Original subtitles

JOANNA: Welcome to Missouri, Joanna.

It's a relief to get away from all the hassles of Beverly Hills.

And, to be where there are more trees than people.

Mother gave a party for my graduation

that did not quite work out the way she planned.

As a matter of fact, it turned into a disaster.

Oh, well, I do speak a little French, so it helps a lot.

I've been looking all over for you.

Well, Mother, I was just talking to this interesting man.

You know, I've invited all of these influential people here

for you to meet and I find you gabbing with the help.

Mother, I... He's not help.

You know, I couldn't care less.

I just wish you'd show me some consideration.

I mean, for all the trouble that I've gone to arrange all of this.

JOANNA: Well, I tried circulating among

what mother loves to call the right people.

But all those fake smiles and phony compliments got to me.

And that last Mr. Right was about as wrong as Mother could get.

Oh, darling, I'd like you to meet Ted Hines.

Ted is a legend in the real estate business.

Your mother tells me you want to get into the business.

Yes, I was telling Ted how excited you are

about meeting with him next week, about joining his firm.

Mother, you know that's not true.

I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in real estate.

See, I majored in creative writing.

Well, that's great. Creative writing,

creative finance go hand in hand.

Well, thank you, Mr... Ted...

Mr. Ted, but I'm really not interested.

You can't be serious about this writing, Joanna.

I mean, even talented writers are starving to death.

Well, thank you very much for the vote of confidence, Mother.

But I am serious.

I can't believe that I have been studying

in a liberal arts college for four years,

studying to be a writer,

and you just push aside my feelings with no regard.

Joanna, it is time you dealt with reality.

Yes, Mother, I think you're right.

JOANNA: Well, I did it again. Me and my big mouth.

I guess I behaved badly,

but she just pushed me to where I didn't have a choice.

What are you going to do with mothers?

I suppose they're just necessary evils.

Have you stopped pouting?

(SIGHING) Mother, I'm sorry if I spoiled your party.

And I really appreciate your intentions.

But I just wish that you would check with me first

before you start making plans for my life.

I was only trying to do what I thought best for you, Joanna.

I realize that.

Look, Mother, I love you.

And I don't want to quarrel with you.

And I think we both need time to cool off,

so I have decided to go away.

Go away?

Joanna, you've been away for four years,

you gonna leave me again?

I've phoned Uncle Reece and I want to spend time at his summer place.

Oh, so you're going to the Ozarks.

What on earth would you want to go there for?

Because I want some peace and quiet.

I want to get away from all this stupid label dropping and pretense.

Some of the happiest times of my life

were when I was five years old and Daddy took me to see Uncle Reece.

And you don't think it might be a little bit awkward,

I mean, Reece is a bachelor. You might be in the way.

Well, if I were going to be in the way,

I'm sure he would have told me.

Look, just because things didn't work out between the two of you

doesn't mean that Reece and I won't get along.

Besides, he's the only family I have left on Daddy's side.

ELIZABETH: Well, if that's what'll make you happy.

(INAUDIBLE)

(SIREN WAILING)

Excuse me. Hello.

Howdy.

Could you tell me where Reece Morgan lives?

Well, I reckon trying to get there

would have made you half-crazy

if you hadn't stopped and asked.

It's a piece of driving past Inez Mumford's.

Ned, you remember an old crazy Inez Mumford,

took the left fork in the dark?

I sure do.

EZEKIAH: She got stuck feet first, knee-deep river mud.

Stood there yelling all night.

And come daybreak, she'd sweated so much,

cows thought she's a salt lick.

Made her half-crazy before they nudged her loose.

And hell. Inez been to college.

Thank you for your help.

Just remember, that road don't dead-end,

it just makes such a cantankerous left.

Unless you're afoot, but you'd stop right in front of the Reed's.

Thanks again.

Ezekiah, she said Reece Morgan's place,

not Reed Steward's place.

(EXCLAIMING)

Damn!

(MULES BLEATING)

Why don't you look where you're going!

Will you pipe down, you're scaring my mules!

I'm scaring your mules?

What about the fright they gave me?

You all right, miss?

Do I look all right? I wasn't hurt, no thanks to him.

You could have gotten me killed!

Those mules shouldn't be allowed on public roads.

Now just hold it right there.

Those mules go where I tell them to go.

And I told them to come on this road.

Of course, I wasn't expecting anybody else to come along.

Well, you should've looked.

You're lucky the damage isn't worse.

(BLEATS) Easy, Zig, take it easy, boy.

Hold it. Hold it. Everything's okay.

In case you haven't noticed, it happens to be my car

that is damaged, not your damn mules.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

And I'll pay you for the repairs on your car.

With what, some scrawny chickens?

With hard cold cash, if it takes every cent I got.

Nobody ever said that Jesse Bates doesn't pay his debts.

You just keep your money and forget it.

You know, I can understand you're being upset about the accident, miss.

That don't excuse your lack of manners.

That's right.

You don't insult the person by implying they haven't got the money to pay,

and then refuse to accept their offer.

I am certainly not in the mood for a lecture on manners.

I would just like to get out of here,

but it seems that I am stuck.

Well, we'd be glad to help you on your way.

I'll unhitch the mules and we'll pull her car back on the road.

Mules? Don't you have an auto club?

No, we don't have an auto club!

Hold up there, Jesse. I think I can get this thing out of here.

You be careful with that car,

it's not one of those pick-up trucks.

I've taken about all the sass I'm gonna take out of a woman.

Either you can shut up and stay out of the way,

or you can get your car out of here.

Which will it be?

(TIRES SCREECH)

Well, you got that dent in the right rear and that seems to be it.

Well, that's a small miracle. I suppose I should thank you.

I suppose you should.

Thank you.

Oh, excuse me.

My uncle has a cabin down this road. Reece Morgan.

Could you tell me how much farther it is?

(SIGHS)

No.

(LAUGHS)

Hi! Hi!

Joanna! Get over here! Uncle Reece! How you doing?

(GIGGLING) You sweetheart.

How nice to see you. You have trouble finding the place?

I don't want to talk about it right now.

The place looks just like I remember it when I was a little girl.

You were only five years old.

Oh, yeah, but I still remember those skinny little steps

and climbing this tree here. Wow!

Come on inside and I'll get you a glass of mountain water.

Oh, great, I sure could use it.

