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1
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:06,088
- All righty.
- I got all our snacks.
2
00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:09,306
Hot wings, hot
Cheetos, hot pretzels,
3
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:14,407
and the latest
edition, hot beers.
4
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:17,019
Mm. Ugh.
5
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,320
That's the last time
I listen to Guy Fieri.
6
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,367
[doorbell rings]
7
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,111
Oh God, I've summoned him.
8
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,592
That's our Postrabbit.
9
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:27,642
I hired someone to pick
up our Game Station X.
10
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,249
- Freddie Benson?
- Yeah.
11
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,340
Postrabbit here. I have
your box from Blessed Buy.
12
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,899
Thanks so much.
13
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,765
I just got a Game Station, too.
14
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,167
Cool.
15
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:39,390
Hey, is this your phone
number on the order?
16
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,000
It is, why?
17
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,092
Oh, I just thought I could
maybe use it sometime for...
18
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:48,352
For what? Identity theft?
19
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:52,266
Please delete it. And
I'm giving you no stars.
20
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:53,663
Dude, what the hell?
21
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,655
That cute Postrabbit
was totally in to you.
22
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,877
- [scoffs]
- She just wanted a good tip.
23
00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,147
Here's a good tip.
24
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:02,369
You're going to die alone.
She wanted your number.
25
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,410
So did that Nigerian prince.
26
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:08,065
Oh, was he free
Friday for drinks?
27
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,721
We got to get you dating again.
28
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,065
[groans]
29
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:14,994
Who do I know who
loves a short king?
30
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,291
My friend Ramona.
31
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,987
- She's beautiful.
- Looks fade.
32
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,604
- She's spontaneous.
- I'm a planner.
33
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,124
She's a nuclear physicist.
34
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:24,078
Call her now!
35
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,695
♪ I know you see ♪
36
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,998
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
37
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:32,695
[together] ♪ And be so wonderful
38
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:36,664
♪ So wake up the
members of my nation ♪
39
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,395
[together] ♪ It's
your time to be
40
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:41,406
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
41
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,319
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side ♪
42
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:47,315
♪ Of every situation
43
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,018
♪ Some things are meant to be ♪
44
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:52,495
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me ♪
45
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,766
[upbeat music]
46
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,641
I know you have a work emergency
47
00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:59,292
but can't I just stay home?
48
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,246
You sure can, but
Grandma B is harvesting
49
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,685
our garlic kombucha so...
50
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,782
- Yeah, that 'bucha stink.
- Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:08,521
I guess hanging with
Carly is slightly better.
52
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,043
You'll have fun.
53
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,803
I like you hanging there
when your mom's out of town.
54
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:14,257
Carly and Harper are
strong, intelligent women.
55
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:18,268
They're good role models.
I love you. [Smooches]
56
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:20,402
Same.
57
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,584
Defense, defense!
58
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,270
Okay, well, that's
got to be illegal.
59
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,018
Both: Travel!
60
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:29,368
- Are you two watching sports?
- God, no.
61
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,850
It's our favorite reality show,
"The Real Widows of Wisconsin."
62
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,331
It's kind of like sports
except these ladies
63
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,072
throw shade, flip tables,
64
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,943
and normally don't
shower together.
65
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,675
Yeah, great role models.
66
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,077
And right now, they're fighting
67
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,400
about the big trip
of the season.
68
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:49,076
- Cincinnati.
- Ooh.
69
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:52,425
Countess Debra was 52
miles from diamond status
70
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:56,386
and couldn't use the lounge.
71
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,177
Both: Commercial break.
72
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,243
Would Freddie even let you
watch a show like this?
73
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,957
He doesn't need
to tell me not to.
74
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,307
I don't play in the gutter.
75
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,318
Oh hush, this show is
how Carly and I met.
76
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:08,841
I was working at Skybucks
77
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,894
giving my blazing
hot RWoww takes.
78
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:13,449
Which I agreed with 1,000% so...
79
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:14,927
When I went on my break,
80
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,650
we talked about the show
the entire time and that...
81
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,374
Was the foundation of
a lifelong friendship.
