Original subtitles

(grunting)

Got you. (groans)

Right in the heart.

Satisfied?

I'm not sure that's the word.

Okay.

I didn't mean satisfied like--

No, I--

I wasn't trying to--

'Cause we're not having satisfaction

in the personal sense.

Of course.

I should go. Giles is--

Is waiting for you.

I know.

Thanks. For the workout.

Hey, um, am I gonna see you this weekend?

You, uh, you-you, you probably have plans.

Right, birthday.

Um... actually, I-I do have a thing.

Oh, "a thing."

A date?

Nice attempt at casual.

Actually, I do have a date.

Older man.

Very handsome.

Likes it when I call him Daddy.

(chuckles) Your father.

It is your father, right?

(quiet laugh)

He's taking me to the ice show.

Which should be big fun.

I could use a little fun.

GILES: This one?

Amethyst.

Used for?

Breath mints?

Charm bags, money spells,

and for cleansing one's aura.

Okay, so how do you know if one's aura's dirty?

Somebody come by with a finger and write

"Wash me" on it?

Buffy, I'm aware of your distaste

at studying vibratory stones,

but since it is part of your training,

I would appreciate

your glib-free attention.

Sorry. It's just with Faith

on one of her unannounced walkabouts,

I feel like somebody should be patrolling.

Well, Faith is not interested in proper training,

so I must rely on you to keep up with yours.

I hate being the good one.

And as for patrolling,

well, you'll be there soon enough.

Why so anxious?

I guess it...

I just have some...

energy to burn.

Well, in due time, but, uh, for the present,

if it's not entirely beyond your capabilities...

try to concentrate.

(sighs)

(grunting)

Wow, that was really funny-looking.

Could you do it again?

I'll kill you for that.

For that? What were you trying

to kill me for before?

Okay, so here's the deal--

(deep breath)

(grunts)

No!

(shrieks)

Let me know if I'm not doing this right.

(wolf howling)

*

(Buffy huffing)

(grunting)

(indistinct chatter)

Bit early in the day.

Giles, something's wrong.

Wrong?

Ah.

Perhaps you shouldn't...

...do that anymore.

On top of that, I got a bad case

of the dizzies last night,

and almost let a vamp stake me.

With my own stake!

I'm way off my game.

My game's left the country.

It's in Cuernavaca.

Giles, what's going on here?

Well, perhaps you've got a bad flu bug or something.

No. No, not sick.

I can't get sick.

My dad's coming to take me to the ice show.

We do it every year for my birthday.

If I cancel, it's gonna break his heart.

Well, just, uh, take it easy for 48 hours.

You know, forego patrolling until you feel yourself again.

No. No, I ju--

I just need to spend a little more time training.

(crashes)

I'm gone.

Thank you.

XANDER: An ice show?

A show performed on ice.

And how old are we again?

I went to Snoopy on Ice when I was little.

My dad took me backstage, and I got so scared

I threw up on Woodstock.

BUFFY: Look, I know you guys think it's just a big, dumb,

girlie thing, but it's not-- I mean,

a lot of those skaters are Olympic medal winners.

And every year my dad buys me cotton candy and one

of those souvenir programs that has all the pictures--

And okay, it's a big, dumb, girlie thing, but I love it.

It's not so girlie.

Ice is cool.

It's water, but it's not.

I think it's sweet you and your dad have a tradition.

Especially now that he's not around so much.

Ixnay on the caramel corn,

though, if you go backstage.

We're still talking party, right?

I mean, some of us still love to relish celebrating

in the birth of the Buff.

I don't know. I think it might be

time to put a moratorium on parties in my honor.

They tend to go badly.

Monsters crash. People die.

But 18 is a big one, Buffy.

I mean, you can vote now.

You can be drafted.

You can vote not to be drafted.

I think I'll choose to celebrate

this one with quiet reflection.

XANDER: Where's it written

that quiet reflection can't be combined

with cake and funny hats?

(door opens, closes)

Buffy?

Present.

Ooh, present.

Uh, they're not.

They're from your father.

His, uh...

quarterly projections are unraveling,

and he can't afford to take off right now.

He promises to make it up to you.

It's all right there in the letter.

If-if you want, I could ask somebody

to cover for me at the gallery.

I mean, if you want me to take you.

No.

No, it's not necessary.

I was just thinking it might be nice

to have a-a quiet birthday.

*

How much longer, Hobson?

Five, maybe six hours, sir.

Once you finish, you and Blair can get some rest.

But sleep in shifts.

We're getting very close.

The slayer's preparation is nearly complete.

BUFFY: You know, it's not just cartoon characters.

They do pieces from operas and ballets.

Brian Boitano doing Carmen is a life changer.

Oh, he doesn't actually play Carmen,

but a lot of sophisticated people go.

Yes. I think we should start

with the grounding crystal again.

You know, it's usually something

that families do together.

Now, look very carefully for the tiny flaw at its core.

If someone were free,

they'd take their daughters

or their student...

or their slayer.

Hmm? Yes, but, Buffy, I think we should

concentrate now. Now, look for the flaw

at its center.

Buffy?

*

Oh, sorry.

Did I zone out on you?

I'm just... I'm nursing that flu bug.

It's best to take care of that.

Perhaps we should, um--

Call it a night.

Yeah.

That's a good idea.

Thanks.

Good night.

(indistinct chatter)

So, how's it going with Amy the Rat?

Good! She loves her new exercise wheel.

She runs around, her nose wiggles--

I-I meant, how's it going

changing her back into a human being?

Oh, still working on it.

But I just got her the cutest little bell, it's just--

BOY: You don't do that to me!

I waited for you at The Bronze all night!

CORDELIA: And the big deal is?

You made me look like some kind of dork

in front of my posse.

First of all... posse?

Passé.

Second of all, anyone with a teaspoon of brains

knows not to take my flirting seriously.

Especially with my extenuating circumstances.

Oh, what circumstances?

Rebound! Look it up.

Hey!

I'm not through here.

Oh, I beg to differ. (grunts)

(scoffs)

What is wrong with you?

Ow. Ow!

The chick started it.

Are you okay?

Okay, I just got swatted down by some no-neck

and rescued by Cordelia.

What the hell is happening?

I'm sure it'll sort itself out.

Look, you're not getting the big picture here.

I have no strength.

I have no coordination.

I throw knives like...

A girl?

Like I'm not the slayer.

Look, Buffy, I-I-I assure you...

um, given time...

we'll-we'll get to the bottom

of-of whatever's causing this, um, anomaly.

Promise me.

Yes.

I give you my word.

MAN: You're having doubts.

Cruciamentum is not easy for slayer or watcher.

But it's been done this way for a dozen centuries

Whenever a slayer turns 18.

It's a time-honored rite of passage.

It's an archaic exercise in cruelty.

To lock her in this tomb...

weakened, defenseless.

To unleash that on her.

If any one

of the Council still had actual contact

with a slayer, they would see,

but I'm the one in the thick of it.

Which is why you're not qualified to make this decision.

You're too close.

That's not true.

A slayer's not just physical prowess.

She must have cunning, imagination,

a confidence derived from self-reliance.

And believe me, once this is all over,

your Buffy will be stronger for it.

Or she'll be dead for it.

Rupert.

If this girl is everything you say,

then you've nothing to worry about.

Uh, sir, if you can spare me for a short spell,

I'll need to make a run to the hardware store.

I just need some-- (man screaming)

Take care of it.

(sighs)

(man grunting)

(growling)

Come on. Come on.

Kralik, your pills.

Open your mouth.

That's enough.

Close it up.

Ah-ha! A curse on slayers.

Oh, no, wait. It-it's lawyers.

XANDER: You know, maybe we're on the wrong

track with the whole spell, curse, and whammy thing.

Maybe what we should be looking for is something like,

um... Slayer Kryptonite.

Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills.

You're assuming I meant the green Kryptonite.

I was referring, of course, to the red Kryptonite,

which drains Superman of his powers.

Wrong.

The gold Kryptonite's the power-sucker.

The red Kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort

of weird-- Guys.

Reality.

Buffy.

I know you are definitely, without a doubt,

gonna get your powers back.

Thanks, Will.

But what if you don't?

Okay.

If I don't get my powers back,

then I don't.

I'll deal.

And there's a whole lot of good sides to it.

Actually, this could open up so many--

Did you find anything?

Uh, no. Not yet.

(Kralik screaming, banging)

It's your shift.

Pills.

Yes.

(screams)

It's coming!

(groaning)

Pills!

(groaning)

Take them.

Pills!

They're right in front of you.

Where?

Here.

I can't see.

Can't... can't reach it.

Open your eyes.

(grunting)

(choking)

Shh.

Everything's okay now.

Thank you.

It's beautiful.

You really like it?

Of course I do.

It's sweet and thoughtful and...

Full of neat words to learn and say

like "wilt" and "henceforth."

Then why did you seem more excited last year

when you got a severed arm in a box?

I'm sorry.

Uh, it's just suddenly

there's this chance that my calling's a wrong number,

and... it's just

freaking me out a little.

That's understandable.

Angel, what if I have lost my power?

You lived a long time without it.

You can do it again.

I guess.

But what if I can't?

I've seen too much.

I know what goes bump in the night.

Not being able to fight it--

What if I just hide under my bed,

all scared and helpless?

Or what if I just become pathetic?

Hanging out at the old slayer's home,

talking people's ears off about my glory days,

showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.

Buffy.

You could never be helpless or boring,

not even if you tried.

Don't be so sure.

Before I was the slayer, I was...

well, I... I don't want to say shallow, but...

let's say a certain person,

who will remain nameless,

we'll just call her Spordelia,

looked like a classical philosopher next to me.

Angel,

if I'm not the slayer...

what do I do?

What do I have to offer?

Why would you like me?

I saw you before you became the slayer.

What?

I watched you.

And I saw you called.

It was a bright afternoon

out in front of your school.

You walked down the steps,

and, uh,

and I loved you.

Why?

'Cause I could see your heart.

You held it before you for everyone to see.

And I worried that it would be bruised or torn.

And more than anything in my life,

I wanted to keep it safe.

To warm it with my own.

That's beautiful.

Or taken literally, incredibly gross.

I was just thinking that, too.

(humming)

Oh, you're up.

I was afraid I drained you too much.

I do that sometimes.

(snarling)

Ever have a tune you can't get out of your head?

It keeps playing over and over and over?

It drives me nuts.

Ah.

Thank you.

(grunting)

That is much better.

Mmm.

It's a game, you know.

We're not gonna play by their rules,

but... that doesn't mean we're not going to play.

Mmm, why don't you call your friend in?

We'll, uh, discuss it over dinner.

Quentin?

Hello?

Quentin?

Hob--

Oh!

(indistinct chatter)

Let's find out, huh?

Hey, sweet girl.

How much for a lap dance for me and my buddy?

Yeah.

(laughter)

Walk me home, Angel? No, I'm fine.

I can take care of myself.

(humming nearby)

Hummers. Big turnoff.

I like guys that can remember the lyrics.

You know, I wish I could,

but my mind just isn't what it used to be.

Let me go.

You didn't say please.

Get... off me!

Somebody, please!

Aah! Help me, please!

Somebody!

Somebody, please help me!

No! No!

(screams)

Stop!

Please, I need help!

(horn honks)

(tires screech)

Please, stop!

(horn honks)

Hurry! (Buffy screams)

When I hit him, it felt like my arm was broken,

it hurt so much.

I can't be just a person.

I can't be helpless like that.

Giles, please, we have to figure out what's happening to me.

It's an organic compound

of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressors.

The effect is temporary.

You'll be yourself again in a few days.

You?

It's a test, Buffy.

It's given to the slayer once she--

well, if she reaches her 18th birthday.

The slayer is

disabled

and then entrapped with a vampire foe

whom she must defeat in order to pass the test.

The vampire you were to face

has escaped.

His name is Zackary Kralik.

As a mortal, he murdered and tortured

more than a dozen women before he was

committed to an asylum for the criminally insane.

When a--

You bastard.

All this time, you saw what it was doing to me.

All this time, and you didn't say a word.

I wanted to.

Liar.

In matters of tradition and protocol,

I must answer to the Council.

My role in this

was very specific.

I was to administer the injections

and to direct you

to the old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.

I can't. I can't hear this.

Buffy, please.

Who are you?

How could you do this to me?

I am deeply sorry, Buffy, and you have to understand--

If you touch me, I'll kill you.

You have to listen to me.

Because I've told you this,

the test is invalidated.

You will be safe now. I promise you.

Whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik

and to win back your trust--

You stuck a needle in me.

You poisoned me.

(footsteps approaching)

What's going on?

Oh, God.

Is the world ending?

I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow,

but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.

You can't walk home alone, Buffy.

It isn't safe.

I don't know you.

Did something take her memory?

He's Giles.

Gi-les.

He hangs out here a lot.

Cordelia, could you please drive me home?

Of course.

But if the world doesn't end,

I'm gonna need a note.

(creaking)

Buffy?

Mother.

*

KRALIK: Mother?

(camera clicks)

May I call you mother?

My own mother

was a person with no self-respect of her own,

so she tried to take mine.

(camera clicks)

Ten years old, she had the scissors.

You wouldn't believe what she took with those.

But she's dead to me now.

Mostly... (giggles)

because I killed and ate her,

but also because I know

I won't be alone much longer.

I'll have your daughter.

I won't kill her, I'll just make her like me.

Different.

She'll go to sleep,

and when she wakes up, your face

will be the first thing she eats.

I have a problem with mothers.

I'm aware of that.

*

*

*

I was just trying to reach you.

I was on watch over by the boardinghouse.

Then you know what's happened.

Yes.

He's killed Hobson and made Blair one of his own.

Your perfectly controlled test

seems to have spun rather impressively out of control,

don't you think?

It changes nothing.

Well, then, allow me.

I've told Buffy everything.

That is in direct opposition

to the Council's orders.

Yes. Interestingly, I don't give a rat's ass

about the Council's orders. There will be no test.

The test has already begun.

Your slayer entered the field of play

about ten minutes ago. Why?

I don't know. I returned there

just as she entered.

Giles, we've no business...

This is not business.

(grunting)

(growling)

(grunting)

KRALIK: Hide-and-seek.

Hide-and-seek.

(exclaims)

Why did you come to the dark of the woods?

To bring all these sweets to grandmother's house.

(laughs)

(sizzling) Oh, oh, no, no--

just a little lower. Right...

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh. (gasps)

Oh.

Thank you very much.

(banging)

(banging stops)

(grunting)

(lock clicks)

(banging)

If you stray from the path, you will lose your way.

(grunting)

I won't take it all.

I won't take it all. No, no!

Aah! Aah... (grunting)

No... No! No!

(grunts)

Buffy?

Buffy, we have to get home.

(banging)

Where are they? Where are they?!

Ah. Ah.

(exhales)

You... you don't seem

to understand your place in all of this.

Do you have any ide...

Oh, my.

What have you...

My pills.

(grunts, groans)

No. No.

No!

If I was at full slayer power,

I'd be punning right about now.

No! Aah!

Aah!

Buffy, thank God you're okay.

Oh, that man...

(grunts)

I can't get these. They're too tight.

Can't you just...

Not right now.

Maybe there's some clippers around.

(growling) Oh, Buffy!

(grunts)

TRAVERS: Congratulations, you passed.

You exhibited extraordinary courage

and clearheadedness in battle. The Council

is very pleased.

Do I get a gold star?

I understand that you're upset...

You understand nothing.

You set that monster loose

and he came after my mother.

You think the test was unfair?

I think you better leave town

before I get my strength back.

We're not in the business of fair, Miss Summers.

We're fighting a war.

You're waging a war. She's fighting it.

There is a difference.

Mr. Giles, if you don't mind...

The test is done. We're finished.

Not quite. She passed.

You didn't.

The slayer is not the only one

who must perform in this situation.

I've recommended to the Council, and they've agreed,

that you be relieved of your duties as watcher immediately.

You're fired.

On what grounds?

Your affection for your charge has rendered you incapable

of clear and impartial judgment.

You have a father's love for the child,

and that is useless

to the cause.

It would be best

if you had no further contact with the slayer.

I'm not going anywhere. No, well,

I didn't expect you would adhere to that.

However, if you interfere with the new watcher

or countermand his authority in any way,

you will be dealt with.

Are we clear?

Oh, we're very clear.

Congratulations again.

Bite me.

Yes.

Well...

Colorful girl.

I can't believe Giles was fired.

How could Giles get fired?

So, how did you manage to kill Kralik?

Oh, she was very clever.

Uh, you go ahead and tell it, dear.

You tell it better.

Now... now, when you say "fired",

do you mean fired?

You're not cruising past that concept

any time soon, are you?

Well, it's just... I mean, he's been fired.

He's-he's unemployed.

He's... between jobs.

Giles isn't going anywhere, Will. He's still librarian.

Okay, but I'm writing an angry letter. You know, nothing's

really gonna change.

The important thing is that I kept up

my special birthday tradition

of gut-wrenching misery and horror.

Bright side to everything.

I'll just feel better when I get my strength back.

Give you a hand with that, little lady?

You're loving this far too much.

Admit it. Sometimes you just need a big strong man.

Uh, Will, give me a hand with that?

Grr. Argh.