Original subtitles

(WATER BUBBLING)

-(SONG BEGINS) -One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can’t tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

(SONG ENDS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOGS BARKING)

(TV STATIC)

(MILO GRUNTING)

-Milo, I'm not even going to ask. -I'm just getting ready, bro.

I need to be in prime sitting condition for tonight's movie marathon.

Well, everything's ready!

We're just waiting on Jumbo to bring the movies!

-(DOORBELL RINGS) -And there he is now.

Hey, Jumbo, good buddy! Come on in!

Oscar, before I enter, might I ask one quick question?

-Of course. -Um...

Is it okay if I date your ex-girlfriend, Angela?

-(FARTS) -Angela?

I thought tonight was going to be the most special night of my life.

And all I wanted was that one dance with you, Bea.

(GASPS) Oh!

I... I didn't mean to say that!

Whoa. Bea?

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!

Angela, wait!

Uh...

-I guess. -Great! 'Cause she's here right now!

(SCREAMS)

Hey, everybody! It's great to be back!

Esmargot and Albert! I see you two are still sticking together.

(SNIFFLES) Sorry.

And then there's you, uh, farm guy?

(CHORTLES) 3-D!

And Milo!

Hey, girl! Oscar said you were dead! But I guess he was wrong.

And...

-that is all. Hmph. -(FARTS)

Huh? So, uh, Jumbo, did you bring the movies?

Well, I thought this time I'd let my lady decide!

Oh! What'd you bring?

Hex on my Ex. Diary of a Mad Ex-Girlfriend.

Ooh! Die, Oscar, Die!

I wonder if this has anything to do with me?

Die, Oscar, Die! I'd love to see that.

(OSCAR GULPS)

Sorry, baby, but I'm dumping you.

-(GASPS) -(LAUGHS)

Wow. This movie really speaks to me.

What kind of a monster breaks up with a girl at the prom?

-Right, Oscar? -Uh...

I'm sure he had his reasons!

La, la, la

-Holy mackerel! -Die, Oscar, die!

(GRUNTS)

For some reason the loofah sponge is causing me to be severely injured!

Yeah! Get him! Get Oscar!

-Loofah, loofah, loofah! -Hmm.

Looks like I dumped you, Oscar...

into your grave!

-(LAUGHS MANIACALLY) -(THUNDER CRASHES)

That Oscar character really got what he deserved.

Well, it was great to see you all again!

(RECORD SCRATCH)

Gotta go!

-Well, that was awkward. -Yeah, that girl hates your guts.

-Oh, you think so? -Dude, Angela is a woman scorned!

She has unresolved fish-ues.

(SIGHS) I know things didn't end well with me and Angela,

but I don't want her to hate me! I need to talk to her.

I gotta clear the air so things aren't weird when we all hang out.

Oh, oh! Tomorrow's Nerd Poetry Night at the Hokey Poke.

-Jumbo's always performing there. -That's perfect.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Angela.

Angel of... my world...

of Fishquest!

(SINGS) You're my elf queen On my 'puter screen

My love for you exceeds level 60!

Um, level 60 is the highest level possible in this fantastic computer universe.

-Before the expansion pack. -(SIGHS)

And if anyone shady Lays a hand on my lady

I shall smite them, most verily!

(COMPUTER MICE CLICKING)

Oh, Jumbo! That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

-Okay, I'm gonna go talk to her. -Wait, wait! What are you gonna say?

Well, I thought if I just explained to her why we broke up,

she'll understand and forgive me.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure nothing could go wrong with that.

-I mean, yeah, what could go wrong? -Nothing. Nothing could go wrong.

Nothing could go wrong.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Um...

Hey!

I didn't know you were performing tonight.

No! I... I'm actually here because there's something I need to say!

Don't we all have something we need to say, mon ami?

-Yeah, but... -On the stage!

(GRUNTS, MOANS)

Oh, man.

(INTERNALLY) Well, I guess I could just tell her from up here.

This poem goes out to a very special girl named Angela.

-Huh? -Hey! Your name is Angela too!

It's a poem called "Closure." Yeah, that's it! (CLEARS THROAT)

Roses are red, violets are blue, these are the reasons I broke up with you.

What?

One. You played video games all the time. Like, all the time.

Two. I had severe allergies, and you're, like, always covered in dog hair.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Three. I could never understand you on the phone

'cause sometimes you sound like a goat.

Maybe it's something you could work on?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hmph!

Wait, come back! Not cool, Oscar! Angela! (GRUNTS)

Oh no! Did... Did my poem make things worse?