82
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,976
Harper was there for me during
the hardest time in my life.
83
00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,547
When Beau dumped you in front
of millions of subscribers?
84
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,245
No.
85
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,343
When I cut my own bangs.
86
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,393
And when I needed
a place to live
87
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:32,998
Carly said I should
move in here.
88
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:36,828
And I'm so glad she did
because now she's my BFSS,
89
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,308
Best Friend Since Sam.
90
00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:41,178
And she's my BFUMCER.
91
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:45,361
Best Friend Unless My
Cousin Ever Resurfaces.
92
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,724
At least you don't call
yourselves something dumb
93
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,398
like Carper.
94
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,485
Oh, my God that's even
better than Carhar.
95
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,324
We should get new mugs.
96
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,452
[upbeat music]
97
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:55,925
You know cheeses of the world
98
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:58,414
was the theme of my bat mitzvah.
99
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,805
- You're Jewish?
- No, I just wanted one.
100
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:04,199
- [notification chime]
- Oh, no.
101
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,334
What? I learned
Hebrew and everything.
102
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:07,856
Not that.
103
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:10,339
I just got an invite to
Seattle Fashion Fest.
104
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,560
Oh.
105
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,209
And it's addressed to me and Bo.
106
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,953
Oh.
107
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,563
And you know he's
going to be there.
108
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,484
Bo attends every
opening imaginable.
109
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:22,039
He'd attend a cesarean if
they had to step-and-repeat.
110
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:26,917
You're joking, but he had
one at his mom's funeral.
111
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,878
Which still seems better
112
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:32,971
than running into my ex
and his new girlfriend.
113
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:35,361
Yeah, but you know
what's better than that?
114
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:38,535
Crushing it in front of your
ex and his new girlfriend.
115
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,462
Also burritos.
116
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,628
Picture it.
117
00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:45,683
You, gorgeous
gown, hot blow out,
118
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,900
a tiny little clutch
119
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:49,508
that couldn't possibly
hold anything.
120
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,940
Cute earrings.
121
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,946
Although will you be able
to see them with a blowout?
122
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,706
Good point. You should
do a statement necklace.
123
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:59,520
Yes. Wait, this is fun.
124
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,080
Okay, let's do it.
125
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,087
I'll go to the event,
but only if you style me.
126
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,569
Really? Are you sure?
127
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,219
I mean you should be because
I'm amazing, but just checking.
128
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:10,014
Yeah, it's your
dream to be a stylist
129
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,218
and if I'm wearing
something you picked out,
130
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,854
it'll almost be like having
you right next to me.
131
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,048
So you in?
132
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,927
I have a million ideas already.
133
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:20,448
Great. I just have a
couple tiny requests.
134
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,104
Nothing too bright,
but not too somber,
135
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:25,187
love ruffles, hate frills,
classic, but daring.
136
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:27,327
Love sleeveless. Hate my elbows.
137
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,590
Can you do something about that?
138
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,463
My mom knows a doctor
in the Cayman Islands,
139
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,375
but he might not have a license.
140
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:40,595
So what do you think?
141
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:44,784
Rite Aid. $11.99.
142
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,222
You look like you're auditioning
143
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:49,168
- for a high school jazz band.
- Is that good?
144
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,568
Maybe Ramona likes jazz.
Should I write her a song?
145
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,622
Whoa, daddy-o. Let's not
get ahead of ourselves.
146
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,008
You haven't even met her yet.
147
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,245
Yeah, I know, but just
the fact that I'm excited
148
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,399
means that I'm ready, Spencer.
149
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:02,536
You have put the
ready back in Freddie.
150
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:07,319
You may be ready, but whoof,
have you seen those eyebrows?
151
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,735
You should go take
care of those bad boys.
152
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,539
- Okay, but this works though.
- I keep this.
153
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:13,327
I love it. Yep.
154
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,133
Problem. I showed Ramona
pictures of Freddie.
155
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,482
She doesn't want
to go out with him.
156
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,026
This could scar him forever.
157
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,643
Relax. It happens to everyone.
158
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,384
Else.
