Original subtitles

(BUBBLING)

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

-(TIRES SQUEALING) -(CRASHING)

(OSCAR CRYING HYSTERICALLY)

Oh my gosh. I'm so proud of you, Oscar.

You're finally facing your fears and taking your driver's test.

It's a very Bea-like move.

My bro is taking his drivinger's test.

-(SQUEALS) -Uh, thanks, guys.

You know, usually when I start thinking about driving,

I get all sweaty and I try to find a place to hide.

But not today.

Today I make my driving dreams come true.

And even more importantly,

I won't have to bum any more uncomfortable car rides.

You don't need to worry none, Oscar.

Mr. Cluckers only pecks on folks he's fond of.

-(SQUAWKS) -Ow, my eye!

Me and Dan have matching birthmarks.

Wanna see?

(GROANS) Those Chovie twins.

All right, I've been practicing my driving skills for months

and I have every traffic law noted and memorized.

I'm ready to do this!

But what if I get all nervous and forget something?

OSCAR: And then the instructor starts yelling at me?

And then I get carsick? And what about parallel parking?

I don't like parallel parking!

I need to find somewhere to hide!

-Oscar, no. -No! Bad Oscar. Bad.

You can't start panicking now. You have to stay calm.

-Calm. -And be confident in your driving.

And remember, if Milo can pass his driver's test...

-(SNAPS FINGERS) -...you can pass yours.

(SIGHS) You're right, Bea. I will not panic.

I will be a calm, confident driver.

Bring on my driving instructor.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

Hello, future drivers of the world!

(SCREAMS) Mr. Mussels? Y... you're my driving instructor?

That is correct, Oscar.

What a wonderful surprise this must be.

The world is full of wonderful surprises.

Now here's another one.

-(MR. MUSSELS GRUNTS) -Ta-da! Yeah!

Coach Salmons? Wh... why are you here?

Why, Oscar, I am your backseat driving instructor.

And together, Mr. Mussels and I will guide you

on the magical driving journey into adulthood. Exciting!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Come now, gentle Oscar. Your test begins.

Get in the car!

All right, Oscar, I'm gonna give you the lowdown.

Coach and I are working on a ding system.

(SINGS) Ding!

When you start driving bad, we're gonna ding ya.

(SINGS) Ding!

If you get two dings or less, you pass.

Yay, yay, yay, yay!

If you get three dings, you fail.

Boo! Oh, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

Uh, ding's bad. Got it. Anything else?

Yeah, just try to do your best.

And no matter what happens, you'll always be our little student.

Now start driving.

BOTH: Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive!

-Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! -(GROANS)

Yeah!

Whoa!

-MR. MUSSELS: Turn right! -(OSCAR SCREAMS)

-COACH SALMONS: Now go left! -MR. MUSSELS: Yeah!

MR. MUSSELS AND COACH SALMONS: Straight, straight, straight, straight!

-OSCAR: Okay. -Yay!

-Quick, beep at that man. -(HORN HONKING)

S'up, Baldwin?

OSCAR: (GROANS) Where do I turn now?

I have no idea where I'm going!

COACH SALMONS: Follow your heart, Oscar. (VOICE BREAKING) Follow your heart.

-All right, stop! -(SCREAMS)

(SIGHS)

Oscar, my belly is full from all this fine driving you just served me.

And now all you must do is drive us back to the D.M.V.

-so we can reward you with your license. -Yeah.

Huh, okay. Get back to the D.M.V. and get my license.

Then I never have to drive again.

Uh, sirs, how do I get back to the D.M.V.?

(BIRD SCREECHES)

-MR. MUSSELS: Hmm. -Uh, let me check the map.

-Ding! -(SCREAMS)

Oh, Oscar, reading while driving is a dingable offense.

It's not your fault, Oscar.

-It's the map. -Wait!

(GRUNTS)

Uh, how are we supposed to get home now?

Easy. Let Mussel's keen sense of direction guide the way.

(SINGING) Oh, someone's in the car with Oscar

-Someone's in the car I know-o-o-o -Me!

(SINGING) Someone's in the car with Oscar

As we're driving down the road

-It's Mussels. -(LAUGHING)

Do you think we should stop to ask for directions?

No. I know where we are going.

Well, I think we should just try.

-Coach, please. This is a shortcut. -Fine.

