Original subtitles

Next bulldogger is cyclone Pete Jones.

Next contestant, Chris Hayward.

My word! Spectacular, isn't it?

Coming out of the chutes now, slim Williams.

It looks pretty silly to me-

Wrestling with cows.

Why don't they wrestle men?

It's too dangerous.

What purpose can it possibly serve?

That's how they get those pounded steaks.

You don't say!

That concludes the bulldogging contest.

Ladies and gentlemen,

While they're preparing for the next event,

I'd like to introduce to you

the lady who's responsible for this benefit,

miss Kay Kingsley.

Most of you know miss Kingsley,

but for anyone who happens to have been locked up

in a dark closet for the last 10 years,

she's written a lot of successful songs-

some of the top Broadway musicals.

Oh. She's asked me to remind you that I collaborated with her,

so I will, but I don't need to be reminded

because she's everything that any man could hope for

the partner or anything else.

And now, while the collection boxes are being passed,

Kay is going to sing one of our latest songs.

First of all, I want to thank all the cowboys who came over here

from Madison square garden to put on this terrific show.

Let's give them a real big hand.

Next thing you know,

these rodeos will be holding knitting contests.

Yeah.

# Once you find your guy #

# you'll know the words to all the love songs are true #

# and once you find your guy #

# it wouldn't matter if the earth split in two #

# those lonely days you dreaded #

# will vanish from your sight #

# the future that was dark looks bright #

# so once you find your guy #

# the one and only who is right from the start #

# don't wait till it's too late #

# but let him know that he is first in your heart... #

Man, Orvie, there's a gal I could really go for.

You could? Well, let's go over.

Maybe she's got a friend.

Shh.

#... when love is passing by #

# life starts #

# the day you find your guy #

I'm telling you, Orvie, there's a woman.

Why are you telling me?

Why don't you tell her?

You mean-ahh!

Sure would like to meet her, though.

Don't set perched up there like an old barn owl.

Just walk up and introduce yourself.

That's what I always done, and it never missed.

You can't do that with a city woman.

The heck you can't. I done it with a city woman.

Met Ellie Mae, my second wife, in Walla Walla,

right on the main street.

Happiest 3 months of my life was with Ellie Mae.

This gal's no ranch woman.

Oh, ranch woman, city woman!

Put them in a mother Hubbard

and on the long end of a churn, and they're all alike.

bucking horse riders, please report to the chutes.

Yes, sir, now, she looks stout and healthy.

And if you ask me, Chris, she'd make you a fine wife

and take mighty good care of them kids of yours, too.

Hey, you want me to go on over there and tell her?

No, I don't!

Oh, but, Chris, you do need a wife.

Uh-Huh.

Will all bucking horse riders please report to the chutes?

Howdy, ma'am.

Oh, howdy!

What can I do for you?

Well, it's me that's doing the doing, miss.

I got a t-off for you.

Really? What is it?

Well, I know a fella that thinks you're pretty salty.

Well, that's mighty sweet of him.

Anybody I know?

No, but it's somebody you ought to know.

Ha ha! Well, you tell him thanks a million,

and tell him I think he's salted, too.

You tethered?

Am I what?

Tethered. Hitched. Married.

No.

Well, good, because he's looking for a woman,

and it's time a gal like you was looking for a man.

Well...

she sure is looking for a man, partner.

Well, good, and I got him.

He just ain't the kind of a cowpoke

That cottons up to any old gal, either.

Matter of fact is, you're the first one

he's admired since he buried Martha.

Well, I'm very flattered.

Well, you ought to be.

He's a good catch

and the best dad-burned cowhand you'll ever see.

Sure she wants to meet him, cowboy.

Bring the critter on.

That's a deal.

First contestant, Chris Hayward,

riding buzz bomb.

All right, turn him out of here.

That's him, ma'am.

I wish he'd hold still so we could see his face.

You'll see it when he lands.

Next rider, Laredo "red" Higgins from Caramore.

Ahh!

Set me down, Orv.

Well, here he is, number 7.

He's a natural.

Nice ride.

Oh, thank you.

Set me down, you knothead.

How do you make the horse jump that way?

You'd jump, too, lady, if you had a hair rope tied around your belly.

Anyway, this is him.

Miss Kingsley, meet Chris Hayward.

Glad to know you, ma'am.

How about you gals joining us at "Shortie's"

right after the show tonight?

Chris will throw a hamburger bust for the whole bunch.

Oh, Orv, they wouldn't like Shortie's.

Oh, they would too.

Shortie puts more goop in his sandwiches than anybody in town.

Well, it sounds wonderful.

I have an idea.

Why don't you bring number 7 up to miss Kinsley's?

She'd be delighted.

Wouldn't you, Kay?

Well, that would be nice, sometime.

It's fifty four central park west.

Make it soon!

We will - maybe sooner than you think.

Here comes Denver Dan Bailey.

I'm awfully sorry, ma'am.

That's all right.

I'm not going to ring it.

I just can't believe it.

Me either.

I feel about the same way I did

when I bulldogged my first steer.

Hmm. Oh, my love,

you do turn a neat compliment.

I mean excited and proud and kind of hollow inside.

You know how I mean.

Sure. I felt the same way

when I bulldogged my first steer.

You sure I didn't sell you a bill of goods, buckshot?

You bet your life you did, number 7.

Didn't you say, "get your hair in a braid.

We're hitching"?

How can a gal hold out

against a long, tedious argument like that-

especially from a spectacular mug

in a red shirt?

I hope it wasn't that fancy rodeo stuff that took you in.

Like I said, that was just to get enough money together

to build up the ranch.

The way things happened in New York,

I guess I forgot I was just a cowpunch with a couple of kids to raise.

What are you trying to do,

talk me out of it?

No. I...

I just don't want you to be disappointed, that's all.

Well, I haven't been so far.

Didn't you say the scenery's wonderful - Mountains and stuff?

Yeah. That's a fact.

Well, there's nothing wrong with the children, is there?

So help me, buckshot, they're the finest little pair of fillies

you ever saw in your life.

Oh, Chris. Porgy.

Oh, again?

Uh-Huh.

Porgy's never seen this many trees before.

I might as well get out

and take a little stretch myself.

Chris, you know what a gal wants most out of life-Any gal?

She wants to be necessary to her guy-

not just any guy, but the right guy.

He's got to need her to sew on his buttons and scrub his back

and kid him out of those monday morning glooms.

Not that I'm an old hand at such chores, but-

this is it, Chris. I couldn't be surer.

You know, buckshot, I won't need to buy you a cow pony

if you can lope like this under your own steam.

You know, you haven't heard a word I said.

Oh, think I didn't?

I don't know whether you're just plain wacky, Mrs. Hayward,

And I'm just plain lucky...

or vice versa.

Hey!

# I'm up in the morning afore daylight #

# afore I sleep, the moon shines bright #

# come-A ti yi yippy yippy yea yippy yea #

# come-A ti yi yippy yippy yea #

# I got in my saddle... #

Kay, see that barn over there?

Yeah.

Belongs to Tunk Johnson.

Means we're almost home.

How far?

Oh, just a little ways now.

Good.

Hey, you're not going chicken, are you?

Who, me? Why, I can hardly wait.

Uh-Oh.

What's the matter now?

Do you hear that clanking?

Isn't it the ducks?

No. Ducks quack.

It's the con rod bearing.

Oh. What do they do?

They clank.

I knew we should have brought Orvie with us.

Yes. The 3 of us would have had such fun.

Orvie could have fixed it.

He can fix anything.

Not only can, but did.

You know how to drive a car?

A car? Yes.

Move over. Move over, boy.

Chris!

Yeah?

You think the kids will see through me?

Will they catch on that I'm as country-Wise

as a park avenue pigeon?

You think they'll hate me for it?

Don't let them scare you, buckshot. They're good kids.

Set the brake till I close the gate.

Never mind. I'll get it.

You think you can handle it?

You think you're married to one of those helpless females?

If I can't close a gate-Oh!

Well?

You think you got me, huh?

Very clever.

Wise guy.

So you got back, did you?

Howdy, Mr. Mears.

We'd have been back sooner if we hadn't dropped a hunk of the motor.

Thought maybe you took up ranching in New York.

What's that you got with you?

Didn't you hear? I got married. That's my wife.

Honey, this is Mr. Mears.

He owns the place across the street from us.

I didn't mean her.

Oh, I'm so relieved, I can't tell you, Mr. Smears.

Mears!

I heard you.

I meant that there animal.

What's it for?

Well, it's a dog.

I figured it was a dog, but what's the fool thing for?

Porgy, go bite the nice man.

Uh, Kay-

What's your bull got that he hasn't got?

Kay, you might not know it, but you're looking

at one of the top bulls in this part of the country.

Isn't that right, Mr. Mears?

Horns.

Hmm?

That's what Reddy's got that he ain't got!

Is that something to be proud of among you boys?

Well, I can see who's wearing the pants around here, all right.

You're pretty sharp there, Mr. Smears-

Mears, dear.

Mr. Mears, did Red Boy make grand champion

at the Barnesville fair?

No, he didn't. Got cheated.

Dern judge gave it to Tunk Johnson's bull again.

Hercules prince took it, huh?

Yeah.

That's too bad, Mr. Mears.

Dog!

Bull!

Well, I hope we don't see much of him!

Well, I hope we do.

And, buckshot, you got to be more careful how you talk to him.

What? That old goat? Why?

Because we can hardly take a bath without that old goat.

Oh, well, now, just a minute!

I mean the ranch. We depend on him for our water.

Ohh. Oh, well, that's different.

Move over, Porgy.

This is it. We're home!

What do you think, honey?

Why, Chris! It's lovely!

The way you underplayed it-

Well, I don't know what I expected.

Plus it'll look a lot better when we get it fixed up.

Fixed up? Why, Chris, I wouldn't change a thing.

Cougar rock, here we come.

Hey, where are you going?

Well, isn't this it?

No, no. It's over there.

Well, let's go!

Come on, Porgy.

Well?

Well, what?

Uh, disappointed?

Oh, Chris! You're going to live in it, aren't you?

Sure.

Then it looks like a hunk of heaven to me, you dope.

What makes you think I have a mind of my own anymore, anyway?

Someday, I'm going to build me a layout

as good as Mears' over there.

Would you like a partner, Pardner?

Would I.

Hey! Come like that all the way from New York?

Hyah!

Orvie!

We broke down the other side of Tunk's place.

I didn't mean that, Chris.

I seen you smooching with the missis,

so I said, "did you come all the way from"...

yes, Orvie, we got it.

Come on. Give me a hand with this stuff.

Sure. Trouble, trouble, huh? Broke down?

I knew you should have took me with you.

Yes, Orvie.

Could have used another horse.

Chris, you know I can't lose any weight.

Where are the kids?

Kids? They're still in school.

Hey, how was the honeymoon?

Orvie, will you get me this one first?

Yes, ma'am. Excuse me.

Oh, hi, Albert.

How'd things go?

Everything's alive and kicking.

Meet the new missis.

Albert helped out around here while I was gone.

Hello, Albert.

Huh. Well, you won't be needing me anymore.

No. I got a good hand now. Much obliged.

Good luck.

Thanks.

You'll need it.

Well, what do you know?

Those dogs think nothing

of treeing a cougar!

Well, Porgy, see what they think of you around here?

Boss home.

Hi, Pokey!

Ha ha! How's the glamour girl?

You look fine, boss.

Woman good, huh?

You ain't fooling.

What that?

Well, that's a dog.

Me know, but what for?

Well, uh-

Here we go again.

Pokey, meet your new boss.

This is Pocahontas Whitefoot.

How do you do, Mrs. Webfoot?

Just call her Pokey.

You got the house cleaned up?

Everything spick'um-Spank'um.

Me go. Make you bed now.

She's a character.

But, man, can she cook. Wait till you taste her hominy grits.

I can't wait.

Hi! Hi, daddy!

Daddy!

Hiya, sprouts!

Hi, daddy!

How are you?

Man, am I glad to see you!

We saw you from way up on Piney-creek trail.

We almost burned our britches getting back.

You did, huh?

I didn't miss you any, either.

Looks like we gals see eye to eye on certain matters.

Oh.

Daddy, is that her?

Yeah. That's the wicked stepmother,

just arrived on a broom.

Mrs. Hayward, meet your ready-Made family.

The runt here is Christina,

and this old, wrinkled one is Nancy,

otherwise known as Tina and Nan.

Hello.

Well, if I've got to live with 3 females,

I'm glad none of them is gabby.

Look! A dog with muffs!

They're cuffs. Porgy's a boy.

Kay's a laugh a minute, isn't she?

I brought you something from New York.

Would you like to come and see it?

Sure, they'd like to go and see it.

You can show Kay the house, too.

I'll take care of your horses.

You run along. Well, go ahead.

This is the kitchen.

We eat here.

That's nice.

Down this way.

This here's the parlor, ma'am.

We don't use it much.

Looks nice and comfortable.

We like it.

That Pokey's been eating her breakfast in here again!

You just tell her to quit it.

I will. Don't worry.

This way, ma'am.

Oh, my!

Don't let it bother you, ma'am.

Happens all the time.

It does?

That's the bathroom, ma'am.

This is our room.

Oh. Pretty.

This is daddy's room.

Oh.

Well, it's very nice.

Oh! My goodness!

We should have told you about that.

Orvie's been going to fix it.

Well, I think he - He'd better fix it.

My goodness! Something like that can be dangerous.

Has that always been like that?

Oh, here's your presents.

I put them right here on top

so I'd have them just as soon as I got here.

Now, let's see. This is for you.

Thank you, ma'am.

And this is for you.

Thank you, ma'am.

Careful.

Well, now, aren't you going to open them?

Do you mind if we talk to you first, ma'am?

Do I mind?

Oh, that's just what I've been wanting.

Come on. Sit down and fire away.

You start.

Well, ma'am, there's some things we'd like to ask you.

Especially if you're going to take mommy's place.

Well, I'd appreciate any suggestions.

Well... can you make coffee?

Well, I think so.

Mother always made daddy a cup of coffee

first thing in the morning,

with eggshells.

Think you can do it, ma'am?

I'll sure as heck try.

And she made clabber milk flapjacks on sundays.

Think you can?

Clabber-Flabber- Milked-

Oh, my specialty!

What else?

Whenever daddy got up on the wrong side of the bed,

mother always made him go back and get up on the right side.

I'll do better than that.

I'll make him get up on the right side

of the bed the first time.

Sometimes that's a chore, ma'am.

Oh.

Is there anything else?

About all I can think of.

I don't.

I do.

Well, I don't.

I do!

I don't care what you say. I don't!

I do!

I don't!

I do!

Wait a minute. Maybe I could help you settle it.

What is it?

Well, I think you're a little prettier than Jean.

Jean?

Jean Morrow. She lives on the next ranch

and looks after us when daddy goes away.

Oh.

I guess daddy just liked you better.

Ohh!

A watch! Just what I been-

just what I been wanting!

Me, too! Thank you, ma'am.

Thanks a lot, ma'am.

Oh, girls, do you think if you tried real hard,

you might find something to call me besides "ma'am"?

Maybe.

Time you got?

9:15.

Me, too.

Oh, daddy, these watches are wonderful!

They both say the same time.

They ought to.

She bought them in the biggest store in New York.

Gee, that's super.

Yeah.

We sure were lucky to find somebody like Kay, weren't we?

I mean, she's just what we been needing around here, isn't she?

Well, she's pretty and all,

and she seems nice.

Of course, we only just met her.

I think you're going to find she's pretty wonderful.

Sure like my watch.

But you've only known her a week or so, daddy.

You know, sometimes if you really want to know about something

and you study it real hard,

you can find out an awful lot about it in a mighty short time.

How come you married her so quick?

Orvie said it was like that.

Well, I fell in love with her like that.

But you told us you went with mother for 3 whole years.

I fell in love with your mother like that, too,

but it took me 3 whole years

to get up the gumption to ask her to marry me.

How come you asked Kay so quick?

This time, I had a hand from Orvie.

Oh, Orvie! He's always butting in on things.

Nan, listen to me, honey.

I know it's pretty much to expect Kay ever take mother's place but...

if you'd just give her a chance,

I think maybe she can come kind of close.

How about it?

Oh, daddy!

Ok, kids. Come on.

Climb in the sack.

There. Good night, pumpkins.

Night, daddy.

Jeepers. They even tell time in the dark.

Mine does, too.

What a day!

Kind of rough, huh?

What time do we get up around here?

You must be dead tired, honey.

Why don't you sleep in in the morning?

Get up around 6:00.

Ha ha!

What time did you say?

6:15.

You...

yaaaa!

You know, I've got a hunch we're in for a shivaree.

Shiver what?

Get into something.

Get into something special.

You're entertaining.

Oh, no!

Ha ha!

Kay, hurry up!

Hey, Kay, get out of the hay!

I just pulled a good one.

I said, "hey, Kay, get out of the hay!"

Hi, Jean!

Glad you joined the shivaree.

Joined it? I organized it!

I want you to be the first to meet her. Come on.

Kay?

Oh!

Come out of there, honey.

Oh!

I want you to meet Jean Morrow.

Jean, this is Kay.

I'm glad to meet you, Jean.

I'm so happy for you, Kay.

How's this for picking them, Jean?

Good eye, cowboy. Congratulations.

Here, you big lug, take that and put it in the kitchen.

Now, can I help you with that?

I think I've got it on wrong - Oh, dear, dear!

Such a pretty dress!

But it looks better if I get it on right.

Come on, folks. Let's get the party started.

Wooh, good!

Hey, I want to talk to you!

Hiya, Tunk! How you been?

Sally, take that out and put it in the kitchen.

Daddy! Daddy!

Couldn't we stay up?

Please?

You can stay up for a while.

- So you went and done it, huh? - I went and done.

Well, my heart sure bleeds for the poor little bride. Ha-ha!

Thank you.

Well, honey, this is Tunk Johnson.

He owns the bull that out-Bulled Mears' bull this year.

Every year.

Bully for you!

Ha ha! Well, folks. Here she is.

Meet the bride.

Me, I'm Bert.

Hi. Hello. How do you do?

Oh, it's you, Chris.

Want to cut in?

No. Later, huh?

I said, do you want to cut in?

No. Not now.

Whoo!

How am I doing, daddy?

You're doing fine. Wait till I get rid of this.

Ok.

Well, I warn you, Jean,

I'm going to lean on you heavily for advice.

You'll do ok.

You have the right kind of insides.

You have to have them to give up a career like yours.

I didn't give it up.

I just swapped it for something I wanted more.

Good girl.

Good girl, yourself.

You were a sweetheart to take care of those kids while Chris was away.

I don't suppose he's told you how he took care of our ranch

all those months my Steve was in the hospital.

No. No, he didn't, but then, he wouldn't.

No.

No, he wouldn't.

Hey, you two, break it up in there.

Coming out.

Thought you said you wanted some refreshments.

We just said that to get rid of you.

You're never going to get rid of me.

Did she shake any skeletons out of my closet?

Not a single bone, darn it.

Hey, Kay, come here.

Coming!

Chris' wife is just as nice as she can be.

But I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Men are the biggest fools in creation.

Jean would have made Chris such a nice wife.

She'd have been a real help to him,

the way she runs that ranch of hers now.

Poor Jean, losing Steve and now losing Chris, too.

I hope she don't go into a decline like Amy did

when Frank run off with that carnival girl.

# the man with the big felt hat #

# oh, the man with the big felt hat #

# at 7 a.m., his stock is fed #

# he's milked old Bess and watered old Red #

# by 7 p.m., he's back in bed #

# the man with the big felt hat #

# the man with the big felt hat #

# oh, the man with the big felt hat #

# around the ranch, he's kind of slow #

# looks like any other Joe #

# but you ought to see him at the rodeo #

# the man with the big felt hat #

Who?

# the man with the big felt hat #

# the man with the big felt hat #

# he always makes you proud anywhere, in any crowd #

# from what I hear, he raised #

# best darn date in 48 states #

# the man with the big felt hat #

# oh, the man with the big felt hat #

# your only competition here #

# is a cougar track that's fresh and clear #

# and I'll get that cat if it takes a year #

# the man with the big felt hat #

# the man with the big felt hat #

All right. Make a big circle.

Come on, hit it, boys.

All join hands, circle south.

Let a little moonshine in your mouth.

Halfway round, turn right back,

single file, Indian style.

Whoo whoo whoo!

Everybody break and swing.

Face the center of the ring.

Clap your hands, slap your knees.

Boomps-A-Daisy, if you please,

and swing that corner girl around.

Engine going down the track.

Swing around and come right back.

Uh-Oh.

What's the matter?

Look who's sticking his head in the window.

Well, if it isn't that old darling Smearsy.

Why doesn't he come in?

I guess he wasn't invited.

Probably came over to complain about the noise.

We're keeping Red Boy up, huh?

He's probably got Red Boy with him.

Pretend you don't see him.

You told me to be nice to him. Go and ask him in.

No. Tonight I'm having fun.

Whoo-Hoo!

Him and his water. Let him stay out there.

What's all this talk about water? The faucets run.

He's letting us have some, but not enough-

Not if we're going to make this ranch pay big.

Make him give you some more.

The old buzzard won't give me any more, not at any price.

Does he hate money?

No. Just people.

Oh.

Clap your hands, slap your knees.

Boomps-A-Daisy-

I'm going out and moo at him.

Now, Kay, wait a minute.

Why, Mr. Mears, I didn't know you were out here.

Evening.

I just came out to get a breath of air.

How's Red Boy?

Hope he's all right with all this ruckus going on.

Why don't you join the ruckus, Mr. Mears?

I ain't here to raise nothing.

Come over on account of the noise would have kept me awake anyhow.

As long as you're awake,

why don't you come in and have a good time?

I wasn't asked, so I ain't going.

It's my shivaree, and I'm asking you.

Besides, Tunk Johnson's in there.

He hasn't got his bull with him.

Come on in. You just stay close to me.

Hold it! Hold it, everybody!

In the excitement, somebody forgot to invite Mr. Mears,

so I went over and got him.

Glad you came over, Mr. Mears.

Let me take your hat. Can I get you a drink or something?

No. He's going to dance with me first.

Don't dance.

Of course you do.

Everybody swing.

Circle forward, go where you know.

I'll swing your girl. You swing mine.

I'll swing my own any old time.

Oh, golly, ain't that fine?

Everybody make a ring.

Clap your hands, slap your knees.

Boomps-A-Daisy, if you please,

and swing that corner girl around.

Make a fool of me, will you?

I'll show you!

Oh, Mr. Mears, I'm terribly sorry.

Why did you make him dance when he didn't want to?

Oh, I don't know. I was just trying to be helpful.

That's all right, buckshot.

He sure looked silly, didn't he?

On with the music. Come on, Orvs.

# man with the big felt hat #

# oh, the man with the big felt hat #

# Engine going down the track.#

# Turn around and come right back. #

# Clap your hands, slap your knees. #

# Boomps-A-Daisy, if you please. #

Ah, some shindig, huh, buckshot?

Yeah.

Only trouble is, it broke up too early.

Ohh! Ow!

Oh, Chris, stop it!

# Oh, engine going down the track. #

# Turn around, come right back. #

Will you look at that!

Party's here.

He's the one who wanted to get an early start!

What do you expect from a guy on his honeymoon?

Hey, Chris, open them pretty blue eyes, sweetheart.

You going to lay there on your coyote all day?

Look what time it is.

My gosh, I plumb forgot to set that alarm.

Get your pants on.

I'll tell you, fellas, I don't feel so good.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, Chris.

Morning, Kay.

Oh, hi, Kay. Swell party last night.

Yeah.

Me and the boys are going on a cougar hunt.

I forgot to tell you.

That's just dandy. Hope you have fun.

We ought to be home before dark.

Oh, we'll be back by then.

Sure.

Ohhh!

Excuse me.

That's all right.

Pull them up a little.

Yeah, I will.

How you fellas got this thing figured out?

Well, I reckon that pile of rocks

up in Mandeville canyon's our best bet.

Henderson claims that's where he's lying up.

Darn it.

How do you like that?

Boys!

Fix it, will you, fellas?

Don't get up, Kay. We'll fix it.

Have it up in a jiffy.

You know, Kay, you ought to get-

Ohhh!

...the other end.

...wouldn't have this trouble.

I sleep on the floor.

I'll speak to him about it.

Chris, I saw his tracks yesterday morning.

Sure is a big one.

Who?

Killed one of Jim's calves

on the other side yesterday,

so he can't have moved out yet.

We better get him before he gets some of our stock.

Ow!

Oh! No!

Oh, hi, Porg.

Whoa! What's that?

It's a dog.

What's he for?

Ahem. Porgy is an electrician.

He fixes radios and fuses and wiring.

We find he's a very handy dog to have around the house.

An electrician?

Yes.

Ha ha! Lady, you're sure a card!

My lifelong ambition, achieved at last.

Hey, what kind of a mutt is that?

A mutt?

Are you referring to Charlemagne Chafleur de la Fontaine de l'Ambriac?

No kidding.

Ok, fellas. I'm all set.

So long, Kay.

So long. So long.

Bye, Kay.

Nice seeing you.

Electrician. Ha ha!

Good-Bye, baby. Go back to sleep.

Oh, no. I'm going to get up.

It's kind of early.

I like to get up early.

Come on, Chris!

Ok! Good-Bye, honey.

Good-Bye. Happy hunting.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

All right.

Guess you're right, Tina.

She is prettier than Jean and lots of fun.

She smells awful good.

And they are beautiful watches.

Of course, the main thing is,

is she going to be a fair hand around the ranch?

That's what daddy needs most.

Won't take long to find that out.

Yeah!

Kay! Kay!

Oooooh!

Oh! Ah.

Kay, did we wake you up?

Oh, me? Little old bright eyes?

We've got chores to do.

Chores?

Yeah. Chores.

Oh, sure! Chores.

We'll meet you in the barn in 10 minutes, ok?

Sure. 10 minutes.

It's getting late. Almost 5:00.

5:00-Oh!

And I had to give them watches!

Hey, Kay!

We won't never finish unless you throw down more hay than that!

Gosh, Kay, we didn't mean for you to bring it down!

I like shortcuts.

Whoa!

Come on. Put your leg right up there.

Now grab hold up there.

I know.

Grab hold.

That's it.

1, 2, 3...

go!

Swing your other leg over.

That's it!

Oh.

Oh!

Whoa!

Now we'll show you how to bring in the cows.

Come on. Giddyap!

Don't go too fast to start with.

Come on, dear.

You girls go on ahead, and I'll follow.

Oooooh!

Hey!

Hey, Kay. Wait a minute.

Wait for us, Kay.

Whoa! Whoa!

Don't go so fast!

We can't keep up with you, Kay!

Ohhhhhh!

Oh!

Pull back! Pull back!

Whoa!

Turn to the left, Kay!

No, turn him to the right!

Whoa, George!

Kay, don't you know how to jump fences?

Well, I made it, didn't I?

It's that fool horse that doesn't know how.

Oooh! Ohhh!

Oooh!

Oh, no.

Stink-Um plenty good, huh?

You-

You give me that!

And do get out of that dress.

You no like-Um?

No, I no like it.

You get out of it, and hurry, too.

All right. All right.

You get out of my room.

Me go.

You pack your things and get out of this house, too.

Me go.

Oh, wait a minute.

You take off my slippers!

Hurt feet anyway.

And don't you ever come back.

All right. Me go.

Don't you ever come back!

What are you so happy about?

Kay?

Can we come in?

Oh, yes, darlings.

Come in, darlings.

Here.

It's for you.

Why-

It belonged to our real mother.

She was awful brave, too.

Take it.

Oh, I-

I can't.

Why not?

Don't you like it?

Oh, my lambs!

It's beautiful!

But I can't take it, not for being brave.

I was scared every minute today,

and you two little devils know it.

Sure we do.

But daddy says when you're scared to do something

and you do it anyways,

that's really being brave.

Yeah. Take it.

We want you to.

May I say, fellow club members,

that this is the proudest moment of my life.

Oh, Kay!

Oh! Oh! Ooh! My back.

Hey, buckshot! Where are you?

Hey, you still in bed?

You ought to see the cougar we got.

It's bigger than a young heifer.

Let's go look!

It's on the back porch.

I, uh, brought the boys home for supper.

Couldn't I meet them sometime with my clothes on?

Tell Pokey to get cooking.

We're hungry enough to eat that cougar with the fur on.

All right.

Oh, but- But Pokey's-

Oooh.

Shot him right through there.

Oh, daddy, he isn't such a big one.

Oh, is that so? He was a tough old cat, anyway.

It took two shots to get him.

Two shots!

You're slipping!

Did you kids get your chores done?

Not exactly.

Better get at it. It'll be suppertime pretty quick.

Oh, Chris-

Oh!

Oh, Chris...

oh!

What's the matter, buckshot?

Why are you crying, baby?

I can't...

You can't what?

I can't cook a cougar.

You can't-

Oh, it's not funny.

Honest? Can't you cook a cougar?

I don't think it's very nice of you to laugh at me.

But, Jean, I've got to have someone to help me.

You wouldn't want Chris and me to murder each other

while the honeymoon's still young.

The next time you catch your cook

wearing your Hattie Carnegie

and taking a bath in your favorite perfume, don't fire her.

Servants are not scarce around here.

There just aren't any.

Julia Cradock gets around.

She may know of someone.

Wonder where Julia is.

She must be ailing,

not to get to the phone.

Hi. I had to run baste my chicken.

Listen, there's a fella

used to cook for lumber camps-

Oh, no! Kay wouldn't have him around.

He's been in jail a couple of times

For setting fires.

Some time back, I heard

of a girl in Barnesville

that wanted to hire out.

Oh, I forgot.

She just had an operation.

She did? Tell me all about it.

Was it bad?

You should have seen

the size of the stones

they took out of her.

You don't say!

What doctor did she have?

Come on. Put some beef into it.

Beef? How are you going to get any beef

with Kay cooking nothing but farina with lumps?

Give her time. She'll learn.

In the meantime, a fella could starve!

Uh-Oh. There's old ice-Cream puss.

Wonder what he wants.

That ice cream sure melted fast

on his hot neck, didn't it? Ha ha!

Howdy, Mr. Mears.

Hi, Mr. Mears.

I was just telling Chris,

that ice cream sure melted fast-

What did I say?

Want to sell your place, Hayward?

What gave you that idea?

Oh, just thinking is all.

You might as well quit thinking.

It's not for sale.

Maybe?

No "maybes."

Maybe.

Huh.

You can say that again, partner.

Well, let's take it around the corner.

Here, you staple it.

Buzzard.

Wait till I get it stretched.

Chris! Chris, help!

Orvie, come on!

Stove's on fire.

No. It's just that damper again.

Closes up by itself every once in a while.

Whenever it does that, just give it a couple of whacks-

Like that, see?

Oh.

That'll open it up.

See? It's drawing better already.

Help! Help!

Oh, what's the matter with Orvie now?

What are you doing in there?

Chris!

You see? It's easy, just like playing golf.

Keep your head down and your eye on the bucket.

Oh, I'm sorry, Daisy.

I forgot to get my manicure this morning.

She's about empty. You can let go now.

Oop! Gosh, I-

Ah, you're a veteran.

Yeah. Of which war?

Here.

Well, what was my timing on that bucket?

What do you care?

You filled it, didn't you?

Thanks to you.

Oh, Jean, there's so much to learn.

Bronco busting and butchering and water divining-

Now, wait a minute.

Well, am I a rancher's wife or not?

What Chris needs around here is a fair hand,

not a little wife who's going to sit by the fireside

with her petit point.

What Chris needs is you.

Oh, you. Every time I get bogged down,

you come along with a well-timed remark.

Chris was a fool not to marry you.

A guy usually has to be in love with a gal

before he asks her to marry him.

Why haven't you put poison in my soup?

Don't think I wasn't tempted

till I'd known you about 5 minutes.

All right, now let's see you cut out your horse.

Ok.

Nice big loop.

All right.

Open.

All right. Which one would you like?

Take it easy.

That's the girl! Right on the nose.

Whoa!

Help!

Aah!

What happened?

You forgot one small detail-

to let go of the rope.

