All language subtitles for Say.Your.Prayers.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x264-[YTS.MX]-English

Provided by explosiveskull
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M_I_SForEver

- A bit nippy.
- Mm.

- It's nice though.
- Aye.

- Do you mind if I sit?
- Oh.

Thanks.

I didn't realize
it was so steep.

Yeah.

This is nice.

- What you got there?
- Oh, jam sandwich.

Oh.

- My brother hates jam.
- Oh.

Yeah.

When we were kids
he once ate a whole jar,

he was sick for two days.

Yeah, two days.

I don't mind it though.

Do you want one?

No, I, um... I, uh...

- Yeah, maybe.
- Oh.

Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Hm.

Mm, yummy.

Yummy.

Look, I just want to say
that I'm sorry.

- Pardon?
- You seem quite nice really.

- I didn't think you would be.
- Oh right.

I just hope it sorts
itself out in the end.

I'm sorry, I don't think
I quite understand...

Guh!

Ugh.

I said keep him talking

not eat his fucking breakfast.

What is it?

It's jam.

Wank.

Well come on then.

Sorry.

One, two.

Three.

Well, let's go on.

♪ It was pleasant
and delightful ♪

♪ On a midsummer's morn ♪

♪ Where the green fields
and meadows ♪

♪ Were buried in the corn ♪

♪ And the blackbirds
and thrushes ♪

♪ Sang on every green tree ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ At the dawning of the day ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ At the dawning of the day ♪

Moving on to the
Ilkley Literature Festival.

Now the small towns had some
big speakers this fortnight.

Culminating this Sunday
with the controversial

secularist, Professor Bill...

It's pretty, innit?

It reminds me of Holywell.

You see the bridge?

Shame we didn't come up earlier,

we could've had a wonder.

- See what the festival's about.
- Tim.

Did I do something wrong?

You didn't do anything wrong.

I hope he fucking rots.

I'll stop for Burger King
this time, all right.

Fuck's sake!

Yes, all right!

I didn't realize he was local.

What?

I didn't realize
he was from around here.

He's not from around here,
what are you talking about?

Oh.

He sounded it.

What?

Fuck!

How?
How?

I don't know, I saw him
coming out the hotel and...

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

It looked just
like him from behind.

Yeah but everybody looks
like everybody from behind!

No, not necessarily.

You fucking...

Fuck!

Hello?

We're still here.

Well, I...

- What did he...
- We're staying.

- I thought the plan was...
- The plan's changed.

Is he upset?

We'll check into a hotel.

And then what?

Uh and then nothing.

We wait.

He's coming here?

No.

- No, no, no.
- It's fine, it's fine.

It's fine, honestly, honestly.

Look at me, look at me,
look at me.

Look at me, look at me.

It's fine.

Everything's fine.

Put your belt on.

♪ Dashing away
with a smoothing ♪

♪ Dashing away
with a smoothing ♪

♪ Dashing away
with a smoothing iron ♪

♪ She stole my heart away ♪

Fucking festival prices, my ass.

It'll be like we're teenagers
again, ey.

- What side do you want?
- I don't care.

All right, I'll take that side.

No, I want that one.

Sure.

Forgot my fucking beads.

Do you think he'll mind?

What?

That we killed the wrong one?

It's all part of his plan.

Sure.

It still seems a bit mean,
doesn't it?

Tim, I'm praying.

Sorry.

That doesn't mean watch TV,
fucking spaz!

No, no look, Vic!

Well, it's safe to say

you certainly rustled
some feathers.

Have I? Whew, I thought
I was losing my touch.

And you really can't understand

why your book is offending
so many people?

Oh sure, I can understand it

but that doesn't mean to say
I have to care.

I mean, I'm offended every day

by the dogma pedaled
in churches and mosques

up and down the country
but you don't see me

issuing Fatwas

or burning effigies of Christ.

Yes, but the point is...

The point is this,
my book deals with facts.

With rational thought.

Now if that makes people
so insecure

about their supposedly
omnipotent God

to the point of offense,
well, you'll excuse...

Asshole, fucking asshole!

Fucking asshole,
fucking asshole!

Pillow, Vic, pillow, pillow!

Fuck.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck.

Ugh.

♪ Ah ♪

- Careful.
- It doesn't hurt.

Vic?

Do you love me?

- Shut up.
- Sorry.

Here you go, drinks.

Cheers.

Through our Lord

grant them joy
in the internal brightness.

Amen.

Go on then.

No, I'm all right.

Suit yourself.

- What time's he coming?
- Afternoon.

- What do you wanna do before?
- Sleep.

I was thinking
maybe go for wander.

Just for a bit, you know?

We don't have to do anything.

Vic?

Jesus Christ.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

No, Vic, leave it, it's fine.

Oh my God, oh my God.

Vic, it's fine, come on.

Oh God.

No, Vic, Vic, Vic,
come on, you sit!

- One more time.
- What?

Say his name one more time

there's gonna be a problem.
Do you understand?

Sorry, I think there
must be a mistake.

No, no mistake.

He that blasphemes
against the Holy Ghost

- hath never forgiveness.
- Blasphemes?

Look, I'm sorry we didn't
mean to offend you.

You think you can laugh at us,
ey?

You think you can
fucking laugh at us.

No, no I don't.

- My sister's a Roman Catholic.
- Come on, Vic, let's go.

Well.

Then let this be a warning.

Yeah.

Yeah of course, yeah.

- Jesus Christ.
- What did you just say?

What the fuck did you just say?

- Going to bed.
- All right.

A definition of heroism that.

So how do we begin to grapple

with this notion of heroinism?

What makes our heroes heroic?

Is it success or final victory?

Not necessarily.

Oedipus was the greatest king
that thieves had ever seen.

Until he wasn't.

So perhaps then,
heroism lurks somewhere

between parallelities,
between good and evil.

Action and inaction.

Milton has Satan lament

which way I fly is hell
and it's this indecision...

Fuck.

Light, anybody?

Can I get a ruddy light?

Here, ma'am.

I'll have that, off you trot.

- Right, Hodge.
- Yes, ma'am.

- Hikers that found him, local?
- Yes, ma'am.

The Dennehys, a couple out
walking their labby.

- Their what?
- Their dog.

- Walking their dog.
- All right, how long

do you think he's been here?

I'm not a coroner,
ma'am I don't know.

Just take a step in the dark,
love.

Judging by the rigidity
of his extremities

- I'd say at least 12 hours.
- Right.

So why did Jack and Jane Bethman
only find him two hours ago?

We've got something, ma'am.

Bring it down then, Frank.

I'm not a fucking Sherpa,
fuck's sake.

Hiking really is a wanker's
pastime, isn't it?

That said, our wanker
looks like he came prepared.

Pricy boots, nice waterproof.

Can't see an experienced
walker tumbling 30 feet

just 'cause
the weather picks up.

- Suicide's an option.
- Perhaps.

Here ma'am.

We found it under a bench.

- Hi, Millie.
- Hiyya.

Frank, if you want to stick
your dick in something

- talk to the corpse.
- Yes, ma'am.

- It looks like a bracelet....
- Shut it, Frank.

Ma'am, have you seen
the bruising around his neck?

Oh.

Fun.

- How'd you sleep?
- Fine.

Yeah, it took me ages
to nod off.

You don't think they'll be
looking for us, do you?

- Who?
- I don't know, the police.

Keep your fucking voice down,
will yah?

Sorry.

I don't want to go to prison.

We're not going to prison,
shut up.

Anyway, even if we did, so what?

Loads of saints went to prison,
didn't do them any harm, did it.

Some twat blows himself up,

gets himself on the front
of every fucking paper,

maybe it's our turn, ey.

They don't love God
anymore than we do, do they?

- No.
- No, so...

if we do go to prison
and I'm not saying we will

because we won't,

but if we did

we'd be martyrs, proper ones.

There you go, see.

Stop thinking so much,
all right.

Good.

Now...

Should we go and watch cartoons?

What?

I just thought maybe we could
have a wander around town.

- Why?
- Just for a bit, you know.

I don't think it's a good idea.

This place doesn't seem
that bad.

Even Southam has good bits.

All right fine, you go.

Just for a bit, oi, listen.

Be careful, yeah?

Remember why we're here.

Right.

♪ As I came, as I came ♪

♪ As I came through Sandgate,
through Sandgate ♪

♪ Through Sandgate ♪

♪ As I came through Sandgate ♪

♪ Oh, as I came through
Sandgate, through Sandgate ♪

♪ Through Sandgate,
as I came through Sandgate ♪

♪ I heard the lassie sing ♪

♪ Weel may the keel row,
the keel row, the keel row ♪

♪ Weel may the keel row,
that my wee laddie's in ♪

♪ Weel may the keel row,
the keel row, the keel row ♪

♪ Weel may the keel row
that my wee laddie's in ♪

- Hello.
- Hi.

- It's you.
- Is it?

Uh, you were talking
at the hotel last night.

Oh God yeah, it is me.

Sorry, I hope it
wasn't too tedious.

No, no, no, not at all.

We had someone pull out
last minute, so

I got bullied into it.

Oh?

Anyway, nice of you to say hi,
I better...

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

And who's Milton?

Sorry?

You were talking about
Milton last night.

- About Satan.
- John Milton

and yeah, he's...

He wrote Paradise Lost.

It's a very long poem
about the Bible.

Satan's the good guy,
well sort of.

Well then what about God?

God is kind of like
a judgmental dad.

Constantly shooting down
everyone's party.

That sounds a bit
like my brother.

- Does it?
- Yeah.

So who else are you here to see
other than me, obviously.

Oh, I'm thinking of seeing this.

You... you know,
I think that's for kids.

Oh, right, oops.

But you know,
it's all good stuff.

Do you want to come?

You know what, normally I would

but I'm just about
to meet a friend.

Oh sure, no worries, okiedokie.

But I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks.

- Bye then.
- Bye.

Hey!

Hey, hold on!

Why you reading that?

Uh, you hadn't said anything
in about eight minutes.

No, why you reading that.

Wanted to see
what all the fuss was about.

Just another jumped up
cocker

thinks the world's waiting
for his opinion.

I said it before, do you know
what I'm gonna say it again.

This festival brings out
the twats like nothing else.

And you're sure
there's a connection?

What, a perfectly ordinary
bloke?

No debts, no dirty habits,
loving wife.

It's tossed off a bluff,
the only weekend this place

means anything to anyone.

Yes, I think it might be
a fat old coincidence.

It's possible.

Jesus.

God, you sound like
my therapist.

Praise be, here he comes.

Locked off.

- Morning Martin.
- Oh Christ.

Before you ask,
yes I did get your messages

and no, I don't have time
to talk about it

because if you hadn't noticed

I'm trying to run
a festival here.

- This is CI Hodge.
- Yes, I know.

Millie used to babysit
my daughter, hello Millie.

Hi, Mr. Silver,
how's it all going?

Getting there,
your mom's been a great help

sorting out that bunting,
you see,

you forget that you're the
only person in Ilkley

who somehow manages
not to know anyone.

- Boohoo.
- You gonna invite us in?

No.

"Peter's mother put her
arm around him suddenly

and hugged him in silence
for a minute

then she said, 'Don't
you think it's rather nice

to think that we're in
a book that's God's writing?

