Original subtitles

(ALARM CLOCK BUZZING)

One, two, three, four Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12 Got a secret I can't tell

Move your feet, shake your rump School's out, ring the bell!

La, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12 Got a secret I can’t tell

Move your feet, shake your rump School's out, ring the bell!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

All right, class, I know it's Friday and we're all excited for the weekend.

So excited! Unfortunately, I'm required by law

to fill your empty heads until the end of the day.

So, I need everyone's attention, people.

-Jocktoman! Veronica! Eyes up front! -Uh... Excuse me, we were having a moment!

(GROWLS) Jocktoman hate school!

MR. BALDWIN: Bo Gregory, we've talked about the ducks on the desk.

Don't worry, Louis Duck. The people just ain't ready for you yet.

-(QUACKS) -MR. BALDWIN: Uh... Steve Jackson.

-(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) -(CHEERING)

Whoa! I'm getting a serious glare up here.

-Thank you. -No problem.

MR. BALDWIN: Poi, are you paying attention? I can't ever tell.

-(GRUNTS) -MR. BALDWIN: All right.

Margot, you got a little, uh, something-something there.

No worries. I got it. (SNIFFS)

MR. BALDWIN: Lovely. Albert! Jimbo! No board games during class!

-This isn't a game, Mr. Baldwin! -It's real life!

Whatever. Kimberley? Are you okay there?

(SHUDDERS) Somebody hit me with their car in the parking lot.

MR. BALDWIN: Do you need medical attention?

I'll be fine. (WHIMPERS)

-MR. BALDWIN: Okay. Chelsea, no texting. -Meh.

-MR. BALDWIN: Bea, no texting. -I wasn't texting, Mr. Baldwin.

-I was taking a picture of myself. Yay! -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

(GAME BEEPS)

Oscar? Oscar! For the love of... Would you please wake Milo up?

-He fell asleep again. -(MILO SNORES)

-Milo, wake up! -(SNORES)

Hey, Milo, it's free apple day!

Uh... What did I miss? Is it lunch time? I'm hungry!

Milo! If you're going to sleep in class,

could you at least try not to snore so loudly?

And why, why, why, why are you looking at me that way?

I just had a really weird dream and you were in it.

I don't really need to know what goes on in that head of yours.

-We were all fish! -What?

-(GROANS) -We were fish!

And we lived in tanks at a pet store and we all went to high school together!

-That sounds really weird, dude. -Why were we fish?

I don't know, but you were a fish, and you were a fish.

-Ew. -MILO: And you were an octopus!

And you were a jumbo shrimp! And you, you, and you...

you, well, you weren't that different.

-I'm a teenage girl. -Enough. Milo, this is not show and tell.

Oh, my gosh! Mr. Baldwin, you were the best.

Check this! You were a seahorse!

-(CHUCKLES) -Aw, that's adorable!

And the best part was... (CHUCKLES) ...he was...

-get this... pregnant! -(ALL LAUGHING)

It's funny because, technically, male seahorses... (CHUCKLES)

...they can get pregnant.

-(LAUGHING CONTINUES) -Okay, this is the part

where the bell rings.

(BELL RINGS)

I'm gonna go put a note on that guy's car!

-ALBERT: (LAUGHS) -It wasn't nice what he did.

BO: Louis! Come back!

Milo, did you forget?

It's your turn to take care of the class fish tank.

-We have a fish tank? -Yes, Milo. It's in the back. Remember?

-MILO: Oh. Yeah? -Yes.

And it's your job to take care of them this weekend, all right?

-No dead fish on Monday! -No dead fish?

No... dead... fish.

-No dead fish? -No dead fish!

-No dead fish! (LAUGHS) -No dead fish! (LAUGHS)

-(MR. BALDWIN CLEARS THROAT) -No dead fish.

Nope. No, no, no, no.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I'm confused. Do you need to be skinny to wear skinny jeans?

-Not, like, too skinny. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-Just, like, skinny-skinny. -(MILO LAUGHS)

-What's so funny? -I'm just imagining everyone as fish.

-Because of your dream? -It was so real, you guys!

So, now I'm like, "Is this the real world?

