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1
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:20,900
'Sometimes, you get a good Thursday,
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'sometimes a bog-standard Thursday,
sometimes a shit Thursday.'
3
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This Thursday was mental.
4
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Thursday night in Babylon used to be
'70s night but they changed it.
5
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Thursday night is '90s night,
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which makes you feel ancient.
Thanks very much.
7
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l spent all night chasing after some bloke
who turns out to be mad.
8
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Like, really mad. He had
every episode of Juliet Bravo on tape.
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(Dance music, chatter)
10
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'So, it's getting late, lights on.
11
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'l haven't copped off,
Phil's not copped off and Stuart...'
12
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Stuart's copped off.
13
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Oi, Vince!
14
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Wait there. Don't move.
15
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- Where are you going?
- You've copped off.
16
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- l'm just getting his telephone number.
- Did he swallow it?
17
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l'll be ten minutes. Wait by the Jeep.
You've gotta get me home. Wait for me!
18
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So, he brings the car,
gives you the keys so you can't drink,
19
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then he buggers off. Nice system.
20
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- l'll give him ten minutes. l don't mind.
- He's still looking.
21
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- He is not.
- He is so.
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(Vince) He's all muscles.
l don't cop off with muscles.
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l mean, what happens?
He takes his kit off - Marky Mark.
24
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l take mine off - Norman Wisdom.
25
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l had a bloke with muscles once. Great.
Like being let loose on a bouncy castle.
26
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:50,600
- He's still looking.
- (Cockney accent) Shut it!
27
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- Shut it!
- Pat'll go mad.
28
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- Shut it!
- (Horn beeps)
29
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'Sometimes, you're halfway through
a shag and you just get bored of him.
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'So you wank him off in a doorway
and move straight on.
31
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,100
'Cos you keep on looking.
That's why you keep going out.
32
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,500
'There's always a new bloke, a better
bloke, just waiting round the corner.
33
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'And that was the night he came along.
34
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'The one-night stand
that never went away.'
35
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(Music, chatter)
36
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Excuse me... l'm just looking.
l mean, what's the best place to go?
37
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Depends on what you're after.
lf you want bastards, you go in there.
38
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,400
And if you want wankers, go in there.
39
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:42,600
And if you want selfish, little,
mincing, piss tart dickheads,
40
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then pick a building, any building.
lt's full of them.
41
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:49,800
(Woman) Bernie!
Don't be so daft. Don't listen to her.
42
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:52,400
lt's just a T-shirt!
43
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She's off her head,
she's been drinking! Bernie!
44
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($ lndigo: Haven't You Heard)
45
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:46,800
$ l've been looking for you
$ Haven't you heard
46
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$ Oh, l've been looking... $
47
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,000
The first time l copped off,
l was in school.
48
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,600
Mr Daniels, PE.
49
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:03,300
We're chatting away, football, or
something and he's getting his gear off.
50
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,400
Big, hairy bloke. Nice.
51
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:09,000
So l keep talking. We're in his office.
52
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He's got this cubicle,
like his own private shower.
53
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Next thing, he's stark bollock naked.
Fantastic.
54
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l'm still talking away like a twat
and he gets in the shower,
55
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pulls the curtain, half pulls it.
56
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,200
Now, l'm twelve years old,
57
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l'm thinking ''aye aye''.
58
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,800
So...l got in the shower
59
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:33,400
with all my clothes on.
60
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l did.
61
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,600
l must have been scared to death...
62
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but l don't remember being scared.
63
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,800
Had a good night?
64
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,200
Yeah.
65
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:53,600
l'm Stuart.
66
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:55,700
(Exasperated grunt)
67
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,900
- Got somewhere to go?
- No.
68
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,200
Wanna come back to mine?
69
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,600
l was fifteen.
70
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,800
l did it the first time l went out.
71
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,900
l'm quite proud of that.
72
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l'm dead proud of that. My first time out.
73
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Stuart Alan Jones.
74
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:20,400
He's looking down at me.
Like the face of God.
75
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OK.
76
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,800
Bastard!
77
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,500
Oh, leave me alone.
