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1
00:00:30,838 --> 00:00:36,801
♫ See them tumbling down
2
00:00:36,886 --> 00:00:41,014
♫ Pledging their love
to the ground
3
00:00:41,098 --> 00:00:43,725
Way out West
there was this fella.
4
00:00:43,809 --> 00:00:46,144
Fella I wanna tell you about.
5
00:00:46,228 --> 00:00:49,689
Fella by the name
of Jeff Lebowski.
6
00:00:49,774 --> 00:00:53,401
Least that was the handle
that his loving parents gave him.
7
00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:56,529
But he never had
much use for it himself.
8
00:00:56,614 --> 00:01:00,659
This Lebowski,
he called himself the Dude.
9
00:01:00,743 --> 00:01:02,827
Now Dude,
10
00:01:02,912 --> 00:01:06,581
that's a name no one would
self-apply where I come from.
11
00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:12,045
But then there was a lot about
the Dude that didn't make
a whole lot of sense to me,
12
00:01:12,129 --> 00:01:14,798
and a lot about
where he lived likewise.
13
00:01:14,882 --> 00:01:17,050
♫ Drifting along with
the tumbling tumbleweeds
14
00:01:17,134 --> 00:01:18,718
But then again,
15
00:01:18,803 --> 00:01:21,888
maybe that's why I found the place
so darned interesting.
16
00:01:21,972 --> 00:01:23,932
♫ I know when night has gone
17
00:01:24,016 --> 00:01:26,893
♫ That a new world's
born at dawn
18
00:01:26,977 --> 00:01:31,022
They call Los Angeles
the City of Angels.
19
00:01:31,107 --> 00:01:34,150
I didn't find it to be that,
exactly.
20
00:01:34,235 --> 00:01:37,946
But I'll allow there are
some nice folks there.
21
00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:40,699
Course, I can't say
I seen London,
22
00:01:40,783 --> 00:01:43,034
and I never been to France,
23
00:01:43,119 --> 00:01:48,164
and I ain't never seen no queen in her
damned undies, as the fella says.
24
00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:50,166
But I'll tell you what,
25
00:01:50,251 --> 00:01:55,547
after seeing Los Angeles
and this here story I'm about to unfold,
26
00:01:55,631 --> 00:01:58,466
well, I guess
I've seen something
27
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:02,721
every bit as stupefying as you can see
in any of those other places,
28
00:02:02,805 --> 00:02:04,973
and in English, too.
29
00:02:05,057 --> 00:02:07,976
So I can die with
a smile on my face
30
00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:10,854
without feeling like
the good Lord gypped me.
31
00:02:11,856 --> 00:02:13,898
Now, this here story
I'm about to unfold
32
00:02:13,983 --> 00:02:16,985
took place back
in the early '90s,
33
00:02:17,069 --> 00:02:21,906
just about the time of our conflict
with Saddam and the Iraqis.
34
00:02:21,991 --> 00:02:25,577
I only mention it 'cause
sometimes there's a man...
35
00:02:25,661 --> 00:02:27,704
I won't say a hero.
36
00:02:27,788 --> 00:02:29,831
'Cause what's a hero?
37
00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:32,250
But sometimes there's a man...
38
00:02:32,334 --> 00:02:35,336
And I'm talking about
the Dude here.
39
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:38,089
Sometimes there's a man...
40
00:02:38,174 --> 00:02:42,761
Well, he's the man
for his time and place.
41
00:02:42,845 --> 00:02:45,597
He fits right in there.
42
00:02:45,681 --> 00:02:49,058
And that's the Dude
in Los Angeles.
43
00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:52,771
And even if he is a lazy man,
44
00:02:52,855 --> 00:02:55,482
and the Dude was
most certainly that,
45
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:59,319
quite possibly the laziest
in Los Angeles county,
46
00:02:59,403 --> 00:03:03,281
which would place him high in the running
for laziest worldwide.
47
00:03:04,533 --> 00:03:07,327
But sometimes there's a man...
48
00:03:07,411 --> 00:03:10,205
Sometimes there's a man...
49
00:03:11,665 --> 00:03:15,084
Well, I lost my train
of thought here.
50
00:03:15,169 --> 00:03:16,419
But...
51
00:03:17,171 --> 00:03:19,756
Hell, I done introduced him enough.
52
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,175
...with them all
for a collective action.
53
00:03:22,259 --> 00:03:23,968
This will not stand.
54
00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:27,555
This will not stand,
this aggression against Kuwait.
55
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:33,937
♫ Here on the range I belong
56
00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:36,272
♫ Drifting along
57
00:03:36,357 --> 00:03:39,484
♫ With the tumbling
58
00:03:39,568 --> 00:03:44,989
♫ Tumbleweeds
59
00:03:58,254 --> 00:04:00,547
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
60
00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,841
I want that money,
Lebowski.
61
00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:05,385
Bunny says you're
good for it.
62
00:04:05,469 --> 00:04:08,179
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
63
00:04:08,264 --> 00:04:10,640
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
64
00:04:10,724 --> 00:04:13,268
Where's the fucking money,
shithead?
65
00:04:15,896 --> 00:04:18,481
It's down there somewhere.
Let me take another look.
66
00:04:18,899 --> 00:04:21,150
Don't fuck with us.
67
00:04:23,112 --> 00:04:25,405
Your wife owes money
to Jackie Treehorn,
68
00:04:25,489 --> 00:04:28,366
that means you owe money
to Jackie Treehorn.
69
00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:30,660
Ever thus to deadbeats,
Lebowski.
70
00:04:31,829 --> 00:04:33,329
No, don't do...
71
00:04:35,124 --> 00:04:37,750
- Not on the rug, man.
- See?
72
00:04:37,835 --> 00:04:41,170
See what happens, Lebowski?
You see what happens?
73
00:04:41,255 --> 00:04:44,215
Nobody calls me Lebowski.
You got the wrong guy.
74
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,050
I'm the Dude, man.
75
00:04:46,135 --> 00:04:48,887
Your name's Lebowski,
Lebowski.
76
00:04:48,971 --> 00:04:50,763
Your wife is Bunny.
77
00:04:52,099 --> 00:04:54,017
My wife? Bunny?
78
00:04:54,101 --> 00:04:56,060
Do you see a wedding ring
on my finger?
79
00:04:56,145 --> 00:04:58,438
Does this place look like
I'm fucking married?
80
00:04:58,522 --> 00:05:00,690
The toilet seat's up, man!
81
00:05:08,991 --> 00:05:10,617
What the fuck is this?
82
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,911
Obviously you're
not a golfer.
83
00:05:15,831 --> 00:05:17,624
- Woo?
- Yeah.
84
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,376
Isn't this guy supposed
to be a millionaire?
85
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:22,962
Fuck.
86
00:05:24,381 --> 00:05:26,174
Yeah. What do you think?
87
00:05:26,258 --> 00:05:28,551
He looks like
a fucking loser.
88
00:05:28,636 --> 00:05:31,387
Hey, at least I'm housebroken.
89
00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:33,181
Fucking time-waster.
90
00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:35,141
Thanks a lot,
asshole.
91
00:05:41,982 --> 00:05:45,026
♫ La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
92
00:05:45,527 --> 00:05:48,446
♫ La-la-la, la, la, la, la
93
00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:51,908
♫ La-la-la, la, la, la-la la-la
94
00:05:52,326 --> 00:05:54,077
♫ La, la, la-la
95
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,997
♫ La-la-la
96
00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,250
♫ La-la-la, la-la-la
97
00:06:01,335 --> 00:06:02,710
♫ La-la, la-la
98
00:06:05,547 --> 00:06:07,757
♫ The man in me will do
99
00:06:08,884 --> 00:06:11,135
♫ Nearly any task
100
00:06:12,262 --> 00:06:15,473
♫ And as for compensation
101
00:06:15,557 --> 00:06:18,059
♫ There's little he would ask
102
00:06:18,852 --> 00:06:21,437
♫ Take a woman like you
103
00:06:22,147 --> 00:06:23,731
♫ To get through
104
00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:26,317
♫ To the man in me
105
00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:32,949
♫ Storm clouds are raging
106
00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:35,952
♫ All around my door
107
00:06:36,745 --> 00:06:38,496
♫ I think to myself
108
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:42,083
♫ I might not take it anymore
109
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:45,795
♫ Take a woman like your kind
110
00:06:46,255 --> 00:06:50,091
♫ To find the man in me
111
00:06:52,928 --> 00:06:55,513
♫ But, oh
112
00:06:55,597 --> 00:06:58,057
♫ What a wonderful feeling
113
00:07:00,477 --> 00:07:04,272
♫ Just to know that you are near
114
00:07:07,109 --> 00:07:11,070
♫ Sets my heart a-reeling
115
00:07:12,614 --> 00:07:15,575
♫ From my toes
116
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:19,871
♫ Up to my ears
117
00:07:19,955 --> 00:07:23,166
♫ The man in me will
hide sometimes
118
00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:25,877
♫ To keep from being seen
119
00:07:26,545 --> 00:07:29,839
♫ But that's just because
he doesn't want
120
00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:32,842
♫ To turn into some machine
121
00:07:32,926 --> 00:07:35,344
♫ Take a woman like you
122
00:07:36,096 --> 00:07:37,930
♫ To get through
123
00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:39,891
♫ To the man in me
124
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,356
I'm throwing rocks tonight.
Mark it, Dude.
125
00:07:47,441 --> 00:07:51,944
I'm telling you, this was a valued rug.
This was a...
126
00:07:52,029 --> 00:07:54,572
Yeah, man. It really
tied the room together.
127
00:07:54,656 --> 00:07:56,282
This was
a valued...
128
00:07:56,325 --> 00:07:58,117
- What tied the room together, Dude?
- My rug.
129
00:07:58,202 --> 00:07:59,702
Were you listening to the
Dude's story, Donny?
130
00:07:59,787 --> 00:08:00,870
What?
Walter.
131
00:08:00,954 --> 00:08:03,664
- Were you listening to the Dude's story?
- I was bowling.
132
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,000
So you have no frame of
reference here, Donny.
133
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:08,878
You're like a child who
wanders into the middle of
a movie and wants to know...
134
00:08:09,004 --> 00:08:12,423
- Walter, what's the point, man?
- There's no reason, here's my point, Dude.
135
00:08:12,508 --> 00:08:14,133
There's no fucking reason
why these two...
136
00:08:14,218 --> 00:08:15,384
Yeah, Walter,
what's your point?
137
00:08:15,469 --> 00:08:17,470
Walter, what is the...
138
00:08:17,554 --> 00:08:19,972
Look, we all know
who is at fault here.
139
00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:22,266
What the fuck are
you talking about? Huh?
140
00:08:22,351 --> 00:08:25,061
No, what the fuck
are you... I'm not...
141
00:08:25,687 --> 00:08:27,939
We're talking about unchecked
aggression here, Dude.
142
00:08:28,065 --> 00:08:29,690
- What the fuck is he talking about?
- My rug.
143
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:31,567
Forget it, Donny!
You're out of your element!
144
00:08:31,652 --> 00:08:34,237
Walter, the Chinaman
who peed on my rug,
145
00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:36,155
I can't go give him a bill!
146
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,907
So what the fuck
are you talking about?
147
00:08:37,991 --> 00:08:39,117
What the fuck are
you talking about?
148
00:08:39,201 --> 00:08:41,327
The Chinaman is not
the issue here, Dude!
149
00:08:41,411 --> 00:08:43,996
I'm talking about drawing
a line in the sand, Dude.
150
00:08:44,081 --> 00:08:46,499
Across this line
you do not...
151
00:08:46,583 --> 00:08:50,670
Also, Dude, "Chinaman"
is not the preferred nomenclature.
152
00:08:50,754 --> 00:08:52,380
Asian-American, please.
153
00:08:52,464 --> 00:08:55,883
Walter, this isn't a guy who built
the railroads here. This is a guy...
154
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:57,593
What the fuck are you...
155
00:08:57,719 --> 00:09:00,721
- Walter, he peed on my rug!
- He peed on the Dude's rug.
156
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,348
Donny, you're out
of your element.
157
00:09:02,432 --> 00:09:05,726
Dude, the Chinaman
is not the issue here.
158
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:08,229
- So, who...
- Jeff Lebowski.
159
00:09:08,313 --> 00:09:11,440
The other Jeffrey Lebowski.
The millionaire.
160
00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:14,277
That's fucking interesting, man.
That's fucking interesting.
161
00:09:14,361 --> 00:09:18,322
Plus, he has the wealth, obviously,
and the resources,
162
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,950
so that there's no reason,
there's no fucking reason
163
00:09:21,034 --> 00:09:23,744
why his wife should go out
and owe money all over town,
164
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,289
and then they come
and they pee on your fucking rug!
165
00:09:26,373 --> 00:09:27,623
- Am I wrong?
- No.
166
00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:29,250
- Am I wrong?
- Yeah, but...
167
00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:30,376
Okay then.
168
00:09:32,212 --> 00:09:35,214
That rug really tied
the room together, did it not?
169
00:09:35,299 --> 00:09:37,216
- Fucking A.
- And this guy peed on it.
170
00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:38,634
Donny, please.
171
00:09:38,719 --> 00:09:39,886
You know, this is
the fucking guy...
172
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,263
I could find this
fucking Lebowski guy.
173
00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:44,682
His name is Lebowski?
That's your name, Dude.
174
00:09:44,766 --> 00:09:49,061
This is the guy who should compensate me
for the fucking rug.
175
00:09:49,146 --> 00:09:52,773
His wife goes out and
owes money all over town,
and they pee on my rug?
176
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:54,901
They pee on
your fucking rug?
177
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,695
- Peed on my fucking rug.
- That's right, Dude.
178
00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:01,449
They peed on
your fucking rug.
179
00:10:03,076 --> 00:10:04,744
This is the study.
180
00:10:04,828 --> 00:10:07,413
As you can see, the various
commendations, awards...
181
00:10:07,539 --> 00:10:11,417
- "Jeffrey Lebowski."
- ...citations, honorary degrees, et cetera.
182
00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:15,171
- Very impressive.
- Oh, please feel free to inspect them.
183
00:10:15,255 --> 00:10:17,882
- Oh. No, I'm not really...
- Oh, please. Please.
184
00:10:17,966 --> 00:10:19,884
That is the key to
the city of Pasadena,
185
00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:25,348
which Mr. Lebowski received
two years ago in recognition
of his various civic...
186
00:10:25,432 --> 00:10:30,102
Oh! That's the Los Angeles
Chamber of Commerce
Business Achiever Award,
187
00:10:30,187 --> 00:10:32,355
which is given...
Oh, not necessarily given every year.
188
00:10:32,439 --> 00:10:33,522
Hey, is this...
189
00:10:33,649 --> 00:10:34,857
Given only when there's
a worthy somebody...
190
00:10:34,942 --> 00:10:36,234
Is this him with Nancy?
191
00:10:36,318 --> 00:10:39,570
Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski
with the first lady, yes.
192
00:10:39,655 --> 00:10:40,863
It was taken
when Mrs. Reagan...
193
00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:43,574
That's Lebowski on the left there?
194
00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:46,410
- Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left...
- So he's a...
195
00:10:46,495 --> 00:10:49,080
You know, a handicapped
kind of guy?
196
00:10:49,164 --> 00:10:51,332
Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes.
197
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,169
This picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan
was first lady of the nation.
198
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:56,337
Yes, yes.
199
00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:58,381
- Not of California.
- Good shot.
200
00:10:58,465 --> 00:11:00,675
In fact, he met privately
with the President,
201
00:11:00,759 --> 00:11:03,511
though, unfortunately,
there wasn't enough time
for a photo opportunity.
202
00:11:03,595 --> 00:11:05,554
- Oh, Nancy's pretty good.
- Oh, wonderful woman.
203
00:11:05,639 --> 00:11:07,932
- We were very happy to...
- These are...
204
00:11:08,016 --> 00:11:10,685
Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's
children, so to speak.
205
00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:12,019
Different mothers, huh?
206
00:11:12,145 --> 00:11:14,438
- No, they're not...
- Racially, he's pretty cool?
207
00:11:16,191 --> 00:11:17,984
They're not literally his children.
208
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,319
They're the Little Lebowski
Urban Achievers,
209
00:11:20,404 --> 00:11:23,447
inner city children
of promise, but without
the necessary means for...
210
00:11:23,532 --> 00:11:25,533
Necessary means for
a higher education,
211
00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:29,036
so Mr. Lebowski is committed to sending
all of them to college.
212
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,454
- Excuse me.
- Oh, geez.
213
00:11:30,539 --> 00:11:32,290
Thank you. Thank you.
214
00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:36,877
- Far out. Think he's got room for one more?
- One... Oh.
215
00:11:38,547 --> 00:11:39,755
You never went to college.
216
00:11:39,881 --> 00:11:41,924
- Please, don't touch that.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I did,
217
00:11:42,009 --> 00:11:44,302
but, you know,
I spent most of my time
218
00:11:44,386 --> 00:11:47,513
occupying various
administration buildings,
219
00:11:47,597 --> 00:11:49,307
smoking a lot
of Thai stick,
220
00:11:49,474 --> 00:11:52,643
breaking into the ROTC
and bowling.
221
00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:54,979
Tell you the truth, Brandt,
I don't remember most of it.
222
00:12:00,777 --> 00:12:03,946
Okay, sir. You're a Lebowski,
I'm a Lebowski.
223
00:12:04,031 --> 00:12:05,781
That's terrific.
224
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:08,743
But I am very busy,
as I imagine you are.
225
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:11,495
What can I do for you, sir?
226
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:15,124
Well, sir,
it's this rug I have.
227
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,209
It really tied
the room together.
228
00:12:17,294 --> 00:12:20,004
You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
229
00:12:20,088 --> 00:12:21,589
Where do I fit in?
230
00:12:22,257 --> 00:12:25,509
Well, they were looking
for you, these two guys.
231
00:12:25,594 --> 00:12:27,553
- You know, they...
- I'll say it again.
232
00:12:27,637 --> 00:12:30,765
You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
233
00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:32,892
I know what happened.
Yes, yes.
234
00:12:32,976 --> 00:12:36,187
Oh, so you know that
they were trying to piss on your rug.
235
00:12:36,271 --> 00:12:38,481
Did I urinate on your rug?
236
00:12:38,565 --> 00:12:40,816
You mean, did you personally
come and pee on my rug?
237
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,860
Hello! Do you speak English, sir?
238
00:12:42,944 --> 00:12:44,820
¿Parla usted inglés?
239
00:12:44,905 --> 00:12:47,782
I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?
240
00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:51,202
No. Like I said,
Woo peed on my rug.
241
00:12:51,286 --> 00:12:52,953
I just want to
understand this, sir.
242
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:56,957
Every time a rug is micturated
upon in this fair city,
243
00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:58,793
I have to compensate
the person?
244
00:12:58,877 --> 00:13:02,088
Come on, man. I'm not trying to
scam anybody here.
245
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,006
You know, I'm just...
246
00:13:04,091 --> 00:13:07,635
You're just looking for
a handout like every other...
247
00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:11,263
Are you employed,
Mr. Lebowski?
248
00:13:11,765 --> 00:13:14,683
Wait. Let me explain
something to you.
249
00:13:14,768 --> 00:13:16,602
I am not Mr. Lebowski.
250
00:13:16,686 --> 00:13:19,647
You're Mr. Lebowski.
I'm the Dude.
251
00:13:19,731 --> 00:13:22,233
So that's what you call me.
You know?
252
00:13:22,317 --> 00:13:24,402
That or His Dudeness,
253
00:13:24,486 --> 00:13:26,946
or Duder or, you know,
254
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:30,074
EI Duderino, if you're not
into the whole brevity thing.
255
00:13:30,158 --> 00:13:32,159
Are you employed, sir?
256
00:13:33,537 --> 00:13:34,829
Employed?
257
00:13:35,997 --> 00:13:40,751
You don't go out looking for
a job dressed like that,
do you? On a weekday?
258
00:13:40,836 --> 00:13:42,211
Is this a...
259
00:13:42,295 --> 00:13:45,423
- What day is this?
- Well, I do work, sir.
260
00:13:45,507 --> 00:13:49,677
- So, if you don't mind...
- No, I do mind. The Dude minds.
261
00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:51,512
This will not stand, you know.
262
00:13:51,596 --> 00:13:54,098
This aggression
will not stand, man.
263
00:13:54,182 --> 00:13:55,933
I mean,
your wife owes money...
264
00:13:56,017 --> 00:13:58,978
My wife is not
the issue here!
265
00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:02,440
I hope that someday
my wife will learn to
live on her allowance,
266
00:14:02,524 --> 00:14:03,941
which is ample.
267
00:14:04,025 --> 00:14:06,861
But if she does not,
that is her problem, not mine,
268
00:14:06,945 --> 00:14:08,571
just as the rug
is your problem.