Oh, it's you.

Jumbo! I've been looking all over for you guys!

Oscar, I'm not allowed to talk to you anymore.

Hey! Angela! I just need you to understand why you weren't right for me!

Get out of here!

(SIGHS)

Now, they both hate me.

Milo, everything I say just makes things worse.

Well, did you ever just tell her you're sorry?

No. (GASPS) Oh...

Yeah.

Well, how do I do that now? No one will talk to me.

Oh, brother dear. I have a plan.

(SMOOCHES)

(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)

Captain's blog, star time four-five-six.

My alien cutie and I are about to engage in the Earth custom of "picnic."

Captain, sensors indicate good times ahead.

(BOTH SIGH)

-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) -(IMITATING PLANE)

(IMITATING GUNS)

I'm a pilot!

(GRUNTS) So, what's the plan again?

All you have to do is jump out of this plane,

gently parachute down to Jumbo and Angela,

and get their attention while I skywrite your apology in the sky!

(GULPS)

Well, here goes nothing.

On the count of three!

Three... (SCREAMS)

I was counting backwards!

(CHOMPING)

This day couldn't be any more perfect.

(OSCAR SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

-Oscar? -What are you doing here?

Uh, Angela. Please. I just need to tell you something.

Well, you can talk to my butt

'cause that's the only one that gives a hoot.

No, no, no, no, no! Just look.

And that's that!

Wait a minute. I completely forgot! I don't know how to fly a plane!

(MILO SCREAMS)

Uh... I can't quite see what it says.

(MILO SCREAMING)

MILO: I'm okay.

-(ALL GASP) -(STUTTERS)

Oh. I get it, Oscar.

The "thing" you wanted to tell me.

You're still in love with me.

Uh... Wha... Wait, what?

(SOBS)

Oscar, you said it was cool if I dated Angela!

-I can explain! -(CONTINUES SOBBING)

You said it was cool!

I! Can! Explain!

Oh, no. It's happening. No, not again!

Wh... What's happening?

(SCREAMING) Nerd. Rage. Rising!

Oh no! His nerd rage is transforming him!

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

He... He's a beast!

(ROARS)

Jumbo smash puny nerd-fish!

I think he's talking about you! Get out of here!

Oscar pay!

Oh... J... Jumbo, you think maybe we could talk this out?

-(JUMBO GRUNTS) -(MILO SCREAMS)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Okay.

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS) Oh, thank goodness!

-(SCREAMS) -Huh?

(PANTING)

Hmm...

Gotcha!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Jumbo, listen! I have no interest in Angela!

-(CHOKES) -(GROWLS)

I just wanted to... (GRUNTS)

tell her that... (GRUNTS)

I'm sorry for... (GRUNTS)

how things ended.

-(GROWLS) -Jumbo, stop!

Is it true, Oscar? All this was just to tell me you're sorry?

Uh-huh.

And I'm happy for you and Jumbo.

Oh. Well, you know, that's all I've ever wanted from you.

Just an apology.

(STRAINS)

Oscar, I forgive you.

-And so does Jumbo. -Group hug!

(GRUNTS, SCREAMS)

(HEART MONITOR BEEPING)

(CONTINUOUS BEEP)

-Milo, don't unplug that. -Sorry, guys.

Just looking for a spare plug for the surround sound.

(BEEPING RESUMES)

-Who's ready for movie night? -Hooray!

Oscar, I just want to say thank you.

In a weird way, you showed me how

Jumbo is willing to do anything to protect me and make me happy.

He's my dream guy.

(GRUNTS) Jumbo love!

Now, all we have to do is help you land your dream girl.

Huh?

Oh, Oscar! You poor baby! I just heard the news.

But don't worry, I'll be right by your side

to help you feel all better.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Oh...

(CONTINUOUS BEEP)

Hey, can I connect the popcorn machine over here?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHING, GRUNTS)

(NEIGHS)

That's right, folks! It's that time of year

where everyone wears fancy hats!

-Why are we wearin' fancy hats? -Because it's seahorse racing time!

Welcome to Freshwater Downs,

where the finest seahorse athletes come to race!

-What are we racing for? -For glory! For honor!

But really, it's all about the hats!

Wow, Milo, this year's hat is even better than last year's.

Why, thank you! I call it Holla-for-a-Dolla.

And it only took Oscar ten hours to glue it together.

The glue was really hot!

You know what's really hot? My hot hat.

Bea, what do you think of my hot hat?

-Girl, that's a hot hat! -We're like the hot hat brigade!