Sod off back to the gym.
78
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,100
Nice kitchen.
79
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:24,400
lt's great, it's really nice.
l never cook. Takeaways - that's me.
80
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,100
l'm always eating takeaways.
81
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,200
Pizza.
82
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:46,100
Mind you, l've gotta be careful.
83
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,000
l can't eat anything. l've got this thing.
84
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:53,000
lt's called, like, anaphylactic shock.
Your throat swells up.
85
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:56,900
- Packet of peanuts could kill me...
- You staying out here or what?
86
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,700
We had this barbecue...
87
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,800
last summer...
88
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,700
Oh, what is he like?
89
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,600
Go...away.
90
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,700
- Nice car.
- Yeah. lt's not mine.
91
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,500
- This where you live?
- Yeah.
92
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,100
Look, it's nice to meet you
but l'm up early tomorrow
93
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:12,800
and l was up early this morning and
l'm working shifts and l'm really tired.
94
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:16,100
Are we shagging, or what?
lt's pissing down.
95
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,900
So what do you like doing?
96
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,100
l like watching telly.
97
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,100
- What do you like doing in bed?
- Er, this is fine.
98
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,000
Rimming?
99
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,300
- Yeah.
- Excellent.
100
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,500
Go on, then.
101
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,000
- What'd you mean, exactly?
- (Phone)
102
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,400
Yeah?
103
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,900
No.
104
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,400
No, when?
105
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,400
When did that happen?
106
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:19,200
Why didn't you phone me?
Of course l've been out.
107
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:22,600
- (Stifled groan)
- Jesus Christ! Do you have to?
108
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,400
No, it's just some bloke.
What's your name?
109
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,900
- Nathan.
- Nathan, say hello to Lisa.
110
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,000
- Hello.
- So where is she now?
111
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:35,700
Yeah?
112
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,000
Right. Okey-doke.
113
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,700
Right, well, thanks for that.
114
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,800
Gotta go.
115
00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:49,000
($ Gabrielle: Give Me A Little More Time)
116
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,100
God, you've got everything.
117
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:55,800
Manga. Me dad's into manga.
You got any porn?
118
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,800
- One or two. Yeah?
- Anything good?
119
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,100
American stuff.
120
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,800
l've got some Cadinot.
121
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,800
lt's much better.
122
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,900
lt's actually got a plot.
123
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,800
This one's good. Service Actif.
124
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,200
Been trying to find Service Actif Deux.
125
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:19,200
Apparently, it's been deleted. l can't s...
126
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,200
- Shall l put it on?
- l haven't got time, really.
127
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:27,300
Can we just get on with it?
Sorry, but it's nearly three o'clock.
128
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,300
- Fine.
- (Belt unbuckling)
129
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,800
(Phone)
130
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,900
- l'd better just...
- Can't you just leave it?
131
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,000
l've, erm...
132
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,200
- Hello?
- Vince. Emergency.
133
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,900
l need the car. lt's happened.
134
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,400
No. No! When?
135
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:59,200
Hours ago. l can't believe it.
My mobile was off.
136
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:02,600
Who phoned you? Lisa?
What happened? Who was there?
137
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,100
There was no one there.
Just those women.
138
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,400
God.
139
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,400
Oh, my God.
140
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,700
Oh-ho-ho, my God!
141
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,100
Look, l really can't stay long.
142
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,700
Who's that? You've got someone there.
143
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,200
'Er, er, no, really, it's fine.'
144
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:35,200
Forget the car, we'll get a taxi.
You've copped off. That's a first.
145
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:38,500
No, really, really, l haven't.
146
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,100
- l'll get the car.
- 'Don't you dare.'
147
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:47,500
l'll get a cab. Shag him blind,
kick him out, l'll see you there.
148
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,500
- 'No, really, really, l...'
- (Beep)
149
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,800
lt's my friend. His mother's in hospital.
150
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,900
They think it's serious.
151
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,400
- l'll have to go.
- That's a pity.
152
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:05,600
- l was really looking forward to that.
- Me too.
153
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:07,800
l'll phone you a taxi.
154
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,500
- What's happened?