269
00:14:08,655 --> 00:14:12,616
Just as every bum's
lot in life is his own responsibility,
270
00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:15,411
regardless of who
he chooses to blame.
271
00:14:15,495 --> 00:14:18,581
I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.
272
00:14:18,665 --> 00:14:21,125
Some Chinaman took them
from me in Korea.
273
00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:23,627
But I went out
and achieved anyway.
274
00:14:24,921 --> 00:14:28,090
I cannot solve your problems, sir.
Only you can.
275
00:14:30,218 --> 00:14:32,636
Well, fuck it.
Oh, fuck it.
276
00:14:32,721 --> 00:14:35,806
Yes, that's your answer.
That's your answer
to everything.
277
00:14:35,891 --> 00:14:37,641
Tattoo it on your forehead!
278
00:14:37,726 --> 00:14:40,186
Your revolution is over,
Mr. Lebowski!
279
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,522
Condolences! The bums lost!
280
00:14:43,607 --> 00:14:46,817
My advice to you is to do
what your parents did!
281
00:14:46,902 --> 00:14:48,694
Get a job, sir!
282
00:14:48,778 --> 00:14:51,322
The bums will always lose!
283
00:14:51,406 --> 00:14:53,157
Do you hear me,
Lebowski?
284
00:14:53,241 --> 00:14:55,659
The bums will
always lose.
285
00:14:56,912 --> 00:14:59,205
How was your meeting,
Mr. Lebowski?
286
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,789
Okay.
287
00:15:00,874 --> 00:15:03,375
The old man told me to take
any rug in the house.
288
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,711
Well, enjoy.
289
00:15:05,795 --> 00:15:08,339
And perhaps we'll see you
again sometime, Dude.
290
00:15:08,423 --> 00:15:09,548
Yeah, sure.
291
00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:12,510
If I'm in the neighborhood,
you know,
292
00:15:14,012 --> 00:15:16,180
and I need to use the john.
293
00:15:26,816 --> 00:15:28,984
Blow on them.
Huh?
294
00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:31,320
Go ahead. Blow.
295
00:15:33,073 --> 00:15:36,450
You want me to blow
on your toes?
296
00:15:36,952 --> 00:15:38,118
Uh-huh.
297
00:15:38,703 --> 00:15:40,621
I can't blow that far.
298
00:15:46,836 --> 00:15:48,879
Are you sure he won't mind?
299
00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:52,049
Uli doesn't care about anything.
He's a nihilist.
300
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,385
Oh, that must be exhausting.
301
00:15:54,469 --> 00:15:56,220
You're not blowing.
302
00:15:56,304 --> 00:15:59,056
Our guest has to be getting along,
Mrs. Lebowski.
303
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:00,558
Oh!
304
00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:02,518
You're Bunny.
305
00:16:03,812 --> 00:16:05,980
I'll suck your cock for $1,000.
306
00:16:10,694 --> 00:16:12,319
Wonderful woman.
307
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:14,530
We're all very fond of her.
Very free-spirited.
308
00:16:14,614 --> 00:16:17,324
Brandt can't watch though,
or he has to pay $100.
309
00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,494
That's marvelous.
310
00:16:22,831 --> 00:16:25,499
I'm just gonna go
find a cash machine.
311
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:32,172
I'm slamming them tonight!
312
00:16:32,799 --> 00:16:34,550
You guys are dead
in the water.
313
00:16:34,634 --> 00:16:37,595
All right! Way to go, Donny!
314
00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:41,015
"If you will it,
it is no dream."
315
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:44,518
Fucking 20 minutes late, man.
What the fuck is that?
316
00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:46,604
- Theodore Herzl.
- Huh?
317
00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:49,773
State of Israel.
If you will it, Dude, it is no dream.
318
00:16:49,858 --> 00:16:51,734
What the fuck are you
talking about, man?
319
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:54,695
The carrier. What's in
the fucking carrier? Huh?
320
00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:57,740
Oh! Cynthia's dog.
Think it's a Pomeranian.
321
00:16:57,824 --> 00:16:59,825
Can't leave him home alone
or he eats the furniture.
322
00:16:59,909 --> 00:17:02,661
I'm watching it
while Cynthia and Marty
Ackerman are in Hawaii.
323
00:17:02,746 --> 00:17:04,663
You brought a fucking
Pomeranian bowling?
324
00:17:04,748 --> 00:17:06,290
What do you mean,
brought it bowling?
325
00:17:06,374 --> 00:17:09,376
I didn't rent it shoes.
I'm not buying it
a fucking beer.
326
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,545
He's not taking your
fucking turn, Dude.
327
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,965
Man, if my fucking ex-wife
asked me to take care of
her fucking dog
328
00:17:15,050 --> 00:17:16,800
while she and her boyfriend
went to Honolulu,
329
00:17:16,885 --> 00:17:19,470
I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Why can't she board it?
330
00:17:19,554 --> 00:17:21,388
First of all, Dude,
you don't have an ex.
331
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:24,642
Secondly, this is a fucking show dog
with fucking papers.
332
00:17:24,726 --> 00:17:27,436
You can't board it.
It gets upset. Its hair falls out.
333
00:17:27,562 --> 00:17:29,855
- Walter...
- Fucking dog has fucking papers.
334
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:32,608
- Over the line!
- Huh?
335
00:17:32,692 --> 00:17:35,027
I'm sorry, Smokey.
You were over the line. That's a foul.
336
00:17:35,111 --> 00:17:36,779
Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude.
337
00:17:36,863 --> 00:17:39,990
Excuse me. Mark it zero.
Next frame.
338
00:17:40,075 --> 00:17:42,993
Bullshit, Walter.
Mark it eight, Dude.
339
00:17:43,078 --> 00:17:45,663
Smokey, this is not Nam.
This is bowling. There are rules.
340
00:17:45,747 --> 00:17:48,499
Hey, Walter, come on.
Hey, man, it's Smokey.
341
00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:50,751
So his toe slipped over
a little, you know.
342
00:17:50,835 --> 00:17:53,003
- It's just a game, man.
- This is a league game.
343
00:17:53,088 --> 00:17:55,005
This determines who enters
the next round robin.
344
00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,840
- Am I wrong?
- Yeah, but I wasn't...
345
00:17:56,925 --> 00:17:59,468
- Am I wrong?
- Yeah, but I wasn't over.
346
00:17:59,552 --> 00:18:02,262
Give me the marker, Dude.
I'm marking an eight.
347
00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:04,098
Smokey, my friend,
348
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:07,893
- you're entering a world of pain.
- Walter, man.
349
00:18:07,977 --> 00:18:11,689
You mark that frame an
eight, you're entering
a world of pain.
350
00:18:11,773 --> 00:18:14,358
- I'm not...
- A world of pain.
351
00:18:14,442 --> 00:18:16,527
Look, Dude,
this is your partner.
352
00:18:16,611 --> 00:18:18,987
Has the whole world
gone crazy?
353
00:18:19,072 --> 00:18:21,824
Am I the only one
around here who gives
a shit about the rules?
354
00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:23,158
Mark it zero!
355
00:18:23,243 --> 00:18:25,327
They're calling the cops, man.
Put the piece away.
356
00:18:25,453 --> 00:18:28,497
- Mark it zero!
- Walter, put the piece away.
357
00:18:28,581 --> 00:18:30,791
- Walter.
- You think I'm fucking around here?
358
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,501
Mark it zero!
359
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,552
All right. It's fucking zero.
360
00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:43,721
You happy,
you crazy fuck?
361
00:18:46,099 --> 00:18:48,100
It's a league game,
Smokey.
362
00:18:49,811 --> 00:18:51,478
You can't do that, man.
363
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:54,273
These guys, you know,
they're like me, they're pacifists.
364
00:18:54,357 --> 00:18:56,942
Smokey was a
conscientious objector.
365
00:18:57,026 --> 00:18:59,862
You know, Dude,
I myself dabbled in
pacifism at one point.
366
00:18:59,946 --> 00:19:01,238
Not in Nam, of course.
367
00:19:01,322 --> 00:19:04,783
And you know he's got
emotional problems, man.
368
00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:07,286
You mean, beyond pacifism?
369
00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:10,080
He's fragile.
He's very fragile.
370
00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:14,668
I did not know that.
371
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,629
Well, it's all water
under the bridge.
372
00:19:17,714 --> 00:19:20,716
And we do enter
the next round robin.
373
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,093
- Am I wrong?
- No, you're not wrong.
374
00:19:23,178 --> 00:19:24,928
- Am I wrong?
- You're not wrong, Walter.
375
00:19:25,013 --> 00:19:26,388
You're just an asshole.
376
00:19:26,514 --> 00:19:27,931
Okay then.
377
00:19:28,016 --> 00:19:29,641
Play Quintana and
O'Brien next week.
378
00:19:29,726 --> 00:19:31,643
They should be pushovers.
379
00:19:33,188 --> 00:19:35,272
Man, would you just...
380
00:19:35,356 --> 00:19:37,107
Just take it easy, man.
381
00:19:37,192 --> 00:19:39,485
You know, that's your answer
for everything, Dude.
382
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,446
Let me point out something.
Pacifism is not...
383
00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:45,365
Look at our current situation
with that camel fucker in Iraq.
384
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,409
Pacifism is not something
to hide behind.
385
00:19:47,494 --> 00:19:49,870
Just take it easy, man.
386
00:19:50,997 --> 00:19:52,331
I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
387
00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:55,876
- Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
- Calmer than you are.
388
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,878
Will you just take it easy?
389
00:19:58,713 --> 00:20:00,506
Calmer than you are.
390
00:20:04,844 --> 00:20:06,470
Dude, this is Smokey.
391
00:20:06,554 --> 00:20:08,472
Look, I don't wanna be
a hard-on about this,
392
00:20:08,556 --> 00:20:09,807
and I know
it wasn't your fault,
393
00:20:09,891 --> 00:20:11,475
but I just thought
it was fair to tell you
394
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:13,769
that Gilbert and I will be
submitting this to the league
395
00:20:13,853 --> 00:20:16,063
and asking them
to set aside the round.
396
00:20:16,147 --> 00:20:18,816
I don't know,
maybe forfeit it to us.
397
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:22,152
So, like I say, just thought,
you know, fair warning.
398
00:20:22,237 --> 00:20:23,695
Tell Walter.
399
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:25,030
I'm sorry.
400
00:20:26,908 --> 00:20:29,243
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Brandt at...
401
00:20:30,912 --> 00:20:32,788
Well, at Mr. Lebowski's office.
402
00:20:32,872 --> 00:20:35,374
Please call us
as soon as it's convenient.
403
00:20:37,126 --> 00:20:39,169
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Mel Zelnicker
404
00:20:39,254 --> 00:20:40,712
of the Southern Cal
Bowling League.
405
00:20:40,797 --> 00:20:46,051
I just got an informal report
that a member of your team,
a Walter Sobchak,
406
00:20:46,135 --> 00:20:48,387
drew a firearm
during league play.
407
00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:50,055
If this is true, of course,
408
00:20:50,139 --> 00:20:51,849
it contravenes a number of
the league's bylaws
409
00:20:51,933 --> 00:20:53,642
and also article 27
of the league...
410
00:20:55,103 --> 00:20:57,396
- Dude.
- Hey, Marty.
411
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,231
Dude, I finally got...
412
00:20:59,315 --> 00:21:01,608
I got the venue I wanted.
413
00:21:02,151 --> 00:21:05,612
I'm performing
my dance quintet,
you know, my cycle,
414
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:08,448
at Crane Jackson's Fountain Street Theater
on Tuesday night.
415
00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:12,786
And, well, I'd love it if
you came and gave me notes.
416
00:21:13,621 --> 00:21:15,330
I'll be there, man.
417
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:20,502
Dude, tomorrow's
already the tenth.
418
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,130
Far out.
419
00:21:25,758 --> 00:21:27,926
Oh. Oh, all right. Okay.
420
00:21:28,011 --> 00:21:30,804
Just slip the rent
under my door.
421
00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:37,019
...serious infraction
and examine your standing.
422
00:21:37,103 --> 00:21:38,604
Thank you.
423
00:21:40,189 --> 00:21:42,816
Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again.
424
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:46,320
Please do call us
as soon as you get in
and I'll send the limo.
425
00:21:46,404 --> 00:21:49,990
I hope you're not avoiding
this call because of the rug,
426
00:21:50,074 --> 00:21:52,743
which I assure you
is not a problem.
427
00:21:52,827 --> 00:21:55,454
We need your help, and...
428
00:21:55,538 --> 00:21:59,499
Well, we would very
much like to see you.
Thank you. It's Brandt.
429
00:22:00,835 --> 00:22:02,294
We've had some
terrible news.
430
00:22:02,378 --> 00:22:04,588
Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion
in the west wing.
431
00:22:09,052 --> 00:22:10,552
Mr. Lebowski.
432
00:22:17,644 --> 00:22:18,810
Funny.
433
00:22:20,021 --> 00:22:23,815
I can look back on
a life of achievement,
434
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:26,109
challenges met,
435
00:22:26,194 --> 00:22:28,236
competitors bested,
436
00:22:28,321 --> 00:22:30,030
obstacles overcome.
437
00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:34,993
I've accomplished
more than most men
438
00:22:35,078 --> 00:22:37,371
and without
the use of my legs.
439
00:22:42,043 --> 00:22:44,836
What makes a man,
Mr. Lebowski?
440
00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:47,547
- Dude.
- Huh?
441
00:22:49,592 --> 00:22:52,260
Oh, I don't know, sir.
442
00:22:52,345 --> 00:22:55,222
Is it being prepared
to do the right thing,
443
00:22:57,350 --> 00:22:59,017
whatever the cost?
444
00:22:59,852 --> 00:23:01,979
Isn't that what
makes a man?
445
00:23:03,106 --> 00:23:05,607
Sure, that and
a pair of testicles.
446
00:23:06,192 --> 00:23:07,985
You're joking,
447
00:23:10,238 --> 00:23:11,863
but perhaps you're right.
448
00:23:11,948 --> 00:23:13,865
You mind if I do a Jay?
449
00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:16,952
Bunny.
450
00:23:19,038 --> 00:23:20,372
Excuse me?
451
00:23:20,707 --> 00:23:22,249
Bunny Lebowski.
452
00:23:23,376 --> 00:23:25,502
She is the light of my life.
453
00:23:27,088 --> 00:23:29,589
Are you surprised
at my tears, sir?
454
00:23:31,509 --> 00:23:33,385
Oh, fucking A.
455
00:23:33,469 --> 00:23:35,971
Strong men also cry.
456
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,600
Strong men also cry.
457
00:23:43,646 --> 00:23:46,106
I received
this fax this morning.
458
00:23:49,068 --> 00:23:52,696
As you can see,
it is a ransom note.
459
00:23:53,656 --> 00:23:55,699
"We have Bunny."
460
00:23:55,783 --> 00:24:00,037
Written by men who were
unable to achieve on a
level field of play.
461
00:24:00,121 --> 00:24:02,748
"Gather $1 million..."
462
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:06,251
- Cowards!
- "...in unmarked, nonconsecutive 20s."
463
00:24:06,335 --> 00:24:09,046
- Weaklings!
- "Await instructions."
464
00:24:09,172 --> 00:24:10,922
- Bums!
- "No funny stuff."
465
00:24:12,008 --> 00:24:14,176
- Bummer.
- Huh?
466
00:24:15,428 --> 00:24:19,139
This is a bummer, man.
That's... That's a bummer.
467
00:24:19,932 --> 00:24:22,642
Brandt will fill you in
on the details.
468
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,953
Mr. Lebowski is prepared
to make a generous offer
to you to act as courier
469
00:24:42,038 --> 00:24:44,581
once we get instructions
for the money.
470
00:24:44,665 --> 00:24:45,832
Why me, man?
471
00:24:45,917 --> 00:24:51,421
He believes the culprits
might be the very people
who soiled your rug
472
00:24:51,506 --> 00:24:56,426
and you are in a unique
position to confirm or
disconfirm that suspicion.
473
00:24:56,511 --> 00:24:58,261
He thinks the carpet pissers
did this?
474
00:24:58,346 --> 00:25:00,263
Well, Dude,
we just don't know.
475
00:26:31,439 --> 00:26:34,608
♫ Welcome to the Hotel California
476
00:26:35,484 --> 00:26:37,402
♫ Such a lovely place
477
00:26:37,486 --> 00:26:39,362
Fucking Quintana.
478
00:26:40,323 --> 00:26:42,657
That creep can roll, man.
479
00:26:42,783 --> 00:26:45,785
- Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
- Yeah.
480
00:26:46,746 --> 00:26:49,664
No, he's a sex offender
with a record.
481
00:26:49,749 --> 00:26:52,709
He did six months in Chino
for exposing himself
to an eight-year-old.
482
00:26:54,212 --> 00:26:56,087
When he moved to Hollywood,
he had to go door-to-door
483
00:26:56,172 --> 00:26:57,964
to tell everyone
he was a pederast.
484
00:26:58,925 --> 00:27:02,427
- What's a pederast, Walter?
- Shut the fuck up, Donny.
485
00:27:04,764 --> 00:27:07,349
So, how much
did he give you?
486
00:27:07,433 --> 00:27:10,685
20 grand, man. And, of course,
I still get to keep the rug.
487
00:27:10,811 --> 00:27:12,145
- Just for making a hand-off?
- Yeah.
488
00:27:12,230 --> 00:27:14,606
They gave Dude a beeper.
489
00:27:15,608 --> 00:27:18,401
- So whenever these guys call...
- What if it's during a game?
490
00:27:18,486 --> 00:27:21,112
Oh, I told them if it was during
league play...
491
00:27:21,197 --> 00:27:22,322
What's during league play?
492
00:27:22,406 --> 00:27:24,866
Life does not stop and start
at your convenience,
493
00:27:24,951 --> 00:27:26,868
you miserable
piece of shit.
494
00:27:26,953 --> 00:27:28,912
- I figure...
- What's wrong with Walter, Dude?
495
00:27:28,996 --> 00:27:31,498
I figure it's easy money, you know.
It's all pretty harmless.
496
00:27:31,582 --> 00:27:33,416
She probably
kidnapped herself.
497
00:27:34,377 --> 00:27:37,254
- What do you mean, Dude?
- Rug-peers did not do this.
498
00:27:37,338 --> 00:27:42,217
Look at it. A young
trophy wife marries
this guy for his money.
499
00:27:42,301 --> 00:27:45,136
She figures he isn't
giving her enough, you know.
500
00:27:45,221 --> 00:27:46,972
She owes money
all over town.
501
00:27:47,056 --> 00:27:49,224
That fucking bitch!
502
00:27:49,308 --> 00:27:51,101
It's all a goddamn
fake, man.
503
00:27:51,185 --> 00:27:53,103
It's like Lenin said,
504
00:27:53,187 --> 00:27:58,149
you look for the person
who will benefit and, you know...
505
00:27:58,234 --> 00:28:00,860
- I Am the Walrus?
- You know, you'll...
506
00:28:01,529 --> 00:28:03,530
- You know what I'm trying to say.
- I Am the Walrus.
507
00:28:03,614 --> 00:28:06,408
- That fucking bitch!
- Oh, yeah!
508
00:28:06,492 --> 00:28:07,909
- I Am the Walrus.
- That's...
509
00:28:07,994 --> 00:28:09,494
Shut the fuck up,
Donny!
510
00:28:09,578 --> 00:28:12,622
V. I. Lenin, Vladimir
Ilyich Ulyanov!
511
00:28:12,707 --> 00:28:13,873
What the fuck is
he talking about?
512
00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,792
Fucking exactly what
happened to those...
513
00:28:15,876 --> 00:28:17,419
That makes me fucking sick!
514
00:28:17,545 --> 00:28:20,463
- Well, what do you care, Walter?
- Those rich fucks.
515
00:28:20,548 --> 00:28:22,507
This whole fucking thing.
516
00:28:22,591 --> 00:28:25,343
I did not watch my buddies
die face down in the muck
517
00:28:25,428 --> 00:28:27,178
so that this fucking strumpet,
518
00:28:27,263 --> 00:28:28,430
this fucking whore,
could waltz around...
519
00:28:28,514 --> 00:28:30,932
I don't see any connection
with Vietnam, man.
520
00:28:31,017 --> 00:28:32,642
Well, there isn't a
literal connection, Dude.
521
00:28:32,727 --> 00:28:34,644
No, Walter, face it,
there isn't any connection.
522
00:28:34,729 --> 00:28:36,187
- Your roll.
- Have it your way.
523
00:28:36,272 --> 00:28:37,605
- Your roll.
- But my point is...
524
00:28:37,732 --> 00:28:40,483
- My point is...