159
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,489
Just find him another date.
160
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,653
But then he'll know
she rejected him.
161
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,779
It'll crush him before he
even gets back out there.
162
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,742
It's got to be Ramona.
163
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:35,051
Unless it doesn't.
164
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,050
I've got an idea.
165
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,714
Oh, he's just not
going to tell us.
166
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,580
♪
167
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:48,411
- Keep your eyes closed.
- I have a surprise.
168
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:51,761
- Did you do the dishes?
- I said surprise, not miracle.
169
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,852
Now open.
170
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:56,761
It's our very own
styling station.
171
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,547
Harper, this is amazing.
172
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,392
- I know, right?
- I feel like a real stylist.
173
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,600
You are a real stylist.
174
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,599
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
175
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,211
Both: Outfit montage!
176
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,862
♪
177
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,866
It's hurting my retinas.
178
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:15,298
I feel like the lining of
a really expensive casket.
179
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,777
Too frilly.
180
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,217
Too silly.
181
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:19,613
Too racy.
182
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:20,876
Too spacey.
183
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,488
Too flirty.
184
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,577
Too birdy!
185
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,969
Harper, I feel like you're
not quite getting it.
186
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:31,412
- I thought we agreed.
- This is your moment to shine.
187
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,841
You need to be a trailblazer.
188
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:36,587
Totally. But like an
effortless trailblazer.
189
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:37,720
Like I just got out of bed
190
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:41,641
and was all "Oops, I
just blazed a trail."
191
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:42,742
Maybe I haven't
been clear enough
192
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,376
about what I'm looking for.
193
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:48,600
No, effortlessly trailblazing
could not be clearer.
194
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:51,652
I know. I'm sorry.
195
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:54,598
It's just the thought of going
out on the red carpet on my own
196
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,388
and seeing Bo and Lita.
197
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,889
It's just hard to choose
an outfit for an event
198
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,743
I'm not that excited to go to.
199
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:05,354
Ooh, maybe you just need
some arm candy of your own.
200
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,723
And I have the
perfect guy. Trenton.
201
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,787
And he is just your type.
202
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,576
- Okay, I'm in.
- Yeah!
203
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:14,761
Wait, is this another
one of your man-me-downs?
204
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:18,148
We... never.
205
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,803
Did we?
206
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:25,848
No. I'm 80% sure we didn't.
207
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,546
[scoffs] Fine.
208
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,994
This is why I got you those
color-coded Post-it notes.
209
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:31,641
Right, right.
210
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,612
[upbeat music]
211
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,958
- How much do I owe you?
- Nothing.
212
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,608
But I would accept your
phone number as a tip.
213
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,403
You're sweet, but a date
with me cost 500 an hour.
214
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,828
And I bet it is
worth every penny.
215
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,487
But yeah, I don't have
that so have a great day.
216
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,011
Excuse me. Hi.
217
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,837
Are you the lady
from the errand app?
218
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,123
If that's what you
want to call it.
219
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,797
Wow.
220
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,648
Are all the women that work for
your company are this gorgeous?
221
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,432
My friend hired someone to
pick up his package last night
222
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:05,586
and she was stunning.
223
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,682
We have all different
types working for us.
224
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:10,771
But we all know how
to handle a package.
225
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,641
That's great to hear.
226
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:18,431
So let me cut to the chase.
I'm pretty desperate.
227
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,120
Most of the guys
I work with are.
228
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,624
Then you'll have an
easy time with Freddie.
229
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,298
I just need you to have
coffee with him tonight.
230
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,866
Just coffee? That's it?
231
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,134
Yeah, but
232
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,096
I need you to pretend to
be a woman named Ramona.
233
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,794
- Is that weird?
- Ugh, honey,
234
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:32,702
For the rate you're paying,
235
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,526
I'll be whoever
you want me to be.
236
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,714
Let me just send you
the payment request.
237
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,359
And we're good to go.
[notification chimes]
238
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,797
- Ouch.
- That's a really high rate.
239
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:49,365
Well, we're the best at errands.
240
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,634
And done.