Oh, I remember that fireplace.

Do you really? Yes.

You were so small.

I remember we used to sit by the fireplace and make s'mores.

"S'mores"? What's that?

Oh, don't you remember? We'd use a piece of graham cracker,

and lay a little piece of chocolate on it,

and we'd set them by the fire.

And then we were roasting marshmallows, the chocolate would melt,

and then we'd mush them all together and eat them.

And I always wanted s'more.

(CHUCKLING)

Yeah, that's right. Hey, how well do you remember your Dad?

Oh, I just remember the little things like...

Like that same summer, we went walking in the woods,

and I was frightened by this strange light.

The woods' foxfire light. That's what the folks around here call it.

Yeah, I remember that summer. Last time I saw your Dad.

He claimed he saw foxfire light.

All the years I've been coming here, I've never seen anything.

Mmm.

You know, I've dreamt about it so many times, I thought that I imagined it.

So, it really does exist?

I guess so. How's your mother?

Impossible as always.

You know, when I was younger, I always used to wish that you could become my Daddy.

(LAUGHING)

Almost happened. But as you say, your mother's impossible.

(LAUGHING) Yeah.

I never knew what went on between you two,

and Mother wouldn't talk about it.

Well, it's no secret, really.

Went together for a while, I fell in love with her and...

One day it just ended.

Well, unfortunately, I don't think it ever ended for Mother.

Come on. I'll show you your room.

Same one as before from so long ago.

Good.

It's good to see you.

Oh, I'm glad to be here.

(MOANING)

Good. Now, I understand that.

Tom, I understand that.

Do not let them change the deal, do not let them back down.

Yeah, that's a bluff.

Look, either they deliver or we cancel the contract.

Absolutely no changes.

All right. Hey, Tom, remember I'm here on vacation, will you?

Just get along without me, okay?

All right. I'll talk to you later.

(EXHALES)

Trying to get away from business for a month, that's not too easy.

Hey, you look terrific. What would you like for breakfast?

Oh, nothing. I never eat in the morning.

What's on the agenda today?

Going for a trip to the hardware store into town.

Would you like to come?

Sure. Just give me a little while,

I'll get changed and we'll go.

All right.

There still a lot of backward hillbillies around?

Backwards? Not at all.

They're shrewd and smart as any corporation executive.

People of the soil and they know what friendship is.

Ooh, that was a pretty house.

That's Linc Wilder's place,

he sold me my cabin some years ago.

Calls himself a ridge-runner.

Ridge-runner, what's that?

Oh, they all call themselves that.

I guess because of all the ridges around here. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Look here, Hendricks.

I'm all ready to offer you more money for this old piece of junk.

Ain't that right, boy?

MAN: That's right.

Ooh, ain't that something.

Ain't that the truth.

Isn't this the place where you got me that cupie doll?

You remember that too?

Sure I do.

You wanna go in? Sure, yeah.

I don't know what it's for?

Well, you put it in your linens. It's rose blossoms.

It's just like I remember it.

Certain lingerie or night gowns, makes you smell sweet.

(LAUGHS)

Thank you.

Hello, Rachel. Still your old smiley self.

Well, Reece, when did you get back in town?

Oh, a couple of days ago. And why didn't you write?

Why, I didn't know I was supposed to.

Well, every day I checked with the mailman, and every day I came up empty.

(LAUGHING) Stop clowning, Reece.

You know, if I asked you out to dinner for the umpteenth time,

would you still turn me down?

Yes. I suppose I would.

Joanna? This is my niece, Joanna Morgan.

Joanna, this is Mrs. Rachel Parmelee.

Oh, well, I didn't know you had a niece.

Welcome to the Ozarks.

Thank you. You have a very lovely shop here.

Well, we won't take up any more of your time.

See you later.

Bye. Bye, Joanna.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Isn't that disgusting?

What? That old man and that young girl.

I think that lady's turned on by you.

Can't prove it by me.

Come on. I saw you flirting with her.

Me? Flirt with the widow Parmelee?

Oh, she's a widow. She's unattached.

Come on, I saw you turning on all that charm.

Well, I must be losing my touch,

I've been tying to go out with her for the past five summers,

so it's not as though I haven't been trying.

Oh, sounds serious.

She came out with me, could be.

Hi Linc, how you doing?

Just stopped by to say hello.

I'm glad. I'd like you to meet my niece, Joanna Morgan.

Oh, we've already met. We just didn't bother to introduce ourselves.

Oh, really?

Oh, didn't I tell you there was another man there

when my car went into the ditch?

I must have forgotten.

Yeah, Joanna told me about the incident on the road,

she feels bad about some of the things she said to Jesse.

Well, I'll go turn the water on.

Why didn't you tell me where my uncle's house was?

That was very rude.

That wasn't rude, that was rural.

We're not in the habit of turning the other cheek.

You didn't appreciate the help we gave you getting your car out of the ditch.

So, why should I help you again?

I did appreciate your help.

You didn't show it.

Well, you weren't exactly courteous to a lady, you know.

No, because I didn't see a lady.

Very cute, but obvious.

Mr. Bates is the only one that deserves an apology from me.

At least you recognized that.

Look, why don't you back off.

I've already told you that I'm not proud of the way I behaved,

but that doesn't seem to be good enough for you.

I pity your wife.

You can save it, I'm not married.

Oh, well, I can see why.

Hello, Linc. Quite a rain heading our way?

We could be in for an afternoon squall.

Well, Joanna and I drove by your house this afternoon.

She really liked it.

I'm flattered.

It was the house that I admired.

Excuse me, I have some things to do.

Yeah, I guess it does look like we're in for a squall.

What's going on?

I don't know, Reece.

I never did care for a woman in fancy britches.

I think you have the wrong impression of Joanna.

Her mother's tried to run every minute of her life. Just overly defensive.

Could be.

(SIGHS)

Well, I better get back into town before the lumber yard closes.

Say goodbye to your niece for me?

Sure will.

(TRUCK STARTING)

Linc told me to tell you goodbye.

How come the two of you almost exchanged blows?

I just couldn't help it.

I mean, I know he's your friend and everything,

but if I would have just stayed there for one more minute.

(EXCLAIMING ANGRILY)

I don't know, maybe I just can't get along with those country bumpkins.

Pride goeth before a fall. Has that occurred to you?

Kind of turns you on, doesn't he?