- Are you ready to be fucked, man?
525
00:28:42,153 --> 00:28:44,946
I see you rolled your way
into the semis.
526
00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:48,325
Dios mío, man.
527
00:28:48,409 --> 00:28:51,244
Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.
528
00:28:51,746 --> 00:28:57,542
Yeah? Well, you know,
that's just like your opinion, man.
529
00:28:58,753 --> 00:29:01,838
Let me tell you
something, pendejo.
530
00:29:01,922 --> 00:29:04,132
You pull any of your
crazy shit with us,
531
00:29:04,216 --> 00:29:07,010
you flash a piece out
on the lanes,
532
00:29:07,094 --> 00:29:10,013
I'll take it away from you
and stick it up your ass
533
00:29:10,097 --> 00:29:13,308
and pull the fucking trigger
till it goes click.
534
00:29:15,269 --> 00:29:16,519
Jesus.
535
00:29:16,604 --> 00:29:18,271
You said it, man.
536
00:29:18,356 --> 00:29:20,607
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
537
00:29:26,906 --> 00:29:28,281
Eight-year-olds, Dude.
538
00:29:51,472 --> 00:29:54,641
♫ La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
539
00:29:55,017 --> 00:29:57,143
♫ La-la-la, la, la, la, la
540
00:29:57,228 --> 00:29:58,853
♫ La-la-la, la, la, la, la
541
00:29:58,938 --> 00:30:01,439
♫ La-la-la, la, la, la, la
542
00:30:01,774 --> 00:30:03,525
♫ La-la, la-la
543
00:30:05,694 --> 00:30:07,320
♫ La-la-la
544
00:30:08,572 --> 00:30:10,615
♫ La-la-la, la-la-la
545
00:30:10,699 --> 00:30:12,075
♫ La-la, la-la
546
00:30:15,037 --> 00:30:17,247
♫ The man in me will do
547
00:30:18,332 --> 00:30:20,834
♫ Nearly any task
548
00:30:21,669 --> 00:30:24,754
♫ And as for compensation
549
00:30:24,839 --> 00:30:26,923
♫ There's little he would ask
550
00:30:28,509 --> 00:30:31,094
♫ Take a woman like you
551
00:30:31,887 --> 00:30:33,304
♫ To get through
552
00:30:33,764 --> 00:30:35,849
♫ To the man in me
553
00:30:38,894 --> 00:30:42,021
♫ Storm clouds are raging
554
00:30:42,523 --> 00:30:45,066
♫ All around my door
555
00:30:46,152 --> 00:30:48,027
♫ I think to myself
556
00:30:48,112 --> 00:30:51,573
♫ I might not take it anymore
557
00:30:52,366 --> 00:30:55,285
♫ Take a woman like your kind
558
00:30:55,703 --> 00:30:59,747
♫ To find the man in me
559
00:31:02,501 --> 00:31:04,210
♫ But, oh
560
00:31:05,463 --> 00:31:07,380
♫ What a wonderful feeling
561
00:31:10,009 --> 00:31:11,801
♫ Just to know
562
00:31:11,886 --> 00:31:14,345
♫ That you are near
563
00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:20,727
♫ Sets my heart a-reeling
564
00:31:22,104 --> 00:31:24,981
♫ From my toes
565
00:31:25,524 --> 00:31:28,568
♫ Up to my ears
566
00:31:29,445 --> 00:31:32,697
♫ The man in me
will hide sometimes
567
00:31:32,781 --> 00:31:34,282
They called about 80 minutes ago.
568
00:31:34,366 --> 00:31:36,993
They want you
to take the money,
drive north on the 405.
569
00:31:37,077 --> 00:31:38,411
They will call you
on the portable phone
570
00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:40,580
with instructions
in about 40 minutes.
571
00:31:40,664 --> 00:31:41,748
One person only.
572
00:31:41,832 --> 00:31:44,250
They were very clear on that,
or I'd go with you.
One person only.
573
00:31:44,376 --> 00:31:47,378
- What happened to your jaw?
- Oh, nothing, man.
574
00:31:48,923 --> 00:31:50,548
Here's the money.
575
00:31:51,383 --> 00:31:53,009
And the phone.
576
00:31:53,093 --> 00:31:55,929
Please, Dude, follow
whatever instructions they give.
577
00:31:56,013 --> 00:31:58,806
- All right.
- Her life is in your hands.
578
00:31:58,891 --> 00:32:00,517
Man, don't say that.
579
00:32:00,601 --> 00:32:03,186
Mr. Lebowski
asked me to repeat that,
her life is in your hands.
580
00:32:03,270 --> 00:32:04,604
Oh, shit, man.
581
00:32:04,688 --> 00:32:07,023
Her life is in
your hands, Dude.
582
00:32:07,107 --> 00:32:09,776
Report back to us
as soon as it's done.
583
00:32:19,286 --> 00:32:23,540
- Where the fuck are you going, man?
- Take the ringer, I'll drive.
584
00:32:23,624 --> 00:32:25,833
- The what?
- The ringer.
585
00:32:25,918 --> 00:32:27,544
The ringer, Dude.
586
00:32:35,302 --> 00:32:37,262
- What the...
- Have they called yet?
587
00:32:37,346 --> 00:32:39,138
What the hell is this?
588
00:32:39,223 --> 00:32:42,100
My dirty undies, Dude.
The laundry. The whites.
589
00:32:42,184 --> 00:32:46,312
Walter, I'm sure there's
a reason you brought
your dirty undies, man.
590
00:32:46,397 --> 00:32:47,689
That's right, Dude.
The weight.
591
00:32:47,773 --> 00:32:49,065
The ringer cannot look empty.
592
00:32:49,149 --> 00:32:51,234
Walter, what the fuck
are you thinking, man?
593
00:32:51,318 --> 00:32:53,236
You're right, Dude.
I got to thinking.
594
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,155
I got to thinking,
why should we settle for
a measly fucking 20 grand...
595
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,450
We? What the fuck, "we"?
You said you just wanted to come along.
596
00:32:59,535 --> 00:33:01,911
My point, Dude, is why should we
settle for 20 grand
597
00:33:01,996 --> 00:33:04,664
when we can keep the entire million?
Am I wrong?
598
00:33:04,748 --> 00:33:07,834
Yes, you're wrong. This
isn't a fucking game, man.
599
00:33:07,918 --> 00:33:10,253
Oh, but it is a game.
You said so yourself.
600
00:33:10,337 --> 00:33:12,547
- She kidnapped herself.
- I said I thought...
601
00:33:18,804 --> 00:33:20,847
- Dude, here.
- Who is this?
602
00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:25,226
Dude. The bagman, man.
Where do you want us to go?
603
00:33:25,311 --> 00:33:26,352
Us?
604
00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:29,063
Shit!
605
00:33:30,983 --> 00:33:33,610
Yeah, you know,
me and the driver.
606
00:33:33,694 --> 00:33:37,447
I'm not handling the money,
driving the car and talking
on the phone all by my...
607
00:33:37,531 --> 00:33:38,781
Shut the fuck up!
608
00:33:38,866 --> 00:33:41,868
- Dude, are you fucking this up?
- Who is that?
609
00:33:43,203 --> 00:33:45,788
That is the driver.
I told you...
610
00:33:47,541 --> 00:33:49,459
- Oh, shit!
- What the fuck's going on?
611
00:33:49,543 --> 00:33:50,918
- Walter...
- What the fuck is going on?
612
00:33:51,003 --> 00:33:55,298
He hung up, man.
You fucked it up.
You fucked it up!
613
00:33:55,424 --> 00:33:57,967
- Her life was in our hands, man.
- Easy, Dude.
614
00:33:58,052 --> 00:34:01,929
We're screwed now.
We don't get shit.
They're gonna kill her.
615
00:34:02,014 --> 00:34:04,724
- We're fucked, Walter.
- Nothing is fucked, Dude.
616
00:34:04,808 --> 00:34:07,310
Come on.
You're being very un-Dude.
617
00:34:07,394 --> 00:34:09,812
They'll call back.
Look, she kidnapped...
618
00:34:11,023 --> 00:34:12,982
You see? Nothing's
fucked here, Dude.
619
00:34:13,067 --> 00:34:16,944
Nothing is fucked.
They're a bunch of
fucking amateurs.
620
00:34:17,029 --> 00:34:19,530
Walter, will you just
shut the fuck up?
621
00:34:19,615 --> 00:34:21,991
Don't say peep while
I'm doing business here, man.
622
00:34:22,076 --> 00:34:24,035
Okay, Dude.
Have it your way.
623
00:34:26,121 --> 00:34:28,581
- But they're amateurs.
- Fuck.
624
00:34:30,167 --> 00:34:31,334
Dude.
625
00:34:31,418 --> 00:34:34,671
Okay, we proceed but only if there
is no funny stuff.
626
00:34:34,755 --> 00:34:36,297
Yeah, yeah.
627
00:34:36,382 --> 00:34:38,466
So no funny stuff. Okay?
628
00:34:38,550 --> 00:34:41,135
Just tell me where the fuck
you want us to go.
629
00:34:44,765 --> 00:34:46,974
That was the sign, man.
630
00:34:47,059 --> 00:34:50,770
So, all we gotta do
is get her back.
631
00:34:50,854 --> 00:34:53,231
No one's in a position
to complain.
632
00:34:53,315 --> 00:34:55,733
- We keep the baksheesh.
- Yeah, terrific, Walter.
633
00:34:55,818 --> 00:34:58,486
But you haven't told me
how we're gonna get her
back. Where is she?
634
00:34:58,570 --> 00:35:00,405
That's the simple part, Dude.
635
00:35:00,489 --> 00:35:04,784
We make the hand-off,
I grab one of them and
beat it out of him. Huh?
636
00:35:05,911 --> 00:35:08,538
That's a great plan, Walter.
637
00:35:08,622 --> 00:35:10,748
That's fucking ingenious,
if I understand it correctly.
638
00:35:10,833 --> 00:35:12,792
It's a Swiss fucking watch.
639
00:35:12,876 --> 00:35:16,003
That's right, Dude. The beauty of this
is its simplicity.
640
00:35:16,088 --> 00:35:19,340
Once a plan gets too complex,
everything can go wrong.
641
00:35:19,425 --> 00:35:21,175
If there's one thing
I learned in Nam...
642
00:35:25,139 --> 00:35:26,222
Dude.
643
00:35:26,306 --> 00:35:28,141
You are coming
to wooden bridge.
644
00:35:28,225 --> 00:35:29,392
When you cross the bridge,
645
00:35:29,476 --> 00:35:32,770
you throw the bag
from the left window
of the moving car.
646
00:35:32,855 --> 00:35:33,896
You're being watched.
647
00:35:35,232 --> 00:35:37,567
- Fuck.
- What'd he say? Where's the hand-off?
648
00:35:37,651 --> 00:35:39,318
There is no fucking
hand-off, man.
649
00:35:39,403 --> 00:35:42,071
At the wooden bridge
we throw the money
out of the car.
650
00:35:42,156 --> 00:35:44,991
We throw the money
out of the moving car.
651
00:35:45,534 --> 00:35:48,202
We can't do that, Dude.
That fucks up our plan.
652
00:35:48,287 --> 00:35:50,204
Well, call them up
and explain it to them, Walter.
653
00:35:50,289 --> 00:35:51,539
Your plan is so fucking simple,
654
00:35:51,623 --> 00:35:53,416
I'm sure they'll
fucking understand it.
655
00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:54,625
That's the beauty of it.
656
00:35:54,752 --> 00:35:57,128
- Wooden bridge, huh?
- Throw them the money, Walter.
657
00:35:57,212 --> 00:35:58,755
We're not fucking around, man.
658
00:35:58,839 --> 00:36:01,090
Okay, Dude, the bridge
is coming up. Give me
the ringer, chop-chop.
659
00:36:01,175 --> 00:36:02,717
Fuck that.
Walter, I love you,
660
00:36:02,801 --> 00:36:05,887
but sooner or later you're
gonna have to face the fact
you're a goddamn moron.
661
00:36:05,971 --> 00:36:08,306
- Okay, Dude. No time to argue.
- Hey, man!
662
00:36:08,390 --> 00:36:10,767
- Here's the bridge.
- Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter!
663
00:36:10,851 --> 00:36:13,561
- Hey, Walter!
- Here goes the ringer!
664
00:36:14,855 --> 00:36:17,064
- What the fuck?
- Okay, Dude, you're wheel.
665
00:36:17,149 --> 00:36:19,317
- Hey, man, what the fuck?
- At 15 mph, I roll out.
666
00:36:19,401 --> 00:36:21,319
I double back, grab one of them
and beat it out of him.
667
00:36:21,403 --> 00:36:22,612
- The Uzi.
- Uzi.
668
00:36:22,696 --> 00:36:24,781
You didn't think I was
rolling out of here naked, did you?
669
00:36:24,865 --> 00:36:27,492
- Walter, please!
- Fifteen, Dude! This is it! Let's take that hill!
670
00:36:27,576 --> 00:36:28,868
Walter!
671
00:36:51,683 --> 00:36:54,393
We have it!
672
00:36:54,478 --> 00:36:56,979
We have it!
673
00:36:57,064 --> 00:36:59,023
We have it!
674
00:37:13,580 --> 00:37:15,581
Fuck it, Dude.
675
00:37:15,666 --> 00:37:17,250
Let's go bowling.
676
00:37:55,747 --> 00:37:59,041
Aitz chaim he, Dude,
as the ex used to say.
677
00:37:59,126 --> 00:38:00,918
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
678
00:38:01,003 --> 00:38:04,088
What the fuck are we
gonna tell Lebowski?
679
00:38:04,172 --> 00:38:06,299
Oh, him.
680
00:38:06,383 --> 00:38:09,385
I don't know.
What exactly is the problem?
681
00:38:09,469 --> 00:38:11,304
The problem is...
682
00:38:12,598 --> 00:38:14,348
What do you mean,
what's the...
683
00:38:14,433 --> 00:38:15,975
There was no...
684
00:38:16,810 --> 00:38:18,394
We didn't...
685
00:38:19,479 --> 00:38:21,689
They're gonna kill
that poor woman, man!
686
00:38:21,773 --> 00:38:23,608
What the fuck
are you talking about?
687
00:38:23,692 --> 00:38:26,235
The poor woman,
that poor slut kidnapped herself.
688
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:27,612
Come on, Dude.
You said so yourself.
689
00:38:27,696 --> 00:38:29,989
Man, I said I thought
she kidnapped herself.
690
00:38:30,073 --> 00:38:31,574
You're the one who's
so fucking certain.
691
00:38:31,658 --> 00:38:34,201
That's right, Dude.
100% certain.
692
00:38:34,286 --> 00:38:35,995
They posted the next round
for the tournament.
693
00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:37,330
Donny, shut the fuck...
694
00:38:37,414 --> 00:38:39,415
- When do we play?
- This Saturday. Quintana and...
695
00:38:39,499 --> 00:38:41,250
Saturday? Well, they'll
have to reschedule.
696
00:38:41,335 --> 00:38:43,669
Walter, what am I
gonna tell Lebowski?
697
00:38:43,754 --> 00:38:47,089
I told that fuck down at the league office.
Who's in charge of scheduling?
698
00:38:47,174 --> 00:38:48,716
- Walter!
- Burkhalter.
699
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,761
I told that kraut a fucking thousand times,
I don't roll on shabbos!
700
00:38:51,845 --> 00:38:53,137
- Walter!
- They already posted it.
701
00:38:53,221 --> 00:38:54,805
Well, they can
fucking un-post it!
702
00:38:54,890 --> 00:38:58,184
Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill
that poor woman, man!
703
00:38:58,310 --> 00:39:00,561
- What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
- Come on, Dude.
704
00:39:00,646 --> 00:39:03,648
Eventually she'll get tired
of her little game and,
you know, wander on back.
705
00:39:03,732 --> 00:39:05,274
How come you don't roll
on Saturday, Walter?
706
00:39:05,359 --> 00:39:06,484
I'm shomer shabbos.
707
00:39:06,610 --> 00:39:08,527
- What's that, Walter?
- Yeah, and in the meantime,
708
00:39:08,612 --> 00:39:10,029
what do I tell Lebowski?
709
00:39:10,113 --> 00:39:12,448
Saturday, Donny, is shabbos,
the Jewish day of rest.
710
00:39:12,532 --> 00:39:14,992
That means I don't work,
I don't drive a car,
711
00:39:15,077 --> 00:39:16,577
I don't fucking
ride in a car,
712
00:39:16,662 --> 00:39:18,496
I don't handle money,
I don't turn on the oven
713
00:39:18,580 --> 00:39:20,706
and I sure as shit
don't fucking roll!
714
00:39:21,625 --> 00:39:22,708
Sheesh.
715
00:39:22,793 --> 00:39:24,335
Shomer shabbos!
716
00:39:26,254 --> 00:39:28,923
- Walter, how am I gonna...
- Shomer fucking shabbos!
717
00:39:29,049 --> 00:39:32,301
- Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here.
- Oh, come on, Dude.
718
00:39:34,346 --> 00:39:36,222
Dude! Dude!
719
00:39:38,475 --> 00:39:39,809
You just tell him...
720
00:39:39,893 --> 00:39:42,269
Tell him we made the drop
and everything went, you know...
721
00:39:42,354 --> 00:39:43,396
Oh, yeah.
How'd it go?
722
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,356
Went all right.
Dude's car got
a little dinged up.
723
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,817
Walter, we didn't make
the fucking hand-off, man!
724
00:39:47,901 --> 00:39:49,986
They didn't get
the fucking money!
725
00:39:50,070 --> 00:39:51,278
And they're gonna...
They're gonna...
726
00:39:51,363 --> 00:39:52,947
They're gonna kill
that poor woman.
727
00:39:53,031 --> 00:39:55,700
They're gonna kill
that poor woman!
728
00:39:55,784 --> 00:39:57,243
Walter, if you can't
ride in a car,
729
00:39:57,327 --> 00:39:58,703
then how do you get
around on shabbos?
730
00:39:58,787 --> 00:40:00,830
Really, Dude,
you surprise me.
731
00:40:00,914 --> 00:40:02,206
They're not gonna kill shit.
732
00:40:02,290 --> 00:40:03,416
They're not gonna do shit.
733
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:05,126
What can they do to her?
Bunch of fucking amateurs.
734
00:40:05,210 --> 00:40:07,044
And meanwhile,
look at the bottom line.
735
00:40:07,129 --> 00:40:09,380
Who's sitting on a million
fucking dollars?
736
00:40:09,464 --> 00:40:10,589
- Am I wrong?
- Walter.
737
00:40:10,674 --> 00:40:13,718
Who's got a fucking
million fucking dollars
sitting in the trunk of our car?
738
00:40:13,844 --> 00:40:16,846
- Our car, Walter?
- And what do they got? My dirty undies.
739
00:40:16,930 --> 00:40:18,597
My fucking whites!
740
00:40:24,688 --> 00:40:26,022
Say, Dude?
741
00:40:26,898 --> 00:40:28,816
Where is your car?
742
00:40:28,942 --> 00:40:32,069
- Who's got your undies, Walter?
- Where's your car, Dude?
743
00:40:32,154 --> 00:40:34,280
You don't know,
Walter?
744
00:40:34,990 --> 00:40:38,659
It was parked in a handicap zone.
Perhaps they towed it.
745
00:40:39,578 --> 00:40:42,288
You fucking know
it's been stolen.
746
00:40:42,372 --> 00:40:45,291
Well, certainly that's
a possibility, Dude.
747
00:40:46,668 --> 00:40:48,085
Oh, fuck it.
748
00:40:50,630 --> 00:40:54,050
- Where you going, Dude?
- I'm going home, Donny.
749
00:40:54,134 --> 00:40:57,303
- Phone's ringing, Dude.
- Thank you, Donny!
750
00:41:12,986 --> 00:41:14,111
Yeah.
751
00:41:15,489 --> 00:41:20,618
Green with some brown,
rust coloration.
752
00:41:21,828 --> 00:41:24,955
And was there anything
of value in the car?
753
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:26,499
Oh, yeah.
754
00:41:27,876 --> 00:41:32,213
A tape deck, some Creedence
tapes, and there was a...
755
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,342
My briefcase.
756
00:41:38,929 --> 00:41:40,554
In the briefcase?
757
00:41:42,682 --> 00:41:43,849
Papers.
758
00:41:44,768 --> 00:41:46,185
Just papers.
759
00:41:47,187 --> 00:41:50,564
You know, my papers,
business papers.
760
00:41:52,234 --> 00:41:55,569
- And what do you do, sir?
- I'm unemployed.
761
00:41:58,949 --> 00:42:01,867
My rug was also stolen.
762
00:42:01,952 --> 00:42:04,245
Your rug was in the car?
