Original subtitles

(BUBBLING)

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Ooh...

-(TIRES SCREECHING) -(WHOOPING)

Oh, yeah.

MILO: I would like to order a healthy portion of ice cream

with these toppings:

bananas, churros, jellybeans, and, they're not on the menu, but raisins!

Well, aren't we decisive today. Now, what can I get for you?

Uh, uh, um...

A medium algae surprise milkshake with a dab of cherry pate.

Wow, that sounds really good.

Anytime, bro!

You know, I'm always here to make your tough choices. (SLURPING)

Then maybe you could help me pick out a tie for my date with Angela.

We're going to see a show at Moon's Magic Palace,

and I gotta look real spiffy.

-The right tie is very important. -(MILO SLURPING)

It could make me look suave and sophisticated.

-But the wrong tie... -(SLURPING)

Uh... I don't wanna pick the wrong tie.

What if it's not there?

What if the whole store is filled with wrong ties?

I don't feel so good. I can't do this!

This is why I'm here!

I am picking out a tie for you!

Hey, here comes Bea.

Don't ask her for help.

OSCAR: But she always gives me good fashion advice.

She's a girl in a mall.

She can't make a decision to save her life!

Hey, Oscar. What are you all dressed up for?

Okay, Bea, I've got something to prove to Oscar.

Who do you like more, me or Oscar?

That's not a fair question. You're both my friends.

I rest my case.

I just need a tie for my date.

Milo's gonna help me choose.

Oh, fun!

-I wanna help. -Hush!

Oscar is gonna buy the tie that I choose.

You go do your Bea stuff, okay?

I got this.

Um... I think I'm a better judge of what a girl wants to see

hanging from her date's neck.

Come on, Oscar, let me show you.

-Okay. -Oh, brother!

This is gonna take forever.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

OSCAR: So many choices.

Welcome to Tie-dal Wave.

Oh, my gosh! That one has a horse on it!

You get in, you get in.

Stop!

You are filthy.

Uh... I'm the tie-picker-outer.

My brother needs me in there, so...

You must wait outside.

What? Why?

Only sophisticated clientele are allowed in this establishment.

Not the likes of you.

-Milo? -Oh, you are making a big mistake, mister!

I'm coming back for you, Oscar!

Milo, you can't leave me here with all these ties!

I'll never be able to pick one without you!

Wait right here!

I'll be back!

(YELLS, GROANS)

There's no time to lose.

I gotta get in there and help Oscar, but how?

Thank you, Mr. Edmondson.

Do come again.

Au revoir.

Oh, that Hugh.

Hugh! You gotta hook a brother up with some of your fancy!

(FRENCH ACCENT) Milo? You've never talked to me at school.

Why this sudden interest?

I need to be high society, so I can help Oscar.

He needs me.

Helping your brother is a noble cause,

but are you certain you wish to leave your old self behind

to pursue the glory of a fancy life?

How do I say yes in fancy talk?

-Indubitably. -Okay.

(FRENCH TUNE PLAYING)

Woo-hoo!

I always wondered who lived in this majestic countryside.

Fanciness, she is a way of life, Milo.

This will not be an easy task, Milo.

Most fish give up before ever becoming truly fancy.

Welcome to Chez Edmondson.

(MILO GASPS)

Oh, it feels so classy in here.

And the water...

It's so delicious.

Rose water.

I find it sets the mood for fanciness.

We have reached your first training ground.

Training ground?

Looks like a tea party to me.

Yes, as we sip,

we will make you fancy.

Well, let's make it snappy. I gotta get back to Oscar.

Without me, he's toast.

Indeed, there is no time to lose.

Sit straight, show me your fins,

elbows up, speak softly, and sip slowly.

And always remember, you must respect other fishes' personal space.

Do not do this in public.

(GIGGLES) But I do this to all my friends.

-This must change. -(THUD)

It is as simple as that.

(GULPING LOUDLY)

Milo, no!

Did I do bad?

A fancy fish drinks from a cup, Milo.

Cup?

(SLURPS AND SMACKS LOUDLY)

Now, that's fancy!

HUGH: Tres bien.

Come, there is still much to learn.

BEA: Oh, look at that one!

Sure, but what about this one?

Yeah, okay.

But what about this one?

Confident guys wear pink ties.

I don't know.

Look at the size of our "maybe" pile.

I think we do need Milo.

No, we don't.

This is simple.

You just need to pick the one that complements your suit and your eyes.

It has to say, "Hey, I'm Oscar. .I wanna make your dreams come true,"

And then say, "I have secrets, but not creepy secrets."

Yeah, we definitely need Milo.

And now we move on to the sport of fancy fish...

croquet.

Fancy fish like hammers?

These are mallets, Milo.

You know, like in the video game.

How you say? Kooky Carpenter Cousins.

Oh, yeah!

Now, see here. The mallets, you swing them gently

to strike the ball in just such a way that it rolls through the hoop.

-Fancy boy, say what? -The hoop.

-Say what? -The hoop.

Say what?

-You mean that thing? -Oui.

Oh, watch this.

Be careful! There was no hoop in that wig.

Watch how I do this.

-(RUSTLING) -(IN BRITISH ACCENT) A ball, mummy!

Hooray!

MILO: Hmm...

Oh, mummy, another one!

Yeah!

Tres bien, Milo.

You know, I think I'm getting the hang of this.

Too many choices!

I can't possibly decide!

Oh, wow, are you picking out a tie?

-(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Yeah. -How exciting!

I'm a tie enthusiast, too.

What are you selecting today?

Oh, no, I'm not a collector.

I just need a tie for a date.

Any tie nut can see you have the perfect tie right here.

Uh... I just can't tell anymore.

Well, I think it's incredible.

But I'll just put it here, and let you think about it.

Don't sweat it. I'll help you find one.

Hmm. It seems you're having some difficulty finding the right tie.

Well, rest easy, there's still an entire store-worth of ties

-left to see. -(BEEP)

Voila, the first floor is revealed.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh, no!

(HARPSICHORD MUSIC PLAYING)

I will show you once how to do this dance.

Then you will do it yourself.

Enchanting.

-Bonsoir. -Bonsoir.

(WALTZ PLAYING)

That looks hard!

But if being fancy means dancing,

then I'm gonna dance my heart out!

Good day, Henrietta.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC) Yeah, get up off of that thing

Dance, and shake, and let's swing

Let me do my thing

No, no, you're doing it all wrong, stop.

This is your greatest challenge.

You must dance like the wind.

Then you will achieve true fanciness.

Very well, for Oscar.

(WALTZ PLAYING)

MALE VOICE: Milo!

The Fountain of Fancy, it speaks!

You have proven yourself a sophisticated fish.

I now pronounce you fancy!

It is breathtaking.

Okay,

we do not have much more time.

We need to come to a decision, guys.

Rock the chest-hair style.

No tie.

Bad idea, trust me.

Ladies love short ties.

Uh... It looks kind of bad.

A tie needs bunnies to be a true date tie.

Like this classic bow.

His name is Bernard.

I'm still not too sure about the bunnies.

(GRUNTS)

Koi, these are refrigerator magnets.

A bolo tie'd look pretty spiffy.

Just focus on the hair, man.

Perhaps you would like to see the storeroom.

Milo, where are you?

(FANFARE SOUNDS)

What was that?

How fancy!

I have graduated from the school of fancy,

and I'm here to help my brother pick out a tie.

Oh, gracious.

I assume you will let me in now.

Yes, of course, your majesty.

Milo, thank goodness you're here.

You're the only one that can pick this tie.

Yes, yes, but where to begin?

There's so much quality here.

So many fine pieces of fabric.

I couldn't possibly be bothered making a decision quickly.

Just pick one! There's only 15 minutes until my date!

Fancy takes time.

Oh, gosh! Milo's gone so fancy he can't make a decision!

I've gotta undo this madness! Koi!

Unhand me!

OSCAR: This is for your own good, Milo.

My finery!

(PILLOW FARTS)

How revolting!

My powder!

This is barba... (MUMBLING)

(SCREAMING)

My wig! (SCREAMS)

Where am I?

You're at the mall.

How do you feel?

I feel like...

throwing a picnic in a rose garden.

Come back to me, Milo!

What do you say when you're happy?

-Ooh... Come again? -What do you say when you're happy?

Delightful.

Not that.

Think with your heart.

Uh...

Come on,

come on.

(CRIES OUT) Hot dawg!

Yes!

Mm-mm-mm.

Thank you, Oscar.

Okay, you gotta help me pick a tie.

Oh, that's right, and I know just the one.

Ugh. You again.

Oh, my tie!

OSCAR: O is for Oscar!

-Of course! -Helping your friends is always fancy.

(BURPS LOUDLY)

Evil Lord Milort, prepare for battle.

-Ha! -(IMITATES SHOOTING)

(IMITATES SHOOTING) Huh?

(BOTH YELLING)

-(FARTING SOUND) -Oh, man!

(GRUNTS)

Aha, it's all over now!

Even in Evil's finest... (SCREAMS)

(YELLS) It won't turn off!

BOTH: Uh-oh.

(GRUNTS)

Well, boys... (BURPS)

it look like you cracked your water filter.

Oh, yeah!

You see, we were partying with some ladies,

and then one of the ladies hit her head and broke it.

Yeah, 'cause she's all tall.

I want this guy to think we're cool.

So, do you know how long it'll take to fix?

(GRUNTS)

(FARTS)

ROY: It might take a couple of days.

Maybe a month.

Either way, boys... (CHOMPING)

you shouldn't stay here with this gunk around.

(STOMACH RUMBLES) This place is toxic.

(CHOMPING)

Well...(GROANS)

I'll see ya.

Jeez, what are we gonna do now?

Where are we gonna stay?

Well, we'll just have to build ourselves a place to live.

Come on.

(GRUNTING)

Ha ha!

Milo, are you kidding me? We can't live in that.

Here, look.

See? Now that looks like a house.

Ooh...

-Hey! -MILO AND OSCAR: Hey, Bea.

Oh, what are you guys doing?

Oh, our water filter broke, so we're living out here until it's fixed.

This is my room.

You're living out here?

Like, outside, out here?

Yeah, it'll be a little rough,

but we're tough guys, we can handle it.

Hey, you want some chips?

(STRAINING)

Hold on. (STRAINING) Oh, boy.

MILO: Hey, guys, look!

-The puppy likes me, yay! -(DOG GROWLS)

Go away! Shoo! Shoo!

(SIGHS) Okay,

if you stay out here...

uh... you're going to die.

Well, where else are we gonna stay, Bea?

The moon?

Or you could come stay in my tank.

You guys are my best friends.

What do you say?

(ANIMAL HOWLING)

Okay, let's get out of here.

Yeah, let's just get out of here.

Now if you boys need anything else,

please don't hesitate to ask.

That's right!

Any friend of Bea's is a cousin of mine!

(SINGING) La, la, la, la!

All right, Dad.

I think we're all set here.

And remember, rent's due at the end of the month!

-(SINGING) La, la, la, la... -Okay, you're done.

Ugh! Sorry, my parents are, like, genetically engineered to be embarrassing.

(BEA'S DAD STILL SINGING)

All righty, well, sweet dreams, boys.

Oh, you wanna go to bed already?

It's way too early for that!

Oh, well, what do you wanna do?

Oh, let's play truth or dare.

I'll go first! I'll go first!

Truth!

What is the worst thing you've ever done?

Well... (CHUCKLES) one time I tooted in Oscar's bed

because, you know, I didn't want my own sheets to smell.

Oh, Milo!

Eww! That's gross! Oscar, truth or dare?

Um... dare.

(OSCAR CLEARS THROAT)

Uh... Mr. And Mrs. Goldfishberg?

Me baby.

Me have to use potty.

(GIGGLING)

Oh, well, it's right down the hall to your left, dear.

Okay, thank you.

(MILO AND BEA LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

I can't believe you guys made me say that.

Ah...

All right, what do you guys wanna do next?

(SINGING) Me, you, and you

Whatever we may do

I don't want it to be

More than just us three

You, and you, and me

And that, class, is how you wash your laundry in the sink.

(SNORING)

(YELLS) Bea Goldfishberg!

What? What was the question?

I didn't ask a question, Bea.

If I don't get to sleep in class anymore, you don't get to either, comprende?

Sorry, Mr. Baldwin.

What's with the face? Hot date last night?

No, I just stayed up late hanging out with Milo and Oscar.

They're living in my tank for a little while.

Long story.

They seem like they'd be really annoying.

(CHUCKLES) Actually, it's fun.

I mean they are my friends...

and friends can never...

spend too much time together. (SNORING)

What?

(YAWNING LOUDLY)

Good night, Mom and Dad.

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, Bea!

Milo's chasing me with his stinky sock!

(RESIGNED CHUCKLE)

Yeah, that's great.

Well, boys, I'm going to bed now.

-No! -Come on, Bea,

stay up and hang out a little bit.

How do you guys have all this energy?

I'm exhausted.

I don't know, we always stay up late. I guess we're just used to it.

Well, I really need to get my 12 hours tonight, so...

BOTH: So?

So...

BOTH: (LOUDER) So?

(LOUDER) So...

Oh, okay, well, we'll just be in here.

MILO: Good night, Bea.

(SIGHS)

OSCAR: Milo, why did you bring that stinky sock into the tent?

MILO: I didn't.

OSCAR: Well, then your fins stink.

-(FIGHTING) -Get them away from me!

Guys? (SINGSONG VOICE) Girl trying to sleep here.

BOTH: Sorry, Bea.

MILO: Oscar,

my sleeping bag is cold.

Permission to come aboard?

-OSCAR: No, Milo! -(FIGHTING)

OSCAR: Permission not granted.

(ROOSTER CROWING)

That's right, Steve Jackson,

pommel that horse.

-(SLURPING) -(NEIGHING)

(SNORING)

-Bea, wake up! -What?

Oh, no, did I miss Steve Jackson's floor routine?

-Shaaa. Riveting. -Dang it!

Milo and Oscar kept me up all night again!

Oh, really?

Well, here come your new roomies now.

-MILO: Bea! Bea! -OSCAR: Bea, there you are.

Yeah, you just rushed out the door.

(EXCLAIMS) Oh, my gosh, Milo, what are you wearing?

Well, I ran out of clean clothes,

so I borrowed some of yours.

You're out of clean clothes?

In two days?

Well, what you want me to say, Bea?

My clothes are dirty.

Oh, and Bea, I was using your laptop,

and I think it got a virus or something,

because it started sending everyone on your email list a questionable video.

-But don't worry. I can fix it. -(BEA GROANS)

Hey, girl, we're gonna go get us some sandwiches.

We'll see you at home.

Bye, Bea.

-(GROANS) -(SLURPS)

(VOICE ECHOING) Oh, Bea, I forgot to tell you I borrowed your tweezers!

You know,

the ones you use to pluck your chin.

(GROANS)

(MILO LAUGHING)

ALL: Bea!

Oh, hi, dear, I was just showing Oscar pictures from when you were a baby.

Now, here, Bea went through a phase where she just puked all over the place.

(LAUGHS) Oh, gosh.

Hey, Bea,

did you know that your dad is, like, really cool?

Well, thanks, Milo.

Say, can you make a list of all the boys Bea talks to at school?

Of course!

Boy, are there a lot of them.

Who's up for a game of family charades?

MILO AND OSCAR: Yay!

(YELLS) No!

(SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

Now they're bonding with my parents?

This has got to stop.

(RINGING)

(GROANS) Roy's Repair.

Hi, I'm calling to see how soon Milo and Oscar's water filter will be fixed.

Well, miss... (FARTS)

my favorite program is on now.

After that, it could be a couple of days, maybe a month.

(BEA SCREAMS)

(BEA'S DAD SINGING IN HER HEAD) La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la...

(LAUGHS CRAZILY)

I know... I know they're my best friends,

but if they stay in my house a minute longer

I'm going to (SINGSONG VOICE) lose it!

(CRIES)

What am I gonna do?

MALE VOICE: (ECHOING) What if you didn't have a home for them to live in?

Who said that?

What if there was a way to get Milo and Oscar out of your tank

without hurting their feelings?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but how do I do it?

Smash your water filter, Bea,

then they can't stay here anymore.

LAPTOP: Yeah, smash your filter.

HAIRBRUSH: Just say it was an accident.

It is the only way to save your friendship.

Yes!

That's it, I'll smash my filter.

You can use me.

ALL: Smash it, smash it!

Smash it, smash it!

Yeah!

(LAUGHS CRAZILY)

(LAUGHS CRAZILY)

All my problems are solved!

OSCAR: Bea!

Oh, my gosh, Bea, what did you do?

My pillow told me if I smashed my filter, everything would be okay.

What the heck are you talking about, girl?

Guys, you living here has kind of been driving me crazy,

but I didn't want to make you feel bad.

So, this seemed like the best solution.

Bea, we had no idea.

You should've just said something.

We're your friends; we get it.

Yeah, Oscar's always telling me I'm annoying, but...

I still love him!

If us staying here isn't working,

you know, we'll just figure something else out.

Really?

Aww. Thanks for being so understanding.

BEA'S DAD: O-M-Gee whiz!

What happened in here?

Oh, my! It looks like we're going to have to find another place to stay for a while.

Oh, I know the perfect place!

Good night, everyone!

MILO, OSCAR AND BEA'S MOM: Good night, Bea.

Good night, Bea.

(SINGING) La, la, la, la, la, la!

(SIGHS) Good night, pillow.

Good night, Bea.

MOUSE: (SINGING) La, la, la, la, la, la!

La, la, la, la, la, la!

La, la, la, la, la, la!

Oh Mouse, you have such a beautiful voice.

Can you teach me to sing like you?

Sure. Just open your mouth.

Wider.

Wider.

Wider still!

(GROANING)

Hey, shut the door! I'm being digested in here!

Father?