If I were writing the book

I might make mistakes.

But God knows how to make
the story end just right,

in a way that's best for us.'

'Do you really believe that,
mother?'

Peter asked quietly.

'Yes, she said,
I do believe it."

You think you'll
ever write a book?

Oh, I have, unfortunately,
no one wanted to publish it.

You can stand on the edges
in this job

but if your name's not on
the list you're not getting in.

Yeah.

When I was 15,

Bobby Roads wouldn't let me
play in his treehouse.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

How did that work out?

Well, my brother broke his nose.

Oh, you're not the average
festival goer, are you, Tim?

W... what do you mean?

Well, you... you know,

you don't exactly fit the type.

What you really doing here?

I'm just... I'm you know.

I'm only teasing,
why shouldn't you be here.

We're all stories in the end,

as my dad would say.

That's why we tell them.

Wow.

Oh, that is fantastic Margaret.

Yes, we will make sure
they're still and sparkling.

All right, yes,
looking forward to it.

Okay, take care bye-bye now.

Bye, bye-bye.

you do
tricks as well?

Only for the Nobel winners.

What do you want?

Okay, right,
well I want suspension

of all festival events
for the next 48 hours.

You are joking.

It's the final weekend, Louise.

I mean, it's the biggest weekend
in the bloody calendar.

Yes, Martin and there's been
a bloody murder

less than a bloody mile away.

And... and the family has my
deepest sympathies, they do.

But I really don't see
what that has to do with us

unless the police want
to start deputizing novelists.

Don't be a smartass, Martin

or I'll twat you in the throat.

But the reality is we got
24 hours to find our man

before our odds
become considerably slimmer.

So it'd really help our lives

if we didn't have a fucking
carnival going on around us.

You need a holiday, Louise.

Get out of Yorkshire.

Okay, all right,
if that's how you feel, Martin.

Hey, hey, perhaps Helen
would like to know

about this waiter you've been
going around with.

Italian, isn't he?

Very exotic.

Louise, Helen and I have been
amicably separated

for two years,
Enrico is my fiancé.

Look, I know this weekend
means nothing to you, yeah.

But it's our single largest
tourism boost of the year.

I've seen jaws, Louise,

Don't make me the mayor.

John Martin,
I've seen Jaws as well.

I am fucking Jaws

and you are this far away

from getting slapped
by my fish dick.

Congratulations on your wedding,
Mr. Silver.

Oh, thank you Millie, thank you.

Oh and regards to your mother,
I hope she's doing okay.

Fish stick.

Fish stick.

- What now?
- Follow him home.

Piles of shit
through his letterbox.

How about some breakfast?

Fine.

I'm really ruling at it,

the golden age
of children's literature.

Right, I see.

- I've got to go.
- Oh, okay.

Um, it was nice meeting you,
Imelda.

It was nice meeting you too,
Tim.

Bye.

Oh, there's an
end of the fest party

- at The Banister tonight.
- Okay.

You should come along
if you want.

Uh, yeah maybe.

Okay, well it starts at seven.

And I promise
not to talk about books.

What?

I'm a naughty little boy.

- I'm a naughty little boy.
- Oh, oh.

- Tim!
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Tim, fuck's sake.

Ugh, ugh.

Don't look, don't look!

Knock!

Hello?

Hello?

Naughty little boy,
where have you gone?

Hello?

- Oh.
- Hi there.

- Hello?
- He's uh... he's just...

Okay.

I like your room.

Ugh.

Let's go.

There you go, love.

Right, what can I get for you,
love?

- Oh, no I think...
- It's all right.

No, no, no, no, no please.

Oh cheers.

Sausage softy, please Tina

- and a black coffee.
- Coming up, one sausage.

Any news on that dead bloke,
Millie?

Nothing yet.

Had his wife come down
this morning,

- identify the body.
- Oh, poor hen.

He was from Rutland, wasn't he?

I don't know who would do
something like that.

- It's awful.
- Whoever it is, we'll get them.

Yeah, throw away the key
and let them rot.

And for you, love?

Oh, um a bacon sandwich
and an orange juice please.

Coming up, one bacon.

I'll get that coffee for you,
Millie.

- You here for the festival?
- Yeah.

Business or pleasure?

Business, pleasure.

Business and pleasure.

Oh you're a writer?

Yeah.

Well, I better keep an eye out
for you, haven't I.

Hm.

Right, there you go then.

Cheers, Tina.

Oh, enjoy the festival.

See you around.

Ah!

Ah!

Tim?

Tim?

Yeah?

Look, in the hotel

I wasn't...

It's all right.

You don't have to.

How was your walk?

It was fine.

What if we didn't?

What?

Hurt anyone else.

I'm not saying I don't want to,
I do.

- I just want to be sure.
- Tim.

No, I mean sure that
it's definitely the right thing.

Tim, he's here.

♪ Ah ♪

Ah, my boys.

What will we do with you, ey?

So.

Who wants to start?

Victor?

We're... we're so sorry.

Oh that's very gracious of you,
Victor.

Very gracious.

But you don't suppose
I traveled all this way

for an apology, do you?

Or perhaps you thought
I'd just make you say

ten Hail Mary's and everything
would sort itself out.

Hm?

I don't think so.

Do you?

Well!

It was my fault, father.

Good Timothy,
now we're getting somewhere.

- Don't, it wasn't...
- Ey, ey, ey,

that's enough from you, Victor.

I'm talking to your brother.

Go on.

I made a mistake.

Yeah, you did, didn't yah.

A rather big mistake.

Yes, Father.

And?

How do we suggest we fix
this rather big mistake?

I don't know.

You don't know?

You don't know.

Ugh, ugh!

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, now we're back to apologies,

I didn't bring you up

to be sniffling pigs, did I.

I brought you up to be kings.

Did we all fall short
in the glory of God.

Though your sins be like scarlet

they shall be white as snow.

We'll make it up to you.

I know you will, boys.

I know you will.

- What's cooking, good looking?
- Good afternoon, how can I help?

Detective Inspector Brough,
this is TI Hodge.

I need a record of everyone
who's checked in

over the last two days.

I'm not sure I... let's me
just call the manager.

Oh, that won't be necessary
sweetum.

We don't rub well
with bureaucracy.

Do we Hodge?

Now be a good boy
and start printing, yeah.

Anything stand out
on that list?

Families, a lot of folk
on their on.

Are we really gonna
knock on every door.

You got a better idea?

No.

Look at that, we got Professor
Huxley staying here tonight.

Oh yeah,
let's start with him then.

If you're lucky
he might sign your tits.

So this time you must be
certain, absolutely certain

there's no room for error.

Where do we know
for sure that he'll be, huh?

Well, at the talk.

Good Timothy, very good.

At the talk, yes.

I think that's
an excellent idea.

Why not let the world see
God's wrath made plain.

- But then...
- What?

Then how would we get away
without everyone seeing us?

Oh.

I remember the day
I took you in.

Like moseys in the basket

except you didn't even have
a basket, did you.

You poor sweet boys

and I was willing, wasn't I?

To clothed you, teach you,

love you.

And what have I asked
in return?

Ey?

What have I only ever asked,
Timothy?

For our love.

For your love, yes.

But love won't sacrifice,

not just obedience, Timothy.

You won't forsake me now,
will you?

You'll be a good boy, yes.

Splendid.

So we better start
making arrangements

before our distinguish
professor's arrival.

Afternoon, we're looking for
Professor Huxley.

He's not arrived yet,
can I help?

Detective Inspector Brough,
this is TI Hodge,

we're investigating
a crime in the area.

- Right?
- Yeah we're just carrying out

- some routine checks.
- Well, like I said

the professor's not here,
have a nice day.

Actually while I got you,
sweetheart,

you haven't noticed
anything unusual

on your cleaning rounds
have you?

My cleaning rounds?

- Oh, I...
- Yes?

- Sorry, just assumed...
- She honestly didn't mean

- anything by this.
- Yeah I'm sure she didn't.

I'm here to welcome
the professor

as part of
the festival committee

but I do have five minutes
if you'd like me

- to shine your shoes, or...
- We're very sorry

to disturb you,
have a lovely day.

Oops.

All booked, Old Library tomorrow
at two o'clock.

Good, very good.

Right but what
if there's security?

How am I going to get
near him if they're...

Timothy, would you pass me
my bag?

Put it here.

This was my father's.

Great man, valiant man.

Sort of man that
doesn't exist anymore.

Why he stayed with my mother
for so long I'll never know.

Cowardly woman.

Timothy, come here.

- Father, I think...
- Victor, be a good boy

and make me another cup of tea,
come on.

- Right, now give me your hand.
- Why?

Hey, hey, Timothy.

Hey, come on
it's not gonna bite you.

Now.

You make sure that
this is pulled right back.

Yes?

You can see the bullet
in the chamber, do you see?

Now it's very simple.

When the time comes you'll just
take a deep, deep breath

and squeeze.

♪ Away with her smoothing iron ♪

♪ She stole my heart away ♪

Jesus, what a waste
of an afternoon.

- What now?
- Might as well carry on.

You take the Grand Lodge,
I'll try the Lamb.

- Need a lift?
- Nope.

Why are you telling me
to shoot...

Because if anything
should happen,

anything at all, I need to know

that you'll be ready.

You understand?

Sh, sh Timothy, you're weak

and God wants to be
your strength.

Surrender to him

and he will show himself strong.

I don't want to.

Excuse me?

♪ Swooning eyes
and stole my heart away ♪

Afternoon, I need to conduct
a search of the premises.

I mean, I can't... I can't
do it, I'm sorry.

You are disobeying me.

No, I'm not I'm just...

- I don't see why.
- Be very careful, Timothy.

Very careful.

Remember who
you're speaking to.

I molded you out of nothing.

Ever sermon,
every scrap of clothing.

Every lash, it was me.

Do you understand?

And now I'm asking
for your protection.

I have been meek,
I have been guided haven't I?

But now they're saying
we must close our church,

leave our home,
well, enough is enough.

We shouldn't bite
our tongues anymore.

We shan't let them laugh at us,
humiliate us.

Right, thanks all the same.

Saul have slain his thousands,

Dave and his tens of thousands

and I am asking you
for only one.

You understand?
Just one!

Please Timothy, take it!

- Take it!
- Wait, wait.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

I'll do it.

Please, I'd like to really.

There.

There, see.

Now everybody's happy.

Everybody's happy.

Hello, police, can you open up?

I can hear someone in there.

Can you open up, please?

Hello, my dear.

- Oh.
- How can I help?

Uh, sorry to disturb you,
Father.

I'm just looking for a Victor
and Timothy Walker.

Know either of those?

No, have they done
something wrong?

No, no, not necessarily.

It's just, uh,
they're the names

that the room's
booked under.

I... oh, God.

I understand.
They're my boys.

Yeah, they booked
the room for me.

I can't get my head around
this modern technology.

Right, sir,
so you're saying

that they booked
this room for you

under both
of their names, yes?

Is that a problem?

No, no, no problem.

Do you mind if I come in,
Father?

Come in?

Yeah, oh, no, no,
of course, come in.

Come in?

No, no, of course, come in.

Come in.

In fact, that's the kettle
just boiled.

And how 'bout we have a chat
over a cup of tea?