763
00:42:04,329 --> 00:42:06,038
No. Here.
764
00:42:06,706 --> 00:42:08,374
Separate incidents.
765
00:42:10,377 --> 00:42:12,128
The Dude is not in.
766
00:42:12,212 --> 00:42:15,047
Do you find them much,
these stolen cars?
767
00:42:16,133 --> 00:42:17,466
Sometimes.
768
00:42:18,301 --> 00:42:20,761
Wouldn't hold out much hope
for the tape deck though.
769
00:42:20,846 --> 00:42:22,555
Or the Creedence.
770
00:42:22,722 --> 00:42:26,684
What about the briefcase?
771
00:42:27,227 --> 00:42:28,644
Mr. Lebowski,
I'd like to see you.
772
00:42:28,728 --> 00:42:30,646
Call when you get home
and I'll send a car for you.
773
00:42:30,730 --> 00:42:34,358
My name is Maude Lebowski.
I'm the one who took your rug.
774
00:42:34,442 --> 00:42:37,528
Well, guess we can
close the file on that one.
775
00:43:29,122 --> 00:43:32,041
I'll be with you in
a moment, Mr. Lebowski.
776
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,979
Does the female form
make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
777
00:43:54,064 --> 00:43:57,858
- Is that what this is a picture of?
- In a sense, yes.
778
00:43:57,943 --> 00:44:00,611
My art has been commended
as being strongly vaginal,
779
00:44:00,695 --> 00:44:01,779
which bothers some men.
780
00:44:01,863 --> 00:44:04,823
The word itself makes
some men uncomfortable.
781
00:44:05,325 --> 00:44:07,409
- Vagina.
- Oh, yeah?
782
00:44:07,494 --> 00:44:09,912
Yes, they don't like
hearing it and find it difficult to say,
783
00:44:09,996 --> 00:44:11,372
whereas without
batting an eye,
784
00:44:11,456 --> 00:44:15,668
a man will refer to his dick,
or his rod or his johnson.
785
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:17,920
"Johnson"?
786
00:44:18,004 --> 00:44:20,714
All right, Mr. Lebowski,
let's get down to cases.
787
00:44:20,799 --> 00:44:23,259
My father told me he agreed
to let you have the rug,
788
00:44:23,343 --> 00:44:27,304
but as it was a gift
from me to my late mother,
it was not his to give.
789
00:44:27,389 --> 00:44:29,306
Now, your face.
790
00:44:30,558 --> 00:44:32,476
As for this kidnapping.
791
00:44:32,602 --> 00:44:33,602
Huh?
792
00:44:33,687 --> 00:44:37,106
Yes, I know all about it,
and I know that you acted
as courier.
793
00:44:37,190 --> 00:44:40,442
Let me tell you something.
The whole thing stinks to high heaven.
794
00:44:40,527 --> 00:44:44,738
Yeah, right, but let me
explain something about the rug.
795
00:44:44,823 --> 00:44:47,032
Do you like sex,
Mr. Lebowski?
796
00:44:48,034 --> 00:44:51,287
- Excuse me?
- Sex, the physical act of love. Coitus.
797
00:44:51,413 --> 00:44:54,623
- Do you like it?
- I was talking about my rug.
798
00:44:54,708 --> 00:44:57,251
You're not interested in sex?
799
00:44:57,335 --> 00:44:59,628
- You mean coitus?
- I like it, too.
800
00:44:59,713 --> 00:45:01,964
It's a male myth about
feminists that we hate sex.
801
00:45:02,048 --> 00:45:04,466
It can be a natural,
zesty enterprise.
802
00:45:04,551 --> 00:45:05,968
However, there are
some people,
803
00:45:06,052 --> 00:45:08,971
it is called satyriasis in men,
nymphomania in women,
804
00:45:09,055 --> 00:45:12,224
who engage in it compulsively
and without joy.
805
00:45:12,309 --> 00:45:15,311
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.
806
00:45:15,395 --> 00:45:19,315
These unfortunate souls
cannot love, in the true
sense of the word.
807
00:45:19,399 --> 00:45:22,860
Our mutual acquaintance,
Bunny, is one of these.
808
00:45:22,944 --> 00:45:25,154
Listen, Maude,
809
00:45:25,238 --> 00:45:28,449
I'm sorry if your stepmother
is a nympho,
810
00:45:28,533 --> 00:45:31,910
but, you know, I don't see
what this has to do with...
811
00:45:31,995 --> 00:45:34,788
- You have any Kahlua?
- Take a look at this, sir.
812
00:45:38,335 --> 00:45:40,169
Oh, I know that guy.
813
00:45:41,755 --> 00:45:43,964
He's a nihilist.
814
00:45:45,550 --> 00:45:47,259
"Karl Hungus."
815
00:46:01,024 --> 00:46:02,441
- Hi.
- Hello.
816
00:46:02,525 --> 00:46:05,486
Mein dispatcher says
there is something
wrong with dein Kabel.
817
00:46:05,570 --> 00:46:06,695
Yeah. Come on in.
818
00:46:06,780 --> 00:46:09,198
I'm not really sure
exactly what's really
wrong with the cable.
819
00:46:09,282 --> 00:46:11,867
That's why they sent me.
I am an expert.
820
00:46:11,951 --> 00:46:13,285
The TV's in here.
821
00:46:13,328 --> 00:46:16,538
You recognize her, of course.
Helga, bring my tools.
822
00:46:19,459 --> 00:46:21,210
That's my friend Sherry.
823
00:46:21,294 --> 00:46:22,961
She just came over
to use the shower.
824
00:46:23,046 --> 00:46:25,381
The story is Iudicrous.
825
00:46:25,465 --> 00:46:28,425
My name is Karl.
Ich bin expert.
826
00:46:28,510 --> 00:46:30,552
You must be here
to fix the cable.
827
00:46:30,637 --> 00:46:33,514
Lord, you can imagine
where it goes from here.
828
00:46:33,598 --> 00:46:35,057
He fixes the cable?
829
00:46:35,141 --> 00:46:37,184
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
830
00:46:37,268 --> 00:46:40,562
Little matter to me that
this woman chose to pursue
a career in pornography,
831
00:46:40,647 --> 00:46:43,273
nor that she has been
banging Jackie Treehorn,
832
00:46:43,358 --> 00:46:45,109
to use the parlance
of our times.
833
00:46:45,193 --> 00:46:49,154
However, I am one of the two trustees
of the Lebowski Foundation,
834
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:50,906
the other being my father.
835
00:46:50,990 --> 00:46:52,950
The foundation takes
youngsters from Watts and...
836
00:46:53,034 --> 00:46:54,410
Shit, yeah. The achievers.
837
00:46:54,494 --> 00:46:58,205
Little Lebowski Urban
Achievers, yes, and proud
we are of all of them.
838
00:46:58,289 --> 00:47:02,126
I asked my father about
his withdrawal of $1 million
from the foundation account,
839
00:47:02,210 --> 00:47:04,044
and he told me
about this abduction,
840
00:47:04,129 --> 00:47:05,754
but I tell you
it is preposterous.
841
00:47:05,839 --> 00:47:09,758
This compulsive fornicator
is taking my father for
the proverbial ride.
842
00:47:09,843 --> 00:47:11,760
- Yeah, but my...
- I'm getting to your rug.
843
00:47:11,845 --> 00:47:13,595
My father and I
don't get along.
844
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:15,305
He doesn't approve
of my lifestyle and,
845
00:47:15,390 --> 00:47:17,057
needless to say,
I don't approve of his.
846
00:47:17,142 --> 00:47:20,936
However, I hardly
wish to make my father's
embezzlement a police matter.
847
00:47:21,020 --> 00:47:23,897
So I'm proposing that you
try to recover the money
848
00:47:23,982 --> 00:47:26,108
from the people
you delivered it to.
849
00:47:26,192 --> 00:47:29,111
Well, I could do that.
850
00:47:29,195 --> 00:47:31,071
If you successfully do so,
851
00:47:31,156 --> 00:47:36,410
I will compensate you
to the tune of 10% of
the recovered sum.
852
00:47:36,494 --> 00:47:38,495
- A hundred...
- Thousand. Yes.
853
00:47:38,580 --> 00:47:41,331
Bones or clams or
whatever you call them.
854
00:47:41,416 --> 00:47:45,669
- Yeah, but what about my...
- Your rug, yes.
855
00:47:45,753 --> 00:47:48,338
Well, with that money
you can buy any
number of rugs
856
00:47:48,423 --> 00:47:51,049
that don't have sentimental
value for me.
857
00:47:51,134 --> 00:47:53,635
And I am sorry about
that crack on the jaw.
858
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:56,180
Oh, that's fine.
That doesn't even...
859
00:47:56,264 --> 00:47:58,807
Here's the name and
number of a doctor who
will look at it for you.
860
00:47:58,892 --> 00:48:00,476
You will receive no bill.
861
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,144
He's a good man
and thorough.
862
00:48:02,228 --> 00:48:03,812
That's thoughtful but...
863
00:48:03,897 --> 00:48:07,399
Please see him, Jeffrey.
He's a good man and thorough.
864
00:48:09,027 --> 00:48:11,195
Oh, well, all right.
865
00:48:12,238 --> 00:48:13,864
So he says, "My wife's
a pain in the ass.
866
00:48:13,948 --> 00:48:16,366
"She's always busting
my frigging agates.
867
00:48:16,451 --> 00:48:19,661
"My daughter's married
to a loser bastard.
868
00:48:19,746 --> 00:48:23,624
"I got a rash so bad on my ass
I can't even sit down.
869
00:48:23,708 --> 00:48:25,834
"But you know me,
I can't complain."
870
00:48:26,002 --> 00:48:27,753
Oh, fucking A, man.
871
00:48:27,837 --> 00:48:30,589
I got a rash, man. Fucking A.
872
00:48:31,633 --> 00:48:34,176
I gotta tell you, Tone, man,
873
00:48:34,260 --> 00:48:37,387
earlier today I was really
feeling shitty, man.
874
00:48:37,472 --> 00:48:39,389
Really down in the dumps.
875
00:48:39,474 --> 00:48:40,849
Lost a little money...
876
00:48:40,934 --> 00:48:44,353
Hey, you know what?
Forget about it, huh?
Forget about it.
877
00:48:44,437 --> 00:48:45,687
Yeah, fuck it, man.
878
00:48:45,772 --> 00:48:48,607
You can't be worried about that shit.
Life goes on, man.
879
00:48:48,691 --> 00:48:51,401
Well, home, sweet home,
Mr. L.
880
00:48:54,113 --> 00:48:56,406
Hey, yo. Come here.
881
00:48:56,491 --> 00:48:58,992
Who's your friend
in the Volkswagen? Huh?
882
00:49:00,870 --> 00:49:03,080
Yeah.
He followed us here.
883
00:49:03,164 --> 00:49:06,083
When did he start...
Whoa! What the fuck?
884
00:49:06,167 --> 00:49:08,293
Get in the limo, you son of a bitch!
No arguments!
885
00:49:08,378 --> 00:49:11,255
Hey! Hey! Careful, man!
There's a beverage here!
886
00:49:12,924 --> 00:49:15,384
Start talking, and talk fast,
you lousy bum.
887
00:49:15,468 --> 00:49:17,302
We've been frantically
trying to reach you, Dude.
888
00:49:17,387 --> 00:49:19,930
Where is my goddamn money,
you bum?
889
00:49:21,474 --> 00:49:24,184
Well, we... I don't...
890
00:49:24,269 --> 00:49:26,562
They did not receive
the money, you nitwit!
891
00:49:26,646 --> 00:49:28,230
They did not
receive the money!
892
00:49:28,314 --> 00:49:30,607
Her life was
in your hands!
893
00:49:30,692 --> 00:49:32,234
This is our concern, Dude.
894
00:49:32,318 --> 00:49:34,361
No, man.
Nothing is fucked here.
895
00:49:34,445 --> 00:49:36,363
- Nothing is fucked?
- No, man.
896
00:49:36,447 --> 00:49:40,242
The goddamn plane
has crashed into
the mountain!
897
00:49:40,326 --> 00:49:44,580
Man, come on.
Who are you gonna
believe, those guys or...
898
00:49:44,664 --> 00:49:46,415
We dropped off the damn money.
899
00:49:46,499 --> 00:49:47,791
We?
900
00:49:49,085 --> 00:49:52,087
I, the royal we.
901
00:49:52,171 --> 00:49:53,505
You know. The editorial...
902
00:49:53,590 --> 00:49:55,632
I dropped off the money
exactly as per...
903
00:49:55,717 --> 00:49:59,469
Look, man, I've got
certain information. All right?
904
00:49:59,554 --> 00:50:02,055
Certain things have
come to light and...
905
00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:04,766
You know, has it ever
occurred to you
906
00:50:04,851 --> 00:50:10,272
that instead of, you know,
running around, blaming me...
907
00:50:10,356 --> 00:50:12,566
You know, given the nature
of all this new shit,
908
00:50:12,650 --> 00:50:18,488
you know, this could be
a lot more complex...
909
00:50:18,573 --> 00:50:23,535
I mean, it's not just...
It might not be just such
a simple... You know?
910
00:50:23,620 --> 00:50:27,122
What in God's holy name
are you blathering about?
911
00:50:27,206 --> 00:50:29,583
Well, I'll tell you what
I'm blathering about.
912
00:50:29,667 --> 00:50:31,627
I've got information, man.
913
00:50:31,711 --> 00:50:33,462
New shit has come to light.
914
00:50:33,546 --> 00:50:35,505
And, shit, man,
915
00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:39,384
she kidnapped herself.
916
00:50:42,388 --> 00:50:45,140
Well, sure, man.
Look at it. You know?
917
00:50:45,224 --> 00:50:49,144
A young trophy wife,
in the parlance of
our times, you know.
918
00:50:49,228 --> 00:50:54,399
She owes money
all over town, including
to known pornographers.
919
00:50:56,319 --> 00:50:58,570
And that's cool.
That's cool.
920
00:50:59,447 --> 00:51:03,283
I'm saying she
needs money, man.
921
00:51:03,368 --> 00:51:07,037
And, you know,
of course they're gonna
say they didn't get it
922
00:51:08,331 --> 00:51:11,166
because she wants more, man.
923
00:51:11,250 --> 00:51:13,669
She's gotta feed the monkey.
I mean...
924
00:51:16,005 --> 00:51:19,091
Hasn't that ever
occurred to you, man?
925
00:51:19,175 --> 00:51:20,258
Sir?
926
00:51:22,428 --> 00:51:25,806
No, Mr. Lebowski,
it had not occurred to me.
927
00:51:25,890 --> 00:51:28,100
That had not
occurred to us, Dude.
928
00:51:28,184 --> 00:51:29,643
Well, okay, you know?
929
00:51:29,727 --> 00:51:34,231
You guys aren't privy
to all the new shit,
so, you know...
930
00:51:34,315 --> 00:51:37,693
But, hey, that's what you...
That's what you pay me for.
931
00:51:40,113 --> 00:51:41,238
Speaking of which,
932
00:51:41,322 --> 00:51:45,659
do you think that you could
give me my $20,000 in cash?
933
00:51:45,743 --> 00:51:48,704
My concern is, and
I've gotta check it
with my accountant,
934
00:51:48,788 --> 00:51:51,540
that this might bump me up
into a higher tax...
935
00:51:51,624 --> 00:51:54,209
Brandt, give him
the envelope.
936
00:51:54,919 --> 00:51:58,880
Oh, well, if you've
already got the check
made out, that's cool.
937
00:51:58,965 --> 00:52:00,966
We received this this morning.
938
00:52:03,511 --> 00:52:06,888
Since you have
failed to achieve,
939
00:52:06,973 --> 00:52:10,475
even in the modest task
which was your charge,
940
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:13,729
since you have
stolen my money,
941
00:52:13,813 --> 00:52:17,524
since you have
unrepentantly
betrayed my trust,
942
00:52:17,608 --> 00:52:21,570
I have no choice
but to tell these bums
943
00:52:21,654 --> 00:52:23,864
to do whatever is necessary
944
00:52:23,948 --> 00:52:28,076
to recover their money
from you, Jeffrey Lebowski.
945
00:52:29,328 --> 00:52:33,415
And with Brandt as my witness,
I will tell you this,
946
00:52:33,499 --> 00:52:36,752
any further harm
visited upon Bunny
947
00:52:36,836 --> 00:52:40,464
will be visited tenfold
upon your head.
948
00:52:42,842 --> 00:52:44,301
By God, sir,
949
00:52:44,844 --> 00:52:47,846
I will not abide another toe.
950
00:52:48,473 --> 00:52:53,852
♫ I hear the cottonwoods
whispering above
951
00:52:53,936 --> 00:52:56,062
That wasn't her toe, Dude.
952
00:52:57,815 --> 00:53:00,817
- Whose toe was it, Walter?
- How the fuck should I know?
953
00:53:00,943 --> 00:53:04,446
- I do know that nothing about it indicates...
- The nail polish, Walter.
954
00:53:04,530 --> 00:53:05,822
Fine, Dude.
955
00:53:05,907 --> 00:53:09,785
As if it's impossible to get
some nail polish, apply it
to someone else's toe...
956
00:53:09,869 --> 00:53:11,161
- Someone else...
- Pinking shears.
957
00:53:11,245 --> 00:53:12,621
Where the fuck are
they gonna get...
958
00:53:12,705 --> 00:53:15,457
You want a toe?
I can get you a toe.
959
00:53:15,541 --> 00:53:17,417
Believe me,
there are ways, Dude.
960
00:53:17,543 --> 00:53:19,795
- You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
- Yeah, but, Walter...
961
00:53:19,879 --> 00:53:23,298
Hell, I could get you a toe
by 3:00 this afternoon with nail polish.
962
00:53:23,382 --> 00:53:25,300
- These fucking amateurs.
- Walter...
963
00:53:25,384 --> 00:53:28,220
They send us a toe,
we're supposed to shit
ourselves with fear.
964
00:53:28,304 --> 00:53:29,846
- Jesus Christ!
- Walter...
965
00:53:29,972 --> 00:53:32,057
- The point is...
- They're gonna kill her, Walter,
966
00:53:32,141 --> 00:53:33,809
and then they're
gonna kill me.
967
00:53:33,893 --> 00:53:36,353
Dude, that's...
968
00:53:37,647 --> 00:53:39,815
That's just the
stress talking, man.
969
00:53:39,899 --> 00:53:44,945
Now, so far we have
what appears to me to be
a series of victimless crimes.
970
00:53:45,029 --> 00:53:47,572
- What about the toe?
- Forget about the fucking toe!
971
00:53:47,657 --> 00:53:50,784
Excuse me, sir. Could you please
keep your voices down?
972
00:53:50,868 --> 00:53:52,661
This is a family restaurant.
973
00:53:52,745 --> 00:53:55,163
Oh, please! Dear,
for your information,
974
00:53:55,248 --> 00:53:58,041
the Supreme Court
has roundly rejected prior restraint.
975
00:53:58,125 --> 00:54:00,502
Come on. Walter, this is not
a First Amendment thing, man.
976
00:54:00,586 --> 00:54:03,755
Sir, if you don't calm down,
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
977
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,925
Lady, I got buddies
who died face down in the muck
978
00:54:07,009 --> 00:54:09,678
so that you and I can enjoy
this family restaurant!
979
00:54:09,804 --> 00:54:13,139
- All right, I'm out of here.
- Hey, Dude, don't go away, man.
980
00:54:13,224 --> 00:54:17,185
Come on. This affects
all of us, man! It's
our basic freedoms!
981
00:54:21,941 --> 00:54:23,400
I'm staying.
982
00:54:25,611 --> 00:54:27,612
I'm finishing my coffee.
983
00:54:32,451 --> 00:54:34,244
Enjoying my coffee.
984
00:54:50,469 --> 00:54:52,637
The Dude is not in.
985
00:54:52,722 --> 00:54:55,557
Leave a message
after the beep.
It takes a minute.
986
00:54:56,767 --> 00:55:00,478
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Duty Officer
Rolvaag of the LAPD.
987
00:55:00,563 --> 00:55:02,063
We've recovered
your automobile.
988
00:55:02,148 --> 00:55:05,442
It can be claimed
at the North Hollywood
Auto Circus there on Victory.
989
00:55:05,526 --> 00:55:06,651
Their hours there are...
990
00:55:06,736 --> 00:55:08,278
Far out, man. Far fucking out!
991
00:55:18,748 --> 00:55:22,125
Hey! This is a private
residence, man.
992
00:55:30,509 --> 00:55:32,344
Oh, nice marmot.
993
00:55:42,104 --> 00:55:46,191
Where is the money, Lebowski?
We wants the money, Lebowski!
994
00:55:52,198 --> 00:55:55,408
You think we are kidding or
making with the funny stuff?