Maybe.

What? Is something wrong with my hat? What?

Yes! Everyone is here to have a wonderful time!

-Oh, gosh, I'm so miserable. -Why?

Today's the day you get to meet my parents!

That's why I'm terrified!

Hi, Mom, hi, Dad! I want you to meet my fiancé.

His name is Mr. Baldwin!

-We don't like him! -We don't like him!

What? But... But why?

-We don't like him! -We don't like him!

Just ignore them. They don't know what they're saying.

Look, I... I think if you just give me a chance,

you'll see that I have many admirable, average qualities.

I'm like a vanilla ice cream cone. No one hates vanilla.

They might not seek it out if they have a lot of other options,

but, you know, your... your daughter sought me out, and...

we really care about each other.

-We don't like him! -We don't like him!

Oh... Lulu, I'm gonna go get a hot dog. You want anything?

-No, thanks. -Okay. I'll be back.

Yes! Yes! Yeah! Yes! Yes! Yeah! Yes! Yes!

Oh. My. Gosh!

Girls, I don't usually go for seahorses, but that one is hot!

(GRUNTING)

Oh, my gosh! You're right! He is hot!

(GRUNTING)

Yeah, he's ama... That's Finberley!

(FINBERLEY GRUNTING)

-What is she doing? -Making my day.

(FINBERLEY GRUNTS)

Finberley, are you okay?

I was gonna try to get that guy's phone number for Shellsea.

-Ew. What? Why? -'Cause you said he was hot!

I don't need your help to get a guy's phone number!

Oh. Well, I was just trying to be nice.

What?

I guess I can't do anything right!

Boy, she's having a rough day.

(GASPS) We should do something nice for her.

We should get her a hot hat.

-Huh-ho. -SHELLSEA: Hey.

I need a hot hat for my friend Finberley.

She has low self-esteem.

-(SPEAKS GIBBERISH) -No, I need a hot hat.

-(SPEAKS GIBBERISH) -No. Hotter.

(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

That's like something she would pick out. I need something hot.

-(YELPS) -No. Hotter. No. Hotter. Hotter!

Ew. No. Hotter. Hotter. Hotter! No.

Hotter. Hotter. Hotter! Hot! Hot!

-Now, that is hot. -But we still don't have a hat.

Oh, brother dear, do you know what the best part of a day at the races is?

Buying hot dogs! (CHUCKLES)

And you know what the worst part is? The line!

MILO: Hey! That's Mr. Baldwin!

Wazzup!

Oh, it's you.

-So, got anything you wanna talk about? -(GROANS)

Today was my big chance to impress my future in-laws,

but nothing about me is cool to them!

That's a lie! Everything about you is cool!

-Nah. -We just gotta find a way

to get you to look cool in front of her mom and dad!

Well, how are we gonna do that?

-(SIREN WAILING) -Sea horse down! Sea horse down!

-(SEAHORSE NEIGHS) -(HORN HONKING)

Attention, attention! We need a new seahorse racer.

Uh, if you're looking for a way to look cool

in front of somebody, uh, here's your chance!

Right here. Uh, we're not picky.

Uh, you could be old, fat, bald. Uh, we'll take it.

We're pretty desperate.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

-(HORNS PLAYING) -Oh, no. No, no, no, no!

I can't believe you two talked me into signing up to race!

Just think about how impressed her parents are gonna be.

Oh, yes, racing is very impressive.

One time I raced, and my girlfriend Sarah was like, "Oh, Fish Vartan!"

Ya, that's right.

My name is Fish Vartan.

All right, let's see the entry form.

Uh... All right. Yeah, everything seems to be in order.

Thank you, my friend. Okay, just a couple of things now.

First, we have to do the blood tests, and then the physical,

and then it's off to the races!

-(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) -(LAUGHS)

-(LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

What kind of nightmare is this?

-Ya! -(SEAHORSES GRUNTING)

Meanwhile...

Why is Finberley putting us through this?

There is no hot hat in this entire stadium.

No, Shellsea, keep your head in the game.

The answer's gotta be right in front of us.

-Ugh! I don't know, I... -CHILD: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

Look at my hat! Look at my hat!

Bea, it literally just walked right by us.

-Hey, kid, how much for your hat? -Fifty dollars.

How about I give you nothing and I just take it?

-My hat! -You're gonna be a hero.

So suck it up! It's for charity!

-Daddy, my hat! She took my hat! -Well, she said it's for charity.

Eat your ice cream. I get enough grief from your mother.

