Original subtitles

Previously on "Good Girls"...

You're not supposed to be here.

Yeah, neither are you.

This is the only way we're gonna turn this around.

How does helping him help me?

Saving up to run.

I'd rather have a lawyer.

We've never made you smile like all this just did.

Because I told you, this is what gets us out.

No, that's what gets you off.

This whole time, I thought he was the problem.

He's just the excuse.

Anyone who wears a cardigan

shouldn't be doing what he does.

- What are you, a priest? - Just trying to help.

You got my wife shot.

I got you your money.

Last party, I had to be the damn go-between

for my husband and my best friend.

I want you out of her life.

You get us in that club, and she'll never see me again.

- What's going on with you? - My wife was laundering

a gang's money through my business.

- What happened to her? - Not a damn thing.

- You still coming to the game? - Dude, I wouldn't miss it.

So he's back in?

- What do you want from me? - I caved.

- That Washington? - The Queen.

I hate Canadians.

You said all we had to do was print it.

And then drop it.

I assumed that you meant in our country.

Seven's a winner.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Try it this way.

Okay, ready? Ready? Ready?

Oh, my God!

Why do you keep winning?

I'm trying not to.

I swear. I swear to God.

I'm usually never, ever, ever this lucky.

- All right. - Whoo!

Give me those.

Bets in, ladies.

What do you think?

Hard ten.

How would we train thousands of pigeons?

You only need one.

One pigeon's gonna carry all that cash across the border?

Well, not all at once.

- Thank you, ladies. - Y'all killed it tonight.

Uh, the launch sequence was all messed up.

- What are you talking about? - That was the best part.

And then it felt like no one got

the crawling on the ground part.

Hello?

Obviously an homage to Sandy B at the end of "Gravity."

Ah, love you, guys.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Bye! - Bye.

Hey, what about drones?

Like the ones they use in Guadalajara for heroin?

Well, it's easier than training a pigeon.

Yeah. And way less range.

Plus, you better pray for perfect weather.

They have 'em at Hobby Lobby.

But you know, it can fly in a storm.

Let's go tomorrow.

I'm busy.

Okay, and we can look into your bird too.

- No, no, I... I really am busy. - I... I have plans.

- Doing what? - Jobbie Nooner, baby.

Aren't you a little old for that?

Can you really put an age on the Mardi Gras of the Midwest?

That's tomorrow?

Taking a "me" day, so sue me.

No, no, no, no, no.

You're going to a party on a boat

that is literally on the border of Canada?

Yeah, my buddy Tim just got out of rehab, and we always go.

Where you don't have to go through customs

and there's millions of boats

filled with tons of drunk people

who aren't paying attention to what anyone else is doing?

Okay. Okay.

Yes, I see where you're going with this.

And it could work.

What was your friend in rehab for?

Meth.

But they let him keep the boat license.

- When do we set sail? - You going on a boat?

- Uh, yeah, yeah. - For a girls' trip.

Where?

- Detroit River. - Why?

Girl stuff.

- Pedicures. - Waxing.

It's like a day spa/sunset cruise.

Sounds shady.

I think it's how they dodge

all those health department codes.

Yeah, is this one of those "spa days" that

ends up with a bullet in her other knee?

I'm just looking out for my wife.

A little self-care never hurt anybody.

I would never let anything happen to my maid of honor.

That a promise?

Oh, we have a deal.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I think y'all look great.

Well, tell that to the alpaca sitting on my crotch.

Well, it got him out of here, didn't it?

- Hey. - Hey.

What... what's all this?

I thought we can all eat together.

- Why? - For a change.

Ah. Well, Ben's at his dad's.

Well, then it's dinner a deux.

Okay.

It's a pretty fancy setup for tortillas and soy sauce.

- Not what we're having. - That's all I have.

- Lemon chicken piccata.

What? You made this?

Well, it's not Olive Garden,

but it's the best with what I could find.

Jeez.

What the hell is this? A white carrot?

Parsnip, and...

- Mmm. - A few other root veggies.

- It's so good. - Thanks, man.

- No, thank you, man. - No, no.

Thank you for letting me crash.

No, thank you for picking all this up.

NBD.

I mean, must have been expensive.

Not at all.

I mean, last I checked, food was not free.

Well, maybe you're just not looking in the right place.

- Kevin... - Mm.

I went a little heavy on the rosemary.

Where did you get this food?

- Kroger. - Oh, thank Jesus.

Yeah, they throw out the best stuff.

Like even before it goes bad.

Eww. What is wrong with you?

It's fine.

It's trash food.

- You never would have known. - Mm, except I do.

So if I paid, would it taste better?

I mean, I guess not.

- Then what's the difference? - The amount of E. Coli.

- I washed it. - Where, in the toilet?

I thought you were cooler than this.

Why, because I'm not down with gourmet dumpster diving?

No, because you think money makes everything better.

- Doesn't it? - All right. Yeah, sure.

If you want to live for what you don't have.

- Oh, boy, here we go. - This treadmill you're on...

- Excuse me for wanting more. - Won't get you anywhere.

It's called the American dream, baby.

Okay, well, while you're dreaming,

you're also sleeping through a pretty choice piece of chicken.

At least I won't have hepatitis A, B, or C.

Whatever.

I won't tell you where I got that.

Hey, guys. I thought we were meeting down at the park.

Oh, guys can wait.

You're not going anywhere with that derailer.

Let me see that.

Hey, look.

Sorry, I'm doing everything I can with that night cream.

Oh, I get it.

Guys don't really like stuff on their face before bed.

Right? Gets stuff all over your pillow and...

Not why we're here.

Oh.

The other night at the meeting...

- Yeah, I overshared. - It was beautiful, Dean.

You're going through a lot right now, you know?

You got a lawyer?

Not one that's gonna keep me out of jail?

Well, you do now.

Oh.

Oh, that's so cool.

Never lost a case.

Which is why I definitely can't afford him.

Don't worry about it.

Dean, you're family now.

That bitch has done enough to you.

Hi, boys.

Pulled them out of the freezer

so they got that big ice cube you like.

Thanks.

Do you guys want a refill?

- No, we're fine. - Good.

Don't forget to wear the reflective stuff.

We'll look out for him.

Oh, Danny's hockey game got rescheduled.

I got him a ride with the Simpson kid.

You just need to pick him up.

Sure.

Saddle up, cowboy.

Take a bunch so you can layer.

All right, here.

We're not here to party.

So you'd rather stick out?

I just want to make a run for the border.

Yeah, well, that's why you gotta blend.

Where is your friend?

He's probably just gassing up the boat.

Sure this is the right place?

It's where we park every year.

What if I have to pee on the water?

Well, get it all out now.

Where?

It's also where we pee every year.

Is that your guy?

Oh, here we go.

Mm-mm. Nope.

- What are you doing? - It's an open container.

We have a cooler full of Canadian counterfeit.

Will you please just act chill?

- He's coming. - Okay, music on or off?

- Mike? - Hey, Ruby.

What's going on?

What's in that?

A whole lot of fun.

Yeah, it's her first Jobbie Nooner,

so we went all out.

Open it on up.

You know, if this is about the parking or something,

- we could pull up... - What's in the cooler?

.

You put your boy on me?

You're welcome.

He gave Beth a ticket.

- Yeah. - Lucky that's all she got.

We could have just slipped over.

Not on the weekend,

where they triple border patrol.

We were gonna bury it and go back tomorrow.

This is brilliant.

Drive right through customs and pick it up.

'Cause nobody's ever thought of doing that on Gull Island.

Yeah, smugglers.

Not a bunch of moms.

Was that her angle?

I need it back.

What else you got?

I don't know.

- Hmm.

Come see me when you do.

Who are you, my dad?

No, you know, I'm just worried

that's she's gonna come up with something even dumber.

I'm not some kid you caught with a case of beer.

This isn't just beer, Ruby.

I need to make that drop.

And I need to keep you out of jail.

He's ready for you.

Now you don't look like you're here

for the Sewer Expansion meeting.

I'm not sure I'd have a lot to offer.

Come on.

You know, they're actually really interesting.

- Really? - No.

- Not at all.

So what can I do for you, Elizabeth?

It's really stupid.

Oh, I've heard it all.

And it might be crossing a line.

I'm okay with that.

It's kind of more of a favor.

Is it a parking ticket?

- No. - Okay, 'cause, you know,

people hit me up with that all the time.

- It's a trespassing ticket.

Oh.

Okay.

So what's next? Burning Man?

It's a long story.

Try me. I got time.

It's more of a thing for, you know, your brother cousin.

- Him.

Which I can't explain to a judge, so...

They're waiting for you in the conference room.

You know what? You're busy.

Look, it's just, um,

I don't... I don't like to get involved with his "things."

I never should have asked.

Just puts me in a bad place, you know?

Go to your meeting.

This never happened. I'm an idiot.

- Wait, wait, wait. - No, no, no. No.

Hold on. Hold on.

I'll do it.

You really don't have to.