995
00:55:55,493 --> 00:55:57,786
We could do things you haven't
dreamed of, Lebowski.
996
00:55:57,912 --> 00:56:01,831
Ja, we believes in nothing.
We believes in nothing,
Lebowski. Nothing!
997
00:56:01,916 --> 00:56:05,251
And tomorrow we come back
and we cut off your johnson.
998
00:56:05,336 --> 00:56:08,588
- Excuse me?
- I said, we cut off your johnson!
999
00:56:08,673 --> 00:56:11,091
Just think about that,
Lebowski.
1000
00:56:11,175 --> 00:56:13,093
Your wiggly penis, Lebowski.
1001
00:56:13,177 --> 00:56:15,512
Ja. Maybe we stomp on it
and squish it.
1002
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:28,900
It was discovered
last night in Van Nuys
lodged against an abutment.
1003
00:56:28,985 --> 00:56:30,777
Oh, man. Lodged where?
1004
00:56:30,861 --> 00:56:33,154
You're Iucky she didn't
get chopped, Mr. Lebowski.
1005
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:35,657
Oh, man!
Must've been
a joyride situation.
1006
00:56:35,741 --> 00:56:38,284
They abandoned the vehicle
once they hit the retaining wall.
1007
00:56:38,369 --> 00:56:41,705
Oh, my fucking
briefcase, man!
It's not here! Shit!
1008
00:56:41,789 --> 00:56:43,498
Yeah, I saw that
on the report. Sorry.
1009
00:56:43,582 --> 00:56:45,583
You gotta get in
on the other side.
1010
00:56:46,627 --> 00:56:49,796
The side view was found
on the road by the car.
1011
00:56:51,382 --> 00:56:55,301
You're Iucky they left
the tape deck though,
and the Creedence.
1012
00:56:55,678 --> 00:56:58,304
Oh, Jesus!
What's that smell, man?
1013
00:56:58,389 --> 00:57:01,433
Yeah. It's probably
a vagrant slept in the car.
1014
00:57:01,517 --> 00:57:04,269
Or maybe just used it
as a toilet and moved on.
1015
00:57:04,353 --> 00:57:05,603
Hey, man,
1016
00:57:06,939 --> 00:57:08,565
are you gonna find these guys?
1017
00:57:08,649 --> 00:57:13,194
Or, you know, I mean...
You got any promising
leads or...
1018
00:57:13,487 --> 00:57:15,030
Leads?
1019
00:57:15,114 --> 00:57:16,698
Yeah. Sure.
1020
00:57:16,782 --> 00:57:20,035
I'll just check with the boys
down at the crime lab.
1021
00:57:20,119 --> 00:57:23,955
They got four more detectives
working on the case.
1022
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:25,665
They got us working in shifts!
1023
00:57:31,130 --> 00:57:32,297
Leads!
1024
00:57:33,132 --> 00:57:35,550
My only hope is that
the big Lebowski kills me
1025
00:57:35,634 --> 00:57:37,343
before the Germans
can cut my dick off.
1026
00:57:37,428 --> 00:57:38,553
Leads!
1027
00:57:38,637 --> 00:57:40,305
Now, that is just
ridiculous, Dude.
1028
00:57:40,389 --> 00:57:42,098
No one's going to
cut your dick off.
1029
00:57:42,224 --> 00:57:44,726
- Thank you, Walter.
- Not if I have anything to say about it.
1030
00:57:44,810 --> 00:57:45,852
Thank you, Walter.
1031
00:57:45,978 --> 00:57:47,979
- That makes me feel very secure.
- Dude?
1032
00:57:48,105 --> 00:57:51,024
- That makes me feel very warm inside, man.
- Dude?
1033
00:57:51,108 --> 00:57:53,860
This whole fucking thing.
1034
00:57:53,944 --> 00:57:57,155
I could be sitting here
with just pee stains on my rug.
1035
00:57:57,281 --> 00:58:00,533
- But no, man, I got a, you know...
- Yeah. Fucking Germans.
1036
00:58:00,618 --> 00:58:01,785
Nothing changes.
1037
00:58:02,828 --> 00:58:06,414
- Fucking Nazis.
- They were Nazis, Dude?
1038
00:58:06,499 --> 00:58:09,084
Oh, come on, Donny.
They were threatening castration!
1039
00:58:09,168 --> 00:58:11,002
- Uh-huh.
- Are we gonna split hairs here?
1040
00:58:11,087 --> 00:58:12,420
- No.
- Am I wrong?
1041
00:58:12,505 --> 00:58:15,799
- Well, he didn't...
- Man, they were nihilists, man.
1042
00:58:15,883 --> 00:58:18,426
They kept saying they
believed in nothing.
1043
00:58:18,511 --> 00:58:19,844
Nihilists.
1044
00:58:21,555 --> 00:58:22,847
Fuck me.
1045
00:58:24,558 --> 00:58:27,727
I mean, say what you
want about the tenets of
national socialism, Dude.
1046
00:58:27,812 --> 00:58:30,105
- At least it's an ethos.
- Yeah.
1047
00:58:30,189 --> 00:58:32,899
And, also, let's not forget...
Let's not forget, Dude,
1048
00:58:32,983 --> 00:58:35,944
that keeping wildlife,
an amphibious rodent,
1049
00:58:36,028 --> 00:58:39,572
for, you know,
domestic...
1050
00:58:39,657 --> 00:58:41,407
Within the city...
1051
00:58:42,201 --> 00:58:45,286
- That ain't legal, either.
- What are you, a fucking park ranger now?
1052
00:58:45,371 --> 00:58:46,955
No! I'm just
trying to...
1053
00:58:47,039 --> 00:58:49,749
Who gives a shit
about the fucking marmot?
1054
00:58:49,875 --> 00:58:53,086
- We are sympathizing here, Dude.
- Fuck sympathy.
1055
00:58:53,170 --> 00:58:57,090
I don't need your
fucking sympathy, man.
I need my fucking johnson.
1056
00:58:58,050 --> 00:59:01,261
- What do you need that for, Dude?
- You have got to buck up, man!
1057
00:59:01,345 --> 00:59:04,139
You cannot drag this
negative energy into
the tournament.
1058
00:59:04,223 --> 00:59:06,891
Fuck the tournament.
Fuck you, Walter.
1059
00:59:09,603 --> 00:59:11,604
Fuck the tournament?
1060
00:59:11,689 --> 00:59:14,691
Okay, Dude. I can see
you don't want to be
cheered up here.
1061
00:59:14,775 --> 00:59:17,235
Come on, Donny.
Let's go get us a lane.
1062
00:59:22,241 --> 00:59:24,909
- Another Caucasian, Gary.
- Right, Dude.
1063
00:59:27,413 --> 00:59:30,748
- Friends like these, huh, Gary?
- That's right, Dude.
1064
00:59:38,340 --> 00:59:43,428
♫ See them tumbling down
1065
00:59:44,388 --> 00:59:49,601
♫ Pledging their love
to the ground
1066
00:59:50,269 --> 00:59:54,522
♫ Lonely, but free,
I'll be found
1067
00:59:54,648 --> 00:59:58,985
- You got a good sarsaparilla?
- Sioux City Sarsaparilla?
1068
00:59:59,069 --> 01:00:01,029
Yeah. That's a good one.
1069
01:00:04,116 --> 01:00:06,409
How're you doing there,
Dude?
1070
01:00:06,493 --> 01:00:08,578
Not too good, man.
1071
01:00:09,163 --> 01:00:11,581
- One of those days, huh?
- Yeah.
1072
01:00:12,791 --> 01:00:17,545
Well, a wiser fellow
than myself once said,
1073
01:00:17,630 --> 01:00:19,422
"Sometimes you eat
the bear and..."
1074
01:00:20,966 --> 01:00:23,051
Much obliged.
1075
01:00:23,135 --> 01:00:26,971
"Sometimes the bear,
well, he eats you."
1076
01:00:28,682 --> 01:00:31,392
That some kind of
Eastern thing?
1077
01:00:31,477 --> 01:00:32,936
Far from it.
1078
01:00:39,652 --> 01:00:41,653
I like your style, Dude.
1079
01:00:42,905 --> 01:00:46,908
Oh, well, I dig
your style, too, man.
1080
01:00:46,992 --> 01:00:49,285
Got a whole cowboy thing going.
1081
01:00:53,666 --> 01:00:55,124
Thank you.
1082
01:00:55,209 --> 01:00:57,126
There's just one thing, Dude.
1083
01:00:57,211 --> 01:00:58,962
What's that?
1084
01:00:59,046 --> 01:01:01,673
Do you have to use
so many cuss words?
1085
01:01:05,094 --> 01:01:07,387
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1086
01:01:08,681 --> 01:01:11,140
Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
1087
01:01:13,435 --> 01:01:15,770
Take her easy, Dude.
1088
01:01:15,854 --> 01:01:17,522
Yeah. Thanks, man.
1089
01:01:23,529 --> 01:01:25,238
Call for you, Dude.
1090
01:01:28,909 --> 01:01:32,662
- Hello?
- Jeffrey, you have not gone to the doctor.
1091
01:01:32,746 --> 01:01:35,832
Oh, yeah, no.
No, I haven't yet.
1092
01:01:35,916 --> 01:01:38,418
I'd like to see you
immediately.
1093
01:01:39,336 --> 01:01:40,378
Oh?
1094
01:01:53,058 --> 01:01:56,352
- So, you're Lebowski.
- Yeah.
1095
01:01:59,231 --> 01:02:01,357
Maude has told me
all about you.
1096
01:02:01,442 --> 01:02:03,901
She'll be back in a minute.
Sit down.
1097
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:07,322
- Do you want a drink?
- Yeah, sure. White Russian.
1098
01:02:08,282 --> 01:02:10,074
The bar's over there.
1099
01:02:14,913 --> 01:02:19,000
- So, what do you do, Lebowski?
- Who the fuck are you, man?
1100
01:02:20,502 --> 01:02:24,339
- Just a friend of Maudie's.
- Yeah? The friend with the cleft asshole?
1101
01:02:27,509 --> 01:02:30,053
What do you do?
Oh, nothing much.
1102
01:02:31,263 --> 01:02:33,181
- Hello, Jeffrey.
- Hello.
1103
01:02:33,265 --> 01:02:36,142
Yeah. How are you?
Listen, Maude.
1104
01:02:36,894 --> 01:02:38,436
I got to
1105
01:02:40,773 --> 01:02:43,066
tender my resignation
or whatever
1106
01:02:43,150 --> 01:02:48,154
because looks like
your mother really
was kidnapped after all.
1107
01:02:48,238 --> 01:02:50,281
She most certainly was not.
1108
01:02:50,366 --> 01:02:55,411
Hey, man, why don't you
fucking listen occasionally?
1109
01:02:55,496 --> 01:02:58,039
You might learn something.
Now, I got...
1110
01:02:58,207 --> 01:03:00,958
Please don't call her
my mother.
1111
01:03:01,043 --> 01:03:03,878
She's most definitely
the perpetrator and not the victim.
1112
01:03:03,962 --> 01:03:06,798
I'm telling you, I've got
pretty definitive evidence.
1113
01:03:06,882 --> 01:03:09,717
- From who?
- From the main guy, Uli.
1114
01:03:09,802 --> 01:03:13,137
Uli Kunkel? Her costar
in the beaver picture?
1115
01:03:14,807 --> 01:03:17,892
You mean vagina?
I mean, you know the guy?
1116
01:03:17,976 --> 01:03:20,812
I might have introduced them,
for all I know.
1117
01:03:20,896 --> 01:03:23,064
Do you remember Uli?
1118
01:03:23,148 --> 01:03:25,900
He's a musician.
Used to have a group, Autobahn.
1119
01:03:25,984 --> 01:03:30,530
Look in my LP's.
They released one
album in the late '70s.
1120
01:03:30,614 --> 01:03:33,533
Their music is
sort of a techno pop.
1121
01:03:33,659 --> 01:03:37,078
- So he's pretending to be the abductor?
- Well, yeah.
1122
01:03:37,162 --> 01:03:40,540
Look, Jeffrey, you don't
really kidnap someone
you're acquainted with.
1123
01:03:40,624 --> 01:03:45,128
The whole idea is that the
hostage can't identify you
after you've let them go.
1124
01:03:45,212 --> 01:03:46,921
Well, I know that.
1125
01:03:51,093 --> 01:03:53,761
What the fuck is with this guy?
Who is he?
1126
01:03:53,846 --> 01:03:57,348
Knox Harrington,
the video artist.
1127
01:03:57,433 --> 01:03:59,350
So, Uli has the money.
1128
01:04:00,561 --> 01:04:04,105
Well, no, not exactly.
1129
01:04:04,982 --> 01:04:06,732
This is a very complicated
case, Maude.
1130
01:04:06,900 --> 01:04:08,860
You know, a lot of ins,
a lot of outs,
1131
01:04:08,986 --> 01:04:10,111
a lot of what-have-yous
1132
01:04:10,195 --> 01:04:12,780
and a lot of strands
to keep in my head, man.
1133
01:04:12,865 --> 01:04:15,324
You know, a lot of strands
in the old Duder's head.
1134
01:04:15,409 --> 01:04:16,617
Hello?
1135
01:04:16,702 --> 01:04:18,578
If Uli doesn't have it,
then who does?
1136
01:04:18,662 --> 01:04:20,580
It's Sandra
about the Biennale.
1137
01:04:20,664 --> 01:04:24,167
Look. I have to take this.
Do you still have that doctor's number?
1138
01:04:24,251 --> 01:04:27,795
- No, really, it's not even bruised anymore.
- Oh, please, Jeffrey.
1139
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,965
I don't want to be responsible
for any delayed aftereffects.
1140
01:04:33,510 --> 01:04:35,136
Aftereffects?
1141
01:05:04,583 --> 01:05:07,877
Could you slide your shorts
down, Mr. Lebowski, please?
1142
01:05:07,961 --> 01:05:09,045
Mmm?
1143
01:05:09,379 --> 01:05:11,339
No, no, man.
She hit me right here.
1144
01:05:11,423 --> 01:05:15,092
I understand.
Could you slide your
shorts down, please?
1145
01:05:26,230 --> 01:05:28,523
♫ Just got home from IIlinois
1146
01:05:28,607 --> 01:05:30,775
♫ Locked the front door, oh, boy
1147
01:05:30,859 --> 01:05:35,071
♫ Got to sit down,
take a rest on the porch
1148
01:05:35,447 --> 01:05:37,615
♫ Imagination sets in
1149
01:05:37,699 --> 01:05:39,909
♫ Pretty soon I'm singin'
1150
01:05:39,993 --> 01:05:41,827
♫ Doo, doo, doo
1151
01:05:41,912 --> 01:05:43,996
♫ Looking out my back door
1152
01:05:44,081 --> 01:05:46,791
♫ Keeping mighty cool.
There's a giant doing cartwheels
1153
01:05:46,875 --> 01:05:49,126
♫ A statue wearing high heels
1154
01:05:49,211 --> 01:05:51,462
♫ Look at all the happy creatures
1155
01:05:51,547 --> 01:05:53,798
♫ Dancing on the lawn
1156
01:05:53,882 --> 01:05:58,219
♫ A dinosaur Victrola
listening to Buck Owens
1157
01:05:58,345 --> 01:06:00,346
♫ Doo, doo, doo
1158
01:06:00,430 --> 01:06:02,515
♫ Looking out my back door
1159
01:06:02,975 --> 01:06:07,311
♫ Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the band
1160
01:06:08,814 --> 01:06:09,981
♫ Doo, doo, doo
1161
01:06:10,065 --> 01:06:14,026
♫ Wondrous apparition
provided by magician
1162
01:06:14,486 --> 01:06:16,320
♫ Doo, doo, doo
1163
01:06:16,405 --> 01:06:19,073
♫ Looking out my back door
1164
01:06:37,342 --> 01:06:41,596
♫ Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the band
1165
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:45,099
♫ Won't you take a ride
on the flying spoon?
1166
01:06:45,183 --> 01:06:46,601
♫ Doo, doo, doo
1167
01:06:46,685 --> 01:06:48,436
♫ Bother me tomorrow
1168
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:50,980
♫ Today I'll buy no sorrows
1169
01:06:51,064 --> 01:06:52,481
♫ Doo, doo, doo
1170
01:06:52,566 --> 01:06:55,359
♫ Looking out my back door
1171
01:07:47,746 --> 01:07:51,207
He lives in
North Hollywood on Radford,
near the In-N-Out Burger.
1172
01:07:51,291 --> 01:07:53,459
No, the In-N-Out
Burger's on Camrose.
1173
01:07:53,543 --> 01:07:55,961
- Near the In-N-Out Burger.
- Those are good burgers, Walter.
1174
01:07:56,046 --> 01:07:58,923
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
The kid is in the ninth grade, Dude.
1175
01:07:59,007 --> 01:08:01,634
And his father is...
Are you ready for this?
1176
01:08:01,718 --> 01:08:05,054
His father is
Arthur Digby Sellers.
1177
01:08:05,138 --> 01:08:06,722
Who the fuck is that?
1178
01:08:06,807 --> 01:08:09,850
Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
Who the...
1179
01:08:09,935 --> 01:08:12,311
Have you ever
heard of a little show
called Branded, Dude?
1180
01:08:12,396 --> 01:08:13,437
Yes, yes, I...
1181
01:08:13,522 --> 01:08:15,523
"All but one man
died there at Bitter Creek."
1182
01:08:15,607 --> 01:08:17,858
I know the fucking show,
Walter. So what?
1183
01:08:17,943 --> 01:08:21,987
Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers
wrote 156 episodes, Dude.
1184
01:08:22,072 --> 01:08:23,781
The bulk of the series.
1185
01:08:23,865 --> 01:08:24,907
Oh.
1186
01:08:24,950 --> 01:08:27,535
Not exactly a lightweight.
No.
1187
01:08:27,619 --> 01:08:29,954
And yet his son
is a fucking dunce.
1188
01:08:31,456 --> 01:08:34,166
Anyway, we'll go there
after the what-have-you.
1189
01:08:34,251 --> 01:08:35,918
We'll brace the kid.
Should be a pushover.
1190
01:08:36,002 --> 01:08:37,211
We'll be near
the In-N-Out Burger.
1191
01:08:37,295 --> 01:08:38,421
Shut the fuck up, Donny!
1192
01:08:40,716 --> 01:08:43,926
We'll go out there,
we'll brace the kid.
He should be a pushover.
1193
01:08:44,010 --> 01:08:46,137
We'll get that fucking
million dollars back,
1194
01:08:46,221 --> 01:08:48,347
if he hasn't
spent it already.
1195
01:08:48,432 --> 01:08:50,474
A million fucking clams.
1196
01:08:50,559 --> 01:08:54,228
- And, yes, we'll be near the...
- In-N-Out.
1197
01:08:54,646 --> 01:08:58,065
- Shh! Shh!
- Some burgers, some beers. A few laughs.
1198
01:09:00,777 --> 01:09:03,070
Our fucking troubles
are over, Dude.
1199
01:09:15,542 --> 01:09:18,544
Oh, fuck me, man.
1200
01:09:18,628 --> 01:09:21,422
That kid's already spent
all the money, man.
1201
01:09:21,506 --> 01:09:23,758
New Vette? Hardly, Dude.
1202
01:09:23,842 --> 01:09:29,180
I'd say he still has
$960,000, $970,000 left,
depending on the options.
1203
01:09:29,890 --> 01:09:30,890
Wait in the car, Donny.
1204
01:09:35,061 --> 01:09:37,062
- Yes?
- Pilar?
1205
01:09:38,273 --> 01:09:42,401
My name is Walter Sobchak.
This is my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski.
1206
01:09:43,820 --> 01:09:46,113
We came to talk
about little Larry.
1207
01:09:46,198 --> 01:09:48,282
- May we come in?
- Yes, yes.
1208
01:09:48,366 --> 01:09:49,700
Thank you.
1209
01:09:54,039 --> 01:09:55,664
That's him, Dude.
1210
01:10:03,215 --> 01:10:05,674
And a good day
to you, sir!
1211
01:10:05,759 --> 01:10:07,760
Sit down, please.
1212
01:10:13,183 --> 01:10:15,976
Larry, sweetie,
the man is here!
1213
01:10:16,061 --> 01:10:18,896
Is he...
Does he still write?
1214
01:10:18,980 --> 01:10:22,107
Oh, no, no.
He has health problems.
1215
01:10:22,275 --> 01:10:23,484
Uh-huh.
1216
01:10:25,237 --> 01:10:27,279
Sir, I just want to say
1217
01:10:28,281 --> 01:10:30,741
that we're both,
on a personal level,
1218
01:10:32,244 --> 01:10:34,203
really enormous fans.