"Or is the fish world the real world?" I don't know, you know?

-(GASPS) Totally! -What?

Oh, my gosh, there was some seriously weird stuff in this dream.

-Like what? -Well... (GIGGLES)

In the fish world, Fish Oscar had a mega crush on Fish Bea!

-(GASPS) What? Really? -Oh, yeah!

And the whole time, you were completely clueless.

But it was super obvious, and everyone was all like,

"Come on! Something happen already!"

(LAUGHS) Fish me sounds pretty dumb. Right, Oscar?

-(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) -(MARGOT SLURPS)

All right, girls, big weekend coming up. What's our plan?

-Girls' night? -Let's think bigger.

-(GRUNTS) -BEA: We did that last weekend.

-Oscar-spying! -BEA: Creepy!

-Girl's night? -BEA: Uh... Margot already said that.

Come on, girls! We can think bigger than this!

Oh, my gosh. Big news, girls! This is huge.

It's bigger than big! It's, like, Poi big! No offense, Poi.

-(GRUNTS) -(GASPS) What is it?

So, you know that thing I've always wanted?

-Is it an ice cream machine? -What? No!

-Darn it, Kimberley. Now I want ice cream! -I got it!

Run, Kimberley, run!

(GASPS) All right, what were you saying, Chelsea?

What? Uh... Yeah. Check this out, girls. Mama got her pool.

So, does this mean we're having a pool party?

Oh, you know it, girl. Pool party of the century.

-Everyone's invited! -Oh, oh, oh, can I come?

Did you bring my ice cream?

-'Kay, you can come. -Yes!

What's this I hear about an awesome party? I am so ready to get my swag on!

Luckily, I brought my pre-party sombrero!

Do we need music? I... I can make a playlist.

Oh, that would be great, Oscar!

It's a pool party, so try and keep it beach-themed.

(BOTH GASP) A pool party?

-Yeah! Chelsea got a pool. -(STUTTERS) Pool party?

You mean with a pool, and swimming, and... that kind of pool party?

And swimsuits? We'll all be wearing swimsuits?

Oh, baby, come and find me when you get there.

-I'll be waiting for you in the deep end. -Does it have to be a pool party?

I mean, couldn't it just be, like, you know, just a party-party? (GIGGLES)

(SLURPS)

No.

Come on, you guys. It's gonna be a blast!

We need your party spirit, and you already promised you'd make a playlist.

-BOTH: But... -No buts!

-You're coming, and that is final. -(BOTH GULP)

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(GIRL LAUGHS)

-OSCAR: (SIGHS) This is no fun, man. -What?

You don't like swimsuit shopping with the ladies?

No, no, it's not that.

Although, I wish the clerk would stop glaring at us.

-(CLERK GROANS) -I just don't think this whole pool party

-is really my thing. -(LAUGHS) Yeah, tell me about it.

Wait. The self-proclaimed Prince of Parties doesn't want to party?

-You love partying! -Well, maybe I'm the Milo formerly known

-as the "Prince of Parties." -Come on, what's the matter?

-What's the matter with your face? -What, what? Do I have something on it?

You got, uh, yeah, you got a little something right there.

-Here, let me... me get that for you. -Stop it! You're changing the subject!

Why aren't you excited about the party?

-Why aren't you? -I asked you first!

-You brought it up! -(CLERK CLEARS THROAT)

-Can I help you boys with anything? -No, thank you!

Yeah, we're just waiting for our friends to try stuff on.

(GROANS)

Okay. On the count of three, we're both gonna say what's bothering us.

-Okay. -One.

-Two. -Three!

-I can't take my shirt off! -MILO: I don't know how to swim!

BOTH: What? Stop talking at the same time as me!

BOTH: Jinx! Darn!

Okay, okay, I'll go first.

(SIGHS) I'm embarrassed to take my shirt off in front of Bea.

-And other people in general. -What? That's what's bothering you?

Why do you think I'm so sweaty all the time?

It's 'cause I'm wearing, like, six shirts!

Ha! You so crazy, man. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

(POP MUSIC PLAYS)

-Thanks. Now, what's your thing? -Me? No! No, no.

-It's, uh, too embarrassing. -Come on.

-It can't be as weird as my thing. -(MUMBLES) I never learned how to swim.

-What? -I never learned how to swim!

You see? It's embarrassing.

That's it? Dude, that's not nearly as weird as my thing.

-What's not as weird? -Nothing! N... Nothing's weird

about anyone!

So, did you pick out a swimsuit?

Well, I couldn't decide between the two, so...

I got them both!

Crazy!

But should I wear the vertical stripes or the horizontal?

What do you think, Oscar?

Milo doesn't know how to swim and he's embarrassed to tell anyone!

-What? -What the heck, bro?

-Sorry! -Is that why you don't wanna

go to the party? It's nothing to be embarrassed about!

-(CHUCKLES) It's okay. -No, it is not okay.

How am I supposed to be the life of a pool party if I can't even swim?

Ooh! You could get one of those arm floaty things.

Or... (GASPS)

...I could teach you, Milo. I am a great swimming instructor.

-You'd do that? -Of course, I will!

-It should be easy! -Hot dog! Let's go.

How about we meet at the rec center tomorrow before the party?

-Oscar, you'll be coming too. -Uh... Oh... Me? I... I can't.

You see, um, I... I have to be sick! (COUGHS)

Come on! Best friend needs our help here!

How can you say no to this face?

All right! But not because of the face. T... That was weird.

Oh, man! You guys are the best!

Not to worry. No way we'll let you tank this.

Tank this? (GASPS) Oh, no!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

(MILO PANTS)

(GRUNTS) Oh, fishies! Are you guys okay in there?

(GRUNTS, GROANS)

Ow!

Okay, so the lights don't work. No reason to be scared, Milo.

-(THUNDER CRACKS) -(SCREAMS, GASPS)

Ms. Bonesy! Oh, you gave me such a fright!

Man, why does school have to be so creepy at night?

Now, where is that fish tank?

Ah-ha! No dead fish, no dead fish, no dead fish.

No dead fish! (LAUGHS)

"Congratulations, Mr. Milo, there are zero dead fish."

"Oh, it was nothing really." Huh?

What the...

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)

No wrestling! Keep off the lane lines, please!

Oh, Mr. Muscles, isn't it a most beautiful day?

The sun is shining and the iron is pumping!

Yes, so relax... Get off the lane lines!

-Oh, man. Today I lifted so much weights. -(CHUCKLES) Dude, that's awesome.

-BEA: Hey, Oscar! -BOY: (CHUCKLES) Cannonball!

What? Should I have gone with vertical stripes?

(FARTS)

Hey, where's Milo? I thought he'd be with you.

Actually, I haven't seen him. I'm not even sure he came home last night.

Well, I hope he didn't get scared and chicken out.

(PHONE RINGING)

(WHIMPERS)

-(MILO MUMBLES) -Milo?

(SCREAMS) You guys! Oh, thank goodness you found me.

-You gotta help me! Help me, please! -What are you doing in the bushes?

Have you been here all night?

-Help me, guys. I gotta wake up! -Wake up?

It's all a dream, guys! Nothing is real. (WHISPERS) Nothing is real.

Calm down, Milo. Tell us what happened.

Well, I was in Mr. Baldwin's classroom...

What? What's going on?

That's Bea and Oscar and me! That's really me!

But if that's me in there, then who's the me out here?

Ms. Bonesy, help me, please! You gotta tell me what's going on!

-You're dreaming! -(SCREAMS)

(BREATHES HEAVILY) What? What? What are these weird, wiggly things?

(GASPS) They're down here too! I'm a monster!

Milo, if you don't wanna learn how to swim, that's fine,

but you don't need to tell these ridiculous stories!

But I'm not making it up! Besides, I already know how to swim!

-Really? -Yeah!

In the real world, I'm Milo the Fish, not Milo the weird monster thingy!

-Milo. -Just you guys watch!

You prepare to be amazed by my swimming swag!

Milo, wait! That's the deep end!

MILO: All righty, Milo. All you gotta do is shake your tail and swim up there.

Huh? Why is it not working? Oh, no. I don't have a tail?

But how am I supposed to swim with these things?

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh, help! Somebody help me!

(GASPS) He's not coming up! Hang on, Milo!

Somebody, help me...

-Milo! -Bea?

Milo!

Milo! Milo!

-Milo! Wake up, sleepy! -OSCAR: Let him sleep, Bea.

He is gonna be so bummed when he finds out he slept through our big party.

Yeah. He was so excited I... I guess he couldn't sleep last night.

Well, this party ain't gonna dance itself. Come on!

(POP MUSIC PLAYS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Milo. Milo! Hey, Milo!

Milo, my boy! Can you hear me?

Don't worry, we'll save you!

We are trained professionals!

-Come on! Milo, stay with me. -(MILO SQUEAKS)

Quickly, Muscles!

-Clear! -No, wait! You guys!

Hold on just... (SCREAMS) Okay, okay, just... just one more.

(SOBS) Oh, come on, Milo! Give me a sign!

(GASPS) Oh, no! I can't hear anything!

He's dead! (WAILS)

-I'm not dead. -He's not dead!

Oh, man, why'd you guys save me? I was almost awake!

Well, I'm sorry.

If saving your best friend from drowning isn't friendship,

-I don't know what is! -No, Bea, you don't understand!

This is all a dream! I've seen the real world.

It's a party utopia, filled with laughter and good times!

-And... And we're all fish, right? -What's going on?

Milo's living in a dream world.

-(CHUCKLES) Well, aren't we all? -Exactly!

Except this world is the dream world and I need you guys' help to wake me up.

Milo, this isn't funny anymore!

-You're acting crazy! -Am I, Bea?

(MONSTROUS VOICE) Am I?

Okay, Milo, I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions to see if you're crazy.

Could you please tell me what you see on these cards?

-A boat. -Okay.

And this one? -A duck.

-Oh, how about this one? -Oh, that's me!

-I'm a fish and I live in a fish tank. -Oh, my! Is that what this is?

I can never get any of these right. (SCOFFS)

Ms. Lips, you don't think I'm crazy, right?

Well, I have no idea! I mean, sometimes I think I'm crazy.

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

Oh, but seriously, we all have strange dreams, Milo.

You know, when I was your age,

I dreamed I was a great big pink bunny rabbit!

-Really? -No!

I just said that to make you feel better!

Now, did your mother ever tell you you weren't pretty enough?

-No. -(CHUCKLES)

Well, aren't you the lucky one? Oh.

So, how'd it go?

I have to meet with her every day next week.

-Yeah, that's probably best. -No, it's not.

I can't stay trapped here. I've got my own party I'm missing.

Speaking of parties, we should get going or we'll be late to Chelsea's.

N... No rush, though. We could be fashionably late.

Not that party. That party's not real, guys!

-Why won't anybody listen to me? -Psst! Milo! Over here!

-What's up, guys? -Come with us.

We believe you.

For some time now, we have considered

that the world we live in is maybe an elaborate illusion.

What does that got to do with me strapped to this table?

We hypothesize that if we run a high enough current through your cerebellum,

it may free your mind from this reality.

All righty, what does all that talky-talk mean?

We're gonna zap you with electricity!

-(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) -W... W... What?

-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) -(SCREAMS)

BEA: Milo.

-Milo! -(MILO TREMBLING)

-MILO: Oscar? -'Sup, dude?

-MILO: Wait. Why are you guys pigs? -Uh...

'Cause we've always been pigs?

-(COW MOOS) -Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no!

-(COW MOOS) -OSCAR: Hey, Milo. Come on.

We're gonna go roll in the mud. You wanna join?

(WHIMPERS)

How about you, Horsey? Wanna come?

(SNORTS) Nay, girl. But Pigberley looks excited.

(SNORTS) Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?

-Whoa, there, Pigberley. -What the...

Wait, let me get this straight.

In your dream, you were a people like the farmer?

Uh-huh. And before that, I think I was a fish.

Sounds plausible.

Yeah, we have this theory that pigs are people, too.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

(GRUNTS)

Thanks, Cow, but I think I need to be alone for a little while. Meh.