It's funny, you know,
just before you knocked,

I was thinking, um,
about that passage, um,

what is it?

Matthew 5.

Blessed are
the peacemakers,

for they shall be called
the sons of God.

Daughters, in your case,
of course.

- Are you religious yourself?
- Nope.

Well, then maybe a chat
will be good.

If you'll forgive me
for saying,

you seem to be carrying
some pain.

That must be exhausting.

Actually, do you know,
I must be getting on.

I've got a lot of rooms
to get through,

you understand, Father,
so, um...

You sure I can't tempt you?

Uh, maybe next time.

Oh, but I hope you find what
you're looking for, Officer.

Goodnight.

Two o'clock tomorrow.

As the applause rises,

let them see
the decrepitude

of their idolatry.

Good.

Now, how shall we spend
our evening?

♪ Dashing away
with the smoothing iron ♪

♪ Stole my heart away ♪

Missed me. Woo!

Missed me. Woo!

Missed me!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

One, two, three.

Um, I'm just...
I'm gonna just.

Oi..

Let him enjoy
his final night.

You all right?

Oh, you know,
surviving.

Any major breakthroughs?

I wouldn't pull
that face, dear.

the wind might change.

So what now?

Oh, I don't know.

We should wrap up
for the night.

Call it in, get Scot Yard here
first thing.

No, I'm not letting them
bastards have it.

Killer's here,
I can feel it.

Hey, it's you.

Uh, yes, hi.

You here for the party?

Sorry?

The bannister?

Sort of, yeah.

Go on.

Goodbye.

See ya.

True knobheads,
the lot of them.

Thought he seemed nice.

You would.

All right, sweetheart,
let's get you off.

Oh, it's okay,
I don't mind.

No, no, I know
what you girls are like

without your beauty sleep.

Join me back at the office.

Lucky me.

I'll wrap up
for the night.

Tomorrow is ours,
I know it!

Hello, I need to speak
to Imelda.

- She's at the party.
- Okay, can I get a name?

Tim.

Tim?

Tim.

Yeah.

I'm afraid
it's invite-only here, Tim.

Um, you might be better off
down the road.

Tim?

You made it.

Hello.

It's all right, Nadia,
he's with me.

- How are you?
- I need to talk to you

- about something.
- Yeah, sure.

Hi.

I'm afraid bullshit
is the lingua franca here.

Come on.

Imelda,
there's something going on

that I need to talk
to you about.

Something bad is gonna happen
and I need your help.

Oh, there she is.

Where have you been hiding?

Ugh, take a deep breath.

Tim?

Sorry.

He's one of your followers.

Not literally, I hope.

So what do you do, Tim?

I'm, um,
a warden at the church.

I do the gardens
as well sometimes.

Gosh, Imelda, I think
you've got yourself a live one.

Fabian.
I do apologize.

My friend here
is obviously unschooled

in the art of tact
and tolerance.

Tim, I'm so sorry,
I didn't realize.

That's all right,
I think I'm just gonna...

No, no, no, don't.
Come on, please stay.

They're all idiots anyway.

Yes, yes, do stay.

Fabian was only teasing.

We can get you a drink.

Imelda, could I borrow you
for a moment?

Oh, I'm... just...

In fact,
perhaps there's something

you could help me with.

I'm having
particular difficulty

with a passage
in 1 Corinthians.

And then the end
will come

when he hands over
the kingdom to God

after he has destroyed
all authority.

Now, do you not think there's
an inherent contradiction

in destroying
all authority

whilst handing back power
to an omnipotent God?

Because the only way
I can rectify it in my head,

and, granted, I won't be
as read up on this as you,

but in order to make sense
of it at all,

God the Father will have
to face eradication,

which I presume means pressing
the self-destruct button

behind
the immovable boulder.

It's just a joke,
but there is something

wonderfully nihilistic in it,

that God should judge
himself so severely

to the point
of destruction.

But I have to admit,

that's the kind of God
I can really get behind.

What do you think?

You know what,
I think you might be

in the wrong group
after all, chum.

Tim, Tim,
where are you going?

Idiot!

Where the hell
have you been?

Sorry.

Are you okay?

Enjoying my final night.

Where is he?

Asleep.

I don't have to worry
about you, do I?

No.

No, you don't.

I'm sorry I...

I'm back now.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I don't want anyone
laughing at us, Vic.

They won't.

I won't let them.

Just wish everything
wasn't so complicated.

It's okay to doubt.

You know?

I doubt too sometimes.

I thought I saw him
sitting in a restaurant.

The bloke that we...

That I...

I wanted to tell him
I was sorry.

Tell him it was a mistake,
because...

Didn't he look
just like Dad.

Hey.

Hey.

It's all right.

It's all right.

I'll always look after us,
you know that.

Yeah, yeah, I know that.

Come on, hey?

Let's go to bed.

Come on.

Here we go.

Don't wake him,
don't wake him.

Vic?

Yeah.

Do you ever wish
that we could go home?

I really love you, Tim.

I really love you too.

Till tomorrow.

♪ There were three ravens
sat on a tree ♪

♪ Downe a downe,
hay downe, hay downe ♪

♪ They were as blacke
as blacke could be ♪

♪ With a downe ♪

♪ Then one of them
said to their mate ♪

♪ Where shall we
our breakfast take? ♪

♪ With a downe, derrie, derrie,
derrie, downe, downe ♪

♪ They flew away
so eagerly ♪

♪ Downe a downe,
hay downe, hay downe ♪

♪ Through pastures new
in search of fare ♪

♪ With a downe ♪

♪

♪ Spring came next
but soon was gone ♪

♪ With a downe, derrie,
derrie, derrie, downe, downe ♪

♪ Downe in yonder greene field ♪

♪ Downe a downe,
hay downe, hay downe ♪

♪ There lies a Knight
slain under his shield ♪

♪ With a downe ♪

♪ Downe there comes
a fallow Doe ♪

♪ Great with yong
as she might goe ♪

♪ With a downe, derrie,
derrie, derrie, downe, downe ♪

Timothy.

