Original subtitles

** [ambient]

[heavy machinery running]

Are you afraid?

What?

Are you afraid?

Afraid of what?

You Dutch?

Who wants to know?

Not me. I don't give a monkey's nut.

Bob back there says you're digging in his trench,

if you catch my drift.

And he's on his way here, so heads up, loverboy.

You're a prince, man.

Hey. [slaps pipe]

If anyone asks, I had a doctor's appointment, okay?

[scoffs]

[bubbling]

[blade slams]

Hey, Bob.

I didn't see you climb up in there.

[bulldozer engine racing]

Hey, it's a good gag, man, really.

[bulldozer engine racing]

Uh, hey, you wanna talk about this?

Okay. Cut it out, okay?

[whimpering]

[engine revs]

Hey, look, man, I didn't know she was your old lady.

Come on, please!

[engine revs]

Damn it!

[wire snapping]

[grunts]

[footsteps approaching]

Holy crap!

Dude, he is so dead.

Who is it?

I don't know.

We better call someone.

I guess.

[cell phone beeping]

Days without a workplace injury...zero.

Dude, look at his face.

[Man] Thank you very much for seeing me

on such short notice, Mr. Kent,

but I believe that you will--

you will find this completely scintillating

and-- and quite exciting.

[clears throat]

Anyway, um...

this is the crux of the problem, you see.

If you look at the population decline

in the grgrayy ground squirrels--

Ground squirrels?

We're building a world-class executive retreat,

and you're wasting Mr. Kent's time with ground squirrels?

Mr. Kent, the animal life at Cedar Gate is disappearing.

Um, let's--

Squirrels and rabbits, field mice.

I mean, even the bird population has dwindled

almost overnight,

and for no apparent scientific reason.

Now, until we have a chance to study this further,

I strongly suggest you hold off

excavating an extensive drainage system.

I see.

So you want me to lay off 65 men

and put a half million dollars of heavy equipment on blocks

because you can't find enough field mice?

Mr. Connelly--

Doctor Connelly.

Doctor Connelly.

[inhales]

Of course.

I'm well aware of your reputation.

That's why I hired you.

Now you said that the soil toxicity is minimal.

Oh, yes, but--

And apart from one death,

and that was alcohol related,

we've had no problem on the site.

Well, now that's not true.

You have one big problem.

Me.

I can't endorse commercial development at this time.

Sit down.

Good idea.

[wheelchair motor whirrs]

Now, you--

You--

Take Doctor Connelly out of here.

This man is a security risk.

Make sure that he never slips into this building again.

I'm a scientist!

[motor whirring]

Why me?

Why do I always get stuck with the global warming nuts?

[thuds]

I'm Vicky Valentines reporting from Channel 6 news.

We're here today at the Clean Planet Concordance

where we're hoping to meet some celeb--

Oh, I believe we have someone here.

Finally. It's Mikaela.

Hi. Mikaela, you're a glamorous girl.

Why are you here today?

I just have a soft spot for the environment.

I'm just so happy to be here.

[Woman] Isn't this exciting?

Our first conference and it's the Clean Planet Concordance.

God, they're famous!

Famous for being an effete bunch

of tree-huggers and whale-lovers.

They should try doing my job.

I doubt any one of us could manage a hotel.

And talk about multi-tasking.

I couldn't imagine a more challenging job.

Well, we like to think of ourselves

as a conference center, rather than a hotel,

but you're right about the multi-tasking. Doug Middleton.

I'm nominally in charge of this bunch

and they had this dumb idea

that anyone who can live off grubs and tree bark

in the Papua New Guinea highlands

can coordinate a conference.

That isn't a dumb idea at all.

I'm Kaley Spence, the events coordinator here.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Oh, this is Aimee, my assistant.

If there's anything you need, please let me know.

You're our first big conference,

and we want to make sure everything is perfect.

Everything will be perfect.

Of course, it will.

I have complete faith in all of you.

[cell phone ringing]

Symes.

There's no plumbing problem.

Help!

Shoot, rats, shoot.

Don't let her get me, please.

Don't let who get you? What's the matter?

She's lost it.

There's smoke coming out of her ears. Who?

Don't even think about avoiding me, Eugene Herman!

[sighs] Too late.

I am livid.

Can you see how livid I am?

I didn't miss Tyra Banks' birthday

to play second banana to you.

Miss Strovsky, can I help you with something?

Yes, hold this.

CNN didn't come all the way out here

to photograph some nerdy Web blogger with bad skin.

What idiot made you keynote speaker?

I would be the idiot in question.

Miss Strovsky, it is my pleasure to meet you,

and I am very sorry about the schedule change.

But when I read Eugene's piece on climate variation,

I was so impressed with it.

[dog barking]

[gasps]

Oh, Cleopatra. [dog whining]

Oh, poor baby!

Did she hurt you?

I-- I didn't know it was in there.

I was bitten when I was a kid and I've just--

I've been terrified of dogs ever since.

I'm really sorry. Ignorance is no excuse.