(HORNS PLAYING)

(SOBS)

Look at you. You can't do anything right.

Everyone laughs at you.

No one loves you.

You got the wrong hat.

Oh. Oh!

Shellsea, Bea! You guys... You guys got me a hat!

Yeah, we were really worried about you. You seemed to be spiraling.

Yeah, and we just want to make sure you feel better.

You guys are the best!

-What kind of hat is this? -A hot hat.

I think I look just like Brandon Bubbler.

-Hey! Brandon Bubbler! There you are! -We could tell it was you from the hat.

You are needed on stage to sing the Fish National Anthem.

-But, I'm not Brandon... -Girl, just go with it.

You got a hot hat now. You can do anything. Anything!

Yep. We're here for you, Finberley.

You know what? You're right. Now that I have a hot hat,

I know that you guys believe in me! I can do it! I can do anything!

Yo-yo-yo, I'm Brandon Bubbler.

I'm gonna go sing The Fish National Anthem, yo!

Rock on, Momma!

All right, racing fans, I don't know about you,

but I'm ready for this final race to be over!

I second the motion!

And I want to order a pizza when we get home!

-But the doctor said... -You're not the boss of me!

You can't control me, even though you try every day!

(ALL GRUNTING, NEIGHING)

Where's my fiancé? I haven't seen him in ages.

Wave to the people, Baldwin.

(GRUNTS NERVOUSLY)

Oh! There he is!

-We don't like him! -We don't like him!

Oh...

(ALL GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS) This is gonna be painful.

(FINBERLEY GRUNTS)

-Yay! Woo-hoo! -Yeah!

-Brandon Bubbler, you're the best! -GIRL FISH: You're the greatest!

-You can do it, Finberley! -Hot hat. Remember! Hot hat!

Oh, my! Brandon Bubbler looks terrified!

I hope he does not screw up,

because my pizza is gonna be delivered in 20 minutes.

-You went ahead and ordered it? -Yes.

(TEETH CHATTERING)

Mr. Bubbler, you must sing.

Hot hat. Remember! Hot hat!

All right. I'll do it!

-(SONG BEGINS) -(SINGING) Oh, yeah!

-What-the-wha? -(GRUNTS)

Oh, fish of the sea...

-Okay, you done now. We start race. -I can't stop now, it's my moment.

It's my moment!

Oh, so proudly we swim

-In the waters of the deep... -Okay, Baldwin,

this is your moment. Time to show the world how cool you are!

Yeah! I can do it! For the love of Lips!

(GUN SHOT)

(GROANS) I'm already cramping.

(FINBERLEY SINGING) And with bellies so white

Out the fish tanks we dove

And so gallantly flailed

Oh, gosh, I'm gonna throw up! I can't do this. They're all half my age!

Sure you can! Just go faster!

-Who knew I could do that! -That man is always full of surprises!

-I can't believe it! We're... We're ahead! -That's right! It's teamwork, baby!

-Woo-hoo! -Woo-hoo!

(BANGS)

Oh, no! It looks like he had a tail blow out!

Oh, my baby!

Gotta... finish... the race!

And the floor was sopping And the fish were flopping

Oh, gasping for breath

As our gills cried for air

We did it!

No, I failed! I placed last.

But you're first in my heart. Why did you enter the race, you silly?

Because I hoped it'd get your parents to finally like me.

Oh, you didn't have to do that. They like ya fine!

They only say "I don't like him" 'cause that's the only phrase they know.

They don't speak English.

(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

It's like I told you earlier, they don't know what they're saying.

Come here, ya big lug.

Oh, guess what they said? They like you.

-They think you're pretty cool. -I love you, Lulu Lips!

...and sing

(SONG ENDS)

Finberley, you were amazing! You hung in there and you did it!

Yeah, we're all proud of you. You did it, Finberley. You did it!

Thanks for believing in me, guys.

Hey, we found out you're not Brandon Bubbler!

-You're going to jail! -(SCREAMS)

-Come back here! -Run, Finberley, run!

Yeah! Don't let them try to take your hat!

They're gonna try and do that while you're in the big house.

Keep running for that dream, Finberley! Run for it! You go, girl!

This line is ridiculous!

I'm never gonna get a hot dog.

(WATER DRIPPING)

(SLURPING, SIGHING)

Does this water taste funny to you?

-Like "funny, ha-ha"? -No, like funny-tasting.

(SLURPS, GULPS)

It's too warm. And it tastes kind of...

fishy.

I think this was a bad idea, bro.

You kidding? This little hot tub is swag!