Glorious, isn't it?

Perfect day.

I've still gotta do
a second coat of varnish

on the pews.

Supposed to do it
when I got back.

Mm, there'll be time.

Now, we better get going.

Don't want to be late.

You're...

You're not coming.

Hm? Me? No.

Martyrdom is a young man's game.

I've placed my trust
in you both,

just as the Lord has placed
His trust in the three of us.

All right.

I love you both.

Good luck.

- I think I'm gonna walk.
- Fine.

For fuck sake.

♪

Bill.

Just the man I was after.

Very much looking forward
to today.

Um, I was just wondering
if there was anything, uh,

you wanted...
you're in here, um,

anything you wanted me
to say in particular

in your introduction?

Why don't you do your thing
and I'll do mine?

Yes, of course. Yes.

Uh, well, break a leg.

Don't break a leg.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please can you have
your tickets ready.

Ticket please.

Something in your pocket, sir.

All right, thank you.

Next.

All right, thank you.

Next.

- Next!
- Yeah, I'll help you out here.

Oh, that's very kind of you.

Keep your arms out,
sir, please.

Empty out your pocket, sir.

Right, thank you.

The whole bloody thing's
made of metal, you retard.

All right, okay,
go through.

Next.

Put your arms up.

All right, thank you.

Next.

Tim!

Hello.

Are you all right?
You look a bit...

Yeah, no, I'm fine.

I've missed
all the good seats,

so I think
I'm just gonna head home.

Right.
Come on, follow me.

♪ Dashing away
with the smoothing iron ♪

♪ Dashing away with
the smoothing iron ♪

♪ Dashing away
with the smoothing iron ♪

♪ She stole my heart away ♪

♪ 'Twas on a Monday morning
when I beheld my darling ♪

♪ She looked so neat and
charming in every high degree ♪

♪ She looked
so neat and nimble-o ♪

♪ Oh, the drying
of her linen-o ♪

♪ Dashing away
with the smoothing iron ♪

♪ Dashing away with
the smoothing iron ♪

♪ Dashing away
with the smoothing iron ♪

♪ She stole my heart away ♪

Mm, cock it.

Really don't have to do this.

Don't be silly,
it's my job.

Um, look, why don't
you go on and I'll just...

Come on, no, come on,
we're almost there.

♪ She looked so neat
and nimble-o ♪

♪ The drying
of her linen-o ♪

I just wanted to, um...

Not bad, is it?

♪ Dashing away
with the smoothing iron ♪

♪ Dashing away with
the smoothing iron ♪

♪ She stole my heart away ♪

Excuse me?

Excuse me!

Oh.

Thank you.

I'm surprised you still came
today after last night.

Yeah, well, you know.

I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have left you.

You and Huxley
seem quite...

Oh, yeah, I know.

Worst kept secret
on the festival circuit.

Anyway, it's irrelevant now.

Irrelevant?

Yeah, I had this
incredible epiphany

that if something
feels wrong,

don't do it.

Oh.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
thank you all for coming.

It's wonderful to see
so many of you here.

Yes, even you, David.

Um, as the festival
draws to a close,

it is with great pleasure
that I introduce

our keynote speaker.

He's a man who, frankly,
needs no introduction.

But I'm gonna give him one
anyway.

He's a man that
some would call...

...a human juggernaut
of wit and intellect,

and one
of the few moral authorities

in an increasingly
terrifying world.

So, without further ado,

ladies and gentlemen,

please put your hands
together

and give a very warm welcome

to the one and only
Professor Bill Huxley.

Thank you, Martin,
I'm positively blushing.

Well, I must say
I'm rather humbled

by how undaunted
my readers seem to be,

considering that everyone thinks
I'm gonna be blown up.

Personally, I take that
as a compliment.

Anyway, enough
of the sentimentality,

we've got work to do.

Good morning,.

And rise and shine for another
beautiful day in Yorkshire.

Of course, we've got
Professor Bill Huxley here.

- Who's next, please?
- Yeah, hi, I need 25...

Um, I think we were first,
actually.

Oh, right,
I don't think you were.

But my son has been waiting
for 20 minutes.

I really need to go!

Well, maybe your son
needs to learn

that the universe
doesn't owe him anything.

Look, he's got shoes
on his feet

and he's not being
sex trafficked

halfway across Thailand.

Excuse me?

Excused.

Hiya, yeah, I need 25...

Remind me why
we're in Weatherby.

Only place open on a Sunday,
isn't it?

Huh.

You finished that yet?

- Pretty much.
- Worth it?

I don't see why he has
to be such a massive prick

about the whole thing.

Ooh, look at you,
tough nut.

I just think you should be
careful what you're ripping down

before you know exactly
what it holds up.

Cool hunch, you're lost
in this profession.

You should join
the nunnery, dear.

Definitely got the ass
for it.

I'll take that
as a compliment.

Yeah, do.

The nuns at my school
had the best buttocks

I've ever seen.

You're a Catholic?

Oh, God,
I'm not a fucking Cath...

Do I look like
a ruddy Catholic?

No, God, Jesus.

Do you think I'd let
some bloke in a dress

moan at me
for three hours?

Enough of that
from the chief super.

Mind you, they all start
to roll into one, don't they?

Look.

They start to look
the same.

Won't argue with that.

Although I don't suppose
lab had got back results

on that bracelet.

Ma'am?

What is it, ma'am?

It's not a bracelet.

What?