1219
01:10:34,287 --> 01:10:37,456
Branded, especially
the early episodes,
1220
01:10:37,541 --> 01:10:39,667
was truly a source
of inspiration.
1221
01:10:39,751 --> 01:10:42,545
Sweetie, sit down.
This man is the police.
1222
01:10:42,629 --> 01:10:46,215
Oh, no, ma'am. We didn't want
to give the impression that
we were police, exactly.
1223
01:10:46,299 --> 01:10:49,051
We're hoping it won't be necessary
to call the police.
1224
01:10:49,135 --> 01:10:51,595
But that's up to
little Larry here.
1225
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:53,305
Isn't it, Larry?
1226
01:11:04,192 --> 01:11:06,318
Is this your homework,
Larry?
1227
01:11:07,779 --> 01:11:09,989
- Is this your homework, Larry?
- Look, man, it...
1228
01:11:10,073 --> 01:11:13,450
Dude. Please?
Is this your homework, Larry?
1229
01:11:13,535 --> 01:11:14,910
Just ask him about
the car, man.
1230
01:11:14,995 --> 01:11:17,329
Is this yours, Larry?
Is this your homework, Larry?
1231
01:11:17,414 --> 01:11:18,622
Is that your car out front?
1232
01:11:18,665 --> 01:11:21,625
- Is this your homework, Larry?
- We know it's his fucking homework!
1233
01:11:21,710 --> 01:11:23,961
Where's the fucking money,
you little brat?
1234
01:11:24,045 --> 01:11:27,047
Look, Larry, have you
ever heard of Vietnam?
1235
01:11:27,173 --> 01:11:29,466
- For Christ's sake, Walter.
- You are entering a world of pain, son.
1236
01:11:29,551 --> 01:11:32,219
We know that this is
your homework. We know
that you stole the car.
1237
01:11:32,304 --> 01:11:34,847
- And the fucking money.
- And the fucking money!
1238
01:11:34,931 --> 01:11:36,599
And we know that
this is your homework!
1239
01:11:36,683 --> 01:11:37,892
We're gonna cut
your dick off, Larry.
1240
01:11:37,976 --> 01:11:39,935
You're killing
your father, Larry.
1241
01:11:43,106 --> 01:11:45,190
All right.
This is pointless.
1242
01:11:46,484 --> 01:11:49,153
Okay, time for Plan B.
1243
01:11:51,406 --> 01:11:54,366
You might want to watch out
that front window, Larry.
1244
01:11:55,660 --> 01:11:59,038
Son, this is what happens
when you fuck a stranger in the ass!
1245
01:12:00,707 --> 01:12:02,666
A little language
problem here.
1246
01:12:02,751 --> 01:12:05,127
Little prick's stonewalling me.
1247
01:12:06,004 --> 01:12:07,546
Walter.
1248
01:12:08,256 --> 01:12:10,257
What are you doing, man?
1249
01:12:12,886 --> 01:12:14,678
What are you doing?
1250
01:12:16,014 --> 01:12:17,681
Here you go, Larry.
1251
01:12:17,766 --> 01:12:19,767
You see what happens?
1252
01:12:19,851 --> 01:12:21,894
You see what happens, Larry?
1253
01:12:22,646 --> 01:12:24,480
- You see what happens?
- Oh, great.
1254
01:12:24,564 --> 01:12:28,150
This is what happens
when you fuck a stranger
in the ass, Larry.
1255
01:12:31,196 --> 01:12:32,821
This is what happens, Larry.
1256
01:12:32,906 --> 01:12:34,740
You see what happens, Larry?
1257
01:12:34,824 --> 01:12:37,284
You see what happens
when you fuck a stranger in the ass?
1258
01:12:37,369 --> 01:12:39,578
This is what happens!
1259
01:12:39,746 --> 01:12:41,830
You see what happens, Larry?
1260
01:12:41,915 --> 01:12:44,291
You see what happens, Larry?
1261
01:12:44,376 --> 01:12:48,087
Do you see what happens,
Larry, when you fuck
a stranger in the ass?
1262
01:12:49,339 --> 01:12:50,881
This is what happens, Larry!
1263
01:12:50,966 --> 01:12:52,633
This is what happens, Larry!
1264
01:12:52,717 --> 01:12:55,469
- My car! My baby!
- This is what happens, Larry!
1265
01:12:55,553 --> 01:12:57,513
This is what happens
when you fuck a stranger...
1266
01:12:57,597 --> 01:13:00,265
What the fuck are you
doing, man? Stop it!
1267
01:13:00,392 --> 01:13:02,851
- Hey, man.
- I just bought that fucking car last week!
1268
01:13:02,978 --> 01:13:05,980
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry!
- I'm gonna fucking kill you!
1269
01:13:06,106 --> 01:13:09,233
- I just bought the fucking car last week!
- Come on, man.
1270
01:13:09,317 --> 01:13:11,151
I'll kill your
fucking car, man!
1271
01:13:11,236 --> 01:13:13,278
No, no. Hey, hey,
that's not his! Hey!
1272
01:13:13,363 --> 01:13:15,823
- God damn it!
- Whoa! Oh, no!
1273
01:13:15,907 --> 01:13:17,700
- Fuck you!
- Man. No.
1274
01:13:17,784 --> 01:13:20,285
You like that? Fuck you!
1275
01:13:20,370 --> 01:13:23,831
- I'll kill your fucking car!
- No. No, no. No.
1276
01:13:23,915 --> 01:13:25,833
I'll kill your fucking car!
1277
01:13:46,855 --> 01:13:48,772
I accept your apology.
1278
01:13:49,941 --> 01:13:53,444
No, I just want to handle it
by myself from now on.
1279
01:13:54,654 --> 01:13:56,697
No. No. No!
1280
01:13:56,781 --> 01:13:58,615
That has nothing
to do with it.
1281
01:13:59,993 --> 01:14:03,370
Yes, the car made it home.
You're calling me at home.
1282
01:14:04,998 --> 01:14:09,752
No, Walter, it did not look
like Larry was about to crack!
1283
01:14:11,963 --> 01:14:13,964
Well, that's your perception.
1284
01:14:15,675 --> 01:14:18,343
You know, Walter,
you're right.
1285
01:14:18,428 --> 01:14:20,387
There is an unspoken
message here.
1286
01:14:20,472 --> 01:14:22,890
It's, "Fuck you!
Leave me the fuck alone!"
1287
01:14:25,810 --> 01:14:27,644
Yeah, I'll be at practice.
1288
01:14:45,246 --> 01:14:47,081
Pin your diapers on,
Lebowski.
1289
01:14:47,165 --> 01:14:48,916
Jackie Treehorn
wants to see you.
1290
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,877
Jackie Treehorn knows
which Lebowski you are, Lebowski.
1291
01:14:51,961 --> 01:14:54,797
Jackie Treehorn
wants to see the
deadbeat Lebowski.
1292
01:14:54,881 --> 01:14:56,757
You're not dealing
with morons here.
1293
01:15:44,806 --> 01:15:47,808
Hello, Dude.
Thanks for coming.
1294
01:15:47,892 --> 01:15:49,560
I'm Jackie Treehorn.
1295
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:55,190
This is quite a pad
you got here, man.
1296
01:15:55,275 --> 01:15:57,276
Completely unspoiled.
1297
01:15:57,360 --> 01:16:00,571
- What's your drink, Dude?
- A White Russian. Thanks.
1298
01:16:01,447 --> 01:16:02,739
White Russian.
1299
01:16:03,366 --> 01:16:07,327
- How's the smut business, Jackie?
- I wouldn't know, Dude.
1300
01:16:07,412 --> 01:16:12,833
I deal in publishing,
entertainment, political advocacy.
1301
01:16:12,917 --> 01:16:16,170
- Which one's Logjammin'?
- Yes, regrettably, it's true.
1302
01:16:16,254 --> 01:16:19,089
Standards have fallen
in adult entertainment.
1303
01:16:19,174 --> 01:16:20,799
It's video, Dude.
1304
01:16:21,634 --> 01:16:23,468
Now that we're competing
with those amateurs,
1305
01:16:23,553 --> 01:16:27,097
we can't afford to invest
in little extras like story,
1306
01:16:27,932 --> 01:16:30,851
production value, feelings.
1307
01:16:32,604 --> 01:16:37,816
You know, people forget that the brain
is the biggest erogenous zone.
1308
01:16:38,443 --> 01:16:40,027
On you maybe.
1309
01:16:40,111 --> 01:16:42,029
Of course, you have to take
the good with the bad.
1310
01:16:42,113 --> 01:16:45,032
New technology permits us
to do very exciting things
1311
01:16:45,116 --> 01:16:47,826
in interactive
erotic software.
1312
01:16:47,911 --> 01:16:51,997
Wave of the future, Dude.
100% electronic.
1313
01:16:53,333 --> 01:16:55,959
Well, I still jerk off manually.
1314
01:16:58,254 --> 01:17:02,633
Of course you do.
I can see you're anxious
for me to get to the point.
1315
01:17:02,717 --> 01:17:05,427
Well, here it is, Dude.
1316
01:17:05,511 --> 01:17:07,095
Where's Bunny?
1317
01:17:07,138 --> 01:17:09,723
Well, I thought you might know that, man.
Why would I?
1318
01:17:09,807 --> 01:17:14,061
She only ran off
to get away from that
rather sizable debt to me.
1319
01:17:14,145 --> 01:17:16,563
No, she didn't run off.
She's been...
1320
01:17:16,648 --> 01:17:18,732
I heard that kidnapping story,
so save it.
1321
01:17:18,816 --> 01:17:20,817
I know you're mixed up
in all this, Dude.
1322
01:17:22,445 --> 01:17:25,572
And I don't care
what you're trying
to get from the husband.
1323
01:17:25,657 --> 01:17:27,157
That's your business.
1324
01:17:27,242 --> 01:17:31,078
All I'm saying is I want mine.
1325
01:17:31,162 --> 01:17:32,412
Yeah, right, man.
1326
01:17:32,497 --> 01:17:36,375
I mean, there are a lot of
facets to this,
1327
01:17:36,501 --> 01:17:38,377
a lot of interested parties.
1328
01:17:38,795 --> 01:17:40,128
Excuse me.
1329
01:17:45,843 --> 01:17:46,927
Yeah?
1330
01:17:47,887 --> 01:17:49,054
Oh, yeah?
1331
01:17:49,138 --> 01:17:50,555
Where is that?
1332
01:17:54,185 --> 01:17:56,311
All right. Yeah.
1333
01:17:59,315 --> 01:18:00,649
Excuse me.
1334
01:18:36,144 --> 01:18:39,813
- Forgive me.
- No problemo, man.
1335
01:18:39,897 --> 01:18:44,234
So, if I can find your money,
1336
01:18:46,029 --> 01:18:47,904
what's in it for the Dude?
1337
01:18:47,989 --> 01:18:51,158
Well, of course, there's that to discuss.
You want a refill?
1338
01:18:51,242 --> 01:18:54,703
Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods?
10% finder's fee.
1339
01:18:54,787 --> 01:18:58,248
- That all right?
- Okay. Done, Jackie.
1340
01:18:59,208 --> 01:19:01,501
I dig the way
you do business, man.
1341
01:19:01,586 --> 01:19:05,213
Your money is being
held by a kid named Larry Sellers.
1342
01:19:05,298 --> 01:19:08,050
He lives in North Hollywood
on Radford,
1343
01:19:09,260 --> 01:19:11,762
by the In-N-Out Burger.
1344
01:19:11,846 --> 01:19:12,888
Fucking brat.
1345
01:19:12,972 --> 01:19:17,184
But I'm sure your goons can get it off him.
I mean, he's 15.
1346
01:19:19,437 --> 01:19:21,396
FIunking social studies.
1347
01:19:24,776 --> 01:19:27,652
So, if you could just
1348
01:19:27,737 --> 01:19:32,032
write me a check for
my 10% of half a million,
1349
01:19:32,116 --> 01:19:35,202
5 grand,
I'll go out and mingle.
1350
01:19:39,665 --> 01:19:42,125
You mix a hell of
a Caucasian, Jackie.
1351
01:19:43,628 --> 01:19:45,712
Fifteen-year-old kid.
1352
01:19:46,464 --> 01:19:50,467
- Is this some sort of a joke?
- No. No joke.
1353
01:19:52,261 --> 01:19:55,389
No funny stuff, Jackie.
The kid's got it.
1354
01:19:55,473 --> 01:19:56,640
Hi, fellas.
1355
01:19:59,352 --> 01:20:00,977
Kid just wanted a car.
1356
01:20:04,273 --> 01:20:07,651
All the Dude ever wanted
was his rug back.
1357
01:20:08,152 --> 01:20:09,486
Not greedy.
1358
01:20:11,155 --> 01:20:12,531
It really
1359
01:20:14,158 --> 01:20:15,867
tied the room together.
1360
01:20:18,830 --> 01:20:21,998
Darkness washed
over the Dude.
1361
01:20:22,083 --> 01:20:26,586
Darker than
a black steer's tokus on
a moonless prairie night.
1362
01:20:27,547 --> 01:20:30,340
There was no bottom.
1363
01:20:44,439 --> 01:20:46,857
♫ Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1364
01:20:46,941 --> 01:20:50,527
♫ What condition
my condition was in
1365
01:20:52,530 --> 01:20:57,868
♫ I woke up this morning
with the sundown shining in
1366
01:21:00,872 --> 01:21:06,209
♫ I found my mind in
a brown paper bag within
1367
01:21:09,088 --> 01:21:13,341
♫ I tripped on a cloud
and fell-a eight miles high
1368
01:21:13,426 --> 01:21:17,471
♫ I tore my mind on a jagged sky
1369
01:21:17,555 --> 01:21:19,306
♫ I just dropped in
1370
01:21:19,390 --> 01:21:23,560
♫ To see what condition
my condition was in
1371
01:21:23,936 --> 01:21:26,605
♫ Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1372
01:21:26,689 --> 01:21:29,983
♫ What condition
my condition was in
1373
01:21:36,240 --> 01:21:39,826
♫ I pushed my soul
in a deep, dark hole
1374
01:21:39,911 --> 01:21:42,579
♫ And then I followed it in
1375
01:21:44,499 --> 01:21:47,626
♫ I watched myself crawlin' out
1376
01:21:47,710 --> 01:21:51,588
♫ As I was a-crawlin' in
1377
01:21:52,215 --> 01:21:54,674
♫ I got up so tight
1378
01:21:54,759 --> 01:21:56,885
♫ I couldn't unwind
1379
01:21:56,969 --> 01:22:01,097
♫ I saw so much I broke my mind
1380
01:22:01,182 --> 01:22:03,016
♫ I just dropped in
1381
01:22:03,100 --> 01:22:06,811
♫ To see what condition
my condition was in
1382
01:22:15,780 --> 01:22:18,365
♫ Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1383
01:22:18,449 --> 01:22:21,701
♫ What condition
my condition was in
1384
01:22:27,583 --> 01:22:31,378
♫ Someone painted "April Fool"
1385
01:22:31,462 --> 01:22:34,089
♫ In big, black letters
on a "Dead End" sign
1386
01:22:35,716 --> 01:22:40,095
♫ I had my foot on the gas
as I left the road
1387
01:22:40,179 --> 01:22:43,765
♫ And blew out my mind
1388
01:22:44,267 --> 01:22:48,687
♫ Eight miles out of Memphis
and I got no spare
1389
01:22:48,771 --> 01:22:52,649
♫ Eight miles straight up
downtown somewhere
1390
01:22:52,984 --> 01:22:54,901
♫ I just dropped in
1391
01:22:54,986 --> 01:22:59,322
♫ To see what condition
my condition was in
1392
01:23:00,741 --> 01:23:03,076
♫ I said I just dropped in
1393
01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:07,330
♫ To see what condition
my condition was in
1394
01:23:07,707 --> 01:23:10,792
♫ Yeah, yeah
1395
01:23:10,876 --> 01:23:17,173
♫ Oh, yeah
1396
01:24:11,312 --> 01:24:14,731
♫ He was innocent
1397
01:24:15,650 --> 01:24:19,277
♫ Not a charge was true
1398
01:24:19,987 --> 01:24:25,575
♫ And they say
he ran away branded
1399
01:24:38,964 --> 01:24:40,799
Is this your only ID?
1400
01:24:41,592 --> 01:24:43,510
I know my rights, man.
1401
01:24:45,638 --> 01:24:47,389
You don't know shit, Lebowski.
1402
01:24:47,473 --> 01:24:50,183
I want a fucking lawyer,
man.
1403
01:24:50,267 --> 01:24:54,437
I want Bill Kunstler, man,
1404
01:24:55,940 --> 01:24:57,649
or Ron Kuby.
1405
01:24:57,733 --> 01:25:00,902
Mr. Treehorn tells us
that he had to eject you
1406
01:25:00,986 --> 01:25:02,987
from his garden party,
1407
01:25:03,447 --> 01:25:05,365
that you were drunk
and abusive.
1408
01:25:05,449 --> 01:25:10,537
Mr. Treehorn treats objects
like women, man.
1409
01:25:11,038 --> 01:25:14,165
Mr. Treehorn draws
a lot of water in this town.
1410
01:25:14,250 --> 01:25:16,626
You don't draw shit, Lebowski.
1411
01:25:16,711 --> 01:25:19,421
Now, we got a nice quiet
little beach community here,
1412
01:25:19,505 --> 01:25:22,048
and I aim to keep it
nice and quiet.
1413
01:25:22,133 --> 01:25:24,467
So let me make
something plain.
1414
01:25:25,010 --> 01:25:29,097
I don't like you sucking
around bothering our
citizens, Lebowski.
1415
01:25:29,807 --> 01:25:32,058
I don't like your
jerk-off name.
1416
01:25:32,143 --> 01:25:33,393
I don't like your
jerk-off face.
1417
01:25:33,477 --> 01:25:35,103
I don't like your
jerk-off behavior.
1418
01:25:35,187 --> 01:25:38,148
And I don't like you,
jerk-off.
1419
01:25:41,819 --> 01:25:43,695
Do I make myself clear?
1420
01:25:46,824 --> 01:25:48,825
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
1421
01:25:50,327 --> 01:25:51,369
Ow!
1422
01:25:51,454 --> 01:25:53,037
Fucking fascist!
1423
01:25:54,665 --> 01:25:56,833
Stay out of Malibu,
Lebowski.
1424
01:25:57,668 --> 01:25:59,794
Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!
1425
01:26:00,963 --> 01:26:05,467
Keep your ugly, fucking,
gold-bricking ass out of
my beach community.
1426
01:26:05,634 --> 01:26:08,303
♫ I want to sleep with you
1427
01:26:08,387 --> 01:26:11,514
♫ In the desert tonight
1428
01:26:12,767 --> 01:26:17,395
♫ With a billion stars
all around
1429
01:26:18,272 --> 01:26:21,441
Jesus, man. Could you
change the channel?
1430
01:26:21,525 --> 01:26:23,193
Fuck you, man!
If you don't like
my fucking music,
1431
01:26:23,277 --> 01:26:24,778
get your own fucking cab!
1432
01:26:24,862 --> 01:26:25,945
I had a really rough...
1433
01:26:26,030 --> 01:26:27,781
I'll pull off to the side
and kick your ass out.
1434
01:26:27,865 --> 01:26:32,577
Man, come on. I had
a rough night, and I hate
the fucking Eagles, man.
1435
01:26:40,336 --> 01:26:42,921
- Out of my fucking cab! Out!
- Man!
1436
01:26:44,381 --> 01:26:46,549
Man! Man! Hey!
1437
01:26:57,728 --> 01:27:01,648
♫ There's a thousand pretty
women waiting out there
1438
01:27:01,732 --> 01:27:05,485
♫ And they're all livin'
devil may care
1439
01:27:05,569 --> 01:27:09,155
♫ And I'm just the devil
with love to spare
1440
01:27:09,406 --> 01:27:12,700
♫ So viva Las Vegas
1441
01:27:13,536 --> 01:27:17,080
♫ Viva Las Vegas
1442
01:27:29,093 --> 01:27:31,719
Oh, Jesus!
1443
01:27:51,657 --> 01:27:52,907
Jeffrey.
1444
01:27:53,826 --> 01:27:55,702
- Maude?
- Love me.
1445
01:27:58,497 --> 01:28:00,456
That's my robe.
1446
01:28:01,750 --> 01:28:03,668
Tell me about yourself, Jeffrey.
1447
01:28:04,503 --> 01:28:06,754
Well, not much to tell.
1448
01:28:07,882 --> 01:28:13,511
I was one of the authors
of the Port Huron Statement.
1449
01:28:15,139 --> 01:28:17,515
- The original Port Huron Statement.
- Uh-huh.
1450
01:28:17,975 --> 01:28:21,519
Not the compromised
second draft.
1451
01:28:23,439 --> 01:28:25,148
Then I...
1452
01:28:26,317 --> 01:28:28,860
You ever hear of
the Seattle Seven?
1453
01:28:28,944 --> 01:28:30,320
That was me.
1454
01:28:33,574 --> 01:28:35,825
And there were
six other guys.
1455
01:28:37,369 --> 01:28:40,580
And then the music business,
briefly.
1456
01:28:40,664 --> 01:28:42,206
- Oh?
- Yeah.
1457
01:28:42,291 --> 01:28:44,000
Roadie for Metallica.
1458
01:28:44,084 --> 01:28:45,126
Oh.
1459
01:28:45,210 --> 01:28:46,711
Speed of Sound tour.
1460
01:28:47,087 --> 01:28:48,463
Mmm-hmm.
1461
01:28:48,923 --> 01:28:50,590
Bunch of assholes.
1462
01:28:51,884 --> 01:28:55,261
And then, you know,
little of this, little of that.
1463
01:28:56,639 --> 01:28:59,891
My career's slowed down
a little lately.
1464
01:28:59,975 --> 01:29:03,102
What do you do
for recreation?
1465
01:29:03,896 --> 01:29:05,355
Well, the usual.
1466
01:29:05,439 --> 01:29:08,232
Bowl, drive around,
1467
01:29:09,693 --> 01:29:12,028
the occasional
acid flashback.
1468
01:29:18,243 --> 01:29:20,328
What happened to your house?
1469
01:29:20,412 --> 01:29:22,956
Oh, Jackie Treehorn
trashed the place.
1470
01:29:23,040 --> 01:29:25,959
He thought I had
your father's money.
1471
01:29:26,043 --> 01:29:29,212
He got me out of the way
while he looked for it.
1472
01:29:29,296 --> 01:29:31,422
- Cocktail?
- No, thanks.
1473
01:29:31,507 --> 01:29:34,592
It's not my father's money.
It's the foundation's.
1474
01:29:35,094 --> 01:29:38,388
Why did he think you have it?
Who does?
1475
01:29:38,472 --> 01:29:42,934
Oh, Larry Sellers,
this high school kid.
Real fucking brat.
1476
01:29:43,018 --> 01:29:46,562
You know, this is a very
complicated case, Maude.
1477
01:29:46,647 --> 01:29:48,648
A lot of ins, a lot of outs.
1478
01:29:49,316 --> 01:29:53,861
You know, fortunately,
I'm adhering to a pretty
strict, drug regimen
1479
01:29:53,946 --> 01:29:56,197
to keep my mind,
you know, limber,
1480
01:29:56,281 --> 01:29:59,826
and I'm very fucking close
to your father's money.
1481
01:29:59,910 --> 01:30:02,537
I keep telling you,
it's the foundation's
money.
1482
01:30:02,621 --> 01:30:04,247
Father doesn't have any.
1483
01:30:05,833 --> 01:30:08,001
What are you talking about?
He's fucking loaded.
1484
01:30:08,085 --> 01:30:10,420
No, no. The wealth
is all Mother's.
1485
01:30:11,213 --> 01:30:12,672
No, he runs stuff.
1486
01:30:13,090 --> 01:30:15,299
We did let him run one
of the companies briefly,
1487
01:30:15,384 --> 01:30:18,302
- but he didn't do very well at it.
- Oh, he's, you know...
1488
01:30:18,387 --> 01:30:20,763
No, he helps administer
the charities now,
1489
01:30:20,848 --> 01:30:23,474
and I give him
a reasonable allowance.
1490
01:30:23,559 --> 01:30:25,226
He has no money of his own.
1491
01:30:25,310 --> 01:30:27,020
I know how he likes
to present himself.
1492
01:30:27,104 --> 01:30:30,398
Father's weakness is vanity,
hence the slut.
1493
01:30:32,651 --> 01:30:34,277
Do you think he...
1494
01:30:35,779 --> 01:30:37,113
What is that, yoga?
1495
01:30:37,197 --> 01:30:39,574
It increases the chances
of conception.
1496
01:30:42,536 --> 01:30:45,038
- Increases...
- Well, yes.
1497
01:30:45,122 --> 01:30:48,082
What did you think
this was all about?
Fun and games?
1498
01:30:48,167 --> 01:30:49,709
I want a child.
1499
01:30:50,294 --> 01:30:52,128
Okay, yeah, okay.
1500
01:30:52,212 --> 01:30:55,048
But let me... Let me explain
something about the Dude.
1501
01:30:55,132 --> 01:30:58,593
Look, Jeffrey,
I don't want a partner.
1502
01:30:58,677 --> 01:31:02,388
In fact, I don't want
the father to be someone
I have to see socially
1503
01:31:02,473 --> 01:31:05,558
or who will have any interest
in raising the child himself.
1504
01:31:06,977 --> 01:31:10,480
- Oh. So, that doctor...
- Exactly.
1505
01:31:11,565 --> 01:31:14,442
Now, what happened
to your face?
1506
01:31:15,069 --> 01:31:17,195
Did Jackie Treehorn
do that as well?
1507
01:31:17,279 --> 01:31:22,575
No, it was the chief of police
of Malibu, a real reactionary.
1508
01:31:22,659 --> 01:31:24,410
So, your father...
1509
01:31:26,413 --> 01:31:29,332
- Oh, yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah.
- What?
1510
01:31:29,416 --> 01:31:33,836
Oh, man.
My thinking about this case
has become very uptight.
1511
01:31:33,921 --> 01:31:35,421
Yeah.
1512
01:31:35,506 --> 01:31:36,839
Your father.
1513
01:31:37,841 --> 01:31:40,843
Jeffrey, what are
you talking about?
1514
01:31:42,846 --> 01:31:43,846
Jeffrey!
1515
01:31:43,931 --> 01:31:46,724
Walter, if you're there,
pick up the fucking phone, man.
1516
01:31:46,809 --> 01:31:48,810
Come on, Walter.
1517
01:31:48,894 --> 01:31:52,105
- Pick it up, man. This is an emergency.
- Dude? Dude?
1518
01:31:52,189 --> 01:31:56,150
Yeah. Listen, Walter.
I'm at my place. I need
you to come pick me up.
1519
01:31:56,235 --> 01:31:58,611
- I can't drive, Dude. It's Erev shabbos.
- What?
1520
01:31:58,695 --> 01:32:00,113
- Erev shabbos.
- What?
1521
01:32:00,197 --> 01:32:03,366
- Erev shabbos. I can't drive.
- Man!
1522
01:32:03,450 --> 01:32:06,077
I'm not even supposed
to pick up the phone
unless it's an emergency.
1523
01:32:06,161 --> 01:32:09,539
- This is a fucking emergency!
- I understand.
1524
01:32:09,623 --> 01:32:11,207
That's why I picked up
the phone.
1525
01:32:11,291 --> 01:32:14,585
Walter, you fuck.
We gotta go to Pasadena, man.
1526
01:32:14,670 --> 01:32:16,921
Come pick me up or I'm off
the fucking bowling team.
1527
01:32:32,563 --> 01:32:35,022
Get out of that
fucking car, man!
1528
01:32:36,316 --> 01:32:38,359
Get out of that fucking car!
1529
01:32:38,443 --> 01:32:40,736
Get the fuck
out of the car, man.
1530
01:32:42,739 --> 01:32:44,740
Get out of the fucking...
1531
01:32:45,325 --> 01:32:47,160
- Who the fuck are you, man?
- Easy, man!
1532
01:32:47,244 --> 01:32:48,619
Relax, man.
1533
01:32:49,705 --> 01:32:51,372
No physical harm intended.
1534
01:32:51,456 --> 01:32:54,167
Who the fuck are you?
Why you following me around?
1535
01:32:54,293 --> 01:32:57,461
- Come on, fuckhead!
- Relax, man. I'm a brother shamus.
1536
01:32:58,463 --> 01:33:00,006
Brother Shamus?
1537
01:33:01,758 --> 01:33:03,426
Like an Irish monk?
1538
01:33:03,510 --> 01:33:05,386
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1539
01:33:05,470 --> 01:33:09,432
My name is Da Fino.
I'm a private snoop,
like you, man.
1540
01:33:10,726 --> 01:33:12,768
- What?
- A dick, man.
1541
01:33:12,853 --> 01:33:15,980
And let me tell you something,
I dig your work.
1542
01:33:16,064 --> 01:33:19,025
Playing one side
against the other,
in bed with everybody.
1543
01:33:19,109 --> 01:33:21,485
- Fabulous stuff, man.
- I'm not...
1544
01:33:21,570 --> 01:33:24,488
Fuck it, man.
Just stay away from
my fucking lady friend.
1545
01:33:24,573 --> 01:33:27,116
Hey, I'm not messing
with your special lady.
1546
01:33:27,201 --> 01:33:29,702
She's not my special lady.
She's my fucking lady friend.
1547
01:33:29,828 --> 01:33:32,580
- I'm just helping her conceive, man!
- Hey, man. I'm not...
1548
01:33:32,664 --> 01:33:35,124
Who are you working for?
Lebowski?
1549
01:33:35,209 --> 01:33:36,626
Jackie Treehorn?
1550
01:33:38,462 --> 01:33:39,962
The Kneutsons.
1551
01:33:41,340 --> 01:33:43,966
Who the fuck are
the Kneutsons?
1552
01:33:44,051 --> 01:33:47,637
The Kneutsons,
it's a wandering daughter job.
1553
01:33:49,014 --> 01:33:51,557
Bunny Lebowski, man.
1554
01:33:51,642 --> 01:33:54,435
Her real name
is Fawn Kneutson.
1555
01:33:54,519 --> 01:33:56,479
Her parents
want her back, see?
1556
01:33:57,648 --> 01:33:59,607
Jesus fucking Christ.
1557
01:33:59,691 --> 01:34:02,610
Crazy, huh?
Ran away about a year ago.
1558
01:34:02,694 --> 01:34:06,405
The Kneutsons told me
I should show her this
when I found her.
1559
01:34:06,490 --> 01:34:10,034
It's the family farm.
It's outside Moorhead, Minnesota.
1560
01:34:10,160 --> 01:34:13,246
- They think it'll make her homesick.
- Oh, boy.
1561
01:34:13,330 --> 01:34:14,956
How are you gonna keep them
down on the farm
1562
01:34:15,040 --> 01:34:16,999
once they've seen
Karl Hungus?
1563
01:34:17,626 --> 01:34:20,127
- She's been kidnapped, Da Fino.
- Oh, man.
1564
01:34:20,212 --> 01:34:21,420
Or I don't know.
Maybe not.
1565
01:34:21,505 --> 01:34:23,089
But she's definitely
not around.
1566
01:34:23,173 --> 01:34:27,093
Hey, maybe you and me
could pool our resources,
1567
01:34:27,511 --> 01:34:29,345
trade information.
1568
01:34:29,471 --> 01:34:31,264
Professional courtesy?
1569
01:34:31,848 --> 01:34:32,932
Compeers.
You know what I mean?
1570
01:34:33,016 --> 01:34:35,559
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Fuck off, Da Fino.
1571
01:34:35,644 --> 01:34:37,770
And stay away
from my special...
1572
01:34:37,854 --> 01:34:40,773
From my fucking
lady friend, man!
1573
01:34:43,360 --> 01:34:45,278
The lingonberry pancake.
1574
01:34:49,783 --> 01:34:51,909
Lingonberry pancakes.
1575
01:34:55,539 --> 01:34:57,373
Three pigs in blanket.
1576
01:35:03,380 --> 01:35:05,256
She has lingonberry pancakes.
1577
01:35:14,016 --> 01:35:17,310
I mean, we totally
fucked it up, man.
We fucked up his payoff.
1578
01:35:17,394 --> 01:35:19,603
We got the kidnappers
all pissed off.
1579
01:35:19,688 --> 01:35:21,939
And Lebowski, you know,
he yelled at me a lot,
1580
01:35:22,024 --> 01:35:24,150
but he didn't do
anything, huh?
1581
01:35:24,276 --> 01:35:26,485
- Well, sometimes it's a cathartic...
- No, no.
1582
01:35:26,570 --> 01:35:28,863
I'm saying that
if he knows I'm a fuckup,
1583
01:35:28,947 --> 01:35:31,324
why does he leave me
in charge of getting
his wife back?
1584
01:35:31,408 --> 01:35:34,744
Because he doesn't
fucking want her back, man.
1585
01:35:34,828 --> 01:35:37,997
He's had enough.
He no longer digs her.
It's all a show.
1586
01:35:38,081 --> 01:35:42,501
Okay, but then
why doesn't he give a shit
about his million bucks?
1587
01:35:42,586 --> 01:35:45,254
I mean, he knows we never
handed off his briefcase,
1588
01:35:45,422 --> 01:35:47,423
but he never asked
for it back.
1589
01:35:47,507 --> 01:35:50,593
The million bucks
was never in the briefcase.
1590
01:35:51,261 --> 01:35:54,305
The briefcase was
fucking empty, man.
1591
01:35:54,389 --> 01:35:57,058
The asshole was hoping
that they would kill her.
1592
01:35:57,142 --> 01:35:59,685
You threw out a ringer
for a ringer.
1593
01:35:59,770 --> 01:36:03,522
Okay, but how does
all this add up to an emergency?
1594
01:36:03,607 --> 01:36:07,818
I'm saying, I see what
you're getting at, Dude.
He kept the money.
1595
01:36:07,903 --> 01:36:09,737
My point is...
1596
01:36:09,821 --> 01:36:13,032
Here we are, it's shabbos,
the Sabbath,
1597
01:36:13,116 --> 01:36:17,161
which I'm allowed to break
only if it's a matter of
life or death.
1598
01:36:17,245 --> 01:36:20,581
Will you come off it, Walter?
You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
1599
01:36:20,665 --> 01:36:22,333
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1600
01:36:22,417 --> 01:36:23,793
Man, you're fucking
Polish Catholic!
1601
01:36:23,877 --> 01:36:25,503
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1602
01:36:25,587 --> 01:36:27,713
I converted when I married Cynthia.
Come on, Dude.
1603
01:36:27,798 --> 01:36:29,799
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You know this.
1604
01:36:29,883 --> 01:36:32,134
And five fucking years ago,
you were divorced.
1605
01:36:32,219 --> 01:36:33,719
So what are you saying?
When you get divorced,
1606
01:36:33,804 --> 01:36:35,930
you turn in your library card?
You get a new license?
1607
01:36:36,014 --> 01:36:39,100
- You stop being Jewish?
- This is the driveway.
1608
01:36:39,184 --> 01:36:41,227
- Jewish as fucking Tevye.
- Man.
1609
01:36:41,311 --> 01:36:45,564
You know, it's all a part
of your sick Cynthia thing.
1610
01:36:45,649 --> 01:36:49,568
Man, taking care of her
fucking dog, going to her
fucking synagogue.
1611
01:36:49,653 --> 01:36:51,487
You're living in
the fucking past.
1612
01:36:51,571 --> 01:36:54,907
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition,
from Moses to Sandy Koufax.
1613
01:36:54,991 --> 01:36:57,952
You're goddamn right I'm
living in the fucking past!
1614
01:36:58,036 --> 01:37:00,162
I've... Jesus.
1615
01:37:01,415 --> 01:37:03,332
What the hell happened?
1616
01:37:04,251 --> 01:37:07,086
So viva Las Vegas
1617
01:37:08,505 --> 01:37:11,424
Viva Las Vegas
1618
01:37:16,346 --> 01:37:18,347
Let's go. Fuck it.
1619
01:37:22,686 --> 01:37:24,103
Where was she, man?
1620
01:37:24,187 --> 01:37:26,188
Visiting friends of hers
in Palm Springs.
1621
01:37:26,273 --> 01:37:28,691
She just picked up and left,
never bothered to tell us.
1622
01:37:28,775 --> 01:37:31,277
Well, I guess
the fucking nihilists
knew where she was.
1623
01:37:31,361 --> 01:37:33,529
Jesus, Dude. She never
even kidnapped herself.
1624
01:37:33,655 --> 01:37:36,991
- Who is this gentleman, Dude?
- Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran.
1625
01:37:37,075 --> 01:37:38,284
- Come on!
- That's who I am.
1626
01:37:38,368 --> 01:37:40,911
You shouldn't go in there, Dude.
He's very angry.
1627
01:37:43,248 --> 01:37:44,623
So, man.
1628
01:37:44,708 --> 01:37:48,502
So? She's back,
no thanks to you.
1629
01:37:48,587 --> 01:37:50,963
Where's the fucking money,
Lebowski?
1630
01:37:51,047 --> 01:37:54,383
A million bucks
from fucking, needy,
little Urban Achievers!
1631
01:37:54,468 --> 01:37:55,968
You are scum, man!
1632
01:37:56,052 --> 01:37:58,304
- Who the hell is he?
- Who am I? Who am I?
1633
01:37:58,388 --> 01:37:59,972
- Walter.
- I'm the guy that's gonna kick your phony,
1634
01:38:00,056 --> 01:38:01,390
gold-bricking ass,
that's who I am.
Man.
1635
01:38:01,475 --> 01:38:03,309
We know the briefcase
was fucking empty.
1636
01:38:03,393 --> 01:38:05,436
We know you kept
the million bucks
for yourself.
1637
01:38:05,520 --> 01:38:07,104
You have your story,
I have mine.
1638
01:38:07,189 --> 01:38:10,483
I say I entrusted the money
to you and you stole it.
1639
01:38:10,567 --> 01:38:13,777
As if we would
ever dream of taking
your bullshit money!
1640
01:38:13,862 --> 01:38:16,071
You thought that Bunny
had been kidnapped,
1641
01:38:16,156 --> 01:38:17,740
and you were
fucking glad, man.
1642
01:38:17,824 --> 01:38:20,075
You could use it as an excuse
to make some money disappear.
1643
01:38:20,160 --> 01:38:23,454
All you needed was
a sap to pin it on.
You just met me.
1644
01:38:23,538 --> 01:38:26,457
You... You human paraquat.
1645
01:38:26,541 --> 01:38:30,002
You figured,
"Oh, here's a loser,
you know, a deadbeat.
1646
01:38:30,086 --> 01:38:32,671
"Somebody this square
community won't give
a shit about."
1647
01:38:32,756 --> 01:38:34,340
Well, aren't you?
1648
01:38:35,592 --> 01:38:39,345
- Well, yeah, but...
- Get out, both of you.
1649
01:38:39,429 --> 01:38:42,681
Look at that fucking phony,
Dude, pretending to be
a fucking millionaire.
1650
01:38:42,766 --> 01:38:45,059
Out of this house now,
you bums!
1651
01:38:45,143 --> 01:38:46,727
Let me tell you
something else.
1652
01:38:46,811 --> 01:38:50,564
I've seen a lot of spinals,
Dude, and this guy's a fake.
1653
01:38:51,274 --> 01:38:54,443
- A fucking gold-bricker.
- Stay away from me, mister!
1654
01:38:54,528 --> 01:38:56,195
This guy fucking walks.
1655
01:38:56,279 --> 01:38:58,614
I've never been more certain
of anything in my life.
1656
01:38:58,698 --> 01:38:59,865
You stay away from me!
1657
01:38:59,950 --> 01:39:02,368
Walter, for Christ's sake,
man! He's a cripple.
1658
01:39:02,452 --> 01:39:04,161
- I said! Get away from me!
- Come on. Come on.
1659
01:39:04,329 --> 01:39:07,790
Walter, put him down, man!
1660
01:39:07,874 --> 01:39:11,544
Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude.
Walk! Achtung, baby!
1661
01:39:28,812 --> 01:39:31,939
Come on, man. Help me
put him back in his chair.
1662
01:39:35,860 --> 01:39:37,861
At least they had the fucking
decency to tell us
1663
01:39:37,946 --> 01:39:40,322
that we were fighting
the communists.
1664
01:39:42,826 --> 01:39:46,245
Whereas this
whole fucking thing,
this whole fucking thing
1665
01:39:46,329 --> 01:39:49,164
is nothing about nothing,
about oil,
1666
01:39:49,249 --> 01:39:51,584
which is what I personally
hear, Dude.
1667
01:39:51,668 --> 01:39:53,961
Sure you'll see
some tank battles,
1668
01:39:54,045 --> 01:39:57,590
but fighting in desert
is very different from
fighting in canopy jungle.
1669
01:39:58,675 --> 01:40:02,094
I mean, Nam was
a foot soldier's war,
whereas this thing should...
1670
01:40:03,054 --> 01:40:05,306
You know, should be
a piece of cake.
1671
01:40:05,390 --> 01:40:08,809
I mean, I had an M16, Jacko,
not an Abrams fucking tank.
1672
01:40:08,935 --> 01:40:12,313
- Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball.
- Yeah.
1673
01:40:12,397 --> 01:40:14,732
That's fucking combat.
