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1
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,467
We gotta get
the fuck outta here.
2
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,729
[panting]
3
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,556
Come on, dude!
4
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,771
We gotta keep going.
5
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:20,901
I can't.
6
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,687
Just... just go on without me.
7
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,901
No way, man.
8
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,611
We fucking killed Santa!
9
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,067
I'm not leaving you behind.
10
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:35,203
[***]
11
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:42,331
[***]
12
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,455
I'm Cocoa Scarborough,
13
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,804
and we're live on the scene
here at the toy factory.
14
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,180
The siege has been
raging through the night,
15
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,137
but the gate
has yet to be breached.
16
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,258
I, too, have been raging
through the night,
17
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,885
but unlike the gates,
I have been breached.
18
00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:58,892
A lot.
19
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,143
Anyway.
20
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,475
What the fuck
are you doing here, Jack?
21
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:03,610
Hmm, let's see.
22
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:04,686
I don't know,
23
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,021
a little thing
called saving Christmas.
24
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,066
Duh.
25
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:08,358
Sir Blackjack,
26
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,781
the halls have been decked.
27
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:13,870
This is what you did
when I said have fun?
28
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,277
I mean, why didn't you
just jerk off the narwhal?
29
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,986
It's a fucking swimming unicorn.
30
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,446
You're not gonna
jerk that thing off?
31
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,326
You've got dried semen
on your face.
32
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,833
That's face paint, Jack.
33
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,920
Oh, no, your right.
It is elf cum.
34
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,380
[Jack] Three...
35
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,590
two...
36
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,630
one...
37
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,803
Merry Christmas!
38
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,545
[boom!]
39
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,849
Come on, Chilly,
this better work.
40
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:44,147
This isn't
my first brown-star revival.
41
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,647
Trust me...
42
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:46,769
it will.
43
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,978
[pop!]
44
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:53,816
Ooh! Yeah, baby!
The comeback kid is back!
45
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:54,823
Oh, thank God.
46
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:56,874
Chilly, you're a genius.
47
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,578
Kind of.
Come on, let's go!
48
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,998
Wait, Gretch?
What are you doing here?
49
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,077
Hold on.
50
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,162
Am I in heaven?
51
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,666
Because my asshole
feels like I am.
52
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,918
Chilly found you
face down in an alley.
53
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,880
Really?
54
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,547
I love you, Chilly.
55
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:13,338
I love you so goddamn much
it hurts.
56
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,223
Well, I love you, too.
57
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,676
Cuckoo-bird is here now.
58
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:19,512
It's gonna be fine.
59
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,676
Nick, we've got work to do,
60
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,515
but first,
I need to tell you something.
61
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,435
I betrayed you.
62
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,688
You go rogue, man,
63
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,283
you don't seem to listen,
64
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,817
and you act unilaterally
all the time,
65
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:37,492
so I teamed up with Jack
to murder your spirit--
66
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:42,002
but true Christmas spirit
never says die...
67
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,247
and that's what you have.
68
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,368
I'm so sorry, Nick.
69
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,036
And I forgive you immediately.
70
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,045
Hey, Gretch,
71
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,376
for old time's sake,
72
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,552
you wanna do
a brown-star revival, too?
73
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,221
Chilly.
74
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,600
Straw up.
75
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,559
[Jack] Coal mine.
Coal mine. Coal mine.
76
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,430
Coal mine.
77
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,806
Your throne awaits.
78
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,189
You mean this chair?
79
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,572
Fuck, I mean throne!
80
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,780
This throne?
81
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,239
It's taken.
82
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,859
How the fuck
did you get in here?
83
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,276
I told you, boy.
84
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,284
The reindeer fly with me.
85
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,752
[crashing]
86
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,369
[Dasher] I'm fine!
87
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,665
Right now the naughty elves
88
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,958
are being banished
to the Coal Mines.
89
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,752
You have two options--
90
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:33,796
resign
91
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,468
or be shot in the streets!
92
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,377
What? With super soakers, dude?
93
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,965
Obviously, you've never heard
of raging waters.
94
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,761
Bitch, I worked
at Busch Gardens.
95
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,136
I will cut you.
96
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,442
Christmas is supposed to be
about coming together,
97
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,897
and what happened here tonight
is not merry.
98
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,109
I don't know.
99
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,068
Coups are pretty coo
if you ask me.
100
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,899
And this was a good one.
101
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,284
This was a coo coup.
102
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,860
I'll give you that.
103
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,075
I mean, if we're being honest,
it was a 6 out of 10 at best.
104
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,407
Oh, please.
105
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,121
It was the coup of the year.
106
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,331
We made it all the way
to the office!
107
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,292
That's at least an 8!
108
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,501
You have a key to the factory.
109
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:12,790
Okay, fine.
110
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,126
Let's just call it a 7.
111
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,300
See?
112
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,798
Compromise!
113
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,760
We're getting there!
114
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,802
A wise friend once told me
115
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,764
it sucks when people act
unilaterally,
116
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,845
so we should do
the opposite of that.
117
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,640
We should do...
118
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,814
democracy.
119
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,902
Like an election?
120
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,807
Oh, my God, that's genius.
121
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,816
[Ebba] Blackjack, sir?
122
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,147
Ebba, what the fuck?
123
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:37,652
This would take
my 7 out of 10 coup
124
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,664
and turn it into
a 10 out of 10 king-slay.
125
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,907
Fo sho.
126
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,488
Twist the knife, Blackjack.
127
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,993
Negotiate for more.
128
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,996
I'll play your little game,
129
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,329
but if I win...
130
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:53,673
I get to banish you
from the North Pole...
131
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,090
forever.
132
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,548
Son, you have a deal.
133
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,718
Hey, Nick...
[whistles]
134
00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,917
[whispers] I just helped Jack
135
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,006
build a very strong coalition
against you.
136
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,393
So we'll unbuild it.
137
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,889
Or we won't.
138
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,520
Whatever happens is fine.
139
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,677
As long as Jack's happy.
140
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,726
You have a deal.
141
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,559
But can we just
talk for a second?
142
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,984
That's a hard pass.
143
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,613
And, Dad, remember,
144
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,029
this election season,
145
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,069
you better watch out,
146
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,281
you better
147
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,321
not
148
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,414
cry.
149
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,369
[static crackles]
150
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,288
[Jack] Chaos.
151
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,157
Drugs.
152
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,584
X-rated pornography.
153
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:35,343
This isn't the world
our children should grow up in.
154
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,457
Is it, Mattrick?
155
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,963
No siree, Blackjack.
156
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,014
Terror.
157
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,217
Vote for me
158
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,586
and I will protect
your children.
159
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,644
I will get you back to work.
160
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:48,768
I, and I alone,
can end this naughty war.
161
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,098
[Gretchen] Nick, as you know,
162
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,403
candy's the second largest
business in the North Pole,
163
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,647
and when it comes to votes,
164
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,820
no one sweetens the pot
like Lord Cane.
165
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,949
I'm the most
bi-polar guy around.
166
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,277
With a sugar addiction
167
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,742
that shoulda put me
in the ground.
168
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,872
Pixie sticks, sugar plums--
169
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,619
anything I can fit in me mouth.
170
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,581
Go to sleep on the North Pole,
171
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,081
and wake up on the South.
172
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,333
But, Gretchen,
173
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,544
what's your excuse
174
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,423
for all this
political flip-flopping?
175
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,670
You don't have
unpredictable mood swings
176
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,423
from excessive gum dropping.
177
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,594
Oh shut the fuck up, Candy Mane.
178
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,893
I know you embezzled
15,000 pounds of laffy taffy
179
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,678
for that little
sugar addiction of yours.
180
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,182
So, give us the votes,
181
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,353
and get the fuck
out of this office.
182
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,312
Good golly, you're a hot tamale!
183
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,563
I shall help you
take this town back.
184
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,355
And Candy Crush the spirit
of your little boy Jack!
185
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,940
Maybe not crush.
186
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,945
You know, more like
an incredibly close,
187
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,447
you know,
one gets the popular vote,
188
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,568
and one gets the win
kinda situation?
189
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,655
Sure, whatever you say, man.
190
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,624
Now, are we gonna hit
some rails or not?
191
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,092
Gurl, I'm flipping
these fucknuggets
192
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,339
like flapjacks.
193
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:06,760
Oh, this canvassing
is making me so hot.
194
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,431
Let's go back to my place
and I'm gonna smash you.
195
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:10,641
[wheels screeching]
196
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,850
[Jerry]
Goddamn, I love democracy!
197
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,311
And in summary,
198
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,851
despite some shortcomings,
199
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,944
I do think that Krampus
is a very fine person.
200
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,610
Wow! I haven't seen
questions dodged that hard
201
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,359
since Mel Gibson
did a Q and A at a synagogue.
202
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,452
Nick, your turn to answer
the same question.
203
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:27,988
Do you like WiFi?
204
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,491
Yeah, sure, it's--
205
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:30,662
it's WiFi, man, it's great.
206
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,830
It's very helpful.
207
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,238
Could you hold on
a second, Cocoa?
208
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,584
Why haven't you called me back?
209
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,252
Dad, not now.
210
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,330
We're in a debate!
211
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,245
I'm not here to debate you.
212
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,173
Came to the debate
to not debate.
213
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,512
Uh-huh.
214
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,626
Just like you show up
at a circle jerk to watch.
215
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,134
Jack, I want you
to know something.
216
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,179
I love you.
217
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,180
And we're gonna be okay,
218
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,102
no matter what.
219
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,890
Look, I'm sorry if you feel
left behind.
220
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,935
Or shut out.
221
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,188
Or if you just want
to fuck off and have fun.
222
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,402
But you're a vital part
223
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,282
of the ecosystem
we call the North Pole.
224
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,780
And you're just 18,
225
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,702
and your pain is real.
226
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,240
But divisiveness
is not the answer--
227
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,254
especially among us--
228
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,576
the Clauses.
229
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,711
So, win or lose,
230
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,168
I'm here for you.
231
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,539
As a Dad,
232
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,085
a resource,
233
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,169
or even if you just
wanna do a duet
234
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,844
of "Buy You A Drank".
235
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,466
No. This is just a tactic.
236
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,431
Don't believe
anything he says.
237
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,721
It's not a tactic.
238
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,274
I just wanted you to know that.
239
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,677
And to the rest of you...
240
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,516
good tidings might be low,
241
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,401
and cheer
might be hard to find,
242
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,819
but Christmas Spirit
never says die.
243
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,242
Remember that.
244
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,487
Should be a good election.
245
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,449
As they all are.
246
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,028
Wow.
247
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:55,043
I mean, I've never really been
a Nick guy, but...
248
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,196
I'm feeling the wind
beneath my wings right now,
249
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,575
I'll tell you that much.
250
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:01,291
If you don't want
the North Pole to burn down,
251
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,332
remember,
252
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,535
terror, fear--
253
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,586
Blackjack!
254
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,588
[static crackles]
255
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:11,629
[***]
256
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,928
Well, the election is upon us,
257
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,563
and for the first time in years,
258
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,850
I didn't wake up
259
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,023
with a dark, motherless void
hanging over me.
260
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,113
I also did a wake and bake,
but with crack!
261
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:29,069
Early polls
show that Nick is in the lead.
262
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,110
I wonder what it's like
to crush your own son.
263
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,164
[chuckles]
264
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,277
Top of the morning, Dad!
265
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,573
What'dya think?
266
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,736
Oh, my god, you did it!
267
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,695
An exact replica
of the White House
268
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,035
from Independence Day!
269
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,920
Bet you'll never guess
the jelly.
270
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,174
[whispers] It's mint.
For the dead aliens.
271
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,130
Today-day-day,
272
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,630
we celebrate-brate
273
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:51,632
our Independence Day-day-day!
274
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:52,965
[Facetime rings]
275
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,839
Your speech blew up
the Internet!
276
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,142
The election's here
277
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:00,730
and Christmas Spirit
Never Says Die is trending!
278
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,062
Holy shit, dude.
279
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,266
They're doing an election
on the North Pole,
280
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,356
and Santa's...
281
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,491
alive!
282
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,607
Dude, we didn't murder
Santa Claus!
283
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,485
Fuck yes!
Ha-hah-hah-hah!
284
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,992
We're not fugitives!
285
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,155
Should we...
286
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,413
go back?
287
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,286
And just be like...
288
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,455
hit and runners?
289
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:29,803
What...
290
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,167
I don't know...
291
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,626
maybe?
292
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:39,386
Len, we've been to a world
where love knows no bounds.
293
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:41,885
Where penguins soar
294
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:45,353
and the tenders
are thrice fried.
295
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,645
We've been nice,
296
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,268
and lord knows
we've been naughty...
297
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:53,283
Maybe now it's time
to just be Len and Sven.
298
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,069
Sven, I think I'd like that.
299
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,493
Let's go check out
some windmills,
300
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:02,544
my magnificent fucknugget.
301
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:08,079
[***]
302
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,253
[Ebba] I don't understand
303
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,836
why you didn't invite
more people.
304
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,091
Like Terry, he's cool.
305
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,263
Have you seen
the fucking exit polls?
306
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,473
We're gonna lose.
307
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,064
Aw, fuck it.
308
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,389
[***]
309
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,725
Ba-bah-bah!
310
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,810
In honor
of Nick's upcoming victory,
311
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:32,105
the North Pole Marching Band.
312
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,820
[***]
313
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,570
I'm proud of you.
314
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,742
First Santa president.
315
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,370
Has an...
316
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,616
okay ring to it.
317
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,367
Hey, do you think
Jack is going to be okay?
318
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,699
[***]
319
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,075
People, shut the fuck up!
320
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,081
Shh! Shut up!
321
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,172
Shut up!
322
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,417
I think they're gonna
call the winner.
323
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,418
Welcome back
to election-night coverage,
324
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,750
here on "Morning Cocoa".
325
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,335
I'm Cocoa Scarborough,
326
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,170
and I've just been handed
this piece of paper
327
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,375
telling me who has won
the election.
328
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,425
Haven't read it yet,
329
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,758
but I am going to read it now,
330
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:02,763
to tell you
that the winner is...
331
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,096
Jack Claus?!
332
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,147
We won?
333
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,649
We won!
334
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,821
Oh, those fucking cunts!
335
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,439
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
336
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,276
Jack Claus?
337
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,451
We're sure about that?
338
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,159
Jesus fucking Christ!
339
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,449
He should have
just read my speech.
340
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,583
Yeah, I know we're live.
We're a live show.
341
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:27,831
I'm fucking Cocoa Scarborough.
342
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,212
I know the show.
343
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,999
God, what the hell
is wrong with you people?
344
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,052
You know, you really despise
naughty kids that much?
345
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,957
What the fuck
did they ever do to you?
346
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,756
Shame on you!
347
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,509
Shame--
hold on one--
348
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,352
Agh!
349
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,597
Shame on you!
350
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:44,678
Shame
351
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:45,853
on...
352
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,180
[beeping]
23290
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