It's not a fucking bracelet.

- How do you mean?
- They're beads,

they're fucking prayer beads.

- Ha!
- I don't get it.

- What time's his talk?
- Who?

Huxley! His talk,
what time, what time?

- Two, I don't know...
- Bollocks, Right,

how quick can you get us
back into town?

Yeah, hiya.

Uh, I need to reach
Martin Silver ASAP.

Hodge, you better
put your phone down.

That massive prick
might be in trouble.

♪ And he said bide,
lady, bide ♪

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

Pure sensationalism.

Said and done to sell books
and make headlines.

But please don't forget,

I only wish to seek
the undeniable

and empirical order
of things.

Not to divide society,
but to improve our lot.

Yeah, well,
you can tell Martin

if he doesn't call me back
in the next two minutes

I'm gonna string him up
by the bollocks

and then I'm gonna thrash him
like a fucking piñata.

It's a Mexican paper animal
full of sweets.

But ultimately
there is no justice

for the everyday hero.

In reality, religion does
not convey immortality

upon its partisans,

but only on those
that spread it.

All men throughout the history
of our various civilizations

who have used a false god
to justify torture, rape,

genocide, the oppression
of women and homosexuals,

these are the men
that religion makes immortal,

not the martyrs.

Quite the contrary.

Immortality
is reserved

for history's
greatest villains.

Liar!

You're liar and a fraud!

Shame on you!

For if we go on
sinning willfully

after receiving
the knowledge of the truth,

we shall not be forgiven
for our sins.

Get off me,
get off me!

Oh, there goes
one of them now.

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

If we might continue.

Hello, granddad,
could you fucking move?

All right, all right.

Christ!

Knobheads.

Wanker!

Where, then,
does that leave us

in relation to morality?

If we reject the notion
of a prime mover,

are we therefore amoral?

Absolutely not.

To suppose that
without ethical laws

impressed upon us
by some deity

that we would be unable to
discern between right and wrong

is at best childish
and at worst utterly shameful.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

We must be accountable
for our actions

and for the decisions
from which they derive.

We cannot hide beneath
a safety blanket,

letting ourselves be dictated
to by some dusty book.

Unless, of course,
it's one of mine.

I'll end with this.

The comforts we take
for granted every day,

shelter, tools, nutrition,

these were gifted to us
by science, not mysticism.

Why, then,
won't we trust science

when it comes to morality?

To be here in

where Darwin himself
made the transition

from the tyranny
of belief

to the sanctity
of rational enlightenment

gives me hope
that our civilization

will presently shake off

the pernicious infringement
of reality

that religion offers,

allowing us instead
to regain our integrity.

Our individuality.

And celebrate
true autonomy of choice.

Between the moral
and the immoral.

Between right and wrong.

I've made my choice.

Now it's up to you.

Thank you very much.

♪ Bide, lady, bide ♪

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

♪ Bide, lady, bide ♪

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

♪ Bide, lady, bide ♪

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

Nobody move!
Everybody stay where you are.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I am DCI Brough

from the North Bradford
Police Department.

Now, I need everyone
to remain calm.

- There is nothing...
- He's got a gun, he's got a gun!

Enrico!

Come with me.

Would someone tell me
what the fuck

is going on out there?

- You.
- Shut up.

Give me the gun.

No. No, not yet.

Come through here.

- Get up.
- What?

- Get up.
- Ow, ow.

- Come on.
- Ow.

- Shut up.
- Ow.

- Shut up.
- Ow.

Shut up.

Nothing, ma'am.

You seem to be making
a habit of this, Inspector.

Look, I just thought...

I just thought that...

Help!

Help!

Shut the fuck up.

Sorry.

This one.

Okay. You stand guard.

No, I'm doing it.

- What?
- You've done enough.

It's my turn.

Please.

I'll be right here
if you need me.

You can't be serious.

Okay.

Please, please,
please don't.

What... what...
what is it you want?

- Money?
- No.

No, I don't want money.

Okay, listen, uh,
what's your name?

We met yesterday.

Well, I meet a lot of people.

It's not always possible
to remember everyone's...

Trevor, Michael, Frances.

- Tim.
- Tim!

My name's Tim.

Tim, yes, of course.

My name's Bill.

Yes, I know who you are.

Yes, of course,
of course you do.

Look, look, Tim, you really
don't have to do this.

No, I'm sorry,
but I do.

Is this about Imelda?

That's just a bit of fun.

I am here on behalf
of Holywell Parish Church.

What?

This is about...

But you're a Christian.

So?

Christians send letters,
they don't jihad.

Professor Huxley, this is for
the souls you've led astray.

But that's just words,
it's nothing,

it doesn't mean anything.

Tim, everything all right?

Uh, yeah, yeah,
it's... it's fine. Yep.

♪ Dashing away
with the smoothing iron ♪

♪ Dashing away with
the smoothing iron ♪

- I'm gonna kill you, Professor.
- Please.

I'm gonna kill you and then...
and then we're gonna...

we're gonna turn
ourselves in or, uh,

maybe... maybe we'll
just kill ourselves.

You know,
I don't know yet.

Anyway,
that does not concern you.

Please, please don't.

Do you repent your sins?

I'm begging you.

Do you repent your sins?

- Yes!
- Louder!

- Yes!
- Louder.

- Yes!
- Louder!

Yes, I repent my sins!

- Fuck.
- We're too late.

Come on.

Tim.

Well done, mate.

Everything all right?

Tim?

What's going on?

We've got to go now.

Pardon?

Tim, everything all right?

Yep, it's all good.
Just give me a second.

What do you mean?

I mean I'm getting you
out of here.

You're gonna live.

Hooray.

But you just tried
to shoot me.

Yeah, but now I'm not,
so please hurry up.