1674
01:40:14,816 --> 01:40:17,693
The man in the black
pajamas, Dude.
1675
01:40:17,777 --> 01:40:19,653
Worthy fucking adversary.
1676
01:40:19,738 --> 01:40:23,157
- Who's in pajamas, Walter?
- Shut the fuck up, Donny.
1677
01:40:23,241 --> 01:40:25,451
Whereas what we have here,
1678
01:40:25,535 --> 01:40:27,703
a bunch of fig eaters
wearing towels
on their head,
1679
01:40:27,787 --> 01:40:29,955
trying to find reverse
on a Soviet tank.
1680
01:40:30,832 --> 01:40:33,000
- This is not a worthy fucking adversary.
- Hey!
1681
01:40:33,084 --> 01:40:35,127
What's this day-of-rest shit?
1682
01:40:35,211 --> 01:40:36,795
What's this bullshit?
1683
01:40:36,880 --> 01:40:39,923
I don't fucking care!
It don't matter to Jesus.
1684
01:40:40,008 --> 01:40:41,467
But you not fooling me,
man.
1685
01:40:41,551 --> 01:40:44,261
You might fool the fucks
in the league office
1686
01:40:44,346 --> 01:40:46,639
but you don't fool Jesus.
1687
01:40:46,806 --> 01:40:49,516
It's Bush league
psych-out stuff.
1688
01:40:49,601 --> 01:40:51,018
Laughable, man!
1689
01:40:52,187 --> 01:40:55,272
I would've fucked you
in the ass Saturday.
1690
01:40:56,024 --> 01:40:58,942
I'll fuck you in the ass
next Wednesday instead.
1691
01:41:00,403 --> 01:41:02,863
You got a date
Wednesday, baby!
1692
01:41:07,744 --> 01:41:08,911
He's cracking.
1693
01:41:08,995 --> 01:41:10,704
...the whole concept of age.
1694
01:41:10,789 --> 01:41:12,998
I mean, many learned men
have disputed this
1695
01:41:13,083 --> 01:41:15,918
but in the 14th century,
the Rambam...
1696
01:41:25,929 --> 01:41:28,138
Well, they finally
did it.
1697
01:41:28,223 --> 01:41:30,349
They killed
my fucking car.
1698
01:41:30,433 --> 01:41:34,019
We want the money,
Lebowski.
1699
01:41:34,104 --> 01:41:36,605
Ja. Otherwise,
we kill the girl.
1700
01:41:36,690 --> 01:41:40,192
Ja. It seems you have
forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
1701
01:41:40,276 --> 01:41:43,028
You don't have the
fucking girl, dipshit.
1702
01:41:43,113 --> 01:41:45,364
We know you never did.
1703
01:41:45,448 --> 01:41:47,032
Are these the Nazis,
Walter?
1704
01:41:47,117 --> 01:41:48,826
No, Donny.
These men are nihilists.
1705
01:41:48,910 --> 01:41:50,327
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
1706
01:41:51,996 --> 01:41:53,080
We don't care.
1707
01:41:53,164 --> 01:41:57,626
We still want the money,
Lebowski, or we fuck you up.
1708
01:41:57,711 --> 01:42:00,379
- Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
- Cool it, Walter.
1709
01:42:00,463 --> 01:42:04,299
No. Without a hostage,
there is no ransom.
1710
01:42:04,384 --> 01:42:07,720
That's what ransom is.
Those are the fucking rules.
1711
01:42:07,804 --> 01:42:10,139
His girlfriend
gave up her toe.
1712
01:42:10,223 --> 01:42:12,558
She thought we could
get $1 million.
1713
01:42:12,642 --> 01:42:15,144
- It's not fair.
- Fair?
1714
01:42:15,228 --> 01:42:18,856
Who's the fucking nihilists
around here, you bunch
of fucking crybabies?
1715
01:42:18,940 --> 01:42:21,316
Cool it, Walter.
Hey, look, pal.
1716
01:42:21,401 --> 01:42:23,110
There never was any money.
1717
01:42:23,194 --> 01:42:25,320
The big Lebowski gave me
an empty briefcase,
1718
01:42:25,405 --> 01:42:27,448
so take it up with him, man.
1719
01:42:27,532 --> 01:42:30,075
And I would like
my undies back.
1720
01:42:30,160 --> 01:42:31,368
Are these guys gonna
hurt us, Walter?
1721
01:42:31,453 --> 01:42:33,912
No, Donny.
These men are cowards.
1722
01:42:33,997 --> 01:42:35,289
Okay!
1723
01:42:35,373 --> 01:42:38,917
So we takes the money
you have on you, and
we calls it even.
1724
01:42:40,336 --> 01:42:42,379
- Fuck you.
- Hey, no. Come on, Walter.
1725
01:42:42,464 --> 01:42:44,465
Come on, we're ending
this thing cheap, man.
1726
01:42:44,549 --> 01:42:47,134
- No. What's mine is mine.
- No, come on, Walter.
1727
01:42:47,218 --> 01:42:49,428
- No funny stuff.
- All right. All right.
1728
01:42:49,512 --> 01:42:54,266
- No funny stuff.
- I got 4 bucks, almost 5.
1729
01:42:54,350 --> 01:42:56,935
- I got $18.
- What's mine is mine.
1730
01:42:57,020 --> 01:43:00,147
We fuck you up, man!
We takes the money!
1731
01:43:00,690 --> 01:43:02,024
Come and get it.
1732
01:43:03,359 --> 01:43:07,613
- We fuck you up!
- Show me what you got, nihilists.
1733
01:43:07,697 --> 01:43:10,157
- I fuck you!
- Walter, come on. He's got a sword.
1734
01:43:10,241 --> 01:43:12,451
Fucking dipshit with
a nine-toed woman!
1735
01:43:12,535 --> 01:43:16,371
I fuck you! Fuck you!
I fuck you!
1736
01:43:22,545 --> 01:43:24,213
- Take it easy, man.
- I fuck you!
1737
01:43:24,297 --> 01:43:26,215
- Take the $4.
- I fuck you!
1738
01:43:30,553 --> 01:43:31,595
I fuck you!
1739
01:43:31,679 --> 01:43:33,555
I'm gonna hit you with
the fucking ball, man.
1740
01:43:38,311 --> 01:43:40,437
- Hey, dickhead!
- Anti-Semite.
1741
01:43:41,397 --> 01:43:44,107
I fuck you in the ass!
I fuck you in the ass!
1742
01:43:44,192 --> 01:43:47,319
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1743
01:43:47,403 --> 01:43:49,404
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1744
01:43:55,662 --> 01:43:57,621
We got a man down, Dude!
1745
01:44:01,334 --> 01:44:02,543
Oh, God. They shot him, man.
1746
01:44:02,627 --> 01:44:04,837
- He's not shot. No, Dude.
- Are you shot, Donny?
1747
01:44:04,963 --> 01:44:07,256
- There weren't any shots fired.
- Huh?
1748
01:44:07,340 --> 01:44:10,592
It's a heart attack.
Call the medics, Dude.
1749
01:44:11,135 --> 01:44:13,971
I'd go myself,
but I'm pumping blood,
might pass out.
1750
01:44:14,055 --> 01:44:17,349
Rest easy, good buddy.
You're doing fine.
1751
01:44:17,433 --> 01:44:19,852
We got help choppering in.
1752
01:44:47,380 --> 01:44:49,047
Hello, gentlemen.
1753
01:44:49,132 --> 01:44:51,383
- You are the bereaved?
- Yeah, man.
1754
01:44:52,051 --> 01:44:54,720
Francis Donnelly,
pleased to meet you.
1755
01:44:54,804 --> 01:44:57,097
- Jeff Lebowski.
- Walter Sobchak.
1756
01:44:57,181 --> 01:44:59,433
The Dude actually is...
1757
01:45:00,476 --> 01:45:02,394
- Excuse me?
- Oh, nothing.
1758
01:45:04,230 --> 01:45:08,901
Yes. I understand
you're taking away
the remains?
1759
01:45:08,985 --> 01:45:10,152
Yeah.
1760
01:45:10,904 --> 01:45:12,696
We have the urn.
1761
01:45:14,073 --> 01:45:16,283
I assume this is credit card?
1762
01:45:17,493 --> 01:45:18,577
Yeah.
1763
01:45:33,259 --> 01:45:34,676
What's this?
1764
01:45:35,428 --> 01:45:37,095
Now, that's for the urn.
1765
01:45:37,180 --> 01:45:39,181
Don't need it.
We're scattering the ashes.
1766
01:45:39,974 --> 01:45:42,601
Yes. So we were informed.
1767
01:45:42,685 --> 01:45:46,438
However, we must, of course,
transmit the remains to you
1768
01:45:46,522 --> 01:45:48,106
in a receptacle.
1769
01:45:49,359 --> 01:45:51,151
That's $180.
1770
01:45:51,486 --> 01:45:55,405
It is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1771
01:45:55,740 --> 01:45:57,908
- Well, can't we just...
- $180?
1772
01:45:57,992 --> 01:45:59,993
They range up to $3,000.
1773
01:46:00,787 --> 01:46:03,914
- We're...
- Can't we just rent it from you, you know?
1774
01:46:03,998 --> 01:46:06,792
Sir, this is a mortuary
not a rental house.
1775
01:46:06,918 --> 01:46:09,252
- We're scattering the fucking ashes!
- Walter, Walter.
1776
01:46:09,337 --> 01:46:11,838
Just because we're bereaved
doesn't make us saps.
1777
01:46:11,923 --> 01:46:14,299
Sir, please lower
your voices.
1778
01:46:14,384 --> 01:46:18,470
Man, don't you have,
you know, something else
we can put him in?
1779
01:46:18,554 --> 01:46:19,596
You know?
1780
01:46:19,681 --> 01:46:22,724
That is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1781
01:46:23,017 --> 01:46:24,601
God damn it!
1782
01:46:26,729 --> 01:46:28,397
Is there a Ralph's
around here?
1783
01:46:55,425 --> 01:46:58,093
Donny was a good bowler
and a good man.
1784
01:46:59,345 --> 01:47:01,471
He was one of us.
1785
01:47:01,556 --> 01:47:05,475
He was a man who loved
the outdoors and bowling.
1786
01:47:05,601 --> 01:47:09,354
And as a surfer
he explored the beaches
of Southern California
1787
01:47:09,439 --> 01:47:12,232
from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo
1788
01:47:12,316 --> 01:47:14,901
and up to Pismo.
1789
01:47:15,695 --> 01:47:16,945
He died...
1790
01:47:17,947 --> 01:47:22,034
He died as so many young men
of his generation, before his time.
1791
01:47:22,118 --> 01:47:25,287
In your wisdom, Lord,
you took him,
1792
01:47:25,413 --> 01:47:28,707
as you took so many bright,
flowering young men
1793
01:47:28,791 --> 01:47:31,626
at Khe Sanh, at Lan Doc,
1794
01:47:31,711 --> 01:47:33,462
at Hill 364.
1795
01:47:34,756 --> 01:47:37,132
These young men
gave their lives,
1796
01:47:37,717 --> 01:47:39,176
and so did Donny.
1797
01:47:41,304 --> 01:47:43,305
Donny, who loved bowling.
1798
01:47:46,350 --> 01:47:47,350
And so,
1799
01:47:48,978 --> 01:47:51,354
Theodore Donald Kerabatsos,
1800
01:47:52,648 --> 01:47:57,778
in accordance with
what we think your dying
wishes might well have been,
1801
01:47:59,113 --> 01:48:01,907
we commit your final
mortal remains
1802
01:48:02,825 --> 01:48:05,202
to the bosom of
the Pacific Ocean
1803
01:48:06,662 --> 01:48:08,663
which you loved so well.
1804
01:48:11,000 --> 01:48:13,085
Good night, sweet prince.
1805
01:48:28,226 --> 01:48:29,643
Shit.
1806
01:48:31,562 --> 01:48:33,605
Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1807
01:48:35,399 --> 01:48:38,527
- Goddamn wind.
- Fuck, god damn it, Walter!
1808
01:48:38,611 --> 01:48:40,904
You fucking asshole!
Shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1809
01:48:40,988 --> 01:48:43,198
Everything's a fucking
travesty with you, man!
1810
01:48:43,282 --> 01:48:44,866
I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
1811
01:48:44,951 --> 01:48:47,452
- What was that shit about Vietnam?
- Dude, I'm sorry.
1812
01:48:47,537 --> 01:48:49,830
What the fuck does anything
have to do with Vietnam?
1813
01:48:49,914 --> 01:48:51,915
- Dude, I'm sorry.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
1814
01:48:51,999 --> 01:48:53,583
Dude, I'm sorry.
1815
01:48:56,504 --> 01:48:57,712
Fucking...
1816
01:49:04,720 --> 01:49:06,179
Fuck, Walter.
1817
01:49:08,057 --> 01:49:09,558
Come on, Dude.
1818
01:49:10,393 --> 01:49:12,060
Hey, fuck it, man.
1819
01:49:15,982 --> 01:49:17,607
Let's go bowling.
1820
01:49:41,090 --> 01:49:44,426
♫ And when you're sittin' there
1821
01:49:45,052 --> 01:49:48,180
♫ In your silk upholstered chair
1822
01:49:49,682 --> 01:49:53,727
♫ Talkin' to some rich folks
that you know
1823
01:49:57,064 --> 01:49:59,900
♫ Well, I hope you don't see me
1824
01:50:00,902 --> 01:50:04,112
♫ In my ragged company
1825
01:50:04,906 --> 01:50:09,951
♫ Oh, but you know
I could never be alone
1826
01:50:12,121 --> 01:50:15,123
- Two oat sodas, Gary.
- Right. Good Iuck tomorrow.
1827
01:50:15,208 --> 01:50:18,668
- Yeah, thanks, man.
- I was sorry to hear about Donny.
1828
01:50:18,753 --> 01:50:21,630
Oh, yeah. Well, you know,
1829
01:50:22,465 --> 01:50:26,426
sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes, you know...
1830
01:50:26,510 --> 01:50:27,802
Hey, man.
1831
01:50:28,596 --> 01:50:31,765
- How do you do, Dude?
- I wondered if I'd see you again.
1832
01:50:31,849 --> 01:50:33,892
I wouldn't miss
the semis.
1833
01:50:33,976 --> 01:50:35,602
- Oh, yeah?
- How's things been going?
1834
01:50:35,686 --> 01:50:38,813
Well, you know,
strikes and gutters,
ups and downs.
1835
01:50:38,898 --> 01:50:41,608
- Sure. I got you.
- Yeah.
1836
01:50:43,152 --> 01:50:44,194
Thanks, Gary.
1837
01:50:44,278 --> 01:50:46,613
Well, take care, man.
Gotta get back.
1838
01:50:46,697 --> 01:50:49,741
- Sure. Take it easy, Dude.
- Oh, yeah.
1839
01:50:49,825 --> 01:50:51,910
I know that you will.
1840
01:50:51,994 --> 01:50:55,330
Yeah. Well,
the Dude abides.
1841
01:50:59,335 --> 01:51:00,543
Walter.
1842
01:51:02,255 --> 01:51:04,214
The Dude abides.
1843
01:51:08,135 --> 01:51:11,471
I don't know about you,
but I take comfort in that.
1844
01:51:12,765 --> 01:51:14,975
It's good knowing
he's out there,
1845
01:51:15,059 --> 01:51:19,145
the Dude, taking her easy
for all us sinners.
1846
01:51:21,857 --> 01:51:24,025
I sure hope
he makes the finals.
1847
01:51:25,653 --> 01:51:27,779
Well, that about does her.
1848
01:51:27,863 --> 01:51:29,364
Wraps her all up.
1849
01:51:30,950 --> 01:51:34,411
Things seem to have
worked out pretty good
for the Dude and Walter.
1850
01:51:35,079 --> 01:51:38,373
And it was
a pretty good story,
don't you think?
1851
01:51:39,208 --> 01:51:41,543
Made me laugh
to beat the band.
1852
01:51:42,211 --> 01:51:43,670
Parts anyway.
1853
01:51:45,214 --> 01:51:47,382
I didn't like seeing Donny go.
1854
01:51:48,509 --> 01:51:53,555
But then I happen to know
that there's a little
Lebowski on the way.
1855
01:51:55,224 --> 01:51:58,560
I guess that's the way
the whole darned
human comedy keeps
1856
01:51:59,103 --> 01:52:01,438
perpetuating itself
1857
01:52:01,522 --> 01:52:03,690
down through the generations.
1858
01:52:04,191 --> 01:52:08,445
Westward the wagons,
across the sands of time until we...
1859
01:52:09,655 --> 01:52:12,866
Oh, look at me.
I'm rambling again.
1860
01:52:14,243 --> 01:52:16,745
Well, I hope you folks
enjoyed yourselves.
1861
01:52:17,246 --> 01:52:19,581
Catch you later on
down the trail.
1862
01:52:20,750 --> 01:52:23,877
Say, friend, you got any more
of that good sarsaparilla?
1863
01:52:46,817 --> 01:52:50,820
♫ Take me down, little Susie
1864
01:52:50,905 --> 01:52:52,739
♫ Take me down
1865
01:52:56,035 --> 01:52:58,536
♫ I know you think
you're the queen
1866
01:52:58,621 --> 01:53:00,747
♫ Of the underground
1867
01:53:04,460 --> 01:53:09,422
♫ Send me dead flowers
every morning
1868
01:53:12,802 --> 01:53:17,305
♫ Send me dead flowers
by the mail
1869
01:53:21,102 --> 01:53:25,563
♫ Send me dead flowers
to my wedding
1870
01:53:28,109 --> 01:53:35,073
♫ And I won't forget to put
roses on your grave
1871
01:53:36,367 --> 01:53:40,703
♫ No, I won't forget
to put roses
1872
01:53:40,788 --> 01:53:45,083
♫ On your grave
1873
01:54:10,192 --> 01:54:14,737
♫ Bright light city
gonna set my soul
1874
01:54:15,197 --> 01:54:18,908
♫ Gonna set my soul on fire
1875
01:54:20,244 --> 01:54:25,373
♫ Got a whole lot of money
that's ready to burn
1876
01:54:25,458 --> 01:54:29,085
♫ So get those stakes up higher
1877
01:54:30,671 --> 01:54:35,425
♫ There's a thousand pretty
women livin' out there
1878
01:54:36,177 --> 01:54:41,264
♫ They're all livin'
devil may care
1879
01:54:41,348 --> 01:54:45,810
♫ And I'm just a devil
with love to spare
1880
01:54:45,895 --> 01:54:50,148
♫ So viva Las Vegas
1881
01:54:51,692 --> 01:54:55,737
♫ Viva Las Vegas
1882
01:54:59,450 --> 01:55:04,120
♫ Viva Las Vegas
with your neon flashing
1883
01:55:04,205 --> 01:55:07,165
♫ And your one-arm
bandits crashing
1884
01:55:07,249 --> 01:55:10,835
♫ All those hopes down the drain
1885
01:55:12,421 --> 01:55:17,592
♫ Viva Las Vegas turnin'
day into nighttime
1886
01:55:17,676 --> 01:55:20,178
♫ Night into daytime
1887
01:55:20,262 --> 01:55:22,430
♫ If you see it once
1888
01:55:22,515 --> 01:55:28,937
♫ You'll never be the same again
1889
01:55:30,981 --> 01:55:35,443
♫ I'm gonna keep on
keep on runnin'
1890
01:55:35,528 --> 01:55:39,280
♫ If it costs me
my very last dime
1891
01:55:40,783 --> 01:55:43,117
♫ If I wind up broke
1892
01:55:43,202 --> 01:55:45,411
♫ Well, I'll always remember
1893
01:55:45,496 --> 01:55:49,541
♫ That I had a swingin' time
1894
01:55:51,377 --> 01:55:55,463
♫ I'm gonna give it
everything I've got
1895
01:55:56,590 --> 01:56:00,802
♫ Lady Luck, please
let the dice stay hot
1896
01:56:01,720 --> 01:56:06,224
♫ Let me shoot a seven
on every shot
1897
01:56:06,308 --> 01:56:10,520
♫ So viva Las Vegas
1898
01:56:12,064 --> 01:56:15,817
♫ Viva Las Vegas
1899
01:56:17,194 --> 01:56:21,406
♫ Viva Las Vegas
1900
01:56:22,283 --> 01:56:24,158
♫ Viva
1901
01:56:25,160 --> 01:56:26,661
♫ Viva
1902
01:56:27,621 --> 01:56:29,122
♫ Viva
1903
01:56:30,207 --> 01:56:33,459
♫ Viva
1904
01:56:34,712 --> 01:56:41,509
♫ Las Vegas
1905
01:56:45,848 --> 01:56:49,183
♫ Viva
138885
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