Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ Wash your face and brush your hair ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag, it's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ So down with school! I'm gonna rule! ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life will be so sweet! ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK! ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

Good morning, or should I say good early morning.

For once I'm up before the worm

because I have things to do and people to see.

Or should that be people to see and things to do?

We'll sort that out later because now...

It's time to wake up, worm!

You talking to me, Henry?

Nooooooooo!

Noooooo!

Gosh, you can stop yelling, Henry. [giggles]

I'm just little old me.

Well, if you're little old me then who's in there?

Oh, that's just Bunny Wunny.

I thought he needed a lie in,

so I got up really quietly

and carefully got dressed in the dark

and tiptoed my way downstairs and--

Alright, alright, I don't need to know all that.

[squeaks]

I need you to do something for me.

No detail is too small, Henry.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means what you want it to mean, Henry.

Look, worm, I haven't got time for all this right now.

Don't call me worm, Henry.

Alright then, wormy worm

Deputy Under-Secretary, is that better?

Nearly. Now, what is it you want me to do?

I am going to rewrite the rules!

Which rules?

The rules of the Purple Hand Gang, of course.

Ah, only, you didn't say that.

Let me get my paperwork.

[toy squeaks]

There's a lot of paperwork.

Indeed there is.

Let's do it downstairs.

Why?

Because there’s a Gross Class Zero marathon starting about now

and I can watch it at the same time.

Are you sure, Henry?

I don't think multitasking is one of your strong points.

Pah! I'm king of the multitaskers, me.

Introducing King Henry the Horrible!

King of the multitaskers!

[Peter sighs]

[chatting on TV]

Excuse me, Henry.

I said, excuse me, Henry.

-Can't you go round the other way? -[Peter sighs]

[Peter sighs]

What d'you need all those for, anyway?

If we're going to do this,

we're going to do it properly.

[TV turns off]

Alright then, where do I sign?

Don't you want to discuss the rewriting of the rules first?

Oh, yes.

Well, I just want to make sure that old bogey brain

can never ever be a member. That's all.

[TV turns on]

[TV turns off]

It's not quite as easy as all that.

Why not?

Well, because although

article 12, section four, clause 2.1, says...

"No girls allowed" [doorbell rings]

Cool! Could be my new Whopper Whoopee Mega Whoopee Cushion.

[sighs] This is not an easy job.

There you go.

-Copy for you. -Cool. Thanks.

[postman whistling]

-[jangling] -Bit heavy for a cushion.

Eh?

Congratulations, you are now a member of the Secret Club.

You what?

Membership is with immediate effect.

-Do not pass go... -[man coughs]

[camera clicks]

Peter!

I'm pretty certain a smiley face

isn't really a signature.

And what about this?

As long as no one sees you with it, you'll be fine.

Hey, Henry, heard you've joined the Secret Club.

What? Where did you hear that?

It's all over school.

"Read all about it,

Henry joins the Secret Club."

But it's not true.

I believe you, Henry,

but I'm not sure anyone else does.

Bert, you believe me, don't you?

I dunno.

What's the big deal about joining the Secret Club anyway?

Ahh, Henry, there you are.

We've seen the photos, Henry,

and we just wanted to say,

well done!

Oh, er, well...

We had no idea what the Secret Club is.

It is a secret after all, Miss Oddbod.

[laughs] Yes, thank you, Sidmouth.

And now Margaret’s let us in on the secret, if you will.

Oh, yes! Very good, Miss Oddbod, very good.

So, Henry,

what will your next good deed be?

My next good deed, Miss Oddbod?

Oh, yes.

But I didn't--

Oh, but you did.

Here you are

chatting to a little old lady.

Here you are

making a sandcastle.

Oh, and here you are

doing your homework.

So, Henry. Are you going to let us in on the secret?

What's all this about?

Oh, hello, Henry.

Or should I say, Helpful Henry.

Very funny.

Since when did the Secret Club do good deeds?

Since we rebranded.

It's all a secret anyway so no one really knows what we do.

Except everyone in this school!

And everyone in Ashton probably by now.

That's if the press release goes out on time.

Why are you doing this?

Change the rules, Henry.

No.

Alright then. Clock's ticking.

You don't have a watch.

Clock's still ticking, Henry.

[Henry sighs] Alright, I'll talk to my guy.

That's more like it, Henry.

And then have your "guy"

talk to my girl.

This could take forever.

Not if you're reasonable, Henry.

Don't you want your chips?

Oh, Henry!

Thanks for giving me your chips,

Helpful Henry!

They've been in there for ages.

She says she'll allow a partial withdrawal from the Secret Club

if you allow full access to the Purple Hand Gang.

No way! That's not fair.

She says, "Life's not fair."

Tell her I'll consider a membership of one hour

at a time and day of my choosing.

Alright.

She says, "Go whistle."

Eh? What kind of a response is that?

A silly one?

I suggest we agree to access for one day

but that we close the gap in the fence.

That way she won't actually

be able to get into the Purple Hand Gang.

She'll be a virtual member

but not a real one.

Erm, sounds like it could work.

But what makes you think she'll say yes?

Er, just a feeling I have.

What's going on?

We've got through the articles and protocols

and now we're working on the annexes and declarations.

I've got no idea what he's talking about,

but if it makes me horrid again that's good enough for me.

How much did you have to pay her, Henry?

Oh, just my pocket money for the next four years.

But that's like billions of pennies.

Yeah, I know, but that's the price of freedom.

Look at that!

Horrid Henry is back!

"Teachers and pupils at Ashton Primary

confirmed today that Henry is horrid again.

As Helpful Henry photos are shown to be fake news."

Double detention,

you horrid boy!

Certainly, Mr Soggington. Shall I lead the way?

[ding]

[Margaret groaning]

[Margaret groaning]

I'll get you, Henry!

How was your day today, boys?

Just perfect. Thank you, Mum.

-Henry? -Hmm. What?

Pardon, Henry.

But I didn't say anything.

No, I meant... Oh, never mind.

How was your day today, Henry?

It was good. I mean, it was OK.

I didn't get detention. Much.

Right, let's not unpack that any further, Henry.

What are you thinking about, Henry?

How horrid I could be if there were two of me.

Eurgh!

That's a horrible thing to think about, Henry.

No, it's not.

It would be like having a twin.

[slopping noise]

Is this carrot casserole again?

Yes. And?

Oh, nothing.

Mmm. Oh, it's just delicious.

The finest carrot casserole I've ever eaten.

Really, Henry? D'you think so?

Oh, yes.

Look, I'm having another mouthful.

And it's even bigger than the last.

Have you ever noticed how many twins we know?

[swallows] Don't interrupt me.

I'm on a roll here.

Mum, can I have a mobile phone?

Really, honey bundle?

Who do we know who's a twin, then?

Well, there's Miss Battle-Axe and her twin sister,

and then there's the Hush Hush twins,

except there's three of them.

And then there's the two dinner ladies.

That's a horrible thought.

And then there's my twin boys, of course,

because I'm going to have twin boys when I grow up, aren't I, Mum?

[laughs] Of course you are, honey bundle.

Can you believe this?

How can you possibly know

you're going to have twins when you grow up?

Oh, I just know, don't I, Mum?

Yes, sweetie honey pie.

And I can't wait to meet them.

Mum, can I have a mobile phone now?

"N-O" spells no, Henry.

Now, eat your carrot casserole.

Nooooooooooo!

It's not fair, if there were two of me,

then the other me could eat all the carrot casserole

and I could eat Whooper Whoopees

and Golden Garden Gate pizzas the whole time instead.

Two "mes" would be quite cool, I reckon.

Double trouble, eh, Fang?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mum] Time to rise and shine, boys!

[Henry groaning]

Mum says it's time to wake up, Henry. You're no...

Oh. You're not Henry.

[Fang yawning]

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Well, you are him but you're not.

I'm Henry's double.

Really?

He's really got a double.

Yes, worm, he has. And that's me.

I don't suppose there's any point

in me telling you not to call me worm?

Nope.

Now, what's for breakfast and where is it?

It's downstairs.

Henry usually stays in bed though

till Mum stomps upstairs and really yells at him.

And even then he sometimes goes back to sleep

and doesn't get up till midday.

Doesn't he now?

Well, let's see if I can beat that for horridness.

Woah!

Mum's not going to like him at all.

[Fang] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[groans] What's going on?

You're never going to believe this, Henry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[crockery smashing]

[Mum] Henry, stop that!

-Henry! -Peter!

[Fang] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, hello.

Hello. I mean, hello.

You're not supposed to be awake yet.

Well, yes. I mean, no. I mean...

What was that loud crash?

Oh, I just threw my cereal bowl on the floor

when Mum said I couldn’t have Tickly Treats for breakfast.

It didn't bounce.

No, it wouldn't.

Then I told Mum that I wasn't doing any chores for a week,

a month, a year!

Then I slammed the kitchen door behind me

and run upstairs as loudly as I could.

Was that horrid enough?

-Well... -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think we need to have a chat.

Wait. Henry, it's not fair.

What's not fair?

Yeah, what’s not fair, wormy worm, smelly nappy baby?

How come you get another Henry

and I don't get another Peter?

I don't know, do I?

I've got no more idea of what's going on than you have.

But you got what you wanted.

You're gonna be twice as horrid and I...

We're going to be twice as perfect.

Peter!

Perfect Peter!

That's right.

So perfect they named me twice.

Perfect, Perfect Peter.

At your service, Perfect Peter.

Oops. Got to go!

Come on! I'll show you round.

[giggles]

But you know all about us already.

Look, this isn't being horrid, you know?

Yes, it is. Well, Mum thinks it is and she should know.

Well, yes, you're right, she does know

but you're not supposed to be horrid to me.

Well, to yourself.

That's Mr Kill. We don't throw him on the floor.

Oh, right, thanks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-And that's Fang. -Oops, sorry, Fang.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[knocking at the door]

[Mum] Henry, are you in there?

Henry!

What are you doing back in your pyjamas? You'll be late for school!

What? Oh, yes, sorry, Mum.

We'll talk about what happened at breakfast when your father gets home.

Oh, yes, right.

Don't worry. I'll handle your dad.

He won't be so clever when I've covered his calculator in slime

and dumped his work files in the dustbin.

That horrid enough for you?

Er, yes, but...

Ready for school?

-I am. -You mean, we are.

Well, I've packed my rucksack

and made my sandwiches and...

Hey, wait for me! I'm not dressed yet.

So much for getting a lie in.

Morning, lungweed.

Good morning, fair lady with the fiery hair

and the even more fiery temper.

You feeling alright today, Peter?

Oh, yes! I'm more perfect

than perfect can possibly be.

And I can't wait to show Miss Lovely

that I am more perfect than Perfect Peter

could ever hope to be.

Nice riddle, Peter.

Whereas I am so horrid

you're gonna wish you never knew the meaning of the word.

What's that supposed to mean?

Meet me at the climbing frame after school, beetlebonce.

We're going to settle this once and for all.

Ha! Says who?

Says the most horrid boy in the world.

There you are, Henry.

I've been waiting for you.

Thanks, er, little brother. Are we going in?

I'm not sure that's such a good idea.

Why not?

Because as far as anyone's concerned

we're already at school.

So, what are we going to do then?

Oh, watch a bit of How Green is Your Garden?

Maybe some Gross Class Zero.

Not the really gross ones, of course.

What's Mum gonna say?

Don't you worry, Henry.

I'll take care of Mum.

[Henry and Margaret groaning]

Blerugh! Take that, beetlebonce!

[Margaret groans]

You're the beetlebonce! Take that!

And that!

And don't you ever think

you can take the climbing frame away from me.

Beetlebonce!

Bogey brain beetlebonce!

[Mum] Time to rise and shine, boys!

[Henry yawning]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No Henry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or maybe I should say, one Henry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

It's us! Just us!

Steady on, worm.

Don't call me worm, Henry.

Alright then, smelly nappy baby.

Maybe it was all a dream, Henry.

Maybe it was. Let's hope so.

[Madame Tutu] Zut alors.

Horrible.

This is a sad day for Ashton Primary.

-[dinner ladies] Horrible. -[nose blowing]

[nose blowing]

[Miss Oddbod] I understand they're calling it

the Battle of the Beetlebonces.

-Zut alors. -Horrible.

We shall never forget this day.