Original subtitles

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You know Alain, his twin brother

He was always kind to me

Well we flirted a bit

It's normal, no?

What could I do?

Jean-Claude had been dead more than a year

You can't wait forever

So we became lovers

It wasn't bad at all

Even better, amazing

I know, it was his brother

but at last I could breathe

Things were better

apart from his dog, Kremone

She was his true love

She was so angry that she would lie on the bed between us

to stop Alain touching me

Then one day she disappeared

We looked everywhere

Then the gravedigger phoned and said he'd found her at the cemetery

She'd spent the whole day sitting on his grave

What's incredible

during the night she decided to dig up his bones

The gravedigger returned at dawn

She'd dug up the earth

Nothing, there was just an empty hole

not even a coffin!

The police came

I insisted they re-open the case

They finally told me Jean-Claude was not dead

He'd fled the country

Something with the mafia

He’d grassed to the police

Puff, vanished

He lives in Algeria

can't come back or

he'd be killed

He'd done it for me, for all of us

I insisted I had to see him or else

I'd reveal everything

I loaded the car

Kremone beside me, motionless, expectant

I don't understand what goes on in the head of that poodle

One evening I was in a cafe

Jean-Claude arrived

He shouted

“my wife with my brother how is it possible?!”

He said he couldn't live without Kremone

Kremone looking back over his shoulder...

...in triumph!

She's beautiful but sad

What about my ceiling?

My omelette?

Seeing you sitting there makes me think of my cousin

She was mad about chickens

I don't remember where she was living then

but she’d seen an advert

in a newspaper

for 10 chickens and an enormous coop

I went to the farm, mud everywhere

Old buildings but no people

I went to look for the farmer

There were animals everywhere...

…but nobody

So I decided to leave

I was going back to my van when I heard a strange noise

And there in the ditch

stuck in the mud was an old man

Unable to get out, his legs stuck in the mud

I couldn't pull him out on my own

He asked me to get him a coffee

Do you want some more coffee?

"Reheat the pot on the stove" he said

I went to the kitchen, lit the gas...

...and I heard footsteps

A man came into the kitchen

He was handsome. Very handsome

You can't imagine how handsome!

He told me his dream

he was stuck in a ditch

covered in mud - a horrible nightmare

He woke when he heard me come in

We went out to the ditch...

...there was no one there!

The old man had gone

It was as if I had entered into his dream

So we drank the coffee

I stayed for 3 days

After a few weeks we got married

We were very happy...

...well, I think we were

I never got the chickens Nor him - he disappeared

I'm now alone you have your chicken

Don't do that again, what you did last night

Don't do that to me

Listen now to The Song of Forgotten Cars

And now, the Song of Forgotten Cigarettes

Ladies and gentlemen, our laureate, Professor...

...Schmetterling

Before we hear from our distinguished guest

I would like us to reflect on his discoveries

while listening to the Saint Felix ensemble

It gives us great pleasure to award him

the Ewaldiana Prize

named after one of the famous founders

of the science of crystallography

I remember one day with my uncle

he said he was going to climb this rock

I said you're mad - it's too high It's dangerous

But he was too confident

He climbed it

he jumped

and I never saw my uncle again

The police put a net across the river

A thick fog came down

They never found him

We went to eat at Gaspard's as it was a Sunday

It was a sad meal

No grandfather

and now no uncle

I'm tired

Good night

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the 19th fête of St.Julien en Clop

Between us, I'd love a smoke

Between us, I'd love a smoke

but my doctor has forbidden me after the death of his dog

I'd like to thank Mr & Mrs Fanonvilliers

for the mutton they supply for the grill

They know nothing about sheep

The mutton reminds us of our beautiful countryside

Apologies...

...I have terrible stomach cramps...

...I think it's the oysters prepared by my husband

I'd like to thank Mrs Leboitier

for her exceptional tomatoes

whose flavour is beyond our wildest dreams

And the wines supplied by Gaston Leduc

who despite his great age

still adds to the general drunkenness

We are all here together faced with an uncertain future

rotten with uncertainty

defenceless against a world in perpetual evolution

towards the abyss…

…of oblivion

I leave you amongst these trees, these stones

these bottles, and

your favourite chicken race!

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