I really want to.

Come on.

- Thank you. - But

you're gonna have to do something for me.

Yeah, what?

I wanna put you to work.

- Please, no. - Just try it.

I don't wanna release whatever's trapped under there.

Don't you want to add rabies to your hep A, B, and C?

I guess.

I'm scared.

What is this?

I'm no Shakespeare, but I am sorry.

Let me take you out.

Why?

To make up for the other night.

- Where? - Restaurant.

A real one?

You like French?

Oui.

- Ma'am.

This place is, like, legit fancy.

- Oh, I know. - Hey, Kev.

Hey, Ange.

You come here often?

All the time.

You have like a special table or something?

Sort of.

Right this way, madame.

What is this?

This is dinner.

What are you doing? Oh!

- Are you high? - Little bit.

Oh, this three-course meal right here.

- No way. - One bite of each.

No, never.

Not in hell. No.

I'll cook for you for a month.

No, no, I don't want to be eating your trash food.

Your food,

from whatever grocery store you waste your money at.

- No, bye!

Ben too.

Ben is not ever hungry.

Well, he eats at his friend's house

so he doesn't have to at home.

One bite.

Well, I started as a prep chef.

- Mm-hmm. - And became a line cook.

And... and now I just sort of sub in

whenever I need cash.

Wow. Oh, forgot to ask.

What was the... it was like a little brown chewy,

sausage-y, garlicy, butter thing on the... on the toothpick.

- Ah, yes, yes, yes, yeah. - That... that was a escargot.

Ah, escargot to you, monsieur.

- Snails. - What?

Yeah, see, even from the garbage,

they're pretty great, right?

Ew! I never would have eaten those, even inside.

That, my friend, is exactly the point.

It doesn't matter.

Ugh. Mmm!

Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.

- Stop, stop, stop. - What?

- What are you doing? - I don't... I don't know.

You can't... you can't do that.

- Why not? - Just...

Because it's... it's... Because we're roommates.

So?

So it's not... it's just...

It's too easy.

That wasn't in your rules.

- We just... we can't, okay?

- All right. - Um.

- I have to... I have to go. - I'll walk you.

- No, no, no. It's fine. - Just stay and enjoy the...

Well, I'll see you at home.

We get a PO Box.

Or whatever they call it up there.

And just overnight it.

- Customs. - Let 'em open it.

All they'll see is lots and lots of Huggies.

Disguising, of course, the cash.

Why would anybody want to overnight diapers to Canada?

They use those cloth ones up there.

I'm out.

You didn't want us involved in the transport.

- Next. - This is so low risk.

Yeah, until you're surrounded by a bunch of Mounties

asking you why your Pampers are so absorbent.

Huggies.

Hear me out.

There's a mini-submarine called the Dolphin...

I thought we weren't going to pitch this one.

No, you weren't gonna pitch this one.

It's like 20 grand, Annie.

It's a lifelong investment, Ruby.

You wanted one way before we started all this.

Look, it's just so simple, you know, we blend in

with the marine life, we pop up,

we ditch the cash, we...

- This is ridiculous. - Agreed.

Why do we have to answer to you?

- Oh.

How about my bag business, my dancers, my club,

and what, my wife?

He makes some good points.

Are you ever gonna give us our money back?

Well, not with these ideas.

Well, let's just sell some bags then.

That's not gonna be necessary this evening.

Why is that?

'Cause you're gonna need these guys

to help you with your drop.

Hey.

How's it going?

Canadian dudes are the most respectful.

Yeah?

My nipple popped out too early,

and they all looked away.

- So we good? - Oh, yeah.

They're not gonna ask any questions.

That's it.

- You better... - Yeah!

Yeah. Work all of that.

Our girls also dance in Windsor.

- And? - Fully nude, twice the money.

How does that help us?

They're real tight with the border guards.

Ugh, Canadians.

Hey, how's it going?

IDs please.

Have we met?

I don't think so.

Oh, wait, no, you're... you're Krystal's friend, right?

- That's it. - Oh, yeah, Krystal.

You know, Krystal?

What's her real name?

She's actually right behind us.

- How do you guys know her? - We met at the gym.

She teaches the most amazing Zumba class.

- She's so flexible, you know?

Yeah, well... yeah, I wouldn't exactly call us friends.

Totally get it.

Um, where you guys headed today?

We're gonna go see her dance.

#WomenSupportingWomen.

You should stop by.

Tell your wife you got front row tickets

to the Windsor Ballet.

- Well, I wish I could.

I... I got my kid's violin concert, so...

Next time then.