241
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,807
Okay, so my friend Ramona
is a nuclear physicist.
242
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:55,788
Would you be able to handle
that kind of backstory?
243
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,812
- Sure.
- And I own plenty of costumes.
244
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,208
Oh, nice. Are you an actress?
245
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:06,130
- Most of the time, yes.
- Unless the guy is really hot.
246
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:09,610
♪
247
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,832
- Everything looks so good.
- Really?
248
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,092
How can you tell?
There's no pictures.
249
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:19,226
Whoa, can you read minds?
250
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:22,930
- No, I can just read.
- [chuckles]
251
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,371
Harper said you
guys met at the gym.
252
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,889
Do you work out at
Purple Thesis too?
253
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:32,682
Yeah, I go Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.
254
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,759
But sometimes I go Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday,
255
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:38,898
Friday and Sunday,
because you know,
256
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,862
diversity.
257
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,042
Got it.
258
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,839
So have you decided on
what you're going to eat?
259
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,743
Uh, hello, there's no pictures.
260
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,999
Wow. You're really bad listener.
261
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:54,922
Harper said we'd be
perfect for each other.
262
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,958
I wonder what made
her think that.
263
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,754
Are you a Flat Earther too?
264
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:03,878
There are so few of us
who are enlightened.
265
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:08,104
No, but I wish I could fall
off the edge right now.
266
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:14,935
♪
267
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:18,548
- Hi. Are you Ramona?
- Yes. I'm Ramona.
268
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,200
Ramona, the nuclear
science person.
269
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:24,595
- Well, I am very nervous.
- I mean, that's not my name.
270
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,820
My name is nervous...
Freddie, that's my name.
271
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:31,730
Should I just go
home? [laughter]
272
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,388
Wait, are you laughing
with me or at me?
273
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:37,572
- The good one.
- Oh, phew.
274
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:41,269
Yeah, it's hard for me to tell.
I have an 11-year-old daughter.
275
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,959
Okay, Zaddy.
276
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,877
Well, I will look that up later.
277
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,031
Are you just coming from work?
278
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,965
No, I'm just getting
started for the night.
279
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:52,623
- What?
- I mean, yes.
280
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,668
I just came from the lab.
281
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,845
Did you know that
282
00:11:56,890 --> 00:12:00,370
the mitochondria is the
powerhouse of the cell?
283
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:04,025
Yes. And did you know that
some cells in multicellular
284
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:08,081
organisms don't have
mitochondria at all?
285
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,338
What am I talking about?
286
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,560
- Of course, you do.
- Of course, I do.
287
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,860
It's so nice to
just talk to you.
288
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:16,167
It has been so long since
I've been on a date.
289
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:21,043
It's been so long since I
actually talked on a date.
290
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:25,878
Oh, did you also know that
H2O is also actually water?
291
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:31,319
And did you also know that
H2O2 is also hydrogen peroxide?
292
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:35,359
- Of course, I did.
- I'm a science worker.
293
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:36,486
[chuckles]
294
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:39,278
God, I miss flirting!
295
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:42,673
♪
296
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,197
- It's been a rough week.
- I need a heavy pour.
297
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,034
Carly!
298
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:57,117
I've got it. A tux moment.
299
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,907
Powerful, androgynous, timeless,
300
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:03,963
very HBIC, Head Bitch In Charge.
301
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,310
That sounds a little severe.
302
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:10,090
How about more Fun
Bitch In Charge?
303
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:13,837
Fun Bitch In Charge In A Tux.
304
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,320
Love it so much.
305
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:21,020
But I was thinking
something totally different.
306
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,281
- Ta-da.
- That?
307
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:24,605
It looks like a
dress you would wear
308
00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,939
to an Air Force
father-daughter dance.
309
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:32,200
Wow. That's a very
specific and on-point read.
310
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,116
I just think maybe I'll
be more comfortable
311
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,601
and something I've worn before.
312
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,210
It's a red carpet.
313
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:41,911
You're not supposed
to be comfortable.
314
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:45,131
Okay, it was just a suggestion.
315
00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,742
And it's so helpful.