I would have come in to pay for the repairs on your car.

I always pay my debts.

Weren't no use for you to come collecting,

I didn't stop by because of that, Jesse.

I came to apologize for the way I behaved the other day

and for the way I spoke to you and your mules.

Well, I reckon I can overlook it.

Of course, I can't speak for my mules.

(LAUGHING)

Thank you. My name is Joanna Morgan.

Pleased to meet you, Miss Morgan. Pleased to meet you.

You have a real nice place here.

Yeah, it's home. I got 40 acres of land.

But 40 acres of hill land ain't nothing like 40 acres of any other land.

You know, if you was to flatten it out,

I'd have maybe three or four times as much.

Well, I wouldn't want to walk it.

There's an advantage to walking these hills.

Walking out on the flat land would be plum boring.

Not to mention how tiring it would be without a downhill to spell you.

(LAUGHING) I hadn't really quite thought about it that way, Jesse.

Well, a lot of folks can't look and see at the same time.

What's on the surface is not necessarily what's underneath.

So I'm learning.

So how much do you reckon I owe you?

Oh, don't worry about it. I'm insured.

And besides, I really don't think it was your fault the other day,

I was driving down that road a little fast.

Well, it's okay by you, it's okay by me.

It was really nice to have met you, Jesse.

Very happy to have met you, Miss Morgan.

You have a good day. You do the same now.

(CHIRPS)

Would you look at that beautiful bird.

Yeah. You know, the hill folks have quite a story

about a redbird flying across your path.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

Well, if you can believe such things,

they say that you're gonna get kissed twice before dark.

I'm gonna get kissed twice before dark, huh? By whom?

Well, now, the sign don't say that.

It just says you're gonna get kissed.

I'll let you know what happens, Jesse.

Okay. Bye now. Bye-bye.

Hi, pretty thing! You're new around here, aren't you?

Yes, I'm... I'm visiting a relative.

Yeah, I saw you and your relative over at the doll house.

What are you doing with an old city dude like that, anyway?

You know, what you really need is

a big, strong, country boy like me.

You know, to take care of your needs. Your every needs.

Lady, I don't take kindly to being ignored.

Of course, I guess I will take exception in your case,

because I know when you and me get together,

we gonna have a real ho-down.

Whoa!

You might as well quit ignoring me. I always get what I want.

I'm gonna have you arrested if you don't leave me alone.

Get lost, Deke!

Stay out of this, Linc. She's mine.

(GRUNTS)

I'll give you two choices,

either you can walk away, or you can be carried away.

Hey. It was just a joke. I was just having a little fun, that's all.

Just a little joke, you know.

I'm just having a little fun with this little lady. There ain't nothing to it.

(CHUCKLES)

Man can't take a joke.

How'd that come about?

What do you mean?

Did you do something to get him going after you?

How dare you suggest that I would do anything to encourage that gorilla!

Just asking.

Wondering if you were doing something as rude as you did to old Jesse.

There's obviously no point in talking to you.

Oh, thank you for coming to my rescue. Bye.

Miss Parmelee?

Yes? Hi.

I'm Joanna Morgan. We met yesterday.

Oh, yes. Mind if I join you?

Oh, well, please do.

Thank you.

I'm so glad I found this place, it's charming, just adorable!

It's a favorite of mine.

I just went shopping. You know, I packed in the spur of the moment.

You know how you always forget something.

Yes.

I like what you're wearing. Where did you find that?

Well, thank you. I made it.

You made it?

My goodness! With a business to run, where do you find time?

Well, it's a form of therapy. Actually, what I mean is

it helps me to relax after a long day at the shop.

Yeah. I still have that little cupie doll that Reece bought

from your shop when I was six years old.

Well, that was before I owned it.

Then he really is your uncle?

Well, of course he's my uncle. What did you think?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Well, your uncle is a very, very charming and wealthy man.

Very attractive. It's not unrealistic

to imagine that a young girl would be attracted to him.

Well, I suppose that's true, but I'm sure that Reece would prefer a woman

rather than a young girl.

As a matter of fact, I think he's interested in you.

Oh.

I can't take him seriously. Well, why not?

We come from two different worlds.

Our values are so different.

He strikes me as the type who plays around a lot.

I'm sorry you got that impression because that's not Reece at all.

Really? Well, maybe I misjudged him.

Well, maybe you should get to know him better.

You all decided what you want?

Oh. Do you have a club sandwich?

We sure do. Good. I'll have that and some iced tea.

All right. Thanks.

Your uncle is here only...

One month out of the year.

That's hardly the basis for a stable relationship,

even discounting the fact that he and I have nothing in common.

Oh, well, that's not necessarily true.

I mean, you both own your own business.

You both love this part of the country, for openers.

Well, I never thought of it that way.

Would you come to dinner on Friday night?

Oh, no, thank you.

Oh, please! Come on, I'd like to get to know you better.

Oh, well, it's against my better judgment, but okay, I'll come.

Oh, good.

Hello! Is anybody home? Uncle Reece?

(WHISTLING)

Hello?

Thank you. You looking for Reece?

Nope.

Was there something else?

I just came from Jesse Bates. He mentioned you were by.

That's right.

I didn't mean to step on your feelings this afternoon.

After talking to Jesse, I have to admit, it changed my opinion of you.

Well, I'm so relieved.

You know, I stayed up all last night thinking about it.

What makes you so sassy?

I'll tell you what makes me sassy.

Because you strike me as the type of man

that likes to keep a woman barefoot and pregnant. Right?

I mean, isn't that a motto of the hills?

You for it or against it?

I can't believe you just said that. I'm against it, of course.

I thought maybe you were going native.

I noticed you were barefoot

and I couldn't swear if you were pregnant,

but you sure got the bones for it.

Are you quite through?

Come on, where is your sense of humor?

Oh, can't you see me laughing?

You know what your problem is, Joanna?

No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me.

You always want the upper hand.

You're afraid of losing control.

You can dish it out, but you can't take it.

Is that right?

Why don't you just admit that you're scared?

That's ridiculous. Oh, is it?

Did Jesse Bates put you up to this?

Jesse? Mmm-hmm.

He said I was gonna get kissed twice before nightfall.

Some silly superstition.

Twice. Well, now, I can't make a liar out of Jesse.

There's only supposed to be two.

Don't wanna spoil Jesse's prediction.

(BOAT MOTOR WHIRRING)

JOANNA: Catch any fish?

Why, they wouldn't even drink my coffee. You been here long, Linc?

Linc just got here.

Well, Joanna's been entertaining me.

Got your shopping done?

Yes, and I had lunch with Rachel Parmelee.

I asked her to dinner on Friday night.

Well, is she coming? Mmm-hmm.

Really? Well, how'd you manage that?

Oh, simple. I just asked.

You gonna join us, Linc?

Is that all right with you, Joanna?

If that's a yes, I accept.

(LAUGHS)

JOANNA: So, Linc is coming to dinner.

At times, he's so sure of himself, it's positively infuriating.

But he does have a way about him.

Maybe it's that lazy glint in his eye.

That half-smile of his seems so sexy.

I don't know, but he's starting to get to me.

(EXHALES)

(OWL HOOTING)

Howdy!

(EXCLAIMS)

What are you doing out here?

Well, it's so pretty, I was just exploring and looking around.

What are you up to?

Oh, I'm looking for me some sassafras roots.

Oh, what do you use those for?

Well, ain't nothing better for what ails you.

There's a lot of truth in those old remedies.

These woods are so mysterious, you know. They're almost spooky.

Yeah, it can be at that.

Jesse, have you...

Have you ever seen any strange lights around here?

That's a long story.

I'll tell you about it sometime.

Well, got to get moving.

Goodbye now. Take care of yourself. Don't get lost.

(LAUGHS) Bye.

You look lovely. Thank you.

I can't stay very late, you know.

Rachel, the evening has just begun.

Now, I've waited five years to try to get you out to have dinner.

Don't try to end it so soon.

Well, I'm not.

It's just that I have to be at the shop early tomorrow morning and...

Why are you so uncomfortable?

I promise you I don't bite on the first date.

Well, if you did, I'd bite you back.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Well, it looks like the evening's gonna work out after all.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Yeah, that old Jesse knows more tales

and superstitions of the Ozarks.

You know, the first time I talked with Jesse

he told me about the laws of the hills.

Ridge-runners, that's hill folk.

He says, "Don't take too kindly to so-called outside authorities."

It's commonly known as hill just-us.

(LAUGHS) Oh, just-us.

Listen, this is such a wonderful meal.

At least let me do the dishes, okay?

No, no, no. You sit right there.

Linc has volunteered for kitchen duty tonight.

Did I volunteer to wash or dry?

I never would have guessed you had domestic talent.

Well, I had a good teacher.

Who? Your mother?

No. Reece. My mother had difficulty boiling water.

You got a little dish soap on your face.

You know, you must be the most exasperating woman I've met.

You get under a man's skin whether it's what he wants or not.

Well, that's funny because I was just thinking the same thing about you.

(LAUGHING)

REECE: My home in L.A. is bigger than this but more empty.

You must have a lot of friends.

Oh, acquaintances. Not too many close friends.

To be frank with you, Rachel, I'm lonely.

I find that very hard to believe. No, it's true.

I used to think that the evenings were the worst, but now it's the mornings.

No one across from the breakfast table,

and no one to wave goodbye to in an empty house.

Do you feel that sometimes?

Yes. Yes, I have.

Then we have something in common.

But there are a lot of other things to think about, Reece.

Like what?

Well, I don't really know you very well, and I...

I don't think I want to get involved.

Why? What are you afraid of?

Why, I'm not afraid of anything.

I just thought that the next time I...

I fell in love,

I'd have both my feet on the ground, and I feel so shaky.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

What? You're glad to hear it?

Don't you see, Rachel? We're in the same place.

I want to be with you,

and I believe that you wanna be with me.

Oh, look. Dinner was a success after all.

Damn. Will you get this for me, please?

Sure.

Got it yet? Patience.

By the way, dinner was very good tonight.

With a little practice, you might make some man a good wife.

Well, with a little practice,

you could become a good wife too.

You know, you would have very pretty shoulders

if you didn't have that big chip on them.

If it weren't for men like you, the chip wouldn't be there.

You are like a bull nettle, you know that?

(LAUGHING) Doesn't that make you itch?

I've decided it's just a heat rash.

Nothing a cold shower won't cure.

Oh, very funny.

Why don't you quit fighting?

Who's fighting? You are!

Well, I don't understand.

Suppose we just take this up another time.

(SIGHS)

We're still going riding on Sunday?

Sure. If you pack us a lunch.

Listen to the tree frogs and the locusts.

Oh, I know. I love it.

It's an Ozark symphony.

Fills up my head and drowns out my thoughts. Makes me feel so peaceful.

That's why I come back every year.

That and other things, like people who live in doll shops.

(CHUCKLING) Oh, smooth talker.

(CHUCKLES)

No smooth talker. Actually, when I'm with you

I seem to stumble over my tongue quite a bit.

Well, I hadn't noticed that.

No, it's true.

If I was really a smooth talker,

I'd tell you that the locust songs are mating calls.

And they're singing their little hearts out

because they want some pretty little locust to notice them.

(CHUCKLES)

Now how would a man from the city know that?

Don't know. Empathy, perhaps.

Listen, they stopped.

Know what that means?

They found their mate.

JOANNA: Maybe I went too far tonight, but I just couldn't resist teasing him.

I wish he wasn't so serious.

I just know that there's a mischievous and fun side

underneath all that aloofness of his.

I hope I don't make a fool of myself when we're out riding.

I wonder if horses come with training wheels.

Oh, what the heck.

When he sees the way I ride a horse, it might just loosen him up.

(ROOSTER CROWING)

Yes.

Well, howdy folks. I didn't expect to see you up here today.

What you been doing, Jesse?

Nothing.

Trouble with doing nothing is there ain't no place to stop to rest.

Life can be rough.

Where are you folks headed?

We thought we'd ride up to the top of Old Baldy and watch the sun set.

If I was you, I'd make it a point to get back before dark,

because it ain't gonna be a fit night for man nor beast once that sun goes down.

The haints will be out tonight.

The whats?

Haints. Ghosts?

You're kidding.

You know, there's a lot of things that happen that man can't explain.

Now, over here in Stone County,

the folks say that there's a mountain

over there that's hainted by the ghosts of the Spanish conquistadores.

It seems that years and years ago,

the Spaniards buried a bunch of gold over there in those hills,

and shortly after,

they were attacked and killed by a bunch of Indians.

Every last one of them.

Now, if you go up on that mountain tonight,

the folks claim that you can hear the screams and sobs of those dying men.

You really believe that?

Well, ain't saying I do and I ain't saying I don't.

Haints are mostly invisible.

Man usually can't see them.

Now, you take animals, that's a different thing.

Animals can see things that we can't.

Ghosts, I suppose.

Well, if a horse shies, folks say he's spooked, right?

And that just proves what I'm saying.

You mean the horse has seen a ghost?

You can see that same ghost.

All you gotta do is look between your horse's ears,

sight right down his nose, if there's a ghost there, you'll see him.

I'm not really sure that I want to see it.

(CHUCKLING) You might not have any choice.

If we stay here any longer,

you're gonna have Joanna too scared to ride with me.

Well, just remember what I said about getting back before dark.

Yeah, we will. Have a nice ride now.

Okay. Bye-bye, Jesse. Bye.

Oh, you caught the fish on board here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I did it again.

What am I doing wrong? Oh, you caught the fish over on board on starboard.

Let her rip. Wow, that's better.

(LAUGHING)

What are you smiling about?

I'm smiling at you.

(CHUCKLING) I'm a mess.

You certainly are. A beautiful mess.

You know, the first sign of old age is failing eyesight.

I've got it.

It's a well-known fact that love is blind.

I suppose you think I'm rushing?

Love is a beautiful word,

and that's exactly what I'm feeling.

(LAUGHING)

I can't seem to act my age.

It's a good thing I'm sitting down right now,

'cause if I wasn't and you touched me, I'd swoon.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

(CHUCKLING)

There isn't a sane, sensible thought in my head.

(EXCLAIMS)

This is worse than the back seat of a 1950 Chevy.

(LAUGHING)

Wait a minute, I've got one! I've got one!

Hey! Oh!

Well, that's a big one, you'd better

let me handle it. No, no, no, no!

Not on your life! This is mine! You get away!

Reel him in!

He's a beauty! It's a beauty!

That's not a fish, that's a whale!

(LAUGHING)

It's a leopard seal. It's a minnow.

Oh, dear.

It's our first fish together.

Hello, Deke. What are you hunting for?

I been tracking a coyote that's been getting after one of my chickens.

Is that a fact? Yeah.

See, I don't much like the idea of nothing getting after my chickens.

You know what I mean, don't you?

So, I figure that when I catch up to him, well,

I'm gonna blow a hole in his side so big that,

well, it'll just guarantee that he ain't never gonna get one of my chickens again.

You could be making a mistake.

Yeah? How do you figure that?

That coyote you're tracking could turn out to be a timber wolf.

Now, I know coyotes are sneaky devils,

but I never met one that wouldn't turn tail and run from a fight.

Wolf, coyote... Don't make me no difference.

This right here will take care of it.

If it does turn out to be a wolf,

you better make that first shot count.

There won't be time for a second try.

He'll be right at your throat.

I'll just try to keep that in mind.

You do that.

Now if you'll stand aside and let us pass, I'll be obliged.

How do you know he's not going to shoot you in the back?

I don't.

Hey! Wait for me.

What kind of superstition is that?

Well, marriage is a serious matter in the Ozarks.

There's a lot of superstitions about how to choose a mate,

and how to tell a virtuous woman.

Oh. How do you tell a virtuous woman?

(CLEARS THROAT)

* Mama, mama, have you heard

* Papa's gonna buy me a mockingbird

* And if that mockingbird won't sing

* Papa's gonna buy me a golden ring

* And if that golden ring is brass

* Papa's gonna buy me a looking glass.

* And if that looking glass don't shine

* Papa's gonna shoot that bow of mine *

(LAUGHING)

Linc, tell me more about yourself.

Well,

I guess you could say I had to grow up fast.

Maybe too fast.

My father died when I was kind of young,

and I was handed the responsibility of my younger brother,

sister and my mother.

It made me a bit of a loner.

Not that I didn't have friends,

but I didn't have time to play.

Do you now? Well, Mom passed away,

my sister's married now and my brother is living in Dallas.

So, I guess that makes me a free man.

I think... Leave 'em? Yeah.

I think that's what I like so much about you.

What's that?

The fact that you're able to stand on your own two feet.

You know, I sensed it the minute that I laid eyes on you.

Remember we had that run-in with Jesse's mules?

You did? Uh-huh.

And you gave me such a hard time after that?

Well, you should have used a little more finesse.

Oh.

It's finesse you want, is it?

(LAUGHING)

You know what I'd like?

What?

I'd like...

Yes? Some lunch.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

What's wrong?

I was just thinking about how I'm going to feel when you leave.

I'd hate to just be a holiday fling.

Hey, don't you think you're jumping to conclusions?

It's getting late. We better head back.

We'll take the short cut back to the road while the light holds out.

You want to race? Yeah.

Come on.

(NEIGHING)

(JOANNA SCREAMING)

Linc! Linc, stop him!

Linc, stop him.

Are you okay? What happened?

The horse got spooked by that light.

The same one I saw when I was a little girl.

Where'd you see it? (PANTING) Back there.

Just like Jesse said. It was a blue light,

and it was real close to the ground.

It was probably just a foxfire.

It's a natural phenomenon, not the haints.

Did it scare you? (LAUGHING) Yeah, it scared me.

Just as much as it did the first time.

But it also fascinated me.

Damn that Jesse and his ghost stories.

What happened to my horse?

He's probably halfway back to the barn by now.

Linc, what causes foxfires?

It's kind of a spontaneous combustion.

You see, two elements can exist in the same environment together

with nothing happening, until a spark sets them off.

It's an illusive thing.

Either it's there or it isn't.

Mother, what are you doing here?

I wanted to surprise you.

Well, you certainly did.

Mother, this is Linc Wilder.

He lives down the road.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Morgan.

How do you do?

This is unexpected.

Well, I better go track down your horse. I'll see you tomorrow.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Morgan. Mmm-hmm.

See you tomorrow.

How are you, darling? Okay.

Mother, why didn't you tell anybody that you were coming?

Aren't I welcome?

And just in time, too, judging from what I just saw leaving.

Mother, that's very unfair.

Where's Reece? He's out.

He's out? Where would he be out here?

If you must know, he has a lady friend.