Oh, no!

Oh. Oh!

Cookbook.

Pot roast.

"Fish..."

"Soup..."

"Once you find your guy."

Hmm.

Porg. Oh, porg, who would have thought

4 months around here would do that to you-

or me either?

What do you want?

What do you want?

No!

Well, nobody can say there's a caste system on this ranch, anyway.

I hope you can support them.

Oh, my biscuits!

What did I do wrong this time?

This book can't be right.

Oh... oh!

Oh, my wash!

Dandy!

Such a place...

dust and dirt.

Oh.

Oh, no, you don't.

Ooh!

No.

Close that door!

No!

Yes.

Give me a hand.

Here, help me. If you'll take hold of-

Oh, grab that window.

Can't you even say hello?

Don't tell me you were blown all the way from New York.

Just from the depot.

That's right. Let's grab this one.

I hope the roof is nailed on tight.

Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh...

baby, you look like a bad review come to life.

Oh...

oh, Jed.

Oh, I am glad to see you.

Well, the guy who thought he'd get scalped

if he traveled west of Times Square.

Ha ha! All is forgiven?

That's what you think.

Don't tell me you came all the way out here just to get a laugh.

Uh-Uh. I came to take you back with me.

You what?

How long before you can be packed?

Well, hey...

Don't get me wrong.

We were in business together, too, remember?

Yes, I remember.

That guy I teamed up with after you left didn't work out.

The score stinks-

None of that Kay Kingsley sparkle.

The show will die on its feet.

Oh, Jed. Ha ha!

Oh, you're confusing me with some other chick.

Mrs. Chris Hayward. I already have a job.

What a job.

And what does it pay you?

Ooh!

Nothing you can see, Jed.

Don't they use money out here?

Why, with what you'd make in this new show,

you could buy cattle with gold rings in their noses.

Well, now, who wants cattle with gold-

Water...

what was that? Water?

I could buy us a place with plenty of water.

Don't tell me you haven't got water out here.

Not enough for what we're planning.

Yeah. I could buy us a place running over with it.

A few weeks' work with me in New York,

and you can have your little dogies guzzling champagne.

It might only take a few weeks, huh?

We might be able to knock it off in less than that.

Yeah.

I... I think Chris would understand.

He wouldn't worry.

He knows I've got New York out of my system.

Daddy! Daddy!

Haven't got time to talk to you now, kids.

But this is very important.

What'll we do?

Better get back and watch them.

Well, think it over, Kay.

I'll be at the juniper junction hotel.

No, no. You wait just right here.

You have to help me tell Chris.

No, no, you don't need me.

You can handle it much better by yourself.

Well, all right.

I'll telephone you as soon as I've broken the news.

Now you're being practical.

Oh...

it's better than it was.

- Good-Bye. - Good-Bye.

Yeah, gee.. New York.

Oh, I don't think Chris would object.

Gosh, it may get that Mears off his neck.

Gee, Kay, we don't want to go to bed.

We want to stay up and see daddy.

You can see daddy in the morning.

You both look a little tired,

and daddy said he might be late.

You know how it is when the boys get together

on those strictly male enterprises.

Work, they call it.

Come on, now. Get undressed.

Hurry up, and I'll come back

and kiss you good night in a minute. Hurry up.

Shoot.

Aw, gee.

Chris, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm all right. I'm just bushed, that's all.

Chris, you're hurt.

No. We just butchered a beef.

Oh.

Thanks.

Oh, I thought you were having fun for yourself.

Having fun, huh?

Sort of a private rodeo.

Darling, you are tired...

terribly tired.

And such a mess.

Yeah, I guess I am.

Chris, it never used to get to you like this in New York-

All the riding and bulldogging.

Silk shirt and the prize money and the folks cheering.

That was the cream, baby.

Today was the bread and butter.

Continuous performance, no rest between shows.

Oh...

Don't look so big-eyed. I'm just plain old tired.

Any rancher worth his salt gets this way once in a while.

Oh, come on. Get cleaned up.

Just let me sit here a minute, huh?

No. Now, come on. Get a nice, hot bath and some food,

and you'll be good as new.

Ok.

Hurry up.

You know something, buckshot?

The house used to be dark when I'd get home.

Nights like this, I'd fall into bed

with my clothes on and my belly empty.

But now I...

you're really something.

I'm living now.

Boy, I'm really living.

Give me the hotel, will you, Tess?

Did Kay tell this Jed fella she'd-

Well, she didn't say she wouldn't.

But you'll ask Kay not to go, won't you, daddy?

She won't if you say not to.

Well, sprouts, that's kind of up to Kay

to decide for herself.

We've got enough to answer for already.

You see, it's like we caught a lark

and tried to make a barn swallow out of it.

But-But I don't want Kay to go, daddy.

What will we do without her?

My guess is you'd never wash your ears.

If you think I'm going to give you a break like that, you're crazy.

Kay.

Oh, Chris. Oh...

Don't ever do that to me again, baby.

Hello? Hello?

Is this still you, that Jed person?

Because if it is, Kay gave you her answer,

and if you know what's good for you,

You'll just scat.

The idea!

Maybe a little tar and feathers would do it.

And ride out of town on a rail.

My man would lend a hand,

but his back's starting to hurt again.

It is?

Maybe it's like that rheumatism I had in my neck last-

You'll do, cowboy.

You're pretty fair yourself, cowboy.

I'm going into town with Jean.

Pick me up a couple of suits of underwear, will you?

Size, uh...

Oh, I know the size.

Hey, Chris!

What's up?

We're in trouble.

Fern springs is just as dry as a bone.

Dry?

It just ain't anymore.

It can't be.

It is. That's what I said,

but you'll get the surprise of your life

when you get out there.

Look. There ain't enough left to wet a jaybird's whistle.

If Mears doesn't let me have more water, I'm out of business.

I'm going to talk to him, and this time he's going to listen.

Take your shooting iron with you.

There ain't nothing that'll make a man hear better

than to plug up his ear with a.45.

Out of the blue he says, "you'll do, cowboy."

Though coming from him that can only mean

that at last he thinks I'm a pretty fair hand around the place,

thanks to you.

You know, I may ask you to write me a testimonial-

"How to learn to become a ranch woman in 6 easy lessons."

You mean 60 not-so-easy lessons

and 60 bottles of liniment.

Uh-Oh. Laughing boy.

Thank you, Mrs. Jones.

Howdy, Mr. Mears. What can I do for you?

Halters.

Mm-Hmm, halters.

How is Red Boy?

Like he was that time he broke loose and run off in the hills.

Might be his diet.

You might try this new elixir - Very good stuff.

I'm going to have doc Henry look at him. I'll take this.

Doc's good.

Pow, partner.

Hi, old-timer. What's cooking home on the range, Pard?

Are them your brats?

Yeah. Ain't they something?

Been acting like that for days.

Just think. We hardly got here,

and already they're like they was born

to the big, open spaces.

Hey, maybe you can give us some information.

We seem to be riding wild.

Get your information from somebody else.

And who's paying for this damage?

These fellas are as friendly as a bobcat with hives.

Will $100 take care of it?

I hope so. Now, what do you want to know?

Where we're aiming for is Peyton Briggs' place.

Yeah, the dude ranch, you know?

Well, it's 14 miles east...

Peyton Briggs.

And then it's about a look and a half straight ahead.

Oh, clear as a prairie dog's eye.

Jean, don't let Mears get away. I'll be right back.

Roping every morning and whoopee at night.

Well, so long, old-timer!

Don't rope any wooden steers.

Come on, cowhands. Time to hit the trail.

Blamed dudes.

Cigar cowboys.

Oh, Mr. Mears,

I couldn't help overhearing you telling Mr. Klinger

about how fidgety Red Boy's been lately.

I had the same trouble with one of my very best milkers,

and I put sulfur molasses in her bran, and she just quieted down right away.

I'll try it sometime.

Now, it's important that you get the right mixture.

That's two parts of molasses

and one part of sulfur to two packs of bran.

Oh, Jean.

I'm so glad I found you. Hello, Mr. Mears.

What do you think?

What?

I saw those dudes again, and they want to buy our ranch.

You don't say!

Uh-Huh. They're friends of Peyton Briggs.

Are you going to sell to them?

Why not? The place is about as big as it can get

with the amount of water we have,

and it's just what they want.

Hold on, Mrs. Hayward.

I offered to buy your place.

Oh, you-Yes, I know you did, Mr. Mears.

But dudes pay awfully good money,

really much more than it's worth.

You wouldn't sell out to the likes of them, would you?

What can we do if we can't get any more water?

And they're the nicest people,

not old stick-in-the-muds like us.

They'll whoop it up from dusk to dawn-

Wild west whoopee.

You'll start living.

I ain't gonna have them dudes out there!

Well, then, it looks like you'll have to take your choice.

It's dudes for you or water for us.

All right. Water.

Well, they're going to be mighty disappointed,

but all right.

You heard him.

Yes.

Mears, I want to talk to you.

Chris...

You stay out of this.

I'm not asking you this time. I'm telling you.

I need water, and I need it bad, and I aim to get it.

Not till friday.

This is between Mears and me.

It's not a matter of personal likes or dislikes-

What did you say?

I said it wouldn't be till friday.

It'll take me a couple of days to get the papers drawn up.

I'll bring them over to you then.

You mean we get the water?

Starting friday. I know when I'm licked.

Well, that's the way to handle that character.

Wasn't Chris wonderful?

Oh, especially wonderful.

It was nothing. I didn't think it was going to be that easy.

Do you mind if I ride home with Chris?

No, no.

I can hardly wait to tell the cows.

See you later, Jean.

Bye.

You know, buckshot, I don't get it.

All I said was, "Mears, I want to talk to you."

I know it. I was standing right there when you said it.

And then I said, "you stay out of this."

Uh-Huh, you sure did.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but-

Oh, you didn't.

The chips were down, and...

I still don't understand it.

He gave in so easily.

Well, you had him backed against the wall.

You were so dynamic.

Yeah.

Well, it's still ours,

but we came awful close to having to give the whole thing up.

What do you mean?

I didn't want to tell you, but fern spring dried up on us-

our main source of water.

Chris, I didn't know that.

Well, what if I hadn't sup-

Well, suppose Mears hadn't decided to give in?

We just couldn't get by on the water he's giving us now.

Well, what-

I don't know what we'd have done.

Oh, gee.

You know, buckshot, I guess a lot of folks might not think

Cougar Rock is the best ranch in the world,

but when you build a place up from scratch

and kind of irrigated it with your own sweat,

well, you get a feeling about it.

I've always kind of felt like it was alive-

not just dirt and rock and scrub,

but like a real person that's never had a break,

and it's waiting to hit its stride.

I kind of sound like a real-estate salesman, don't I?

You sold me, mister.

Well, anyway, buckshot, we're on our way now.

You know, Chris, if we get all the water we need,

we'll buy cattle until these barns bulge.

We'll own half the state before we're through.

Yeah.

Maybe just a quarter.

And we'll buy bulls that will out-bull the bull

that out-bulled Mears' bull.

Yeah, bride of the cattle king, that's me.

Hey, queenie?

What?

How about declaring a royal holiday?

The boys are going on a deer hunt. Why don't we go along with them?

Sure. Oh, no.

I promised to take the kids-

I forgot to tell you. I saw Pokey in town. She wants to come back.

Of course, if you don't want her-

Oh, Chris, oh!

Oh, Chris, tell her she can wear my Hattie Carnegies

all at the same time if she wants,

and tell her I'll run a whole tubful of perfume for her.

Perfume, nothing.

You can fill it up with water now.

Oh!

You've never been on a hunting trip, have you?

You'll have a lot of fun,

even if you don't know the back end of a shotgun

from the front end.

Oh, my aim's pretty good.

Pretty good.

Mine, too.

You like it? Oh, Chris.

What time do we have to get up

to start after these deer, dear?

We'll get up around 4:00.

Oh.

Well...

I don't know about the rest of you galoots,

but I think I'll just hit the sack.

Night, Kay.

Good night.

Good night.

Yeah. 4:00 does come kind of early.

"Be back. Have breakfast ready for the gang at 6:00."

What a dirty trick.

"How would you like to go on a hunting trip?" He says.

"Never camped out overnight, have you, buckshot?

You'll just love it."

Brought me along to cook their old breakfast.

"We'll have a royal holiday."

Ok, boys, I'll give you a royal breakfast.

First, we'll have some coffee-

a little water, a lot of coffee.

Eggshell...

there's something for your back teeth.

Oh, oh! Chris!

It's a cougar.

That's what it is, a cougar.

What'll I do?

Oh, Chris!

What's the matter, buckshot?

Chris, I got him.

You got what?

He's right over there in the bushes.

I snuck up on him and shot him. What a shot-bang!

At first I thought I heard a sound...

What are you talking about?

A cougar tried to kill me.

I shot him. He's over in the bushes.

This I got to see.

You thought I didn't know

the buzzle end of a gun from a mutt, too.

He's right over here.

Oh, I can't look.

What did he do, just walk into camp and-

And he was such a big one.

Kay!

Is he still alive?

Red Boy!

No soap?

No soap, no water rights, no nothing...

from him, that is.

From us, Cougar Rock ranch to heal his aching heart.

Chris, why did you have to marry such a dope?

Oh, forget it. We'll make out.

I've wrecked everything for you.

Look, this isn't the only ranch in the country.

So we lose it.

I'll hit the rodeo circuit again,

and someday we'll get another place,

a better one.

I'll see Tom Ridley and enter the Hazelton roundup next month.

Chris, why don't you cuss me out

or give me a poke in the nose?

Don't get your Levi's in an uproar, buckshot.

Anybody can have a hunting accident.

You know, Chris, when Jed was out here, he said-

I know what he said.

Incidentally, thanks for letting me think I was a big shot.

What do you mean?

In the pleasant discussion with Mears about the bull,

it sort of came out that you and I were going to sell the place to dudes.

Chris, I was only trying-

Yeah, I know. Like you said, I sure was dynamic.

I'm sorry.

I won't let him do this.

I won't let that old buzzard pick your bones like this.

How are you going to stop him?

By going back to New York and doing that show, that's how.

Get this through your head, Kay. Ranching's my business.

Anything that has to do with this place is my problem.

You keep out of it.

Keep out of it?

You wouldn't have let me fool Mears about the dudes, either,

but we got the water rights, didn't we?

Yeah, we got them.

Then you shot Red Boy, and we lost them.

So you are holding it against me.

"Anybody can have a hunting accident," you say.

Well, they can,

and I'm not holding it against you.

Of course, you could have looked.

Oh, fine. Now it begins to come out.

Doggone it, all I meant was-

You don't have to shout at me.

I'm not shouting. I'm just trying to tell you-

I know I've messed things up plenty.

But it isn't anything money can't fix,

so why can't I pay for it?

No!

Why do you have to be so stubborn?

Why can't you be practical for once in your life?

Look who's talking about being practical.

You listen to me. I'm going to New York,

and I'll collect enough to buy you-

You won't buy me anything.

What am I supposed to do?

Go around the rest of my life in sackcloth and ashes

just because a big tenderloin steak got shot?

No, you listen to me, Mr. Hayward.

I know what I'm going to do, and nobody's going to stop me.

You're just talking to hear yourself talk.

You're trying to pick a fight.

Trying? Brother, this is a fight-

Our first and last.

If that's the way you feel, go on to New York and stay there.

Well, I will.

All right.

And congratulations.

You're sliding out just when things are getting really tough.

Hi, daddy!

I got "excellent" in reading today.

Good.

What's the matter, daddy? You look mad.

You sure do - Like last spring

when the coyotes raided the chickens.

Who are you mad at?

Daddy.

Look, kids, you're going to find out anyway.

I might as well tell you. Kay is leaving.

Leaving?

For where?

She's going back to New York.

She's coming back, isn't she?

I don't know.

Did somebody do something?

No. Things just didn't work out like we planned, that's all.

Does she want to leave?

What are you going to do without her, daddy?

I'm going over to Tom Ridley's. I'll be back.

Are you going rodeoing again, daddy?

Yeah.

But, daddy...

golly, maybe he doesn't love Kay anymore.

He said he fell in love with her like that.

Maybe he fell out of love like that, too.

Hello, angels.

Oh, Kay, you can't leave.

You just can't. We love you.

You belong here.

No, babies, no, I don't. That's just it.

I'm what you call out of my element.

What does that mean?

Well, it's kind of like a fish out of water.

Did daddy call you that?

No.

Now, listen, I want you both to try and understand.

Sometimes a thing that seems terrible at the time

turns out to be the best for everybody,

like medicine, bad-tasting medicine.

I don't mind taking medicine, Kay,

even bad-tasting medicine sometimes.

Me, neither. Oh, Kay...

Hi, Kay.

Oh, hi, Orv.

Well, what's this all about?

I'm leaving, Orv.

I know. Chris told me to take you to the station,

but I ain't gonna do no such a thing.

I want you to just put my bags in the car.

Now, Kay, you listen to me.

You're acting just like my second wife Marybelle-

I mean, Ellie Mae.

She pulled the same stunt.

Every time we had a hassle,

she got to packing.

Well, she pulled it just once too often,

and I let her go,

and I ain't seen hide nor hair of her since.

And that's exactly what's going to happen to you.

You just get out of them duds, and-

This is ready, and so is that one there.

But, Kay, you're not-

I'm in a hurry.

Oh, all right.

Oh!

Get in, boy.

Get in, Porgy. Come on, boy, get in-up.

Let's go.

Well, I guess I ain't no better a matchmaker

than I was a husband.

I'd say it's a photo finish.

# la la la la la #

Jed, listen to this.

Jed? Jed, listen to this.

# funny what a tune can do to you #

# underneath the western sky #

Buckaroo.

# sings a sagebrush... #

Sagebrush and buckaroos again.

Did you wake me up for that?

Look, Kay, we're supposed to be doing

a sophisticated musical reeking with Manhattan-

Broadway, Harlem, the met, the automat, and the BMT.

I suppose that's new stuff.

It's your stuff, Kay!

They don't want western skies over Wyoming.

They want stormy weather over Staten island.

Where is it-

that something that was always surefire for a million copies?

I don't know, Jed.

Maybe I left it somewhere at that.

Ever since you came back,

I've heard nothing but howling coyotes and jingling spurs.

I hear them in my sleep. I-

think I hear them now.

I think I do, too.

It's even getting Porgy.

Jed, we are hearing things.

Kay! Kay!

What are you doing? Put me down.

Well, I toted him to you once before,

but this is the last time I'm going to do it.

Put me down, Orv. Hello, buckshot.

Well, if he can't come here under his own power,

maybe you'd better just tote him out again.

Now, wait a minute, Kay.

Well, go ahead. Speak your piece.

Kay... oh, put me down first.

Kay, I'm sorry I was so stubborn about everything, and...

and she's got to come back...

'cause you're just no good without her.

That's a fact, Kay.

Ever since you left, I haven't been able to keep my mind on anything.

Or his seat in the saddle, either.

Yeah. Daddy's been bucked off every bronc

from Pendleton to Madison Square Garden.

That's right.

That's why I'm limping.

I've been having the same trouble with my music.

Oh, Chris!

Whoopee!

But, Kay, you can't walk out on me.

You've got to finish that score.

How would you like a punch in the nose?

Oh, Chris, oh!

Oh, Orv! Do you think you can tote all of us?

Just stay bunched up, and let's go.

Porgy, you're going to have to walk.