So, what the fuck
was that all about?

Tim, what the fuck
is going on?

Hey you,
what are you doing?

- Who's in there?
- Tim.

- Tim.
- Come back here!

Get back here.
Get after him!

Open up, get after him.

Go on!

Fucking hell, open the door.

Open the door,
it's the police.

Open up!

I can't believe it.

The one imbecile thick enough
to actually try to kill me

and he has a crisis
of confidence.

Shh, shh, shh,
keep your voice down.

And what kind of fundamentalist
changes his fucking mind?

Open up!
Open this door right now!

Open up!

Get out of the car, sir!

Don't you dare... don't you
fucking dare drive away.

Don't... get out!

This is the trouble
with you believers, isn't it?

You incense-burning,
bean counting, morning masses.

For all your pointless frenzy,

You never actually
put your money

where your mouth is,
do you?

'Cause if you really believed
in an afterlife,

if you actually believed
there were somewhere else

beside this shitty place,
you'd spike the sacrament

with fucking cyanide
and line up to gulp it down.

This is DCI Hodge,
I'm in pursuit

of a red hatchback
driving north.

I'm in need of backup, the man
may be armed and dangerous.

Repeat: Backup now.

Because you Catholics

you're just sniveling
agnostics, aren't you,

pathetic Debbie doubters,

too terrified
to pick a side.

Too scared to make
a fucking choice.

Does anyone
got a fucking key?

Oh, I... I am making a choice.

You, come on,

you're not even gonna
be a hero

in your own ideology.

I don't wanna be a hero!

I just wanna save your life.

Even if you are a...

...a big knob.

Now, please, can you help me
get this open?

I apologize.

Acting in self-defense
is too good an opportunity

to turn down.

You can't buy
that sort of publicity.

Sorry, chum.

No, no wait.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

How do you turn
this fucking thing on?

♪ And he said bide,
lady, bide ♪

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

No, no, no!

♪ Why do you sit there
lady fair ♪

♪ All in your robes of red ♪

♪ I'll come tomorrow
at this same time ♪

- ♪ And have you in me bed ♪
- Oh my God.

Fuck sakes,
get the key in the lock,

insert, insert!

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

♪ Away, away
you coal black smith ♪

♪ Would you do me wrong ♪

♪ For to think
to have me maiden head ♪

♪ That I have kept so long ♪

♪ I'd rather
I was dead and cold ♪

♪ And me body
laid in the grave ♪

♪ Than a lusty, dusty,
coal black smith ♪

♪ Me maiden head
should have ♪

♪ And he said bide,
lady, bide ♪

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

Just give them to me.
Give them.

Arresting you
on suspicion of...

♪ That he would have
her maiden head ♪

♪ For the half
of that or less ♪

- Fuck off!
- ♪ Crying bide, lady, bide ♪

♪ There's nowhere
you can hide ♪

♪ For the lusty smith
will be your love ♪

♪ And he will lay
your pride ♪

Ouch.

I want to go home.

♪ It was pleasant
and delightful ♪

♪ on a midsummer's morn ♪

♪ Where the green fields
and meadows ♪

♪ were buried in corn ♪

♪ And the blackbirds
and thrushes ♪

♪ sang on every green tree ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ at the dawning
of the day ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ And the larks
they sang melodious ♪

♪ At the dawning
of the day ♪

Two weeks on, Father,

what's the mood been like
for you in the parish?

Well, as I said,
we're in shock, deep shock.

We saw no signs
of the disturbance

of those boys.

No warning.

We just wish
we could have done more.

And what about those
suggesting some link

between the church and...

Oh, absolutely not, no.

No, an ill mind
is an ill mind.

There's nothing Christian
about it.

I mean, put it like this.

Parishioners are coming back
to the church

who haven't attended
for 20 years,

and that's because,
at moments like this,

there is nothing
more powerful

than community
and Christian love.

Professor,
care to add anything?

No, I'm... I'm not gonna bite.

This is hardly the time.

But I would just add
that I feel oddly grateful

for the experience.

I mean, I hug my kids
a little tighter each night.

I... I kiss my wife
a little more often.

Is this a softer side
to Professor Huxley

that will be evidenced
in future work?

Look, both Enoch and I

might seem
somewhat divisive figures.

I mean, we'd hardly share
a platform like this

in the normal course
of events.

But we both
vehemently reject

the terrorism
embraced by these young men,

particularly
in this day and age.

We understand
the importance

of putting aside
our differences

at a time when common humanity
must come to the fore.

Amen.

Professor Huxley,
Father Enoch,

thank you very much.

You'll be
sticking around

for a look
at tomorrow's headlines.

Oh, we're not going anywhere.

Fantastic.

Back now to the suspected
terror attack in Rome.

- ♪ Oh I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ In the Lord up above ♪

- ♪ Oh, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I've been saved ♪

♪ By His sweet,
sweet, sweet love ♪

- ♪ Oh, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ That the Lord
He loves us all ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I will answer
when my sweet Jesus calls ♪

♪ I was weak,
but now I'm strong ♪

♪ For His love guides me
all day long ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ Oh, yes, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe,
oh, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Oh, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ In the Lord up above ♪

- ♪ Oh I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I've been saved ♪

♪ By His sweet,
sweet, sweet love ♪

- ♪ Oh, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ That the Lord
He loves us all ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I will answer
when my sweet Jesus calls ♪

♪ I was weak,
but now I'm strong ♪

♪ For His love guides me
all day long ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ Oh, yes, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe ♪

♪ I believe,
oh, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Well, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

- ♪ I said I do believe ♪
- ♪ I believe ♪

♪ In the Lord up above ♪

♪ I've been saved
by His sweet, sweet love ♪

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull