Original subtitles

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This is what my dad calls The Canavaro Wall.

In our family, going back 100 years,

rugby's more than a religion, it's a duty, an obligation.

Great-grandfathers, grandfathers and uncles,

all great rugby players or even internationals.

My dad, Doumiac's legendary fly-half,

always says with pride,

"Canavaro's a trademark. Woe betide he who breaks the mould!"

That's my dad.

Jo, we have to wear ties?

Yeah.

I look like a pig in a tiara.

Here, put this on, son.

We're not going to a wedding, dad.

Give us some space, Pompon.

Sorry, just adjusting it.

Put this on, Tom.

Sorry, but that's more like it.

Know the story of this blazer?

I wore it for the semi-final against Agen in 1982.

Take that, kiddo.

With that on, I bet you lost.

Beautiful, huh?

Yes, Pompon, that's why we live here.

The ref lost us the game, not the blazer.

Instead of cracking jokes, concentrate on your trial.

Remember, we still haven't found you a club.

Get your knees up, Tom.

Knees up!

The knees get your feet moving, son.

So you can run, dammit!

Jo, give him a break.

I can't talk to my son now? Alright, I get it...

Guys, the red number 10 is Jo's boy.

He is my boy, after all.

Knock-on!

Great start.

Tom! Balance!

Frontignan's here.

That's all we need.

His legs! Take his legs!

Great, Titi!

Great work, kid!

C'mon, Titi!

Titi's old man had better shut up.

Good, Tom, that's better.

Forward pass.

What forward pass? Where?

He's a pillock!

Invest in some glasses, ref!

Amazing!

Watch out, reds.

You're offside. Get back.

Take his legs!

Go low! Take his legs!

Go, Titi!

Go on, son!

Tackle him!

You can see he's scared.

Great try, Titi!

Please, Jo, not today.

But one more word out of him and he'll be sneezing blood.

Great, Titi! You're the best, son!

He gave me a dead leg, the little fairy!

In rugby, you have to tackle!

You wanna be an All Black?

You know what it's like in New Zealand?

You play rugby or you're a sheep. You'd make a good sweater!

I wasn't scared! Teach me to tackle if you're so good.

Teach you to tackle?

You can't teach tackling. Did I learn to tackle?

Tackling's like tripe sausage. You love it or you hate it.

Help me, Jo, it's itching.

Hold on, put your head back.

You're a pain, Jo.

Picking a fight wherever you go. I won't help you next time.

You don't help me. Are you nuts? You take part.

Not to mention the knock-on!

We'll buy you some new hands.

The kick-off and you knock it on! I curled up in shame!

I was so ashamed!

Talking of shame, who started a fight after the game?

Do you know what Jo Canavaro's son is gonna do?

What?

You know what?

Take your jersey!

Take your rugby

and stuff it!

I'm sick of it!

What's with the tantrum?

I never forced you to play rugby!

Come back here!

That's right, go play with your doll's house!

I'm the one who should be crying! Am I crying?

I'm sorry, Jo.

We can't take your boy.

Give him a chance, Pilou.

You can't judge a kid on one game.

Jo, let's get this straight.

We've won the Challenge 3 years running.

This year, the kids have a shot at the championship, get it?

So we don't need your son.

Mr Frontignan, the chairman, just left.

Goodbye.

Okay, I get it.

RMC Morning Show, it's 6:59.

In a moment, the news.

Are you coming? I have lots to do today.

Pompon, what do you have to do that's so urgent?

Lots. You're busy-busy, me too.

I've got big plans.

A massive leap forward.

First, Pim-Pam, paint the lines and fill the holes.

That's top of the list.

Morning, Mr Pompon.

Morning, Mrs Quentin.

How are you?

Getting by.

Have a good day!

You too, Mrs Quentin.

Pompon, get out there and do the lines.

I'll start with the holes.

That's great, the holes first.

You're a pain, Jo.

Mrs Quentin? Jesus!

Move it, we're late.

Why'd this chump call me in? Are you acting up at school?

No, I'm not.

He's not a chump, he's the new Deputy Head.

He wants to see all the parents.

If you took an interest, you'd see 17/20 in Math and 15 in French.

17/20 in Math? Bravo!

Mind you, the question is,

what use are Math unless you're a mathematician?

Look at your Math teacher. A face like mashed potatoes.

30 years sitting there. Hell of a future!

You can't do anything without Math, dad.

That's a good one. Where do Math get you? Tell me.

Airline pilot, perhaps?

Come back to earth, son. This is Doumiac.

Did your dad need Math to succeed? Straight up?

Builder, a real trade

Why not King of Morocco?

I have good news.

I'm teaching you to tackle.

Dad, you don't get it.

Count me out.

Son, life's about hard work.

You're a Canavaro, don't forget it.

How many electricity poles to school?

What?

52.

I really needed to know there's 52 poles from home to school.

At the same time,

you're right to count them

because the mayor has a guy who wants rid of them,

and he's a stubborn fellow.

Who is he?

Butt Crack.

27-26, my friend!

We said anytime, anyplace, anyhow,

so give it up. That's going on the scoreboard.

52 poles...

I've raised an accountant. How'd that happen?

Alice,

sorry, I've a tiny problem to settle. I won't be long.

Jo Canavaro himself.

To what do I owe the honor?

Of all your low blows, yesterday's hurt the most.

Using a boy to get at his dad, you slimy creep!

Don't worry, we'll meet again.

He's collecting conkers now?

Honestly!

Chinky!

Why are you here?

Don't we have an appointment?

Are you taking the piss?

Robert Cahusac, Deputy Headmaster.

Rips you a new one, huh?

It's been ages, Chinky!

Christ, yes!

C'mon, RC Doumiac!

Fuck it, Chinky man!

- You haven't changed. - You neither.

Jesus wept!

15 years in New Zealand?

Yup, playing rugby.

Brawling like it was going out of fashion.

I became the local legend.

Then I stayed on to take stock...

And let things die down back here.

You'd used up the stock of local women, remember.

That's all bullshit, Jo.

Sure.

Mind you, over there, you can't move for sheep.

I munched some wool!

A wolf among sheep gobbles them up.

Amen!

Things have changed round here.

The boy's mother, Camille, what have you done with her?

Camille died.

In a car crash.

Tom was 1 year old.

I'm sorry, Jo.

- You never started over? - With a woman?

Yes, a woman, with tits and all.

Tom and me have spent 12 years together.

Bring in a woman...

It's not right, y'know.

Sure, but what about...

I've mastered that.

That's Bolt's girl.

The chick you're drooling over is Bolt's daughter.

She is? Bolt struck lucky!

If you don't wanna play, you don't play.

Leave this to Pompon.

When Pompon's around, pain hits the ground.

Comes a time when your dad gets right on my nerves, too.

Tom collects conkers, you conked people out.

- That's life. - Let me tell you...

I've bought him 22 balls. He never took one to school.

For me, that sums it up.

Careful, you're peeing on my shoes.

What are you gawking at?

I thought maybe it had fallen off from lack of use.

Let's show 'em who the real men are.

Okay, I get it.

Captain! Come over here!

We've got tonight's winners.

What's the prize?

Joking aside, let me see your documents.

- I don't have them. - Sorry?

But I can explain...

When I go out, I have a skinful,

and then I lose them.

If I don't take them with me,

I don't lose them.

It's logical.

Yeah, right.

We've landed 2 comedians.

- Jo, you okay? - Great!

Chinky! In the flesh, how about that!

I heard you were back, but seeing you's a shock every time.

Beanstalk! You're still with the boys in blue?

A man's gotta do...

Guys!

You didn't just have strawberry sorbet.

That's what we ordered, but the freezer was bust.

Sure...

You were at the Milord?

- Not long. - Okay, you were.

They were at the Milord. You wouldn't know it.

Don't let it happen again. Take it easy.

Can I trust you?

- Beanstalk, we love you! - Same here.

Know who they are?

No.

Gods!

We need to talk. It's about Tom.

He's giving up rugby. That's the truth.

He's gonna blow his top.

Jeez, there he is!

C'mon, Pompon!

We need to talk.

It's about Tom. Y'see...

Y'see nothing, okay?

Okay.

The lines.

Damn, Pompon!

I was so close.

- Everything okay, kids? - Yes, sir.

- You'll take my study period? - Yes, Mr Cahusac.

Thanks, that's sweet of you.

Miss Dintrans,

keep an eye on Mr Cahusac.

He's not your usual Deputy Head, believe me.

Hey, Tom.

Not playing?

No, sir.

You look like you're dying to. What's the problem?

I want to but...

The problem's my dad.

I only ever played well when he wasn't there.

And as he's always there...

If you talk to your dad, he'll listen.

You've never met my dad.

You know what the Maoris say?

Kia kaha, kia toa.

It means, Be proud, be strong.

They also say,

Nobody can stop you being who you want. Except you.

Nobody. Not even your dad.

Not just the All Blacks say that.

You know some All Blacks?

I played against them in Wellington.

We got our arses kicked.

Surprise me.

You want to be coached by an All Black?

We'll talk about the All Blacks after school.

Don't tell your dad. I may not have met him,

but I sense he won't be happy.

Shit!

- Hi, Cathy. - Hi, Jo.

Bolt!

10 years of sulking, aren't you tired of it?

Have it your way.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

Let me remind you we're opening Doumiac fete.

I can tell you now, we'll work day and night if needs be.

I want perfection.

Thanks for dropping by. Come in.

Take a seat. No, sit down there.

Sorry about the noise. You know Bolt.

He thinks it's the NY Philharmonic.

It's fine, it's festive. Reminds me of match day.

You've heard Bois de France has been taken over?

The factory's reopening.

I'll make this year's fete a good one.

That's great.

Why did you want to see me?

Actually...

How can I put it?

I wanted to see you

about a little problem

because...

Where you live now

with Tom and what's his name?

Pompon.

Well, it's municipal land and we sold it...

There you go!

You didn't know?

You sold it?

What the hell, is this a joke?

We sold it to the English owners of Bois de France.

Or else the deal would have fallen through.

You see?

You let them sell

the field Grandpa Canavaro built in 1903.

We've always lived there.

Bernard, you must be joking.

It's not your land. I mean, not anymore.

Your great-grandfather gave it to the council, which makes it ours.

Do you know why he did that?

So a Canavaro wouldn't sell it off.

Sorry, Jo, but y'know,

your family's more lumberjack than Nobel prize.

So you sold it off instead?

I can't say it surprises me of you.

At rugby, you only ever hit guys when they were down.

To you, Jo!

To your wife, Camille

and your son, Tom!

Guys, let the match begin!

Look at daddy.

Isn’t he good?

Isn’t daddy a great player?

The idiot's asleep!

I'm sorry, Jo.

We can't take your boy.

We don't need your son.

Take your rugby and stuff it!

I'm scared, just so scared...

It was sold.

Let's get this straight.

We don't need your son.

Wake up, son, we need to talk.

C'mon, Pompon!

Wake up!

This wall means something.

I'll keep it simple. We'll start a team.

And you, Tom,

will show them all who you are.

That's all, gentlemen.

Goodnight.

The English buy Bois de France and kick you out?

Incredible!

Yeah, English guys like him.

See how he walks?

With a carrot in his arse!

- Not grated carrots either. - No way!

Who gets first go at the guy?

Me!

Gentlemen, good morning.

Alice Hamilton,

the new CEO of Bois de France.

Robert Cahusac, Deputy Headmaster, aka Chinky.

Pompon,

like two poms put together.

And you're Mr Canavaro, I suppose?

You asked to see me?

Jo, go ahead.

You wanted first go.

Thanks, pal. I get it.

Well...

We want to start a youth rugby team.

It's a fine sport, as you know, being English.

We'll be playing for the Challenge Cup,

which is a serious competition.

So we thought

you might let us stay on until it's over.

That's what we thought.

Yes, that's right.

Didn't we, Jo?

I'd like to point out I'm Irish, Mr Cahusac.

Not English.

The pitch will be used for our stock. I need it.

I can't help you.

Look!

Let's go, dad.

I never lived there and I want to cry. Don't let me cry.

My granddad said I'd go to boarding school if I cried...

That's a point, I've never cried.

Sure, you've cried.

I never have.

You did. At Grandpa's funeral.

How do you know? You weren't there.

Someone told me.

Who told you I cried at Grandpa's funeral? Let's hear it.

Who?

Butt Crack.

You find that funny?

Look at the two idiots.

It is funny.

Sorry.

Bolt gives it his all.

He has his plume up.

I don't think I can watch.

Up a little bit on the left. It's not centered.

What do you mean?

It's bang in the middle.

Look, if you don't believe me. It's not centered.

Look...

Stop it!

It's right in the middle and not centered.

Get it?

Comes a time when you don't ask if you won't listen.

Comes a time when I need some help.

It's not me who's moving house.

Give him a hand. It's not centered.

In the middle, centered...

You're a pain, Jo.

Come and see what centered means!

There you are. The gas and electricity are back on.

I think you'll like it here.

Anyway, it's been up for sale for 10 years,

so if it helps you out...

Yes, it's a godsend. Thank you.

Hello, Mr Pompon.

Hello, Mrs Quentin.

How are you today?

Getting by.

I'll be going.

Goodbye, Mrs Quentin.

If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask, Mr Pompon.

That's kind, really very kind of you.

You're too kind, Mrs Quentin.

Listen to him! Honestly!

Can you put up a friend of mine? I don't have room.

No problem. Your friends are my friends.

Thanks.

I'm ready, let's go.

You're ready? That's new.

You want to play rugby now?

Butt Crack Scores

27-27, agreed?

If you say so.

Come back, guys!

Okay, let's do some stretching.

You'll be very happy here, Alice.

I apologize for the neighbors.

They're not the brightest.

C'mon, lower.

We could recruit some players, Jo.

Don't worry,

when news gets out about Canavaro's team, they'll flock in,

no sweat.

Champagne to celebrate your arrival.

That's kind, but I'd rather be alone tonight.

I need to unpack.

Isn’t life swell?

Jeez, we've already done 10.

Let's make it 11.

- C'mon, push! - Doumiac!

Hold on, here comes trouble.

Mr Frontignan, looking for a slap.

Get over it, Chinky. That's all in the past.

The good ol' days!

Now I slap people down.

How are you, Jo?

You've moved, so I hear.

And started a team for your boy.

That's good. It's taking shape, I see.

You got a nice field.

- Why are you here? - You don't know why I'm here?

The 1st Challenge Cup match

is in six weeks, against us.

You wanna make Tom look a fool again?

Know what?

I feel sorry for you.

In six weeks...

Why don't you just clock him one?

It'd do him a favor. I'll help.

A jerk isn't like a nail.

Hitting him on the head doesn't get you anywhere.

Isn’t that right, Pompon?

Training's over.

You got the nail thing?

Yes, he's like nailing jelly to a wall.

What do you mean, Rocky? I heard he was doing well.

No way! Nobody will work with him.

Today, Jo's riddled with debts.

What's his problem with Frontignan? I'm lost.

It's simple.

Camille was lined up to become Mrs Frontignan

in his palace in Castelroc.

Instead, she chose to live in a clubhouse in Doumiac.

It stuck in Frontignan's throat.

So, to get back at Jo,

he killed rugby in Doumiac.

He's brainwashed all of you.

For sure.

What about the money then? Will you help us?

How do I justify lending 10 to a guy who owes 50?

Rocky...

I'll see what I can do.

See? When you really want to...

See ya, Rocky.

- Chinky? - Yeah?

You remember my wife, Marie?

Yeah, Marie, sure...

I was wondering if you and her back then...

You know, you had a reputation with married women, so...

Please, don't lie to me.

Rocky, honestly...

That Frontignan's a real fucker!

That makes 50 meters.

Count again, that's not 50m.

You're a pain, Jo.

Go on!

Where'd you find that one?

Pompon's Pompon.

Rocked up 13 years ago with a moped and suitcase.

Helped me cut lemons at half-time and never left.

He said he'd been round the world, his dad was an ambassador,

and we nodded our heads.

Actually, I think

he was fostered out.

Trouble is, every year, on All Souls' Day,

he puts flowers on his mother's grave.

For an orphan, that's pretty rare.

He could have a mother.

Yeah, but it's never the same grave.

You're right, an interesting case.

50!

You're blind! What did I tell you?

Talking of interesting cases, why'd you never get married?

To get married, you have to be ready.

Platform 1...

The train from Rabastens is entering the station...

- Hi, Titou. - Hi, Pompon.

- You okay? - Top of the world.

Today's the big day? You're leaving?

The big day.

Have a good trip.

Thanks, Titou.

C'mon, Pompon...

Stand clear of the doors!

Hello, Mado.

Robert!

I wanted to say

I apologize for last time. I left in a bit of a hurry.

I needed to think it over,

take the time to reach the right decision, you see.

I'm ready now.

Robert, that was 15 years ago.

Yeah.

I waited a year or two then...

Mado?

A problem?

No, wrong house.

I started over.

So I see.

I'm happy.

That's good.

I'm glad to have seen you again.

What's up? It's 7 a.m.

You said drop by. Here I am.

Give me some warning next time.

Bolt's daughter!

I got sick last night, see?

Is that so?

- Must be the clams or the lentils... - Lentils, sure.

Tackling's all about the shoulder.

No shoulder, no tackle.

If you ask me, the valve's jammed.

The valve? That's not all that's jammed.

And again. Chubby!

Tom, use your shoulder! Come on!

You're scared. Come here.

- Shit! - There you go.

What?

I told you not to put your finger in.

Tell me...

When a guy bullies you at school, what do you do?

I get it. You're scared.

So, when a guy bullies you at school,

you have to apply the Canavaro theorem.

You give him a big whack in his little mug.

For 10,000 years, scientists tried other solutions,

but for problems like this, nothing worked better.

Who dares wins, Tom.

All that for Jo's boy.

Who'd trust Jo Canavaro with their kid? What a loser!

Even with a full team, Castelroc will smash them.

He should take up ping-pong.

Here he is. Tell him in person.

He's all yours. He's in great shape.

Gotta go. I've plastered the town.

Keep plastering.

Have fun!

Gents...

Hi, Jo.

Thanks, see you soon.

Jesus! Chinky!

Bolt...

- The terror of Doumiac! - How are you?

Watch out, gentlemen, hide your chicks,

the cockerel is back!

- There you are. - Listen up...

Don't ask me to help with your team.

Jo and me fell out ten years ago.

- And don't ask me why. - Sure, Bolt.

Which way you headed?

- I'm going this way. - Me, too.

Actually, I left something in my car. I'll call you...

Hold on, Chinky.

- You remember Fanfan? - Fanfan?

My daughter!

Yeah, your little girl, sure I remember her.

Look at her.

- Look, she's over there. - Where?

- There! - Where?

Yeah, Fanfan...

Shit, she's changed!

Chinky...

She's 28 today.

28? Nearly a woman at that age.

- Watch out. - For what?

Anybody hurts her, he gets the Bolt Tacktack.

- Let's meet up. - Sure, we'll meet up.

- See you, Chinky. - See you, Bolt.

Chinky's an old friend.

I was right about rugby. You're getting a taste for it.

Was Chinky a great player, dad?

Chinky was a real cheat, sure.

But he was a man you'd go to war with,

full of hair and a sense of honor,

dignity and bravery. Do they teach you that at school now?

If you met my teachers, you'd know.

Yeah, right.

Teachers and referees

give me a rash. Math teachers especially.

Say, Tom...

I never see you with girls. Is that normal?

Don't you know a girl you think is pretty?

Instead of Chubby.

I never saw you with a girl, just Pompon. Same, isn't it?

No, it's not. Are you nuts?

- It is the same. - Not Pompon! It's not the same.

Dad, can I ask you something?

When can I have a mobile like all my friends?

Never.

Hi, you OK? Yeah, I'm OK.

What we doing later? Right, OK...

All day long on the phone like that, no way!

There's more to life.

Never!

Stand up, class!

Please, sit down.

This is Fanny Hamilton. She's Irish

and speaks little French.

I'd like you all to be very nice to her.

Take a seat there.

As I was saying,

in Pythagoras' theorem,

we have a right-angle triangle, don't we?

Tell your dad, if you pick me, I'll kick some ass.

I know you will, Chubby.

Gentlemen...

What's going on, Miss Dintrans?

Mr Cahusac's called in parents to discuss

their children's lack of application.

Good. Very good...

He's doing his job.

What does it say?

Puissaguay, Antoine. 5/20 overall in French,

History 3/20. It's only learning dates.

Math. "Discipline poor, disrupts the class."

12 hours' detention in a single month.

I'm not sure what we can do for him.

This is catastrophic.

What can I say?

However, I took a look at his file in sports.

He's top at physical education. 20/20.

Perfect, and he's good at rugby, I believe.

Rugby, for sure, he's good.

Good or very good?

Very, very good.

Where does he play?

For Moissac.

Moissac?

That's a real pity.

Unless...

we find an arrangement...

Mr Puissaguay.

Mr Porcu?

Don't worry, Jo.

I put posters all over. The kids'll come eventually.

By the way...

I forgot to mention...

Did he come to see you...

that guy, last Wednesday...

You don't want to know who?

Give me a nail.

Pompon, you're useless.

Say, Pompon...

You never feel like screaming?

Why?

To express something, make yourself heard.

Why?

Why? Why?

To be your own man, dammit!

When I laugh, you laugh.

I cry, you cry.

I say it's hot, you sweat.

It's all so lame.

Wake yourself up, you're a shadow.

What happens to shadows?

When the sun's at high noon...

they disappear.

You need more nails?

Let's try something, okay?

When I count to 3, you go that way...

and I go that way.

Let's do it.

Okay.

1...

2...

and 3!

- Let's just finish the fence. - Right.

If you need nails, we've got stacks.

It's okay, I've got one.

Jo...

I like being with you.

Same here.

Can I have a word?

Sure.

I'd no idea a family lived there for 100 years.

I didn't mean to kick you out.

I'm sorry.

You're having problems?

It won't start.

Is the choke out?

- I'm not sure. - You'll flood the engine.

Push it in and try again.

I've the same model in Ireland.

The choke? I'd be surprised...

Goodbye.

The valve!

An hour pissed away thanks to those 2 idiots!

Know when you really hurt me?

When you told me Santa Claus didn't exist.

I was 5 years old.

That's right.

It was better you found out early.

Life isn't Christmas every day.

You're wrong about Santa Claus.

I'm sure he exists.

You know who it is?

Pompon plays Butt Crack better.

You won't score with a pathetic effort like that.

What the heck...

Everybody out!

It's Santa Claus.

Mr Chinky?

We're agreed about my son then?

You have my word.

If you have it, I gave you it.

But we still need your bus. Agreed?

No problem.

That's all right then.

You okay?

Looks like there's a rugby team taking shape.

Look, they're all yours.

I gotta run, I'll explain later.

I have a job to do.

I'll be off then!

So, Mr Canavaro,

where's the All Black?

- The All Black. - The session with an All Black.

It's today, isn't it?

I brought my camera along.

Chinky!

Yeah?

What's the problem?

Jonah Tukalo, flying in from New Zealand

to coach my team and my son.

I never said he'd coach. I just let the parents know.

And you agreed to put him up.

The friend coming for a visit is him?

Now I understand Tom's sudden interest in rugby.

Try boxing, you're always ducking and weaving.

You make a good sparring partner.

Rocky says you're up to your eyes in debt.

Then there's Frontignan...

Bolt's girl was because I was down.

She was alone, I was alone. Loneliness does that.

Don't bust my balls with your moralizing.

When I left, you had the world at your feet.

I come back and what do I find? An empty shell.

Here come the lamb chops, guys. Pompon's chops!

A barbecue when it's -12, great idea.

Isn't it amazing?

You're an All Black now, son. Good for you.

I'm deeply touched.

To Jonah!

It's Fanny.

She's hot stuff, the Irishwoman.

Your son invited my daughter, so I brought her over.

We'll take good care of her.

You can keep talking.

Do you want to...

No, I have to...

I'll bring her back before evening.

Goodbye.

What?

We had a little game and she wanted to join in.

Yes, rugby.

Do you want to...

No, I have to...

Fanny's a pretty one. If I were you...

They're both pretty, dad.

Yeah...

Fanny especially.

Move it the other way.

Pass! That's right!

Great take, well done!

What are you doing?

We have 3 friendlies to become a team.

Rugby's simple. 1st, you need balls.

2nd, you need balls. 3rd, you need balls.

Way to go.

40-0. Luckily, humiliation isn't fatal.

Don't let me pressure you, but I expect better next game.

Good! Pass it!

50-6. Sorry, I'm speechless.

Why not let the All Black coach them for the next game?

That's what I call rugby!

Should've tried the Kiwi earlier!

If they do the Auckland...

That's good, Antoine!

Brilliant.

Well done, lads.

Get in position.

That's real rugby!

Bye, dad!

Need a ride, son?

No, I'm okay.

You take a ball to school now?

Sure!

Sure? You never did before.

See you!

Great varnish!

Yeah, great.

Keep up the good work!

Jo, he paints like a pro!

No, get these. Ready-to-use wipes.

Disposable. They're very practical.

Thanks.

No wipes in Ireland?

You're making soup?

- Pot roast. - I love pot roast.

I make it now and then.

What cut of beef?

The shoulder?

- I bet you use shoulder. - Shoulder, yes.

You mustn't.

Shoulder is...

It's tough, not tender.

For pot roast, you need knuckle of veal and chuck.

But seriously...

You have pot roast in Ireland?

Yes, we do have pot roast in Ireland, Mr Canavaro.

We have wipes, too!

Mr Cahusac,

promising to move pupils up a class

in order to get them to join your rugby team...

What were you thinking of?

Actually, I...

I had to grasp what was going on,

and as you were a pupil here,

I decided to take a look in the archives.

Class 3C, 1974.

First term...

"Slumbering."

Second term...

"Totally dormant."

Third term...

"Extinct."

Except when "Caught in the girls' toilets."

As I'm sure you can imagine,

this merits a report to the Board.

Colette...

Do you mind if I call you Colette?

No.

Wait for me!

Well played, Tom!

About Tom,

I came to have

the chance to discuss with you

guidance for the future.

But...

I mean...

Looking at it globally ideologically...

Hi, Titou.

- Today's the big day? - Yup, today's the big day.

Stand clear of the doors!

While our children play together,

I thought we could perhaps make...

a pot roast.

Why exile yourself in Doumiac?

My grandfather was born here. He founded Bois de France.

He dreamed of relaunching it

but he died last year,

so I decided

to fulfill his dream.

Then I'll go back to Ireland.

We need to talk.

I'm going to have to destroy your field.

Yeah, I know.

But the pitch isn't the most important thing I'm losing.

- Can I come in, son? - Sure, dad.

I thought we could train together tomorrow.

Give you a few tips for Sunday's match.

I can't. We have sprint work with Jonah.

You read Rugby News now?

That explains your bad marks.

Careful, Tom...

rugby isn't everything.

There's your studies, too. I mean, your studies...

Right? I mean...

That wasn't Fifi's dad who drove you home.

- Who gave you a lift? - We hitched.

At this time of night? With Fanny!

What can happen with Jonah around?

I'll have a word with the monster.

Come out of your cave.

I think.

Excuse me, guys, don't let me bother you.

I have important stuff to do, too.

Finished playing the big Jo? We can train?

Your son's playing Castelroc Sunday, remember.

Nobody needs me now.

Everybody's so sure of winning, I'm of no use.

Give me a clothes peg.

So what happens next? You stick to the laundry?

No, I think.

I ask myself questions I always dodged. Serious stuff.

By the way, tell your sheep-shagging friend

that I can't get centered in a corner of the field.

He didn't say you could, but games kick off in the middle.

It's your call.

Sit on your problems or get up and choose the future.

Choosing the future will be like kicking off again.

That's what he was telling you.

And if you want my advice, I'd choose the future.

And the future is your son. But it's up to you now.

Whose are the pretty panties?

My mother.

I'm so sorry.

Pompon, what's your first name?

Jean-Paul.

I like Jean-Paul.

Thanks, Mrs Hamilton.

I'm looking for Tom's mother's grave, but I can't find it.

Actually...

She wasn't buried.

She was incinerated. And her ashes...

Her ashes?

If I tell you, promise me...

Usually,

Pompon's silent as the grave.

Jo took Camille's ashes

and scattered them

on the field

you bought.

Watch out, the door's temperamental.

Canavaro, father and son.

Of course.

Table 9 for these gentlemen.

It's all organized?

- Isn’t it great here? - Sure, it is.

Check out the tiling, admire the workmanship.

What about that?

This is where...

I first told your mother...

that...

That what?

What do you think, smartypants?

Let's order.

Please...

- Gentlemen? - Right.

Gizzard salad to start.

Followed by rib of beef and Sarlat potatoes.

- The rib's for two people, sir. - Perfect!

I'll have the steamed vegetables with chicory, please.

It's a restaurant, not a hospital.

Sorry, sir, we're out of chicory.

What a shame!

What? Is there a problem?

A parcel under the table for you.

There's something under the table.

Chicory, maybe, who knows?

What's that?

May I?

Sure.

I chose it all by myself.

It does it all.

Calculator,

camera,

telephone even, you'll see.

Thanks, dad.

- Can I ask you something? - What, son?

Why are there no photos of mum at home?

I see her everywhere, every day of the last 13 years.

I don't need photos.

I miss her, you know.

She was beautiful.

Your mother wasn't just beautiful.

She was the only one.

It's a long time since we played

slap-tag.

- You sneak! - Nothing sneaky about it!

You can't get me. The tree's home.

The tree's home?

Home!

C'mon, kid! Run!

I'm still too fast for you.

Why invite me here, Alice?

To give back what belongs to you.

Why?

Why do you think?

Conker Festival

Hi!

Jo, how come you fell out with Bolt?

10 years ago, I said in public

he wimped out of the punch-up in that Toulon game. Remember?

You bet!

He wouldn't admit it. He said, Bolt doesn't wimp out.

And he slammed the clubhouse door.

- 10 years not speaking for that? - Precisely.

He's even dumber than you.

He's even dumber than you!

But I remember, he ran for cover in Toulon.

You see!

C'mon, guys...

To Doumiac!

Just look at them.

- Who's gonna win tomorrow? - Castelroc! Heads of rock!

Dough heads, you mean!

Colette!

Excuse me...

Colette, the headmistress? That takes the biscuit!

Have you something to hide?

No.

The other day, what did we find in the laundry?

A pair of panties.

Not mine, not Tom's,

and definitely not Chinky's.

I swear, they're not mine!

Of course, Mrs Quentin!

Morning, Mrs Quentin!

Thank you, Mrs Quentin!

Comes a time, Mrs Quentin forgets her panties

in the laundry basket.

Comes a time...

You hooligan!

He busts up the place when he's drunk?

Let's hope New Zealand never gets attacked.

Go teach those scumbags how to dance.

- Why me, Mr Chairman? - Does Jo scare you?

Of course not.

Take the boys then. Strength in numbers!

C'mon, boys, with me.

Jo!

Can you make room on the dance floor for me and my friends?

What's up? Hormones playing up?

Pipe down, you don't scare me.

Two types of guys wear ties like yours.

Fairies and cowboys. Did you come on a horse?

You call me a fairy?

You're an idiot, Albert.

I hope Doumiac wins.

Excuse me, Jo.

What do you want, you clown?

Did you call my friend Jo Canavaro a fairy?

Listen up.

Say that one more time

and you'll get a Conker Festival and Bolt's Tacktack.

We don't need you, Bolt, we can handle this.

Tonight, Bolt won't be wimping out.

He never wimps out!

Sure, Bolt.

That's what I call tack-tack.

Who woke him up? Now we have to go for it.

Two hours he's been sitting there.

Something's wrong.

Got into a fight again?

This time it wasn't my fault.

I won't play this afternoon.

I had a nightmare.

I played awfully.

I'll never come up to your expectations.

You know...

One day, I got a call at home.

It was the French national team coach.

I was barely 20.

England-France at Twickenham. My first cap.

The whole Canavaro clan was there.

But...

the night before the match...

I couldn't sleep. Not a wink, a complete nightmare.

I woke up totally exhausted.

I was so scared

of making a fool of myself...

Yes...

Your dad was scared.

I faked an injury,

thinking I'd feel better next time around.

But...

There was no next time.

Whatever happens...

I've had two wonderful months with you.

I love you, son.

Rico...

You're the boss.

Lead them out. They're relying on you.

Us too, okay?

We joined this team for Tom. We're sad he's not here.

We'll give it all we've got.

Thanks.

Three more points!

Well played, Tom!

Well played!

Great play, son!

Great play!

Back in position! Quickly!

Back in position!

Put a sock in it.

Don't you think you can win?

I don't believe it!

Look at them.

Not laughing now.

Stay focused. Let's go back up there!

Offside, blue!

Who is this pillock?

Call yourself a ref?

Pillock!

Shit!

Offside, blue!

Half-time!

That's good to hear!

Say something, dammit!

Closer, boys! We're losing but we're playing well.

Because we're in it together.

You were amazing!

So let's fight for each other!

Enjoy it! We have 40 minutes!

I want to see Doumiac out there! C'mon, Doumiac!

Let's go!

Advantage!

In the gap!

Well played!

You're going on.

- I'll smash 'em, coach. - Don't smash the stands.

He'll take 2 days to get out there.

Go, Chubby!

Well played, Chubby!

Go all the way!

All the way!

Calm down!

Calm down? He stuffed us! Great match!

- Good stuff, Chubby! - Do it again!

You take it.

Who dares wins, Tom.

Are you scared?

Are you scared, Tom?

Thanks, Titi!

I don't believe it! Stay away from me!

I'm through!

Not my head!

I left a note with all Jonah's family's numbers.

And everybody else's.

If you have the slightest problem,

call me.

Comes a time when...

you gotta go.

Okay then, ticket...

Your inside pocket.

Inside pocket,

the train ticket.

When Pompon's gone,

he's gone.

- You'll only be gone a week. - Sure but...

You know what they say, a week's a week.

Take care.

Time to go.

That way.

That way?

I didn't see it there.

Here goes Pompon. Here he goes.

Goodbye.

Everything'll be fine. Climb aboard now...

The train, once it's gone, it's gone. Believe me.

See you, folks.

- Have a good trip! - C'mon, we'd better go...

See you, Jonah. See you, Pompon.

See you, Chinky.

Okay, Jonah, let's go.

We have our seats reserved.

And now a slap-up dinner!

- A real slap-up dinner! - No kidding!

It's on me.

Where we come from, women don't pay.

I insist.

All right then.

But a major slap-up meal then.

Let's try a little sandwich.

Sandwich, that's right.

Right...

Lend me your mobile, will you?

- What for? - Give me it, you'll see.

What are you up to?

Just watch.

Listen...

Who is this?

Butt Crack!

28-27, my boy!

That's cheating!

You're a bunch of cheats!

You wanted a mobile, you got a mobile.

- And you were in on it. - Naturally!

What's wrong?

I have an inkling...

For God's sake!

I can't do it.

Can we do it? Action?

He's cracking up.

What did you do for 15 years?

I'm on top of it.

What's his problem?

Take it easy, we're outnumbered.

Let's go.

You start.

We had it.

Let's just busk it.

Let's get some food.

You're filming?

We can't do that.

Sure, because of the sirens.

Close the doors, guys!

Mr Porcu...

Your turn.

Then it will be Mr Beefy's turn, okay?

Not easy being a cop, huh?

If I don't have them on me, I don't lose them.

If I don't have them...

- From the top. - Okay.

I don't have them on me,

so when I have a skinful,

that way...

Subtitles: Simon John

Subtitling: Eclair Video - Paris