Original subtitles

(BUBBLING)

-(SONG BEGINS) -One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

(SONG ENDS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Aah! Aah! Aah! (LAUGHS)

-(HUMMING) -(BELLS RINGS)

-ALL: School's out! -(CHEERING)

Let's all go hang out at the Hokey Poke.

(MURMURS)

Hold on, guys.

Let me check with my girlfriend Angela

to see if she can come with.

Oscar, leave that poor girl alone.

What's next? You're gonna start checking in with her

to see if it's okay to check in with her?

Listen, here, buddy, I'm a grown fish,

and I can do whatever I want!

But let me check and see if it's okay with Angela first.

-All right, let's go, guys. -ALL: Yeah!

-Wait, guys! -(PHONE BEEPS)

"Busy tonight."

I'm playing video games. (LAUGHS)

-Oh, yeah! -Oh, man.

(GRUNTS) Hold on, guys.

(PANTS) I'm a-coming.

Hey, Esmargot, wait. Are you going to the Hokey Poke, too?

Yep, I'll get there eventually.

Well, how about you and I go together?

Together?

Come on, we'll have fun.

(INTERNALLY) Oh my gosh.

Is he asking me out?

I'll even drive.

(GASPS) He is!

(ENGINE STARTS)

ESMARGOT: Wait a minute, Oscar.

Don't you have a girlfriend?

Look, she's not here, is she?

ESMARGOT: Oh, my gosh. This is so wrong.

What's the matter, Esmargot? You look uncomfortable.

Here, let me adjust your headrest.

He's putting his arms around me.

And your seatbelt isn't even fastened.

Safety first.

-(ESMARGOT GASPS) -OSCAR: Can't quite fit.

Relax, Esmargot.

Oh my gosh. Hands all over me!

Are you cold? Let me get the heater.

(SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS)

Oh, darn it. This heater button always sets off the radio

And all I get is this stupid saxophone romantic station.

-I'm sorry. -(AIR BLOWS)

So, Esmargot,

Is it hot enough in here for you?

Ew.

Oh, no. A button flew off.

I should never let Milo fix my shirts.

Oh boy, I think Oscar's hitting on me.

I should have seen all the signs.

First, he invites me in his car. Ew!

And then he adjusts my headrest and then he adjusts my seatbelt

And then he puts on music. OMG.

What's worse is he has a girlfriend.

I gotta get out of here and tell the other girls.

Oscar, if we could please be on our way.

Okay.

Excuse me for being a safe driver. Yeesh!

OSCAR: We're here.

(ESMARGOT SCREAMS)

-I know. -Oh!

Girls, you're not gonna believe what just happened.

Oscar just tried to put the moves on me in his car.

I had no idea he was such a player!

I guess when you got the goods like me, you can't blame him.

(PANTS)

What? Oscar hit on you? But he has a girlfriend.

ESMARGOT: I know.

That doesn't sound like something he would do at all.

Baby, but look.

Oh my gosh. He's totally giving that girl his number.

I am so sorry I hit your car. Here's my insurance information.

Yeah, okay, now get away from me.

-Seriously. -Oh!

-(GROWLS) -Koi's right. Oh my gosh.

We gotta totally stick up for Angela.

'Cause girls gotta watch out for girls against boys

-who cheat on them. -(KOI MUMBLES)

We need to tell her right now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys are so jumping to conclusions.

I tell you, he did it! He did it!

Okay, fine. Let me go do a little detective work.

Girl, your parents must be aliens

'cause you are out of this world.

Okay, okay, okay, here's another one.

Koi or Finberley?

Oh, man, that's a tough one.

(WHISPERS) Psst, Oscar, I need to talk to you.

Sure, Bea.

BEA GOLDFISHBERG: Hmm. (GASPS)

Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.

Bea, Bea, Bea, Bea, Bea.

What if you had an opportunity with a girl?

-You mean Angela? -No, another girl.

A girl you've known a long time,

One who could be right here in front of you.

She could be nearby.

One of your friends, perhaps, and nobody would ever know.

You know, would you, you know, just go for it?

(GASPS, GRUNTS)

BEA: Oh, my gosh! It's working!

Oscar is falling apart under my expert questioning.

(SHRIEKING, MOANING)

I can't believe it. He's guilty!

Okay, time to close in for the kill.

Well, Oscar,

Would you date her, too?

(GASPS)

I'm flattered, Bea. I'm even a little bit curious,

but I'm sorry. I'm with Angela now.

There's just not enough of me to go around.

Oh, okay, well, thanks anyway, Oscar.

-I just wanted to ask. -Okay.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(SOBS)

BEA: Now I'm confused.

He says he's not a player, but he totally acts guilty.

Okay, clearly something is going on with him.

We gotta step this up. We'll set up a sting operation

and catch him in the act.

Bea, stop pantomiming

and tell us what to do next.

BEA: All right, girls, first let's thank Finberley

for being able to borrow this undercover surveillance van from her parents.

-Yeah, parents. -MAN: (OVER RADIO) Agent Finberley,

-do you copy? Over. -Agent Jones, maintain radio silence.

-Over. -(BEEPING, STATIC)

So anyway, here's the plan.

Koi, Finberley, Esmargot,

you three will enter the Hokey Poke.

Your mission, get Oscar to hit on you and record it.

I've wired the joint with surveillance cameras,

so we'll have documented proof

from every possible angle.

-ALL: Ooh! -I know. I'm a genius.

BEA: (ON RADIO) Listen up, Esmargot.

We'll be communicating to you with this hidden earpiece.

Um, that's not my ear.

-Oof! -Hey, Esmargot.

Hey, guys, what do I do?

Girl, you have got to flirt with him.

How do I do that?

(SIGHS) Stare into his soul, girl,

with your fisheyes.

Ooh, ooh! And bite your lip.

-I saw that on TV. -Me, too.

Ooh, ooh! Also laugh at everything he says.

Cody loves it when I do that. He loves it so much.

Fisheyes, bite my lip, laugh. Okay, I got it.

Esmargot, are you okay?

(LAUGHS MANICALLY)

Okay, I'm gonna go over there now.

(LAUGHS) Okay, bye-bye.

(ALL GROAN)

All right, Finberley, time to get dolled up

and let your body language do the talking.

(COUGHS) Here we go.

-... And I was like... -Oh!

Finberley, you look different.

(LAUGHS) A wink.

My eyelash!

(OSCAR GROANS)

I'll get it. (GRUNTS)

Fin stuck.

(SCREAMS)

Hey, free apples! (MUNCHES)

(GROANS)

BEA: Ugh! He's not taking the bait.

We've gotta step up the allure.

Koi, you're the biggest lure we have.

Get out there and get aggressive.

-Veronica or Shellsea? -Hi, Koi.

-(KOI GRUNTS) -(SCREAMING)

No, no, no! We've got to do something.

One way or another, we're gonna force

a confession out of that hound dog.

This fox knows just what to do.

(GROANS) What is up with those crazy fishes?

I'll tell you what's up, Oscar.

The jig is up. We got your number, buddy.

Game over for you, playa.

Yeah, my name is Oscar,

And I'm, like, totally guilty of hitting on other girls

and cheating on my girlfriend Angela and junk.

I'm so guilty.

Ugh, are you kidding me? Nobody's gonna believe this.

(CRIES)

What kind of a horrible boyfriend am I?

You're the kind that got swag, bro.

You are a playa, Oscar.

You think you could just get away with cheating on your girlfriend

-with Esmargot? -Yeah!

Cheating? No way.

I was just trying to be nice. Tell them, Esmargot.

Well, uh...

Oh! Angela deserves a better boyfriend than me.

(SOBS) I need to break up with her right now.

Esmargot, what is Oscar talking about?

What really happened in his car?

Well, he adjusted my seat

and buckled my seatbelt.

It was the closest I've ever gotten to a boy in real life.

I thought I was being romanced.

I'm sorry. I guess I overreacted.

So... not guilty?

Oh, my gosh! We've gotta stop Oscar before he gets to Angela's.

Action, girls! Go!

(SHOUTING)

(ENGINE REVS)

(OSCAR WAILS)

-Hey! Angela! -Hi, girls. I was just... (SCREAMS)

-(GRUNTS) Huh? -We are taking you

on an emergency spa day.

-B-b-but... -Have fun.

-(OSCAR WAILS) -He's coming!

Looks like I'm going to have to use

all of my acting skills

to transform into Angela.

(HUMS)

Now I am Angela, too.

Angela, I am so sorry!

What is wrong, my boyfriend?

I have a confession to make.

I think I'm... a playa.

(WAILS)

I have too many fish in my fishnet.

(GASPS, WAILS)

There, there. You're not a player, no.

You're just too nice.

Huh?

It's good to be nice, but every once in a while,

being nice can be taken the wrong way.

-Really? -But that shouldn't stop you

from being a good guy, so don't feel bad about it, okay?

Thanks, Angela,

I feel so much better now.

So how about we put this behind us

with a kiss?

-Whoa, no, no. -Sorry, I forgot to save my game.

-Whoa! -Angela? Then who...?

(LAUGHS, WHIMPERS)

Oh man, I really am a playa.

So guilty.

(SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNARLS)

(WORMS SCREAM)

(RASPY BREATHING)

ALBERT: Hmm. Hmm?

Hi-yo...

So, um...

Yeah?

Yeah.

Dang it!

Ow!

Hey, man, is that locker giving you trouble?

You need us to help you take it down?

I'm having real girl problems, guys.

I'm into Esmargot, but she's so hot, I get tongue-tied.

I can't talk to her. See?

Talking to women is easy. All you gotta do is move your lips

and make noise come out. It doesn't matter what you're saying.

As long as it's loud, you're in. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

-Like that. -And you gotta flash some money.

Women will totally talk to you if you got the Benjamins.

Albert, don't listen to these guys.

As the only fish here with an actual girlfriend,

I can tell you this. Change who you are.

Girls only want you if you can change.

(GROANS)

So who's ready

for another amazing girls' night?

Tonight's theme will be vampires.

(YELLING) Vampires! Get them away!

Oh no! I don't want them to bite me and suck my blood.

Calm down, calm down! We're only talking about vampire movies.

Well, as long as they die at the end of the movie, I'm cool with it.

What's wrong with you? Vampires are hot.

Seriously, Esmargot, the way they look at you,

like they know you and will protect you forever.

It's just hot.

They're not hot. They're awful. They stab you with their fangs

and drink your blood and drain you of your life.

How is that hot?

They love you forever, and it's real.

I'm not buying it, but I'm still down with girls' night

because I like the chips. (SLURPS)

-It's real! -GIRLS: Vampires! Whoo!

Man, girls sure get nuts over vampires.

Vampires are so hot. They're so hot.

Hey, wait a second. I have an idea.

All I need to do is dress like a vampire,

then getting Esmargot's attention will be super easy.

This is the best plan ever. I'm gonna win her heart.

Yay!

So, you see, kids, math is like baking.

It's hard.

Oh my gosh, after that movie, I love vampires even more.

Oh, me too. They are so much hotter now.

Esmargot, don't you think vampires are hot?

Can we please stop talking about vampires?

Last thing I want anyone to even mention is another vampire!

Oh no! I've been bitten

by a handsome vampire.

I'm gonna die. Watch out, here he comes.

Hola, clase. I'm a vampire. Blah, blah!

Bite me, bite me first.

No! Me!

(MURMURS)

Oh, I'm flattered, Koi, but actually, I'm here for Esmargot.

-(SHRIEKS) -Wench.

Oh my gosh. Albert's totally turned into a vampire.

Of course, it had to happen to one of the cutest boys in school.

It's my worst nightmare come true. (WAILS)

Hi, Esmargot, now that I'm a vampire,

I was wondering if you would want to go to dinner with me.

Do it. Vampires are hot.

What are your intentions, demon?

Hang on. Let me check.

Tell her you'll suck her blood.

Okey-dokey. I'm going to be sucking your blood.

Aah, aah! Oh, how do I get out of this?

Mm, I know once you vamps decide on a victim,

you're pretty relentless, so I guess I got no choice

but to have dinner with you. Ugh!

-All right. Let's get it over with. -Really? (LAUGHS)

Hey, Esmargot, blah, blah!

-(SHOUTS) -(ALBERT GIGGLES)

It worked. The vampire thing worked. I got a date.

(SONG PLAYING) Ding ding dong Rock it so well

Come on, girl Let me ring your bells

Like a boomerang Let me do my thing.

(ESMARGOT GASPS)

Mom, Dad, it's happening. Just like you warned me about.

The day I've been training for my whole life has finally come.

(GRUNTING)

Tonight, everything changes.

Tonight, I leave behind

the innocent girl I was.

Tonight, the hunter becomes the hunted.

Tonight, all vampires must die.

-(SLURPS) Tonight. -(WOLF HOWLS)

(ROMANTIC ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS)

Okay, this evening has to be magical.

I want her to be swept off her sticky little foot.

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

All right, monster, let's tango.

Esmargot, I love your outfit.

Thanks. I thought I'd dress for the occasion.

I complimented her, Milo.

Now what do I do?

All right, Albert, say something romantic, like,

"You smell like cheeseburgers."

No way, Milo. Give me that.

Albert, tell her, "I've lived a thousand years

"waiting for a girl like you."

ALBERT: Got it, over and out.

Bro, you didn't have to wear a disguise.

I didn't wanna blow our cover.

Besides, I think this dress really brings out my eyes.

Oh look, our food is here.

I hope you like spaghetti

with extra garlic.

(CHEWS, HISSES)

-(SHOUTS) -(ALBERT LAUGHS)

Scared you, didn't I?

ESMARGOT: The garlic has no effect.

He must be some sort of super vampire.

Time for plan "C."

"C" for crossbow.

Hey, Albert, there's something I wanna give you.

Wait, before you do that,

There's something I want to give you, too.

They're beautiful.

No, must resist.

Can't fight his vampire charms.

Oh, wink. My cranberry drink!

I mean, blood. Blah, blah!

I can't pull the trigger on poor Albert.

Twenty percent? I don't think so.

Here's a thousand dollars and the keys to my car.

Yes!

(SHUDDERS) I can't do it.

I just can't do it to him. (SOBS)

What happened? Okay, that didn't work.

Time to rethink.

-How are you guys at building coffins? -Why do you ask?

Who told you? Whatever they said, it was a lie. It never happened.

Well, Esmargot is not responding well to my advances,

but I think it's 'cause I haven't fully committed to the vampire lifestyle.

But I figured out the answer.

Gentlemen, I have to fight some werewolves.

Oh, my gosh. You killed and skinned two werewolves?

No, silly, they're just werewolf costumes

that you guys are gonna wear.

I did some research and the only thing hotter to a girl

than a vampire is a vampire fighting a werewolf.

Yeah, well, it certainly is hotter.

But, brother, dear, is it too much hotness?

It very well may be. But tomorrow,

I defeat some werewolves and win Esmargot's heart.

Put these on and meet me in front of the school tomorrow morning.

Okay, but I'm gonna need to let out a seam.

(BOTH HOWL)

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Bye, Mom and Dad. I'm gonna go slay some vampires.

Be back in time for the "Dr. Whootenanny" marathon.

Stupid vampires keeping me away from my shows.

(SIGHS) If I wanna impress Esmargot tomorrow,

I better get my monster sleep.

(SNORES)

Enjoy your beauty sleep, vampire.

It's gonna be your last.

(ESMARGOT GRUNTS)

Goodbye, Albert.

It's too bad.

I kind of liked you before all this vampire junk.

(ESMARGOT GRUNTS)

(PLAYS NOTES)

Good morning, Freshwater High

Freshwater High!

-Don't look. -What is it?

Stay calm, but what is the one thing

hotter than vampires?

OMG. Werewolves.

-Dude, where is Albert? -It's not like him to be late.

Boy, sleeping in a coffin is a lot harder

than I thought it would be. I feel so dry.

(GASPS) I'm outside!

And I'm all tied up.

I've gotta get to Esmargot.

Sun rays?

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Okay, which one of you two is here to protect me

from the vampires?

Uh... whoa. Hey, we're just looking for Albert.

-Do you know where he is? -I wish,

little cutie patootie.

-Well, what about Esmargot? -We wanna eat her.

Ugh! Why do all you monsters like her so much?

-(PANTS) Coming, my darling. -(CAT SNARLS)

Hey, everybody. Boy, I had a rough night.

I don't wanna hear it.

You are in trouble, Missy.

Yeah, 'cause we're wolves.

(HOWLING)

(GRUNTS) I guess I better go home and get some silver bullets

and kill me some werewolves. Ugh.

-What a day. -ALBERT: (WEAKLY) Esmargot.

I'm here to save you.

(GASPS) You're alive!

-Just barely. -Get him!

-Fight for my love. -Don't hold back.

(SHOUTING)

Stop! I can't do this anymore.

(SPITS) See?

I'm not a vampire.

I just dressed up like a vampire to impress you.

I thought you wouldn't like me if I was just regular me.

Oh, yeah, I totally knew that.

It's not like I was planning on killing you

or anything like that, so yeah.

It's all because I really like you.

Really? Because I like you, too.

Would you like to go out together?

There's nothing stopping us.

Great.

ALL: Aw!

ESMARGOT: Hmm?

ALBERT: Hmm.

Hi-yo.

HAMSTER: Why do we have to have a curfew?

-It's not fair. -Yeah.

We should be able to stay out as late as we want.

-Yeah! -Curfews are dumb.

-Let's get out of here. -Yeah!

Okay, so where should we go? It should be somewhere fun.

BOTH: Hmm?

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

-(GASPS) Our tank is fun. -Okay, let's stay in our tank.

Yeah!