[cameras clicking]

I'd like you to stop by my room, Father,

to discuss your scheduling.

Oh, and by the way, I love The Thorn Birds.

Ah, you forgot--

[fingers snapping]

...your dog. Thank you, thank you.

You saved me from the Wicked Witch of the Upper West Side.

Right, with my little dog phobia.

Well, you're afraid of dogs, I'm afraid of public speaking.

My mother's afraid of margins.

Everybody's afraid of something.

It's okay, Eugene.

No one ever died from public speaking.

Found your room yet? [inhales]

Well, everything seems to be off to a good start.

Oh, right.

Sorry. [yips]

Oh, yeah.

I'll get her dog back to her.

[inhaler rattling]

[inhaler hisses softly] [inhales]

We're all going to die!

[coughing]

We're all going to die!

You're gonna die and you.

And, oh, we both know you're gonna die.

Unless we do-- unless--

unless-- Where am I?

Unless we take immediate action

to reverse the damage we're doing

to the envirody-- envirody--

environment,

humanity as a species is--

is doomed!

Be afraid, ladies and gentlemen.

Be very afraid.

[coughing]

That wasn't so bad.

Kind of liked it.

Thanks, tree, you're always there for me.

Oh, oh, perfect.

I can just see myself at the podium,

shaking the hands of a Nobel Prize winning biologist

and I smear black goo all over him.

I'm such a loser.

Why am I even here?

[inhales]

[thunderclap]

[thunderclap]

Hello?

Is anybody there?

[thunderclap]

I think I took a wrong turn.

[inhales]

[thunderclap]

Is anyone else here?

[thunderclap] Hello?

[creature snarling]

Hello?

[thunderclap]

[inhales]

[thunder rumbling]

[creature shrieking]

[screaming]

Help!

Oh, boy. Sheik Abdullah requires halal meal service.

Halal, that's just like kosher, right? I guess.

Some sort of weird diet plan

refrigeration made irrelevant a million years ago.

My sister-in-law still keeps kosher.

Oh.

Hey, can you believe that globe-trotting he-man

is a priest?

Father Douglas Middleton, whoa, that's just--

A total waste of man flesh.

I was going to say creepy.

And Miss Strovsky with the little dog,

is that Mikaela Strovsky

from the cover of Vanity Fair last month?

Yes, and interview with Vogue,

one notorious layout in Hustler.

Oh.

Why creepy?

You haven't had a, you know,

bad experience with a priest, have you?

God, no. I mean, no.

They've all been perfectly lovely.

It's just, I don't know.

Priests, nuns, rabbis,

they just make me self-conscious, you know?

Like, did I just take the Lord's name in vain?

Are my pants too tight?

I'm gonna go break the news to the chef.

They're a little tight.

I am way, way too cute to be out in the wilderness

on a stupid conference.

Like, environmental people are really ugly.

Is she talking to herself?

And my room is about this big,

and there is no spa at this hotel.

Oh, ah, either that, or she's having a philosophical debate

with her laptop.

I'm not sure which is worse. Neither am I.

But if the dog answers her back,

that might be pretty entertaining.

Say my dinner date bailed on me tonight.

Any chance I can talk you into joining me?

Me?

Mm-hmm. [stammering] Oh, I don't--

Oh, the food here is that bad, huh?

No, no, it's just that I have so much to do

before the rest of the guests--

You're not gonna make me go over there

and talk to the dog, are you?

And nobody knows how to dress.

Like, come on.

Sure, okay.

Thank you.

So, who stood you up?

My keynote speaker, and I am crushed.

Oh, Eugene. Mmm.

Oh, he's probably hiding under his bed.

Now, don't judge a book by its cover.

He's a brilliant young man.

Eugene's mean green machine kicks ass--

Environmentally speaking.

So, let's go see what she's doing.

And my sheets have a thread count

of about zero! [huffs]

Anyways, everyone knows that my father funds fifty percent

of CPC's annual budget.

When Daddy hears that they snubbed me in favor of a geek,

who couldn't even get elected student body president,

OMG, he's absolutely gonna lose it!

[fingers snapping]

Waiter, menu now!

[sighs] Everybody's so slow here.

She has a video blog, of course, she does.

Sometimes I wonder about my calling.

An all-knowing and merciful god

would never have created celebutantes.

Can you please, um, get me a menu?

And my table is dirty!

You're not like any other priest I've ever met.

People keep telling me that.

I hope it's a compliment.

It is. Good.

I'm-- I'm sorry. May I?

Oh, my-- my pendant. Yes.

[chuckling] Sure.

It was a gift from my grandmother.

Is she from around here?

Yeah, yeah. How did you know?

Well, it's an Anishinabe artifact.

It's typical of the Ojibway who are indigenous to the area.

Wow! You know more about it than I do.

My grandmother was Ojibway.

She died when I was young, and this is all I have of her.

Call it superstitious, but I never take it off.

Don't confuse spirituality with superstition.

The Ojibway have a belief system that connects

all living things to aki--

the Earth.