I'll leave the rest to your X-rated imagination.

Reece is seeing someone? Mmm-hmm. Rachel Parmelee.

And who is Rachel Parmelee?

She owns the doll shop in town.

She's from the Ozarks?

(CHUCKLING)

Reece must be pretty desperate

to be seeing some barefoot yokel from this area.

That hardly describes her, Mother.

(DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING) Hello. Well, Elizabeth.

Hello, Reece. Goodness, what a surprise.

When did you arrive? About an hour ago, but no one was here.

Oh, Reece, are you still necking in the back seats of cars?

You got lipstick on your collar.

As a matter of fact, it was the back of a boat.

Yes, Joanna's been telling me that you've been seeing someone.

I'd like to meet her while I'm here.

I'm sure Rachel will look forward to meeting you with pleasure, too.

Here, let me help you upstairs with your bags.

Have a good trip? It was all right.

REECE: It's there on the right.

That's it.

Well, I hope you'll be comfortable here, Elizabeth.

It will be just fine.

Reece, I'm sorry if I was rude downstairs.

Old habits die hard, and I still care.

Elizabeth, don't make things awkward.

(CHUCKLING) I'm not, really, I just came to...

Reece, I don't even remember why we broke up.

Does it matter now?

We had some wonderful times together, Reece.

You can't have forgotten that. I mean, I haven't.

Even this room, it reminds...

You know, kind of reminds me of that little cabin

that we shared on the Hanovers' yacht.

Don't you remember how small it was?

We had to even take turns dressing.

You loved the whole idea.

Well, that's all in the past.

Yes, but it doesn't have to be.

This woman, Rachel is her name?

Yes.

What's she like? What's her background?

She's from an entirely different world, Elizabeth.

I don't know whether you'd understand, Elizabeth,

but I find her very appealing.

Now, you have a good night's rest.

Hi.

Hey, what are you doing up so early?

I couldn't sleep so I decided to run.

Is Mother up yet? No, not yet.

(GASPING) It's beautiful. Is it an engagement ring?

Yeah.

Have you asked her yet? Not yet.

Suppose tonight's the big night, huh?

No, today is the big day. I'm going into town right now.

Oh, chicken, I suppose you don't want to wait till Mother gets up, huh?

Now, you promise me, you don't tell her my plan.

I promise, scout's honor.

And don't spit. (LAUGHS) Okay.

(KNOCKS)

(CAR WHIRRING IN DISTANCE)

Hi. Hi, honey, how are you?

Was that Reece's car?

Uh-huh, he had to go into town. Did you sleep well, Mother?

Not really. You know, he may be involved with that country yokel,

but he'll never marry her.

Mother, be fair, you haven't even met Rachel yet.

Rachel, even the name sounds common.

Darling, I know him better than you do.

There's been countless affairs over the years.

The moment the newness wears off,

he'll just cast her aside like the rest of them.

You know what? I think you're wrong this time.

Well, if I am, little Daisy Mae has to be one smart cookie.

I don't think she's one to play games, Mother.

Well, Reece better wake up.

He's going to make an awful fool out of himself.

On second thought, give me three.

One for each of my nieces.

I'll be with you in a minute. Fine.

$23.95. There you go.

It's going to be a hot one again today, I'm afraid.

Whoo! Good day for a swim.

Ah! Straight for the lake.

Thank you so much. You come back.

Is there something I can do for you?

(DOOR CHIMES SOUND) You can give me five minutes of your time.

But time is precious.

Can you be influenced?

Well, what is it that you want?

Well, how about this?

I don't know what to say.

All you have to say is yes.

Is this a proposal?

Well, are you saying yes?

(STAMMERING) I can't talk.

Here.

This lady has just consented to become my wife.

(ALL EXCLAIMING HAPPILY)

Well, anyway, so, all I did was ask where my Uncle Reece's cabin was,

and he went into this 10-minute spiel

about Inez Mummel or something like that.

I didn't understand him, he was speaking a different language.

Well, I understand congratulations are in order.

I thought you would have been too clever to have gotten caught.

Oh.

Well, you must be Rachel. Hello, I'm Elizabeth, Joanna's mother.

It's so nice to meet you.

Have you two set a date yet?

As a matter of fact, yes. Next week.

Oh, so soon?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Excuse me, I'll get that.

It's to be a simple ceremony.

Just the minister and two witnesses.

Oh, Reece, that isn't fair

to cheat your family and friends out of a wedding

after we've waited all this time.

Not to mention your bride, but I should think you'd want something more elaborate.

No, it was my idea, really.

Yes, I would have rented the entire L.A. Coliseum.

Did I hear right? You two are getting married?

Yeah, she... She twisted my arm.

Congratulations. Thank you, Linc.

Well, we got to have a party to celebrate this.

Yes, dinner, champagne, the works.

Actually, what I had in mind was an old-fashioned barbeque at my place.

I'll invite a bunch of friends and neighbors up this Sunday. How's that sound?

That sounds like a lot of trouble, Linc.

It never is for friends. Sunday, then?

That sounds wonderful.

And may I help?

Do you know much about having a barbeque?

We practically invented the barbeque in California.

Well, while you two are arguing about barbeques,

Rachel and I are going to go for a drive.

Nice to have met you. Bye Joanna, Linc. Bye.

(DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING)

Where are you going, Mother?

I'm going upstairs. I seem to have a headache.

I get the impression your mother wasn't too pleased to hear

about the engagement.

Well, I mean, it came as quite a shock to her.

I'm sure she was a little stunned.

Champagne.

I wonder what she would have thought if I suggested white lightning.

You mean moonshine?

I don't think she would have appreciated that.

Well, I guess there's quite a spread between champagne and moonshine.

Well, I'll go up and check on her.

I'm so glad you did that.

Did what? Stood up.

See, there's an old superstition in the Ozarks

that says it's unlucky for a man to kiss a woman

when she's sitting down and he's standing.

Is that right? I have it on the best authority.

Don't tell me. Jesse Bates?

(LAUGHS)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Who is it? It's me, Mother, may I come in?

Yes, of course.

You okay? How do you feel?

How would you feel?

Mother, I'm really sorry.

It hardly does any good to be sorry, now. I...

Joanna, why didn't you call me and tell me what was going on?

I don't think you have any idea what...

Mother, what do you think I could have possibly done?

I don't know,

I thought if I came here, Reece and I...

I don't know, maybe I've been entertaining

some sort of a fantasy all these years,

but, God, seeing him with her...

(SOBS)

Mother, I'm sorry,

but I think you brought this on yourself.

Oh, Joanna, stop, go away, I'm so tired.

I'll be downstairs if you need me, Mother.

(HILLBILLY MUSIC PLAYING)

So, the doctor said,

(IMITATING GERMAN ACCENT) "Well, we have very good reason to believe

"that you might be trying to escape."

(LAUGHING)

Well, it wasn't that bad.

Oh, look, there's Mrs. Morgan.

I'm so glad she decided to come.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Glad to see you're feeling better, Mrs. Morgan.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Wilder.

No need to be formal.

So I've noticed.

Come on, let's go get a drink. Okay.

I've heard a lot of nice things about you.

I'm Linc's sister, Sharon, and this is my husband, Bill.

Thank you, nice to meet you.

Where are the kids, Sharon? Grandma and Grandpa are babysitting.

We have three boys. Only three kids.

I guess that proves that a ridge-runner doesn't keep his wife

barefoot and pregnant all the time.

(SHARON LAUGHS)

Howdy, y'all. ALL: Howdy.

Hi, gang! It's about time you got here.

Come on over and join us. That's what I come for.

We're going to play up a storm this afternoon, boys.

Here, listen to this.

How'd that sound? My fiddle never sounded that good.

Well, what you need is some rattlers in it.

That's what gives it this good tone.

Rattlers? What kind are you talking about?

Well, from a rattle snake, what else?

Next time you see one, kind of stomp him,

and then cut his rattlers off and take 'em home and put them in your fiddle.

It will sound just like mine.

Yeah, and cows fly, too.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Are we going to stand here arguing all day or are we going to play some music?

(WHISTLES)

Hey, Reece, we're going to play a song for you.

Let's go, boys.

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

(CROWD APPLAUDS)

Well, now that I've learned you guys how to play,

I'm going to join the party and have some fun.

What do you think of your daughter?

Oh, wonderful.

(PLAYING SLOW MUSIC)

Happy?

Well, I think I'm falling in love with the Ozarks.

Just the Ozarks?

Well, not just the Ozarks.

Time to eat. Oh, okay.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Isn't that Deke? What is he doing here?

We both live in the same hills.

Linc.

Hello, Deke.

You, uh, sure know how to throw a heck of a party.

Glad you could make it.

Well, you see, I never was known as one to hold a grudge.

How I look at it is, you win some and you lose some.

The trick is just, well, knowing when to throw in the cards.

Well, now, with that said, you reckon an old pouty like me could

just wish both of you the best?

You bet.

That ain't no joke. Okay.

(DISTANT HILLBILLY MUSIC PLAYING)

Well, hello, are you enjoying the party?

Well, I see Reece has already abandoned you.

No, no, he just went to get some drinks.

Well, he's always thoughtful and attentive.

Isn't he so?

Well, I suppose he's changed,

and doesn't have that roving eye anymore.

You know, I felt that way at first, too,

but then after I got to know him,

I realized it wasn't true.

You know, I really admire you, Rachel.

You do?

Well, yes, taking on a new husband and a new lifestyle,

all in one leap, and...

I see what you mean, yes.

Yes, of course, it will take a little time

to get used to living in Beverly Hills.

Especially, Reece has a beautiful, beautiful home,

does a lot of entertaining for business purposes.

Mmm.

Oh, how well I remember those formal dinner parties.

Does he do that a lot?

Oh, darling, if you need any help, please call me.

I've given thousands of dinner parties,

so arranging all the fine details is really second nature to me.

That's very kind of you to offer.

And if you need to buy some new clothes,

I'd be happy to take you to some of my favorite shops,

so you can get a new wardrobe.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Oh, I never thought of that.

Knowing Reece, I'm sure he hasn't given you much chance

to think about those things.

Marriage is difficult under the best of circumstances,

and I'd hate to see the two of you getting off on the wrong foot.

Well, thank you so much for your kind advice.

I'm so glad we've had the opportunity to have this little chat.

I'd like to think we're going to be friends.

Well, I can't imagine otherwise.

Elizabeth, are you enjoying yourself?

I can't remember having so much fun.

Here you are, dear.

Hey, where are you?

Here. Just thinking.

About what?

Us.

And?

I guess I'm just a nervous bride-to-be.

Did Elizabeth have anything to do with the way you're feeling right now?

Oh, no, no, I just...

Looking around at all my friends, the country, and thinking about leaving,

I never expected to be uprooted.

Well, you'll adjust to that. We'll manage that.

Elizabeth has been doing a number on you, hasn't she?

No, I'm just having second thoughts, Reece.

I have a mind of my own. Of course, I know that.

Excuse me for a minute.

Mr. Wilder, how long does this party last?

Till all the guests go home.

And how long is that, generally?

Could be into the wee hours.

Mother, why don't you sit down and have something to eat?

Elizabeth, I'd like to talk to you. Excuse me.

Is something wrong?

Damn it, Elizabeth.

I knew when you arrived here that you'd start making trouble.

Reece, I have no idea what you're talking about.

I want you to stay the hell out of my life.

Whatever there was between the two of us has long been over.

Now, you said something to Rachel, and you've upset her.

I will not stand for that.

Look, it's absolutely nonsense.

I did nothing of the kind.

I discussed moving to California...

Will you get this through your head?

Rachel and I are getting married next week,

and there is nothing that you can say or do about that.

Is that clear to you?

Reece, you're shouting. Yes, I am shouting.

Do you hear what I'm saying?

Obviously, the whole world is listening. We do not need your help.

Not now and not later.

If that's the way you feel.

Elizabeth,

you arrived here uninvited.

Of course, that didn't bother you,

you barge in whether you're welcome or not.

Were it not for Joanna, I would have asked you to leave a long time ago.

She is my brother's daughter, but I've had it.

Now, I want you to make your excuses

and catch the next plane for Los Angeles.

You understand?

You understand? Yes.

Mother, are you all right?

I don't feel very well. Would you mind if we left the party?

Well, I guess. Linc, I'll be back shortly, okay?

(SIGHS)

I didn't mean to upset you.

I'm sorry you asked Elizabeth to leave.

I don't think she was to blame for the worries I have.