All right, you guys bringing anything in?

- Nope. - Just us.

Great, then just pull over right over there

and pop the trunk.

- But it's empty. - Should be quick then.

Enjoy the show.

All right. Good to go.

It's, like, no biggie at all.

Well, we really appreciate it.

Anything to help a friend.

But we're gonna need our expenses covered.

Thought this was a favor.

- And what expenses?

You know, the cooler's super heavy, so it uses more gas.

- Okay. - Can we just do this already?

Okay. How much?

5%.

Of what?

Um, just, like, whatever's in the cooler.

- That's not our money. - It's not our problem.

Okay, okay.

- 5%.

How are we gonna give them 5% of a cut we don't even have?

How are we gonna drop a cooler that we don't have?

I don't like this SUV.

Why? 'Cause it's silver?

- 'Cause it hasn't moved. - It is a parking lot.

Let's roll, bitches.

How bad is it?

Remember Payne Stewart?

- Wasn't he a golfer? - Try U.S. Open champion.

- Okay. - He's up in his private jet,

right, on top of the world.

Tower loses communication.

So they scramble some F-16s to check it out.

Turns out, the hull was breached.

Everyone inside was sound asleep from no oxygen.

So what'd they do?

Plane's on autopilot, just cruising.

All they gotta do is wake up.

And what happened?

After 3 1/2 hours, it runs out of fuel

and they crash into a cornfield in South Dakota.

Jesus.

But that's not gonna be you.

- I already pled guilty. - I know.

And they wanna move the trial date up.

Yeah.

So how do I not end up in the cornfield?

Her.

It's not an option.

So are you the one printing fake money?

I already know where you're going with this.

- Cooking the books? - Committing wire fraud?

I'm not gonna turn on my wife.

She did it.

- I have kids. - So?

They need their mother.

Oh. Okay.

So what's Plan B?

Who taught them how to ride their bikes?

I mean, I did.

Who taught your son how to do a slapshot?

Worked on that for months.

Who built the treehouse in your backyard?

I bet they'd say all that stuff is pretty important too.

- There's no Plan B, man. - Come on, you guys.

She didn't leave you a parachute.

What am I supposed to do here?

Wake up.

Prepare to turn left.

This left or next left?

Mm, looks like next left.

Oh. Uh, no.

What's "uh, no"?

- It was the other left. - Recalculating.

Where do I go now?

- I don't know. - It's... it's recalculating.

Where is this stupid place?

Here, here, here. Next left.

It's cool. We got it.

We're not there yet.

You must admit, Stanimal did deliver on this one.

- Yeah. - Except for the shakedown part.

That wasn't his plan.

It wasn't our plan either.

Better than taking a jet ski.

Okay, I get that you need to defend him.

I'm not defending him.

But he has not made our life easier.

Aren't we in Canada with the money?

That's defending him.

In 400 feet, take the next left.

I thought you were cool with him?

I am.

'Cause I know he's cool with you.

Recalculating.

Would you please tell me where to go?

- God, that is so weird. - What?

It's just this guy...

Every time we make a move, he does too.

- Oh, God. - What?

- Silver SUV? - Silver-ish.

That's the car from the parking lot.

Okay. You don't know that.

Same plate.

In 100 feet, please make a U-turn.

.

In 100 feet, take the next left.

- What do we do? - Just... just drive.

- Where? - Just go, go.

- Please make the next left. - Just turn that off.

- I'm trying. - Please make a left turn.

God, she's persistent.

What about the drop?

- We can't stop. - Recalculating.

The second we do, we'll be surrounded by Mounties.

- Mounties ride horses. - Not when they're undercover.

We don't know that they're Mounties.

- Okay, border patrol. - As if that's better?

Maybe Krystal sold us out.

Stan wouldn't let that happen.

- Stop defending him. - Let's just dump it.

It's gang-friend's money!

You want to explain that to the Mounties?

Either way, we can't make the drop.

Well, at least, my way, we don't end up

in an Ontario gulag.

- Okay, how do we dump it? - Roll down the windows.

So what, we can make it rain all over their windshield?

- Here. Turn, turn. - Annie!

Jesus!

We can lose them in here.

- Pull in somewhere. - Where are they?

Can you see them?

Just do something!

- Slow down! Slow down! - Stop yelling at me!

Oh, my God!

Come on.

- Do you think they're gone? - Coast is clear.

- Where'd you learn all that? - YouTube.

And they're back.

Grab the money.

- Why? - Come on. Just do it.

No, no, no, just take it out and divide it up.

What are we doing?

Getting rid of it.

Where?

Where's the bathroom at?

- Now, Annie? - To flush the money, Beth.

- There's eyes in the sky. - They see everything.

So how do we dump it?

We don't.

Well, we can't go back outside with it.

They'll be waiting.

We lose it.

- Winner!

Where are we at?

- We're twice what we started. - Jesus!

Why didn't we try craps before crime?

I got to take this.

Hang on, what are we supposed to do here?

Just be a loser.

Hey, I've called you 50 times.

Is everything okay?

- Danny's in the hospital. - What?

Some kid checked him into the board, he had the puck...

- Oh, my God. - He even got the shot off.

What happened?

He got slammed really hard, Beth.

- Is he okay? - I don't know.

The coach thinks it's his wrist, probably broken.

Can you go be with him?

- Coach had to go home.

Nurse says he's sitting there alone.

Can you?

Not unless I want to get arrested.

Hello?

Yeah, it's gonna be a while.

Why?

Because I...

'Cause I'm not very close.

Well, where the hell are you?

I'm... sort of out of the country.

Of course you are.

Next time,

just lie to me.

Wait.

- Can't we just keep it? - I mean...

- We need to sign for it. - So?

You want your name on record here

if they find all our Queens?

Put it all on two.

You sure you don't want to spread it around?

Two.

No more bets.

- Oh, thank God.

Yes! Oh, my God.

Whew.

- Chips fall where they may. - Yeah, right.

To the unluckiest number.

2/2/2002.

Oh, honey.

Let's go home.

Am I supposed to know what that means?

- You were there. - Oh, the dot-com crash?

Her wedding.

Right, yes. I knew that.

I'm gonna go to the grocery store

and make him French toast in the morning.

He didn't even ask for you.

Don't worry. I paid for it.

Smells amazing.

It should for how much it costs.

Is this an Olive Garden special?

Yes, complete with unlimited breadsticks.

Mmm! Mm-hmm.

Uh, so,

um,

last night, uh...

I made things weird, didn't I?

- No, no, no. - Seriously, not at all.

It's... it's fine.

- It'll never happen again. - Cross my heart, hope to...

Please. Let's not go that far.

Sweet.

- Right? - Can I have cheese?

- Absolutely, Benjamin. - Mmm, so good.

- There you are, sir. - Thank you.

- Where's yours? - Oh, I'm eating out tonight.

Why?

That's for me.

- Hello. - Hey.

Hey. You look great.

- Thanks. - I love you in that shirt.

I don't think you've ever seen me in another one.

You remember Angela.

- Hi. Yes, of course. - Hey.

Just having some dinner with my son.

You guys should go have some fun.

Not too much fun.

But, you know, just kidding. I'm kidding.

- Better hurry up. - It's trash night.

Bon appétit.

You should put cheese on it.

You're looping it the wrong way.

- I got these sausage fingers. - Look.

Okay, but you're just making a knot now. That's not...

- Friendship knot. - That's not a thing.

- That's totally a thing. - It's better.

You can't undo it.

- Uh-huh. Okay. - It's tight.

- Make me one? - Yeah, sure.

In your room.

All right.

How'd it go?

Why are you helping us?

What do you mean?

Why'd you let us print at the club?

You needed a space.

Why'd you make Krystal do the drop?

Didn't want you to drown on a jet ski.

Remember our wedding?

Um, well, not much.

Before my mom made you do shots.

- What, like, the ceremony?

The part where we promised to treat

each other's family like our own.

Yeah, why do you think I did the shots?

I'm not talking about my mom.

What'd you say to her, Stanley?

Oh.

We made a deal.

Well, we kinda made a deal.

I told her that I'd give you guys the place...

Lady Luck ain't on your side tonight, huh?

There was a problem.

- Always is. - And I had to get rid of it.

Never a solution.

Well, I didn't have a lot of options.

Oh, yeah?

Or did the dice just not roll your way?

- We were being followed. - Yeah, by my people.

Well, that would have been really nice to know.

They don't like to make a scene.

But I don't mind so much.

Well, someone else will.

Hmm.

You got a guardian angel I don't know about?

Maybe.

- Everyone, meet Beth.

- Let's... yes. - Hi.

- Hi, Beth.

She's gonna be running things around here.

- No, I'm helping. - Just so we don't kill

whatever we plant.

Yeah. They're all yours.

Okay. Well, I'm the new kid.

So maybe you guys can help me out a little bit.

Show me what you've already started.

Are you okay, man?

I'm fine.

You don't look so good.

I just woke up.

About time.