I'm afraid you're talking to a confirmed agnostic.

Really?

Mm-hmm. Well, technically,

agnostic means you haven't made up your mind,

so I won't put you down as a confirmed anything just yet.

Cheers.

[glasses clinking]

[wind blowing]

Good morning.

Good morning.

I don't suppose you've seen Eugene this morning, have you?

Not a hair.

And I've been up for, oh, way too long.

Have you checked his room?

Yeah, yeah, there's nothing.

The door was locked, of course.

It's just dinner last night

and then I can't find him anywhere today,

it's just strange. Yeah.

I'll check with security.

That'd be great. [radio beeps]

Aimee, can you have Jackson Deadmarsh meet us at security?

Deadmarsh.

[bell dings]

Jackson Deadmarsh?

Well, there can't be two Jack Deadmarshes.

Did he used to be chief of police in Eugene, Oregon?

Yeah, yeah. We're lucky to have someone with his qualifications.

Do you know him?

Sort of. I sued him.

The church's freedom project filed suit

on behalf of a young Native American convicted of murder.

The boy insisted that Deadmarsh

had fabricated evidence against him.

Well, that wasn't on his resume.

I'm not surprised.

Anyway, it was dropped.

Either Deadmarsh was clean, or he hid his tracks well.

What happened to the convict?

Jim Bailey? He was executed.

Ooh.

These need to be secured, so make a note.

Jackson!

Kaley.

I was just saying to Tony how these side entrances

need to have security locks,

so only guests with key cards can get in.

What would we do without you?

You've met father Douglas Middleton?

I know him by reputation.

To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?

My keynote speaker is missing.

No one's seen him since last night.

We were hoping you had him on your radar.

Eugene Herman, late 20's, kind of awkward for his age.

Yeah, propeller head, the geek.

Nope, I haven't spotted him.

Oh. Can you let us into his room then?

We just want to make sure he's okay.

He's asthmatic.

This altitude is hard for him.

Not a problem.

Not you, though.

This is hotel business.

But-- It's--

It's fine, Kaley.

I'll go check the library.

I've fallen asleep in the stacks

more than once myself.

I'll catch up with you later.

Okay.

Hey.

So you two have history,

there's no need to be rude to a guest.

Just doing my job

the best way I know how.

It's what I've always done.

Of course.

My job.

The best way I know how.

Okay.

Tony, hold down the fort, will you?

Sure thing, boss.

[door closes]

[beeping]

Mr. Herman?

Hotel security.

[banging]

Eugene?

[banging continues]

There's someone in there.

Okay.

It's-- It's broke.

I'm fixing it, I swear.

Deadmarsh, you shoot my apprentice,

and I'll make you clean the crud

out of the bathroom drains.

Old habits die hard, you know what I mean?

Father Middleton is missing one of his delegates.

Have you see the guy who stays here?

Ain't seen no one no how.

Well, did Eugene call for maintenance himself?

Maybe. Everyone and their mother-in-law's been calling.

Mikaela Strovsky's got us on speed dial.

There's some kind of blockage in the drain system,

and I can't find it to save my life.

Well, you keep at it, Reggie.

I have confidence in you.

But if you see him, give us a call, all right?

Sure thing, Kaley.

Hank, I can use you in here. [door closes]

And take those damn things out of your ears before you go deaf.

[goo slithering]

Look at this! It's all over me.

I can't wash Cleopatra. I can't wash myself. [dog whimpering]

All that comes out of the sink is goo.

Goo and more goo!

Yes, well there must be some kind of a plumbing problem.

You're the conference coordinator.

Shouldn't you be handling these types of things?

See, I don't actually... work for the hotel. All my nails are falling off.

I'm a guest as you are, and I'm not much of a plumber.

But, you know what? I will call maintenance for you.

[dog barking] Cleo! Wait!

Oh, Mikaela, don't you think you should get dressed first?

Naughty boy.

You were looking at my ta-tas.

I thought you were a priest.

I am a priest.

I'm not a corpse.

[chuckles]

You're funny.

Have you always been so funny?

My mother thinks so.

You like Mikaela, don't you?

You know, I've always had a thing for men in collars,

just all seems so... naughty.

Cleopatra.

Your dog?

Tell maintenance that they can retrieve my dog.

And I'd like her bathed before she's returned to my room.

Your loss.

[door slams]

It's never easy.

Hola. Bonjour. Buon giorno.

I hope you all are having a beautiful day.

Mikaela is having a terrible day.

Cleopatra has run off.

I'm distraught.

Cleopatra is my life.

[zapping]

Hippo?

Hmm, anyways...

Hey, boss, it's an inhaler.

The preacher said the kid had asthma.

Boss.

Jeez!

Ah, jeez.

Look at his face!

You look at his face, I'm going back to the lodge.

I've never seen asthma do that to anyone before.

What do you want me to do with the body, boss?

Do you want me to throw it in the infirmary?

Oh, yeah, that'll help.

Put him in the kitchen cooler.

Are you joking?

Do I look like I'm joking?

The chef will have a heart attack

and then we got two bodies to worry about.

Maybe we should call the funeral parlor.

They can warehouse the body until we notify the next of kin.

What?

Funeral parlors, dead bodies, it all gives me the willies.

Ah, tough guy, huh?

Look, all I'm asking you to do is secure a body, okay?

Not spend a night in a coffin.

Why'd you have to put that idea in my head?

Now I'm not gonna sleep for a week.

You're an ass, Deadmarsh.

I'm the ass that signs your time cards.

Look, if you can't make the call,

put the body in the cooler

before he gets up and starts moving around!

[dial tone]

[phone slams]

Isaac found me the most wonderful outfit

to open the Clean Planet Concordance.

Isaac Mizrahi.

[gasps]

[chuckles]

Whew.

A word to the wise, my darlings.

If you're going to drink in the morning,

make sure it's clear beverages only.

Vodka, gin, hmm.

What else is clear?

Water.

[faucet squeaks] [gurgles]

Ugh.

Ick and more ick.

[gasps]

[goo slithering]

Very funny!

[screaming]

[screams]

[goo dripping]

Stop it! Stop it!

[goo dripping, bubbling]

[heavy breathing]

[crash]

[thunderclap] [zap]

No.

[thunderclap] [zap]

[screaming]

[panting]

Not me.

Not me.

[screaming]

[snarling]

Kaley!

It's okay, it's okay.

[speaking Ojibway]

Housekeeping, hello?

Housekeeping.

Kaley?

Kaley!

This is an exclusive property.

We can't have dead people here.

This is very bad for us.

No good for Eugene, either.

What was that?

Eugene, he was a good kid.

Super shy, terrified of public speaking.

It's a horrible way to die, don't you think?

Hello? Housekeeping.

[screaming]

Earth to Kaley. Can you empathize with me for 10 seconds here, please?

This is our first conference.

I don't want it to be our last.

We can't afford for anything to go wrong.

[screaming]

[phone ringing]

Events, Kaley speaking.

What?

This is great.

This is just...great.

I didn't do anything. I didn't touch her.

Of course you didn't, Manuela.

She obviously committed suicide.

Poor girl must have been very unhappy.

Unhappy about what?

Her father is rich as Croesus.

She was famous just for being famous.

She's got everything she wants.

Well, maybe when you have everything,

you're afraid of losing everything.

Probably drugs.

This is exactly how you found it?

I didn't touch anything.

Okay, well I'll tell the police that,

but they may still want to talk to you.

Miss Kaley, can I go?

I feel ill.

I'll call you if I need you, okay.

[cell phone beep]

Are you crazy?

We have to file a police report.

We don't need to file it right now.

She killed herself.

What difference are the police going to make?

Well, what do you want me to do?

Call our cop-- Deadmarsh.

He can stash her with asthma boy.

And, uh, get Reggie to replace that mirror.

Kaley, how's my favorite events coordinator?

It's Alvin Symes, Mr. Kent.

Good to hear your voice.

Big week, huh?

Mr. Kent, there have been some unfortunate developments.

One of the conference delegates was found dead this morning

from an apparent asthma attack.

And just now--

Now what? Spit it out, Symes.

Mikaela Strovsky slit her wrists.

Who?

Wait.

Leon Strovsky's kid?

I'm afraid so.

What the hell is wrong with you?

How could you let this happen?

Her, of all people?

It wasn't my fault. I promise you.

I did everything to make opening week perfect,

detail perfect.

Has the press got wind of this yet?

The only ones who know are the maid

who found the body and Kaley.

She wants to call the police.

No frickn' way.

That's what I told her, but--

If this goes wide,

the only conferences we'll get at Cedar Gates

will be celebrity death tours.

Do you want to operate a shuttle bus?

No, sir.

Well, keep it under wraps

until P.R. puts the right spin on it.

You can do that much, can't you?

What do you want me to tell the staff?

You tell them,

anybody opens their mouth,

and they're out of a job.

And Alvin,

that includes you.

Reggie?

Are you down here?

Reggie?

Reggie?

[video game on TV]

Reggie?

[scream] [sinister laughter]

Jeez, Hank.

What a mess.

Reggie?

[sinister laughter]

Reggie.

Reggie?

[gasps]

It's just a little dog, Kaley.

It's okay.

Cleopatra?

[dog whining]

[whistling]

Come here.

[whistling]

[dog whimpers]

[whistling]

[thunderclap] [growling]

No. No.

[growling]

[thunderclap]

[scream]

[heavy breathing]

[thunder rumbles]

[gasps]

[thunderclap]

[thunderclap]

[growling]

[thunderclap]

[growling]

No. No.

[snarling]

[thunderclap]

[growling]

[growling]

[scream]

Where did it go?

Where did what go?

The dog, the wolf-dog.

Is it hiding?

Kaley, there is no dog.

How did you get here?

You were calling for help. I was?

Yeah.

I don't remember.

Thank you.

Ah, it's all right.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Just 'cause you're not afraid

doesn't mean there's nothing to be afraid of.

