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1
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:07,246
I KNOW I INVITED YOU OVER TO STUDY, BUT...
2
00:00:08,458 --> 00:00:11,078
I THINK WE BOTH KNOW
THE TEST WAS YESTERDAY.
3
00:00:11,166 --> 00:00:14,036
-ISN'T THE TEST TOMORROW?
-SHH.
4
00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:16,042
Stan: THIS IS TYLER JAMES.
5
00:00:16,125 --> 00:00:19,325
NOW THAT IS THE FACE OF A SMOOTH PLAYER.
6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,330
WELL, NOT THAT FACE.
7
00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:24,923
OH, YEAH, THERE'S THE SUGAR!
8
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:28,752
WHOA. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
9
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:31,424
I HAVE THE FAMILY ROOM FROM 3:00 TO 6:00,
10
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:34,330
AS PER THE SIGN UP SHEET
I POSTED, SO GET...
11
00:00:34,417 --> 00:00:37,537
Stan: AVERY JENNINGS. TYLER'S STEPSISTER.
12
00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:39,705
UH, KIND OF A PSYCHO ABOUT RULES.
13
00:00:39,792 --> 00:00:41,712
SHE EVEN HAS A RULE
ABOUT NOT INTERRUPTING HER,
14
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,042
SO LET'S KEEP IT MOVING.
15
00:00:43,125 --> 00:00:44,075
...OUT OF HERE,
16
00:00:44,166 --> 00:00:45,666
OR I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE
YOU'RE WEARING A WIG.
17
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:47,080
I'M NOT WEARING A WIG.
18
00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:50,245
OW! I TOLD YOU, IT'S NOT A WIG!
19
00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:51,753
I KNOW, BUT THAT HURT, RIGHT?
20
00:00:53,083 --> 00:00:55,633
WOULD YOU JUST GET OUT OF HERE?
THIS IS MY HOUSE.
21
00:00:55,709 --> 00:00:57,749
YOU AND YOUR MOM HAVE ONLY
BEEN HERE FOR, LIKE, A YEAR.
22
00:00:57,834 --> 00:01:01,884
ELEVEN MONTHS, FOURTEEN DAYS,
SIX HOURS, TEN MINUTES,
23
00:01:01,959 --> 00:01:05,289
THREE SECONDS,
FOUR SECONDS, FIVE SECONDS...
24
00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:07,035
OOH, NUMBERS.
25
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,460
LIKE I TOLD MY ALGEBRA TEACHER,
26
00:01:09,542 --> 00:01:12,672
A PLUS B EQUALS "WHY SHOULD I CARE?"
27
00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:16,037
DO YOU THINK THAT
WILL BE ON THE TEST TOMORROW?
28
00:01:17,583 --> 00:01:21,253
OKAY, YOU TWO CONTINUE THIS
HIGH-LEVEL EXCHANGE OF IDEAS...
29
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,706
AND I'LL GET THE ROOM ON TUESDAY.
30
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,582
TUESDAY? NO WAY.
31
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:30,127
THE CHEERLEADERS ARE COMING OVER
TO AUDITION FOR MY SHOW.
32
00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:32,250
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS
TO CONVINCE THEM THAT
33
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:35,133
I'M DIRECTING A NEW PLAY
CALLED HOMESCHOOL MUSICAL?
34
00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,627
DO THAT AGAIN! I HEARD THE OCEAN!
35
00:01:40,291 --> 00:01:42,881
WAS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO CONVINCE THEM?
36
00:01:43,875 --> 00:01:46,245
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEXT TUESDAY
THAT'S SO IMPORTANT ANYWAY?
37
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:49,673
MY STUDENT TOLERANCE CLUB
HAS A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING.
38
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,750
WE'RE PLANNING A RALLY IN SUPPORT
OF THE PALE KID
39
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,174
WHO SMELLS LIKE PIZZA DOUGH.
40
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:56,745
SOUNDS LIKE A STORM!
41
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,670
LOOK, MY MEETING IS HAPPENING.
42
00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:04,130
IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'LL GET TO HAVE FRIENDS OVER
43
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:07,208
SINCE MY MOM MARRIED YOUR DAD
AND RUINED MY LIFE.
44
00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:08,421
YOUR LIFE IS RUINED?
45
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:11,250
SINCE YOU MOVED IN, THERE ARE SIGN UP
SHEETS EVERYWHERE.
46
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:14,583
THERE'S A SIGN UP SHEET IN THE BATHROOM.
WHO CAN TIME THAT?
47
00:02:15,291 --> 00:02:18,501
EVERY DAY AT 8:00 AND 4:30.
WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT?
48
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:20,253
( both continue arguing )
49
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,881
I KNOW YOU SAID BE PATIENT
50
00:02:22,959 --> 00:02:25,249
AND EVENTUALLY WE'D COME
TOGETHER AS A REAL FAMILY,
51
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:27,673
BUT THOSE TWO WILL NOT STOP GOING AT IT!
52
00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:29,500
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I'M GONNA GO IN THERE
AND SET THEM STRAIGHT.
53
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,293
-THEY NEED TO KNOW--
-SHH!
54
00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:33,997
ARE YOU FOND OF THAT FINGER?
55
00:02:35,917 --> 00:02:37,707
HONEY, WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS.
56
00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:40,332
INTERVENING AT THIS POINT
WOULD NOT BE A GOOD IDEA.
57
00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:44,207
Both: SIBLINGS MUST DEVELOP THEIR OWN
TOOLS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION.
58
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,710
IT'S ALL HERE IN
THE FOREMOST GUIDE TO PARENTING,
59
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:52,502
WRITTEN BY A MAN REFERRED TO
AS THE BRIGHTEST MIND IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY.
60
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:56,995
DADDY! DADDY!
61
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,633
Stan: THAT'S CHLOE.
62
00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,669
THEY SAY PSYCHOLOGISTS' KIDS
ARE MESSED UP,
63
00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:01,960
BUT SHE'S DOING OKAY.
64
00:03:02,041 --> 00:03:04,581
THERE'S A MONSTER CHASING ME!
65
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:07,287
Stan: I SAID "OKAY," NOT "GREAT."
66
00:03:08,792 --> 00:03:12,132
UM, CHLOE, SWEETIE, LISTEN...
67
00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:16,957
THERE IS SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT THAT
I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
68
00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:21,245
-( roars )
-( screaming )
69
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,583
AND NOW SHE'S NOT WORRIED
ABOUT THE MONSTERS.
70
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,080
AS FOR THOSE TWO,
71
00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:29,166
I HAVE A PLAN THAT WILL BE
EQUALLY EFFECTIVE.
72
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,210
( screaming )
73
00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:36,415
KIDS, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
74
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,708
( all exclaim )
75
00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:41,998
HIS NAME IS STAN.
76
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,673
HE'S A RESCUE FROM THE SHELTER.
77
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,500
( all exclaim )
78
00:03:45,583 --> 00:03:48,883
Stan: HEY, LOOK, IT'S ME! I'M THE DOG!
79
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,080
THERE'S THE SUGAR!
80
00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:55,792
THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A DOG!
81
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,245
MOM WOULD NEVER LET ME GET ONE.
82
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,293
I DIDN'T SAY "NEVER."
83
00:03:59,375 --> 00:04:01,075
I SAID "NEVER-WEVER"
BECAUSE YOU WERE THREE
84
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:02,206
AND IT TOOK THE EDGE OFF.
85
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,207
YOU KNOW I'M A CAT PERSON.
86
00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:09,291
Stan: ELLEN JENNINGS. I THINK WE ALL KNOW
WHOSE SLIPPERS I'LL BE EATING FIRST.
87
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,210
OH, THIS IS SUCH AN AWESOME SURPRISE!
88
00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:16,461
YEAH. ( chuckles )
IT'S A SURPRISE FOR ALL OF US!
89
00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:19,746
LOOK, YOU WOULDN'T BE SO SURPRISED
90
00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,004
IF YOU JUST READ CHAPTER NINE IN MY BOOK.
91
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:25,633
HONEY, NOBODY'S GOTTEN
TO CHAPTER NINE IN YOUR BOOK.
92
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,377
WATCH THE GENIUS OF THIS.
93
00:04:29,458 --> 00:04:32,708
( clears throat ) NOW, KIDS,
THIS DOG IS FOR ALL OF YOU.
94
00:04:32,792 --> 00:04:35,832
SO YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO
WORK TOGETHER TO TAKE CARE OF HIM,
95
00:04:35,917 --> 00:04:37,287
OR YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM.
96
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,710
Stan: BENNETT JAMES.
A LITTLE FULL OF HIMSELF.
97
00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:42,882
SNIFFED HIS BUTT, NOT IMPRESSED.
98
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:46,173
I GUESS A DOG COULD BE KIND OF FUN.
99
00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:48,037
FETCH.
100
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,290
( all laugh )
101
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,625
YEAH, IT'S CUTE UNTIL SHE CHASES A CAR.
102
00:04:56,333 --> 00:05:00,833
AND THAT'S THE STORY OF HOW...
THE KIDS FOUND OUT I COULD TALK.
103
00:05:01,583 --> 00:05:04,463
NO, WAIT. I DIDN'T GET
TO THAT PART OF MY BLOG YET.
104
00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:07,132
I'LL DO THAT AFTER MY NEW PRODUCT REVIEW.
105
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,078
HUH, SMELLS LIKE RUBBER,
TASTES LIKE RUBBER...
106
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,456
-( squeaks )
-WHOA, IT SQUEAKS!
107
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:16,042
I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!
108
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:18,125
โชโช
109
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:38,131
WHY ARE YOU SITTING IN MY CHAIR?
WHERE'S MY SANDWICH?
110
00:05:38,208 --> 00:05:40,248
THERE WAS A TURKEY SANDWICH
RIGHT HERE ON THIS PLATE,
111
00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:41,383
AND NOW IT'S GONE.
112
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:44,790
YOU ATE IT, DIDN'T YOU?
113
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:48,575
YOU SANDWICH-EATING, SLIPPER-STEALING,
DIRTY, ROTTEN--
114
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:50,077
-MOM.
-WHAT? NO. WHAT?
115
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:53,036
ARE YOU TALKING TO THE DOG?
116
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:56,082
LOOK, I DON'T LIKE HIM, AND HE KNOWS THAT.
117
00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:58,246
AND HE'S STEALING FROM ME.
HE ATE MY SANDWICH.
118
00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:01,293
AND THERE'S FIVE DOLLARS
MISSING FROM MY PURSE.
119
00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:02,995
IS THAT A NEW COLLAR?
WHERE'D HE GET THAT COLLAR?
120
00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:06,501
IT'S THE SAME COLLAR HE'S ALWAYS HAD.
121
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:10,673
OKAY, OKAY. MAYBE I OVERREACTED.
122
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:13,670
YOU THINK YOU CAN GET THE BEST OF ME?
I HAVE THUMBS. ( clicks tongue )
123
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:19,958
DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER, STAN.
WHO'S MY BOY? WHO'S MY BOY?
124
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:23,381
Stan: I'M YOUR BOY! I'M YOUR BOY!
125
00:06:24,208 --> 00:06:26,918
WHAT AM I GONNA DO, STAN?
MY MEETING IS TONIGHT.
126
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,130
AND TYLER'S STILL HAVING
HIS CHEERLEADERS OVER.
127
00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:32,288
Stan: OH, PLEASE BE GETTING DOG FOOD!
PLEASE BE GETTING DOG FOOD!
128
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,170
YES!
129
00:06:35,208 --> 00:06:37,708
I'VE HAD NOTHING TO EAT SINCE THAT
TURKEY SANDWICH I HAD YESTERDAY--
130
00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:40,832
OR A FEW MINUTES AGO.
I HAVE NO CONCEPT OF TIME.
131
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:45,543
IF I CANCEL,
THE STUDENT TOLERANCE CLUB WILL HATE ME.
132
00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:48,825
DON'T LET THE NAME FOOL YOU.
THOSE KIDS ARE VICIOUS!
133
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:52,745
Stan: WELL, I WISH I COULD
JUST ASK FOR THE FOOD,
134
00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:55,794
BUT ME TALKING, NO, NO,
THAT DOESN'T ALWAYS GO SO WELL.
135
00:06:56,375 --> 00:07:00,325
DON'T TAKE ME AWAY! I'M NOT CRAZY!
MY DOG CAN REALLY TALK!
136
00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:02,377
DOG, SAY SOMETHING!
137
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:05,288
OH, TELL THEM THAT JOKE YOU TOLD ME!
138
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:09,503
SORRY, I HAD A MOUTHFUL OF PEANUT BUTTER!
139
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,416
SOMEHOW I ALWAYS END UP
BACK AT THE SHELTER.
140
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,170
BUT I WANT THIS TIME TO BE DIFFERENT.
141
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,580
I-I WANNA BE A FULL MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.
142
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:19,997
I'LL TELL THEM EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING!
143
00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:21,833
WHEN I KNOW I CAN TRUST THEM.
144
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:25,667
YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY GLAD
YOU'RE HERE, STAN.
145
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,710
I FINALLY HAVE SOMEBODY IN THE FAMILY
I CAN ACTUALLY TALK TO.
146
00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:31,292
Stan: AW, YOU'RE A GOOD KID.
147
00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:34,205
NOW BE A GREAT KID AND HIT ME
WITH SOME KIBBLE, HUH?
148
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:39,080
OKAY, AVERY, I WORKED OUT
A COMPROMISE FOR TONIGHT.
149
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:40,786
I GET TO HAVE MY CHEERLEADERS OVER,
150
00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:44,495
AND YOU GET TO HEAR WHAT FUN SOUND LIKE
FROM BEHIND YOUR CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR.
151
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,884
YOU'RE WELCOME.
152
00:07:47,959 --> 00:07:50,129
YOU JUST ATE DOG FOOD. YOU'RE WELCOME.
153
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,248
-( spitting )
-( laughs )
154
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:57,043
Stan: OH, THE BACON-FLAVOR SPRAY.
I LOVE THE BACON-FLAVOR SPRAY!
155
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:59,035
ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT TOGETHER, MAN.
156
00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:02,495
DON'T TALK. JUST KEEP IT COOL, BABY.
157
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:06,077
LOOK, I GET THE FAMILY ROOM.
IT'S IN THE HOUSE RULES.
158
00:08:06,917 --> 00:08:09,127
AND I SHOULD KNOW, I WROTE THEM.
159
00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:11,458
AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT,
YOU CAN TAKE IT UP
160
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,130
WITH THE CHAIRMAN
OF THE HOUSE RULES COMMITTEE--
161
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:14,998
RIGHT HERE.
162
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:19,879
GIVE ME THE STINKING FOOD!
I'M DROOLING A POOL OVER HERE!
163
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,380
DID HE JUST... TALK?
164
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,328
Stan: THINK FAST AND COVER QUICKLY.
165
00:08:27,417 --> 00:08:30,247
UH, NO. I MEAN, WOOF.
166
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,213
HE DID IT AGAIN!
167
00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:35,581
NO, I DIDN'T. I SAID "WOOF."
168
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,290
REALLY? STILL PROCESSING?
169
00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:51,246
WHAT KIND OF A DOG SAYS "PROCESSING"?
170
00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:53,503
WHAT KIND OF A DOG SAYS ANYTHING?
171
00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:55,535
HOW CAN YOU TALK?
172
00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:57,375
AH, IT'S A FREAK THING.
173
00:08:57,458 --> 00:09:00,538
IT'S LIKE A FIFTH PAW OR A--
OR A NINTH NIPPLE.
174
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,375
I WAS BORN THIS WAY. HOLD ON A SEC.
175
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,790
SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT I GOTTA DO.
176
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,383
( barking and growling )
177
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:12,958
SORRY.
178
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:19,495
WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT.
179
00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:22,333
I WAS BLOWING YOUR MINDS.
180
00:09:22,959 --> 00:09:26,039
I WASN'T GONNA TELL YOU YET,
'CAUSE IT ALWAYS MESSES THINGS UP.
181
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:33,498
WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT WHAT MAKES YOU TALK,
AND I'M GONNA BECOME RICH.
182
00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:36,083
HELP! HELP!
183
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:38,996
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I'M STILL A DOG.
184
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:42,503
( barking and growling )
185
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,790
OH, AND I'M TAKING
YOUR FRENCH POODLE WITH ME.
186
00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:48,995
WE HAVE KIND OF A THING GOING.
187
00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:53,457
PANTENE, PUT ON YOUR LITTLE SWEATER
AND MEET ME AT THE DOGGIE DOOR!
188
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:58,665
DON'T WORRY, BUDDY. WE'D NEVER LET ANYONE
DO SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS ON YOU.
189
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,250
-I LOVE YOU.
-AND I HATE SCIENCE.
190
00:10:02,291 --> 00:10:05,421
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I'VE BEEN WAITING
MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS.
191
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,210
I'M FINALLY PART OF A FAMILY.
192
00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:09,711
NO, BUT WE JUST CAN'T LET
MOM AND DAD FIND OUT.
193
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:13,502
I MEAN, DAD WOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT IT,
MOM WOULD FREAK,
194
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:16,083
AND DAD WOULD WRITE A BOOK
ABOUT MOM FREAKING.
195
00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:18,286
THERE'D BE FREAKING BOOKS EVERYWHERE!
196
00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:21,042
THIS IS AWESOME!
197
00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:24,035
AND TO CELEBRATE,
LET'S GET SNOUT-DEEP IN KIBBLE!
198
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:25,575
STAN CAN TALK.
199
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:27,922
STAN CAN TALK!
200
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,500
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, HE CAN'T.
201
00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:32,333
YOU'RE HAVING A DREAM
YOU'RE SLEEPWALKING. GO BACK TO BED.
202
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:35,665
OKAY.
203
00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:38,825
REALLY? YOU'RE BUYING THAT?
204
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:43,213
STAN CAN TALK! STAN CAN TALK!
STAN CAN TALK!
205
00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:46,961
OH, ISN'T THAT CUTE? CHLOE, YOU'VE GOT
AN ACTIVE IMAGINATION!
206
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:49,251
NO, HE TALKS LIKE A PERSON!
207
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:52,333
HE SAID, "LET'S GET SNOUT-DEEP IN KIBBLE!"
208
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:55,917
CHLOE, IT IS NOT OKAY TO LIE.
209
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,380
NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM.
THERE'S A PONY WAITING FOR YOU.
210
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,578
YAY!
211
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:04,041
NOW SHE'LL ASSOCIATE LYING
WITH DISAPPOINTMENT.
212
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,331
HONEY, I LOVE YOU, I RESPECT YOU.
213
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,877
I ASK YOU THIS ONLY AS A SUPPORTIVE WIFE--
214
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:12,039
DID YOU GET YOUR PhD ONLINE?
215
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,328
MAN, CHLOE ALMOST BLEW IT FOR US.
216
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:19,747
GOOD THING NO ONE BELIEVES A 42-YEAR-OLD.
217
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:21,294
SHE'S SIX.
218
00:11:21,375 --> 00:11:24,075
ALL RIGHT, I JUST DON'T GET
HOW YOU PEOPLE COUNT YEARS.
219
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:27,536
LOOK, THE IMPORTANT THING IS
THAT YOUR SECRET IS STILL SAFE.
220
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:30,915
-OH, I COULDN'T BEAR TO LOSE YOU, BUDDY.
-AW, THAT'S REAL NICE.
221
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,920
OH, BUT DON'T SQUEEZE TOO HARD,
I JUST DRANK A LOT OF WATER.
222
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,580
OH, TOO LATE. GOTTA GO DROWN SOME ANTS.
223
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:40,423
SO, COULDN'T BEAR TO LOSE HIM, HUH?
224
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,630
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
225
00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:44,079
EITHER I GET THE FAMILY ROOM TONIGHT
FOR MY CHEERLEADERS,
226
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:47,246
OR I TELL DAD STAN CAN TALK
AND CHLOE'S NOT A WACKO.
227
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,833
WHERE'S MY PONY?!
228
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,000
YOU WOULDN'T TELL DAD STAN CAN TALK.
229
00:11:52,083 --> 00:11:57,333
I HAVE 15 CHEERLEADERS COMING OVER.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF.
230
00:11:58,083 --> 00:12:00,173
YOU'RE BLUFFING.
YOU HAVE THAT DUMB LOOK ON YOUR FACE.
231
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:01,540
PROVES NOTHING. ( chuckles )
232
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,540
I ALWAYS HAVE THIS DUMB LOOK ON MY FACE.
233
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,791
Avery: I'M NOT BUYING IT.
234
00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:09,455
THEY'LL DO EXPERIMENTS ON STAN
AND WE'LL LOSE HIM.
235
00:12:09,542 --> 00:12:10,792
YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT.
236
00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:12,535
Tyler: ARE YOU WILLING
TO TAKE THAT CHANCE?
237
00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:15,495
GO AHEAD, TELL DAD STAN CAN TALK.
238
00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:18,043
I DON'T CARE. HE'S JUST A STUPID DOG.
239
00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:21,125
YOU CAN'T FOOL ME. YOU LOVE STAN.
240
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,458
I'M NOT TRYING TO FOOL YOU.
241
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,922
THIS ISN'T LIKE WHEN I CONVINCED YOU
242
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,330
PLANET OF THE APES
WAS BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
243
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:31,127
AND YOU KNOW, IF YOU SELL OUT STAN,
I'LL GET ANOTHER DOG.
244
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,498
( whimpers )
245
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:34,173
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
246
00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:38,746
( sighs ) I'M NOT GONNA TELL DAD.
247
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:41,174
I KNEW YOU WERE BLUFFING.
248
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:42,670
I DO LOVE STAN.
249
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:45,170
AND I KNEW YOU WERE BLUFFING
ABOUT PLANET OF THE APES.
250
00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:47,254
WAS I?
251
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,253
( making ape sounds )
252
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,582
MY PONY'S NOT OUT HERE.
253
00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:00,577
THERE IS NO PONY.
AND NOW THERE'S NO TALKING DOG.
254
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,207
AND NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE
CARES ABOUT ANYONE.
255
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:07,962
IN CARTOONS, TALKING ANIMALS ARE HAPPY!
256
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:14,285
( siren wails in distance )
257
00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:16,245
Stan: THEY TOLD ME
I WAS A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY,
258
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:17,753
AND I FELL FOR IT.
259
00:13:17,834 --> 00:13:21,134
BUT THEY'RE JUST LIKE
ALL THE OTHERS, SO I BOLTED.
260
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:23,538
ORIGINALLY I WAS JUST
GOING OUTSIDE TO CHILL,
261
00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:26,125
BUT A CAR DROVE BY AND I CHASED IT!
262
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,328
NOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM.
263
00:13:31,291 --> 00:13:33,211
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE RAN AWAY?
-HE DID THIS.
264
00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:42,165
I CAN'T BELIEVE STAN RAN AWAY.
HE MUST HAVE HEARD WHAT WE WERE SAYING.
265
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,880
YOU KNOW, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
266
00:13:44,959 --> 00:13:47,999
-YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA TELL DAD.
-YOU SAID HE WAS A STUPID DOG.
267
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,673
I ONLY SAID THAT BECAUSE YOU
WERE TRYING TO MANIPULATE ME.
268
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:52,460
I'VE LIVED IN THIS HOUSE FOR A YEAR NOW,
269
00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:54,752
AND YOU'VE DONE NOTHING
TO ACT LIKE A BROTHER TO ME.
270
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,504
AND NOW YOU'VE DRIVEN AWAY THE ONE THING
THAT I CARED ABOUT MOST.
271
00:13:57,583 --> 00:13:59,003
( crying )
272
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:02,213
( sighs ) OKAY. NO, NO, NO, NO, DON'T CRY.
273
00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:03,831
WE'LL GET HIM BACK.
274
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:06,497
I'LL TELL DAD AND HE CAN
DRIVE US AROUND AND THEN--
275
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,173
NO, YOU HEARD WHAT THEY SAID.
276
00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:10,540
IF WE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HIM,
WE CAN'T KEEP HIM.
277
00:14:11,709 --> 00:14:13,079
IT'S OBVIOUS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.
278
00:14:13,709 --> 00:14:15,669
FIND ANOTHER DOG
THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE STAN
279
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:16,830
AND TEACH HIM HOW TO TALK.
280
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,040
NO. WE HAVE TO FIND HIM OURSELVES.
281
00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:23,285
OKAY, IF YOU WANNA DO IT THE HARD WAY.
282
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,003
WHERE WOULD A RUNAWAY DOG WIND UP?
283
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:28,285
Both: THE SHELTER!
284
00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:31,705
HEY, DON'T TALK AT THE SAME TIME
LIKE WE'RE IN SYNC OR SOMETHING.
285
00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:33,042
'CAUSE WE'RE NOT.
286
00:14:33,709 --> 00:14:35,289
-Both: LET'S GO.
-STOP IT!
287
00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:39,628
( dogs barking )
288
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:41,999
I WISH I COULD HELP YOU, BUT SORRY.
289
00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:44,293
Stan: SOME GUY NAMED GLEN.
DON'T REALLY KNOW HIM. MOVING ON.
290
00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:50,246
I CAN'T RELEASE YOUR DOG UNTIL AN ADULT
PAYS FOR THE $500 IN DAMAGES HE CAUSED.
291
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:52,213
WAIT, WHAT DAMAGES? WHAT'D HE DO?
292
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:56,038
Stan: "ADOPT A POODLE"?
293
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:58,955
DON'T WORRY, LADIES.
I'M BUSTING YOU OUT OF HERE.
294
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:00,711
( barks )
295
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,960
( all barking )
296
00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:07,461
WAIT, COME BACK!
297
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:09,752
I'M ADOPTING YOU!
298
00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:13,459
WELL, CAN I AT LEAST
LEAVE HIS STUFF FOR HIM?
299
00:15:13,542 --> 00:15:16,582
WE BROUGHT HIS FAVORITE CHEW TOY
AND HIS BACON-FLAVORED SPRAY.
300
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,997
AW, YEAH... NO.
301
00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:22,211
JUST HAVE YOUR PARENTS
GIVE US A CALL AT THIS NUMBER,
302
00:15:22,291 --> 00:15:24,171
AND THEY CAN PAY THE FINE. EXCUSE ME.
303
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,575
OH, I GUESS HE DIDN'T GET ALONG
WITH YOUR OTHER DOGS. COME ON.
304
00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:30,207
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
305
00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:31,961
WAIT, NO, WE CAN'T!
306
00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,461
THE SIGN CLEARLY SAYS "NO ADMITTANCE"!
307
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,832
SOMETHING YOU'LL HEAR A LOT
WHEN YOU APPLY TO COLLEGE.
308
00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,665
HEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU.
309
00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:42,420
I'M GOING IN TO GET STAN.
COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT.
310
00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:50,245
SERIOUSLY?
311
00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:56,037
STAN!
312
00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:59,825
WELL, WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS. MY EX-PEOPLE.
313
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,997
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE,
BECAUSE IT IS OVER
314
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,003
AND I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN!
315
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:08,417
NO, WE DIDN'T MEAN THE THINGS WE SAID.
316
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,710
WE LOVE YOU, STAN.
317
00:16:09,792 --> 00:16:11,132
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
318
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,498
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT MORE
THAN EMPTY WORDS TO WIN ME OVER.
319
00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:15,923
I BROUGHT YOU YOUR FAVORITE TREAT.
320
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,290
I LOVE YOU! LET'S GO HOME!
321
00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:21,915
BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW
HOW TO GET BACK, RIGHT?
322
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,460
WAIT.
323
00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:25,959
HOME?
324
00:16:26,542 --> 00:16:28,542
MY STUDENT TOLERANCE CLUB?
325
00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:30,165
I NEVER CANCELLED.
326
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:32,665
I NEVER CANCELLED MY CHEERLEADERS.
327
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,671
ADOLESCENTS FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
IN GROUP SETTINGS.
328
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:45,710
TRUST ME, I'M AN EXPERT.
IT'S UP TO US TO BREAK THE ICE.
329
00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:47,998
โช I'VE GOT TO MOVE NOW โช
330
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:50,633
OH! IT'S A DANCE PARTY HAPPENING!
331
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:52,880
COME ON, HONEY!
GET OUT HERE! GET OUT HERE!
332
00:16:52,959 --> 00:16:54,419
I DON'T THINK SO. NO.
333
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,250
-WHO'S FEELING IT?
-I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.
334
00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:01,501
ONE, TWO, THREE, AND FOUR.
335
00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:05,827
โช I GOT TO MOVE MY BODY โช
336
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,792
โช SHAKE MY BODY โช
337
00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:12,705
I'M TEXTING THE CHEERLEADERS
AND TELLING THEM TO CALL OFF THE MEETING.
338
00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:15,712
NOW, I HAVE A PLAN
TO GET STAN OUT OF HERE.
339
00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,922
HERE, STAN, CALL THIS NUMBER.
340
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:22,495
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BREAK SOME MORE RULES.
ARE YOU WITH US?
341
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,173
LET'S DO IT! ( laughs )
342
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:33,497
I SAID BREAK SOME RULES,
NOT JUST, LIKE, RANDOM RULES.
343
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,415
OH, SORRY. I'M NEW AT THIS.
344
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,125
( phone rings )
345
00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:43,628
PASADENA ANIMAL SHELTER.
346
00:17:43,709 --> 00:17:47,079
THIS IS YOUR BOSS SPEAKING!
RELEASE ALL THE DOGS IMMEDIATELY!
347
00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:50,125
Tyler: THERE'S THE CAGE DOOR SWITCH.
348
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:51,918
YOU'RE NOT MY BOSS.
349
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,540
THAT'S NOT EVEN
WHAT HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE.
350
00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,378
-Stan: OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?
-NO.
351
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,500
Stan: DOES YOUR BOSS BE A PIRATE, ARGH?
352
00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:02,923
-Glen: NO.
-THANKS, MAN.
353
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,290
WE'LL JUST TAKE OUR DOG AND BE GOING.
354
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,285
-NO, WAIT, YOU CAN'T!
-WHO'S GONNA STOP US?
355
00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:09,125
A MAN WHO SMELLS LIKE BACON?
356
00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:11,245
COME ON!
357
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,673
( dogs barking )
358
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,920
( screams )
359
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:22,000
( laughing ) THAT TICKLES! THAT TICKLES!
360
00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:23,503
WE DID IT!
361
00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:25,537
WE DIDN'T DO IT!
362
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:33,416
Bennett: AND THEN YOUR FRIEND
READ US YOUR TEXT SAYING
363
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,920
THAT YOU WERE AT THE SHELTER
TRYING TO GET YOUR DOG.
364
00:18:38,208 --> 00:18:41,128
I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN BOTH OF YOU.
365
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:44,328
ESPECIALLY YOU, AVERY.
WE EXPECT MORE FROM YOU.
366
00:18:44,417 --> 00:18:45,707
YOU DON'T EXPECT MORE FROM ME?
367
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,632
I'M JUST HOPING FOR A HAIRCUT OUT OF YOU.
368
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:53,080
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU
DESERVE TO KEEP THAT DOG, AVERY.
369
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,076
OH, GOOD IDEA, BENNETT!
370
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,706
NOW ALL WE NEED
IS SOME "DOG FOR SALE" FLYERS.
371
00:18:56,792 --> 00:18:59,332
OH, LOOK, HERE'S A THOUSAND
THAT MIGHT WORK IN A PINCH.
372
00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:03,712
YOU CAN'T TAKE THE DOG.
AVERY LOVES THAT DOG.
373
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:05,422
AND SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
374
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,167
THIS WHOLE THING WAS MY FAULT.
375
00:19:08,959 --> 00:19:10,329
YOU'RE STICKING UP FOR ME.
376
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:14,747
HEY, IT'S ABOUT TIME
I STARTED ACTING LIKE A BROTHER.
377
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:16,580
THANKS.
378
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,165
( coughs ) WHOA!
379
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:23,170
A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY
WITH THE BODY SPRAY.
380
00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:27,538
LOOK, BENNETT! THE KIDS WERE HUGGING!
I'M COMING IN!
381
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,955
I'M GETTING IN ON THIS ACTION!
382
00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:30,791
( all chuckle )
383
00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:33,495
IF WE'RE HAVING A FAMILY HUG,
SHOULDN'T SOMEBODY GO GET CHLOE?
384
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:36,503
-I'M RIGHT HERE!
-( all laugh )
385
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:39,378
WHOA! ( laughs )
386
00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:41,788
SEE, I TOLD YOU THIS DOG
WOULD BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER.
387
00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:43,955
NOT SURE IT WAS WORTH IT.
388
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,963
Stan: AND WE ALL FORGAVE EACH OTHER
FOR EVERYTHING.
389
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,669
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO
WHEN YOU'RE FAMILY.
390
00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:54,917
SO IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER PETS OUT THERE
WHO ARE READING THIS BLOG,
391
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:58,125
I HOPE THAT YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU
392
00:19:58,917 --> 00:20:01,287
AS MUCH AS MY NEW FAMILY LOVES ME.
393
00:20:01,375 --> 00:20:04,165
-AND SEND.
-( clicks )
394
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:07,040
NOW FOR MY OWN LITTLE DOGGIE TREAT.
395
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,245
( laughs )
396
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,250
"HOT POODLES"?
397
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:30,383
BENNETT, WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER DOG!
398
00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:33,961
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT A BELL ON HER.
399
00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:42,415
COME ON, STAN. YOU CAN DO IT.
400
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:45,290
"I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU."
401
00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:47,245
( barks "I love you." )
402
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,583
-( laughs )
-HE DID IT!
403
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:52,417
I GUESS CHLOE WAS RIGHT!
HE REALLY CAN TALK!
404
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:54,750
WHERE IS CHLOE?
405
00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,544
I FOUND HIM!
406
00:20:59,208 --> 00:21:00,918
-DID YOU?
-I DIDN'T.
407
00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:06,331
THE KID WANTED A PONY.
408
00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:08,247
WAS I NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
409
00:21:09,834 --> 00:21:11,384
โชโช
410
00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:12,708
( boing )
31397
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