-(BUBBLING) -Uh, sirs,

I'm not sure if this shortcut is working.

In fact, I'm pretty sure we're not even in the fish tanks.

-Sirs? -Listen, Coach,

I want to apologize for getting curt with you earlier.

I let my temper get the best of me!

It takes a big man to admit he's wrong, Mr. Mussels. All is forgiven.

Uh, Mr. Mussels, what about the shortcut?

Oh, yeah, I was wrong about that too. I don't know where we are.

What? You mean we're lost?

Ding, Oscar. You're not looking at the road.

-(SCREAMS) -That's two dings.

Don't get any more unless you want to break my heart.

Okay, okay. Just got to find my way back into the tanks.

But who knows their way around this outdoorsy area? (GASPS)

OSCAR: Milo!

-(PHONE RINGS) -(GRUNTS) Hello?

Hello, Milo.

It's Coach Salmons calling you from Oscar's cellular telephone.

-Okay, now ask him... -How are you, dear boy?

Good. I had four apples today.

Well, well, well, that's a lot of apples.

Yeah. And Bea only had one.

-Well, four is much more than one. -Uh, directions, Coach.

-Oh, yes. Say, Milo, can I... -(PHONE BEEPING)

Hello? Hello?

(BEEPING)

Oscar, your cellular phone has died.

-How many apples did that boy eat? -(GROANS)

OSCAR: (GROANS) So this is how it ends,

lost outside the tanks and I never get my license.

Fellows. Fellows, look.

COACH SALMONS: A Burger Bunny!

-BOTH: Burger Bunny! Burger Bunny! -(GROANS)

COACH SALMONS: Burger Bunny!

COACH SALMONS AND MR. MUSSELS: Yay!

-COACH SALMONS: Mm-mm! Ah! -Uh, okay. I'm gonna start driving again.

Is there anything else you guys need to do while we're here?

-Nope. -Nope.

Are you sure, Coach Salmons?

Why, yes I am, Oscar. (SLURPS)

(GRUNTS)

Ah.

-I have to use the little coach's room! -Hilarious!

-Oscar, Oscar, can we please pull over? -Fine.

Well?

Oscar, did you just turn without using a turn signal?

I don't know. Maybe.

Good little drivers always use their turn signals, Oscar.

-Wait, you mean? -(SLOWLY) Ding.

-My third ding. -I'm sorry, Oscar. (SIGHS)

You failed your driver's test. (SOBS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(SOBS)

Oh, Coach, it's like someone just sucker-punched my heart.

I failed my driver's test.

-Can things get any worse? -(ALL SCREAM)

-What is it? -It's an arm.

-The arm has a body! -(CAT ROARS)

-We parked right behind a monster! -(CRASHING)

Oh, how inconvenient.

Take this and that.

Oh my goodness, it's too strong even for Mr. Mussels!

-Mother, I'll see you on the other side. -(CRASHING)

I don't want to die before I get my license!

-Calm. -Confident driver.

I know what I have to do.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(ROARS)

Uh, sirs, I think it's time to show this beast how to park... parallel.

(BOTH GASP)

(CAT GROWLS)

Oh, Oscar! You just parallel parked us right out of danger.

And look!

Oscar, I just want to let you know how proud we are of all your crazy driving.

(SOBS) Very proud.

Well, I couldn't have done it without you guys

reminding me to be confident and stuff.

Too bad I failed my test.

(SINGING) Well, Oscar

Since you saved our lives, Mr. Mussels and I decided to revoke...

(SINGING) one of your dings!

You mean I get my license?

Now get over here.

Yes, come on. Let us take your picture.

Yes!

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Tomorrow I think I'm gonna eat five whole apples.

Hey, guys, I passed my test! I'm a licensed driver!

I'll call you back, Phyllis.

-Congratulations. -We knew you could do it, Oscar.

Yup, all it took was a little patience and calm nerves.

OSCAR: I did it!

(DOGS BARKING)

MILO: This new TV is awesome.

Man, this big old screen is drying me out with its heat.

I sure could use a cold refreshing beverage.

-(BELL RINGS) -Oh, Oscar! Bea!

Can you please get me a juice?

MILO: Hmm. I guess they must have went out.

(SIGHS) That means I have to get it myself.

(STRAINS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY) I prepared for this moment.

With my backup fridge.

(STRAINS)

(GASPS)

(STRAINS)

(STRAINS)

(SLURPS) Hot dog!

BOTH: Hey! Hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, Milo. What do you think of our "hey" dance?

Bea did the moves and I did the lyrics.

Whoa, dude. What's that on your head?

It's my invention. I call it a fridge hat. (SLURPS)

A fridge what?

Well, let's say you want a cool, frosty beverage,

but you don't feel like swimming across the room.

-What do you do? -Uh, I don't know.

Wha-cha! Fridge hat.

(SLURPS) Try it for yourselves.

(BOTH SLURPING)

-Wow, this is something else! -(GASPS) Hey, this is awesome!

Um, where did you get the two extra fridges?

I got so excited I made 100 of them just now.

I figured an idea this good can't go to waste.

Everybody's gonna want one!

Boy, Milo, for a guy too lazy to swim to the fridge,

you sure are industrious.

(GASPS) You know, with a little paint and a glue gun

these things could be (SING-SONG) cute accessories!

So, what do you say? Are we in the fridge hat business?

-MILO AND BEA: Sign us up! -All right!

Let's get out there and sell these puppies.

Oh, wow, you guys. I think we're ready.

Let's make some dreams come true. Positions!

I'm so excited.

I mean, this is the first idea I've had that could actually help people.

Instead of hurting them.

Hello, friends!

Feast your eyes on the wonder machine that is sweeping Freshwater.

BEA: It's for all you thirsty fishes out there

who have been waiting so long for a cold, frosty beverage.

But today that wait is over.

Just look. (SLURPS) Aah!

Utterly refreshed.

-Oh, wow. -Oh, man.

-Wait, what's that noise? -(DISTANT CHEERING)

-(CHEERING) -(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

-Hello, Freshwater! -ALL: Hey, Randy.

Let me introduce you to my newest invention,

the better fridge hat!

It's not just a bear, it's a fridge you can wear.

-(BEA AND OSCAR GASP) -No, no, no, no, no.

I'd like to tell you a little story.

It was late last night and I was drinking warm juice.

Warm juice, boo!

So that's when it hit me.

What if I had a cool little buddy to get me drinks that are...

oh, I don't know, cold?

This is wrong.

Randy, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you stole my idea.

Well, how do I know you didn't steal the idea from me?

How dare you, sir? How dare you?

Well, then what's this?

RANDY: Why, I sent you this note on Monday.

Today is Friday, Milo, Friday.

-You're lying. -No, it really is Friday.

That hat is Milo's idea and you know it.

Girl, you've got to stop.

Randy's been selling this stuff all morning.

(GASPS) Et tu, Shellsea?

-(BOOING) -Leave Randy alone!

Randy, I'm not going to let you steal the one good idea I have ever had.

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY) I'm Randy Pincherson.

Evil!

How did he steal the idea?

If he had a nose, I'd bop him on it right now.

Just you wait, Pincherson. I shall return with an even better idea.

BEA: Thanks for coming out.

Boy, oh, boy, have we got something great for you!

Let's see it, sister.

I present to you all, fridge hat ultra.

-MILO: With a cute little hat. -(GASPS)

Cute hats make everything better.

It's so much better than my better fridge hat.

Yuck! Give me a fridge hat, boys.

Oh my gosh, it's so cool.

I can hardly... Wait, what's Randy got?

Randy's got the goods, baby.

You ever see a bear this debonair?

RANDY: He's even got a monocle.

-Insane! -(EXCITED CHATTER)

Here we are again.

I mean, can you believe what an incredible sales crab I am?

We're offering practically identical products,

but I'm the only one selling anything.

How did you know about the fridge hat?

And why do you know so much? Something's fishy.

I wish I knew what you were referring to,

but the beautiful music of your voice overwhelms me.

How can a crab in love be subject to reason... or copyright law?

Get your filthy claws off her!

(STRAINS AND GROANS)

(RINGS)

Whoa, looks like it's time for class. I'm Randy Pincherson!

We've got to figure out how he knows what we know what he knows what we know.

And there's only one way we can know that...

MILO: "Techmology."

-(CHUCKLES) TV! -(DOORBELL RINGING)

-So is the camera working? -Stop touching it, Milo.

Just find the proof we need to bust that crab.

Oh hey, Milo. What can I do for you?

Uh, my car broke down. Can I come in?

Mi casa es su casa. That's Spanish for "sure."

Gracias.

You know, Milo, I feel like I can trust you.

Would you like to see how the better fridge hat ultra is made? Huh? Would you?

(CLANKING AND WHIRRING)

RANDY: Look at 'em go. I hired the entire St. Clamcis Cheerleading squad.

Clams don't sleep. Did you know that? And they work like crazy.

And this is my printing press where I make my advertising.

(RANDY LAUGHING DEEPLY)

Oh, and this is my pet alligator.

It's 18 kinds of illegal to have him here, you know.

Randy, this is very impress...

Choose your next words very carefully, Milo.

When I let go, you are gonna tell me exactly what you came here for,

or my hungry friend gets a fishy treat.

-Now spill it! -Well...

(SPLUTTERS) Um...

(WHIMPERS) I mean...

(MILO GROANS)

Look, did you steal the idea for the fridge hat?

Gasp, you figured it out. I stole your idea.

RANDY: It was just too genius to let it pass me by.

Of course, I've improved upon it since then.

But it was wrong and I'm sorry for all the pain and confusion I've caused you.

-You admit it? -Absotively.

Um, thank... Thank you for your time.

I've got to... I've got to go.

All right, bye. Thanks for visiting.

-(SPLASHING) -Randy, I want to play a board game.

OSCAR: Finally, video evidence.

FISH PUPPET: Gee, Randy, I sure am stupid.

CRAB PUPPET: That's okay. I expect it from a fish.

(GASPS) Puppets?

(LAUGHS) I don't remember being a puppet.

You stupid fishes trusted me? Come on, I'm the Pinchmaster!

I just hacked into your video feed. You didn't record a thing.

And Bea, this is just for you.

Mmm-wah.

Fireworks. (HISSES)

CLAMS AND RANDY: Pinchmaster out!

Crabs are the worst.

That crab is the meanest crab I have ever met.

Now if you'll excuse me, It's time I wrote a blog entry.

I didn't know Milo had a blog.

(TYPING)

Milo, what could you possibly be writing abou...

Our plans!

MILO: I needed a place to vent.

Somewhere private. You know, like the Internet.

You have one follower, and it's Randy.

(GASPS) Do you think that's how he knew?

Are you kidding? You gave it all away.

What have I done?

-Milo, this isn't your fault. -Randy abused your trusting nature.

(GROANS) I'm no genius. All this thing has caused is problems.

(STRAINS)

And Randy is the only one benefiting from it.

(STRAINS)

And it's... (SCREAMS)

It's extremely painful.

Milo, it took off your hair!

These things are defective after prolonged use.

Hmm. (GASPS) Of course!

You are a genius again.

I think it's time you wrote one more blog entry.

(CACKLES)

-(COMPUTER BEEPING) -Ooh, Milo, you are too good to me.

RANDY: I smell money in the air.

CROWD: Randy! Randy! Randy!

Everyone, thanks for showing up.

RANDY: By now you all know how incredible

my invention, the better fridge hat, is as a hat.

But I've got something you're gonna like way better.

Impossible!

Everybody take off those old fridge hats

and get ready for the fridge hat mini.

Oh my gosh. They're so cute!

(SCREAMS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

BOTH: Randy, look what you did to our hair!

-It's working! -Hot dog!

What? That can't be right.

No, not the hat. (SCREAMS)

-(LAUGHS) -Randy, looking good!

-Get that hairless crab! -(ALL CLAMORING)

-Get him! He cheated us. -Somebody get that crab!

(PANTS)

(SCREAMS)

Oh, no you don't, Randy.

-(YELLING) -(RANDY SCREAMS)

Well, Randy, I guess yours was the rip-off after all. (LAUGHS)

Good thing I had another brilliant idea.

Who wants emergency rainbow afros of love?

(clamoring)

-Good one, Milo. -Thanks!

(SINGING) Afros!

MOUSE: You know, I don't mind spring cleaning.

Something about tidying and picking up around the terrarium.

You never know what kind of old stuff you're gonna come across.

(RUMMAGING)

Uh, Snake, whose is this?

Well, I am sure I don't know... (GAGS)

Oh, you're right about finding old stuff, Mouse.

I totally forgot about that dude.

MOUSE: Well, let me know when you find my mind, 'cause I'm losing it!