I think I just found your dog.

[speaking Ojibway]

Great Spirit, teach us to love,

to heal the Earth and each other.

I am life, I am love, and I do not fear.

Here, drink this.

It's non-caffeinated.

Thanks.

There was no wolf.

My men searched the basement.

There was no wolf,

only just Mikaela Strovsky's poodle,

and she was in no shape to chase anything.

It's a papillon.

Whatever.

Oh, we never did find a suicide note in her room.

Is that important?

Is it suspicious?

Not all suicides leave notes.

But a camera hog like Mikaela...

I can't imagine her not wanting to have the last word.

It wasn't really a wolf.

It was a cross-breed--

half wolf, half German Shepherd.

How do you know?

Because I remember it.

It was our neighbor's dog, from when we were kids.

So evil.

The dog or the neighbor?

Both.

Father Fitch and his wolf-dog, Ajax.

We used to play in the ruins of his old chapel.

He caught us fooling around once

and he sic'd Ajax on us.

He bit me so bad, he put me in the hospital.

I've been terrified of dogs my whole life because of it.

That was the animal that attacked you today?

Yeah.

[laughing]

That was 20 years ago.

Maybe you just got a few of your facts mixed up.

It's not the kind of thing you forget.

[sinister laughter]

[video game continues]

Hank?

Hank?

Rot in hell, Sister Mary Augusta.

[video game gunshots]

Off your duff, Hank. We got work.

Buzzkill!

I was five seconds away

from breaking my lifetime high score in House of the Dead.

Yeah, yeah, by pretending the zombies are your teachers

from Catholic elementary school.

Those are some scary nuns, man.

Hey, everyone needs motivation.

What are the moon suits for?

We got to go down in the sewer.

The drains are plugged worse than ever.

Guests are checking out,

and Symes is having palpitations.

Symes can rot in hell.

Hmm.

Guests are checking out 'cause the damn building's got

a death curse on it.

Hank!

You know, any time I doubt the existence of God,

all it takes is one look at a view like this

to convince me.

You mean you don't always believe in God?

Isn't that a basic job requirement?

Sorry.

This is weird.

What's weird?

Talking to a priest about his vocation,

or talking to a priest like he's a regular guy?

[chuckles] Both.

See, my calling is about more than belief.

It's about faith,

which some people define as belief without evidence.

For instance,

everyone here says there's no trace

of your wolf in the basement.

But, I believe you saw what you say you saw.

You do?

I do.

Well, I wish somebody else believed.

I've got Symes that's this close to firing me.

I'm losing the confidence of my staff.

And with two mysterious deaths, your delegates are suddenly

remembering they have pressing business in Beijing.

It's been a very strange last few days, hasn't it?

Yeah.

Come on, walk with me.

So when did you decide you wanted to be a priest?

Ah, I was called to service when I was 13.

How does a 13-year-old boy think that God is calling him?

It's funny, I never wondered about that for a minute.

I always wondered why God called me.

I'm serious.

So am I.

It's not like wanting to be an astronaut,

or a firefighter.

How do you know at 13

you're not gonna want to get married,

or have kids, or have--

[laughing]

I'm, I'm not a Catholic priest.

I'm Episcopalian.

What?

We get married, we have children,

and we can even hold hands at the movie theater.

Oh.

So then why aren't you...

Married? Yeah.

I travel a lot.

I'm devoted to my mission.

I just haven't found the right gal.

Oh.

Or maybe I'm afraid of commitment.

So in other words, you're a typical man.

Get out before it's too late!

Whoa, wait.

Who was that?

Let's go find out.

Come on, come on.

[chain clanging]

Watch it.

Who needs video games?

This is real-life Tomb Raider.

Yeah, or Doom.

I hate my job.

What the hell?

What?

We're in a sewer,

we should be in muck and water up to our knees.

It's almost dry.

And that's bad? Hell, yeah.

It means there's an obstruction all right,

and it's freakin' huge.

Okay. I'm gonna go get some help.

Hey, easy, cowboy.

First, we find the blockage,

then once we know what we're up against,

we get some help.

You can take off your respirator.

There's no toxic gas or nothing.

[explosion in distance] What was that?

[breathing]

Methane gas pocket.

I thought you said there was no toxic gas down here.

Methane ain't toxic, just flammable.

Terrific.

[water sloshing underfoot]

Reg, I'm tired.

This stuff weighs a ton.

Do I have to wear it?

You can walk around naked for all I care.

[door creaking]

[whistles]

Hey!

It ain't lunchtime yet.

Yeah, yeah.

[goo dripping]

What the hell?

[gasps]

Reg, what is this?

[banging]

Did you find anything?

[banging]

[grunts]

Reg?

[heavy breathing]

Reggie?

[sinister laughter]

[screaming]

[doorknob rattling]

[shrieking in distance]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[thunderclap]

[moaning in distance]

Hello?

[moaning]

Hello?

[moaning]

Oh, no!

[thunderclap]

Hank?

Hank, where are you?