(SNIFFLES, GROANS)

Oh. Mr. Apple, whatever should I do?

Hey, hey, hey! Don't eat me!

-What are you doing, boy? -(STUTTERS) I'm sorry, Mr. Apple!

Say, are you one of those magic wishing apples?

-Yes. -Hot dog!

Please, can you help me? I'm trapped in a dream and I can't wake up.

Yes, I've seen this before. Sorry, can't help you.

What? But you just said you were a magic wishing apple.

I am a talking apple. I say a lot of things.

Now, listen, the only way you're going to wake up

is if you take a deep look inside yourself.

But I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore.

Then you've got to find your true self then.

Now, we are inside your head, so it's gotta be around here somewhere.

But I don't even know where to start looking. (GASPS)

-The fish tank! -Yes. Hot dog.

(GASPS) Quick, quick! Get me out of this thing!

-Are you okay, Milo? -We thought you died!

-Thanks! I'll see you later, guys! -Wait! Tell us what you saw!

MILO: Everyone is a pig and stuff like that!

-Yep, he's crazy. -(SCOFFS) Bonkers.

-Milo! -Oh, I give up.

-Come on, we're already late. -MILO: Hey, guys!

-(GRUNTS) -Hey! Where's the fire?

Come on, you two. I gotta show you something! (GRUNTS)

-(SCREAMS) -(ALL GASP)

-What the... Of course. You three. -Hiya, children!

-Aw! Teacher date! -Was this what you wanted to show us?

No, no, no! That's what I wanted to show you!

Hey! Where you going, fish tank?

-Get back here and wake me up! -Okay, this is definitely weird.

-You really might be dreaming, dude! -I told you!

(PANTS) That way! That way!

-(BEA PANTS) -(MILO MUMBLES)

-What? Huh? -What the...

-What? -Hot dog!

-I'm a hot dog! -Beanut butter!

-Ah, I am a broccoli. -High five!

-Hey, there he is! -Don't let him get away!

(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYS)

(BEEPING)

(ALL GRUNT)

Oh, no! What kind of disco nightmare land is this?

(GASPS) It's not a nightmare, it's Chelsea's party!

-That's even worse! -We can party when I wake up.

-Now, let's find that fish tank! -BOTH: Right!

Hey, I know this sounds weird,

but have you seen a fish tank walking around?

-Ask Kimberley. I put her in charge. -Um... Excuse me!

I don't think Chelsea wants you standing on that!

-Attagirl! -Kimberley!

Babe, do you like hot tubs or not hot tubs?

I like hot tubs, Michael. Because they're hot.

(MUSIC PLAYS)

(GRUNTS) Oh, my God.

-There you are! -Wait! Milo! At least wait for me.

Whoa! Everybody in the pool!

No, wait! (SCREAMS)

-(ALL CHEERING) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

No!

-(GRUNTS) Oscar, do something! -Like what?

Anything!

Hey, everyone! Check this out!

-(ALL GASP) -He's too pale!

(ALL GASP)

-I'm so proud of you, bro! -Go, Milo! Go!

(MILO GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

(PANTS, GRUNTS)

(GURGLES)

MR. APPLE: Come on, boy. This isn't like you.

You're not a pig, you're not a hot dog. You're not a people.

Who are you?

(GASPS, COUGHS) Where am I? Did I make it?

(SIGHS) I'm the real me! I did it! Hot dog!

Oh, yeah! Who's a fish? Who's a fish? Who's a fish?

Shake your bottom, shake your bo...

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) Come on!

I'm Milo again! (IMITATES DISC SCRATCHING)

Fish Hooks!

(MOUSE GROANS)

Hey, Mouse. Are you feeling okay? You look just awful.

-Well, I am feeling kinda fleshy today. -Yeah. It must be going around.

You know what we need? A big, sloppy mud puddle to wallow in.

Yeah! And we could dig into a trough full of slop!

That sounds kinda gross.

Oh, excuse me, "Miss Fresh-Off-The-Vine!"

-You got any other ideas? -MOUSE: Nah.

-Just the same old, same old. -Say goodnight, Mouse.

MOUSE: "Goodnight, Mouse."