- Everything.
155
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,600
l'll have to go, anyway. l've got college.
156
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,200
College...or school?
157
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,300
Sixth-form college.
158
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:28,300
- How old are you?
- 18.
159
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,800
What year were you born?
160
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:34,000
- 1981 .
- Bollocks. You had to think about it.
161
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:37,600
No one has to think about
what year they were born.
162
00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:41,000
How old are you?
163
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,000
16.
164
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,400
How old are you, really?
165
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,500
15.
166
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,400
(Driver) ls it on account?
(Stuart) Yeah.
167
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,900
(Vince) Where've you been?
(Stuart) Come on.
168
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,700
(Vince) You had to bring him, didn't you?
169
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,800
Oh, my God.
170
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,700
- (Baby crying)
- Oh, my God.
171
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,400
Here he is. This is him.
172
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,800
Hold his head. Careful.
173
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,600
Started this morning.
Ten o'clock tonight, there he was.
174
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,200
- l wanted to be there.
- No, you didn't.
175
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,400
lt's like a car crash down there.
176
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:59,200
Oh, God. Funny shaped head. He's...
177
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,900
Ugly, aren't they?
He doesn't look like me.
178
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,000
We weren't talking about names,
because that's up to you and Romey.
179
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,800
But l just looked at him and said,
''Frederick?''
180
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,800
- l quite like it.
- What, in an ironic sort of way?
181
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,300
- Yeah.
- No, it's not ironic enough.
182
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:19,200
What about Alfred? That way, you've still
got the Fred bit. Run a check on Alfred.
183
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:23,600
Alf Roberts, Alfie, Michael Caine. Alf -
that American sitcom with the puppet -
184
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:28,000
bit dodgy. But that's forgotten by the
time he's in school. Unless it's on cable.
185
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:31,000
l bet they've got it on Bravo. Oh.
186
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:36,100
Alfred's the name of Batman's butler -
marvellous. Good name.
187
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,800
Alfred. What do you think?
188
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,600
- Great.
- He's mine.
189
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,800
Aren't you going to introduce us?
190
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,100
Er, what was your name again?
191
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:51,800
- Nathan.
- Oh, you've met. Lisa was on the phone
192
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:54,800
- when Nathan shot his load all over me.
- For God's sake.
193
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,800
Well, he did. He's 15, aren't you, Nate?
194
00:14:57,900 --> 00:15:01,900
- You both had a child on the same night.
- He's brought the trophy cabinet.
195
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:06,400
The most important phone call of my life
and he was there. l couldn't leave him.
196
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,400
You wanted to come, didn't you?
197
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,400
Yeah.
198
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,600
Romey, what the fuck have we done?
199
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,100
Oh, shit.
200
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,600
Yes, yes, yes.
201
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,800
Take off your watch.
202
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:37,800
(Nurse) Excuse me, please.
(Porter) Mind your backs.
203
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:41,800
Yes, yes, yes.
204
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,600
You're good, Vince.
You'll do good things.
205
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:47,700
- Could you tell if l had cancer?
- Why would you have it?
206
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:52,000
- l always think l've got cancer.
- She'll love it. Yeah, thanks, bye.
207
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:55,500
Bloody Ken - he's sending flowers.
l should have got flowers.
208
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,600
Nathan, get some flowers,
quick as you can.
209
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:02,100
You can't use your mobile.
You'll switch off the iron lungs.
210
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,300
There's a thought - l should have a cigar.
211
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,100
You don't have to do what he says.
212
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,100
l...l don't mind.
213
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,400
l'll, erm, just get some...
214
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,500
(Low talking, coughing)
215
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,500
(Vince) Blimey, bit nippy.
216
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,000
Look, you can see
my mother's house from here.
217
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:07,500
Come on, let's go back down.
218
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,700
lt's weird, isn't it?
219
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,800
l mean, he's real.
220
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:25,600
Just seeing him, it's like...
221
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,900
l dunno what it's like. l mean, it's brilliant.
222
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,200
But it's weird.
223
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,000
The most expensive wank l've ever had.
224
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:42,300
Oh, that's right, top yourself.