[gasps]

Reggie!

Hank!

[shouting]

Reggie! I'm coming!

[zombies groaning]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[whimpering]

Hank!

No! No!

No, Hank!

[screaming]

[zombies groaning]

Hank, what are you doing?

[screaming]

[zombies groaning]

[screaming]

How did he disappear so fast?

I don't know.

What's this?

It's an old shed from when all they had up here were summer cabins.

Well, it looks like they're still using it.

Been no one up for years.

Really?

Then why is there a brand-new padlock on the door?

[thunder rolling]

Hold on.

Okay.

I didn't know they taught breaking and entering

at Divinity school.

Ha, temptation is everywhere, my dear,

you just have to know when to use it for good.

Right.

Move.

They didn't teach me that.

After you.

It's bigger than it looks.

This place is amazing.

What the hell is all this?

Don't touch it! [scream]

Don't you know a sterile workplace when you see one?

Some people, jeez!

Sorry, Father.

You know who I am?

Father Douglas Middleton, the crusading priest.

Everyone knows you.

Besides, we were at a conference together in Tokyo.

You spoke on renewable energy.

I did soil erosion.

I'm always stuck with soil erosion.

You're Walter Connelly, the biologist.

What do you want, a gold star?

Catch up.

We don't have much time.

You said that already.

How did you get here?

And how long have you been here?

Why don't you tell me about your misadventure in the basement?

You know about that?

Can we just stipulate that I ask and you answer?

The basement-- What happened?

There was a dog.

Half wolf, half dog, and I recognized it.

Before that.

What happened before you saw the dog?

Nothing. I was on my way to the maintenance office.

You didn't touch anything?

Come into contact with anything strange?

Ah, now that you mention it,

something dripped on me from an overhead pipe,

something dark and sticky.

I mean it wasn't oil exactly, or tar, but...

Was this what dripped on you?

It looks like it.

What is that?

Now that's the same stuff

that Mikaela had smeared on her.

And a guy, Eugene Herman.

Then it touched Dutch on the leg.

Dutch? Who's Dutch?

You heard about the construction worker

that died here, right?

That was Dutch.

It was right after that that I moved in,

to answer your question.

I think I drove?

Did I take a bus?

Maybe I jogged.

Was there a ferry involved?

Your wolf, Mikaela's suicide, Eugene's asthma attack,

they're all connected to this.

Ah, stand back.

All right, come on.

Ah, that way.

And whatever you do...

...don't touch.

It's moving.

Of course, it's moving.

It's alive.

What?

Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at

a highly intelligent sentient life form.

An entirely new species.

I was hoping for some kind of an audience.

Applause?

Awkward.

Here, look at this.

[beeping]

Well, that's the sewer system under the conference center.

Exactly. My theory is

that the creature has a hive mind,

like bees or ants,

and that when its extremities were attacked

by the sewer excavation--

Wait a minute. No one attacked it.

Yeah, but it doesn't know that, does it?

It's like if you accidentally step on an ant colony,

then all the ants will all gather and they'll attack.

Look at this thing, it's growing.

It is, indeed.

Feeling attacked, the creature regrouped.

The rate of growth is logarithmic.

What are all these dense areas?

It's building dams, a network of them, all through the system,

all in communication with one another.

That explains your plumbing problem. Yeah.

This is remarkable.

How big is this thing gonna get?

I have no idea.

It might encompass the entire mountain range.

Maybe all of North America.

This could be the largest creature on Earth!

Well, then we'd better find out.

If we're gonna fight this thing,

we have to know what we're up against.

[groans]

This is why I never leave the lab.

Why is it that human beings always default to warfare.

And you, a priest!

This thing is killing people, Connelly.

Well, we can communicate with it,

we can find out what it wants!

I know what it wants.

It wants us dead.

Oh, that's so cliché.

Word to the wise, my darlings.

If you're going to drink in the morning,

make sure it's clear beverages only.

Vodka, gin, hmm.

What else is clear?

Water.

[heavy breathing]

[crash]

[heavy breathing]

Ah! Oh!

Look, don't tell me to call maintenance.

I did call maintenance. There is no one in maintenance.

Oh, oh, yeah? Well, you're fired.

Mr. Symes? What do you want?

The problems that we're having

with the plumbing might be part

of a larger issue that may be dangerous.

Dangerous? Where did you get that from?

Walter Connelly, the biologist.

He's been studying the underground ecosystem.

Connelly! That nutcase?

He's been trying to shut us down since day one.

That man was put on Earth to irritate me.

Listen, if we don't act fast,

these guests are going to start to evacuate themselves.

Get Reggie down in that damn sewer.

I've already told him twice.

And if you can't do that, you're fired!

No, no, you listen to me.

No, I'm afraid you don't understand.

No, I'm afraid--

[squish]

Oh, damn it!

[phone clatters]

Aimee, what's wrong?

What isn't wrong?

Eugene is dead. Mikaela's dead.

Symes keeps calling every five minutes asking,

"Where's Reggie?"

