

We just used to work the same place together.

Yeah, it was a proper family business, Daisy.

And you never turn your back on family.

Do you, Mark?

Come here and sign on properly.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Just following orders.

Remember them?

Actually, some of the family

will be at the restaurant tonight, 9:00 p.m.

They'd love to catch up.

Especially this time of year.

And Merry Christmas, Daisy.

And I really hope to see you again soon.

Not good.

Not good at all.

Head Office won't let this continue

into the new year, Caddy.

They'll get rid of Southfields first,

or maybe just hand it over.

Sorry, could I ask you to put the cigarette out, please?

Can you just get me my fucking usual, please?

Thank you.

Southfields. Nicky.

You might have to get back out there, get the punters back in.

It's not the girls, Caddy.

They're all in the Azzi's club?

Must be.

So, what's so fucking special about their pussy?

Punters like regulars.

Junction's not looking too clever, neither.

That's because I hit the coke drop.

We know that.

What we don't know is,

someone's giving them information.

- Who? - The local problem, Caddy.

We've been through this.

- I don't know. - Your fucking job to know.

I just look after the girls.

Stop it.

You're hurting me.

Maybe I should.

Don't be an asshole, Caddy.

You know what I love about you, Nicky?

You're a bitch, but you're an honest bitch.

We know how important to the organization Nicky is.

Head Office are more concerned with how unstable...

Unstable?

I think everyone needs to remind themselves

I brought stability.

And it's been like that for 30 years.

Well, all good things can come to an end, Caddy.

So get your house back in fucking order,

before they do.

If he says I sounded viable, then we do this.

It's only going to work if you do

exactly as I say to the letter.

No questions.

I manage the whole job,

oversee everything, deal with everyone.

You got that?

You're only looking after this.

Nothing else.

Okay?

You know you can trust me, Mark.

Nicky looks cozy in that office, don't she?

Back in a minute.

Done.

Marky, come and see me, sunshine.

Let's see them gorgeous chops of yours.

Where you been, big box?

Did you forget where we were,

or did you just forget about us altogether?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Hmm. Ain't you gonna see what Santa brought you?

It's a bottle of smelly. Ralph Lauren.

That's what I used to wear, if my memory serves me right.

I bought you a bottle of that after the first bank rob we did.

Remember what I used to say to you?

You always got to smell good in such a filthy business.

Do you remember that first job?

Nah. I don't.

I was 14.

Back then you always had a wise head on your shoulders.

A lot smarter than some of them old-timers.

You didn't even have hair on your bollocks.

Kind words, Caddy.

They were good days.

Where the fuck did they go?

I am getting pressure from all angles, Mark.

It doesn't sit well with me.

It puts me off my fucking ribs.

Heavy's the head that wears the crown.

Well, I've worn it too long

for them Azzis to take it away from me.

Azzis?

That's your contract.

Yeah.

See, that's what I came to talk about

You still owe me for that job.

Four years weren't enough?

Four years at Her Majesty's pleasure.

Not mine.

It was the car that Pete sorted. You know that.

Yeah, yeah. If me aunt had a cock, she'd be me uncle.

- Pete was the one that sorted... - I don't want to keep fucking going over this.

Bad things have been going on around here.

And seeing you've been banged up behind bars,

I thought you was the one I could trust.

I can't do that anymore, Caddy.

All I'm asking for is bang, bang, bang, done.

We're square. You can go on my fucking blessing.

Each of them wears a signet ring.

This is important.

I want all three rings

on a necklace

around my throat,

so everybody fucking knows who's in charge.

All three?

Like I said.

Bang, bang, bang.

Should be easy for a man of your abilities.

And before you fucking kill them,

I want to find out who's been helping them out.

15K each.

Five up front,

the rest when you finish the job.

Marky...

if my family goes down...

it won't be the only one.

Not interested, mate. Got enough dishcloths, thanks.

Come in.

- Funny. - Yeah.

Very funny.

Sit down, man. You want a cup of tea?

- Two or three sugars? - Yeah. Just make sure...

Yeah, I remember, stirring.

Oy, oy.

As I live and fucking breathe.

My old wingman.

I miss you, man.

Look, you know, for a long time I wanted to say...

Pete, it's okay. Time's done.

You know I got your back, right?

Yeah, I should hope so.

- Anything you need. - Yeah, yeah, you want a tissue?

It's changed a bit around here.

New business, Marky.

- Yeah? - Mm.

Well, if having to walk and then knock on your door

ten times a day means business.

Yeah, we had to reshape a few things

after Caddy threw his toys out the pram.

Fat, paranoid fucker.

Remember Big Rich?

Big Dick the bouncer?

Mm. So Caddy started getting some next information,

telling him Nicky's been fucking someone else on the border.

So he sends me and Big Rich in.

When we got here, we decided it was a one-man job,

so we flipped for it.

I waited in the car and kept dog.

Rich must have decided he was going to hide in the wardrobe,

let them do their thing,

then take them out after, when they're asleep.

Or maybe he was a pervert and wanted to watch.

I don't know.

What I do know is he didn't fucking kill him.

Right? I'm sat there, and I see her come running out,

clutching on to her clothes and bag,

trying to get her car keys out.

So I run over to where she's hysterical

and not making any sense.

I take her keys and put her in back of my car,

lock the door and take her up to the flat.

Big Rich is lying there

with a wardrobe over his broken neck.

Dumb cunt's done himself a wrong,

and was too big for the wardrobe

when he's come out blazing.

Fair dues, though. Still hit the bloke.

So, I follow the trail into the bathroom.

He's lying there.

Just looking at me.

Tea and binkies?

- Thanks. - Yeah.

Here you are, Marky.

Yes!

So, what's Caddy's problem with you, then?

Ah.

He calls me in the next morning,

says Nicky's claiming I tried to have my way with her.

- Took the other two out myself. - You what?

- Proper slapper. - Yeah, she just shifted the fact

she's been fucking someone else onto me.

Got him around her little finger.

Got inside his paranoid head.

Who's doing the work if you and Rich ain't?

- That little kid, Ted. - Yeah.

Horrible little fucker.

Declining standards.

He'd be happy you showed up.

When there's a war going on, you need good soldiers.

Hello.

I want you good boys to tell me about these.

Oh, mate, it's a fucking suicide mission.

Yeah, that's why I need your help.

Yeah.

This guy, Sadit,

he's a crazy bastard.

Cut a partner's tongue out for spitting on one of his girls.

Well, that's the rumor, anyway.

Yeah.

You still got a link with the chemist?

What do you need?

Cyanide would make my job a hell of a lot easier.

This is heavy, Marky.

That's why I'm here.

My name don't come up once.

Not fucking once. You hear?

Of course not.

What are you doing for Christmas?

No plans.

Yeah?

Then come for Christmas dinner.

A little thing we do. All the frills.

Yeah, frills on the frills.

I mean, that is, of course,

if you want to spend time with us outside of business.

Well, that depends...

on whether your turkey's going to be succulent or not.

Ooh!

- Succulent? - Yeah.

You know, moist and that.

Yeah, I know what succulent means, you pagan.

Of course it's going to be succulent.

Well, I'd better bring the cranberry sauce.

Just in case.

Praised Be.

It was good seeing you, man.

Later, Seamus.

See you later, Marky.

Have a good one.

How are the spots doing?

- Huh? - Spots?

Oh, shit.

Make sure you wait ten minutes.

My wife's out there.

But you did good.

I'll let Sadit know.

Fuck's sake!

Shit!

♪ We three kings ♪

♪ Of Orient are ♪

♪ Bearing gifts We traverse afar ♪

♪ Field and fountain ♪

♪ Moor and mountain ♪

♪ Following yonder star ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

Do you reckon the queen has turkey?

Yeah. She's got the biggest one out of all of them.

Stuffs it with diamonds and jewels.

Charles is the don of Christmas pudding, though.

- Pudding don? - In this apron.

Making custard.

Pudding prince.

Harry's on cranberry sauce.

- What, fresh? - No!

Last minute, from the garage.

Only place that's open.

- Who's this? - It's me.

Hello, sunshine.

Thought you weren't coming back.

- I'm not. - Are you calling me to tell me

you're not calling anymore?

I got a message for him.

Well, that was nice and quick.

Seems you aren't that rusty after all.

I never said I was.

Of course not. What's your message?

Wimpy, 8:00 a.m.

- Breakfast on you? - Yeah.

Of course it is.

- Mark? - Yeah?

Welcome back.

Now let me do all the talking.

You just wait for the order, yeah?

What the fuck is this?

Do you know who I am, you fucking moron?

Yes, Hassan.

Question is, do you know who I am?

A dead man walking when my brothers find you.

Better than a dead man kneeling.

They'll find you, you know.

Wherever you run.

Good.

It saves me looking, doesn't it?

Listen, whatever they're paying you,

whoever they are, yeah, we could double it.

Unfortunately, Caddy's offering

something a bit more important than money.

Caddy.

Shut it!

He's a drunken old man. Paranoid.

Is that why you took his coke?

Business is booming.

Why the fuck would we pull some low-level shit like that?

I swear.

Caddy's losing it.

Well, whatever he's paying,

yeah, we'll triple it.

- Why ain't you pulling? - Hang on a minute.

If they can triple it...

Yeah, man. Triple it, triple it.

Bleeding Brutus. Always just saying things.

Now, somebody helped you to try and kill Caddy. Who?

- I'm not trying to kill anyone. - You need to start talking.

I need some information.

Otherwise, it's out of my control.

I don't want to have to hurt you, but...

I'll prune you like a fucking rosebush.

It's just the littlest cuts that yield the best results.

Eyelids, fingers, tongue.

Just snip, snip, snip.

Okay! Okay! Okay!

Sick bastard.

Okay, okay.

I know some guys.

All right? They came down to his club.

Now, after the punters come out...

I followed him...

beat him up, told him to stay all clear.

It's just a bit of friendly business competition, yeah?

It's nothing Caddy hasn't done before, is it?

Huh?

Very good, Hassan.

Gee, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Who took the coke?

- What coke? - Who took the fucking coke?

I don't know, I swear!

I don't know what you're talking about.

Last chance.

Please.

No, no! Aah!

Aah!

Oh, you crazy motherfucker!

I'll cut you a deal.

Your life for one name.

The person who tried to kill Caddy, or his leak.

Take me... Take me to Sadit or Ola.

- They could help. - Hoping helped save their life,

but who's going to help save yours?

I'll do anything.

Give me a fucking name!

It wasn't us.

I don't know anything!

Well...

that's right.

No, no, no, no.

Some people want souvenirs.

The hit-and-disposal method.

That's why the van's good.

Do a job...

clear up the mess at the end.

The less people see, the better.

Like a dog poo bag.

Take it with you, dispose of it elsewhere.

How... How much do you want?

Name a price.

It's the same old script.

Same daytime show.

We all know how it ends, so why bother tuning in?

I can get you a million.

No questions asked.

I guarantee your safety.

Yeah.

Oh... oh, no.

You've got...

You've got the wrong...

Why don't you die with some fucking dignity.

Where you been? My beans have been getting cold.

Don't tell me I've been here twiddling my thumbs

and you've been here shopping for shoes.

I found a perfect gift for you.

- Where? - The sports club.

- Alone? - Yeah.

How'd you know where he was?

I done my homework.

Who's this?

The youngest one. Hassan.

But what is this?

It's Hassan's hand.

How the fuck am I supposed to know without a ring?

Who's this?

This could be fucking anybody.

Hang on.

Is that the left one?

I thought you said the left. Look, the wedding ring.

- I said the fucking signet ring. - On the left.

We were fucking sold the signet ones.

It's the signet I fucking wanted.

Why can't you identify him from the wedding ring?

What do you want to do? Ask his wife? Check with her?

"Is that Hassan's hand?"

He's the right guy, trust me.

Trust you? Fuck you.

This is supposed to be quick and clean.

Okay, so we got a problem.

What you got for me?

He said he was intimidating your punters, but no names.

Just says Ola or Sadit would know.

So someone who is possibly an Azzi

has told you something that I already fucking know.

You'd better get that ring back here sharpish,

because me and you can't afford a fuck out, Marky.

Be honest.

You think I'm just good for the dirty work, right?

Good? You got the wrong hand, Alan.

Not good, mate. Not good at all.

Hassan seemed to think it was a setup.

Yeah, of course he did.

It would be quite convenient, wouldn't we?

You just come back and all.

Let's not complicate things any more than they already are.

Let's just get the job done properly.

Excuse me?

Did you know you're on private land?

What you digging there?

Uh...

There's always going to be some breakage, Mark.

You know that.

We both know that.

- What took you? - Where's Caddy?

Oh, nice.

You drag me out of bed at the crack of dawn,

and that's the hello I get.

Never had you down

as someone who didn't know his left from right, Marky.

Just look in the box, Toni.

Christ. You could have just brought the ring.

What am I supposed to do with all these, put them on eBay?

Well, there can't be any question, now can there?

Well, what did Hassan tell you?

He said it wasn't them that hit you.

And after what I put him through,

if he knew anything, he would have said it.

- Who was it then? - Doesn't know.

Thinks Caddy's crazy. Losing the plot.

The less Caddy finds out, the more he imagines he sees.

You want to watch he doesn't start looking at your mistakes

like they're a plan against him.

When he starts suspecting those, it never ends well.

Now...

so we don't get off on the wrong foot

by getting the wrong fucking hand again,

go and get some sleep.

You look like shit.

Hey, wait, Jules.

Who the fuck is cousin Ted, Mark?

- He's no one. - Oh, well, he's someone,

because Daisy's mentioned him a few times already.

He's just someone I bumped into.

- If you've gone back to... - No, it's not like that.

I can explain.

Get in.

I get home and find money in an envelope.

Where the hell does it come from, Mark?

I just wanted to give you something before I left, Jules.

I might not be coming back.

What?

What do you mean, back? Might not be coming back?

Mark, what the hell does that mean?

Daddy!

Daisy.

But I can't get to sleep.

Daisy, listen to your mom, honey.

Can one of you come up and read me a story?

Yeah, I'll be up. You go up now and I'll be up...

No, I want Daddy to.

"And when the little mouse found the lion in the hunter's trap,

he used his little sharp teeth to gnaw through them.

And so the great lion was finally free."

I know you're trying, but you leave cash,

and I don't know who's going to come back looking for it.

I worked hard for it.

And sleeping in the van doesn't cost, does it?

It doesn't even look like you've been sleeping at all.

Look, hey, it's for the best.

I was going to give her a present as well.

If you want to give it to her, come here on Christmas Day.

It's better if I leave it here, just in case.

Just in case what, Mark? I suppose this means

you're not going to come to the nativity after all.

I suppose I have to break that news to her.

I forgot.

Look, just send me the details, yeah?

Can you just take it for now?

You either give it to her in person or not at all.

Your decision.

♪ Peel the potato Mash the potato ♪

♪ Boil the potato nice ♪

♪ Peel the potato Boil the potato ♪

♪ Mash the potato... ♪

♪ Peel the potato Mash the potato ♪

♪ Boil the potato ♪

♪ Mash the potato... ♪

Hey!

Yes, Marky with the rhythm section.

Okay, let's go.

♪ Peel the potato Boil the potato ♪

♪ Mash the potato... ♪

♪ Peel the potato Boil the potato ♪

♪ Mash the potato... ♪

- I don't know... - ♪ Peel the potato ♪

♪ Boil the potato Mash the potato... ♪

- Mush it out. - Nice.

And no man,

when he hath lighted a lamp, should cover it with a vessel

or hide it under the bed,

rather put it on a stand,

that they that enter may see the light.

- Amen. - Come on, Marky.

♪ Peel the potato Boil the potato ♪

♪ Mash the potato nice ♪

♪ Peel the potato Boil the potato ♪

♪ Mash the potato right ♪

- Mash it up. - Nice.

I've had Toni on the phone, Mark.

Yeah? Why's that?

You tell me.

I didn't mention you. You're safe.

Well, she's been asking about.

Said things hadn't been smooth.

Smooth?

The job's going fine, thanks.

Be careful, bruv. They got their eye on you.

What the fuck is this, bro?

We spoke about a raise, right? What is this?

Hey, don't fuck...

Get the fuck out of here, man.

Don't fuck around with me, you hear?

Get the fuck out of my house!

A bit easier than the hit game.

You think?

At least you get to work from home.

They come to you, but you still can't trust them.

The stuff these days is much stronger, Marky.

- Yeah? - Yes.

Loads of different types of green now.

Moon Cheese, Amnesia,

Euthanasia.

Sounds heavy.

Yeah, it is. Trust me.

Is that why you cover the flat with perfume all the time?

No, that's just Seamus Tindering his way around South London.

So, what about my stuff?

Wouldn't advise putting it behind your ears.

It's only a matter of time before they look for Hassan.

Is that how you use it?

You spray it, inject it, put it in your food.

We'll get this in easier than a burger.

I fucking love it.

This is fucking great.

I'll have a couple of dances, look for Sadit.

You see him go to the toilet, you follow.

One spray.

- One spray? - That's all we need.

Remember to wear the mask.

And if they frisk you and ask any questions,

you're just a painter and decorator.

And don't forget the ring.

Look, it's Ola.

Yeah.

Let's get him while we got the chance.

Hey. Sorry to disturb you, but...

Sorry, what's your name?

- Jenny. - Jenny. Perfect.

I'm from building maintenance.

I've just come to check your smoke alarms

and the vents in the kitchen.

It won't take a sec.

You want to check my vents?

Who is it?

It's building maintenance.

Well, tell them to fuck off!

Oh, sorry.

You're going to have to inspect my vents another time.

That's okay. Do you mind just signing this for me.

Just to, you know, say that I knocked on, and...

Stay the fuck quiet, or you die.

- Ola in there? - Yeah.

Don't say a fucking word.

How many?

Ola plus two?

I'm here for Ola.

But everyone dies unless you cooperate.

You understand?

Don't make a fucking squeak.

I'll be there, I promise.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Put my name down.

Yeah.

Great.

No, of course not.

Okay.

All right, text me.

Yes.

Talk later.

So?

What did he say?

Well, he wasn't that chatty.

So you just shot him?

Yeah.

So you didn't get anything?

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

- Don't shoot! - So...

It ain't what it looks like.

We're all innocent, eh, Nicky?

Every fucker's innocent.

He's blackmailing me. To run the clubs.

Blackmailing you with what?

I haven't always be faithful to Caddy.

No shit.

You want to end up like your mate.

I told him about the coke drops.

Gifts aplenty, Mark.

Getting quite good at this now.

Let's go back and get Sadit.

When Sadit finally turns up,

I'm going to spray the shit out of him.

For fuck's sake.

You need to be focused on this job,

not flirting with your fucking ex who can't stand you.

- What's your problem? - You not fully focused,

is my fucking problem.

You're going to get us all killed.

- Focus. - What are you talking about?

Your head's in two fucking places.

Fuck's sake.

Shit. Go, go, man.

All right, been here long?

Uh, no. Not long, no.

All right.

Just had a report of a break-in, you see.

Well, I ain't seen anything.

- You working around here? - Yeah.

Just painting the house around the corner.

Well, they're probably long gone,

but if you do see anything suspicious,

- then please let us know. - Yeah, will do.

This is a 2004 Ford Transit 260.

Short wheel base.

Yeah.

Thought so, yeah.

I traveled around Germany in one of these.

2006 World Cup. It was brilliant.

Didn't we go out in penalties?

Yeah, more about the road trip, really.

Went everywhere.

Kaiserslautern, Münsterland, Frankfurt.

- Yeah, all around Germany. - Yeah. Great times.

Yeah, solid as you like, aren't they, these?

Anyway, sorry to be a stickler,

but this is actually a resident parking zone.

Yeah, two old blokes had a bit of a dispute,

and now council are making everyone pay, so...

- Dog back there or something? - No, there's nothing back there.

Oh, it's some special paints.

They can pop when mixed. No worries.

Yeah. See, you can't have a dog back there, see?

No, if I had a dog it'd be up here with me, mate.

Honestly, it's the chemicals that can pop.

I am going to have to have a look in the back of the van.

Sure.

Yeah, come on. Yeah, you're all right.

Come on.

Alan. Alan.

What have you done, mate?

Oh, just drive the fucking van.

Fuck!

You're not happy, Mark, mate?

Fuck's sake. Fuck.

Killed Ola, got the ring.

Even found out who the leak was. I think they call that...

Well, I don't think there's a word for it,

but it's fucking good, yeah?

It's a good result, is what it is.

Have you forgot what we talked about?

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck.

You need to calm the fuck down.

I can only keep her safe if I know everything.

Oh, don't make out like you were in the dark.

You know exactly what happened there,

or did you forget?

Now, this is exactly what Caddy wants.

We're just ticking things off the list, mate.

And this one is just a Christmas bonus.

And you think they're going to believe us and not her?

I didn't sign up to this.

There's supposed to be three brothers,

and not policemen and lovers.

You're going to get us killed, mate.

Perhaps you should start doing the dirty work then.

Fuck.

What are you banging on the door for?

I just need you to hide something.

- Say what? - A girl.

A girl?

What are you up to, Marky? You dog.

Just for a night.

What...

- Who is it? - Please, Seamus.

Look, man, I'd like to help.

No, no, no. Mark, I want to help, but...

- Oh, fuck's sake, Mark. - Come on, help me with it.

Jeez, he's not going to be happy, man.

I mean, who is she?

The less you know, right?

You must be stupid or nuts if you think...

Look, I know it's a bit, but I can sort it.

Just, she just needs to stay for one day,

'cause I got the cop in the van.

- You what? - It was an accident.

Sort of. It wasn't meant to happen.

- You killed a copper? - No. My partner did.

Your partner? What is he, crazy?

I don't know anymore, to be honest.

Pete's gonna kill me for letting you bring this in here.

- Yes, Marky... - Shh!

What the fuck's going on?

- Who the fuck is this? - I told him.

- No, no. Shut up. - Look, it's just for one night.

- That's all, mate. - She's alive.

What?

She's alive in the bin.

- For one night, that's all. - At least not the copper, right?

What?

You kidnapped a policeman?

No. Dead. His partner killed him.

- Listen, man... - What the fuck are you doing?

She was there when he killed Ola, my partner...

This partner's going to get you killed, bruv.

You're my mate, but this shit costs.

You know how it goes.

The only money I've got is for my daughter, Pete.

Yeah, well, then get her to look after it, yeah?

- Go on, get out. - Okay, okay.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Yeah. Bring me five grand for my troubles.

Bloody hell. That thing's loud.

You know, a lot of guys are using Prius these days.

Run on electric, so you can roll up on a man

and they barely hear you.

Before bang, you blast them with a shotgun

and away you go.

Saving the planet at the same time.

I could do with one of those, actually.

- What, a shotgun? - No.

- I've got one for 500 quid. - No, it's okay.

Okay, 400 for you, my boy.

Toni, I mean a Prius.

I need some wheels, just for a night.

Oh, okay. Suit yourself.

It's a good shotgun, though.

Blast a guy's head clean off.

I don't doubt it.

Where's Caddy?

Why?

There's a bit of trouble, Toni.

- Load in the back? - Yeah.

And not the sort you wanted.

I see. Okay.

Ted, sort this scrap in the back shop, Ted.

I know it's bad breakage, Toni, but...

This puts me in a very unhealthy situation, Mark.

I just need a couple of hours and then I can sort this out.

Okay. Okay, let me see what I can do, all right?

Yeah, Roxy?

Toni.

You still got that Polo?

Yeah?

Okay, yeah.

I'll call you when he's on his way.

Sorted.

Wonderful. I needed this.

I just wanted Daisy and Jules secure.

You know?

Safe. Looked after.

What's she like?

Daisy?

Never known anything so pure, Toni.

She's an angel.

You'll get to spoil her when this is all wrapped up.

Not long now.

I'd die a happy man if I knew

she was going to be all right.

I'm sorry, Mark.

There's only so much I can do for you.

Long time, Marky.

Dave. Sam.

Looking well, Boj.

Cheers, Marky. Been doing some spin classes.

I like the pad, Marky.

I see you brought your toys with you from the loony bin.

In case the van breaks down, Caddy.

You've done better than I thought, Marky.

Yeah?

I didn't think you'd be up for it.

You still sent me anyway.

You got Toni to thank for that.

So who's this partner I'm hearing about?

You don't know him. It's just someone I met inside.

Has he got a name?

Alan.

And where's Alan?

He's gone.

Gone where?

I don't know.

Just let me finish the job.

Let you keep fucking it up?

Tell me,

when did killing people become so fucking hard, Marky?

Do you know who the biggest gang in London are?

Not us. Not the Azzis.

Not even Head Office.

It's the Metropolitan fucking Police, Marky.

And now one of their little fucking piggies gone AWOL,

do you think they'll be shaking down?

And you brought him here to my fucking garage!

I brought you onboard to make my life easier.

You don't know your fucking left from your right.

You don't know your ass from your elbow.

- You're a fucking joke, Mark. - I can fix it.

I don't think so, mate. No more last chances.

Shit-dick Azzi's gone underground.

You are staying with us till he pops his head up again.

In the meantime, you might remember

where you dropped your partner off.

Get him out of my sight.

Go, Rosie! Go, Rosie!

Go, Rosie! I love you, Rosie.

Ha, ha, ha.

Yay! Yay!

Rosie!

Always knew they'd cut their losses

once they'd used you.

I knew you'd be trouble.

Had to show your face, didn't you?

You stay away.

You wanted to have your cake and eat it, as usual.

You had to fuck it up, didn't you?

It was always going to end in tears, Mark.

You knew that, same way I did.

I'd have done a job like this back in the day

with my eyes closed.

I didn't need you. I didn't need anybody.

Oh, but you did need me, obviously.

Because here I am.

No more running, Mark.

And what exactly am I running from?

The truth.

Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about.

What's going on?

Open yourself up to the truth, Mark.

You'll feel 12 stone lighter.

You can't control everything, Mark.

Life's just not like that.

It's like the room we first met in, right?

Who are you?

Ha, ha, you know who I am, Mark.

Don't play that game with me.

You are not me.

Correct.

You are me.

Very, very different.

But you got me way fucking wrong

if you think I'm going to stand here

and watch you give up on us.

I got a daughter.

- Yeah. - What do we do?

You can't be around me.

That's why I've been telling you to go to Spain.

See us straight and get away from it all.

Safer for her.

For you.

For everyone.

Oy!

Oy!

What do you want, Marky?

I need a fucking toilet, mate.

Isn't there a bottle or something in there?

I need a toilet!

I need a fucking toilet!

All right!

Don't do anything stupid...

or I'm shooting you in the bollocks, okay?

Aah! Aah!

Stay the fuck down!

You know what?

I ain't got a problem with you. I just want my money.

So stay the fuck down, okay?

And you think Caddy will be fine with me letting you do that?

For brownie points.

Oh! Jesus!

Oh, my leg!

Marky, you wanker!

Oh!

You bastard!

I heard you was out.

How are you doing, Mark?

Little Dick.

Richard.

Big Rich's son?

Oh, yeah. Richard.

You're grown up, ain't you? Hey?

I was sorry to hear about your dad.

He was always straight with me. Decent.

Thanks, Mark.

- Is Caddy about? - Yeah.

Gone up.

Here you go. Buy yourself some fags.

Disappear for ten minutes, eh?

Go on.

I borrowed this, Toni.

I hope you don't mind.

He's like a fucking bad smell.

Hands up.

Get up. Now.

Over there.

Facing me.

Don't mind?

What's the code?

What?

- What's the code? - What code?

I'm way past the point

of worrying about pulling this trigger.

Give me the fucking code.

Only 66.

This is my money, Caddy.

Because I'm going to finish the job.

And then we'll be all square.

I'm going to do exactly what you asked,

which means Jules and Daisy stay safe.

I promised.

Sure.

That's if you can find Sadit.

Don't worry about that.

He's going to find me.

Hey, Santa's arrived.

Oh, what happened to you?

- Don't want to talk about it? - No.

Hiding any more girls in here? What's that?

Bloody hell, Mark.

This isn't that dodgy old thing

Toni's always trying to sell, is it?

- Just let me, Seamus. - What else you got?

What's in there?

Wow, now that really is dangerous.

Kill a dinner in an instant. You can keep that.

Hey, look who's turned up.

- And look what he's brought. - Bro.

The turkey's already dead, you know, Marky.

Hope you're hungry.

We've got a feast here could feed 5,000.

I'm hungry, yeah.

Nice one.

Ha! Joker.

Wasn't expecting you just yet.

Where is she?

Bedroom.

Oh!

Equal now, ain't we?

Just in time, Marky.

I was about to dish up.

What's going on?

Well, you know, smart as you think you are,

you were followed here by one of Sadit's lot.

We had no choice.

Could have got us all fucking killed, you know.

This looks cozy, Nicky.

Regular thing, is it?

So many questions, eh, Marky?

What is the answer?

We're making our money under Caddy.

You blame me for Big Rich.

Took me off a gig I worked 20 years loyal.

Started treating me like a maggot.

Making all sorts of accusations about me and Nicky.

It hurt, Marky.

- Shall we? - Yeah.

I thought it was Nicky making the accusations.

You know what I mean.

Pass the sprouts, Seamus.

Hmm, really?

Tastes like dog farts.

Don't you like dog farts?

That's funny.

Caddy only gave a fuck about his clubs and his girls.

I saw an opportunity.

To kill him?

To make money.

That's what this is, bruv.

We just trying to make our way.

A partnership with the Azzis?

So it was you who stole Caddy's coke.

Very clever, Marky.

Coke, crack, weed. Whatever.

Doesn't discriminate. Doesn't pick a side.

They thought we were involved in the Ola hit.

So we told them about you.

Took a lot to convince them, Marky.

Hell of a lot.

We promised Sadit a gift today.

He's on his way to collect.

Didn't think my turkey would be so succulent, did you, Marky?

- Here. - No.

- Have you even tried it? - No, fuck that.

I don't want jam on my meat, thanks.

God, you're fussy. You like anything on this table?

Yeah, I do vodka cranberry.

I just don't fancy it on my meat.

Come on.

Put a crack on me, Nicky.

Not unless you try the sauce.

Don't be a slapper and a bitch.

Come on, it's Christmas. Stop arguing.

All right, Dad.

Yes.

Piss.

Fucking fakes.

Well, I'm going to need a crown

if I'm going to continue, so thank you.

Fucking bitch.

Oh, yeah, you can't.

Come on, Nicky.

My name's Bitch.

No, it was a joke.

Try some of that sauce and I'll pull it.

Fucking bitch. Pete?

You know the rules.

Seriously?

The slapper ain't joking.

Yeah, it's rank. Happy now?

Try it on the meat.

Aye, aye, aye, aye.

Yeah, it's still rank. Happy now?

Pull that.

Thank you.

What are you laughing about?

Do you remember that day I got arrested, Nicky?

What? No, Mark.

Remind Nicky, would you, Pete?

- Hey? - Yeah.

The day you delivered our car late,

I ended up getting nicked.

Sad times. What about it?

Who were you fucking in the car that morning that made you late?

You don't have to answer that.

I knew it was you, Nicky, all along.

Why do you think I brought you here?

You think I trusted this pair or you?

I knew exactly what was happening with you and Pete.

You didn't come here by accident.

You think all this is fate?

It wasn't just about the money with the Azzis, was it?

You didn't just want what you felt you'd earned.

You wanted them and Caddy to go to war,

to clean each other out

until you were the last man standing.

Or should I say, woman.

Clever. Clever girl, ain't you, Nicky?

He played you like a fucking cello, Pete.

You were just waiting for Head Office

to hand over the keys, weren't you, Nicky?

Give a fuck who gets hurt in the process?

Oh, dear.

You three don't look too clever at all.

Maybe it's something you ate.

That crown worth it, was it?

Pete?

Marky?

Marky?

Right on time, just like you said.

Sadit didn't know what hit him.

Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

We did it.

Well, you still got them, Marky.

I'm surprised.

You earned yourself a Christmas bonus.

Well, here's to you, Marky. Merry Christ...

Fuck.

Oy.

No sleeping on the job.

Come on. Get up.

- I can't. - Yes, you can.

Get the fuck up.

Let's go.

Come on, ready? Ready.

Go.

Forget Spain, Marky.

I've got to get you to a hospital.

No hospitals.

- Julia, then? - No.

- They can't see me like this. - She could help.

We're going to the airport.

All right, but we're going to a hospital

as soon as we get there.

- Okay? - Sure.

You think Daisy will come and see us?

Maybe.

That'd be nice, eh?

Yeah.

Maybe she could bring some sausage rolls.

She could. She could.

Why, don't they have them over there?

Don't know, mate. I've never been.

I thought that's why you loved it so much.

Nah. Just seemed like a nice thought, you know?

Sit by the pool in the sun and chill.

You'd get one of them blow up alligators,

or one you can sit on, with a cup holder.

Right, that is the first thing I'm buying

as soon as I get there.

No fucking about, me.

You reckon the queen has been to Spain?

Yeah, of course she has. She loves it.

What? They got San Miguel's in with a cooked breakfast?

A bit sunburned because she over did it on the beach.

Buried Charles in the sand, isn't it?

Hang on.

Don't they have a King of Spain?

Yeah. I think they do, you know.

You reckon that's why she goes?

Dirty old bird.

She's having it with the king, isn't she?

Of course she is.

Everyone loves to get a bit on holiday, don't they?

Good on the girl.

If the queen can't get any, what hope the rest of us got?

Too right.

To my dear Daisy.

Here's your pony.

I'm sorry you can't have a real one,

but he loves you just as much.

I made it just for you,

to enjoy this Christmas

and many more.

"I look forward to you coming

and visiting me in Spain one day.

You and your mom.

But till then,

whenever you want to see me,

or if you start to miss me,

you just look up at that sun shining,

and I'll be looking at the very same thing,

because that's how close we are to one another

at all times.

I love you.

Always will.

Dad."

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

♪ My Amazon ♪

♪ Six-triggered bride ♪

♪ Now searching for ♪

♪ A place to hide ♪

♪ Still sees truth ♪

♪ Quite easily ♪

♪ Shrouds all else ♪

♪ In mystery ♪

♪ While madmen ♪

♪ In top hats and tails ♪

♪ Impale themselves On six-inch nails ♪

♪ And some Arabian also-ran ♪

♪ Impersonates a watering can ♪

♪ Some Santa Claus-like Face of nose ♪

♪ Entreats my ears ♪

♪ To set afloat ♪

♪ My feeble Sick and weary brain ♪

♪ And I am overcome ♪

♪ With shame ♪

♪ And hide inside My overcoat ♪

♪ And hurriedly Begin to quote ♪

♪ While some Arabian Sheik Most grand ♪

♪ Impersonates a hot-dog stand ♪