All language subtitles for Dog.With.A.Blog.S01E15_English

HEY, AVERY, IS THAT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS?

REALLY? YOU THINK
THIS IS ONE OF MY FRIENDS?

WELL, I WAS HOPING NOT,
BUT I'M TRYING TO BE LESS "JUDGEY."

IT'S UNION GENERAL AMBROSE BURNSIDE.

I'M DOING A REPORT ON THE CIVIL WAR,

BUT I JUST CAN'T FOCUS.
I KEEP THINKING ABOUT...

-DUSTIN?
-HOW'D YOU KNOW?

JUST A LUCKY GUESS.

I SIT NEXT TO HIM IN ENGLISH.

HE'S ASKED TO BORROW MY PENCIL FOUR
TIMES. THAT MEANS SOMETHING, RIGHT?

YEAH. HE HAS NO REGARD FOR PENCILS.

YOU'RE NOT HELPING, STAN.

I CAN'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT DUSTIN...

NOT EVEN MY SCHOOLWORK.

IT'S LIKE HE'S LIVING INSIDE MY HEAD.

OH! I SOMETIMES FEEL
THAT WAY ABOUT EAR MITES,

WHICH TECHNICALLY
ARE LIVING INSIDE MY HEAD.

I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE.

IT'S LIKE SUDDENLY THERE'S SOMETHING
MAKING ME FEEL WARM AND TINGLY INSIDE,

AND ITS NAME IS...

-BACON!
-DUSTIN.

( laughing )

OH, I TOTALLY MISJUDGED
WHERE YOU WERE GOING WITH THAT.

COME ON, STAN.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL WEIRD SAYING THIS,

BUT I REALLY WANT DUSTIN
TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.

HOW DO I DO THAT?

YOU WAIT FOR BREAKFAST AND HOPE
SOME FALLS ON THE FLOOR.

THAT'S WHAT I DO WITH BACON.

I'M SERIOUS.

STAN, YOU'RE THE ONE I COUNT ON.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE BEST ADVICE.

UH, I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU, BUT I'VE
GOT TO GO PLAY A GAME WITH CHLOE.

STAN, WAIT, I JUST WANNA--

HEY, SWEETIE, I THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT LIKE A SNACK WHILE YOU STUDY.

OH, THANKS.

WOW! UH... THAT'S INTERESTING.

IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT?

-NO.
-REALLY?

-NO.
-REALLY?

-NO.
-REALLY?

-YES.
-REALLY?

NO.

THIS IS BENNETT JAMES
IN TRAFFIC COPTER 6.

OH, WE'VE GOT A LITTLE
BACKUP ON INTERSTATE 5,

-HEADIN' INTO--
-HEY, GUESS WHAT!

THOUGHT THOSE TOYS
WERE FOR YOUR PATIENTS.

I WAS JUST MAKIN' SURE THEY'RE SAFE.

THIS ONE IS NOT.

YOU WERE, UH, SAYING?

YEAH, YEAH. HUGE NEWS.
AVERY'S GOT HER FIRST CRUSH.

SHE WROTE HIS NAME
ALL OVER HER ART WALL,

BUT WHEN I ASKED HER ABOUT HIM,
SHE CLAMMED UP.

WELL, IT'S TOUGH TO TALK TO KIDS
ABOUT THIS STUFF.

IT TOOK ME YEARS TO DEVELOP THE SKILLS

TO CREATE A PROTECTED ENVIRONMENT
WHERE KIDS CAN FEEL SAFE.

TRUST ME, I KNOW HOW TO GET
RETICENT KIDS TO OPEN UP.

-NO.
-REALLY?

-NO.
-REALLY?

IF YOUR MOM ASKS,
YOU OPENED UP AND TOLD ME EVERYTHING.

-REALLY?
-NO.

Stan: SO AVERY HAS HER FIRST CRUSH.

I JUST GOT OVER A CRAZY CRUSH
ON A FRENCH POODLE

A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.

I WAS SO OBSESSED,
I CONSIDERED GETTING THE SAME HAIRCUT.

( theme music playing )

I BELIEVE MY CASTLE
HAS PUT YOUR KING IN DANGER.

YEAH, IN REGULAR BORING CHESS.

BUT IN CHLOE CHESS,

CASTLES CAN'T MOVE WITHOUT PERMISSION
FROM THE CITY.

DO YOU HAVE PERMISSION FROM THE CITY?

NO.

LUCKILY I DO!

YOUR TURN.

HA HA! THERE! I GOT ONE OF YOUR PAWNS.

THAT SPACE HAS A BOOBY TRAP ON IT.

-( imitates explosions )
-HEY!

( imitates explosions )

AVERY. IS YOUR DUSTIN HERE?

NOT YET, BUT HE ALWAYS
RIDES HIS BIKE HERE AFTER SCHOOL.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MEETING ME.

I REALLY NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE
WHO UNDERSTANDS BOYS.

DON'T WORRY.
I WILL HELP MAKE HIM YOUR "DUSTINY."

( laughing ) I INVENTED
AMERICAN-STYLE JOKE!

IF HIS NAME WAS GEORGE,
THAT WOULD NOT HAVE WORKED.

OOH OOH! THERE HE IS!

THAT'S DUSTIN.

-WHICH ONE?
-THERE.

Stan: DUSTIN PITT. AVERY THINKS HE'S CUTE,
BUT WOULDN'T HE LOOK BETTER LIKE THIS?

( music playing )

HEY, NIKKI, WHAT'S UP?

IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF DOWN.

( laughing )
I LOVE THE AMERICAN JOKE STYLE!

IF YOU HAD SAID "HOW'S IT GOING?"
THAT WOULD NOT HAVE WORKED.

YOU'RE HILARIOUS, AND SO GOOD LOOKING.
IT'S LIKE WE'RE THE SAME PERSON.

SO, UH, WANNA HANG OUT SOME TIME?

TYLER, NIKKI'S HELPING ME WITH SOMETHING
THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. NOT NOW.

COOL. WHAT CAN NIKKI
AND I HELP YOU WITH?

LET ME TALK TO NIKKI,
AND THEN YOU CAN MEET HER

AT THE BROGURT SHOP
ON WHITMAN AVENUE.

-SHE'S HEADING THERE IN A MINUTE.
-SWEET! SEE YOU.

BUT I AM NOT GETTING "BROGURT"
ON WHITMAN AVENUE.

AND NEITHER IS HE.

THERE'S NO BROGURT SHOP
ON WHITMAN AVENUE.

THERE'S NO WHITMAN AVENUE...
AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BROGURT!

HEY, YOU'RE AVERY, RIGHT?

FROM MR. HAWORTH'S CLASS?

( whooshes )

YOU KNOW TYLER JAMES?

( silly giggle )

UH, HE IS HER BROTHER.

NO WAY! TYLER'S AN AMAZING RIDER.
HE'S, LIKE, MY IDOL.

WHAAA!

UH, AVERY, WEREN'T YOU AND TYLER GOING
TO HANG OUT AT YOUR HOUSE TOMORROW?

-MAYBE DUSTIN COULD HANG OUT, TOO.
-YEAH, THAT'D BE AWESOME.

( clicks tongue )

GREAT. AVERY WILL SEE YOU THEN.

YAY!

BUT WAIT, I WAS SO NERVOUS
AND TONGUE-TIED.

DID I JUST MAKE A COMPLETE
FOOL OUT OF MYSELF?

I THOUGHT SO,
BUT HE DIDN'T SEEM TO NOTICE!

( music playing )

THERE'S NO BROGURT SHOP
ON WHITMAN AVENUE.

THERE IS NO WHITMAN AVENUE.
AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "BROGURT."

I'M REALLY SORRY.

YOU SHOULD BE. I JUST RODE 37 MILES

SCREAMING THE WORD "BROGURT"
AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

I'LL LET YOU HANG OUT
WITH DUSTIN AND ME TOMORROW.

-THERE'LL BE BROGURT.
-REALLY? STOP THAT!

I'M NOT HANGING OUT
WITH SOME 6th-GRADE DWEEB.

PLEASE, JUST HANG OUT WITH DUSTIN AND
ME WHEN HE COMES OVER TOMORROW.

HE REALLY LOOKS UP TO YOU.

GIVE ME ONE HOUR. I'LL DO ANYTHING.

FINE, BUT YOU'VE GOT
TO MAKE NIKKI LOVE ME.

I'M SMALL. I'M NOT MAGICAL.

OKAY, JUST FIND OUT
WHAT NIKKI LOOKS FOR IN GUYS.

AND DON'T TELL ME TO MEET HER
AT SOME "BONUT" SHOP ON FAKE STREET.

DID I HEAR SOMEONE MENTION "BONUTS"?

IF IT'S HALF-BONE, HALF-DONUT,
I'LL TAKE A DOZEN LIVER-FILLED.

AND IF IT ISN'T, IT'S JUST A CRUEL JOKE.

SHE WON'T TALK TO ME.

I'VE BEEN THROUGH HER DECOY DIARY,
HER REAL DIARY, HER COMPUTER.

I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WON'T TRUST ME.

HONEY, YOU'RE GOING OVERBOARD ON THIS
DUSTIN THING.

IT'S A SCHOOLGIRL CRUSH. LET'S JUST
GIVE AVERY SOME SPACE ON THIS.

SHE'S MY LITTLE BABY, BENNETT.

I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIMES SHE CALLED
ME "THAT PRYING SNOOP" IN HER DIARY.

FORTY-TWO. IT WAS VERY HURTFUL.

HONEY, I'M SORRY TO BE
THE LECTURER HERE,

BUT IF YOU DON'T
WANT YOUR FEELINGS HURT,

YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE
POKING AROUND

IN OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVATE BUSINESS.

YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU WERE
IN THE SEVENTH GRADE...

AND YOU SNOOPED ON THOSE GIRLS

AND YOU HEARD THEM
CALL YOU "CHICKEN LEGS."

-YOU READ MY DIARY?
-WILD GUESS TO MAKE A POINT.

HEY, BUT YOU GREW OUT OF IT, HUH?
LOOK AT THOSE BIG, MEATY BUFFALO LEGS.

NOT MAKING IT BETTER, AM I?

EVER BEEN KICKED BY A BUFFALO?

HA HA HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, GET OUT OF THIS ONE!

CHLOE RULE TEN--

A GIANT ARM FROM THE SKY
HAS WIPED OUT YOUR PIECES.

I WIN!

THIS IS THE WORST GAME EVER. I AM DONE!

Avery: STAN, COME HERE, BOY!

ON SECOND THOUGHT, SET 'EM UP.

BUT AVERY JUST CALLED YOU.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SPENDING
MUCH TIME WITH HER LATELY.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

OH, THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON,
BUT IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

NOW, ARE WE GONNA PLAY, OR WHAT?

TOO LATE. YOU LOSE AGAIN.

WHILE YOU WERE TALKING, I TIED YOUR KING
TO THE BALLOON OF DOOM!

( music playing )

OH, UH, HEY, MOM.

I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD
HAVE A FRIEND OVER FROM SCHOOL LATER.

OH! A FRIEND FROM SCHOOL? IS IT LINDSAY?

NO, SHE'S OUT OF TOWN.

SARAH? HEATHER? SHONDRA?
LAURIE? KIMI? RACHEL? CARLA? LUPE?

XING XAO RUBINSTEIN?

NO, IT'S ACTUALLY DUSTIN.

REALLY? HOW NICE.

SHE'S CONFIDING IN ME! SHE'S SHARING!

WHAT DO I SAY? WHAT DO I SAY?

WHAT WOULD XING XAO RUBINSTEIN'S
MOTHER SAY?

SO... ANYTHING YOU NEED HELP WITH?

Avery: MAYBE I SHOULD TALK TO HER.
MAYBE SHE CAN HELP.

OHH! NOT THE DESPERATE HELP FACE.

UH... NAH. I DON'T THINK I NEED ANY HELP.

Ellen: OH, NO. SHE'S SHUTTING DOWN.

SHE'S DOING THE CLAMMING-UP FACE.

SHE HATES ME. I'M REPEATING
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY OWN MOTHER.

WELL... YOU TWO HAVE FUN.

Avery: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN?
WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LIKE ME?

DID MY KNEES GET BIGGER?

OH, I HAVE REALLY, REALLY BIG KNEES!

Ellen: WHY AM I WORRYING?

SHE SEEMS FINE,
LIKE SHE'S DONE THIS BEFORE.

MAYBE SHE'S HAD OTHER BOYFRIENDS.

DID I MISS A DIARY?

ANYWAY, IF YOU WANT TO CHAT,
I'M ALWAYS AROUND.

Avery: YEAH, YOU SHOULD
REALLY GET OUT MORE.

( music playing )

OH, GOOD. YOU'RE HERE.
I AM SO NERVOUS. DUSTIN'S COMING OVER,

AND I'M REALLY HOPING
THAT AFTER WE HANG OUT TODAY,

HE'LL BE MY BOYFRIEND,
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

IS MY HAIR ALL RIGHT?
HOW MUCH EYE CONTACT IS TOO MUCH?

IS THIS TOO MUCH? IS THIS TOO MUCH?
HOW 'BOUT THIS?

IS THAT YOUR BREATH OR MINE?
OH, I REALLY HOPE IT'S YOURS.

YOU LOOK GREAT. I GOTTA GO.
CHLOE CHESS. HAVE A MINT TO BE SAFE.

WAIT, STAN, I NEED YOUR HELP.

OH, FINALLY, YOU'RE HERE.
DUSTIN'S ON HIS WAY.

OH, RIGHT. THE 6th-GRADE DWEEB.
DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO THIS?

IF YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU WITH NIKKI.

ONE HOUR. WE HAD A DEAL.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

( doorbell rings )

THAT'S DUSTIN!
LET HIM IN BEFORE HE LEAVES!

HEY, NIKKI.

TYLER, I WAITED FOR YOU
AT THE BROGURT SHOP.

WHERE WERE YOU?

I KNOW YOU'RE TEASING ME.

ARE YOU SURE?

NO.

I CAME TO SEE IF YOU NEED HELP
BECAUSE YOUR DUSTIN IS COMING OVER.

THANK GOODNESS. I AM SO NERVOUS.
NIKKI, WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?

MY BROTHER DIDN'T FALL, HE WAS PUSHED.

I MEANT FOR ATTRACTING BOYS.

OH. ( titters ) FORGET THAT OTHER THING.

-( doorbell rings )
-( gasps )

WE'LL GET THE DOOR,

YOU KEEP HIM WAITING FOR A FEW
SECONDS, AND THEN MAKE A BIG ENTRANCE.

OH, GOOD IDEA. OH, I'M SO NERVOUS!

YOU'RE TYLER JAMES!

MY FRIENDS AND ME,
WE WATCH YOU RIDE ALL THE TIME.

YOU ARE AWESOME!

THANKS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE.

THAT IS SO COOL!

AVERY, COME ON.

I THINK YOU SHOULD HANG OUT WITH HER.

( low voice ) OKAY.

OH! IS THAT YOU, DUSTIN? HI.

WELL! ( gasps )THAT WAS WEIRD.

( chuckles ) THERE SHE IS!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, YEAH. ( giggles )
I ALWAYS COME DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE THAT.

IT WAS HILARIOUS.

AND YOU DIDN'T, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
CRY OR ANYTHING.

NO. WANT TO REAL BAD, BUT, UH, NO.

-DUSTIN, SIT ON THE COUCH.
-WHATEVER YOU SAY, TYLER.

WELL, I'D BETTER GO.

I'LL BE BACK LATER
TO FIND OUT HOW IT WENT.

OW! OW! OW!

BYE, TYLER.

UH, I HOPE IT'S OKAY
THAT I TEASE YOU LIKE THAT.

IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN. ( chuckles )

DID YOU HEAR THAT? SHE LOVES
WHEN WE FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER!

NO, I DIDN'T HEAR THAT.

I OUGHT TO GO HANG OUT WITH HER, OKAY?
TELL ME WHAT SHE LIKES IN GUYS.

UM, NO.

THE DEAL WAS, YOU HANG OUT
HERE WITH ME AND DUSTIN.

I DID. FOR AN HOUR.
YOU'RE BREAKING THE DEAL.

I DON'T CARE.
YOU GIVE ME THE INFORMATION ABOUT NIKKI,

OR I TELL DUSTIN YOU'RE A LOSER.

HE'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING I SAY.

OKAY. FINE.

NIKKI LIKES GUYS WHO REMIND HER
OF HER GRANDFATHER.

SHE SENT ME A PICTURE OF HIM. HERE HE IS.

I'LL SEND IT TO YOU SO YOU DON'T FORGET.

THIS IS GONNA BE SO USEFUL!

WHA-- WHERE'D TYLER GO?

OH, UH, HE LEFT,
BUT HE WANTS YOU TO STAY.

OH, OKAY.

SO, DO YOU WANT SOME POPCORN?

POPCORN! DRINKS!

AVERY'S MOM.
I'VE HEARD SO LITTLE ABOUT YOU.

NO TATTOOS. NO PIERCINGS.
WELL-GROOMED. OKAY!

( music playing )

-SO I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
-YEAH, SEE YOU AT SCHOOL.

THANK YOUR MOM FOR
ALL OF THAT POPCORN.

YEAH, OKAY.

( clicks tongue )

( music playing )

SO?

HOW DID IT GO?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE WITH A BOY
AND IT ENDS

AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT WENT
OR HOW HE FEELS

OR WHERE YOU STAND?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

( music playing )

SO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T
KNOW HOW IT WENT WITH DUSTIN?

-WHAT HAPPENED?
-ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN.

WE WATCHED A MOVIE, AND AT A FUNNY PART,
HE LAUGHED AND PUNCHED ME IN THE ARM.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WAS IT AN EXCUSE TO TOUCH ME?

WAS HE TREATING ME LIKE A BUDDY?

WAS HE TRYING TO DISTRACT ME FROM A FART?

THEN WE WATCHED THE MOVIE FOR A LONG TIME
WHERE NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED,

SO WE'LL JUST SKIP OVER THAT PART.

THEN I YAWNED, AND HE DIDN'T.

Nikki: YOU WERE BORED?

NO, BUT I HAPPEN TO KNOW OF A UNIVERSITY
OF PISA STUDY

SHOWING THAT YAWNING
IS CONTAGIOUS AMONG PEOPLE

WHO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.

I WANTED TO SEE IF HE FEELS
AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.

HE FEELS NO EMOTIONAL CONNECTION!

NOW ALL THIS TALK
ABOUT CONNECTING WITH YAWNING

IS MAKING ME WANT TO YAWN.

( yawns )

( yawns )

Both: AWWW!

WELL, THEN HE LEFT.

YOU KNOW, I WAS HOPING THAT AFTER
TODAY HE'D BE MY BOYFRIEND,

BUT NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE ARE.

( both sneeze )

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I THINK WE'RE GETTING A COLD.

Both: AWWW!

Tyler: HELLO!

TYLER, YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!
WHAT IS THAT?

WHAT, I DON'T LOOK LIKE
YOUR GRANDFATHER?

NO, AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO?

HE WAS FOUR-FOOT-NINE WITH T. REX ARMS
AND EARS THE SIZE OF TAMBOURINES.

AVERY TOLD ME YOU LIKE GUYS
WHO REMIND YOU OF YOUR GRANDFATHER.

SHE SHOWED ME THIS PICTURE.

THAT'S AMBROSE BURNSIDE,

THE UNION GENERAL FROM AVERY'S REPORT.

I THINK SHE WAS MESSING WITH YOU.

OH, I WAS JUST TRYING THIS ON
TO SEE IF YOU'D LIKE IT.

GOOD THINK I DIDN'T SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE GROWING ONE!

OW. OW! IT'S STUCK!

I USED THIS GLUE SO IT WOULDN'T FALL OFF.

( comical shriek )

YOU USED THAT? THAT NEVER COMES OFF.

WHY DOESN'T IT SAY THAT ON THE BOTTLE?

IT DOES.

WHAT'S THE ANTIDOTE?

MORE EDUCATION?

-HEY, DAD.
-SON.

Tyler: THAT'S WEIRD.
HE'S NOT MENTIONING THE CRAZY FACIAL HAIR.

Bennett: I WONDER WHAT'S UP
WITH THE CRAZY FACIAL HAIR.

SOMETHING TELLS ME I DON'T WANNA KNOW.

SO, TYLER, DO YOU KNOW
HOW IT WENT WITH AVERY AND HER FRIEND?

NO, I REALLY DON'T.

Tyler: HE'S SO CONCERNED ABOUT AVERY

THAT HE DOESN'T CARE I'VE GOT
THIS MONKEY BUTT GLUED TO MY FACE!

Bennett: HAS HE HAD THAT A LONG TIME
AND I JUST DIDN'T NOTICE?

-OH, HEY, STAN.
-OH, YOU'RE BACK! WOW!

LOOK AT THE TIME. GOTTA GET GOIN'.

STAN, STOP.

GOTTA GO PLAY SOME CHLOE CHESS.

I JUST CAN'T GET
THAT MONKEY OFF MY BACK.

UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S
ONE OF HER NEW RULES--

SHE MAKES ME WEAR
A MONKEY ON MY BACK.

WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME?

I DO TALK TO YOU. I'M TALKING NOW,
AND THAT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE FOR A DOG.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, OPERA?

