Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ Wash your face and brush your hair ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag, it's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ So down with school! I'm gonna rule! ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life will be so sweet! ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK! ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

[scuffling]

[yawns]

[Peter] Hey!

I was here first.

No, you weren't. I was here first, in spirit.

-[pop] -Oi!

I need to clean my teeth.

Well, I need to clean my teeth, too.

I need the toothpaste.

Yes, worm, and I need the toothpaste, too!

I need it more than you

and don't call me worm.

No, you don't. My teeth are bigger than yours.

So is your head.

What did you say?

And anyway, you haven't had your breakfast yet.

-That's true. -Eurgh! Ah!

Eurgh.

There. All done.

[sighs]

Mum!

Morning, worm.

Don't be horrid, Henry.

Morning, Henry.

Finishing off your homework, honeybun?

Oh, no, I did all my homework last night.

I'm doing some extra "Number Gnomes" colour work.

[laughs] Well done, Peter.

Henry!

Don't be horrid, Henry.

Yes, don't be horrid, Henry.

What? I was just getting the cereal.

Well, you can just get the cereal more carefully, can't you?

I suppose.

Henry!

Right, that's it, Henry.

Go and brush your teeth.

But I've brushed my teeth already.

Well, go and do something useful then.

OK.

I've been meaning to sort out my Snotslimers for a while.

I guess now would be a good time to do it.

[Mum and Dad] Henry!

[man on TV] You're no match for me, whoever you are!

Sinus Selfie!

It’s OK, she’s run out of batteries!

Hey! I was watching that.

[Fluffy meows]

Quiet time now, Henry. You know that.

No, I don't.

What's quiet time when it's at home?

It's when we spend some quiet time together

before going up the wooden stairs to Bedfordshire.

[sighs] How are we even related?

Can't I watch TV quietly?

Gross Class Zero isn't quiet.

No, it's not.

Then can I watch something else? Something educational?

Something like Go For Your Greens?

Well, I did read something the other day

that said that watching TV isn't really all that bad for you.

Great!

It's on channel 247.

Thanks, worm.

[presenter] When we think about greens we not only think about greens

but yellows and reds and oranges too!

Riveting stuff.

[channel change]

[man on TV] That's the last time you'll ever do that.

Henry!

Alright, alright. I'll watch it quietly.

[yawns]

Henry, you're on my side.

What d'you mean on your side?

You're on my side of the sofa.

No, I'm not. I'm just on the sofa.

[presenter] And if you're the sort of person who mixes up

their woggle and their wiggle...

Mum!

What is it, plumbdust?

Plumbdust?

Henry's on my side of the sofa.

Henry. Henry!

Hmm?

Sorry, Mum. I was thinking about whether I mix up my woggle and my wiggle.

What?

-Mum! -Sorry, Peter.

Look, how about we make this the dividing line?

There.

Now you each know which side of the sofa is yours.

Thanks, Mum!

[presenter] So, my advice is,

if in doubt...

-Henry? -Hmm? Oh, yes, thanks, Mum.

[Fluffy meows]

[together] Fluffy!

-Henry! -She's your cat.

No, she's not.

-Is. -Isn't.

[Fluffy meows]

Henry, I'll tell on you.

Henry!

Only joking.

-Henry! -[Fluffy meows]

Mum!

[loud rock playing]

Turn that music down, Henry!

[music drowns his speech]

What did you say?

[music drowns his speech]

-[click] -[music stops]

I said, "You crossed the line, worm."

What line? And don't call me worm.

There's the line and you crossed it.

[Peter sighs]

There. Is that better?

Yeah. And make sure you stay there.

[Peter grunts]

Alright, Henry.

If that's how you want to play it.

Good morning.

[knocking]

Henry!

Time to wake up!

You're going to be late for school!

Oh, er, good morning.

Good morning, Henry.

Good morning, worm.

Not so fast, Henry.

You're stepping on my side of the bathroom.

How am I supposed to go to the toilet.

Oh, well, I suppose you can't.

What do you mean, I can't?

Well, it looks as though it's on my side.

So you can't.

My toothbrush is on your side too!

Oh, yes, looks like it is.

But... but...

But what, Henry?

But how am I gonna get my toothbrush?

Submit this paperwork in triplicate.

Who to?

To the Associate General, that's me,

who will submit it to the Grand Master General,

that's also me, who will consider your request.

And how long will that take?

Three days.

Three days? And what about using the toilet?

You are joking!

Best you don't see this.

No, no, no.

[ding]

Henry.

What'd you think you're doing?

Just looking for the cereal.

It's already on the table, Henry.

Thanks. I love these Sweet Tweets.

So do I.

[boing]

Eurgh!

-Henry! -Oops. Sorry, Dad.

Come on, boys. I'll drop you off.

I dunno what's got into you, Henry.

[sigh of relief] I'm ready, Mum.

Come on, Henry. You can help me find my car keys.

I ask you, is this fair?

[Mum] Tea's ready, boys.

What?

All's fair in love and war.

[Henry whistling]

I don't know what kind of game you're playing but it looks like fun.

Like I said, Mum, it's an experiment for school.

Where are the chips?

Oh, I thought we'd be posh tonight and help ourselves.

[crunch]

Three, two, one.

-My colouring book. -Yes.

-It's on your side. -Yes.

I don't suppose...

Nope. You'll need a visa.

Oh.

And a letter of recommendation. [ding]

From who?

The President of the United States of America.

[Mum] Quiet time, boys.

I love quiet time.

[TV turns on]

What are you looking at, worm?

Step aside, worm.

[Fluffy meows]

[TV changes channel]

[gnome] And Number Gnome Four said

to Number Gnome Two,

"Let's share and care

and be friends forever."

Nooooooooooo!

[Henry yawns]

Oh, morning. How are you today?

[Margaret] Oi, bogey brains!

Calling all bogey brains.

What do you want?

Oh, there you are.

I would like to kindly inform you

that I am intending to undertake

some improvements to my treehouse.

OK.

No idea what that means.

Apparently, it's a thing.

Er, OK. Can I go now?

Don't you want to know how long for?

And how annoying it's going to be for you?

Not really.

Alright, suit yourself.

OK.

Oi! I haven't finished.

I said, "OK!"

My dad says it's gonna be really dusty and dirty.

And it's gonna take you days to clean up.

You'll probably have to redecorate.

That's fine.

Good.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Consider me warned.

Always a drama.

[yawns]

One pancake for my Princess Pearl

with extra cream.

Yeah, this is my show, remember?

Yeah, remember.

So, as you can see,

I've gone for the complicated option.

Well, what did you expect?

Life's never simple when I'm around

and that's why I'm the star of this show.

Yeah, says you.

Susan, you've got one job to do.

One job.

What have you girls got planned for today?

Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that.

Designing mainly.

Oh, what fun.

You'll need a designer then.

Reckon we will.

I know just the person.

Course I'm having a designer.

You wouldn't expect little old me

to do it all myself, would you?

I need someone to boss around, don't I?

Yeah, but do you though?

I don't know what's got into you today, Susan.

Cream?

Yep. And extra choc chips.

Ahh, there you are.

I was just going to see what's on the schedule of horrid for today.

[ding]

Ahh, yes, Purple Hand Gang VIM.

That's "very important meeting", in case you were wondering.

I know it seems like it all just happens naturally

but true horridness needs a bit of planning.

You might be surprised to hear that I am in fact quite organised.

Not!

Now, where did I put that six slime slinger?

So, when the Ashton Argus heard what I was doing,

they rang me and they said they wanted a photograph

because they were probably going to make me Treehouse Re-Designer of the Year.

And I said, "Probably wasn't good enough.

It was have to be likely and even then,

they've have to tell me if they were going to do it or not."

Yeah, do it or not.

This must be her.

Do you mean me?

I do mean you.

Can I just say that she doesn't look that difficult.

You what?!

Your mum was telling me that you can be

just a teensy bit difficult sometimes

but looking at you I'm finding it very hard to believe.

Difficult? Moi?

Well, I... Oh, dear.

Relax.

I've worked with some of the most difficult people in the business,

the film business that is,

and trust me, designing is a doddle.

Really? And you are?

Moonage Makeovers. At your service.

Making your daydreams come true.

Yeah, right. Let's get on with it then, shall we?

Your wish is my command, lovely lady.

Susan!

[slurping]

I love mornings like this.

I can eat as many bowls of cereal as I like

and there's no one to tell me I can't.

Henry!

That packet was only opened this morning!

Huh! Spoke too soon.

Aren't you supposed to be organising the Purple Hand Gang VIM?

Well, yes, I've left messages for everyone.

Huh. Right.

I was thinking I'd just go and start to prepare the fort.

I'll be right out.

This is not a magic mirror.

Yes, it is. It says here on the label.

"Magic mirror, by appointment to Snow White's stepmother."

Well, it's not working then.

Yeah, not working.

Might I suggest...

Might you suggest what?

Might I suggest that we move on to another unique design feature.

Come back to the mirror when we've had a nice cup of tea

and a bit of a wash and brush up.

Alright then. Let's talk about the swimming pool.

A swimming pool?

In a treehouse? Is that even a thing?

Yes, of course, it's a thing.

Oh, OK.

Look, Mr Moonage Daydream,

everything is a thing

and we're going to do everything.

Yeah, everything.

-D'you know what? -Do I know what, what?

OK.

-OK. -Yeah, OK.

[drilling and hammering]

Looks like old bogey brain's

home improvement has started.

Ah, Lord High Majesty,

bad news I'm afraid.

Tell me in the meeting.

That's what I'm trying to tell you, Lord High Majesty.

There is no meeting.

Well, I can see that. Where is everyone?

They're not here.

Well, if they're not here, where are they?

They're over there, Lord High Majesty.

What are they doing over there?

Peter? Peter!

So, that's it then.

The dumbbell goes on top of the farts can,

which goes on top of the swimming pool,

which goes on top of the funfair.

Yeah! Don't forget the funfair.

Then the burger van.

Very important that burger van.

Followed by the top secret floor.

Always fancied myself as a bit of an FBI agent.

Anything else?

Go-kart track?

Sports stadium? Concert hall?

Oh, yes. All of the above.

Yeah, all of the above.

Anything else?

Erm, could we have a dolphinarium?

I just find they're so relaxing.

[crying]

Done.

I feel the wand of history passing over me.

Me too.

Come on, you lot. What's wrong with you?

-Oh, yes. -[all] Yes, yes.

-I dunno. -[knocking]

Yes?

What do you want?

What's going on?

Erm.

And what's that?

[Margaret] That, Henry, is history in the making.

Yeah, right.

And you lot? Are you all making history too?

I'm looking for Peter. Have you seen him anywhere?

Et tu, Peter.

I'm sorry, Henry.

She said I could have my own Santa's grotto

on the 21st floor.

Did she now?

Yeah, I did.

And guess what, Henry?

There's a floor for you too.

I don't think so, Margaret.

Who's with me?

What are you doing here?

I've resigned.

[Margaret yelling]

I'll get you, Mr Makeover Daydream,

whatever you call yourself!

What's wrong with old bogey brain?

Oh, the wand of history passed over her.

Eh?

Planning permission denied.

That meant she couldn't go ahead with the work.

Someone told the council about her plans.

Oh, right. And that someone was you?

Actually, it wasn't.

Oh, I wonder who it could have been then.

I have an idea but I'm not telling.

You know, you could do something with this place.

Yeah. I quite like it as it is.

I'm feeling a castle with turrets and flags.

Oh, no, thank you.

You sure about that, Henry?

Yep, I'm sure.

My fort should stay just the way it is.

Don't you agree? [laughs]