316
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:49,392
Because this is great practice
for when I'll have to deal
317
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:53,437
with difficult clients one
day. I better get to work.
318
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:04,799
- Don't worry.
- She's still my BFSSBSJBARN.
319
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:09,074
Best Friend Since Sam But She's
Just Being Annoying Right Now.
320
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:14,069
♪
321
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:16,294
Ugh!
322
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:19,953
- Hey! So how did the date go?
- I don't want to oversell it.
323
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,559
But that was the best date
324
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,130
that I or anyone else
has ever been on.
325
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,429
- Yes!
- Whoo!
326
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,605
And now that you've got
one date under your belt,
327
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,001
there are plenty more dates
328
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,499
right around the corner
with other ladies.
329
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:33,936
There are definitely
more dates coming up
330
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,440
but not with other girls.
331
00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:39,143
I asked Ramona to go
out again. She said yes.
332
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:40,922
[notification chimes]
333
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:44,927
- For tomorrow at 8:00 p.m.?
- Yeah. Wait, how did you know?
334
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,101
- Just a lucky guess.
- [chuckles]
335
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,254
I think Ramona is very special.
336
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:50,928
I want to take this
really, really slowly.
337
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,497
Yeah, but not too slowly.
338
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:55,813
I mean, dating can be really,
really expensive these days.
339
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,461
True, but she's worth it.
340
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:59,415
Now that I have Ramona,
I can do all the things
341
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:02,643
that I've been wanting
to do for so long.
342
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:05,644
[big band music]
343
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,117
♪
344
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,817
[notification chimes]
345
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,214
Dang it!
346
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,647
♪
347
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:13,834
[notification chimes]
348
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,649
Son of a!
349
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,137
♪
350
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,749
[notification chimes]
351
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:22,359
Obscenity!
352
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,179
♪
353
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:27,797
[indistinct chatter on TV]
354
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:32,109
I hate clothes.
355
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,718
Shh! "RWoww" just started.
356
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:38,238
And thanks you boomers,
I'm emotionally invested.
357
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:41,325
- Ugh!
- The red carpet is tomorrow.
358
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,895
Why is every dress
here just wrong?
359
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,033
At some point, maybe you
just have to blame the model.
360
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:52,211
Carly! It finally happened.
361
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,995
Your cousin resurfaced?
362
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,740
No, I got an outfit that
you are going to love.
363
00:15:57,782 --> 00:16:01,402
But that does remind me I
should check in with my PI.
364
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:05,788
Oh, another outfit, hooray.
365
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,534
It's perfection
and all it took was
366
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,796
some creative thinking,
a couple of sketches,
367
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,709
and Spencer's credit
card ending with 6821.
368
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:16,665
I got real lucky with
that security code.
369
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:20,284
I'd love to try it on
but "RWoww" just started.
370
00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:23,417
Carly, is everything okay?
371
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:26,160
No, I'm stuck in a dress.
372
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:28,032
- Whoa!
- Cynthia Morgan just called off
373
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:33,344
her wedding to
Mauricio Vandercliff!
374
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:37,173
- How could this be happening?
- Good for her.
375
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,433
Good? I thought we agreed
376
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:42,036
that Mauricio was
perfect for Cynthia.
377
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:46,308
- Things change.
- And Mauricio is way better off.
378
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,093
How do you know what's
best for Mauricio?
379
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:50,307
Oh, she did not just go there.
380
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:52,097
You have no idea
what's happening
381
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,191
in the Mauricio's head.
382
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,059
He's got a lot
going on right now.
383
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,671
He just got broken up with
384
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,191
and now he's launching
his new channel
385
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,934
and trying to pick this
dress for Fashion Fest!
386
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:05,196
Well, it would be a lot
easier to help Mauricio
387
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:08,241
if he didn't have his head
so far up his own dress.
388
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:12,068
Yes! Fill that tea!
389
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,208
Look I'm doing the best I can.
390
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:16,951
But you're just not
listening to me.
391
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,862
I'm trying to listen.
392
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:21,777
I've worked really hard on
this so can you just trust me?
393
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:25,313
- Oh, like I did with Trenton?
- You said he was just my type.
394
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,738
- What are you talking about?
- He was smoking.
395
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,745
Yeah, but that was just
his last two brain cells
396
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,567
rubbing together.
397
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:36,395
- Fine. You do what you want.
- Great. I'm going to my room.
398
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:42,802
Which I can't even get to
because of all these dresses.
399
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:46,374
- Table flip!
- I have to return those!
400
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:48,593
Go ahead because I'm
not wearing any of them.
401
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:52,722
- I'm not going anymore.
- Oh, can you two keep it down?
402
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:57,417
I'm trying to watch
this epic fight.
403
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,737
[upbeat music]
404
00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:07,039
♪
405
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,256
[sighs]
406
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,349
[sighs]
407
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:19,966
I'm sad.
408
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:23,621
- Heard you the whole time.
- What's up?
409
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:24,967
Harper and I had a fight.
410
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,236
- I'm sorry.
- Is Carper breaking up?
411
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:31,070
Look out world.
Spencely is back!
412
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,200
Just this whole styling
thing's been really tense.
413
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,073
And then she set me up
with a guy who she said
414
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,415
would be perfect for
me. And he was so dumb.
415
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:43,726
- He hot though?
- Stupid hot.
416
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:46,264
- Yeah, that's your type.
- Are you calling me shallow?
417
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:48,479
No, I'm calling you consistent.
418
00:18:48,518 --> 00:18:50,778
Think back on all the guys
you've dated over the years.
419
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:53,385
Gorgeous dum-dums. Himbos!
420
00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:58,006
Pretty in the face-a.
Empty in la cabeza.
421
00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:01,749
Wow, that is my type.
422
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,192
Damn it, Harper was
right about the guy.
423
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,360
She was probably right
about the dress too.
424
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:09,666
Should I wear a bird?
425
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,323
I feel like I'm
missing something here.
426
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:14,237
- No, I am.
- I'm missing this event.
427
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,243
And Harper is missing a
big styling opportunity
428
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,975
and a bunch of publicity.
What should I do?
429
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:22,377
- Go make it up to her.
- Go Carly, go! Come on!
430
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,212
Not till you give me
advice! I need your advice!
431
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,691
Okay, I hired an
actress off Postrabbit
432
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,431
to ease Freddie back
into dating, but...
433
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,872
Postrabbit?
434
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:34,958
Spencer, this is EagerBunny.
It's for hiring sex workers.
435
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:37,699
My friend Anna put herself
through law school on that app.
436
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:42,401
- So she's not... oh.
- But there was a charge... oh.
437
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:46,272
And the costume, yeah.
What am I going to do?
438
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,705
Just be honest with Freddie.
439
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:49,338
He'll understand you
were just trying to help.
440
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,152
Or I could get him
a celebrity apology
441
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,540
from ContritionPigeon.
442
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:56,592
Or you can just report
your credit card as stolen.
443
00:19:56,630 --> 00:20:00,240
But not the one ending in 6821.
444
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:06,206
♪
445
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,508
Hey, Melissa, have
you seen your dad?
446
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:10,945
He went to go see his
new lady friend Ramona.
447
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:15,692
Damn it. Oh, that'll cost me.
448
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,996
Oh, hey, man, listen,
we have to talk.
449
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,612
Can it wait? I'm a bit bummed.
450
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,263
I just ended things with Ramona.
451
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,697
Oh, thank God.
452
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:27,444
That you had the courage
to let her down gently.
453
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,007
I'm sorry Millicent,
454
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:30,640
but I just dumped your
future stepmother.
455
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:31,844
Never met this woman.
456
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:35,022
Thought the photos
were only okay.
457
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,189
It was great getting to
know her, but I don't know.
458
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,406
- There's just no spark.
- [scoffs] No spark?
459
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,416
Was expecting a damn
rocket launched to Mars
460
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,328
after all that
461
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,853
romance and listening.
462
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,327
Look, don't get me wrong.
463
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:51,157
I love a woman with a career
but she kept leaving our date
464
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:55,426
so abruptly for "nuclear
physicist emergencies."
465
00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:57,871
And always right on the hour.
466
00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:00,868
But hey, even though it
didn't work out with Ramona,
467
00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:03,651
the ready is still in Freddie.
468
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:06,307
We got to get you
a new catchphrase.
469
00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:10,723
What's everyone doing
in my apartment?
470
00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,508
I was here trying to get
some peace and quiet after
471
00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:17,192
Carly left for Fashion Fest.
But clearly that plan failed.
472
00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:19,412
- She actually went?
- What did she wear?
473
00:21:19,452 --> 00:21:22,802
I don't know. All I saw
was those jacked up elbows.
474
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:26,722
Carly!
475
00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:33,733
♪
476
00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:36,080
- Carly! Wait, wait!
- Harper!
477
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,560
Okay, before you say anything,
I just have to say I'm sorry.
478
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:40,471
- I'm sorry too but...
- No, it's okay.
479
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:41,596
You're brilliant.
480
00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:44,348
You used my old dress
and I feel so confident.
481
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:45,700
You can't go out there in this.
482
00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:47,179
What? What do you mean?
483
00:21:47,218 --> 00:21:48,413
I was just about
to [fabric rips]
484
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:49,917
[gasps] Oh, my God.
485
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,440
We never did a fitting.
486
00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:53,444
These are all just
temporary stitches.
487
00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:55,396
Oh no, what am I going to do?
488
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:58,674
Don't worry, I got you.
489
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,941
So are we good?
490
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:10,718
I mean, I did flip a table.
491
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:15,514
- Can I be honest with you?
- It was iconic.
492
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:18,551
Even though I was so angry,
I was secretly living for it.
493
00:22:18,598 --> 00:22:20,858
[shutters clicking]
494
00:22:20,904 --> 00:22:24,784
Same. I just wish you'd
thrown a drink in my face.
495
00:22:24,821 --> 00:22:27,081
Ooh, we'll save that
for our next fight.
496
00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:29,997
[fabric rips]
497
00:22:33,090 --> 00:22:35,350
By the way, you were so right.
498
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:38,047
My type is totally hot and dumb.
499
00:22:38,095 --> 00:22:40,835
What a revelation.
Do I need therapy?
500
00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:42,671
No, I'm good.
501
00:22:42,709 --> 00:22:44,359
[fabric rips]
502
00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:47,763
Promise me you'll never let go.
503
00:22:47,801 --> 00:22:50,981
I'll never let go Carly,
I'll never let go.
504
00:22:52,893 --> 00:22:54,423
[fabric rips]
505
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,897
No sudden moves.
506
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:03,774
- We live here now.
- Okay.
507
00:23:03,817 --> 00:23:07,517
♪
508
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:12,220
Hey Harper, it's me,
Countess Debra, duh.
509
00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:16,350
This is your ContritionPigeon
from your friend Carly.
510
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:21,265
She wants me to let you know
that you are so talented.
511
00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:24,052
That outfit you put together
512
00:23:24,098 --> 00:23:27,318
was effortlessly trailblazing.
513
00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:32,592
It was so Fun Bitch In Charge.
514
00:23:32,628 --> 00:23:36,628
Also, please forgive Carly
for being so difficult
515
00:23:36,676 --> 00:23:39,066
but also, like, you are
no cakewalk, either.
516
00:23:39,113 --> 00:23:41,553
Irregardless,
please forgive her.
517
00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:43,684
Just like I forgave
my dead husband,
518
00:23:43,726 --> 00:23:46,596
who I miss so much
519
00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:48,692
and I definitely didn't kill
520
00:23:48,731 --> 00:23:51,781
to get on "The Real
Widows Of Wisconsin."
521
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,520
In conclusion
522
00:23:55,564 --> 00:23:57,264
feminism.
523
00:23:57,305 --> 00:24:00,475
Like I always say,
money isn't a thing,
524
00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:03,396
it's everything!
525
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:06,012
Bye.
526
00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:07,973
Both: It's everything!
527
00:24:08,011 --> 00:24:09,491
♪
38760
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