YOU'RE AVOIDING ME.

( singing Italian opera )

STAN, I JUST--

( singing Italian opera )

GOTTA GO. CIAO.

SIT. STAY.

OH, YOU DID NOT JUST PUT ME IN A SIT-STAY.

WELL, YOU LEFT ME NO CHOICE.

YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME,
AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY.

I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH SO MUCH,
AND NO ONE'S BEEN ABLE TO HELP ME.

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, STAN.

I NEED YOU.

FINE. YES, I'M AVOIDING YOU,
BUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE I DON'T CARE.

IT'S BECAUSE I DO CARE.

WHAT?

LOOK, I LOVE HELPING YOU.
I WANT TO HELP YOU.

BUT I'VE BEEN AVOIDING YOU BECAUSE...

I'M AFRAID OF LETTING YOU DOWN.

STAN, YOU NEVER LET ME DOWN.

YEAH, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS,

WITH ALL THE GUESSING AND
THE WORRYING AND THE YAWNING?

I MEAN, DOGS, WE--

WE DON'T SIT AROUND WONDERING
IF ANOTHER DOG LIKES US.

WE KEEP IT SIMPLE. WE GO FOR IT.

I'M SORRY, AVERY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

YES, STAN.

AS USUAL, YOU DO.

REALLY? ( sighs )I'M SO HAPPY!

( singing Italian opera )

HEY, AVERY.
YOU WANTED TO MEET ME BEFORE SCHOOL?

OH, YEAH.

I HAD A GREAT TIME YESTERDAY.

YEAH. IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE,

AND IT WAS HILARIOUS
WHEN YOU FEEL DOWN THE STAIRS!

SO... WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

UH, HERE'S THE THING.

OH, THIS IS WAY HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.

HOW DO I TELL HIM I LIKE HIM?

I'M SO NERVOUS,
MY GIANT KNEES ARE SHAKING.

NO, STAN IS RIGHT.
KEEP IT SIMPLE AND GO FOR IT.

-DUSTIN, I LIKE YOU, AND--
-COOL.

I LIKE YOU, TOO.
YOU WANNA BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

YEAH, AND I, UH, I WANTED TO SAY THAT--

WAIT, WHAT?

I LIKE YOU. YOU'RE AWESOME.

YOU WANNA BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

UH... YES. YES, I DO. ( chuckles )

COOL.

( both imitating explosions )

Dustin: YES!
AVERY JENNINGS IS MY GIRLFRIEND!

SEE YOU AT SCHOOL.

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. BE COOL.

I'M COOL. I'M ALWAYS COOL.

IF HE HURTS MY LITTLE GIRL,
I'M GONNA TWIST HIM INTO A PRETZEL.

OH, A PRETZEL WOULD BE GREAT RIGHT NOW!

Stan: IT WAS GREAT TO HELP MY BEST FRIEND
FIGURE OUT THE RULES OF LOVE.

SPEAKING OF LOVE,
I STARTED THINKING ABOUT THAT POODLE

AS I WAS FLIPPING THROUGH
AVERY'S HISTORY BOOK.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

( music playing )

Stan: JULIUS CAESAR.

( music playing )

Stan: SACAGAWEA.

( music playing )

Stan: SECRETARIAT.

( bugle playing )

Stan: YEP, EVERYBODY LOOKS
BETTER WITH A POODLE-DO.

OH, HEY, NIKKI, WHAT'S UP?

YOU STILL CAN'T GET THAT OFF?

NO, SO I DECIDED TO PUT ON THIS UNIFORM

AND PRETEND IT WAS ALL
PART OF A SCHOOL PROJECT.

THAT'S VERY SMART.

REALLY? YOU THINK SO?

WELL, FOR A BOY WHO THOUGHT MY
GRANDFATHER WAS A CIVIL WAR GENERAL

AND PERMANENTLY GLUED
HAIR TO HIS FACE,

ANYTHING IS SMART.

THANK YOU.

THE WEIRD THING IS, IT'S KIND OF CAUGHT ON

WITH SOME OF THE YOUNGER KIDS
WHO LOOK UP TO ME.

HEY, TYLER.

( closing theme music playing )

I WIN!

I WIN!

BOOP! I WIN!

HEY, THAT'S CHLOE CHESS.
I DIDN'T MAKE THE RULES.

YES, I DID.

( laughing )