Well, let's chalk it up to prenuptial nerves.

Are you nervous?

(CHUCKLES)

You don't think that you have a monopoly on that, do you?

(LAUGHING) Yes, I thought I did.

I mean, you always seem so sure of yourself.

I never imagined that...

Well, I'm just letting my fears get the best of me.

Will you forgive me? Nothing to forgive.

I think we can make it work.

I know we can.

I love you.

I love you.

I can't believe that Reece would say such a thing.

Well, obviously, he doesn't want me here.

He thinks I'm trying to come between him and Rachel.

All I did was offer to help,

and he accused me of interfering.

Were you, Mother? No.

Oh, he's making an awful mistake marrying that woman.

They have nothing in common.

I was just trying to be nice and this is how he repays me.

Mother, it's none of your business

who Reece chooses to marry,

so why don't you just stay out of it? All right, okay.

You know, we always haven't gotten along,

but I'm so glad you're here with me, Joanna.

I've never felt so abandoned in my life, Joanna.

Oh, Mama, I'm here.

Oh, I'm here.

Joanna, will you fly home with me?

(STAMMERING) You mean now? You mean tonight?

Reece doesn't want me here, I must leave.

But, Mother, I... Joanna, I need you.

Just give me a minute to think.

I mean, what am I going to tell Linc?

I know there's a very, very big attraction there,

but, sweetheart, in a month, you'll forget even what he looks like.

These holiday romances are always like that.

Joanna, please come with me.

(SIGHING) Okay, let's go upstairs and pack.

But I want to stop and speak to Linc

on the way to the airport, all right?

Leaving? What do you mean, leaving?

Linc, if you'd just let me explain.

Explain what?

Can't you see that that manipulating witch has messed up her own life,

and now she's trying to ruin yours?

Linc, she's my mother.

And regardless of her faults,

I still love her and I resent you calling her names.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

But, I just can't see why she can't get into a plane all by herself.

Don't you understand?

She's been hurt. And I am all that she has.

Now, you didn't you tell me that you helped your mother when she needed you?

In other words, you're telling me,

"Goodbye, it's been nice knowing you."

Yeah, well, if that's all the understanding that you're going to give me,

yes, I'm saying goodbye.

(PLAYING HILLBILLY MUSIC)

That's the longest face I ever did see. Something wrong?

I suppose so.

Well, now, that's no kind of an answer.

Where's Joanna?

I reckon she's on her way to the airport at Springfield.

Well, now, what's she doing that for?

We had a fight and she left with her mother.

And you let her go just like that, huh?

What kind of a man are you that you'd lose your woman here

because of a lover's quarrel?

Go on after her.

Linc, I just heard that Joanna's gone.

I'm afraid that's my fault.

How come? I told her mother to leave.

It never occurred to me that Joanna would go with her.

Well, what are we standing around here jawing

when we can go and catch Joanna

before she gets on that airplane.

REECE: She's probably catching the 6:30 to Denver.

You're right, Jesse, I gave up too easy.

That ain't like me.

Well, where you going? To the airport. Excuse me, miss.

Hey, wait for us.

Linc, take my car.

Mind if I drive? Be my guest.

JESSE: Wait for me.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

705, Denver to Los Angeles.

WOMAN ON PA: Mr. Roberts, paging Mr. Samuel Roberts.

Please meet your party at the airport...

Come on, Joanna.

Sometimes the plane is late getting off the ground.

That's right.

Come on, Linc, for Pete's sake,

my mule can go faster than this.

I'll get these checked through to Los Angeles, have a nice flight.

Can I help you, ma'am? Yes, Denver.

Will that be smoking or non?

Nonsmoking. Window seats, please.

Is that for two? Yes.

Your flight will be running approximately 15 minutes late this evening,

we've had a traffic delay.

All right, fine.

You've been assigned seats 2A and B.

Thank you and have a nice flight.

Thank you. Thanks.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(EXCLAIMS)

What time is it getting to be? 6:27.

WOMAN ON PA: Miss Marks, Miss Sandy Marks,

please go to a white courtesy telephone.

Joanna, you know,

we haven't decorated your room since you were in high school.

You know what might be fun, we call Andrea as soon as we get out to the coast

and maybe she could come over and, you know, we could refurbish your room.

Pink and mauve, I think. They would be nice colors. You look so pretty...

You look so pretty in that.

Pink, Joanna? Pink or mauve?

Pink, that's fine, Mother.

What time is it, honey? It's 6:40.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

(TRAIN ALARM SOUNDING)

Hold on to your hat. Atta boy, Linc. Go, go.

(LAUGHS)

MAN ON PA: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

At this time we're ready to board flight 705, nonstop service for Denver.

Please have your boarding cards available for the agent at the door,

as well as the flight attendant onboard the aircraft.

I'd like to thank you for flying with Ozark this afternoon,

and hope that you have a good flight.

I can't stand this place another minute.

It'll be so nice to get back to civilization.

I hope they remember to pick us up.

Joanna, honey, they're boarding.

I suppose your hearing's gone?

WOMAN ON PA: Ozark flight 705 is now in its final boarding process.

Ozark flight 705 is now in its final boarding process.

Hold it there, slow...hold it. Officer, I'm in a big rush, it's an emergency.

Arms up.

I got to catch... Empty your pockets, please.

Back through the machine, please.

Okay. All right.

Out of the way.

WOMAN ON PA: Air Midwest flight 848 is arriving at gate number one.

Well, we sure gave it a good try.

(GROANS)

Well, you could call her in Los Angeles tonight,

take the first plane out in the morning.

No, I don't think so.

She obviously made up her mind.

Maybe this is the way it was meant to be.

You know, you're right Linc.

I think this was the way it was meant to be.

(JESSE LAUGHING)

I don't see what's so funny about it, you old coot.

You stop being so rude to Jesse.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

I couldn't go.

I told my mother that it would break my heart.

And would you believe that she told me to stay

just as we were getting on the airplane?

This calls for a celebration.

Darned right, it does.

I got an idea. What's that?

If you will agree to marry me right now,

we can go back to the party and save the trouble

of throwing another one.

(LAUGHING)

Well, that's very parsimonious of you, but I will marry you anyway.

"Parsimonious"? What the heck?

That means cheap, Jesse.

Well, what are we standing here for?

Come on, let's get back to the party.

Okay, let's go.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)