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Today is a new season of
Toronto's Lo-Pro Slo Pitch League.
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Couldn't be more excited for my
team.
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I'm Joanne, I've been coaching
the Public Lass Brovaries for the last five years.
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00:00:08,584 --> 00:00:12,964
And we're looking so sharp out
there with our new uniforms designed by yours truly.
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I did this.
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Took a little design in
university.
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What is this?
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[Joanne] And we have been
working hard, that's right.
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Championships are won at
practise.
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00:00:25,981 --> 00:00:29,401
And this year, we're gonna go
all the way.
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["Play the Field" by Partner]
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Today we're playing our fiercest
rivals, the Toronto Blue Gays. [Spits]
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[Joanne] Yeah, Toronto Blue
Gays. I don't like to, pardon my
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00:00:55,666 --> 00:01:01,116
le shit, but Toronto Blue Gays
are public enemy numero uno, yeah.
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00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:05,610
A lot of bad blood. We do not
get along. We're like oil and water.
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00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,437
Brovaries, Blue Gays, not
friends!
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They've won four back to back
titles so, this year...
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We're gonna get 'em.
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[Zari] Come on Brovaries, bring
it home! [Team cheers on Ann from the
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Come on little orphan Annie!
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Strike out again, I'm gonna
have to change the wifi password!
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[Ann] Uh, my name is Ann, I play
second base.
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Uh, Joanne has been my landlord
for three years now.
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Uh, the rent's really good. Like
really good.
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So there's kind of an unspoken
agreement between us that if I play on the team...
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You gave her the wifi password?
Our data overages were insane last month.
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Yeah, I think Ann might have a
Fork Nite porn addiction.
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Joanne and I got the house after
I made partner at Lagari-Shapton.
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Majority shareholder before the
age of 35. Not bragging, just grateful.
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00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:13,231
Anyway, spearheading the mergers
of multi-million dollar corporations takes up a
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00:02:13,261 --> 00:02:18,611
And Joanne is so dedicated to
this sport, so just thought I'd join the
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spend some quality summer
Sundays with my love.
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[Joanne] Keep looking for those
balls, batter. [Zari] Next one, next one.
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I know what you're thinking.
We have to cut Sasha from the team.
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What?
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I can't cut her off, she's my
fiance.
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No, you shouldn't.
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But I think it's what everyone
wants.
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Do they?
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I was thinking maybe that you
could do it?
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Just cause, everyone respects
you. Something to think about!
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00:02:47,847 --> 00:02:52,267
[Mel] I used to play for the
National Pro Fast Pitch League.
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But I moved back to Toronto
after I got booted from the league for...
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00:02:55,786 --> 00:03:00,956
I'm not allowed to talk about
that. Fucking umpires man.
45
00:03:00,998 --> 00:03:03,168
But I am here.
46
00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:05,067
I wanna die.
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00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:07,870
I'm trying to stay positive
though.
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00:03:07,901 --> 00:03:09,701
I'm working on developing a new
remote control
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00:03:09,696 --> 00:03:13,356
airless field striping machine.
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00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:16,220
And uh, I plan on being fucked
up for the whole season.
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00:03:17,187 --> 00:03:18,047
Wow. Okay. Yup. Yup.
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00:03:18,912 --> 00:03:25,202
- What app you using?
- Tinder, FindAWife, J-Date, D-Date, Lady-Boy, Datey-Date.
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00:03:25,195 --> 00:03:27,055
A little bit of Hinge.
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00:03:27,093 --> 00:03:31,513
Hi, hello, my name is Boris.
I am um, what you call?
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Looking for a wife this summer.
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00:03:34,031 --> 00:03:37,731
So that I don't get deported
back to Dinkelsbuhl.
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Nobody too young though.
Not like, like Lee the rookie.
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00:03:41,866 --> 00:03:45,386
- You will know her by her cool
pants. - Cool pants.
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00:03:45,422 --> 00:03:49,252
- Thanks.
- She's a teen, and well, Boris is not a teen.
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00:03:49,288 --> 00:03:54,398
So there cannot be any
hanky-pankys there. Like verbotten love.
61
00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,991
You know like Jude Law and the
nannies.
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00:03:57,296 --> 00:04:00,676
I'm aware that I have an effect
on people born before the year 2000.
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00:04:00,713 --> 00:04:02,993
Not that the nanny was too
young, just that
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00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:09,785
the nanny, you know you
cannot... You cannot be having sex with
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- Cool pants.
- Thanks.
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00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:20,558
- There's actually a chapter in
my PhD thesis- - Oh man. Love a PhD.
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00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:23,975
Okay I'm assuming there's some
sort of acronym that I'm missing here?
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[Ann and Boris] Pretty Huge
Dyke!
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I'm the token straight girl on
the team.
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00:04:32,503 --> 00:04:36,163
So, you get the picture.
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00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:44,476
[Team cheers on Joanne]
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Sliding into first base, sliding
into first place.
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Let's go Brovaries! Yeah!
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00:04:53,179 --> 00:04:54,729
[Beck] New jerseys?
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00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:57,217
Yeah. Designed them myself. No
expense spared.
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00:04:57,217 --> 00:05:00,007
Why does it say Pubic Ass on the
back of them?
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00:05:00,048 --> 00:05:04,118
No it says Public Lass, the bar?
Our sponsor.
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00:05:04,155 --> 00:05:07,255
Hey Eva, what's this look like
to you?
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[Eva]
Turn.
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Pubic Ass.
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00:05:11,439 --> 00:05:12,649
- What?
- [Beck] Parker?
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Pubic Ass!
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00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:16,451
Okay. Okay. Lemme ask my team
alright,
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Ann read it out, what do you
see?
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00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:21,167
Yeah it's Pubic Ass Joanne.
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Baby, baby yeah it looks like
Pubic Ass. [Joanne] Fuck.
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00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:40,366
[Team cheers half-heartedly.]
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00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:44,609
Well another crushing victory
for the Brovaries.
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00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:47,854
Crushing defeat. I meant to say.
Defeat.
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00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,313
It's gonna be a great season!
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00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:58,069
Hello, yes, I'd like to speak to
a manager
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00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:05,840
about an accidental profanity
that was printed on a set of jerseys I ordered?
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00:06:05,872 --> 00:06:09,572
Pubic Ass.
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00:06:09,566 --> 00:06:15,226
Yes, I'll hold.
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00:06:17,470 --> 00:06:18,920
["Play the Field" by Partner]
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00:07:18,048 --> 00:07:20,428
Hey Joanne I think I see what
the problem is.
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00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:21,809
No, no, no problem.
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00:07:21,879 --> 00:07:25,949
Did it on purpose.
This is how I meant it to be. Pubic Asses.
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00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:28,581
- The Brovaries.
- So it's joke, not a mistake?
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00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:29,890
- Yeah, shut up Boris.
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00:07:29,922 --> 00:07:30,482
- Okay.
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00:07:30,532 --> 00:07:35,082
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