225
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:46,300
That's what they do in soaps.
Birth and death in the same episode.
226
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:50,800
Get down. You've gotta
be responsible now...dad.
227
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,600
That's it. Arms out. Titanic!
228
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:05,200
- King of the world!
- l'm always Kate Winslet.
229
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:08,000
King of the world!
230
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,800
Congratulations.
231
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,800
Oh, my God.
232
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,000
Vince, hard-on.
233
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,000
l have not.
234
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:49,200
l didn't know you cared. No one's
looking. Go on, get it out, get it out.
235
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:52,900
Fuck off. Six months
since l've had a shag.
236
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,100
lt's like Pavlov's dogs.
237
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,700
You sad bastard.
238
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:12,900
- Stuart.
- Had him.
239
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,700
You're going home.
You're going to sleep,
240
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,400
you're getting up
and you're going to work.
241
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:23,000
Then, you can work hard for the next 20
years. You've got a kid to look after now.
242
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:26,100
Absolutely, l promise. Yes.
243
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,600
Want one?
244
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:33,800
All right, more for me.
245
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,300
Right. Nathan, let's go.
lt's all getting a bit lesbian in here.
246
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,800
My waters have broken!
247
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,100
(Stuart) He's a calendar,
that kid, he's a clock.
248
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:56,400
A great big stopwatch
just staring me in the face.
249
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,800
As he gets older, that's all he can do.
250
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,800
Do you know what that means?
251
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,200
l'm getting older.
252
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,700
(Sniggers) Mind you...
253
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,900
they don't always live. (Laughs)
254
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,600
Meningitis - that's a good one.
255
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,500
(Vince) Stuart, what have you taken?
256
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,600
That's not E.
You only took it five minutes ago.
257
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:23,200
- What is it?
- Don't know. lt was expensive.
258
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:26,900
You don't even know
what you're taking. You twat.
259
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000
Hmm.
260
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:43,500
- (Horn beeps, tyres screech)
- Shit! Fuck!
261
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:47,000
Look, leave him alone.
262
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,200
l'll take him home.
263
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:57,500
l'm gonna fuck you. l'm gonna fuck you
all night, yeah? ls that what you want?
264
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,700
l'm taking him home.
265
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,000
- l'm going with him.
- Good boy. (Laughs)
266
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,200
(Nathan moaning)
267
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,300
(Gasping)
268
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:06,600
No one told you about that, did they?
269
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:34,600
That's it.
270
00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:36,600
Slowly.
271
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:39,600
That's all of them.
272
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:43,800
All the football team.
273
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,600
All the what?
274
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:49,800
All of them -
naked and in shorts. (Laughing)
275
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:58,000
And the referee's going,
''Yes...yes...yes...
276
00:22:58,100 --> 00:23:00,000
''ln we go.''
277
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:02,600
(Gasps) Slowly. Really.
278
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:05,200
($ Doctor Who theme)
279
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:13,500
- 'Ahh!'
- 'Die.'
280
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,000
- 'l will bring Sutekh's gift of death...'
- ..gift of death...
281
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:19,700
- '..to all humanity.'
- ..to all humanity.
282
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,200
- 'Ahh!'
- ($ Doctor Who theme)
283
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,100
(Alarm bleeps)
284
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,500
(Car alarm)
285
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:57,000
Oi!
286
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:05,300
You little bastards.
287
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,900
- You poof!
- We seen you! We seen you!
288
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,900
You fucking queer!
289
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,800
For fuck's sake.
290
00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:49,000
- What the hell is that?
- You did this map
291
00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:52,500
of all the places you've had a shag.
lt starts out Manchester,
292
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,400
but that bit's Denmark
and then you went to New York.
293
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:59,400
All right, l know.
You might have stopped me.
294
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:02,300
l'll have to get it painted again, now. Shit.
295
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,000
lt's the pens.
l've gotta get rid of the pens.
296
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:08,500
Right, well, gotta go.
297
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:21,200
God, the state of me.
298
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,700
- What happened to the car?
- Vince took it.
299
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,600
- Good, he'll bring it back.