You leave me here alone. It's okay.

I don't know how to make conversation

with Nobel Prize winning physicists.

And now, the toilets are blocked up

and I don't know what to do.

It's okay. I'm here now.

Now tell me, where was Reggie

the last anyone heard from him?

The sewer.

The sewer.

He actually went into the sewer?

Yeah. Him and Hank both.

Symes said that they better find out

what's blocking up the drains or else.

This can't go on any longer.

Call the staff.

We're evacuating the facility.

Evacuating? Yes.

Symes will have kittens.

Screw that tight-ass little bootlick.

Something bad is going on around here.

And whatever it is, it's getting worse.

Now, get everyone out now!

What do you want me to say to them?

Tell them we're closed for repairs.

Tell them the conference is cancelled,

and tell them to follow you because you're leaving, too.

I'm not going anywhere if you're not.

Aimee, I need you gone.

Please, for me.

[gurgling]

[gurgling]

Okay.

Not for nothing, boss,

But Reggie and Hank went down the sewer,

they never came back.

I'm just saying is all.

That's exactly why we're going in.

That's disgusting. Don't touch it!

I don't know what it is,

but it's killing people.

Whatever is happening up there,

it's connected to something down here.

Okay, let's get it before it gets us.

[click]

What was that?

Combustible gases.

The place is probably full of this stuff.

Come on.

Good.

Check that end.

[gun cocks]

[banging, clattering in distance]

You.

It is you.

I knew it was you.

Symes...

what are you doing down here?

Me? You're the one sabotaging my grand opening.

[laughs]

Who did you sell me out to, huh?

Careful, sir.

Oh, here's your buddy.

I never wanted to hire you, you know.

Once a crooked cop, always a crooked cop.

Put down the gun, sir.

But you came cheap.

It's always about the bottom line, right?

Symes, there's something down here

and it got Reggie.

That lazy bastard,

he's just hiding out somewhere.

I'm warning you!

Jack, are you afraid?

What?

Are you afraid, Jack?

[body thuds]

He was-- He was gonna kill you.

It's all right, kid.

You couldn't help it.

Thanks. Come on.

Kid!

[explosion] Kid, come on!

[explosion]

Tony, hurry up!

[footsteps approaching]

[explosion]

[explosion]

Boss!

Tony?

[screams, grunts in distance]

Kid?

[grunts]

[explosion]

[explosion]

[explosion]

Ah, kid.

[footsteps approaching] [explosion]

Stop or I'll shoot!

Relax. It's just a rent-a-cop.

Jackson, it's all right, it's us. Put the gun down!

Put the light down!

Testy. I don't bite... yet, gee.

Are you okay?

Don't worry about me.

I can take care of myself.

But you're down here alone?

No, I came down with Tony.

He's dead. What?

Symes is dead, too.

How the hell did you get down here?

Oh, everything's connected to everything down here.

The padre and I came down a transverse back that way,

she caught up with us.

Scared the living Jes-- Sorry, Father--

Scared the living crap out of me, I tell you what.

Who is this lunatic?

Chief of Police Deadmarsh, Meet Dr. Connelly.

He's been studying the new life form that's taken hold

down here in the sewer. Does he know his new life form's

already killed four people?

Actually, it's five.

I warned the developers that this new drainage system

runs right down her throat.

Her? What? What, it's a female?

I like to think of it that way. Oh, great!

He's got a crush on the thing!

Hey, it's a massive fluid, multi-celled entity,

whose separate parts can move independently,

or reticulate into a single network.

What's not to love?

We think it emits an organic hallucinogen of some kind.

Even a drop of this black slime on your skin,

and a chemical gets in your bloodstream

and creates a violent psychosis.

Think octopus, think skunk, think--

Think rationally!

[explosion]

Eugene died of an asthma attack.

Exactly.

The chemical elicits our deepest fears

and manifest them.

In Eugene's case,

he was afraid of choking up at the podium.

He externalized that fear by choking to death.

And I saw myself being attacked by my worst fear--

a wolf-dog.

But you didn't die.

Doug-- Father Middleton, he got to me in time.

So, Mikaela saw something in her mirror that--

that frightened her badly and-- and what?

Symes was a victim of his own paranoia?

Each of them touched the creature,

or were touched by it.

I know. I can't wait to publish!

Dial it back, doc.

First, let's see if we can get out of here alive.

More importantly, see if we can find a way

to stop this creature from killing again.

I've been down here--

[explosion] ...whoa, dozens of times.

There's a transverse pipe

about a quarter mile along

that leads out to the water tank.

[explosion]

Look out! [screams]

[explosion] Oh, my God.

Thanks.

Yeah.

[explosion]

Oh, crap.

You don't want to see this.

Don't want to see what?

[screams]

[screams]

Reggie.

Reggie.

I am the resurrection and the life, sayeth the Lord.

He that believeth in me though he were dead,

yet shall he live. Amen.

Amen.

What good does that mumbo jumbo do Reggie now?

Maybe nothing. Maybe it's for us.

It's the mumbo jumbo, the old words, they connect us.

Much like the woods carved right here,

connect you to your grandmother.

[rumbling]

Let's get out of here.

Wait! Wait! What?

Do you hear something?

[water sloshing]

Oh, boy.

Oh, my God.

That's bad.

She's building a dam

right in front of our eyes.

She's sealing us in, you idiot.

Come on!

[explosion] Yeah.

[explosion]

This tunnel leads to the silo.

Cut across the bridge and out.

[klaxon blaring]

It's huge.

The developers aren't finished here.

They're gonna turn Cedar Gate into a city.

Now you know why she feels so threatened.

Where's Jackson?

[klaxon continues]

[explosion]

Jackson?

Jackson! Deadmarsh!

Jackson, what are you doing?

You keep going.

I'll try to slow it down.

Kaley.

That's suicide. Don't do this.

Deadmarsh!

Deadmarsh, you don't have anything to prove!

[explosion]

You want to bet?

[rumbling]

Anyway, it's too late for me.

I got nailed hours ago.

Be the preacher. Get the flock out of here.

Jackson, I was wrong about you.

Jackson?

[chuckles] No, you weren't.

Come on, baby. Follow me.

Jackson!

[explosion]

Jackson! We have to go! Come on!

[fire crackling]

She's beautiful.

We have to get across that bridge,

it's the only way out.

[screams]

What are you doing?

Connelly, get off the bridge!

I have to talk to her.

She's beautiful.

You don't know anything about it,

except that it's dangerous.

Connelly, just come back.

She's a sentient creature.

We need to respect her right to exist!

We need to find another way out of here!

She deserves respect!

She deserves respect.

[screams]

[screams] No!

Grab my hand.

Grab my hand!

[rumbling]

Grab my hand.

No!

[zapping]

Come on, you bitch!

[explosion]

Hey! [clicking]

Officer Deadman! [clicking]

What's up? [clicking]

I sure could use a light.

[clicking]

Bailey.

[laughing] [clicking]

You knew I'd come back, didn't you?

Let's just say I'm not real surprised.

[explosion]

You framed me, you bastard.

You planted evidence, and I was innocent.

You didn't kill Tim Jefferson,

doesn't mean you were innocent.

What about Olivia Red Bear?

[explosion]

I wasn't charged with rape, dumb ass.

[explosion]

I was on trial for murder.

[explosion]

And you lied under oath.

That's right, Bailey, I did.

What's the punishment going to be?

What do you think?

We both rot in hell?

After you.

[click] [zapping]

[screaming]

[metal clanking]

[screaming]

Don't let me go! Just hang on to me!

[screaming]

Hang onto me!

Please, don't let me go! I'm not gonna let you go!

[screams]

[creature chittering]

No! Kaley!

[screams]

No!

Kaley! Kaley!

[screaming]

[zapping]

[gasps]

Don't let me go!

[speaking Ojibway]

[speaking Ojibway]

[speaking Ojibway]

[Woman speaking Ojibway]

You got me?

I got you.

[car door closes]

[police siren in distance]

Hey.

Douglas.

You saved me...again.

No, you saved all of us.

What are you talking about?

Kajay Manitou.

[speaking Ojibway]

Heal the Earth and heal each other.

We are life.

We are love.

We do not fear.

That's my grandmother's poem.

It's not a poem.

It's an Ojibway prayer.

You were acknowledging the sanctity

of the Earth creature,

and I think it... forgave us.

I saw you fall.

What?

Remember when you told me that

I'm not afraid of anything?

Yeah.

Well, that's not true.

I've always trusted that God will take care of me...

...but the vision I saw,

that was my fear.

And when your hand--

when it-- when it slipped out of mine...

But you didn't let go.

If you saw me slipping away,

why did you keep holding my hand?

Faith.

You see, faith and fear

can't survive in the same place.

And there was no way I was gonna let you go.

I'm sorry.

Did I-- Did I say something wrong?

No.

It's just been one of those days.

Yeah.

You know, I-- I don't know if I mentioned,

but I'm leaving the country. What?

Now?

In a week, ten days.

I'm heading north to work with an Ojibway Midaywin.

I don't suppose you'd like to come with.

You know you could learn a little bit more

about your grandmother's people,

and conditions won't be very luxurious.

And, you know, the weather will be really challenging.

And, you know, I'm just thinking-- Yes.

You don't have a job here anymore so--

Douglas?

What?

Yes, Douglas.

I'll come with you.

Yes?

Yes.

You know it's gonna be really cold,

and I just thought--

[wheelchair motor whirrs]

What are you doing here?

[Symes] I can't do this.

You'll do what I tell you.

Give it six months and reopen it.

Are you joking?

People are dead.

We can't just reopen Cedar Gates.

Fine, call it Pine Ridge,

or North Country Inn, whatever.

Are you sure that's wise?

Yes, I'm sure.

You worry too much.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Are you afraid?

Afraid?

Afraid of what?

[clicking]

[grumbles] Darn thing.

[thunderclap]

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA