All language subtitles for The.Reluctant.Astronaut.1967.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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(RADIO FREQUENCIES HUMMING)

Gemini to ground control.
Reading you loud and clear.

Liftoff smooth.
Ready for checklist.

Fuel is go.

Oxygen is go.
Telemetry is go.

All systems go.

Thank you. Thank you.

(CALLIOPE PLAYS)

(ALARM BEEPING)
Control! Control!

I have a red
on meteorite warning.

Meteorite warning!

(MUFFLED)
Meteorites!

We are now passing
through a meteorite field.
(BEEPING CONTINUES)

You will undoubtedly hear
small meteorites peppering
the outer skin of the capsule.

Small meteorites are peppering
the outer skin of the capsule!

Meteorites!
Meteorites!

(PEBBLES CLATTERING)

Meteorite light off.
Nothing to be
afraid of, kids.

We are now passing over
the Hawaiian Islands.

Our flight plan will carry us
to the recovery area

100 miles southeast
of the Bahamas.

We are starting our
retrorocket countdown.

Five, four,

three, two, one.

Firing retrorockets.
(SWITCH CLICKS)

(ENGINES BLASTING
OVER SPEAKER)

We will be touching down
in 20 minutes.

I have to go
to the bathroom.
We have just touched down.

Everybody out.
Mary first.

Come on, Mary.
Go right out here.

Come on, Mary.
Bye, Mr. Spaceman.

Okay, bye.

Bye, Mr. Spaceman.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
He can't stand heights.

Oh, that was so fun.

I enjoyed the ride,
Mr. Spaceman.

Ned!

You got me?
Gotcha. Gotcha.

Easy. Easy.
Steady now.

One more step.

Attaboy. Now.
You're on the ground.

(EXHALES)

I'll be back
in a minute, Ned.

Bye. And thank you,
Mr. Spaceman.

Oh, anytime, honey.
(CHUCKLES)

Hi, Ellie.
(CHUCKLES)
Hi, Roy. How's it goin'?

Oh, I had to cut
the orbit short.
Personnel problem.

I know. I helped her
with her buttons.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, well.

How's everything
in the soft drink game?

Fine.
Oh, that's cold.

Cold hands, warm heart.
(CHUCKLES)

You know, you...
You're lookin' mighty
pretty today, Ellie.

Thank you, Roy.

Beauty is
as beauty does.

You got that look
in your eye again.
What look?

That crazy
basset hound look.

Well, flattery will
get you everywhere.
(LAUGHS)

Oh, Roy.

Guess what, Ellie.
Hmm?

A bunch of us were standin'
around on the corner

in front of the drugstore
last night.

And guess what.
What?

Well, a lot of 'em
were sayin'

that it's gettin'
kinda obvious that, uh,

I got a crush on you.

Oh, Roy, would you hand me
that scouring pad, please?

Sigmund Crane said I'd crawl
a mile over broken glass

just to get a kiss from you.

Sigmund Crane
drinks too much.

Well, even so,

"I think that
I shall never see...

"a poem so lovely as a tree,
a tree that..."

Roy, when you're trying
to be romantic,

you don't recite poems
about trees.

Excuse me while
I throw out the trash.

Scouring pad.

To each his own.

Got another load, Roy.

Smart aleck.

Oh, listen, Ellie,
I gotta go.

Will you please go out
with me tonight?

I can't really, Roy.
Come on. I've been
askin' you for months.

Well, I...
It's Saturday night, Ellie.

We'll make a big evening
out of it.

First, we have dinner
right here.

Then we take
a little walk
through the park.

And then over to your place
and watch that George Raft
movie on television.

NED: Let's go, Roy!
What do you say, Ellie?
It's Saturday night.

I've gotta stay late tonight
and take inventory.
I'll come by here.

All right, Roy.

Until tonight, chérie.

(SCATTING)

Everything A-okay, crew?
ALL: Yes, Mr. Spaceman.

Okay, board the spacecraft.
Be careful.

Roy! Roy!
You're wanted
on the telephone.

I'll be right back, Ned.

It's your mother.
She sounds excited.

Hello? Hello!
(CHUCKLING)

Hello. Ma?
Yeah, well...

Right away?
I'm right in the middle...

Well, wha... Okay,
I'll be home right away.

Yeah, bye. Bye.

I'll see you later,
Ellie.

I gotta get home right away.
Take over, will you, Ned?

Check.

(ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

Oh, Suzie!

(BRAKES SCREECH)

Oh, Royal!

Oh, Royal, your father has
really done it this time.

What'd he do, Ma?
Roy, sit down.

You better brace yourself.
What? What is it?

You remember when your father
sent that application in
to the government?

You mean the one for me
to be an astronaut?

Oh, Ma, we don't have
to worry about that.

We have to worry
about it now, Roy, because
they have accepted you.

What?
It says so right there.

It says that they have
accepted you as a W.B. 1074.

Your father
took one look at that,
and then he ran outdoors,

and he's telling everybody
in town about it.

An astronaut?

Me, an astronaut?

I can't even
get up on the chair
to get the marmalade.

Oh, my poor boy.

Why is Pa always tryin'
to run my life?

Well, after all, he was
a corporal in World War I,

and you know
how bossy they were.

But, Ma, that war's
been over for ages.
Not to your father.

He loves that war
just as much today
as he did then.

An astronaut?

Me? An astronaut?

Oh, I should've studied up
more on fear of heights and
things when you were young.

I'm so tired of Pa thinkin'
he's still in the army
and ordering me around.

Burt Lancaster was terribly
afraid of the water.

And today, he is a movie star.

Look, Ma,
I'm 35 years old!

Okay, so I do live at home.
I still don't have to do
everything he tells me.

Burt was the most
unforgettable character
that month.

Well, I'll tell you
something right now, Ma.
I've had it!

H-A-D, had it!

And the minute
he comes in that door,

I'm gonna tell him,
"No soap! I'm not goin'!"

Hi, Mother. Roy!

Roy! Roy! Roy.

Roy, you made it, boy!
You made it!

My boy, an astronaut.

Hey, the whole town
knows it, Roy.

Your name is on every
tongue in town.

They're all sayin' it.
"Buck Fleming's boy,
astronaut!"

Royal has something
to tell you, Arbuckle.

Oh, yeah,
that's right, Pa. I do.
Well, shoot.

Well, maybe
you better sit down.

Ah. Go ahead, Roy.
Get it off your chest.

(CHUCKLING)
Well, Pa...

You know,
I stopped by the paper.
Gave them the whole story.

Pa, you're not listenin'.
Huh?

I hate to tell you this,
but most of the time
when I talk to you,

you don't listen.
I don't listen?

You got something you
wanna tell me right now?
Yeah, I have!

Well, go ahead.
I'm listenin'
to every word.

Well, okay, now,
it's like this.

Now, it isn't because
I don't love you,
because I do.

You heard that, Mother?

And that's what makes it
all the harder to tell you.

Now, you see,
I'm not really cut out
for this astronaut thing.

Because in the first place,
I've always had a fear
of heights.

And to tell you the truth,
I don't think you've ever
even been aware of that.

The boy loves his father.
You heard him say that,
didn't you, Mother?

Yes, I did, Arbuckle.

Mother, please!

Pa, I know
how proud you are,

and I know what
all this means...
(PHONE RINGS)

Hello! Plank?

Plank. Plank.
Yeah, isn't that
somethin'?

My boy, an astronaut.
Yeah, he leaves tomorrow.

Hey, why don't you
come over after supper?
We'll celebrate. Right.

That was Plank Woodman.
He's comin' over later.

We'll have a little nip
and we'll celebrate.

Well, let me say
what I have to say!
Say away, boy.

Well...
(RINGS)

Hello. Rush. Rush!

Yeah, isn't he somethin'?
Well, he's right here now.

We're havin' a real
heart-to-heart talk.

Rush says "Congrats."

(CHUCKLES) Right.

Why don't you
come over later?
We'll celebrate.

Right.
Go ahead, boy.

Now, look, Pa,

I think it's time
we faced the fact
that I'm 35 years old

and I have a say
in my own life!
(PHONE RINGS)

Hello! Uh
It's for you,
Mother.

Mother, for Pete's sake,
is that all you do?
Talk on the phone?

Now, doggone it, Pa! I can
never say what I wanna say!
Now, Roy...

No, now I'm gonna say it!
You are getting all keyed up.
You need a little nap.

No, I don't need a nap!
Ten-hut!

Right face!
Forward march!

Hut, two, three, four!
Column, left, march!

Pa, I'm 35 years old.

(SINGING)Oh, I met a girl
In gay Paris
Parlez-vous

I met a girl in gay Paris
Parlez-vous

I met a girl in gay Paris

Oh, what a mess
She made of me

Inky, dinky parlez-vous

And the soldier boys
went over the top
Parlez-vous

The soldier boys
went over the top
Parlez-vous

The soldier boys
Went over the top

They thought the captain
Would never say stop

Inky, dinky parlez-vous

The colonel got
The Croix de Guerre

There's our boy!

Hi, Pa.
Come on in
and see the boys.

I got a date, Pa.
Come on. Come on.

Roy! Roy!
Roy!

Congratulations.
A-Okay there.

The boy's got a date.
Who's the lucky Jane?

Oh, Ellie Jackson.
The hot dog girl, huh?

Say, she's quite a dish.
Too bad you didn't come in
for a haircut, Roy.

I've been kinda busy, Bert.
We're so doggone
proud of you.

You should be.
Roy, do us
a countdown.

Huh?
Do us
a countdown!

Come on, Roy.
Just this once.
Come on. Come on.

Please, Roy,
just one time.
Yeah!

(CHUCKLING) Well...

Five, four,
three, two, one.

(IMITATES BLASTOFF)
Aw, terrific!

A toast!
You do the honors, Rush.

Give us one
of your good ones, Rush.

To Roy Fleming,
a credit to his town,

to his father,
to his nation...

And now
the entire universe!

Hear, hear.

Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.

(BOTTLE SHATTERS)

(CLINKS)

(SHATTERS)

(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, I...

I guess I better be goin'.

I can't keep
the little lady waitin'.
(ALL CHUCKLING)

Kiss the girls
and make 'em cry, boy.
Love 'em and leave 'em, Roy.

Bye. Don't worry.
Roy! Boys.

To the next man to die.

Hi, Ellie.
Roy.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

Oh, I forgot
all about you.

My mother called, and
I think she's got the flu.
I'm gonna have to rush home.

Oh, that's a shame.

Have you heard?
Heard what?

Oh. What time does
the drugstore close?

Oh, 7:00 or 8:00
or around there.

But you mean
you really haven't heard?

I can't understand that.
It's all over town.
What a day. What a day.

See,
what happened was,

my father sent in
this application for me
about a month ago...

Tell me about it
tomorrow, please.
I'm in an awfully big hurry.

Well, there won't be
any tomorrow, Ellie.
I'm sorry about the date.

Yeah, but, Ellie,
you see...

Ellie, I'm gonna be
an astronaut!

I'm gonna be an astronaut.

You got
your ticket, Roy?
Yeah, Ma.

I got it right here.
I've never been out
to the airport before.

This is all new
in through here.

Yeah, it seems like
only yesterday,

this was all beets
as far as the eye
could see.

You got your ticket
now, Roy?
Yeah, Pa.

I got it right there.

A-Okay there.
(CHUCKLES) Well...

MAN: (ON P.A) Missouri
Trunk Lines super deluxe
twin engine Flight number 1...

(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

Well, that's me.
Got your ticket, Roy?

Yeah, got it
right here.
Roy.

Now boarding at Gate number 1.
Passengers all aboard, please.

Over the top.
Right, Pa.

(BLOWING NOSE, SNIFFLING)

Well, goodbye,
everybody.

You got your ticket?
Yeah.

I don't have
my ticket.
Haven't got your ticket?

Oh, here
Here it is.

Oh. I was kinda
hopin' it was lost.

Well, maybe
you can tell the pilot
not to drive too high.

Well, bye, Ma.

Roy. Oh!

Ellie!

I almost didn't make it.
I just heard about it
this morning.

Oh, well, I tried
to tell you last night.

I realize that now,
and I'm sorry, Roy.
Heck, that's all right.

I mean, listen
(ON P.A)
Flight number 1.

Passengers all aboard,
please.

All aboard.
Well, I guess
I gotta go now.

I-I'm... Well, it was
real swell of you
to come out, Ellie.

Will you write to me?
Oh, yeah, sure will.
Yeah, I'll do that.

(CHUCKLES)
Well, bye, everybody.

Bye, Roy.

(ENGINES WHIRRING)

(ENGINES STARTING)

(ROARING)

He's a real Fleming,
Mother.

(SOBBING)

(PLANE DEPARTING)

Give you a lift?
Oh, sure.
Thanks.

Hop in.

Fred Gifford.
Where are you headed?
Roy Fleming. Personnel office.

I gotta go up there
and check in.
I've been on a bus since...

Fred Gifford?
(CHUCKLES)
That's right.

Hey, Fred Gifford!

Boy, I saw your flight
on Channel 11 last week.

They wouldn't let you stay up
two more orbits, would they?

Well, you know,
orders are orders.

(CHUCKLES)
Fred Gifford.

Boy, you're one
of those guys that's been
right up there into space.

And I'm sittin' right
on the same seat with you.
(CHUCKLING)

Mind if I touch you?
(CHUCKLES)

You're gonna be working
at the space center, huh?
Yeah.

You mind if I ask you
a couple of questions?
No. Go right ahead.

Well, when you shoot off,
do you faint or black out
or anything?

Oh, no, no. You take
a couple of G's, but not
enough to make you faint.

Oh, it sounds awful.

About how high in the sky
do you drive that thing?

Anywhere from 90
to a couple hundred miles.

I bet you wouldn't look down
for a million dollars.

Oh, sure.
It's a beautiful sight.

You'd never get me
to look down.

I don't care
how darn beautiful it is.

Reentry's what's rough.
Suddenly, you just start
to drop there.

And you're sitting
backwards, of course,

wondering
if that drogue chute
is ever gonna open.

You're falling and...
Falling and falling.

That's enough.
Don't say any more.

Makes me dizzy
just to think about it.

That's the personnel
office over there.
Oh, well, thanks a lot.

By the way, what you
gonna be doing here?
I'm gonna be an astronaut.

Yes, sir?
(CLEARS THROAT) I'd like
a cup of coffee, please.

Is that all
you're having?

Well, see, I'm gonna
go into the astronaut
training program,

and I'm not really sure
what I'm supposed to eat yet.

WOMAN: (ON P.A.)Attention.

Will all astronauts report
immediately to Building 9G.

Oh.

Oop. (CHUCKLES)

I have to go.

Oh, where's Building 9G?
Down the walk out front.

Cut through the docking
simulator building,
then right.

You can't miss it.

(AIR RUSHING)

(WHOOSHING)

(PANTING)

Oh, uh...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Those are my, uh,
S-H-O-R-T-S.

See, what happened was
I was, uh, going down
the hall there, and I, uh...

I'm a new astronaut,
and I was looking
for Building 9G.

All new personnel report
to the personnel office.
The loudspeaker...

Are you new here?
Very.

All new personnel report
to the personnel office.

But they said...
The personnel office.

The personnel office.
Thank you. Mmm-hmm.

MAN: (ON P.A)Roy Fleming
to the desk, please.

Roy Fleming, please.

I'm Roy Fleming.

Donelli.
(CLEARS THROAT)

Your man Fleming,
Donelli.

You'll go
with Mr. Donelli.
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, I had a little trouble
with my underwear.

I mean, the bag,
over in the...

Follow me!
Mmm-hmm.

Captain.
Donelli.

Fleming!

Gee, Mr. Donelli, I don't
think I'd ever be able to
do anything like that.

Don't worry.
You'll never have to.

This is your locker.
Oh, yeah.
"Fleming."

Right.
Here you are.

Now, in the mornings,
you sweep all locker area
and boiler room.

In the afternoons,
you wet down and mop.

Now, the tops of the lockers
should be kept clean
at all times.

They'll be inspected
by me personally
daily at 1700 hours.

Now, in the morning...
Excuse me, sir. Uh...

Is this all sort of like
a part of a training program?

What training program?
You know...
(WHOOSHES) Space.

This is your space
from there to there.

And I expect you
to keep it clean,
Fleming.

Now, then...
You mean, I'm a...
I'm a janitor?

(LAUGHING)
Why, of course not.

My boy, you are a W.B. 1074
apprentice janitor.

I expect you here
every morning
at 8:00 sharp.

(CHUCKLING)
A janitor.

I'm a janitor!
(LAUGHING)

A janitor.

Oh, Pa.

(COIN CLATTERS)

WOMAN:Operator.
Operator, I'd like to call
Sweetwater, Missouri.

That's Sweetwater 7143.

Just a moment, please.

That will be one dollar
for three minutes, please.

(CLATTERING)

Thank you.
WOMAN 2:Hello.

Hello, Ma. It's me, Roy.

I'm here, and I'm
not an astronaut.
I'm a janitor.

This is the Sweetwater
operator.

Here is your party.
Uh, Ma?

That you, Roy?
You phoning long distance?

Oh, hi, Pa.
Yeah, listen, Pa.

We expected to hear from
you earlier, if your plane
got there on time.

Well, they had to put in
a couple of extra rest stops
on account of a lady.

How are you, boy?
Are you okay?

Everybody here's
talkin' about you.
They're all sayin'.

They're sayin', "Lookee there,
there goes Buck Fleming,
father of the astronaut."

Yeah, well, listen, Pa,
there's something
I gotta tell you.

And I bet I know
what it is too.

You wanna thank me
for putting in
your application.

Shucks, son,
that's what pas are for.
To put in applications.

Pa, will you listen
for a minute?

You're usin' up too
much money on the telephone,
Roy. Bye now.

But, Pa
Over the top.

Pa!
(LINE CLICKS)

(WHIMPERS)

(JET FLYING OVERHEAD)

MAN: Notice how
important it is to conserve
your strength, gentlemen.

Excessive breathing
has resulted in clouding
of the face mask,

impairing the vision.

Keep in mind
that old third law
of Professor Newton.

"For every action,
there is an opposite
and equal reaction."

A dirty floor
is a bad floor.

Especially when
you go to wax it.

Now, you have got
to clean it first.

If you don't clean it,
then, brother, what
you've got is trouble.

Now take a close look
at the trouble
this man is having.

This, gentlemen,
is the Zlobnik.

To the best of our
knowledge, it is the
Russian counterpart

to our fully automated
personnel capsule,
the Eclipse.

Intelligence tells us that
they're getting pretty close
to a launch date.

That's why we're accelerating
your training schedule.

Please bear with us.

Well, I don't think
I've got anything else.

Oh, yes, Major Gifford,
I'd like to see you and
the rest of the "A" team

in the training hangar
for a press photo
in five minutes.

Yes, sir.

Now, this here is our new
Jiffy Super 120C.

And if you don't think
it's important,
remember this.

A grain of dust
in the wrong place

could wreck
the entire space program.

That's all for now.
Get to your stations.

Oh, Fleming.
Oh, yes, sir?

Fleming, you've been here
two weeks now,

and I don't think your mind
has been on your work
for one second!

(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, to tell you the truth,
my heart really isn't in this.

We are not interested
in your heart, Fleming.
We want your elbow grease!

Well, you see,
when I came here,
this isn't exactly what I...

Fleming, you're a disgrace
to Maintenance Engineering.

Did you get
your new Jiffy?
No, sir, I didn't.

Take mine.
Thank you, sir.

That's the greatest little mop
in the world, Fleming.
Use it properly.

Yes, sir.
Roy!

Fleming.
Oh! I'm sorry.

You're impossib...
Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I, I, I'm sorry,
Mr. Donelli.

I'm sorry, Major.
No sweat. No sweat.

I didn't see you comin'.
Forget about it.
What's the deal?

You with Maintenance?
Oh, uh, well, uh...

That's kind of
an involved story there.

Yeah, I can imagine.
What happened?
Well...

Remember when I told you
I was gonna be an astronaut?
Yeah, yeah.

Well, you see,
my father, uh...

Oh, you really wouldn't
want to hear about that.
No, no, go ahead.

Well, I got this letter
from the Space Agency
telling me...

Say, a couple of you fellas
from the back move down
in the front here.

And perhaps
this tall man can
move to the rear.

Yeah. And also,
the front row kneel.

Back there.

So, you see,
I'm livin' a lie.

Everybody in Sweetwater
thinks I'm an astronaut.

I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
I'm gettin' thin.

Don't let it
throw you, pappy.
It'll all work out.

PLANK: There he is.
RUSH: That's him, all right.

Buck Fleming's boy.
A-Okay there.

Doggone it, Buck,
you did it again!

I always give Uncle Sam
the best I got.

I did it in '18,
and I'm doin' it now.

E pluribus unum!

Say, Buck, how come
Roy's holdin' a mop?

You don't think they're gonna
put that kind of information
in the paper, do you?

No.
Oh, clever
government.

E pluribus unum!
You better
believe it.

PLANK:
A-Okay there, Roy.
(MEN CHUCKLE)

Fleming to Control.

Fleming to Control.
How do you read me?

Loud and clear!

You realize you are smoking
inside of an expensive
piece of equipment?

I'm sorry, sir.
You're sorry, sir?

Here's your mail.
Yes, sir.

You got five minutes to
read it, and then get busy.
Do you understand?

Yes, sir.
(MIMICKING)
Yes, sir.

Hi, Roy.
Oh, hi, Major.

This has just
gone too far.

It's just gone too far.

Oh, I gotta stop this.

Mr. Donelli, uh,
Mr. Donelli, I, uh...

I have to have
a little time off.
Time off?

You've only been here
three weeks.
I know that.

But, you see, uh, well...
(CLEARS THROAT)

There's a little
matter back home.
See, something has, uh...

Well, it's kind of
an emergency actually.

What it is, is, uh...

My father's son
is in trouble.

Your father's son?
You mean your brother?

No, he's an only child.
Look, what are you
talkin' about?

The man obviously
has a problem, Donelli.
Why don't you let him go?

Well, if it's, uh,
if it's an emergency.
But don't take too long.

Oh, no, no. A day or two
will be plenty.

Thank you, Mr. Donelli.
Thank you.

He gets very excited.
Oh, you just can't get
good help anymore.

Hiya, boy.
Hi, Pa.

Got your wire.
Couldn't wait
for you to get here.

Couldn't wait!
Well, I'm here.
(CHUCKLES)

Of course you are.
Come on in.

Let me look at you.

Ah, you look great.
Oh, well.

Hard as nails.
Brown as a berry.

Let me feel that arm.

It's a whole new arm.

(CHUCKLES)
Well, uh...

Listen, Pa, the reason
I came home

is that there's something
I gotta tell you.

I bet you got a million things
you wanna tell me.
Yeah, that's true.

But there's one thing
in particular, Pa.
You see, the...

Ten-hut!
No, no, no, Pa.

Come on. Get
those shoulders back.
Pa!

Suck in that gut!

Pass in review!

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
Surprise!

(LAUGHING)
Oh, kiss
your Uncle Roy.

Oh.
Oh, I'll never wash
her face again.

Oh, Roy! Roy!

Remember me?
Well, sure, Aunt Zana.

I used to change
his didies.
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

I remember.
Frieda Wilcox,
Roy.

Oh, Frieda Wilcox.
For heaven sakes,
sixth grade.

What's the capital
of Wisconsin?
Uh, capital of Wisconsin?

Pingo remembers him.
Look. Pingo remembers Roy.

I remember Pingo too.

Let the mother through, folks.
Let the mother through.
Oh, Roy!

Oh, Ma.
Oh, it's so nice
to have you home, Son.

Well, it's nice
to be home, Ma.
My boy is home, Mother.

I see that, Arbuckle.
Back off, everybody.
Back off.

I wanna get a picture
of Roy and Buck together.
Well.

Put your arm
around him, Buck.
Ah.

All right, smile.
Smile.

Somebody say "money."
That'll make 'em smile.
(ALL LAUGHING)

One, two, three.

(ALL SIGHING)

A-Okay, there.
Hi, Plank.
How are you?

Is Ellie here?
She'll be along soon.

I used to change his didies.

(ALL LAUGHING)

FRIEDA:
Here comes the cake.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

Get back, children.

Oh, Clara, that is
just marvelous.
Come on.

That's a space cake
for you.

Roy, you have to cut
the first piece.
(CHUCKLING)

Well, all right.
Hold it, Roy.
I wanna get a picture.

Oh, well, wait, honey.
All right.

Wait. You're just
a little too sweet.
(LAUGHING)

All right, Mother.
Oh, all right.
All right.

Yeah,
there we go.
Everybody smile.

One, two, three.

(ALL SIGHING)
Oh, for goodness
sake.

Cut the cake, Roy.
Yeah.

Oh, Roy, wait! I forgot.
We have a little surprise
for you.

Your nieces
Karen, Lorna,
and Nancy and Darlene

have made up
a little song
just for you.

Well, bless
their hearts.
All right, girls.

"The Song of Space,"
dedicated to Uncle Roy.

They wrote it their selves.

(WOMAN HUMMING NOTE)

(GIRLS HUMMING NOTE)

(PIANO PLAYS)

(SINGING)Up and down
Around and round

Up and down we go

Here and there
Around the air

Satellites aglow

We will flit in orbit

Spinning out in space

Roy, Roy, attaboy

You are no disgrace

(ALL APPLAUDING)
BUCK: That's Roy!

They're so sweet.
They're so sweet.
(LAUGHS)

They're so sweet.

I used to change
his didies.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Roy, you better
cut the cake.

Roy, before you do,
how about doin'
a countdown for us?

(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Do a countdown for us.
Everybody wants to hear it.

Come on, tiger.
Just one time.

PLANK:
Go on. Do it, Roy.

(CROWD QUIETS)
Well.

Five, four,

three, two, one.

(IMITATES BLASTOFF)
(ALL CHEERING)

Oh, how wonderful.
The greatest.

Cut the cake.
Oh, yeah.

Well, let's see.

Right down the center.
Okay.

(ALL CHEERING)

Pingo wants to see the cake.
Let Pingo see the cake.

(CROWD SIGHS)
My cake!

Look at Pingo!
Look at him.

He loves cake.

Get!
Oh! How dare you!

Come with Mama.
We'll get away
from those ugly people.

Uh, cake, anyone?

(ALL MURMURING)
I think I'll just
have some coffee.

WOMAN: I'm allergic.

He only tasted
one piece of it.

Oh, I hate Pekingese.

You never know
what they're thinking.

(ALL CHATTERING)

I guess you have a lot
of technical equipment
up there.

Right, Roy?
Technical equipment?

You wanna talk about
technical equipment,
huh?

Well, I'll tell you about
your technical equipment.

That place is just full
of great big things.
Oh.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

What about
them stimulators?
(CHUCKLES) Oh, Plank.

Not "stimulators."
It's "simulators."

Yeah, that's it.
What about them?

Well, you wanna know
about simulators.

Well, I guess
you've all heard a lot
about simulators,

but I'm gonna tell you
something about 'em
you never heard before.

They gotta be
dusted every day

and wet mopped
once a week underneath.

(CROWD CHATTERS)
If this is secret stuff,
you don't have to...

No, no, that's okay, Pa.
It's okay. Rush?

Roy, you read a lot
about them centrifuges.

What are they like exactly,
technically speaking?

Technically speaking...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Well, I guess,
technically speaking,

you'd say that
that's where us guys
go to get our G's.

Oh.

G's?

Uh, slip of the lip
will sink a ship.

I better not go too far
into that, Plank.

But I will
tell you this.

That thing goes so fast
that all the paint
starts to peel.

And that paint
has to be scraped
and sanded down.

The whole thing
has to be waxed.

That's your centrifuge.

During your reentry,
when do you open
your drogue parachute?

Uh, the usual time.
Uh, next question.

When is that?
Uh, when it's time. Bert?

Specifically when?

When I darn well please.
That's when!

ROY: Bert?
Um...

What do they get for a haircut
at the center, Roy?

(CHUCKLES)
Well, I wouldn't know
about that, Bert.

Nobody touches
this head but you.
(CHUCKLING)

Phony!

I've got a question.
Why don't we all dance?

Ellie.

Oh, that's a fine idea.
Uh, excuse me.

Arbuckle, why don't you
put something
on the phonograph.

You sure got a way
with words, Roy.

Well, it's all just a matter
of knowing your subject.

Hi, Ellie.
Hello, Roy.

Boy, I sure am glad
you came.

I wouldn't have missed this
for anything.

(CHUCKLES)
You look good, Ellie.

Three weeks sure hasn't
hurt you none.

You look like they've been
treating you pretty well.

I've been wearing
suede shoes and eatin'
chow mein every night.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Say, it's gettin'
kinda hot in here.

Why don't we step outside
and get a breath
of fresh air, huh?

I haven't really had a chance
to say hello to anybody yet.

You'll have time
for that later.

Come on.
All right.

(MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONOGRAPH)

Aren't you proud
of him, Buck?
I sure am.

You know what
we ought to do?

We oughta go down
to that space place
someday and visit Roy.

Hey, that's a good idea.

We'll do that.
The three of us.

ALL: Yeah!

Tell me all about
what you've been doing.
(CHUCKLES)

I'm kinda all talked
out on that.

I bet it's exciting.

Well, yeah, it's...
It's exciting.

You know, Roy,
the whole town is really
very proud of you.

(SIGHS) Well...

You too?
Especially me.

Really?
Mmm-hmm.

I'm really very proud
of you, Roy.

Uh, Ellie.
Hmm?

You know, I never told this
to anybody before.

(CLEARS THROAT)
I guess it's because
I never been away before.

But while I was away,
I missed you more than
I've ever missed anybody.

You're very sweet, Roy.

Oh, a tire swing!

(CHUCKLING)
Well, can we both
fit in there?

Give me a push, Roy.
Well, all right.

There you go.
(LAUGHS)

"I think that I shall
never see a poem
so lovely as a tree."

Oh, Roy, you're delightful.
Get behind me and give me
a great big push.

I'm delightful?

Whee!
BUCK: Roy?

(GROANS)

Roy?

Roy?

(LOUD SLAP)

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry, Roy, but
I don't like to be
taken by surprise.

I don't want
to talk about it.

Oh, wait a minute, Roy.
I think my father
was calling me.

Now, wait a minute, please.
Come over here and sit down.

Take the handkerchief away
and let me see.

Mmm-mmm.

Come on.
No.

Now, let Ellie
kiss the hurt.

There you are, boy.

I've been waitin' up
for you.

You're a real Fleming, boy.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

Kiss the girls
and make 'em cry.
(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLING)
Yeah. Well...

Come on, Roy.

We'll have a little schnapps
together before we go to bed.

Some party, eh?
Yeah.

Well, this made us wiser
than the kaiser.

(COUGHS)

Roy, you had something you
were gonna tell me when you
first came in. What was it?

Hmm?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I did.

Shoot.

Well, Pa, it's like this.

Now, the thing is
that I don't want you
to feel bad or anything

and I know what this
whole thing means to you,

but the actual,
factual matter
is that, uh...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well, I'm gonna quit
the astronaut program.

You're gonna quit?

Did these old ears of mine
hear Buck Fleming's boy
say he's gonna quit?

Now, Pa, I know all
about your war record,

and I'm proud of it,
darn proud of it.
Have been for years.

But you see... Now, me,
I'm not cut out for it.

But, Roy,
you can't quit, boy.

Why not, Pa?

Well...

I'm gonna tell you
somethin' about myself

that you never heard before.

Sit down.

Your old man is a fake.
What do you mean?

It's my war record.
Yeah,
I'm darn proud of it.

Well, don't be.

You know what I really did
during the Great War?

I was a librarian
at Fort Dix.

I didn't even leave
the country.

Librarian?

At Fort Dix?

What about your pension,
your wound?

The Encyclopedia Britannica
fell on me.

"B" to "D."

You mean to tell me
that all this time, you...
That's right.

(SIGHS)

Well...

Oh, Pa.

So you see,
I've been countin'
on you, Roy.

Oh, Pa!

Please, Roy!
But, but...

Don't you worry, Pa.

Uh, I'll, uh...

I'll work it all out somehow.

Uh, don't...
Don't you worry.

Good night, Pa.

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS)

I've never been out
to the airfield before.

You old fool. You were
out here to see Roy off
three weeks ago.

I mean
outside of that.

Royal, I hear you and Ellie
spent a lot of time
in the garden last night.

(CHUCKLING)
Yeah, that's right, Ma.
We did.

Have you got
anything to tell me
that a mother should know?

Oh, no, Ma,
we're just good friends.

MAN: (ON P.A.)
...Oklahoma train,

past Altoona
and connections forward.

Well, looks like
we're leavin' kinda
early today.

Now boarding at
Gate number 1. Passengers,
all aboard, please.

Roy!
I got off work early.

Oh, that's wonderful.
Gee, I didn't think
you were gonna be here.

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, what's that?

Well, she was my favorite
when I was a little girl.

Do me a favor, Roy.
Take her into space
with you, please.

Oh, uh,
why, sure. Sure.

Now boarding at Gate number 1.

Passengers,
all aboard, please.

Well, I guess
it's time to go.

Ma. Bye.

Bye, Son.

Plank.
Good luck, Roy.

Rush.
Bye, Roy.

I can't find
no words, son.

It's okay, Pa.
(SNIFFLING)

(BLOWS NOSE)

Bye, Ellie.

We're just
good friends, Ma.

Houston.

Running away
from home?

DOLL: Mama.

Now, this here is
the monitor control
center.

But that's none
of your business.

You just get busy
and wax the floor.
Yes, sir.

You've been back a week
and haven't caught up
on your work yet.

Well...
I'll plug it in for you.

Oh.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Well, I'm not
completely rotten,
you know.

I'll be back in an hour to see
how you're getting along.

Yes, sir.

(MOTOR SPUTTERS)

(MOTOR HUMMING)

(VIDEO INAUDIBLE)

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Are you getting
Sweetwater?
What water?

Sweetwater.
Sweetwater, Missouri.

No, that's right
outside the building.
The place is full of tourists.

Right outside
the building?

(GROANING)

Oh, the tourists won't
bother you. They're just...

I've never been
on the indoors of
a space airfield before.

Well, you have now.
You're tellin' me.

This is the place,
all right.

But I sure
don't see no Roy.

Maybe he's up in space.

Ah, they'd have sent Buck
a postcard or something.

Yeah.

"Representation
of Lunar Surface."

This here is what
your moon looks like.

Oh.

Take a picture of me
standin' on the moon.
That ain't really the moon.

We don't have
to tell anybody.

Oh.

Ready?

One, two, three.

(CLICKS)

(BOTH SIGH)
(DOOR OPENS)

Uh-oh. I better
get down off the moon.

Howdy, sir.
I'm looking for my son,
Roy Fleming.

He's one
of your own kind.

Pa, what in the world
are you doin' here?

Roy! Hey, Roy's
inside there!

Well, doggone!

Ain't that a sight!

We thought we'd come down
and surprise you.
Well, you sure did.

'Course, I am kinda
busy, you know.
A-Okay there, boy.

Roy, I'm so doggone
proud of you
I can't stand it!

Well...
(CHUCKLING)

Uh, how come
somebody else's name
is on there?

Ain't that your suit?

Uh, no.
Mine's at the cleaners.
Oh.

Neatness counts,
you know.

Boy, they sure don't want you
to lose that silver satchel,
do they, Roy?

This is your
air conditioner.
Air conditioner?

Yeah. You can control
your own air with these.
That's your switch there.

(MOTOR HUMMING)
Wow!

Well, you don't want
your blood boilin'
when you're doin' space stuff.

The things
they have to know.

Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)

Roy, would you give us
the grand tour?

Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
All right.

Now, this, of course,
is your, uh, your
training area in here.

Now this here
is a capsule,

and this here is
a, uh, your rocket.

Now this...
(CLEARS THROAT)

This here is your...
Your rail.

I don't know if you've
noticed, but there's no
smoking in this area at all.

This floor used
to be just covered
with cigarette butts.

What do you think of
this floor, by the way?
Sure is shiny, Roy.

This is your floor.
Got a nice shine to it.

Well, now, this place
is just full of gadgets.

This is where
the astronauts get their...

(WHIMPERS)

Huh?

Pa!

Turn off the switch!
Turn the air conditioning
switch.

(YELPING)

Turn the air conditioning!
Turn the air conditioning!

Turn the switch!
What?

Huh?
The air conditioning switch!
Turn it off!

Find it! Find it!
Where is the switch?
Is there a switch there?

Where's the switch,
Roy?
Are you all right?

It's cold! It's snow!
Get you out
of this thing.

Here! Here!
(AIR BLASTING)

Is that the switch
now, Roy?
Ooh, it's cold!

You warm enough yet, Son?
Ah, don't worry
about me, Pa.

This body is
a finely tuned
space instrument.

I hope they don't
get mad about that hole
in your suit there.

Ah, they'll sew it up.
Good.

Now, son, what is
this here that we're
standing in front of?

Uh, this here is your,
uh, low-pressure chamber.

It's an environment
simulator.

You wanna conduct
this tour, Plank?
Heck, no, but...

You think you know
more about it than I do?
I didn't say that.

Then take a lock.
(CLICKS) Okay?

But it says right there
"Environment Simulator."

Well, look, do you think
for one minute

that in a highly classified
place like this

you can believe
everything you read?

Oh! (LAUGHS)
I'm sorry.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah.

We're now standing
in front of the
environment simulator.

(ALL CHUCKLING)
And this is
a very highly secret,

classified piece
of equipment.

Why don't you get inside
and let me get
a picture of you?

Oh. All right.

Close the hatch,
Roy.

Look out, now.

You all set?
All set!

One, two, three!

(POPS)
Hey, how come
it worked?

I don't know. I touched
the same button and all.
Pa?

Pa!
What?

It's me, Pa.

You wanna just try
and get that hatch open?

What's the matter?
Can't you get out?

Of course I can get out.
Just... Just open the hatch.

Uh, which one, Roy?

(SHOUTING)
Any one! Any one!
Just open the hatch!

You stuck in there?
Yeah, I'm stuck in here!
Now open the hatch!

What are you
doin' out there?
Get me outta here!

Uh, Roy, there doesn't
seem to be any knob
on this thing.

Now, is there
something in there
that you could push out?

Roy!
Roy, you all right?

Stand back!
Stand back!
(FABRIC RIPPING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

You tore the guy's suit.
The guy's suit is all...

(SHOUTING)
Okay! All right! Now...

Now, the next thing
I'd like to demonstrate...

Roy, are you gonna
get in trouble for
wreckin' this thing?

Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
Just follow me.

Hey,
there's Gifford.
Yeah.

Major.
Howdy, boys.

Hey, look at that!
Hey!

Boy, I hope
it's one of ours.
(CHUCKLING)

Now, this little baby
is really somethin' to see.

This here is your
high speed rocket sled.

I'll bet she goes
like 60, huh?

Sixty? (LAUGHS) Oh, Plank.

This little sweetheart
will take you up to
1,100 miles per.

That's one-one-double-zero,
fella!

Get in it, Roy.
Let's see how you look.
Oh, well, I, uh...

Go on, Roy.
Get in.
Go on, Roy. Get it.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, all right.

I'll just get in here
and show you how she looks.

Roy, put on your helmet.
I wanna get a picture.

Uh... Oh, all right.
(CHUCKLES)

Be careful.
She might
take off with you.

Oh, no. You don't have
to worry about that, Pa.

See here? "Rockets
will not fire unless...

"One, master switch 'A'
is turned on."

Let's see.
It'd be this right here.

"Two, track-release ratchets
are activated by
pulling lever 'B'."

Lever "B" would be that.

And "Three, ignition
button cover is removed."
There you are.

And "Four, ignition button
is depressed."

(CLICKS)
See there?

(CHUCKLING)
When you got this
much power in a thing,

you gotta be very careful
to arrange everything

so that just not anybody...
(ALL YELL)

(ENGINE BLASTS)

(SCREAMING)
Whoa, boy!

(ALARM BLARING)

(ALARM CONTINUES)

(SIRENS WAILING)

(SIRENS APPROACHING)

I think I can tell you
what went wrong there.
That was wonderful, Roy!

You see, the thing is,
I didn't mean to...
Just great! A real treat!

Mr. Donelli!

Fleming!

Who is this guy?
I'm ashamed to say.

He's one of my
apprentice janitors.

Janitor?

DONELLI:
That's right. The worst
1074 we've ever had here!

Fleming, pick up your
check in the morning.
You are fired!

Well, I'll see you
at the front gate.

I recall I left my hat
at the training center.

Got my hat.

Uh-huh.

Well, I suppose
I'll be home by supper,
the way Plank drives.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah.

Be home about supper.

(CHUCKLES)
The way Plank drives.

Yeah.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

Pa?

You should've
told me, boy.

I'm sorry.

Guess you'll
be along tomorrow
after you get your pay.

I'll see you.

Pa?

(WEAKLY) Ten-hut.

No, son.

We're just
a couple of losers.

(JUKEBOX PLAYING ROCK'N'ROLL)

(CROWD SHOUTING, WHOOPING)
Four, three, two, one!

Ignition, blastoff!

(LAUGHING, SHOUTING)

(CHATTERING)

(EXCLAIMING)

MAN:
Come on. Let's go.
Come on, now. Let's go.

CROWD: Ten, nine,
eight, seven,

six, five, four,
three, two, one!

Ignition, blastoff!

(LAUGHING, SHOUTING)

MAN: Here we go!
CROWD: Ten, nine,
eight, seven,

six, five, four,
three, two, one!

Ignition, blastoff!

Go get 'im, boy!
Go get 'im, Charlie!

Attaboy!

Hey, come on!
Take a turn, slim!
Come on in!

Come on!
Get on the pad, boy!
Get in there!

Here you go.
Have a drink!
Here we go. Come on.

Ten, nine, eight, seven...
The thing is, I don't...

Six, five, four,
three, two, one!

Ignition, blastoff!

Come on there, slim!
Attaboy, slim!
Go, go, go, go!

Put it right down there,
slim!
Go, go, go, go!

(CHEERING)

Sorry to keep you waiting,
gentlemen. Dr. Bowen.

Cervantes.
With your permission, sir.

Let's get at it.
Anything further
from Intelligence?

No, not since
that last report.

Can I have your attention,
please, gentlemen?

As you know, the projected
launch date for the Eclipse

was to be
in the middle of July.

Major Gifford here
was going to man the capsule.

However, the Russians
have thrown us a curve.

Oh, thank you.

Here it is.

In exactly 48 hours,

the Russians plan to launch
their fully automated capsule.
(ALL MURMURING)

That's bad enough, but
on top of beating us
to the punch there,

in order to fully demonstrate
the reliability of
their automation,

their capsule
will be solely occupied
by an individual who...

Now, get this.
Is neither an aviator
nor an astronaut.

This is ridiculous.

They are, in fact, gentlemen,
sending up a dentist.

They must be kidding. A man
with no experience in space
technology whatsoever.

I don't get it.
BOWEN:
It's very simple.

They're going to show
the world that their
automated capsule

is so foolproof, they can
send anybody up in it.

Scotty, what's
the story on Eclipse?
We've got a vehicle ready.

We can mount Eclipse on it
and be ready for launch
in 36 hours.

Bob, how about weather?
C.A.V.U. will hold
all down the range.

That would give us
a 12-hour jump
on the Russians.

So now, gentlemen,
our most pressing problem

is finding the man
to take this ride.

The least-qualified
individual

that you can possibly
think of.

In other words, the last man
on earth that you would
send into space.

Sir, I have a suggestion.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three, two, one!

Ignition, blastoff!

(SHOUTING)
Go, go, go!

(ALL LAUGHING, CHEERING)

Wonderful, Roy!

You mean
that you fired him?

That's right.
He was always...

Where'd he go?
I don't know.

I saw him
leaving the center
about two hours ago.

Come on, Charlie.

One more time!
Ten, nine, one!
'Nition, 'lastoff!

Attaboy!

Here he goes!
Up, up, up!

Well, let's try
down on B Street.

Oh, no.
He's not the type
to hang out in bars.

The way he's probably
feeling tonight, he's liable
to hang out anywhere.

You live
with your folks?
(GAGGING)

(COUGHS)
Oh, come on!

Hey, nice goin',
slim!
Hey, you're welcome.

(CHUCKLING)

(SHOUTING)
Hey, bartender,
another beer!

(CLEARS THROAT)

Would you like
another little drinkie?

No, thank you.

I have had
an elegant sufficiency.

You're a high school
grad, aren't you?

Of course.
(CHUCKLING)

Do you happen to know
with whom you happen
to be with?

Whom?

(CLEARS THROAT)
Exactly. (CHUCKLES)

Watch out
for that, slim.
(WHISTLES)

(CHUCKLING)
Right. Right.

(SHOUTING)
Hey, bartender,
where's that beer?

(CLEARS THROAT)
Do you know
what I did today

that just happens
to be highly secret,
classified information?

No.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

I soloed, by myself,

a rocket sled
at 11,000 miles an hour.

What do you think
about that?
(CHUCKLING)

(SHOUTING)
Hey, bartender!
Let's have that beer!

Hold out your hand
this time, slim.

A-Okay there!

Fire one!

Ooh! Aw, Maj!

Oh, Maj, listen.
I'm really sorry
about today.

I'm gonna buy you all
a new sled.

In fact,
you tell Mr. Cervantes

that I'm pretty sure
my car insurance
will cover all that.

No, Roy, forget
about the sled.
No kidding. I'm really sorry.

Now, listen,
snap out of it. Roy.
Yeah?

Come on, now. Snap out of it.
I've got something
very important to tell you.

Yeah? Like what?

What could be worse?
My own father
doesn't love me anymore.

Roy, listen. Listen.
There's a good chance
for you to go up in space.

Huh? What are you
talking about?

That's right, kid.
They want to send you
up in the Eclipse.

Me? Well, how come me?
We'll explain it
to you later.

Will you do it, Roy?
Come on, Roy,
what do you say?

Will you go
into orbit?

You put her
on the pad, boys.

I'll take her up.

(SHOUTING)
Another beer, bartender!

(PATRONS CHUCKLING)

All you have
to do, Fleming,
is go for the ride.

You'll have
no duties to perform.
Just take the ride.

Repeat this number.
Forty-one.
Forty-one.

36.
Have you ever had
fits of depression?

36.
You're not
listening.

Get finished here, you get
into a G-suit. I'll fly you
to the launch area.

You'll be able
to communicate with us,

but don't touch anything.
You got that?

Have you ever
contemplated suicide?
I won't touch anything.

His ears
look all right.
He hasn't answered me.

My ears look all right.
How about it, gentlemen?
Is he all right?

Well, as far
as I can see...
I would say the only thing...

Good. I want you to know
that you're doing this
of your own free will.

Is that
understood?
Thirty-six.

That's good enough
for me! Come on.

Everything all right
back there, Roy?

Roy?

Roy?

Cape Kennedy.

Cervantes or Fleming
arrive yet?

Cervantes arrived
five minutes ago,
but Fleming isn't with him.

He's not
with Cervantes?

We'd better scratch.
T-minus 14 minutes
and counting.

I thought for sure
he'd be with Cervantes.

Holy Toledo!

Oh, no.
No, not me.

They're not
gettin' me up in that.

BUCK:You're gonna quit?

Did these old ears hear
Buck Fleming's boy
say he's gonna quit?

ROY:You see, me, now,
I'm not cut out for it.

BUCK:The whole town's
talkin' about you, boy.

They say, "Lookee there,
there goes Buck Fleming,
father of the astronaut."

A toast, Rush.

RUSH:
Roy Fleming,

a credit to his town,
to his father,
to his nation,

and now
the entire universe.

BUCK:Over the top, boy.
Ten-hut! About face!

Hut, two, three, four!
Hut, two, three, four!

Hut, two, three, four!
Hut, two, three, four!

Hut, two, three, four!

T-minus eight and counting.
Still green. Still green.

Is he ready?
He's on his way
to the gantry.

Now, look.
You just take the ride.
Let us handle it.

Good luck, Fleming.

Uh, about how high up
are we now?

About 15 stories.

You guys wanna hear
something funny?

I can't stand heights.

(CHUCKLES)
And you wanna know why?

Well, when I was little,
my Cousin Elwood and me,

we climbed up
in this big apple tree,
you know, to steal apples.

Well, it was
a real tall tree.

Taller than
my father's room.
You could see all over.

Well, we got up there,
and the wind begin to blow

and that tree begin
to shake and sway.

I really was scared
I was gonna fall.

So ever since that time,
I've been afraid of heights,

and that's why
I don't wanna go.

(HATCH LOCKS)

I said I don't wanna go!
I don't wanna go, guys!

MAN: (ON INTERCOM)
T-minus one minute.
Clear the launch area.

Guys, I don't wanna go!

T-minus 50 seconds.
Still counting.

(YELLS)

(GRUNTING)
(ALARM BEEPING)

(HATCH CREAKING)
(GRUNTING)

T-minus 30 seconds.
Green condition, all go.

(SHOUTING)
Not yet! I'm not in!

Hey, uh... Aah!

15, 14, 13,

12, 11, 10,

nine, eight, seven...
Hold on.
Hold on! Oh!

Six, five, four,

three, two, one...
(GRUNTING)

Zero, ignition.

All systems are go.

Looks good.
How's Fleming,
Dr. Lowe?

Heart rate high.
Blood pressure high.

Temperature high.
Respiration erratic.

GIFFORD: (ON RADIO)
Take it easy, Roy.
Take it easy.

Good liftoff. Real good.

Thank you.

All lights green.
Tracking radar, go.

Ground telemetry, go.
Communications, go.

GIFFORD:
Booster engine cutting off.
Stand by for staging.

First stage separating.

(GRUNTS)

Hello! Hello down there!
She... She broke!

She broke!
I felt a big hunk fall off!

Take it easy, Roy.
Take it easy.
Your first stage separated.

Nothing to worry about, Roy.
Everything's going real good.

You'll be coming into range
of the Bermuda
tracking station now.

Gee, I've always wanted
to go to Bermuda.

Uh, heart rate,
blood pressure, respiration,
approaching normal.

Uh, about how high up
am I now?

Altitude
approximately 90 miles.

Rapid increase in
pulse rate, blood pressure
and respiration.

Coming up
on second stage.
Roy.

In 15 seconds,
your second stage
is going to fall off.

Now, nothing is broken.

It's all right.

Second stage gone.
No sweat, chickie.

(GIFFORD CHUCKLING)
Attaboy, Roy. Attaboy.

Say, uh, Fred?

Uh, there's something
I forgot to ask you.

It's kind of
important right now.

How do you...

Oh, yes. Well,
the procedure on that...

What you do is...

You're kidding!

(GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS ON TV)

We interrupt the Wednesday
afternoon showing
of Doughboys in Action

with a special
news bulletin.

Dog-gone interruptions,
interruptions!

The war will be back
in just a minute, Arbuckle.

The United States has scored
a beat on the Russians

by putting the first
untrained layman in space.

A janitor named Royal Fleming
from Sweetwater, Missouri,

has been launched
in the Eclipse 1,

the space agency's first
fully automated capsule.

Stay tuned for more details.
Mother, did you hear that?
They launched our son!

Mother!
Wake up, Mother!

Wake up! They, they...

Dog-gone, I wonder if
the boys are watchin'.

Mother! Mother, they...
Oh, Arbuckle, I...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
Eclipse Control has confirmed

that after five minutes
and 30 seconds into mission,

Roy Fleming,
the courageous janitor,
is in orbit.

Hey! Hello?

I'm loose!

I'm floating!
Get me down! Hello!

You should be strapped
in your seat, Roy.
Get back in there.

Hey, you guys! Help!

How are you doing, Roy?

(EXCLAIMING)

Roy, are you all right?

(LEVER CRANKING)

Hey! Hey!
Hey, you guys!

Showing
a 360-degree-per-second roll.

Hey! What's going...
Wha...

Hey, stop this thing!
It's turning!

Roy, don't touch
those controls.
Let go of that handle.

Roy!
Let go of that handle!

(LEVER CRANKING)
Okay.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

Roy, you all right?
Come in, please.

Come in, Roy. Come in.

Come in, Roy. Come in.

Mama.

What was that?
DOLL:Mama.

Roy, are you all right?

He might be suffering
from hallucinatory
regression

as a result
of cosmic bombardment,

or it's possible
he's inhaled some helium

and it's affected
his vocal cords.

Or...

Or what?

He's had a baby.

Fleming's orbit
is going very well.

Within minutes, Eclipse
will be picked up...
(CHEERING)

By the Grand Canary Island
tracking station,

the next monitoring base
in the globe-girdling network.

That dog-gone kid!
Now it's all clear to me.

He had to lie to me.
It was a government secret.

Buck Fleming's boy
in space!
A-Okay there!

Hello? Hello?

Hey, you guys,
I got in the chair
all right.

He seems to have
settled down some.
Good. Good.

Let's try
the eating experiments.
Okay.

Roy, we'd like to conduct
some eating experiments.

How would you like
some crackers?

Uh, no, thanks.
I had an apple on the bus.

Well, you have
some crackers anyway.

Reach down on the left side
of your command seat.
You'll find a plastic packet.

Have you got it?
A-Okay on the crackers.

Fred, is there
any peanut butter?

You'll find a plastic tube
in the food cabinet
below your left elbow.

At last report,
astro-janitor Fleming
is enjoying a hearty meal

while orbiting the Earth
at 17,000 miles an hour.

Chew each bite 28 times, dear.

I'm getting a red on
the flight programming
computer.

No!
Check that again.

No. Still getting a red.

Control to Eclipse.
Roy, we're getting
a minor malfunction

on your flight programming
computer tape.

Will you check it, please?
It's above your head
to the right.

Roy, will you
check that, please?

We're full of it here.
It's a mess.

Roy,

can you very carefully put
that tape back on those reels?

Well, I'll try.

Is it all right if I don't
finish the crackers?

It has been confirmed,
ladies and gentlemen,

the Eclipse
is indeed in trouble.
(ALL GASP)

The difficulty lies,
as we understand it,

in the programming computer,
which is quite similar
to a tape recorder.

This tape carries the impulses
which tell the Eclipse
what to do and when to do it.

In other words,
the mechanical brain
of the capsule.

Without it, astro-janitor
Roy Fleming may be doomed
to stay forever in orbit.

(MURMURING, GASPING)

How are you doing, Roy?
You got that tape
back on the reels?

I'm workin' on it.

If anything
happens to that boy,
I'll never forgive myself.

This emergency is being
handled with great
courage by Fleming.

This young man,
never before in space,

is calmly rewinding
the computer tape by hand.
Buck Fleming's boy.

No.

Roy Fleming.

How you doing, Roy?

ROY:Don't worry about it,
Fred. I got it all back on.
It's fine.

Roy, we still have a red
on the computer here.

Well, I do have some crackers
and peanut butter
mixed in with it.

Is that important?

Hello?

Roy?
Standing by.

Without that, you won't
be coming down again.

You're kidding.

Pulse rate, blood pressure
and respiratory
emergency readings.

We should've used
a monkey or a dog
or something.

Roy.

What?

You should be over our
tracking station on
Canton Island in the Pacific.

Look out the window.

Oh, no. I'm not gonna
look out the window!

Look out the window.
That's an order!

Well, all right.

I'm looking out.

Uh, hey.

Holy smoke!

How are you doing, Roy?

Now listen to me
carefully.

In a few seconds,
you should be over Kauai
in the Hawaiian Islands.

When you see that...

He's gone dead.
We're transmitting.
He's not getting through.

Roy?
That poor devil.

Roy. Come in, Roy.

The trouble's in the Eclipse.
There's no malfunction here.

Fred! Fred, talk to me!

II read you, Roy.
Can you read me?

Fred!

Mr. Cervantes!

Anybody at that end!

Listen, you guys.
I just saw Hawaii.
What was I supposed to...

Hawaii?

Hawaii!

We are now passing over
the Hawaiian Islands.

Our flight plan
will carry us
to the recovery area

100 miles southeast
of the Bahamas.

Starting our
retrorocket countdown.

Five, four, three, two, one.

(IMITATING ROCKET BLAST)

(ENGINES ROARING)

He's bringing her down!
(ALL LAUGHING)

See anything, AI?

No.

I don't understand it.
He should be splashing down.

Radar says
he's definitely
in this area.

(AIR HISSING)

(ALARM BLARING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Fleming!
Captain Ferguson.
Welcome aboard.

(CHUCKLING)

Thank you. What'd you think
of my little joke there?
(LAUGHS)

Well done, Fleming.
Very well done.

You deserve
a great deal of credit.

Well, it's all a matter
of keeping a clear head

and solving your problems
one by one as they come up.

That's about
all there is to it.

Well, if you'll just
follow me below,

the doctors
are waiting to give you
a medical debriefing.

Well, I'm sure they'll
find me in ship-shape,
Skipper.

And as soon as they're
finished, a jet fighter will
have you ashore in 15 minutes.

Jet fighter?

Uh, how long does
the ship take?

(CHATTERING)
I'm proud of you, Roy!
I'm proud of you!

Be happy, Son!
I'm proud!
Goodbye.

Good luck!
Bye-bye, Papa.

Goodbye, Daughter.
Be happy.

Bye.
All right,
be happy now.

I hope she has a good time.