Original subtitles

I have indeed been informed by my fiance Sasha,

That Ann has been carrying on an affair with Eva.

And also with Parker.

Both members of the Toronto Blue Gays team.

So. I asked them here under the pretence of a tailgating party.

Which is mostly true, I brought some orange slices, they're somewhere in the back there.

Someone has to tell Eva and Parker that they're being misled.

And someone has to tell Ann that it's extremely unprofessional for her,

to be cavorting with the opposite team.

- Ahem. Hello. - Hey.

- Hi. Thanks for meeting me. - Yeah.

- You gonna get out? - I thought you three would jump in here with me.

Come on in.

- Okay. - Okay! Okay.

["Play the Field" by Partner]

Maybe we can go to the LCBO and get some beer.

Sick. Ann do you think you could just move a little-

You know Ann don't help him, don't help him.

Eva you can help him.

Okay woah woah woah alright, alright nobody help him because we're not going anywhere,

so he doesn't need it.

Okay if he doesn't need it, why are we in the car then?

Could we just get some air in here? At least?

[Eva] I think, I think the child locks are on.

- [Joanne] Yes they are on, they are on. - Joanne you can't lock us in

[Joanne] Well it's just- can everyone just be quiet?

And listen up.

Eva, Parker. I don't want to blow up your worlds.

But you need to know, Ann has been dating...

...both of you.

We know that.

[Joanne] No, Parker I don't think that you understand.

Ann has been dating both of you at the same time.

Yeah, Joanne, we know.

Joanne I think the child locks are on.

[Joanne] Boris what are you doing here?

Oh I heard about the secret tailgating party!

Oh, you three brokering a little threesome?

No we don't do that.

- No, no, not today. - Not really on the table.

- Tell Boris. Looking the way that you do? - [Ann] Nope.

Okay, misread the room. Alright, bye.

- See ya Joanne. - Boris.

- So, so, you do know about each other, but it's not a threesome situation?

Good lord no.

I mean I respect you and everything Parker, just like, not like that.

Thank you.

Yup.

Do you mean like, you don't respect me sexually or?

Okay, uh, so I think uh, everyone's, everyone's clear on what's happening here!

Right, yeah Joanne? I'm dating both of these people, and they both know about it.

We good?

Baby how'd the talk go?

Hun I asked you to wait across the street.

Oh it's still going on.

Uh hi, hey guys, um I just wanted you guys to know...

... that this is not coming from a biphobic, or polyphobic place at all.

Okay? Joanne is just worried about the integrity of the team.

So if you could hear her out that would be great.

I'll let you guys carry on! Good luck baby! Good luck, okay?

Let me know how it goes.

Exactly, Ann, I am not calling you a s-l-u-t because that is a stereotype,

Right right right, so you're just probably uncomfortable that I'm dating a

No, no, no that's projecting.

Oh, okay, that's, okay so how would you like me to conduct myself romantically?

How can I make you happy? Do I, should I be dating an equal number of men and women

separately, never together, monogamously-

- Obviously not. - How can I be a good little bisexual for you?

Do I need to carry a canvas bag with me all the time?

Or wear more scarves? Would that do it?

- I hate scarves. - I love canvas bags.

It's not a man woman thing Ann, this is a getting into bed with multiple

you could share team secrets with!

Oh my god. Joanne, I-

I would never share Brovaries secrets, because honestly, I don't care.

I don't care enough about the Brovaries to talk about them in my private

Okay, okay, okay. Hear you loud and clear I think Ann.

- So um, I'm gonna get some air. - [Eva] Joanne can you turn the child lock off?

[Joanne] I'm trying, I'm really trying here. Son of a fuck.

Cause you have to get out, in order to let us out.

[Joanne] Yeah, I would like, I would also like to get out of the car, it's

- [Parker] Press the other one. The one... - Fuck.

- [Eva] Or maybe the windows? - Okay there's a bit of a malfunction, this

has happened one other time. Gonna have to call Subaru.

Okay baby I just got off the phone with the car service,

and no one can come for another like hour or so.

They're on their way though, so hang tight.

- Hello! - Sasha! How are you?

Good how are you Boris?

Well Ann, would you like to tell us a bit more about what it's like to be bisexual?

["Play the Field" by Partner]

Got a pizza coming.

- What kind? Pineapple? - And the hams.

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