- Can l have a shower?
300
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:30,600
Hurry up, then.
301
00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:36,100
- Oh, what is that?
- lt's the Millennium Dome.
302
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,700
- You met that bloke...
- That wasn't ecstasy. That fucking Anita.
303
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,400
l bet she sold me
dog-worming tablets again.
304
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,900
Go on then, shower!
305
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:51,500
l'm such a twat. l am such a twat.
306
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:15,600
'Don't panic. lt's Romey, l'm in hospital.
The contractions have started...'
307
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,600
Fuck, l've got a baby.
308
00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:28,300
Why doesn't anyone stop me?
lt's not my fault.
309
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,800
They should stop me.
310
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,000
Hey.
311
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,200
- ($ Pulp: Something Changed)
- (Beeps horn)
312
00:26:57,300 --> 00:26:59,200
He's here.
313
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,600
Oh, excellent. Well done, Vince.
314
00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:15,900
Then don't give me the car.
l've warned you before.
315
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,900
- lt was those kids.
- Doesn't matter. Company car.
316
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,400
Now, let's get our little lad to school.
317
00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:26,200
$ ..kiss to celebrate here today...
318
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:31,000
$ Something changed... $
319
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:33,200
What's his name again?
320
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,400
(Boy) Saw him down the chippy,
and he said, ''No.''
321
00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:41,000
And l said, ''You did.''
Just a liar, isn't he?
322
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:44,000
- (Girl) She went mental.
- (School bell)
323
00:27:44,100 --> 00:27:46,100
(Chatter, indistinct)
324
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,000
(Vince) Pull in.
(Stuart) He's going to school.
325
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:57,700
- Pull in here.
- l'll take him to the door.
326
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,600
- ($ Suede: Beautiful Ones)
- Stuart, they'll see the car.
327
00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:03,700
So?
328
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,200
$ ..meat to the beat... $
- (Beeps horn)
329
00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:10,000
$ High on diesel and gasoline
330
00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:15,200
$ Psycho for drum machine
shaking their bits to the hits
331
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:20,600
$ Oh, here they come, the beautiful ones
332
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:23,200
$ The beautiful ones
333
00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:25,300
$ La la la la... $
334
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,500
Ooh!
335
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,900
(Boy) ls that your mum?
336
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,600
First lesson - home economics.
337
00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:35,000
- Batty man.
- You twat.
338
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:37,000
(Boys puckering)
339
00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:39,500
$ You don't do without it... $
340
00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:42,500
- Can l see you again?
- Let's just go.
341
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,200
- Can l see you again?
- You can see me now.
342
00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,800
- Nathan, where've you been?
- Piss off.
343
00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:51,400
Aw, now, your little friend.
344
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:55,000
- l could meet you tonight.
- God knows where l'll be.
345
00:28:55,100 --> 00:28:58,200
- l could be in lpswich.
- Come on, boys, give us a kiss.
346
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:02,200
l'll give you a good fuck,
you tight little virgin.
347
00:29:02,300 --> 00:29:05,800
We're going now, Stuart.
Just shut your face and drive.
348
00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:09,200
- Can l see you, though?
- Oh, you'll see me all right.
349
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:11,300
You can't miss me.
350
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,600
$ La la la la la
351
00:29:17,900 --> 00:29:22,700
$ La la, la la la-la la la-la
352
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,000
$ La la la la la la
353
00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:27,000
$ La-la-la-la, la la... $
354
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:29,700
- (Wolf whistle)
- Who's the bloke, Maloney?
355
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,400
Your boyfriend?
356
00:29:32,500 --> 00:29:34,600
(Boy) You poof.
357
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,300
(Boy laughing) What's he doing?
358
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,000
l was just a shag. l knew that.
359
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,400
l suppose l fell in love a bit.
360
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:55,000
Like you do.
l thought, ''l'll never see him again''.
361
00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:58,800
How was l to know?
362
00:29:58,900 --> 00:30:01,000
Stuart Alan Jones.
363
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:06,200
Six months later,
he was begging me to stay.
364
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:08,500
($ Air: Sexy Boy)
27278
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